Jan 21, 2025
i love this man
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i love this man
Forget her - Jeff Buckley
don’t fool yourself, she was heartache from the moment that you met her
if todd anderson were a singer, he’d be jeff buckley.
GASP-part two to forget her??? it was SO perfect
I wasn’t gonna but…
So Real
Part 2 of Forget Her
Warnings: angst, kissing, etc.
────୨ৎ────
Love, let me sleep tonight on your couch
And remember the smell of the fabric of your simple city dress
You hesitated. Your feet shifted and your hand’s shook. You want to step away and just forget everything. You want to put everything behind you but you just can’t. You can’t seem to let them slip through your fingers just because of one person. You can’t let him slip away. So with a swift movement of your hand your knuckles knocked on the front door. Your breath hitched and you jerked your hand back like you were afraid.
The house went quiet. Your heart pounded in your chest and you quickly turned around just ready to leave and not face the embarrassment of trying to fix things you can’t. But it was too late. You heard the creak of the front door opening and soon you heard Sodas voice.
“Hello?”
You paused, feeling your heart sink into your stomach. You didn’t want to turn around but you knew you should. “For the best” you told yourself. So, you turned around and your eyes met Soda’s but it wasn’t the Soda you knew. He was different, so different. His eyes weren’t bright, he had dark circles under his eyes, and he just looked tired. Really tired.
“Hi.”
You shifted on your feet and quickly glanced away from him. Your hands fidgeted with the bottom of your shirt and he seemed to notice how anxious you were.
“Uh..do you want to come in?”
You nodded your head as your eyes met back with his.
“Yeah..that’d be nice.”
He stepped to the side so you’d be able to walk in. When you walked into the house you felt the eyes on you and your stomach began to turn. Two-bit had adverted his gaze from the tv onto you as he sipped his beer. Steve was sitting on the couch and gave you a subtle nod before adverting his gaze. Johnny shifted on the floor where he sat next to Pony and Ponyboy just raised his eyebrows in amusement. But Dallas, all he seemed to do was just stare. He stared at you like you did something wrong, like you were the problem. But they all looked at you that way. They all looked like you caused Sandy to cheat on him, like you chose to ruin his trust.
You sighed to yourself as you glanced around the living room. It all looked the same from how it was before but it was missing life. It was missing the happiness it once brought you. You moved your gaze back to Soda before mumbling under your breath so he’d only hear.
“Could we talk?”
He hesitated, his eyes never leaving your face. But he started walking to his bedroom and you followed. He shut the door behind you and you stood by his bed. It was awkward but you had to talk to him.
“I’m sorry.”
He looked back at you and shook his head.
“It’s alright, don’t sweat it.”
“No. Soda, I’m really sorry. I was wrong- she was your girlfriend and I just stepped in. I was like invading you both but I just- I just wanted you to be happy.”
He sighed and stepped closer to you but still keeping his space.
“I know. But you were right, she cheated on me. She got pregnant and moved but I-“
“I know.”
“I wanted to marry her, you know? It’s stupid because she’s pregnant with someone else’s baby. I said I would raise it as my own but..”
You swallowed hard as you felt your throat start to close up. You knew she cheated on him but you never knew he wanted to raise it as his own. God, maybe he was really stupid.
“Soda.”
You walked over to him. You hesitated to reach out for his hand but you did anyway.
“I was always there for you and I always will. But it really hurt that you just shut me out. I mean- I still care about you.”
You squeezed his hand as you looked into his eyes, the eyes that used to sparkle.
“Just tell me next time-”
He wrapped his arms around you and let out a shakey breath, not letting you finish. You were surprised but you let him hug you. You were thankful to finally get the attention you always wanted from him.
“I’m sorry. I’m so stupid. I should’ve listened to you-”
You could feel his tears against your shoulder but you didn’t mind, you would never mind.
“It’s okay.”
He moved his head back so he could look at you. His eyes were teary and his face was so beautiful. You don’t think you’ve ever seen someone so pretty when they cried.
“Friends?”
You smiled softly, finally feeling the warmth in your chest when you were around Soda. You agreed with a nod of your head.
“Friends.”
Oh that was so real
Oh that was so real
Oh that was so real
You would soon later try to make amends with the greasers because they were your friends at one point and you missed that. You also missed the feeling of being wanted because when Sandy was around they didn’t want you. She was new and pretty but you were old and known.
୨ৎ
The tv was blasting with a Mickey Mouse cartoon and the radio had Elvis playing. It was chaotic but you missed it. You were sprawled out against the couch right next to Soda. It was right after dinner so some greasers were heading home.
“Thanks for dinner, Darrel! See ya buddy.”
Steve punched Sodas shoulder but before Soda could say anything he was already gone. Two-bit sat up from the floor and handed you his beer.
“Uh, thanks?”
“Where ya goin’ Two?”
“Gotta head home and watch my baby sis. See ya guys later.”
With the last slam of the door everyone was gone except for Ponyboy and Darry. Dallas and Johnny had left before dinner since they wanted to do something “fun”. Darry wouldn’t let Pony no matter how much Ponyboy begged.
Darry stepped out of the kitchen and nodded to you both. He walked over to the radio and shut it off, than lowered the tv.
“I’m gonna hit the hay. Make sure Pony finishes his homework.”
