this isnt a hot take (feel free to react to it like one tho lmao) but please imagine a Manhunt with Dream "can craft a boat in midair to save himself from falling to death" Wastaken with hunters Achievement "keep forgetting how to craft a pickaxe" Hunter. ive been thinking about it all day
it would be like a 9 v 1 and dream would win every time. the hunters would willingly kill gavin at the start bc it’s funny. like 3 to 4 ppl are genuinely trying to kill him the rest have already accepted their fate and just decided to only gather materials for the actual hunters (good end) or just fuck off and do whatever they like while ignoring their stated goal (bad end)
not to have my rambly, 1:30 AM thoughts be more fodder in your inbox ("do my friends hate me or do i need to go to sleep" vibes tbh), but sometimes it's just so tiring being a c!tommy, c!tubbo, or c!wilbur fan (or god forbid all three at the same time *points at myself* ueueue)
maybe i just need to curate my fandom experience more but boy does it feel like you need to have a 5-page thesis with at least 3 credible sources about why you're "allowed" to like these "awful" "villainous" characters before getting a stamp of approval, meanwhile characters like c!tec//hno or c!dr//eam (no shade to the c!s, i personally think they're very good /gen) you can just say "lol he's funny" or "lol he's sexy" and that's more than enough
the double standards are frustrating and while i do think the c!tommy defense can get a liiiittle over the top on sites like tumblr and ao3 that leads to the occasional mischaracterization (gee, your fave is being misinterpreted? i wonder how that feels /s), if they were to become anything like twitter or youtube comments i would probably cry :[
(/lh /nm)
anyways, do have a good day/afternoon/night, love your art <3
thank you! im sorry about how that probably is, and boy do i feel it. have a good one as well <3
😂 Share your funniest line (or dialogue exchange).
you picked the HARD one. me, funny? not particularly. but something's clearly changed in the last year because I have written a fair bit of dialogue that's never actually seen the light of day. have some nonsense that was supposed to be for Earth & Sky week.
“I’m totally a work of art,” Gordon brags as he curls one arm, made less impressive by the elbow-length sleeves. “Put me on display and I’ll easily earn the highest bid.”
Alan snorts without looking up from his schoolwork. “Yeah right. You wish, fish.”
Sighing, Virgil dabs another dot of heather gray onto his canvas. What he gets for working outside his studio today. “The guidelines are clear—paintings only.”
“So paint me. I know Virg keeps body paint in that busting-at-the-seams studio of his.”
Alan does a convincing enough job of gagging that Virgil glances up to check he’s not actually in the process of dying. “Ugh. I could’ve gone my entire life without knowing that. Thanks for nothing.”
I'm sorry because this was meant to be up last night, but it was giving me problems – in fact, writing anything was, writer's block definitely hit. But I've written a Torchwood fic (shock, I know; it's on my accounts, but I won't be posting it here) and magically writer's block is gone. My mum always said to listen to my head, and it was clearly telling me I needed to write that.
So I've managed to achieve two prompts for @gumnut-logic‘s irrelief2020 in one fic - hooray! I've wanted to write for these from the moment I saw them! I've worked in a board game café as 'guru' of sorts, so this is like, definitely my area. So, this is Board Games for @Tsarinatorment and EOS+Monopoly for @halorocks1214.
I'm sure there will be some of you out there who can sympathise to events in this (I've seen my fair share at work, and from my neighbour).
All of the games I've mentioned are out there, and most of them are still in print, even if in updated copies.
P.S. This one was meant to a normal-ish length, and it was before I cleared by writer's block, but that version was terrible, so it's staying buried in my archives!
Summary: Every family had one; the first to crack in the midst of a game. Usually there was a long story involved; tick. Usually, there wasn't an AI though… Gordon would rather not remember it as it was.
-------------------------
Every family had one; the first to crack in the midst of a game.
With a family like the Tracy's, it happened often enough.
The five brothers each had very different tastes in games.
And as such, they had quite the mass of board games in their house: not that they always had the same amount of time they used to in order to play through all of them.
Scott liked Snakes and Ladders (which the Troublesome Two claimed made him old), Trivial Pursuit (which the double T's claimed made him tasteless), and The Logo Game (which all four of his siblings gave him a look that meant 'seriously?').
