#erotophobia

[zilchmonophony]

i couldnt find any flags that fit me so i made some. um feel free to use them even though i doubt people will..Lowke

「 carnalsexual 」

a sexuality where romantic attraction does not exist or is lost unless they are attracted to them sexually. for hypersexual individuals only ˒

coined by me !

「 erotopistisace 」

asexual term where you feel sexual attraction, but if it is reciprocated it causes fear, disgust, or distrust, and may cause the individual to lose any attraction for the person in general ˓

coined by me !

[certifiedsexed]

How does something like erotophobia develop in someone who's never had sex? Also, are there subtypes of erotophobia? I'm only afraid of the actual act. I'm confused as to why I'm okay with fiction and animation but not IRL porn or people implying they want to have sex with me .

Well, you don't have to have any experience with something to have a phobia of it. Plenty of people have phobias of things they've never tried or even seen!

There's not really one concrete "reason" phobias form. Like, there's a lot of theorizing on it but there's no one reason, not even in a more specific context like that. I could offer theories but they'd be nothing more than that; theories, like Freudian style.

Like, there are studies on phobias and how sometimes they're connected to specific events, especially traumatic events but sometimes they don't have an obvious cause or connection to anything at all. So \_o_/ all this to say I don't know!

Also, there aren't like, DSM-5 subtypes as far as I know but that doesn't mean there aren't different ways it presents or different types. It just means it isn't in that fuckass book.

I'm not sure what "IRL porn" is, ngl. That could refer to several things but being okay with something in a completely fictional setting that you feel is separate from you is very common with fears and can include phobias!

For example, someone with a phobia of spiders might not read the word "spider" and go, "I'm in danger, oh my god" but they might still see a spider in a movie and go, "Oh, what the FUCK".

It just depends on the person and the setting! Different people, different ways a phobia can present, different scenarios. If that makes sense?

[rosemaryblossoms]

Welcome Home: Obsession Au

“What are they wearing?”PT.1

Author’s note: This is a post where I tell you the preferred clothing of the main characters of the au and it tells you a little bit about the character themselves. There is also a little trivia at the end about the characters. I hope you enjoy!

The Real Waleen “Wally”:

Waleen is a girl that prefers comfy clothes to the overly girly ones. As much as she loves the girly clothes, the only time she wears girly clothes is when she’s going out somewhere like a very nice restaurant and wants to look her very best there. She doesn’t really like to show a lot of skin besides her legs. The other only exceptions are her shoulders and the area above her cleavage and that’s it. This is because of not only her insecurities from all of the slut shaming her biological father and mother (who was jealous of Waleen’s figure) but also her Erotophobia. This can also be implied from her also mainly wearing one piece swimsuits.

Wally is asexual and besides not it being her thing, sex is really scary to her. Someone has to put something inside her body that can tear her open from the inside and they both have the risk of diseases while she has a risk of being pregnant? No thank you. It also doesn’t help with the way her biological parents explained it to her at the age of twelve when they caught her looking at porn to learn about it. Her main outfit (also favorite) she wears: An oversized Jean jacket with heart shaped buttons that say “Home Sweet Home” on it, a sleeveless beige turtleneck top, a silver simple diamond necklace and a raw amethyst necklace on a black strand under it, small silver hoop earrings, brown rider boots that stops at her mid calf, stacked silver rings on each finger (including one of them being a cat on her index finger), a short black skirt that goes above her knees, a cherry red head band that matches her painted nails, and a red hobo hand bag that has keychains: a red cherry one, a sitting Jiji from Kiki’s Delivery Service plush keychain, and a Hello Kitty head with a red bow. Her purse also has a Betty Boop Button on it. Her hair is usually fashioned in a ponytail with a pompadour (not as big as the original Wally’s but has his voice.)

Trivia (some):

1.) Her usual perfumes are “A Thousand Wishes” by Bath & Body Works and Bijou Sucré’s Sugared Pear.

2.) Her favorite thing with apples is an apple cinnamon pie with a scoop of vanilla ice cream at the top.

3.) Her favorite fruit is actually cherries and her main favorite color is beige.

4.) Her favorite body washes are: Cotton Candy Clouds (Bath & Body Works), Secret Wonderland (Bath & Body Works), and Black Orchid and Patchouli Oil body wash (Caress).

5.) She loves to knit.

