What is Trust? Well it comes down to three fundamental concepts.
1. It takes work – we can’t just be naïve and trust anyone that crosses our paths. But, we also can’t be afraid to trust (no matter how many time’s we’ve been hurt in the past) And no matter how many times I’ve been hurt. I trusted you the minute I laid eyes on you. But , what did you do? You took your past and present hurts out on me. You talk about your stuff and how you don’t trust kids? What about my stuff, my sons stuff? I leave it all in your hands. Only to come back and half of it gone the other half out back near the burn pit? What is trust? I wasted my time searching the coast for a surf board and inspiration for you. I traveled back here for you. Because I thought I had one person that I could trust, that did care, that I could turn too. Only to find out later that your like everyone else here.
2. Accountability – Trust doesn’t mean that those we trust are perfect. What it means that they are accountable. Example- when I knew I was wrong in taking and drinking your royal crown. I took accountability for it and apologized. When I break something of yours I took accountability and apologized for it. No text, no heads up, and no remorse on your part. When I said help yourself. I said it because I trusted you. I trusted that you would of touched base with me. But guess what? You didn’t and my personal stuff that also was in there like my father’s box, gone. Still this whole time I still cared about you. I still took the time to do things for you. My son and his stuff. He wrote it off, I mean he is use to people fucking us over. I told him “Sometimes people do things because they are hurting. That doesn’t mean we should do anything to add to that hurt.” Followed with “Its just stuff and stuff we can always get again.” It’s insulting to my intelligence for you to sit and talk about trust when you can’t even be a prime example of it. And even more when you cant take accountability for your wrongs. It’s okay though I forgive you. You know why? Because you helped me graduate in the art of letting go. Losing my dad’s stuff was the final straw. I now have nothing that I can say I cling to. He is gone, the past is gone, and all that is left is now.
4. Trust is actually the certainty that you can change destiny. In the words of the Tzemach Tzedek, a great mystic and teacher, to someone in need of healing: “Think good and it will be good.” Not just “think good” period. Not merely positive thinking. But that by thinking good “it will be good.” Trust is the absolute conviction that goodness will prevail, and that we have the power to make it happen. Have you once ever thought good? Or did you just past judgement? As if you and your stuff stood above us? As if you are better than us? Did you ever have certainty? I think not. It’s always just been about pity. You got your shit twisted. I mean after everything dent head is still out back. Who you know and is known all over town for being a thieving ass punk. But yet your worried about a 12 year old in which you can’t even set a good example too.
I’m quite but I’m not fucking stupid. I do notice everything, I sense everything and I’m aware of everything. Lack of trust in me or him isn’t because we deserve it. But only because a guilty mind is always suspicious. Deep down you know your wrong. Deep down you feel bad. Deep down the person you truly are and not what you put out to the world to be, cares. And that fucking scares you..
But guess what? You don’t stand above me. Because despite it all I can back who I am and all my imperfections. You think you have it all? But you lack authenticity; therefore you have nothing. Too think I ever wanted this, or ever wanted you. Boy, ain’t I a real idiot.
- Sincerity your reality check,
curve ball….the unexpected.
Yeah, I'm drunk and heartbroken but in the morning I won't regret it.
- engulfedbymaleficsaturn