An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
My masterpiece is finally being uploaded in small chunks. Amen witches bless this shit took me like 4 months to write LMFAO. Never fear technically 6/7 chapters are written I'm just uploading it in smaller bits so I can reread and edit anything I need to before posting.
With a whopping final word count of fucking 50 thousand words though I think I did in fact surprise myself.
has anyone noticed that after the porn ban of 2018 tumblr was essentially killed from the mainstream and everyone flocked to other social media sites like twitter and meta. then those sites got enshittified to where twitter became Nazi Central and meta sites had an entire meme around getting “zucced” aka mark zuckerberg himself would ban you for saying a no-no word like fuck. and then the mainstream shifted to tiktok where infamous toddlerspeak sentences like “he got unalived by a pew pew” were born because if you once again say a no-no word like kill or gun or any other word that isn’t corporate i mean kid friendly then the algorithm will bury your post into the ground. and somehow we’ve come full circle and tumblr is now the most bearable social media site because although we can’t have female presenting nipples we can at least talk to each other like adults. has anyone noticed that at all or is it just me and the flaming skull
Hi! I’m not sure where to potentially ask so I’ll ask here ^^” Me and my friend love your vampire sun/moon au of course and we were thinking about privately commissioning a 3D modeler to have a custom vrchat avatar of the sun and moon duo-
Obviously these are your characters and we wouldn’t share these avatars with anyone as we want them to just be for ourselves but I wanted to ask if we’re allowed to privately commission something like this or if they’re ’off limits’ do to speak (sorry if I’ve worded this a little wonky I’m doing my best ^^”)
Ahhh that sounds really cool and I don't mind at all as long as you don't share them widely, as you mentioned! All I'm asking for is for you to share the final result with me, just because I'm noisy and wanna see my guys in 3D hehe<3 thank you for asking first!
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
My masterpiece is finally being uploaded in small chunks. Amen witches bless this shit took me like 4 months to write LMFAO. Never fear technically 6/7 chapters are written I'm just uploading it in smaller bits so I can reread and edit anything I need to before posting.
With a whopping final word count of fucking 50 thousand words though I think I did in fact surprise myself.
it differs depending on how you look at it, but to me, Pure Vanilla totally has WAY more world experience than Shadow Milk does. which is wild when Shadow Milk is the embodiment of Knowledge itself but listen. hear me out.
from the moment Shadow Milk existed he was A God. he had to be The Fount of Knowledge. he wasn't allowed to be anything else but the god he was made to be. he preached knowledge, but there's a difference between knowing something and experiencing something.
meanwhile, Pure Vanilla was a shepherd (shepherds are fucking cracked btw, sheep are several hundred pounds of animal and shepherds have to be able manhandle them with ease). on top of that, Pure Vanilla went out into the world and learned magic. he adventured. he fights off hoards of monsters and dragons with his friends and has celebratory drinks with them. he founded an entire kingdom and ruled politically as its king.
Pure Vanilla is more composed and regal than the embodiment of knowledge itself because he has that worldly experience. he had time to grow and learn how to mess up and make mistakes and learn from those mistakes.
and the reason Shadow Milk is so fucking insane is because he's extremely repressed. he was never allowed the freedom to be anything but the Fount of Knowledge. and the second he tried to do anything but be that, the witches sealed him away for thousands of years.
all this to say, Shadow Milk can dish it but he can't take it. Who would win: shepherd mage king who works out regularly vs immortal jester god who's been wasting away for millennia.
Loving this because of how it reflects their virtues as well. Pure Vanilla as truth isn’t just about TELLING the truth, he has more experience simply because he lives an honest life to the best of his ability. At his core PV literally has more experience- his life IS truth.
The pain of it (loneliness, a burden too great, literally DYING), the joy of it (traveling with friends, enjoying the little things), the highs and lows, PV’s life is the true experience of going through life learning and adapting.
Shadow Milk’s life was living a lie, living something that was shallow from the very start (not his fault). Stagnant, the Fount of Knowledge had ONE purpose, one non-moving lie. He already knew everything. He couldn’t change, and when he did it was a lie anyway.
He had no capacity to grow because for the longest time not only was he a shut in but his mind had no room for change.
Idk reminds me of people who escape toxic situations vs people who are stuck with them. Their mindsets are so different, one can enjoy idle things in life because they no longer suffer and dare to dream, meanwhile the other is confined to one area, one single suffering mindset and is afraid to step out of line.
I think it's interesting that the Beasts are conform to traditional gender roles, especially when compared to the Ancient Heroes. The warriors are men, and the women are in more nurturing positions. While Shadow Milk is far from traditionally masculine now, while he was still a Virtue, he was an academic – a position often seen as strictly for men. (And I feel it goes without saying that he almost certainly wasn't a shapeshifter until after his fall, given that his shifting is an extension of and aid for Shadow Milk's Deceit. That means no fluidity between masculine and feminine forms.)
