03/05/20
I'm fearing. I am afraid that I won't ever have this after this. This isn't sexual or romantic. This is a cry for help. When you haven't had help before, when you think this moment may be your final chance to get it for once. Finally, a feeling of a father figure. Not a scary one. Not a disgusting one. Not an unreal one. It is exactly what you want and this is it but everyone will look down upon you, thinking that this 'father figure' thing is because you're a 'teenager and you have to like sex it wouldn't make any sense for you to not.'
All I have done is look for one. Anywhere, whether it be romantic or simply just a guy who happened to be around that makes me feel things I would have felt had my father been there when I was a child. After seeing all I have ever seen and wishing I had one still, I have come to the conclusion and acceptance that I will never get one.
As long as I have this man.
Just for a while.
