I can feel the cold in my feet
and the snow in the breeze,
and yet I get sad
when my mother denies ice cream.
I know you would say she is right.
I always knew
you would take her side.
I haven’t left my room
since dawn.
One may say: lazy Christmas—
so lazy I did nothing at all.
So I write to you
as the joy of warmth
gets overshadowed by a gloomy day.
Where is my Christmas spirit?
It left to haunt someone else today.
So don’t get scared—
but run to catch it,
if you dare.
Some are wondering what they did,
some are wondering what to do.
I think of this year’s end,
but everyone thinks of what is new.
So I close the letter,
shove it in my pocket,
and go on a secret walk outside.
When I turn toward you,
I make sure no one sees me,
so that I don’t have to hide.
I walk to you
and give a kiss,
and your favourite candy
that I never miss.
I place the letter
under your name,
and under your epitaph—
that was lame.
I bought a jacket
because you hate the cold.
I sneaked it out
through my window.
So I sat beside you,
thinking of our Christmas Day
and the get-together
that you hate.
And yes, I bought you a gift,
but you’ll have to wait.
And oh—your mom is coming tonight
with your loving wine cake.
And I am lucky
that I don’t have to share,
but unlucky
that now you don’t care.
I wish you ate it
one last time.
And did I forget to tell you?
I made key lime pie.
Yes, I burned it
a little on the side,
but I wish you could still snatch it all
and I would be alright.
And last Christmas
you said we would match,
so I wore a red dress—
as I know I buried you in red.
And I hate that
you didn’t send flowers to my door.
I hate to tell you
the last ones are still at my desk,
left to rot.
And no, there is no mistletoe.
I don’t want your ghost to wander
and haunt the whole floor.
And no, I didn’t decorate my room—
who would judge?
Who would question
the little gingerbread hut?
But yes, Mom decorated the Christmas tree,
and yes, your sister and I
went on a shopping spree.
There is so much to tell,
but I should stop.
Mom must be waiting
for her welcoming job.
And I wish you could just leave this place
and walk me home.
I wish you could kiss me
under the mistletoe.
So I kiss you back,
but my hands are cold.
I must walk all alone.
And I hope you have
your wish list.
And I wish you
a Merry Christmas