Warnings: Swearing aaaand some more angst, sorry :3
Jaebum sat by himself in the kitchen, legs crossed under the table and eyebrows almost becoming one thanks to the frown adorning his face. His eyes were glued on the toasts he had cooked for breakfast as he listened to his own thoughts, the ones telling him that what he told you last night was probably a huge mistake. Feeling guilty for what was happening was definitely alright but what he couldn’t do was take his frustrations and anger out on Jackson and you, after all, you two didn’t know about his past with Jinyoung yet. Jaebum knew he should talk about it, if not with Jinyoung then with Jackson or you first but he was truly ashamed of what he did, of how he ended things with the other male and he feared being judged for it even when he knew he kind of deserved it.
The snores of his friends as background noise was starting to irritate him, when Jaebum was frustrated domestic sounds such as snoring, chewing, kissing or even laughing could turn his mood into a worse one, it had a name, something related to the brain that you once explained to him after investigating about it but now that you weren’t here he couldn’t remember the word for it.
“Did you sleep here?”
Youngjae’s husky yet sleepy tone forced Jaebum to abandon his thoughts for a second to pay attention to one of his most precious friends, maybe he was wrong but Jaebum saw as a good idea to talk about the issue with someone from outside, someone who wasn’t involved in this love circle that only seemed to be troubling the ones in them. Youngjae didn’t know about Jinyoung and his relationship either but he wouldn’t judge, the male wasn’t like that.
“Jackson kicked me out last night” Jaebum admitted, keeping his eyes down on the mug that was still filled with coffee which was slowly turning cold, as cold as his mood.
Youngjae understood right there why you had message him, asking for Jaebum, really early in the morning. The male didn’t understood how could you love two guys at the same time but he knew that as long as it made the three of you happy he wouldn’t say anything about it. The fact that you worried about one of the guys while you still had the other besides you, showed Youngjae that you genuinely cared about both of them equally.
“He did?” Youngjae poured himself some coffee, his eyes barely opened since he had jumped out of bed mere seconds ago. He turned around and approached the table, sitting on the chair that was across from Jaebum’s “What did you do?”
Jaebum looked up at his friend and sighed, shaking his head quietly “Why are you assuming I did something?”
“Apart from the fact that you were the one being kicked out, you have a ‘I fucked up pretty bad’ look on your face so tell me, what did you do?”
“I basically said our relationship wasn’t supposed to happen, that (Y/N) shouldn’t come to the tour because that would probably make everything worse between us and that we were a mess” Jaebum used the three things he regretted saying the most to resume the talk Jackson and him had when you were supposedly waiting for them in bed. He knew you too well and unfortunately, Jaebum knew deep down in his heart that you hadn’t listened to Jackson and stayed out of the bedroom to hear everything they talked about.
Youngjae sat there quietly, looking down at his coffee “Did you mean all those things?” He suddenly asked, breaking the silence between them “Because if you meant two out of those three things then you really shouldn’t be with them just because it sounds like you really don’t want to be in that kind of relationship anymore”
Jaebum felt a soft pain in his chest as soon as the thought of leaving Jackson and you was brought up, he didn’t want that “No, I was just stressed and while I understand what Jinyoung is saying I also-”
“I’m sorry but Jinyoung?” Youngjae’s question caught Jaebum’s attention once again, making the male frown as he waited for him to keep talking “What does he have to do with your relationship exactly?”
“What do you mean Youngjae?” Jaebum asked running his fingers through his hair, something that clearly said he was starting to become stressed.
“As far as I know you’re with (Y/N) and Jackson, right?” He asked taking a sip from his coffee, acting as if they were having the most casual conversation ever “Then why does his opinion matter so much to you?”
