"Jesus' true message: Do whatever the fuck you want to whoever the fuck you want and you still get into heaven if you believe in me."
Matthew 10:32-33
Whosoever therefore shall confess me before men, him will I confess also before my Father which is in heaven. But whosoever shall deny me before men, him will I also deny before my Father which is in heaven.
Matthew 12:30-32
He that is not with me is against me; and he that gathereth not with me scattereth abroad. Wherefore I say unto you, All manner of sin and blasphemy shall be forgiven unto men: but the blasphemy against the Holy Ghost shall not be forgiven unto men. And whosoever speaketh a word against the Son of man, it shall be forgiven him: but whosoever speaketh against the Holy Ghost, it shall not be forgiven him, neither in this world, neither in the world to come.
Mark 3:28-30
Verily I say unto you, All sins shall be forgiven unto the sons of men, and blasphemies wherewith soever they shall blaspheme: But he that shall blaspheme against the Holy Ghost hath never forgiveness, but is in danger of eternal damnation. Because they said, He hath an unclean spirit.
Luke 12:8-10
Also I say unto you, Whosoever shall confess me before men, him shall the Son of man also confess before the angels of God: But he that denieth me before men shall be denied before the angels of God. And whosoever shall speak a word against the Son of man, it shall be forgiven him: but unto him that blasphemeth against the Holy Ghost it shall not be forgiven.
There is no evil that Jesus will not forgive on behalf of the people you hurt, without bothering to even involve them, except the slight of hurting the feelings of an omnipotent, omniscient being who was around for eternity before and will be around for eternity after.
Because 100 billion years from now, he'll still be thinking about the time I said he was worse than the Jigsaw Killer, and reassuring himself that he did the right thing in setting me on fire for eternity, as if that doesn't completely prove my point.
Seems legit.