Compare this to the Ancient Heroes. Pure Vanilla is an effeminate male healer (often voiced by women in different languages), and there are two strong warrior women. Dark Cacao and White Lily are the closest to being gender-conforming, but they still fall short, so to say. Dark Cacao is a strong king with a noted soft side, and White Lily is a delicate women with a thirst for knowledge. (Remember: academia and knowledge are traditionally seen as men's territory.)
Furthermore, the Beasts have a majority of men, and the Ancient have a majority of women.
I like to imagine this is has to do with the fact that the Beasts were made for their roles, while the Ancient Heroes grew up as normal people before being gifted their sacred status. When the Virtues were hand-crafted, they were imagined up as 'suited' for their designated roles in every way. But, once these attempted manifestations of perfect ideals failed, it fell to normal people. And normal people are much more variant, much more diverse. But one can argue that it is also through the Ancient Heroes' upbringing as normal people that they are able to thrive where the Virtues once fell.
I've seen enough Shadownilla haters and whatnot actively call the ship abusive and one-sided if anything. Everyone's entitled to their opinion of course, but there was something that bugged me for a while.
Clearly claiming the ship is abuser/victim would be putting Shadow Milk in the abuser's shoes and Vanilla in the victim's shoes given what happens throughout their arc. And this could be valid to some degree, Shadow Milk DID indeed practically push Pure Vanilla to his limits- making his doubt his very identity and capitalized on his vulnerabilities to make it happen.
In fact, if their story actually ended after Pure Vanilla ascends and him + the Gingerbrave gang just beat Shadow Milk- if it ended right after they LEFT I'd actually find more substance in shadownilla hater claims.
Ending at the "Friends Return!" cutscene, would depict the basis of any of the expected relationship between beast and ancient. They're opposites, one of them is ruined beyond comprehension and their actions against an innocent vicitm can't just be justified by their past actions.
The gang promptly leaving after defeating Shadow Milk would enforce that there isn't any room for forgiveness. From the canon characters and the audience as well. What Shadow Milk is did was unforgivable and at the core of it he's 'a character who's hurt but still did horrible things and shouldn't be forgiven'.
So why do the anti-shadownilla comments on tik tok SO determined to get their point across still bother me?
I mean for one, I understand that the age group of people commenting this are probably very young and their claims aren't actually based on evidence.
But can I try and use canon dialouge to even prove their point?
Because of the existence of "Pure Vanilla's Proposal" being an actual CANON cutscene I can't.
Pure Vanilla handling Shadow Milk in this interaction is crucial because in a way he's not just addressing Shadow Milk but also guiding the audience's reaction to him treating PV badly.
Pure Vanilla states right from the get go that nothing is more important than protecting his friends. But he goes on to say that just because that is his priority doesn't mean there's not enough space in his heart to care for another. To care for Shadow Milk.
Or rather- why Shadow Milk is the way that he is.
PV pounces on something that high key I only really see being addressed in fanfics and fan speculations. "Why did the villain keep around this nuisance for so long instead of just getting rid of them."
Usually though, because those are just fan notices the usual reaction is "oh you're just pushing your view of the ship onto the characters, it's not that serious". It's never really CONSIDERED.
So when Pure Vanilla- LITERALLY the 'victim' in question asks Shadow Milk this it really does feel like I'm reading a fic instead of watching canon dialogue- it's almost too good to be true honestly pfft.
Thank you Pure Vanilla for literally being cookie Jesus and extending your hand to everyone- even your other half.
Ugh. And of course, we knew from before that Shadow Milk Cookie has had things happen TO him- which is the reason he acted this way to begin with. Why he went from "Fount of Knowledge" to "Shadow Milk Cookie".
But again- to have ANOTHER character in canon point it out- to have Pure Vanilla himself point it out.
It's about communicating genuine feelings and trying to understand each other. Shadownilla isn't about one cookie tormenting the other- it's about these two understanding each other and at least one of them trying to COMMUNICATE that.
It puts them in a state of vulnerability- it puts SHADOW MILK who's been hurt and done absolutely dirty by the witches in a state of weakness not physically but EMOTIONALLY.
This never happens in canon because... well I can't really tell you. A lot of shows that I WISHED had these vulnerable moments for ships I enjoy never do for one reason or another. It's probably why I enjoy this one in particular so much.
Whether or not shadownilla will ever be actually canon is up to debate. But they're still soulmates, on a bound level these two are tied to each other or else their stories would never include such a vulnerable moment that they genuinely SHOW the audience.
Especially in a scenario here where we don't see Shadow Milk being an 'abuser'. In this scene- "Pure Vanilla's Proposal" Shadow Milk is intimidated. He's scared. And not of being hurt- but because his feelings were put on display and his other half literally pet his head and told him 'it's okay you don't have to be lonely anymore'.
