#friendship help

[kerokerrrokerroppi]

Is it bad that I genuinely don’t want to hangout with my friends anymore?

Nothing happened or has happened between any of us (I have 3 friends) that would make me feel this way. For seemingly no reason I just don’t want to hangout with anyone anymore (besides family, that’s ok.)

Idk. I tried talking to my therapist about this, she said it was concerning and that I should hangout with at least one of my friends soon.

[athenafortescue]

If you're being rejected constantly, and have no idea why....

Check your communication. It might be something really tiny that you don't even recognize is a problem.

I just found out I have a lot of trouble reading social context clues in conversations. For example, a few months ago, someone had apparently asked me for space... but they didn't use those words to do it, and I just had no idea they had even set a boundary. So a few days ago, they completely cut me out of their life for the time-being. Thankfully, they gave me some hints as to why, so I was able to go back through old texts and try to see where they had asked.... and it took a bit. They had said they'd, "likely reply to these [messages] in a few days." Well, when a few days came and went, I figured they hadn't had time, and we could talk about other things. No idea they'd asked for space. None.

So I talked to a friend who had known me longer, and she thought it was obvious that I didn't always pick up on things. She'd just always rephrased things until she knew I understood. So apparently, it's obvious to some people, not obvious to others, and I didn't even know until now. Makes sense that people I have dearly loved have left now--I accidentally kept crossing boundaries that they thought they'd made clear. I do find it a little funny that I've been trying so hard to just be accepted somewhere, and developed such deep pain and trauma from rejection, and all this time, it's been a seemingly minor communication issue. And it really explains almost everything.

But NOW, I know that I need to be up front and explain that unless you tell me boundaries or things you need me to know in plain English, I won't have a clue. I'm also going to work on trying to recognize the subtle nuances that others see.

Now, obviously, it may not be communication. There may be another issue, or you may have just had a string of emotionally immature people. But guys, there's hope! If I can find out at 27 why I've been chasing people away since my teens, we can all find out.

[wilder-fangirl]

Hey there wise people of Tumblr! I have a problem and if anyone knows what to do in this kind of situation would you please lend me some insight?

My friend won't stop sending me memes and screenshots from fandoms that I know nothing about and that I'm not going to get into. I want to ask him to stop because I never know what to say and it's annoying when I think he wants to talk but he's actually just sending me this stuff. I haven't asked him to stop yet because don't want to hurt his feelings. I don't know how I would ask him to stop without hurting his feelings.

He's a pretty lonely guy from what I can tell. He just moved away to college and I asked him if he has any friends and he said he has like 1 acquaintance. I'd be fine with talking to him about life or things we're both interested in so he doesn't feel so lonely but whenever he texts me it's all this out of context stuff from fandoms that I'm not in.

I thought he had a bunch of online friends that he shared these interests with. But now I wonder if he does because he keeps sending me this stuff and it puts me in a weird place.

I don't do this to him. I only send him stuff about interests that we share. When I want to talk about hyperfixations that he isn't into, I talk to my friends in that fandom. It just doesn't occur to me to do to him what he does to me - I feel like if I bombarded him with stuff he doesn't like that would be rude. So why does he feel like he can do that to me all the time?

I get that he's probably lonely and maybe wants to start a conversation but I can't have a conversation about something I literally know nothing about.

Like, for example here's a couple of the things he's sent me recently:

Slashers scare me so I don't watch them, I'm not a furry and I don't watch any anime.

He sent me that last one with zero context. Like cool that's your reaction to that thing you like but I didn't text you my reaction when my OTP nearly kissed in a show that I know you know nothing about.

It's just really annoying but I don't want to hurt his feelings if I ask him to stop.

Sorry this was so long but if anyone could help I'd appreciate it a lot. I do care about him but I just can't stand it when he does this.

[jiminhitspot]

one thing i genuinely wont do is apologies. yes i know im in the wrong, yes i was horrible and understood ur point of view but i wont have the balls to actually communicate and tell u that i am sorry for what i have done. it not even a thing where i hate apologising, i just cant bring my self together to say it in a serious situation like i look so weak and vulnerable and i dont want to be taken advantage again because its humiliating.

so like how do i tell them im sorry without actually saying im sorry because i miss texting them but what i last said to them triggered them so badly we haven’t spoken in about 4 days now. and if i sense a rude tone i will block them which id very rare because i acc dont do that..

so what do i do😖😖

and watch people air this but im in desperate need of help and i know the whole situation is my fault.

[moonbamboom]

How do I tell a friend of over 10 years that I can't be their best friend anymore, sure I still want to be their friend but I can no longer be their main supporter. Because it truly has just been me for years. And I don't want to get this person angry with me that they would try to be vengeful, because that is a trait they have.

