Different
Pairing: Im Jaebum x female reader
Genre: angst / romance / soulmate au / fluff ending
Warnings: emotional angst, swearing, right person wrong time trope
Prompt: “I’ll sleep on the couch.” - #13 of Idea Starters
Word count: 4136
In all your years of existing, you assumed you would meet your soulmate in a romantic way. Bumping into one another on the street, the first snow cascading down as you looked into his or her eyes. Giggling as you step into get a coffee and crossing paths with your destined one in the line, their drink order being the same as yours. Being interviewed for a job, failing it, and then meeting your beloved in the same office so it’s not so much of a let-down.
You might have watched one too many romance movies in your life. You had dreamed about the grand gestures and the little ones equally. Even a meet-messy would be better than this.
“I’ll uh, I’ll sleep on the couch. Just for tonight,” you mumbled after taking one look at your cousin’s boyfriend who had opened the door.
Your heart was thudding so dangerously loud in your chest that you knew he had to hear it from where he stood still stunned in the doorway. By some miracle, you had dashed inside the house and over to said couch in the living room, placing your luggage down beside it before you moved to the bathroom down the hallway and promptly locked the door.
Not only had today been the worst day of all days, but you had also gotten stuck in the downpour as you packed a suitcase of your belongings and left your apartment in a rush. You had texted Zara earlier about your predicament, and she had offered you to stay at hers until you were back on your feet again. Your cousin had mentioned she was away for the weekend with work, but her boyfriend Jaebum would be home, and she’d tell him that you were coming over to stay.
It all had started to sound like things were getting better.
Boy, had you been wrong. As soon as the door swung open, you felt the immense rush of your soul pushing to the surface, your eyes widening as you took the man in before you. His eyes connected with yours in the same incredulous way yours were, his mouth falling ajar.
He was your soulmate.
And he was dating your cousin.
The gentle knock on the bathroom door jolted you away from sagging against it, your wild stare turning on the wooden barrier. You had come in here to hide. Sure, it made sense that you took a shower, given how frozen your body had been from the soaked clothes. Now, you were too numb to register the chill on your skin, your mind reeling from your soul’s discovery.
“Are you okay?” he asked tentatively, and you clamped your eyes shut as a lump formed in your throat.
You didn’t want to cry. Not again.
You didn’t answer him, listening intently to the sounds on the other side of the door. There were no retreating footsteps. Instead, you heard a barely breathed out curse and then his body sliding heavily to the ground on the opposite side of the door.
Slowly, you mirrored the action, curling up with your forehead pressed onto your knees.
“You’re Zara’s cousin,” he stated, his husky voice causing you to hold your breath for a moment in its wake.
You wished to be anywhere but here.
Could you find somewhere else to stay? Your best friend had just moved back home, but her bedroom floor would be a better place to crash instead of here. Heck, you’d rather use your savings and rent a motel room than remain in this situation.
Jarringly, you got to your feet and swung open the door, Jaebum scrambling up in the process.
You both stared at one another wordlessly.
He wasn’t your typical choice in men, but he was handsome. Dark hair fell into brown cat-like eyes. Your gaze followed down the slope of his nose to his plush mouth, lips slightly parted as he sucked in a shaky breath. He had the shadow of stubble forming on his jaw, and a set of broad shoulders and defined chest meet your trail down his body. He wasn’t overly thick in frame, but you could tell he was strong. He wore baggy clothing that hid the definition of his lower half, and his feet were bare. You stared at them for some time, unable to lift your focus back up to his face.
You needed to get out of here.
“I’ll find somewhere else to go.”
“No,” he answered, his hand reaching out to grip your wrist as you attempted to skirt around the doorframe.
Again, your attention jolted back to his eyes, the surge of electricity beneath your skin thrumming where he held you. It began to burn, and just as quickly as he held on to you, did he let go, his dark eyes pleading for you to stay put.
“I think we need to talk.”
“There’s nothing to talk about,” you whispered back, blinking away from the hurt that immediately rose within his eyes.