A lot of this is understanding psychology at it's base but it's really not that hard to see that if two characters are put in a vulnerable situation together it makes them bond. It makes them understand each other- and at the core of any romantic relationship, that's what two people should strive for shrugs.
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Also completely unrelated but I actually refuse to say that Pure Vanilla is a 'victim' of Shadow Milk NOT because I'm trying to invalidate his experiences- but because he's stronger than that.
Painting him as a victim under Shadow Milk in the spire always gave me the idea that he was helpless and a poor little 'lamb' lost and always scared. But he was never that way.
Accepting the deceit he had within himself turned him to Truthless Recluse but his INSISTANCE on 'not serving' Shadow Milk and his resolute determination to not show WEAKNESS was what made Shadow Milk LIKE him in the first place.
Shadow Milk takes pleasure in getting attention from the Recluse, but saying that PV in the spire was a helpless victim who just needed someone to 'save' him is a bit of a stretch in my humble opinion.
Straight up just praying that my writer's block will stay away long enough to finish this fic PLEASE GOD IT GOT SO FUCKING LONG WITHOUT ME EVEN NOTICING.,.,
I love the idea that some guy in Greece like a million years ago got writers inspiration and was so fucking impressed and excited that he thought it couldn't POSSIBLY just be the wonders of the human mind
So they created an entire god just to be the explanation for why they suddenly got the biggest autistic "EUREKA" moment ever
Sue me, I had more shit to say about this fic upon completing my second reread of it lmao.
This bridges off of my last post about this fic; the idea of what's real and what's not. Jambound does this superb job of luring the reader in with this sense of appealing to common fanfic tropes, and then- like crashing two cymbals together- shocking them back to reality by pointing out the obvious overdramatizations in what we all love to enjoy.
I think as a whole this already has a phenomenal impact on the actual narrative and emotional processing of this fic, but today we're not here to talk about that.
Today I'm here to really compliment the fact that making that distinction in writing is actually really hard to do. More so since you're already subjecting yourself to tropes from the get go.
This little section will talk about Archive of Our Own as a whole here. The culture of reading and writing fan fiction already submits the writer and the readers to the idea of appealing to tropes. Hurt/No Comfort; PWP; Coffee Shop AU; etc.
All of these tags, readers use to filter through their own preferences. All these tags, writers use to try and fit their fanfic into a box. This isn't to say that the use, labeling and consummation of these tropes is a bad thing. In fact, because fandom culture is the way that it is, these tropes are celebrated.
It's nice to take solace in the idea that yeah, "you know what damn it I LOVE the Found Family tag and I know that I'm in a community where no one will judge me for that sort of thing". Especially in this day and age where tropes are commonly looked down upon and scrutinized for being 'cringe' or redundant.
I find that when writers struggle to tag their fanfics, it's amusing because of course- as the creators of a written work we see the full picture. It's difficult to try and tag your fully thought out- beautiful work with a couple of common reoccurring events that happen in thousands of other fanfictions. As the writers ourselves, we value our work more than that.
It's this delicious concoction of "I feel like this might take away from the fullness of my work" and "but I do want people to at least have a summary of what I made" and "but I also want people to see my work, I'm proud of it".
Now luckily, it's not all bad- as fandom culture ALSO is; everyone is intelligent enough to realize that a fic that has a tag in it doesn't mean that's ALL the fic is. In fact, most of the time the fan fictions that are tagged tropes and succeed the way that they do- do so because they ARE more than just their tags.
Whiiich brings us all back to Jambound, and how it manages to actually NAIL this "more than the tags" concept I established here as well as the reality vs fantasy theme too.
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Writing characters is hard. Writing fanfiction is harder. Obviously this isn't rocket science, but it's difficult to create something from nothing, and in fanfiction- it's difficult because what ever fan fic writer strives to do (I hope) is write an already existing character as close to canon as possible.
In my last post I talked a little bit about this- the sort of "if I was in Pure Vanilla's shoes what would I do?" right. Because at the end of the day, our answers to those questions that we place in ourselves is HOW we write in the first place.
"What comes next?"
"What would Shadow Milk do?"
"How would Shadow Milk get out of this situation?"
"Would Pure Vanilla even go ALONG with this proposed solution?"
As I write my own fic, I find myself struggling to answer these. Going back, rereading over and over, rewatching the Beast Yeast stories to try and shape these wonderfully beautiful characters the best I can as the characters everyone has already fallen in love with.
Jambound is good for a myriad of reasons. Because it breaks expectations. Because it breaks free from the restraint of tropes.
Jambound is good because Pure Vanilla Cookie is Pure Vanilla Cookie. And Shadow Milk Cookie is Shadow Milk Cookie.
My writing process is hazardous to say the least but if there's one thing I can say with certainly that I want to nail, it's the characterization of the main stars of the show.
