#good dialogue

[sakebytheriver]

'Please don't say Jewish things and then point to me'

[ahb-writes]

Book Review: 'The Apothecary Diaries' #2

The Apothecary Diaries #2 by Natsu Hyuuga, Touko Shino, Kevin Steinbach

coming of age

detective fiction

light novel

nobility

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Not two months into her formal employ of a maddeningly beautiful and frustratingly peevish eunuch, a certain skinny young woman finds herself ensnared in a typhoon of awkward recollections, filial piety, and near-death experiences.

THE APOTHECARY DIARIES v2 is very similar to, but also entirely altered from, it's predecessor. In the current volume, Maomao is less of a courtly detective among a sea of consorts and more of a cleaning maid who also happens to be a keen picker-and-saver of clues. Indeed, the young woman has moved from the rear palace to the outer court. And in her refreshed service as an assistant and cleaning-person to the effervescent Jinshi, Maomao's life isn't so bad. Now, if only random court officials could stop dying from fish poisoning, if only random military commanders with mysterious ties to Maomao's home could stop visiting at inconvenient times, and if only the highest royal consorts could stop calling on her to teach them new pillowing techniques. Life is rough for Maomao.

The novel's shift into Maomao's daily affairs feels a little too comfortable, considering the numerous, dramatic and innovative ways the young woman previously engaged the court. A new consort joins the rear palace, yes. An awkward request from Jinshi's colleague, yes. Repeat encounters with Lihaku, the local himbo ("dumb mutt"), yes. Fortunately, these various character relationships all add up. Readers would be wise to pay attention. The author saw fit to knit together several smaller stories into a greater, more compelling narrative. The book's inertia is very slow and gradual, but no less satisfying.

For example, the introduction of characters related to, or poking into, Maomao's past gives readers a glimpse into the world as viewed by this wily young apothecary. Growing up in the Verdigris House, Maomao's youth was not average, but she learned a lot and was surrounded by people who cared for her. Jinshi's curiosity nudges him in the direction of intuiting who the girl's father, either adoptive or biological, were or are, as well as the quality of their relationship.

Alas, how did the child of a brothel-woman become so remarkably knowledgeable? The answer is multifaceted, and none too kind to those willing to lend an ear. Maomao's mother and father are not unknown, but bringing their stories into the light is far from desirable.

Of its strengths, THE APOTHECARY DIARIES v2 is more focused and determined to tell a coherent story with meaningful, recurring characters. The shift from the rear palace to the outer palace is not permanent, thankfully, as all of the novel series' most compelling characters (consorts included), come from the rear palace. Further, distinguishing between the two palace places is an impossible task for western readers unfamiliar with the layout and politics of the period in question (or, plainly, those who don't have a map).

In any case, Maomao meets new characters (e.g., Suiren, 50-something lady-in-waiting, cleans Jinshi's office; Basan, an earnest soldier and Gaoshun's son) and reconnects with older characters (e.g., Meimei, older sister of the Verdigris House). The good news is that these new characters bring new challenges and new dynamics (e.g., Maomao must prove herself all over again). The bad news is that with strong new characters, readers can easily tell when a dedicated chapter-character is just a readymade plot contrivance (e.g., characters too nice for their own good are a bit too suspicious). But there are plenty of twists along the way. Readers learn quite a bit about the relationship between Gaoshun and Jinshi, for example. One might query: How long has Jinshi been a eunuch, and how/why was he forced into such a position in the first place?

This is a fun novel series. The drama is snappy but low-key, and the character relationships never feel particularly complicated unless the characters make them so.

Jinshi is prone to overreacting and taking insinuations way too seriously, but this is more of a comedy bit for reader indulgence than it is a burr of genre convention. Elsewhere, one of this author's most curious accomplishments is how they integrate characters with disabilities into the core narrative. Characters lacking education, characters with illness or disease, characters with physical wounds, characters living through trauma; it's all there. It's not all perfect (e.g., one remains disappointed Maomao's freckles are fake), but the author is clearly focused on calling attention to the diverse peoples that populate the most intriguing tales. Maomao, most notably, is likened to "a scrawny, befreckled chicken" (page 13), "a thoroughly freckled, spindly branch of a girl" (page 28) with a deformed pinky finger and multiple scars along her arms.

