Pretty sure that one of my "close friends" is, in fact, a horrible "friend". He constantly makes fun of me, even when I make it clear that I'm not in the mood and don't find it funny. He does things he knows I hate despite me asking him to stop doing them. He generally doesn't listen to what I have to say and instead makes everything about him. He can do something to hurt me and make me upset and then he turns it around on me, as if I somehow did it to myself and I'm the one who's hurt him somehow. Of course the rest of our "squad" has been friends with him longer than they have been friends with me so anytime these things happen they take his side and I'm always the one at fault. He can say something to hurt me but if I say something equally hurtful back then I'm the one who "started it" and he was "just joking" and I "took it too far" (despite using the same tone and same delivery) He keeps doing things that hurt and upset me but I'm never taken seriously (or perhaps, and more likely, he doesn't give a shit) when I express my feelings on the matter. I'm so sick of him acting this way towards me and I'm sick of the rest of my "friends" just ignoring it, or worse adding to it as a "joke". He can be okay sometimes but the majority of the time he just pisses me off. A prime example of him being shitty and not listening to me is the time he told my favorite teacher //DURING A SCHOOL FIELD TRIP// that I was suicidal and he was "worried about me". This was during a fucking field trip, six hours away from home, over a three day period, after I had said multiple times that I was not suicidal and wasn't going to fucking kill myself. He didn't listen to me and chose to tell //my// favorite teacher about //my// depression on a school trip even though I assured him I was fine. As if I would fucking off myself on a school trip of all things. Of course I was and am still livid. I told him I was fine and he outright ignored me. Then, when I sit him down to explain why that was fucked up and why I was upset he has the audacity to make it about him. "Oh well I've been depressed" "I know how it is" "I know it should be taken seriously" "Blah blah blah" "I get really depressed" "I lost two family members to suicide so it's serious". YOUR EXPERIENCES DO NOT GIVE YOU THE RIGHT TO DIVULGE THAT KIND OF SECRET AND PERSONAL INFORMATION. I lost a good friend to suicide, I know how it fucks up the people left behind. I saw and still see it's affects on my brother, his friend tried to call him for days and in the minutes before he killed himself and now he has PTSD from the trauma. I'm not actively suicidal and I wasn't actively suicidal. I'm not stupid. There's a difference between self deprecating humor as a coping mechanism and actually being actively suicidal and I explained this to him. BUT OF COURSE, MAKE IT ABOUT YOURSELF WHEN IM THE ONE WHO HAS TO DEAL WITH THE CONSEQUENCES OF YOUR ACTIONS AND IM THE ONE WHO WAS FUCKING HURT BY IT. You'd think after all his shit I would just drop him but I quite like our other friends. The only issue is them siding with him all the time. I know that if I end my "friendship" with him, then I end my friendships with them and I don't want that.