The more complex methods of success that Jambound has seen is due to it's characterization being accurate- to the point where it LITERALLY interferes with the plot itself.
Why does Jambound break the idea of fantasy vs reality? Because tropes are unrealistic. Real humans struggle to fit into the margins created through fanfiction tropes. Real CHARACTERS struggle to fit into those tropes.
By making Pure Vanilla himself, Black Raisin herself, even Shadow Milk, Dark Enchantress, the list goes on.
But especially making Shadownilla as close to canon as possible, in one fell swoop Jambound surprises the readers by breaking their expectation of their typical fanfic.
But wait you ask (probably not) why would the readers expect in the first place? What is a "typical fanfic"?
Look no further than the tags that rest above every chapter you read.
The beauty of it all is that by surpassing readers expectations from the TAGS THEMSELVES Jambound sets itself apart. And fandom culture, as stated before- eats that shit right up.
I certainly don't plan on having my personal projects reach this level of success, but I hope that by at the very least- my UNDERSTANDING of why fanfics like Jambound are so good to read- so satisfying and "just right", maybe I can at least get close to that level of writing haha.
I recently managed to download Jambound and put it on my kindle. After almost reading the whole thing in one sitting I found myself really asking: why is this fic so praised?
What made it so beautifully written, for the plot to impact the fandom in such a ironic way?
Here I'll discuss the nature of the reason why the story of Jambound relates to my personal experiences, and to what I'm sure is many lives out there on the internet.
(Obvious Spoiler Warnings)
The nature of Shadow Milk and Pure Vanilla's relationship strikes a couple of keynotes in my experience that make a fic "good".
One of the most beautiful fics, depicts what the readers want and crave, and takes that away by referencing the unrealistic expectations of such a thing. It's called fan fiction.
And at the end of the day, lots of dialogue exchanges, comfort, and even angst can sometimes dip into things that can quite literally seem unreal.
For example, how therapeutic is it to read a fic about your comfort character self harming, and to have another comfort them? How unrealistic does it feel when you read that fan fic to see a mental breakdown handled in such a beautiful way that makes you think "wow if someone said that to me everything would be so much better".
Unfortunately, fan fiction and the world of writing in general is unrealistic. For something to feel that perfect, it must be cultivated through the mind of another.
In the real world, when we are put in situations such like there are in fan fics and other fictional depictions we make our decisions based on spontaneous draws of our own personality.
As a person who attaches myself to Pure Vanilla as a character, every time I read his characterization in canon, and even in fanfic I think to myself: "What would I do in a situation like his? Would I make the same choices? Say the same words?"
Usually, the answer is no.
Sometimes- very occasionally, it's yes. And those moments make me perhaps feel some fleeting moment of pride. That yes, if someone like Shadow Milk was breaking down in my arms, talking about not being 'supposed' to feel real emotions, I would comfort him in the same way Pure Vanilla would.
The point is most of the time fictions are just that. Fictions. While the realistic depiction of things usually is a bittersweet sort of hurt and comfort all wrapped up in one hard to swallow package.
Fiction is a place to displace ourselves from that reality.
So when fiction breaks that expectation and starts decomposing what is realistic and what's not, it's ground breaking to us.
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With that out of the way, how does this apply to Jambound?
On it's own, the premise of Jambound depicts Shadow Milk, out of fear of being abandoned and left alone again, casting a spell that binds him and Pure Vanilla soul-wise.
Shadow Milk ends up choosing to stay at Pure Vanilla's castle in order to try and deal with this bond in an easier manner.
To me, this is the part of Jambound that draws not only the reader in but it plays with what fanfictions are prided on being. The 'trope' part of the fanfic.
This is the part where the slow burn happens, where Shadow Milk 'warms up' to being in Pure Vanilla's presence. As the two fall in love the readers want to see more.
Every plot twist, every connection the two share between their soul jams makes the reader squeal and run around. It makes their connection deeper.
Ideally, after they've truly reached the peak- the point where they exchange kisses on the regular, the point where everything is comfortable and domestic- this is where the fanfic would end.
Happily ever after, the fiction would keep this fantasy alive because that is what it's supposed to do.
Jambound takes this a step further, but tearing it all apart.
The connections and deep sickly love that the fic brings the readers to reveals the bittersweet truth we all know in the backs of our minds when reading.
In reality, this would be toxic.
It is unhealthy to spend all of your time with one person. To isolate yourself from all other types of communication. Even when speaking to others, all you can talk about is this singular other person. Everyone craves to be someone's first choice. This is what defines many of the people that get INTO fandoms in the first place.
The idea of having a hyper fixation already means that if you. The reader. Are reading Jambound, you have at least the understanding capable to process the longing of wanting another to pick YOU over anyone else.
Whenever something exciting happens, who do you go to share it with?
Your person.
The same way Shadow Milk craved that from Pure Vanilla.