“You saw how he got with (Y/N)” Jaebum quickly replied, not even taking a second to think about what he was going to respond “He’s the only one not accepting what we’re doing, I genuinely expected all of you to be shocked but not to react his way” He took a deep breath before continuing “I know it’s dangerous for the whole group, I know it would turn our lives upside down if for some reason somebody finds out what we’re doing but I love them Youngjae with my whole heart, with my entire being...I know that if I let them go, it will be something that I’ll regret for my whole life”
“Then why didn’t you tell them the things you’re telling me right now? Why did you say the opposite to what they were expecting to hear?”
“I said the same words to somebody I had feelings for a long time ago” Jaebum admitted looking down to his hands “I was cold and way too scared to face the situation and make a decision taking into consideration the feelings he had for me” He leaned back against his chair quietly, staring at the ceiling “He used the same points I made back then when we broke up against me, how could I say he’s wrong when I was the one who came up with those ideas in the beginning? Wouldn’t it be too hypocritical of me?” He scoffed frustrated, looking at his mug trying to decipher his confusing feelings
“People change” Youngjae answered out of nowhere, suddenly breaking the tense silence that had settled between them “Our thoughts change, our feelings change” He looked at Jaebum and sighed, the mess he was in was one way too big for him to face it alone, it was overwhelming him, something that has never happened “Maybe you were too young to understand what was going on, what your feelings for that person were and before it became more confusing you just cut it off so now that you’re more mature and have found the right person...Well...People” He corrected himself with a small smile “You’re ready to face the risks a relationship brings” He reached out to pat his back, willing to give him some comfort that he was unconsciously seeking for “You can’t be blamed for loving someone, maybe you can be blamed for ending whatever you had with the previous person in a wrong way but not for the way you feel Jaebum”
Youngjae patted his back one last time before he stood up just right when, Jinyoung walked into the kitchen abruptly stopping on his steps when his eyes landed on Jaebum’s figure sitting by the table. He just needed to look at his face for a second to see all the evident signs of frustration and tiredness adorning his delicate features and even when he blamed himself for making Jaebum suffer a little, Jinyoung saw him sleeping at the dorms as some kind of victory, something that indicated he was one step further from you yet one closer to him.
Jinyoung couldn’t say he hated you, he just felt a slight dislike towards you. Not only you had stolen every single possibility Jinyoung might have had with Jaebum but it seemed like you needed two males to be perfectly happy. He saw you as someone greedy, someone arrogant hiding behind a cute yet adorable mask that only he could see through. The moment he found out about your relationship with his two mates Jinyoung knew he needed to make the others see you weren’t who you said you were and that you only were playing games with them.
“Morning” Youngjae said, looking at Jinyoung before his eyes landed back on Jaebum “Can I leave? Or will you attempt to murder him like Jackson did?” He asked with an eyebrow raised, seriously hesitating if he should leave the room.
“Too tired for that” Jaebum replied, still staring down at his coffee that had turned cold at this point, Jinyoung raised one of his eyebrows, looking at the male in front of him “He can’t talk if his dead and I need to sort this out, the sooner the better, thanks for talking with me Youngjae”
Youngjae nodded quietly, glancing at Jinyoung before finally leaving the kitchen, leaving Jaebum alone with the person he least wanted to see at the moment. It was not that he hated or disliked him, in fact, Jinyoung was a pretty important person for Jaebum, the male had been his best friend, bandmate, brother and you could even consider him his first love but now as he watched how he calmly prepared his coffee without a bit of regret after the chaos he had set in your relationship, Jaebum wondered if Jinyoung had turned into an absolute stranger.
“What do you want to talk about?” The male asked breaking the silence, leaning back against the counter with his eyes glued to Jaebum
“The weather” Jaebum responded sarcastically “Sit down Jinyoung, you and I need to solve some issues before this gets worse”
-------------------------------------------------------
By the time you opened one of your eyes Jackson had placed the hundreth kiss on your face, he was incredibly affectionate when he knew you probably weren’t feeling in a great mood and it wasn’t that you didn’t like it but giving into his kisses would make more complicated the plan you sorted out last night in your mind before going to sleep.