❯ ❯ Light-Novel Reviews

[off-color-darkrai]

Writing- Dialogue Tone Tests

When Writing anything, anything at all, one of the things I consider the hardest to get right is the Dialogue. I'm always worried about if what I, or my characters are saying actually fits the Tone I'm going for.

So here's some fun Tests you can use for that!

(Notably I didn't come up with the one to test Romance Dialogue, but I can't remember where I saw that one originally)

Romance: Imagine Danny DeVito saying the line. Is it creepy or weird now? It's bad writing.

Serious/Dramatic: Imagine Nicholas Cage saying the line. Does it sound completely ridiculous now? It's bad writing.

Comedy: Imagine Peter Cullen (Optimus Prime/Eeyore) saying the line. Is it no longer funny? It's bad writing.

Horror: Imagine Goofy playing the character saying the line. Is it still scary? If not it's bad writing.

Want to test it?

Romance-

Bad line: "I don't like sand, it's rough, and coarse, and gets into everything"

Good line: "You have bewitched me, body and Soul"

Serious/Dramatic-

Bad line: "And not just the men, but the women, and the children too!"

Good Line: "Instead, you come into my house on the day my daughter is to be married, and you uh ask me to do murder, for money."

Comedy-

Bad Line: "Do you know what happens to a toad when it's struck by lightning? The same thing that happens to everything else."

Good Line: "I'm gonna go home and sleep with my wife!"

Horror-

Bad Line: "They’re eating her, and then they’re gonna eat me! Oh my Gooooo[sh]!!!"

Good Line: "Vampires, real vampires, didn't nibble on the necks of nubile young virgins. They tore people to pieces and sucked the blood out of the chunks."

You can use these on movies too!

[mandaloria314]

Alex: "They can't keep you locked away forever."

Henry: "We really need to get you a book on English history."

[king-bert]

love reading a great fanfic

just. a really great fanfic.

[drbennedict-writingadvice]

Writing Tip #238

Writing good dialogue is often about economy. People don’t actually talk like they do in written dialogue, they’re rarely that precise. So good dialogue is about translating what someone would actually say into something a bit shorter and more precise. Neil Gaiman learned how to write good dialogue from his years as a journalist where he had to take recordings of interviews and turn them into something more readable and still believable. Think of dialogue in that way when you’re trying to write. It’s a process but you’ll get there.

[severalspoons]

Liveblog: Rewatching Trigun, Episode 9 (a Very Important episode)

This is where Wolfwood enters the story. TBH, I would’ve guessed he’d appear earlier. Anyway, I’ve been looking forward to this! Here we go!

-- “That is one heck of a well-prepared dead guy” lol

-- Wolfwood resting against the cross looks vaguely crucified. Oh, symbolism.

-- Could you possibly show any more of your chest, Wolfwood? ;) 

(Also, where does he get his razors and how can he afford them? Actually, same question goes for Vash, too).

-- Vash introducing himself in a silly fake-deep voice. Longest. Name. Ever. Like he’s trying to joke and impress Wolfwood at the same time. Pretty sure he’s flirting. He sounds ike a middle school child trying to talk to a crush, lol.

-- That’s quite a handshake. Would probably break a normal person’s hand.

-- OMG the way they’re laughing maniacally about the water is the best thing ever. 

It isn’t actually that funny, so I think this bit is supposed to stand in for a longer conversation where they’re joking around. 

-- Wolfwood’s voice sounds so blase when he’s talking about the orphanage. 