John liked Risk. It was one that Scott didn't actually mind either, but they rarely played it. John always managed to take over the world, no matter how poor his starting ground. Gordon had joked that this is what John spent his 'free time' up on Five doing, 'planning how to take over the world from above'. John had simply raised an eyebrow, saying nothing to the contrary, and ever since, Gordon had believed it was a viable possibility (especially after EOS). Chess, was another, and surprisingly, that Gordon would play with John, which made him the only one who could manage it. Very surprisingly.
Virgil had much appreciation for building games, which encouraged dexterity (ones no one else had the patience and balance for, Gordon proclaimed; Virgil preferred to call it skill), like Tokyo Highway and Junk Art. Alan made a mess of them, Scott had very little grace, John had the patience but not the balance, and Gordon always chose to film said games as opposed to taking part. He knew he couldn't hold a candle to his brother's skill, so filming everyone else's misfortune was his favourite past time in place of winning.
Gordon was a fan of the 'fun stuff'. Snap because it was quick and easy; Exploding Kittens, for similar reasons, as well as the funny artwork; and something called Cash n' Guns surprisingly. Surprisingly, because it actually involved using your brain - although Scott was sure the liking for it came more from the fact that it contained and allowed the use of polystyrene guns.
Alan loved a range of things, which no one had yet been able to find a link for… Robo Rally, Terraforming Mars (which was complicated enough without the expansion set which Alan had purchased that only John could actually make playable sense of, leaving the rest of them nodding like idiots whilst the red-heads explanation went right over their hears like rockets), not to mention something called Panic Mansion for the 'Gingerbread Men explorers'. Scott still didn't quite see that point. They were Treasure Hunters, obviously, not Gingerbread Men.
The five brothers had very different tastes indeed.
Except where Monopoly was concerned. John found most games a little too easy – so his opinion went without saying – but Scott, Virgil and Alan all found enjoyment in it (though for different reasons). It wasn't Gordon's favourite, purely because he'd never won, but that wasn't to say that he didn't like it – in a very odd way which he couldn't explain. Alan proclaimed it was the metal hat, which Gordon denied so vehemently, that the others had begun to wonder if the youngest's theory held some truth. It was rarely played unless they thought there would be time to finish it, and that was for two reasons. If they had to pause, Gordon had a tendency to try and 'manipulate' the money – either moving it from his brother's piles or pilfering it directly from the bank. Or, Gordon got bored and that risked the board being thrown in the air.
Gordon still maintained that such had only happened the once.
Scott and Virgil were obstinate that it was more like thrice.
But, this afternoon they had found time.
And, this afternoon, EOS was joining them for a game, and that was a first. It was tricky, but not impossible. They'd managed to get MAX to play before, so they figured it couldn't be much harder. John minded her assets – because he was the best at multitasking – and Virgil had conveniently placed himself between John and Gordon to stop the latter from stealing money during the game. Gordon had folded his arms, pouted and made some mumbled point about 'never daring'.
They all knew it wasn't quite true.
Just because he'd yet to be psychically caught in the act, didn't mean they were all unaware to his doing it.
EOS had never played a board game in her life. She'd heard about them. She probably knew more of them than the boys did as well – after all, she had access to every rule book, cheat book and video tutorial, and actually thought that she might be quite good at some of them. Of course, she'd never had the chance (before now) to try and put those skills to the test.
John had been a little surprised when his AI jumped at the chance, but didn't comment on or question the matter.
And so, that was how, on a sunny, quiet (hopefully staying so) Thursday afternoon, they'd managed to sit themselves on the floor of the lounge, with EOS on the holo-communication channel and everything ready to go. Grandma had even made them a stack of cookies for the afternoon. Hooray(!). It had actually been EOS who came up with the suggestion of throwing them out of the window.
There'd been a small moment of raised brows and pointed gazes, as they silently tried to work out between them whether Grandma would notice. They chose not to risk it. Who knew if Kayo would be around to see. She wouldn't tell Grandma out of spite, as such, but only so the kindly lady could make them more. That very well defeated the point.
So, the cookies sat untouched as they settled all the necessary pieces around the board.
Alan had already proclaimed that he was looking forward to the challenge. Virgil voiced nothing aloud, but he did share a look with Scott and John. What challenge? Alan was known to blow all his money by at least halfway through the game, and end up in serious debt to one of them. Sometimes it worked in their favour; they'd once agreed to give Alan a non-existent loan in a swap for him doing the dishes for a week. The youngest, too keen to stay in the game and not lose, again, had taken it before he could think better of it. Gordon had momentarily complained that they never gave him one of these 'definitely-not-fair-because-it's-not-in-the-rules-imaginery-loans', before promptly backing away when they offered him one on the spot.