[loveadvice]

Hi! I need some advice on how should I do this, I'll explain:

I used to be friends with this girl as kids (our moms kinda "made us" being friends cause we went to the same church) and we continued being friends as teenagers. She was a "theater kid" and that made me cringe a lot to the point that we had a fight about it and grew apart from each other. I remember she, back then, told me I was being a mean brat and that if I valued her and her friendship I should suck it up and go with her to her events/plays and stop making those faces and if I didn't then I never was her friend at all. I got mad too and told her that if she was my friend she wouldn't make me go with her to every single event/play that she was in, that I didn't meant to make those faces it's just that I couldn't stop it

Now we are both adults, we recently saw each other and chatted for a while. We both agreed that we were stupid teens, that all of our drama should stay behind

It was all good (I even got to met her husband and 3 kids and she met my fiance) until now that she invited me to a group event where they sing/act/do theater things. I tought she was joking at first but quickly realized she wasn't, I told her in the most polite way I could find that those events still make me cringe, that we should see each other outside those events and she (almost as exactly as the last time we had that fight) got all dramatic and defensive and told me that she thought that I had changed and matured but she realized I was the same as the last time we saw each other, that I was even making those faces again and, before I could say anything, she grabed her things and left, not before saying to me that she was gonna expect me to go at this event

I talked with my fiance about it and he laughed. Not in a mean way, it's just that we both think it's ridiculous, that we are both adults now, that she shouldn't be that hurt about something like that, that we can perfectly see each other outside those events. My fiance laughed even more about me doing "the faces". Again, not in a mean way, but in a "I know what faces she means". I mean, my fiance always says that I'm as expresive with my face as Emilia Clarke is, that I could tell a story by just making faces

Now, my fiance thinks that I should block this woman and move on but I don't know, isn't that too rude? Should I say something to her? I mean, I don't wanna go to this event but she's not gonna listen that. Should I just not go and that's it?

Yeah, the mom’s being friends and putting you two together expecting you two to get along is always wack. I feel like it never worked out for me. As a tangent, I remember my mom was friends with this girl in college (she went later in life) and she’d take my brother and I to her house and we’d “play” video games with her son. This kid was a total DICK and he never let us play so we’d just sit there watching. They had a dog that sucked too. They ended up not being friends anymore after she turned out to be an ass too. Anywho, I’ll continue on with your ask, but this just brought up some memories.

I will say, I do think it is kind of sweet that you two met after all this time. It sounds like you’ve got a good grasp on what the relationship was like for you and I do think it is so funny you think that the theater stuff is cringe. It kind of is so I get it, but yeah it sounds like she is really passionate about it. I would honestly laugh along with your husband just because I do agree it is ridiculous. You two are so much older and I feel like just because you grew up doesn’t mean you’re going to suddenly like theater stuff. I do think it is kind of wild that she expects you to go to her even after having what I feel like was a second minor falling out.

As far as blocking this woman, I mean, I don’t know her and I always want to give people a chance, but I feel like you and your fiancé sound like solid people so I feel like I should trust his judgement even though I’ve never met him. I think blocking should usually be reserved if you think the person is going to be a trouble maker later on. Regardless, even if they don’t make you trouble, she will be kind of annoying and it doesn’t sound like you two would end up spending much time together despite this rekindling. It just sounds like you two still might not have that much in common besides being older now.

My thought is, if you don’t think you’d actually want to spend time with this person going forward, then don’t go to the event. The earlier you do it the better because as an adult, I feel like our time is so precious so I wouldn’t want to spend it on something I don’t really like. Is it rude? Not really. I think it depends how someone takes it, but just because saying no is uncomfortable, doesn’t mean you need to do it. If you think there might be something a little salvageable from this relationship, then maybe go. Honestly, I think it would be a good experiment not to go just to see what her reaction would be. It would give a good bearing on what she is like as a person now. Ultimately, it is up to you. If I were you, I probably wouldn’t go and let things fizzle out, but that’s only because I’m not the type to be that excited about old friendships. I feel like sitting in an event is a commitment versus a relationship like this might be more of a “hey lets have coffee today” type thing.

Posted June 11, 2025

[draxia-fr]

hi i need help its a boy problem 

so there’s this boy. we’ve been friends for about a year and last school dance he asked me to dance. i kind of like him but i’ve been pushing those feelings away because lol fuck feelings. I DO want to stay friends with him but after the dance, we just kind of got awkward. I was always the one trying to initiate conversation and he just goes oh okay like that and you know, awkward? We weren’t like this before the dance. We treated each other as very close bros but now, we’re like repelling magnets. It doesn’t help that we’re not at the same class so we just meet at the hallway during recess and shit. Its just a very awkward hi and goodbye. I kind of want to reverse time and just don’t attend the school dance because I guess if I didn’t we’ll still stay the same level of friendship and closeness as we were. I was kind of regretting agreeing to us dancing but I guess that’s the best choice because if I said no, it would be more awkward right? I don’t know. The damage has been done and I want to restart our friendship; restart it without all the awkwardness and feelings and shit.

I don’t want to lose him. He’s a really cool guy, we both have the same sense of humor and we just really agree with each other well. He understands me and I understand him; well before that stupid dance :\ I leaned on this problem with some of my girl friends but they either just ignore me, say things like “oh thats sad”, or just blatantly change the subject so I’m turning to you guys for help lmao.

tl;dr: how to remove awkwardness between friendships?