But unfortunately, this is still a fictional want. In theory it sounds amazing, but in practice it's exhausting. Jambound addresses this and it's horribly relatable because on a very real note this type of unhealthy latching onto relationships happens in the real life much too often.
Or rather, this type of relationship happens much too often in the virtual world.
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Returning back to the idea that the readers of Jambound are probably a very specific flavor of neurodivergence, I can bet that at least half of them know/have experienced the idea of making a new online friend.
The sense of finding one person in a video game, talking to them in chat, and eventually texting them, sending them Tik Tok, etc. Every interaction is a thrill, you want to never stop talking to that person. They become the Shadow Milk or Pure Vanilla to each other and vice versa.
This is the trope part of the relationship just like Jambound. Silly interactions happen, you play games together, have good ideas, talk and have GOOD. TIMES.
You have your times in the markets, dancing in a ball, being proud of this person being your number one person.
But in the end, the reality is that it's exhausting to give everything to one person. There are some problems that reveal themselves that are only remedied by having a life disconnected from this bind.
Jambound does an excellent example of this by having Shadow Milk realize HE cast the binding spell in the first place and has to severe it.
Just like how coo-dependent online relationships are horribly draining and often times are only caused because someone's one or even both parties constantly instigate interactions.
The reality is that online relationships like those fall apart. There's blocking, ignoring for long moments of time, insisting on spending every waking moment together until there's an expectation and responsibility to pick THEM over everything.
People come to fiction to escape this.
So Jambound doing this sort of break and showing a codependent relationship failing is groundbreaking. Managing to compel such a baseline phenomenon to be communicated through Shadownilla makes the readers go insane. Because they KNOW what that's like.
They know that it has to end, and as the fic gets closer and closer to revealing that the bind that the readers had been enjoying so much is not realistic, the reader themselves already knew this to some degree. They already knew it was coming but only moments before it strikes them, just like it strikes Shadow Milk.
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And the coping of breaking such codependency is heart wrenching too. Because after the 'trope' stage of the fic, it's now comepltley realistic. To the point of showing the highs and lows of coping with breaking off such a codependent relationship.
Shadow Milk bed rotting for days and days on end, and realizing that the only reason he's aching is because all he can think of is Pure Vanilla. Shadow Milk leaving to distract himself by doing anything- anything at all to not think about him. For their own good.
Most people in real life get stuck at this stage. They can't hold out, and many people that are in codependent relationships don't realize that those distractions are good. That they aren't meant to 'fix' their pain. Their pain from being away from their codependent half is caused simply because of their own fixation.
Shadow Milk's pain is only caused because of his own fixation.
I think the part that strikes me the most is the fact that Jambound doesn't stop either.
It's a trend with fanfictions: stop at the fiction. Stop at the comfort, stop at the hurt/no comfort.
They don't show a realistic healing process, and why would they? No one wants to read about what already happens to them in real life. No one wants to read that- but yet. Somehow, it's all a lie isn't it?
How could Jambound as a fanfiction BREAK the fandom in such a way that the canon voice actors are aware of it?
It lures everyone in with the promise of being a fiction.
Hurts everyone by showing them how that fiction is unattainable and unrealistic.
But it also, shows how to heal and fix that.
Shadow Milk spending time with other cookies to try and pass the time he needs in order to break the bond is therapeutic to read.
I am a person, who problem solves. I am also a person who loves psychology and analyzing the semantics of human behavior.
People need others in their life. Not to fix a problem 'just like that'. But to remind themselves that there's more out there. The expansion of the world to more than one person.
The entire reason why the saying 'touch grass' became a thing was because when one person gets fixated on one thing for too long, their whole world is narrows down to that singular thing. Nothing else matters, and they physically become BLIND to the happenstances around them.
In the worst cases, they are aware but don't bother with trying to expand their options. To try and take a walk. To try and speak to friends when they are available. To give themselves a goal that is not associated with that fixation at all.
Shadow Milk is stronger than this. He loves Pure Vanilla in Jambound, he really does. He tries for the sake of their love to expand his options. And it's rewarded, because he himself describes feeling 'clearer than he has in days'.
Reading it in a fanfic definitely makes processing feelings easier. In real life, the muted realization that suddenly being away from your co-dependent half isn't so bad isn't as ground breaking.
But in the end, Jambound is still a fiction. It's still a bit overdramatized. Plus.
Shadow Milk is anything but a bad performer is he not? He'll always narrate things in his own special way, especially with the 'holy characterization' way Jamma writes him.
I find that sometimes, when fanfic does this- when it depicts such absolutely ground breaking heart wrenching scenarios, under the lens of a pair of characters I already understand to the fullest?
Archive, let me give this work of art another bookmark so help me.
So after rewatching Secrets of the Silver Kingdom and Theatre of Lies it occurred to me that a lot of Shadow Milk’s actions are like… actually crucially based on the idea that no one UNDERSTANDS him.
