#god creates things

[burning-britain-official]

God creates dogs

G: hey angel I have a new idea for an animal

A:Oh, you, what is it?

So I'm gonna make this fluffy adorable fluffy thing that humans are gonna have as pets

A: Off to a good start but how are you gonna ruin it?

G: so I'm gonna make like 16 breeds with their owners somehow psychicly knowing what breed it is the second they get them somehow and I'm gonna make them so unbelievable loud and annoying but also for some reason love feet

A: ... what?

G: also I'm gonna make it so that country China would eat dogs as a dish and so that Denmark will ask pet owners to give unwanted pets to zoos to feed the zoo animals.

A: Are you and Lucy having a competition of who can be worse?

[almostangrything]

Was watching PM Seymour's God Creates Things and

God=Mr. Krabs

Bartleby=Spongebob

Owen=Squidward

Thank you.

[golden-gospel-poet]

He made all that is come to be. 🌎 🌌

[ill-purple-your-nurple]

God creating Larry the Cucumber

God: Take a dildo.

Angel: sIR- YOU ARE CHRISTIANITY

God: DO IT.

Angel: o…okay. Is that all?

God: Now, give it a consciousness

Angel: WHAT- You know what? Fine. Done.

God: Make it teach children about me through song.

Angel: Are you a paedophile?

God: Also, make it a show where they’re all vegetables.

Angel: Is this Hell?

God: Name it Larry.

Angel: Fuck this, I’m joining Lucifer.

[galladegamer]

Remember the “god creates things” series?

Well, how about we create the “arceus creates pokemon” series?

[zeoumren]

God creating a human With ADHD: "now,give them the energy of A THOUSAND supernovas!"

Angel: "oh hey are they like a super her-"

God: "and Zero focus or outlet for all that energy. Also they get to pick from the grab bag of mental health issues when they are born."

Angel: "...why are you like this?"

[atheostic]

God: I’ve made a human.

Satan: You’ve ruined a perfectly good ape is what you’ve done. Look at it, it’s got anxiety.

[starlightmaven]

Be careful what you wish for!

Angel: The humans want to bring back major things from the 1920′s.

God: Do they, now?

Angel: Yep! So I say we bring back--

God: A Global Pandemic!

Angel: NO!