“Right. Because discovering your soulmate is an everyday occurrence,” he bit back, clearing his throat after dropping another curse between you.
Your emotions were rising steadily, and you swiped angrily at your tears before they could fall down your face. “You’re Zara’s boyfriend.”
“Yes.” He sounded tortured as he pushed the word through his lips, and you peeked at him through the side of your eye. “But I… I mean… we’re…”
“Strangers.”
“Soulmates,” he corrected more boldly, capturing you again. Steely resolve met your cautious glance, and he swallowed deeply. “Shit. This… this wasn’t supposed to happen like this.”
“No. But I suppose we’re not the first people to face a less than ideal match.”
“Less than ideal… you mean meeting, not match.”
You laughed hollowly. “Sure.”
“I don’t meet your stand—”
“You’re dating Zara,” you repeated, finally finding the courage needed to duck away from the man. You felt your soul lurch backwards for him as you stalked quickly to the living room.
Jaebum’s hand was on your suitcase before you could reach it. “Let’s not be hasty, Y/N.”
A simple gasp left you at his use of your name, your heart racing into overdrive.
This was pure torture. The universe sure knew how to play a sick joke.
“I’m going to go.”
“You’re soaked through. Have a shower. Crash here. I’ll go to my friend’s house. Zar—your cousin mentioned you have no place to go right now after your landlord kicked you out unfairly.”
God, could this day get any more humiliating?
“I’ll go to my friend Jackson’s house,” he offered again, and your round eyes investigated his. There were too many emotions swirling in his eyes, too many tugs at your heart to understand each one.
You had known that soulmates were connected in many ways, but you hadn’t expected the force to be this immediate. This powerful.
“Please,” he whispered, and you closed your eyes, nodding once. “Thank you.”
Letting go of your luggage, Jaebum backed off a step, shaking his head softly as he continued to stare at you. “I’m sorry.”
“For?”
“Hurting you further today,” he replied, and you sucked in your bottom lip, teeth clamping down on it in hopes to distract the tears threatening to spill again.
Nodding again, you retreated to the bathroom, locked the door and sat down heavily on the side of the bathtub.
No gesture – grand or small, could make this right.
Jaebum was gone by the time you finished your shower. There was a simple note on top of your luggage, telling you to remain here, to help yourself to the food in the kitchen, and ended with a phone number.
Presumably his.
You managed to swallow down some food, though you didn’t taste it, and turned on the TV even when you couldn’t focus on it. Throughout the night, you tossed and turned. It wasn’t because the couch was uncomfortable.
You couldn’t get Jaebum out of your head.
As the hours slipped by, so did some of your remaining sanity. You went through erratic mood swings, waking up to think about how gorgeous he was, only to fitfully sleep for half an hour more and condemn yourself for finding him attractive. When morning arrived, you were still unprepared to deal with any of this.
Especially when Jaebum reappeared.
“I uh, I got us some breakfast,” he announced as you stared back at him in alarm. His movements were slow, precise, as if you were a frightened animal ready to take flight at the slightest wrong move. You watched as he placed a tray of beverages and a takeout bag on the dining table near the entrance of the kitchen.
Jaebum then swung around, leaning against the table, and looked at you. Once again, you were stuck staring at this man. This morning he looked worse than yesterday. Shadows had formed under his eyes, indicating that he had had just as little rest as you had. Your fingers itched to run over the purple marks, and you closed your hands into fists until your nails dug into your palms.
“Are you hungry?”
“A little,” you confessed, and Jaebum nodded, turning back to the food and began pulling it out of the bag.
You wandered over to him on shaky legs, trying to peer over his shoulder at what he had gotten. You stumbled, and Jaebum was quick to reach out and right you, his hands trembling against the curve of your waist. “You okay?”
“I’m fine.”
Letting you go, Jaebum looked at the food he’d gotten. “I didn’t really know what you liked or didn’t, so I got a few options. Drinks too. I got coffee and juice. What do you prefer? I could go out and get something else if it’s—”
“I’m fine with what’s here. Thank you.”