Like it’s clear that one of the undertones of his arc is loneliness’s but even the things that you wouldn’t normally attribute to lack of understanding can be traced back to Shadow Milk’s being used to the idea that no one WOULD figure out his plans.
When he was the Fount of Knoweldge no one could understand: his goals, his pain, not even his existence. Because he held knowledge of EVERYTHING so close to his soul how could anyone understand his conflict right?
So clearly the lack of companionship, lack of being understood, and in general being a VIRTUE was the cause of his fall. This sets up Shadow Milk’s expectations, and from a narrative/character analysis point of view this is actually super genius. The way character development happens and in general- major story events happen by setting up a norm and then disrupting it.
In this case I can appreciate this norm being set because it’s not even the main conflict. You really have to rewatch canon interactions at least twice to truly reflect and analyze what you missed before. It’s never outright related to “understanding” until you finish the Beacon of Truth episode and see the fated name of that last level: “The only one who Understands”.
Anyways, fast forward to the fiascos that happen in the Faerie Kingdom after the gang first travels to Beast Yeast.
I think from the very beginning it’s obvious that Shadow Milk and Pure Vanilla sharing a Soul Jam makes their connection very… complicated. And it’s the reason for all of Shadow Milk’s plans going off course.
His obviously enjoys tormenting Pure Vanilla through the reveal that the virtue of truth will “inevitably” turn into Deciet. He expects Pure Vanilla to react to this information with fear confusion and dread. And he’s delighted when he gets the reaction he wants.
However when he doesn’t get that it angers him. Why won’t Pure Vanilla “obey” him when he orders him to mess with the tree? Why does Pure Vanilla… understand his riddles? And answers them all correctly?
There was always this trend of cookies not understanding him, and so Shadow Milk’s designs his actions to BANK on that to get the reactions he desires. All three quiz questions he gives the group in the Faerie Kingdom bank on all of them not understanding the real question.
In fact, literally the first two questions gives the most clearest proof right here. I always wondered why did Shadow Milk nudge Pure Vanilla in the right direction here?
Well for a number of reasons, clearly. But his intrest from the get go is piqued. That Pure Vanilla out of all cookies answered his quiz question correctly, without help- without anything. Just instinct and logic.
And to see if he can play around with this cookie actually managing to play along with his games, I see his little nudge here not only as a method to try and play with Pure Vanilla's fears and paranoias but also... encouraging him.
Almost as if he's rooting for Pure Vanilla to see the truth- or rather- the deceit imbedded in the question and to answer it right, further seeing if this cookie could really understand the behind the scenes of the show he puts on.
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There was always. ALWAYS. One that subverted his expectations. The holder of his other half of the Soul Jam. I think Pure Vanilla holding onto that half, combined with his natural personality of course, literally changes the way he thinks. Makes him see past the deceit- makes him understand.
Which is why it’s so important that Shadow Milk becomes to attached to this behavior in the Spire. He’s not just attached to making Pure Vanilla fall- it’s deeper- he’s interested in seeing how by making Pure Vanilla understand on a Soul level who he is: Pure Vanilla will always do the unexpected.
He emerges from the Yogurt River of Rebirth. He cheats in the Chess Game. He STILL answers his nonsensical questions correctly. He turns his friends into tarot cards- he REJECTS living in Deciet forever.
While Pure Vanilla defying his expectations isn’t always to Shadow Milk’s benefit, and sometimes makes him genuinely angry there will always be that pull. That draws them closer together and makes Shadow Milk absolutely astounded that this half cookie has the capacity to weasel his way this close to his curiosity.
To some degree, Pure Vanilla always understood. It’s how he piqued Shadow Milk’s interests in the first place. The Spire of Deciet arc only increased that understanding. At first in the Faerie Kingdom, Pure Vanillas actions were just guided by instinct and logic. The Ancient’s world was governed by different priorities.
Stop Dark Enchantress, try to understand White Lily Cookie, protect Earthbread- protect the children he brought with him.
Answering Shadow Milk’s riddles was an obstacle, a stepping stone to the bigger goal.
But once he stepped foot in that Spire there immediately became a tightening in scope.
Suddenly nothing mattered except psychoanalyzing himself. Realizing that there is another cookie that is… “destined to be with him” having their fates intertwined.
I can’t imagine the jarring difference in mental state that must have took for Pure Vanilla. Such a drastic change of gears- it must have scared him out of his mind to some degree. That’s why I interpret that one line in the Spire of Deciet- “I’m getting closer to understanding the Beast and that fills me with self loathing” as Pure Vanilla being upset that he’s understanding his new purpose.
The entire arc as a whole introduced such another crucial factor that his defying of expectations is now not only guided by instinct, soul jam, and logic, but also by intent. He wants to understand Shadow Milk. He wants to take on this new task- once he ascends I can bet that now Pure Vanilla’s priorities have shifted too.