So we have Meryl guarding her feelings with anger and Wolfwood guarding them with distance/blocked emotions. The only one expressing their feelings in any sort of open way is Vash. In fact, he might be expressing too many feelings. Actually, even Vash doesn’t express deep and meaningful feelings, only momentary reactions to the situations around him, or oversharing about body needs (hunger, thirst, pain, needing the bathroom). He’s a great example of how to hide your feelings while looking like you’re sharing them openly.

-- Wolfwood and kids. Compare how he acts with these kids to how Vash was with Kaite last episode. Wolfwood is gentle and sweet, and literally gets down on their level <3. 

-- What are those food bars Wolfwood is sharing? They look like something astronauts would eat. Are they “lost technology?”

-- Wolfwood feeding the orphans. My heart!. No wonder Vash smiles so sweetly. I probably have the same look on my face right now. XD <3

-- Holy shit Wolfwood’s character analysis of Vash after knowing him for like 30 minutes. It’s perfect. Especially after starting out similarly to Meryl, being like, “this goofy guy can’t possibly be Vash the Stampede.” 

-- And then from that he launches into advertising like, “That’s this man’s opinion anyway...and THAT’S why we have this confessional!” “You really are good at your job, aren’t you?” Vash looks surprised and pissed off. I don’t blame him. He’s been wandering the world for many years, no one understands him and he probably feels so alone. Then someone gets him, but he doesn’t care, he’s just doing a bait and switch routine. Ouch.

-- I think Wolfwood probably did the confessional thing because he just got way too personal and was starting to feel uncomfortable and awkward. This was an excuse. Plausible deniability, if you will: “I’m just doing my job.”

-- “You would have gone anyway, wouldn’t you?” Awww

-- Why the f*** did the colonists of this planet make these giant mechanical spider-things? Of all the guards you could possibly make, why? ::asking the real questions::

-- The little girl whispering “how embarrassing” as the guys who were supposed to save her spin around in quicksand. Ahahahaha

-- These guys fight together really well. They move together really well. In other words, they have perfect chemistry. SO fun to watch.

-- “That’s no ordinary priest.” What/how much does Vash know?

-- Why does Wolfwood bother lying that he’s never used a gun? First of all, Vash just saw him shoot the mechanical spiders outside. Second of all, he’s about to shoot like someone who knows wtf he’s doing, realizing Vash will notice.

-- This episode is really playing up the similarities between Vash and Wolfwood. That surprised me because I remember Wolfwood as more of a foil. But it’s so cool to see Wolfwood at his best and kindest.

-- Wait, where’s the little girl?  Did Vash and Wolfwood even bring her back when they got out of the spaceship? Did they forget why they were out there in the first place?

-- OK, so the entire episode shows the similar values/chemistry/synchronous fighting/endless flirting of Vash and Wolfwood, and then just kind of abruptly pairs them off with the girls for the rest of the ride, for no apparent reason.  

-- Well, not quite no apparent reason. I don’t know how much Wolfwood likes Milly yet, but considering that the alternative is Meryl, I’d pick Milly, too. Lol, poor Vash is left to be tormented by her.

-- Haha, I love how Vash has learned to roll with Meryl’s diatribes and just sass her back.

-- Wolfwood falling asleep on Milly’s shoulder and Milly being a little embarrassed and then just going with it and falling asleep leaning on him herself, aww.

-- It takes four men to lift that cross out of the truck and toss it down to Wolfwood, who just catches it without his arms even sagging, as if it were nothing. No wonder he was dying, he lugged something that took 4 normal men to carry for 100 iles (the equivalent of miles), in the desert heat.

-- “It’s so heavy because it’s full of mercy” lol iconic

-- Wait, why is Wolfood leaving? I thought he had reasons to stay with them--wait, is that a spoiler?

-- Haha he says goodbye to Vash personally by name and then says goodbye to everyone else as a unit.

I’m going to fall asleep smiling now. Seeing them happy makes me happy.

[brokehayes]

the past where savannah tells brooke that hundreds of guys are going to trip over their tails trying to mean something to her :((((