Breakfast was challenging. You both kept attempting to stare at the other whilst forcing food and drink through your mouths. You watched how he opened things and what hand he used most, smiling softly without realising it.
“You’re left-handed.”
Jaebum stilled for a moment. He then looked up at you, hope etched into expression. “Yeah, I am. Are you left-handed too?
“No, but I’ve always strangely found it attractive,” you admitted and then bit your lip when you realised what you had said. “Oh… uh, well, I mean—”
“Attractive how?”
“I meant different,” you offered, and Jaebum’s lips curled up a little. You groaned inwardly.
“Well, I guess being left-handed is different.”
“You’re going to annoy me over that, aren’t you?”
Jaebum grinned. “Maybe.”
“Stop!” you chimed, and he laughed heartily. Your mouth fell ajar, now mesmerised by the sound.
Jaebum noticed and cleared his throat awkwardly, rubbing a palm over the nape of his neck.
You darted your attention back to your food, cursing the momentary lapse in control.
“We should talk,” he mentioned after the silence stretched uncomfortably between you, and you shook your head. “Y/N.”
“Jaebum,” you countered, watching how he reacted to you saying his name. Such a strange thing for the soul to rush forward to, you thought. Then again, it was part of your identity, and you assumed all souls craved that type of understanding from the connection.
“We’re adults,” he pointed out gruffly, pinning you with a stare. “We can discuss this. Avoidance isn’t going to stop me from…”
“From?”
“Wanting to know you,” he replied eventually, no doubt having to change the words he was originally going to say.
You looked down at your remaining food, no longer hungry. The immense level of guilt you had struggled with all night consumed you again, and you huffed out a short breath. “I think it’s best that we don’t get to know one another.”
“And deny ourselves the bond?!” Jaebum asked you, disbelief and hurt flooding his tone. “Y/N, what we have is—”
“Nothing,” you interjected, smiling forcibly. “Listen. I get it. Believe me, I do. But this isn’t a situation I want to be in. Zara is one of my friends. We’re cousins, but she’s also been there for me when my life has seen hardship and happiness. And vice versa. I don’t know how you feel about her, but I know what she thinks about you—” You cut off with a choked sob, diverting your gaze from him.
The endless phone calls. The coffee dates. Zara had been smitten with Jaebum from the first time she laid eyes on him.
“I know we all have a soulmate out there, Y/N. But I wouldn’t even care if mine never turned up. I know I’ll always want him. Jaebum is… he is everything to me.”
“I care about Zara too,” he murmured, sounding broken. You didn’t dare look at him, not wanting your heart to betray the loosely forming resolve of your mind. “This is a fucking nightmare.”
“Yeah. But it’s okay because there’s only one answer.”
“No, Y/N, there’s not.”
You finally looked at him and his expression crushed your soul. “I won’t be the person who steps on my cousin’s happiness. Even if I know that you and I are connected in some way. And I won’t allow you to leave her for me either. We just need to accept this is how it’ll be, Jaebum.”
“Y/N,” he growled as you stood up and shot him another weak smile.
“Thank you for letting me stay here last night. I’ll go stay with my best friend instead. I hope you have enough sense to not break my cousin’s heart. She’s an amazing person, and she thinks the world of you.”
And with that, you reached for your suitcase and wheeled it to the exit, this time Jaebum didn’t stop your escape.
“Y/N!” Zara crooned when she saw you waiting for her, dashing over to you and hugging you tightly. “It’s been so long since I’ve seen you in person! How dare you be a stranger like this!”
“Sorry, Zar,” you replied, smiling back at her infectious energy. “I’ve been busy.”
“Too busy for your little old cousin? Pfft!”
Six months had passed since you had met Jaebum. Six months of imagining what could have happened if you hadn’t chosen to walk away. Could you have been friends with him? At least then you would have known what he was up to.
Having found your soulmate made you deeply curious about him. Mostly about how Jaebum coped without you.
Of course, you had heard about him from Zara. She had remained oblivious, thankfully, more disappointed that you had chosen to take up residence elsewhere than with her. She had owed you from when she had crashed at your place, so she had insisted until it was all forgotten about and life had moved on.