“Morning kitten” He whispered with a big, goofy smile on his face, leaning down again to press a kiss against your lips this time. When you closed your eyes and let out a quiet sigh, Jackson groaned, telling you in his baby language that he wanted affection and you weren’t giving it to him “I cooked breakfast” You curiously opened your eyes to look around, spotting a plate of pancakes on his legs awaiting to be eaten by you “So you open your eyes for food but not for me huh? You big traitor” Jackson reached out and started tickling your side.
He felt himself relaxing when the beautiful sound of your giggles started filling the room, last night when he kicked Jaebum out he had been worried as hell about everything. Jackson had threatened Jaebum to take you away from him without discussing it with you first, the last thing he wanted to do was making you feel as some kind of possession they both were fighting for but he wasn’t joking when he said he wouldn’t hesitate to take you away from him if Jaebum didn’t change his attitude.
“What can I say? Pancakes satisfy my stomach” You sighed jokingly, licking your lips when Jackson handed you the tray that had your breakfast on it. A plate of pancakes with chocolate syrup, orange juice and some coffee to wake you up even more.
“But I satisfy your pussy” Jackson’s sentence made you choke on the sip of coffee you were drinking, stealing some laughter from his lips and making a hard blush appear on your cheeks.
“Asshole” You muttered taking the first bite of pancakes, quietly moaning in delight at the delicious flavor. Jackson was a good cook when he wanted to be, if he didn’t feel like cooking and you forced him to he would find a way to accidentally setting your kitchen on fire. “Did you have breakfast already?” You asked looking at him, chewing with your mouth closed.
“Yeah” Jackson’s smiled faltered and your eyes were quick to notice that “I woke up kind of early and was too hungry to wait for my sleeping beauty” He leaned closer to you, giving a peck to your shoulder “I’m sorry baby” He was lying, you had noticed him constantly moving last night, he probably had trouble sleeping since Jaebum wasn’t there with the both of you. That’s how your relationship worked, if one of the three of you wasn’t there, the other two felt kind of fidgety.
“Do you know anything about Jae?” You decided to ask, this was not something you could keep putting off until it was inevitable since your relationship was in a risky place. “He didn’t sleep here in the end?” You knew he didn’t, after all, you had been the one texting Youngjae really early in the morning to make sure Jae got there safe and sound but you wanted Jackson to talk about it, you wanted to know how he felt after their argument last night.
Jackson shook his head, looking down at the blankets “He went back to the dorms to think by himself I guess” He muttered with a small shrug, the sadness in his eyes made you reach out and place your small hand on his muscular back, caressing his muscles slowly and softly in an attempt to sooth him “I want to be mad at him for what he said last night but I can’t, I’m just so worried about him and about this whole shitty situation”
“Hey everything will be alright soon, okay? You guys have to be strong” You muttered, leaning in to place a small kiss on his cheek.
Something in the words you said caught Jackson’s attention. Maybe it was the way you said them, the tone you used or even the words that you chose but in that moment Jackson couldn’t have known what you were saying, there was no way in this world for him to know what you were planning to do.
“How about we get dressed and head to the dorms to talk things out with Jaebum?” You asked looking at him hesitating, not knowing if he would accept your proposition or not, this would be just crucial for your plan.
“First breakfast, a little bit of cuddling, showers and then we go get some lunch for Jae and us, deal?” Jackson asked glancing back at you
“Deal”
-------------------------------------------------------
“I’m telling you Jinyoung, what we do isn’t your business, stop trying to destroy what we have”
Jaebum was tired of repeating the same sentences over and over again. He had spent around thirty minutes trying to explain Jinyoung why he couldn’t break up with Jackson and you but the other male didn’t want to admit it, he just didn’t want to lose his chances with Jaebum not realizing his behaviour was only frustrating the latter even more.
“I just don’t accept it Jaebum, your putting your careers in danger” Jinyoung insisted, noticing the deep menacing sigh that left the male’s lips.
“I won’t fucking care about my career if that means living without them” Jaebum was starting to swear which was a sign of him losing his cool and trust me when I say nobody should want to deal with a Jaebum that has lost his cool.