To add onto everything, understanding Shadow Milk Cookie became another thing to worry about.
And of course, as we established in the very beginning of this post- this is not something Shadow Milk is used to others doing for him. At all. Not at all.
To have someone try and understand him and being guided by nothing but what. Want? To genuinely have the intent to understand him?
Maybe there's more I want to say about this. Blinks innocently.
So not only is Shadow Milk obsessed with this idea of understanding, frustrated and intrigued when other cookies can/can't understand HIM- understand the nature of the power imbalance between witches and cookies right.
But he also lords the fact that HE above all other cookies understands this over others.
Especially when talking to Truthless Recluse, on the surface is just looks like he's tormenting him. Trying to make him feel less, and to flaunt how powerless Truthless Recluse feels.
But looking more closely there's those little nuggets that tell me exactly what Shadow Milk Cookie is looking for.
"Who wouldn't feel the same in your place"
"You refuse to admit your true emotions to me"
"There's a little spark of curiosity"
Shadow Milk isn't exactly beating Truthless into the ground by saying that he's embraced deceit and he's a failure. He's taking delight in the idea that somewhere deep down Pure Vanilla Cookie has the capability to understand him.
And as the previous cookie of knowledge, I think it's reasonable to assume that Shadow Milk Cookie is probably the most emotionally intelligent beast because of this.
How can you manipulate someone without understanding how they think? How lonely must you feel as an empath (?????) to understand on a SOUL level how someone feels.
Shadow Milk has never met another cookie that could understand his actions and beliefs before. In a twisted way, he loves the fact that there is something to cure that insatiable craving. And of course, because he still harbors that rancid HATE for Pure Vanilla- because he "stole his soul jam" it works out perfectly.
There's something so utterly poetic- so utterly THEATRICAL about the idea that the person you can loathe the most in the entirety of Earthbread to also have the same capacity of understanding as you- throughout all the emotions you could ever feel for them, you know that they will PANIC at the idea that they can be at the same level as you.
It really goes into all of that stuff that Shadow Milk was yapping about Pure Vanilla "following in his footsteps" and "BEING him". That identity shift and mind fuckery is exactly describing how intertwined Shadow Milk sees his and Pure Vanilla's souls are.
I think the funniest thing about the whole thing is that the same way Pure Vanilla denies this and lies about it- to the point of BECOMING Truthless Recluse. Shadow Milk lords the idea that while Pure Vanilla is in denial HE understands everything and because of that HE is better.
Acting as if he knows everything that can happen and WILL happen. Shadow Milk never thought about the idea that Pure Vanilla truly understanding him would cause him to see Shadow Milk's vulnerabilities.
He thought that 'becoming one' and all of that would result in PV never pushing or prodding about these things. EVEN THOUGH he knows PV's nature. He KNOWS that even as Truthless Recluse- a second cookie of deceit; it's not in PV's nature to hurt others (just like Shadow Milk lmfao??? it's always the big words not physical violence).
That's why this shit is so powerful when the arc ends. Not only did Truthless Recluse trick him. It's not even about the Soul Jam, Shadow Milk has to CLING to the Soul Jam as a reason to lash out.
Because Pure Vanilla surprised him. He did something that Shadow Milk didn't- couldn't POSSIBLY predict. And THAT pisses him off. Because Shadow Milk ALWAYS understands- he understands everything that can be and will be, he understands the who's what's when where's and how's.
He HAS to because he was the Fount of Knowledge and if there is one thing that wretched past version of himself could still contribute to his PRESENT self it's that omnipotent understanding and KNOWING of everything.
Being subverted by his other half directly undermines not only Shadow Milk's purpose but the Fount's as well. And Shadow Milk can pretend all he wants but that HURTS. He doesn't like that not one bit. So what's the only thing he can do?
He can't just scream at Pure Vanilla about not understanding ANYTHING and being wrong about EVERYTHING when there's other cookies around. He clings to the Soul Jam out of want yes but also as a cover.
Later, he VERY MUCH takes this out on Pure Vanilla after. He doesn't understand, he couldn't POSISBLY understand the gravity of everything he just ruined.
"You dare act like you know ME?!!!" because Pure Vanilla couldn't possibly understand the way he FUNDAMENTALLY went against everything Shadow Milk had built up for years and years and years.
So after rewatching Secrets of the Silver Kingdom and Theatre of Lies it occurred to me that a lot of Shadow Milk’s actions are like… actually crucially based on the idea that no one UNDERSTANDS him.
Like it’s clear that one of the undertones of his arc is loneliness’s but even the things that you wouldn’t normally attribute to lack of understanding can be traced back to Shadow Milk’s being used to the idea that no one WOULD figure out his plans.
When he was the Fount of Knoweldge no one could understand: his goals, his pain, not even his existence. Because he held knowledge of EVERYTHING so close to his soul how could anyone understand his conflict right?