He wasn't doing the dishes for a week, thank you very much.
Scott had to admit, he'd almost thought about not playing. He was doomed (enough) when John joined them, let alone with the AI contributing as well. He'd decided instead that he should probably strategise for once, and was studying the board a little like a man possessed. Gordon and Alan had already noticed, and shared their own wondering looks, but left the eldest to his scheming.
Scott had the Scottie dog (obviously), John had the cat, Virgil had the wheelbarrow, Gordon had the hat (theory definitely proven true), Alan had the racing car (no questions to be asked there) and EOS had the battleship.
As with Monopoly tendencies, the game started off very tame.
Scott weighed his decisions up for what felt like hours, the younger pair sitting with their heads in their hands waiting for an end, and even EOS suggested a time limit in the end.
Virgil always seemed to play with many strategies, but if you said that to him, he would have scoffed at you. He got lucky; there was always an element of luck to be had with dice, despite what John may argue about the science behind it. He had preferences as well; properties that you were more likely to land on, or just places which were his particular favourites that he might seek to obtain. If it looked like strategy, well, he wasn't going to be heard complaining.
John, on the other hand, did have strategies in place. An endless amount of them. As was to be expected. The red head would buy properties according to those his brothers bought, always waiting and saving and somehow managing to catch you unawares when you were least expecting it. He was the only person Gordon had ever known to be able to buy Park Lane and Mayfair and have hotels on it without going bankrupt before he made the money back. That tactic's mysteries had yet to be solved.
Gordon liked to think he had tactics. Then he'd make a move which his brothers would frown at, and he'd try to cover up the fact that such response questioned 'why?' with every ounce of acting ability he had. Confidence, that made it look like you had a plan. Or at least, that always seemed to have worked for Dad. So, he played like fish and copied that response, even if he knew someone might have seen through it.
Alan acted in traditional Alan fashion, and began to promptly blitz money on everything. Literally anything he landed on which he could buy was immediately his.
EOS, unfortunately, seemed to think much like John. Once again, that was hardly surprising. However, it was shocking to see that her thinking let her down. When John had asked her why she didn't buy the third pink property to complete the set, she had simply 'shrugged' (as Gordon interpreted it anyway,) with the movement of little yellow dots and answered;
"I am not disclosing my strategy."
"Ok then."
First time experiences with a game. Everyone learnt from them.
For once, Gordon was a little excited that there might be a player worse than he (or Alan) in the family! Scott began to wonder if winning against EOS wasn't such a lost cause. John had even enquired as to whether EOS' new processors were working.
Scott's 'strategizing' – if you could even call it that, Gordon thought – wasn't going very well. In fact, he looked to be in a worse place than usual. And of course, they'd managed to make it through four rounds. It was only a matter of time before… oh yeah, there it went, the triple double roll. Scott always ended up in jail first. Alan found that quite amusing, and Gordon didn't want to risk the eldest's wrath to tell the youngest a few home truths. Even Virgil would chuckle at that one, and Scott would dejectedly move himself to jail, and insist that he'd be lucky enough to roll his way out on the next go.
Safe to say, it went that the eldest rolled twice with failure, and on the third round paid to get out only to then roll what he needed. Gordon didn't know what fluke of nature allowed it to happen, but he got one hell of a kick out of the pilot having to eat his words.
As far as Gordon knew, John had never made his way to jail. "Good planning", he claimed, but the Aquanaut wasn't sure there was such a thing. If there was, he'd like he gain that ability. By the time they'd made it six rounds in, John had managed to acquire all three green properties, and still have money to spare. It always happened. No matter whose property he landed on, there was always money appearing before him… like he took it out of the bank! But he didn't. Not that anyone saw… Gordon knew John wouldn't cheat, but it made him feel a little better about losing to consider the possibility.
After John, it would be Virgil's go and like usual, Gordon knew how this worked, because Virgil did have an uncanny sense of luck with the dice. No doubt he'd would land on the Water Works and buy it to go with the Electric Company he'd bought in the first round, at long last. Somehow, whatever he bought, for the middle child, that always happened.