[prettypupp]

"the thought of putting a tampon in or getting a pap smear terrifies me because i dont want anything going in there"

"you just need to learn your own body and be comfortable <3"

killing you with knives like caeser

[prettypuppxx]

"do you prefer tongue or fingers" id actually rather kill myself thanks

[pixiedoll2]

Tw // cocsa vent ,talks of sexual trauma , fear of sex and intimate activities

Okay so I might not be on the asexual spectrum

I might just be allo and have a horrible fear

Because I read smut and sometimes have fantasies and kinda feel sexual attraction.......but engaging in sexual activity, even online or thinking about have sex in real life gives me panic attacks ,even feeling turned on makes me distressed sometimes

Now I was repeatedly m0lested when I was a child and teen by my brother.....I won't go into detail about it but it really messed me up ...I have complex PTSD because of it and stuff

I was also taken advantage of online as a teen also ....I would do things to please others when I was scared to say no ...I was in several abusive online relationships with men when I was a teen ...a lot of them would get upset and coerce me into it if I showed any sign of discomfort .....

I still to this day have problems with saying no to people........

Anyways...the thought of ever having sex scares me ....I don't want to have sex even if I feel attraction.....I don't think I'll ever trust anyone enough to do that . It makes me feel horrible...like I won't be a good partner or that I'm useless or worthless .......

I don't know ....it's a very specific fear ...I don't ever really want to fix it either because I just don't want to go through the exposure therapy.....the fear of so bad I can't even finger myself or use tampons because I have a panic attack and I can't push it in ....I just can't......

I don't know.....I don't know if this is normal to have such a fear not wanting to get over it ..........I feel childish and immature...like there's something wrong with me .

( I want to specify that I'm not sex negative or anything......it makes me sad that I might not be able to go to certain pride events but that's a me problem to deal with , other people are allowed to do what they want . )

[failurefemmegf]

Vent of something I've had on my mind lately. Any advice is welcome.

tw: discussion of sex and sexuality, sexual trauma, kink

I don't have a healthy relationship with sex. Maybe I've never had, and maybe no one does.

First things first, I am in my early-mid twenties, and I am a virgin. The only shame I find in being a virgin is the shame that's be instilled in me by society. I am also sexually attracted to women.

I have been sexualized and exposed to sexuality from a very young age. I have unclear memories of CSA, along with some very strange memories with my sister when we were children. I won't go into detail on those.

I went through puberty earlier compared to my peers and developed breasts earlier than my peers. This lead to comments from the boys in my classes and body image issues I still struggle with, including gender dysphoria and body dysmorphia. When I attempted to vent my struggles online to women who I though could help me, I was instead sexualized and predated on by men, the attention of which I welcomed because I was a young, barely-teen girl.

I exposed myself to porn and misogynistic content against women from my early teens onwards. Kink, especially hard kink in fiction/fanfiction like rape, age gaps and pedophilia, and incest became a major part of my life from my teen years onwards. I was fascinated by these topics, and that fascination was encouraged by my peers. I engaged and consumed roleplay, fanfiction, and hentai on a daily basis. The entire basis of my sexuality seemed to be sculpted around sexual violence, and I feel lucky that I was never taken advantage of during this time.

I continued to be sexualized and pursued by men, especially my male friends since I struggled to make female friends (autism + niche interests + mental health issues). I welcomed male attention but I hated waiting for their attraction to become overt. I liked being pursued, hated being caught. Eventually this culminated in me being severely sexually harassed by one male friend in college, white-knighted by another male friend who proceeded to isolate me away from everyone else int he friend group, and then both of them dropped me when they realized I wasn't going to fuck them. I became actively suicidal and agoraphobic during that final semester of college, and fell back into fiction and hard kink to escape.

Now that I've become much more critical of the content I consume, and have begun to explore my sexuality as a lesbian, I find myself so lost. Any depictions of sex, especially sex with men, make me uncomfortable. I refuse to watch live-action porn for good reason, and drawn porn/hentai seems so alien to me now. I can't read erotica, as I find most erotica male-centric, whether that be because it's meant for straight women, or it's lesbian erotica written by men. And I can't fantasize anything because I don't knwo what a healthy sexual relationship looks like, and I'm so dissociated from my own body I can't imagine myself as a sexual being with agency.

I do crave intimacy. I just don't know what it looks like. I can't even imagine what it looks like. I cna't even talk about sex or pleasure without feeling a gnawing sense of guilt and shame. I feel like I went from drowning to dying of thirst (ha).

I don't know where to go from here.

[aroaceconfessions]

Sometimes I'm really glad to be ace bc I just can't stand the concept of getting pregnant. Seems like everyone says is "the best thing that could happen in your life" but in reality I had bad nightmares with being pregnant n giving birth. It fucking terrifies me since I was a kid. Sometimes I thought about having sex, but I get panicked with all the STD's, how I can get pregnant even with all the birth control methods, and then watching a thing growing /inside you/. It's just horrible to me, all of that. I'm happy that I don't have a need to have sex 24/7. No sex = not pregnant. It's a big win for me