So clearly the lack of companionship, lack of being understood, and in general being a VIRTUE was the cause of his fall. This sets up Shadow Milk’s expectations, and from a narrative/character analysis point of view this is actually super genius. The way character development happens and in general- major story events happen by setting up a norm and then disrupting it.
In this case I can appreciate this norm being set because it’s not even the main conflict. You really have to rewatch canon interactions at least twice to truly reflect and analyze what you missed before. It’s never outright related to “understanding” until you finish the Beacon of Truth episode and see the fated name of that last level: “The only one who Understands”.
Anyways, fast forward to the fiascos that happen in the Faerie Kingdom after the gang first travels to Beast Yeast.
I think from the very beginning it’s obvious that Shadow Milk and Pure Vanilla sharing a Soul Jam makes their connection very… complicated. And it’s the reason for all of Shadow Milk’s plans going off course.
His obviously enjoys tormenting Pure Vanilla through the reveal that the virtue of truth will “inevitably” turn into Deciet. He expects Pure Vanilla to react to this information with fear confusion and dread. And he’s delighted when he gets the reaction he wants.
However when he doesn’t get that it angers him. Why won’t Pure Vanilla “obey” him when he orders him to mess with the tree? Why does Pure Vanilla… understand his riddles? And answers them all correctly?
There was always this trend of cookies not understanding him, and so Shadow Milk’s designs his actions to BANK on that to get the reactions he desires. All three quiz questions he gives the group in the Faerie Kingdom bank on all of them not understanding the real question.
In fact, literally the first two questions gives the most clearest proof right here. I always wondered why did Shadow Milk nudge Pure Vanilla in the right direction here?
Well for a number of reasons, clearly. But his intrest from the get go is piqued. That Pure Vanilla out of all cookies answered his quiz question correctly, without help- without anything. Just instinct and logic.
And to see if he can play around with this cookie actually managing to play along with his games, I see his little nudge here not only as a method to try and play with Pure Vanilla's fears and paranoias but also... encouraging him.
Almost as if he's rooting for Pure Vanilla to see the truth- or rather- the deceit imbedded in the question and to answer it right, further seeing if this cookie could really understand the behind the scenes of the show he puts on.
-
There was always. ALWAYS. One that subverted his expectations. The holder of his other half of the Soul Jam. I think Pure Vanilla holding onto that half, combined with his natural personality of course, literally changes the way he thinks. Makes him see past the deceit- makes him understand.
Which is why it’s so important that Shadow Milk becomes to attached to this behavior in the Spire. He’s not just attached to making Pure Vanilla fall- it’s deeper- he’s interested in seeing how by making Pure Vanilla understand on a Soul level who he is: Pure Vanilla will always do the unexpected.
He emerges from the Yogurt River of Rebirth. He cheats in the Chess Game. He STILL answers his nonsensical questions correctly. He turns his friends into tarot cards- he REJECTS living in Deciet forever.
While Pure Vanilla defying his expectations isn’t always to Shadow Milk’s benefit, and sometimes makes him genuinely angry there will always be that pull. That draws them closer together and makes Shadow Milk absolutely astounded that this half cookie has the capacity to weasel his way this close to his curiosity.
To some degree, Pure Vanilla always understood. It’s how he piqued Shadow Milk’s interests in the first place. The Spire of Deciet arc only increased that understanding. At first in the Faerie Kingdom, Pure Vanillas actions were just guided by instinct and logic. The Ancient’s world was governed by different priorities.
Stop Dark Enchantress, try to understand White Lily Cookie, protect Earthbread- protect the children he brought with him.
Answering Shadow Milk’s riddles was an obstacle, a stepping stone to the bigger goal.
But once he stepped foot in that Spire there immediately became a tightening in scope.
Suddenly nothing mattered except psychoanalyzing himself. Realizing that there is another cookie that is… “destined to be with him” having their fates intertwined.
I can’t imagine the jarring difference in mental state that must have took for Pure Vanilla. Such a drastic change of gears- it must have scared him out of his mind to some degree. That’s why I interpret that one line in the Spire of Deciet- “I’m getting closer to understanding the Beast and that fills me with self loathing” as Pure Vanilla being upset that he’s understanding his new purpose.
The entire arc as a whole introduced such another crucial factor that his defying of expectations is now not only guided by instinct, soul jam, and logic, but also by intent. He wants to understand Shadow Milk. He wants to take on this new task- once he ascends I can bet that now Pure Vanilla’s priorities have shifted too.
To add onto everything, understanding Shadow Milk Cookie became another thing to worry about.
And of course, as we established in the very beginning of this post- this is not something Shadow Milk is used to others doing for him. At all. Not at all.
To have someone try and understand him and being guided by nothing but what. Want? To genuinely have the intent to understand him?