You now saw your life as a series of before and after. Life after Jaebum sure was different than before.
The struggles hadn’t lasted as long as they felt they would. Your landlord was fined by the tenancy tribunal after you contacted for advice, and you were rewarded your bond back and compensation. That allowed you to secure a new apartment, and with that, you found yourself lucky to see a job opening for a manager at the bookstore underneath your home. Now, you had more than enough money in your savings, a future that was stable, and you hadn’t needed to crash on anyone’s couch again.
Especially Zara’s.
“I have big news to tell you!” your cousin exclaimed, giggling giddily. You watched her with interest, your observation of her appearance halting on her left hand. Zara noticed your acknowledgement of the sparkly gem on her finger and thrust it into your face. “I’m getting married!”
All the warmth withdrew from your body. A loud buzzing began to build until you couldn’t hear a word Zara was saying, and you had slouched back into your chair as oxygen began to feel difficult to obtain.
Zara was marrying your soulmate.
“Y/N. Y/N?! Are you listening?”
“Oh,” you managed, not even attempting to smile. “That’s great news.”
“I know. I mean, I’ve always wanted to be married before thirty, and here I am, getting to do just that. Louis and I will be getting married next year, though, so I suppose I’ll end out my twenties as—”
“Louis?” you cut in with a sharp tone, leaning across the table at the woman. “What are you talking about?”
“I knew you weren’t listening! I told you, I met my soulmate, Y/N. His name is Louis Grant.”
“When? I thought you were with Jaebum.”
“A month ago. We crossed paths at a work convention, and the connection was instantaneous. I went home that weekend and told Jaebum that I’d met my soulmate, and I wanted to pursue things with him instead.”
“You did what?” you breathed out, equal measures of relief and disgust roiling through you.
All this time, you had chosen your cousin over Jaebum. Over your soulmate. And Zara had dropped him as soon as she had found Louis.
“Jaebum was rather understanding. I think he’s met his soulmate already. I told him I was honoured he stayed with me all this time out of loyalty. I think his soulmate didn’t choose him. Poor guy.”
“She couldn’t,” you replied, and Zara frowned momentarily before gushing again about Louis.
You barely paid attention. Your mind was stuck on the man you had met six months ago. The one who had pleaded with you to stay, to listen, to figure another option.
Jaebum had been crushed by two women in this family now.
“Did Jaebum move out?” you blurted out, interrupting Zara a second time.
She gave you a concerned look. “No. We were both on the lease, so I left it to him. I moved in with Louis. Are you okay, Y/N?”
“No. Actually, I’ve got to go. Congratulations on your engagement and finding your soulmate, Zara,” you announced, grabbing your bag and scratching back your chair from the table.
You had to go find your soulmate now.
You hesitated in front of the door, wondering if you should just leave and pretend you didn’t know anything. Jaebum hadn’t once asked Zara for your number, and whilst you had kept his, you didn’t dare save it into your phone, let alone dial it. For all you knew, Jaebum might want to wash his hands entirely of both cousins.
Still, there was yearning there. You wanted to reach out for his hand.
This time it wouldn’t hurt anyone to do so either.
“Are you going to knock or just stand there?” a voice asked from behind you after another fifteen minutes staring at the front door, and you whipped around so fast that you lost your balance.
Warm hands reached for your waist to right you, just as they once had months prior. They trembled against your skin, though Jaebum didn’t remove them, staring down at you in a daze.
He’d cut his hair. It was the first you noticed as you soaked him in, unable to stop your hand from stretching up into his black locks. Jaebum leaned into your touch, and you smiled gently.
He didn’t want you to leave this time.
“We need to talk,” he murmured, and you laughed as you nodded.
“That seems to be your favourite sentence, Jaebum.”
He groaned. “Say it again.”
“Your favourite sentence?” you teased, and Jaebum’s grip burned hotter against your side. “Jaebum. My soulmate.”
“My soulmate,” he echoed, shunting you towards the front door. You eyed him warily, and he smirked. “Listen, the reason I say that sentence so often in your company is that you’re so eager to disappear on me. And this time, that’s not happening.”