“I mean Jackson could stay but she has to get out of the picture, you’re only putting your reputation and hers in danger Jaebum”
Jaebum slammed his fist against the table as hard as he could and by the strength of the hit, it wouldn’t be a surprise if he ended up with one or two knuckles broken. He stood up, throwing his chair back against the wall and leaned on the table, staring into Jinyoung’s eyes. Jinyoung’s heart was beating so fast at the moment that he thought he would have a heart attack right there, Jackson had already punched him once so he wasn’t descarting the idea of Jaebum doing the same too.
“She’s staying in the fucking picture, it’s either with her or without us Jinyoung so you better grow accustomed to my relationship” Jaebum talked lowly which was way more threatening than when he shouted
Rage flowed through Jinyoung’s veins, he couldn’t believe what he was hearing, that he would still choose you after all “Then don’t be surprised if somebody accidentally exposes the three of you” He didn’t know where the threat came from, Jinyoung didn’t even know if he would do something like that but in that moment his mouth acted faster than his brain and he didn’t had a chance to stop it.
Jaebum smiled mad, frustrated and so so angry that he felt as he could kill his best friend with his own hands in that moment. Staring at his own hands, the male shook his head quietly before looking back up at Jinyoung “I would like to see you try Jinyoung” He mumbled, raising one of his hands to point at him “Pull us down and I swear to God, I swear on my own fucking life that you’ll drown with us”
“You’re not in a position to be threatening now Jaebum, careful” Jinyoung warned again, body tense “I told you to choose between her and GOT7”
“No, you’re making me choose between her and you and you just can’t accept that I would choose her over you every single time, every single chance I got because I love her and because what I felt for you died a long time ago”
Jaebum knew he might have been a bit harsh with his words but he was desperate to make Jinyoung snap out of whatever thought he was having about exposing the relationship, he needed Jinyoung to stop being childish and get over the situation like an adult would but instead Jinyoung only stood by the kitchen’s door looking at him with the most serious yet determined face he ever had.
“You made your decision” He said quietly, turning around to get out of the room “Never say I didn’t warn you”
-------------------------------------------------------
Jackson stepped out of the steamy bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist, he expected to find you laying on the bed all comfortable and ready to go but instead, he walked into an empty room.
He knew something was wrong as soon as he didn’t spot your stuff on the bedside table. “No, no, no, no this can’t be happening”
He walked deeper into the bedroom and started looking for you like a frantic man, like a father who had lost his child but everything had vanished, there were only a few clothes in your side of the wardrobe, your phone and wallet were nowhere to be found and your suitcase had vanished with you. His hands were shaking, his breathing turned irregular and his heart was pounding against his ribcage as his brain still tried to assimilate you weren’t there.
Maybe you were with Jaebum, yeah, you had to be with him.
When he reached out to grab his phone Jackson noticed the folded piece of paper on his side of the pillow, a quiet whimper escaped his lips, a sound that the guys would have made fun of because he sounded like a scared little girl but Jackson’s nightmare, losing you, was turning into a reality, something he thought it would never happen.
Sitting down on the mattress, the male unfolded the paper and his teary eyes quickly started scanning the words.
Don’t hate me for what I did but last night I came to the conclusion that this will be way easier for Jaebum and you if I’m not in the picture. Jinyoung made me realize how dangerous I was for your guys’ careers and as Jaebum said I really do not want to be the reason you guys throw away your dreams.
I love you with all my heart and soul and I will never ever forget the wonderful moments we lived together. Don’t search for me, don’t get in trouble.
Be there for each other and love each other as if I was still there. Be happy guys, do it for me.
I will love you forever.
Jackson crumpled the paper so hard that his knuckles turned white, he tossed the paper as far away as he could, finally allowing the tears to fall down his cheeks.
“She’s gone” He said out loud to himself, sobbing in a really, really quiet voice “She’s gone”
