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Kyman: The Broken Asshole(s)

Finally the TFBW post that I’ve wanted to make for some time now because I actually got both games back in early December and have been binge playing them both for way too long.

Alright let’s start off with some battle designs:

I made a whole save just so I could play through the whole game with Coon and The Human Kite as my fighting team (the third was Craig still because I needed actual DAMAGE- seriously as a person who usually plays three brutalists with a half-healer doing this was HARD) and let me tell you some THINGS here.

So this may just be my playing style sucking ass but I swear to god, Kyle as a support character literally COMPLIMENTS Cartman’s in the best way possible. So because I consider the new kid to take damage dealing/occasional healing, and Craig is CRACKED, Cartman and Kyle end up always sticking together.

I’ll be half way through a fight before I notice that subconsciously, Kyle and Cartman are both on the other side of the field with Kyle moderating Cartman’s health and the other slashing through enemies like it’s no one’s business (of course they would be no where without me with my defense down bullshit but still)

Because Cartman doesn’t have as much health as a tank (like Craig) he still needs heals a lot more than I thought he would. On top of this, his attacks are literally designed for him to rush into a group of enemies and get viciously mauled.

The first time I had to fight the chefs I played Coon without Kyle because I didn’t think twice about it and by the second turn Cartman was dying on the ground like a gutted fish.

Therefore, having a healer that pulls him out of trouble when he needs it is like having a safety net to catch any 4 health point almost-deaths.

Dialog:

I’m actually pretty surprised at how much these two don’t fight in idle battle. I’m probably just thirsting for them to get pissed at each other, but man when I heard Cartman say “Kick up the intensity Human Kite” and all Kyle resounded with was “worry about your own shit, Coon” I was like WTF IS THIS????

I mean up until the actual ending of the game it’s like Kyle’s fuckin’ mellowed out or some shit, he never once blows up.

If you wanted to, you could think of this as Kyle and Cartman playing their character’s personas because I guess they’re supposed to be on the same team and all. So maybe The Human Kite and The Coon don’t fight as often or as violently as Kyle Brofloski and Eric Cartman.

This is actually pretty wholesome, given how usually kyman gets shit on for being toxic. I mean, understandably it’s pretty hard to capture a kyman dynamic that isn’t ooc and is also not at each other’s throat 24/7. However, if we’re considering this slightly canon then by all means I’m going to take it as Kyle and Cartman have the ability to be slightly passive towards each other.

I think this is probably the closest we’ll get to actual civil kyman ever, but I digress.

TL:DR, Cartman’s insults and Kyle’s reactions to them (at least in idle interactions) are watered down and they seem to actually be sort-of allies which is pretty awesome :)

When they heal each other, they don’t say anything about it either (if they do please send me it or smth) . Like, they don’t act specifically hostile to each other, if anything they literally act as if any one else healed them.

Treating this as a positive thing, Cartman also seems to like- compliment Kyle a lot??? So obviously he still bashes on him but those passive/vague praises are..,,???

Weird things like calling The Human Kite’s tri-laser-ultimate thingy a beautiful light show, and being invested in Kyle riding in the new kids back, is kinda sus lol

Storyline:

OH MAN YALL

Okay so first of all we have to get this out of the way. Stan, I may not like you as a character but LMAO, mans literally left for two seconds and Kyle went “aight it’s time to become allies with my sworn enemy again B) Back at it again at Cartman Burger”.

^Correction: at first they all sided with Cartman and then the broke up (haha funny dating pun get it) but the point still stands,

This is literally exactly what happened during SoT NOT the game but in the show.

They were all united under one side with Cartman, and then another side split off and Kyle chooses to stand with Cartman for one reason or another. I think I saw a post about this somewhere (I’ll have to see if I can grab the link) but SOMEONE on Tumblr had mentioned that this could be because of Kyle’s belief

‘Either it’s all okay, or none of it is’

So his problem could’ve been with inclusivity sensitivities, and the most peculiar thing about that is that was what sparked such a huge conflict between him and Cartman. (I’m talking abt Cartoon Wars btw) Now it brings them together? Eh, I love that idea but I don’t know how accurate it would be to a canon version of Kyle. At the very least, we know that the closest to canon Kyle would be sticking to his morals, and this seems to fit the bill.

Alright so maybe he decided to stay with Coon and Friends because of some other deal. Really the only other option (considering the idea that Kyle is NOT in any way shape or form staying for Cartman specifically) is that Kyle would stay because he has his own movies, and well that seems actually pretty plausible.

We’ve seen that Kyle not being exempt from being a little bit fucked in the head (You have 0 friends), as are all South Park characters, so this would actually be pretty reasonable, however the only reason why I’m still hesitant about this is because we also know the extent of how much he hates Cartman.

Kyle would go against Cartman in every single possible way if he could, mostly because he’d be paranoid of him cooking up some mischievous shit (mentioned in my Kyman agrees post). So is the promise of some public clout enough to win him over? For Stan yes, and here’s where I’m going to say it:

I think TFBW would be super interesting if Stan and Kyle switched places.

Stan would be influenced by the promise of clout much more than Kyle would, and Kyle would enjoy helping people in the cool way more than Stan would. That’s why TFBW being written the way it is makes me appreciate it so much.

South Park knows how the main 4 are characterized and they broke expectations by showing us: Kyle isn’t some bitchass who advocates for the morally correct thing all the time. Sometimes he can agree with Cartman over something. And Stan isn’t some bitch boy who folds at the slightest mention of clout…okay maybe he is but I’m based so-

So ergo, the true question I still think about if why did Kyle stay with Coon and Friends?

#kyman #kyle broflovski #eric cartman #sp kyman #southpark #the fractured but whole #gaming nerd #but it's not my fault #They're literally so annoying to deal with each other #Even when they're not fighting #ffs #part two soon #I hope

I TOTALLY didn't just spend more than 50 hours in the last week playing Witcher 3. Nope....no idea what you're talking about.....

-me, trying to explain why I've been antisocial the last week.

#geralt x dandelion #jaskier #the witcher #the witcher 3 #gaming nerd #i think i might be addicted again #geralt is my ride or die doofus

The first bit of artwork I can now post in the run up to a special project I’m currently part of!

This is a Tremere PC who is going to feature in an upcoming VTM campaign and livestream - more details to come!