“Alright.”
“Make sure lights are off by twelve. I do not wanna be spending more money then I have to on electric, ya hear?”
Soda nodded his head and you hummed in acknowledgment. Darry nodded his head before heading off into his room. Now, it’s just you and Soda alone. You didn’t know if you should leave or not but you didn’t want to.
“How was work today?”
He looked over at you and shrugged his shoulders.
“It was fine it was like usual. Some old guy came in since he didn’t know how to work the gas pump.”
You laughed at how stupid that was and he smiled. He smiled as he watched you laugh and you pretended not to notice.
“You know, it’s really nice to have you around again. I missed this.”
“I did too.”
You paused as you looked at Soda and he did too. His eyes roamed over your face and you swear you noticed him looking at your lips. You turned your head around and looked back at the tv, trying to pretend to be invested in the cartoon. You could still feel his gaze on you but you tried to ignore it the best you could. Your eyes met his once again and you smiled softly
“What is it, Soda?”
He shook his head and stretched his arms out behind the couch.
“Nothing, just-“
You heard someone clear their throat and Ponyboy was standing there with his arms crossed.
“Oh- hey Pone.”
“Hi, Pony”
Ponyboy’s face was twisted but he shook his head in annoyance.
“I’m going to bed.”
“Alright, night.”
You waved bye to him and he gave you a little nod. You sighed and started to get up but Soda furrowed his eyebrows and started to stand up too.
“Where are you goin’?”
“I’m gonna head home, it’s getting pretty late.”
He nodded his head and shifted on his feet.
“See me tomorrow?”
You tilted your head to the side and smiled.
“Of course.”
You both paused not wanting to separate from the other. So, as any sane girl would do if they were alone with Sodapop Curtis, you got on your tippy toes and kissed his cheek.
“Bye, Curtis.”
He grinned and grabbed onto your hand not wanting you to leave. You started to walk away and your hands both separated, just as you both did once before.
We walked around ‘til the moon got full like a plate
And the wind blew an invocation and I feel asleep at the gate
And I never stepped on the cracks ‘cause I thought I’d hurt my mother
You and Soda both strolled down the cracked pavement’s of Tulsa with filled belly’s with fries and a shared vanilla milkshake. The night air was cool but you were warmed by Sodas laughter and smile. It was dark but the stars sparkled in the night sky and the street lamps lit up each corner.
“It’s so nice out!”
You turned with your hands up, feeling the air flow through your hair and against your skin. Sodapop laughed, admiring the way your smile lit up your features.
“Come on, Pepsi-Cola! Join me!”
He cocked his head to the side and grinned.
“If you say so..”
He did the same as you and soon you were both a laughing mess. You leaned against a nearby building wall trying to study your dizzy mind, Soda did the same. You sighed and glanced up at the stars.
“They’re so beautiful. Like- just look at how they light everything up.”
Soda nodded his head as you talked about the stars but his gaze stayed fixed on you.
“Yeah, I don’t think I’ve seen anything so beautiful.”
You averted your gaze from the stars then back to him but you felt your face heat up when he was already looking at you. You shook your head feeling embarrassed.
“Oh god.”
“What?”
“Come on let’s go home, lover boy.”
He chucked and you both walked side by side back to your home. His hand would occasionally touch yours which would send you an adrenaline rush through your veins and a flutter through your chest. You’d never think that you’d be in this situation. You’d never thought you’d ever talk to Soda again but here you were walking side by side.
And I couldn’t awake from that nightmare that sucked me in and pulled me under
Pulled me under
You both stood on your front porch. You already said your goodbye’s but neither of you moved. You didn’t want to leave just yet and you could tell he wasn’t leaving either. You shifted on your feet and Soda walked a few steps towards you. The smell of his cologne filled your nose and personal space since he was getting close. He pushed a strand of hair behind your ear and you felt your pulse quicken.
“Soda..”
He tilted his head and smiled but before you could comprehend anything he leaned in closer and closer. Your eyes fluttered shut as you felt your lips finally connect. This was the moment you were dreaming of and it finally happened. Your hands wrapped around his neck, wanting to feel that this was real. He leaned back to catch his breath and you did too. You smiled brightly back up at him and his eyes sparkled how they used too.
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you get so shy before.”
You laughed and hit his arm.
“Stupid.”
“I’m only stupid for you.”
You both looked at each other with so much admiration and love. You knew you loved Soda but you never thought he’d love you back. You knew he’d never love you as much as he loved Sandy but that didn’t matter when he leaned in a second time.
Beep
Beep
You jolted awake from your bed with your heart pounding. You glanced around your dark room to see where you were. You shifted in your bed to only realize you were alone. Your heart felt heavy and you felt your eyes start to flood with tears. You were alone in your cold, dark room. You wished to feel the warmth you did so many months ago but it was gone. It was all a dream. None of it was real, no matter how hard you try to convince yourself it was.
All you have is your tears and emptiness because you decided to walk away. You never knocked on that door all because you were too embarrassed to face the person you loved. Now you’ll never know what it feels like to be loved by him.
Oh that was so real
Oh that was so real
Oh that was so real
rest in peace jeff buckley i love your music
This edit means so much to me.😭
[edit made by: missameriica on TikTok] please check her out she’s actually so talented its wild