#graduation thoughts

[seaweedbrain404]

i got my yearbook today and i had completely forgotten that the quote i picked was a percy jackson quote, nevertheless i’m still super happy with it.

for reference the quote i picked was from the lightning thief: “if my life is going to mean anything, i have to live it myself”

[kamalu]

Classes start for me soon.

This will be the last semester before I get my first degree. Well technically a ged is a degree Isnt it? Or is it not? I got no idea. So it’ll be two years since I’ve planned for myself. What that plan was?

Well I told myself roughly a year and half ago. I’m going to heal, move on and become who I’ve always imagined myself to be. I’ve wanted to become kinder,softer and loving this life I’ve been given.I’ve wanted to read more, love more and appreciate more. Exercise more, sing more, eat more fruit, try more things, love more. Change my mindset. Often I dwell on what I didn’t have and forget I’ve had so much. Maybe, nobodies in my life because I’m getting new people in my life soon? I think about that sometimes.

I’ve wanted to accept responsibility for who I have been and how I have acted. I still make consistent mistakes. I’m a notorious fuck up and a bit of an asshole. I even still make fuck ups each day. I’m not perfect by no means. I like myself more than ever. I wanna give myself more love than ever and things I do I want them to get more love. I don’t think my plan will be overall finished in 5 months. But I think a huge weight will be off my shoulders.

I’ll feel more inclined to be seen, I won’t be embarrassed of just existing. I feel like I can return to being somebody in the world or come into the world as my own finally. It’s taken me time. It’s taken me working hard, rethinking myself and who I am to others. I have an idea of myself, I fantasize myself in my mind so often. I want a lot for me. I want to give it all to myself. I’m proud of myself for not becoming bitter, for letting go of a lot of hurt. Even when I feel wrought with love sickness I find myself happy I feel so deeply. I used to think my emotions were a curse. Now I sit and watch them and find myself so interested in them and myself. As I watch myself I love myself more and more.

Graduating will mean so much to me, walking into my first day at SAIC will mean so much to me. I used to think I wasn’t worth much. It’ll mean so much to finally own a king sized bed ( only had a queen ) I won’t have much but I’ll have all the work and knowing I can follow through. I haven’t been perfect but I’ve always done my best. I’ve always tried to do my best.

I can’t wait to see where I’m at 5 months from now.

[mrs-antilles]

Sometimes I feel like I'm Doing Something but then I remember that dinosaurs once roamed where I currently am and now I feel small

[scribblerofeverything]

What if we are all just molecules haphazardly bumping into each other? People you meet happen by chance, and if you’re lucky enough, you’ll form bonds. But bonds break and people leave. You’re left to move forward, or backwards, or sideways. Somewhere along the line, you wonder if anything is ever permanent.

[wumbologiist]

omg i have to make friends and find a community again next year 

but like i just found a good one this year

and what if i don't find a good one?

the one i have is so good tho

blegh

[lesbomancer]

Four years happened so quickly. I have so many feelings about everything that’s happened and I was so happy at graduation today, but that joy is tempered by a lot of other emotions. It took me so long to find some kind of stability in my life and now that I have it (sort of, and only for a little while) I have a different perspective on a lot of the stuff that happened. I drifted away from some people, including someone I used to call a best friend (but that’s okay, because it was a mutual drift and I do not resent growing apart). I think I need more than just these two hands and ten fingers to count the people I’ve hurt and the times I’ve hurt them and I am not proud of that and never will be. I regret that we don’t live in a perfect world where hurt is necessary. I’m scared of what I am capable of and the life I could possibly live with those capabilities but I know better, I think, than to act on those things. I saw a lot of people walk today that I used to be close to in freshman year, and I smiled and cheered for them because even if I don’t necessarily talk to them anymore, make an effort to hang out, or even really like them--well, you know. For old time’s sake. The friendships I’ve made in freshman year completely dissolved or, in one case, detonated but I’m pretty okay with it. I’m okay with a lot of things that have happened, surprisingly. I accepted and forgave Evelina for what she did and I have a civil sort of “I see what you’re doing there and I respect it and am glad you’re happy” rapport with her. I’m pretty sure I have a drinking problem and that unless I’m extremely careful I probably shouldn’t drink, at all, ever. I forgive and more or less accept my high school ex because I tried to fuck her over just as often as she did to me, and again that has dissolved in to a sort of civil, arms-length deal. I get that some things will never heal, be accepted, or forgiven and that no one, not even me, can necessarily expect or deserve those things from other people. Some ends remain loose because life is messy and the best I can do is apologize and wish some people the best, even if they hate me or think the worst of my intentions. I’m okay that I’m never going to be 100% comfortable or sure of myself. It just means I’ll never stop working to be a better person. I’m okay with nearly personal slight or injustice I’ve been dealt, if only because I finally have the kind of support and friends I’ve deserved all along and it’s difficult to get caught in the negative when I’m surrounded by so much good. All in all--I had a rough, strange start, and while a lot of what I did and experienced wasn’t necessarily “good”...well, it sure wasn’t bad, either. Not bad at all.  

[interstellarclaire]

As an art major in college, you are made aware of problems in the world.  As an art major in college, you have no time and certainly no money to help.

As an art major out of college, I’m through with being frustrated and I finally have the resources to do something important for my community.  Of all majors, art is one of the most selfish you can pursue.  You spend all day drawing things and obsessing over marks on paper and at the end of the day, what are those marks good for if they don’t bring about positive change?

Art is good and art is important, but try telling that to people who don’t have enough to eat!

[elsenioryear]

After midnight reminders

I am one person With a pair of hands, a pair of legs A net weight of 52 kg, 158 hight A pair of eyes One heart I am too small to change the world I am too small to decide on -insert anything varying from a dish from a menu to a path from life- I am too small in general I am a speck on a speck in a universe full of specks and flowers and jungles I thought one day that i am more than that I thought that i was born for more But i am just one person With one heart And one dream To be a slightly significant speck