“No?”
“You’re on my doorstep,” he reminded, and you laughed. Jaebum stopped attempting to unlock his door, instead caged you against it.
“I can’t believe you’re here,” he whispered, closing the gap between you both a little, now breathing in the same air. His cologne was woodsy and musk, and you inhaled deeply.
“I thought you wanted to talk.”
“Oh, we have plenty to talk about, but there’s only one thing I want to ask you right now, “he murmured, lips now dangerously close to you. Your heart was a beacon calling out to his, and your hand slipped onto his chest, feeling the answering thud of his back. Jaebum smiled. “Can I kiss you?”
You pressed your lips to his in response, your mind imploding in the process.
You had kissed before but never had you felt like this. As if you were slotting against a puzzle piece that was made to be next to you. His mouth was the perfect fit, and as Jaebum’s tongue begged entrance to greet yours, you each let out a moan at how amazing this felt.
It was as if you had been dying of thirst all this time, and now his kisses were your salvation.
Eventually, Jaebum pulled back after nipping your bottom lip, each of you breathless and gripping the other tightly. You watched as he took you in again, a slight shake of his head in wonderment. You cupped his cheek within your hand. “I’m sorry I walked away all those months ago.”
“I’m not,” he answered, finally turning the key in the door. It opened and he guided you backwards into the entryway wall, shutting the door behind you both before he ran his hand down your side affectionately. “I missed you like crazy. Which is odd, right? We had one day.”
“Not even a whole day,” you corrected, and Jaebum groaned at the words.
“Not even a whole day with you, and you broke me somehow. But I didn’t want to hurt Zara either. You were right. It was a less than ideal—”
“Meeting, not match,” you supplied before he could, and Jaebum grinned.
“I didn’t just stick it out with Zara. I was committed to her. And I figured if we were meant to be, something would make that happen. I respected your decision to walk away from me. You were showing more strength than I was in that moment.”
“I didn’t want to hurt either of you,” you admitted, your thumb running over the side of his face gently. It was strange how natural it felt to touch him.
Even though you had been aghast with Zara’s reaction to her soulmate earlier, you could understand it a little. There was something about Jaebum that made you know you couldn’t be with anyone else like this. He made you feel fully alive.
“It sounds awful, but when Zara came home and explained she met her match, I was relieved. Even more so when she explained she hadn’t given in to her desires before telling me the truth. So, I told her the truth too.”
You blinked. “You what?”
“I told her that you’re my soulmate, Y/N,” Jaebum announced, and you frowned. He reached to smooth your forehead out. “She was surprised and annoyed with both of us.”
“Annoyed?”
Jaebum chuckled. “She told me that we should have told her, and she would have accepted.”
“Why didn’t she tell me? Or come and see me earlier than now? She’s been with Louis for a month!”
“I told her not to.”
You gaped at him. “Jaebum! I came here as soon as I knew. I didn’t waste another—”
He kissed you then, soft and sensual. When he finally pulled back, Jaebum smiled. “I asked her not to. Believe it or not, I did get dumped, you know. I had some things I needed to clear out from my life. Chapters to close type of thing. I wanted to make sure that when I approached you again, and believe me, I was preparing to, that you’d have no reason to walk away from me. That you’d find nothing but the ideal match in me.”
“I almost can’t hate you for that,” you confessed with a sob-laugh, burying yourself into his chest. Jaebum held you tightly and laughed too, running his hand up and down your spine.
“Don’t hate me. You can’t.”
“I don’t think it’s possible to,” you admitted into his chest and felt his lips on your head. “But Jaebum?”
“Yeah?”
You pulled back and smiled at him. “I think it’s time you and I have a talk, don’t you?”
Laughing heartily, he reached for your hand and pulled you further into his home. “First, let’s eat a meal together. You can tell me all about how attractive I am for being left-handed again.”
“I meant different!” you exclaimed, grinning as he laughed yet again.
“Well, let me show you just how different I am from all the other people you’ve ever met.”
You couldn’t wait for him to do just that.
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