And on his go… what happens? He's gets himself a nice little double and lands on John's property. Get's to roll again because of it, and for the first time this game lands on something Scott owns (fortunately, its only worth a couple pounds, but John's just robbed him for hundreds, so he's not in the mood; and unfortunately, Scott is screaming like it's the 4th July, because he told Virgil "that would be a good buy in the end!" when the middle child had protested everyone landed on 'Go' and skipped what came after). It always happened to him. He couldn't just get a nice little double to his advantage, oh no, only to make him pay out to others. He was probably keeping John's funds afloat.
Gordon threw the money at Scott's feet. They were getting to that point, where the paying out was more than the coming in, and everything seemed an irritant.
"This game is ridiculous."
"No, it's not! It's fun!"
"Losing is not fun, Alan."
"You're just a sore loser, Gordon."
Gordon shook his head. He knew how this went down too. The Tax square was coming up, and Alan – rash as he was with money - would definitely land on it.
"Oh what? This game is ridiculous!"
Gordon really wanted to point out that he'd already said that, but refrained. It was much nicer to listen to EOS not laughing at him for once.
EOS wasn't a constant though.
Gordon had never seen her play before. He didn't know her strategies or her quirks and he found it hard to predict what was going to come her way. She seemed to be the perfect mix between Alan and John, spending money fast, but just enough money that there was enough in reserve to take her past properties which weren't her own. Gordon could actually see how that made for a good playing strategy. But EOS, practical though she was, seemed to have little to no luck.
A little like me, Gordon had found himself thinking.
At first, Alan had insisted it was rigged, EOS' continued landing on the 'Chance' and 'Community Chest' cards. That was, until, Virgil read out the resulting cards on her behalf. It was always 'pay this' or 'repair that', or 'move here and collect nothing', or (the most interesting by far) 'go to jail'.
"That's silly." EOS had whined.
"It's the game, EOS." Virgil had reasoned before John could, because honestly the red head looked to be wearing the same expression Dad had when he'd tried to teach the boys Monopoly – oh Gods that was so long ago – and Scott was finding great amusement out of it.
"But that's silly."
"Tough luck, EOS!" Alan called almost victoriously as he moved EOS' piece to the corresponding square, despite the fact his bank's grand total was currently sitting at around forty-eight pounds. "You're in jail! No money for you."
That one would at least be a saviour for the next round, and Gordon breathed a sigh of relief as the fear of the yellow strips on the board was nullified for him.
"But it's still a silly thing! I can't go to jail. You could never lock me up."
Many confused faces had stared across the holo-link, until it had clicked with John, like it only could.
"There's a section on the board, EOS, not a physical jail."
"I know. You still could never lock me up. I'd break out. I'm already great friends with the security systems of The White House."
Eyes here turned to John, who promptly dismissed every piece of awareness which had allowed him to hear that comment. Later he'd claim momentary deafness. It was scientifically possible to have momentary blindness, so he would just argue the points until he was either blue in the face or his brothers were stumped out by the language (the more likely of the two).
"We'll talk about that later. But the point is, it's not physical, so none of that matters."
"I know, John, I do. But it's still silly!"
Alan rolled his eyes, Scott dropped his head into his hands, and Virgil sighed with weight equal to that of Two. Gordon really wished he hadn't 'dropped' his camera into the pool.
"It's silly, John, because-"
"EOS-"
"The card doesn't tell me what it's sending me to jail for."
There was a beat.
A pause in which John swiped the card out of Virgil's grip and studied the 'Go to jail. Move immediately to jail. Do not pass Go. Do not collect two hundred pounds' standard text which they'd read so often, as though it might open up new possibilities, or give a re-rising to the lost lands of Atlantis.
Which actually, Gordon wasn't going to think about because he associated that trip with Lemaire, and that was a step too far for a Thursday afternoon. Give him until Sunday at least. He might be properly awake by then and able to deal with it.
"Well?"
Scott asked after a while, when it seemed like nothing was going to move on. John set the card in the discard pile and chucked the dice (EOS had wanted to use a virtual dice, but that had been overruled. What? Gordon though, validly, that it was a good way of her cheating, so a different brother would roll for her each turn) towards Alan who failed dramatically at catching them.
"Well what? She's right, it is silly. Who sends someone to jail without having charged them for something?"
Gordon would have copied his brothers in dropping his head into his hands, he very much would have, but it was far more entertaining to be watching, to notice as Scott whacked his head just a little too hard onto the edge of his wrist bone.
And definitely wished he hadn't killed his camera.
**********
After they'd decided that EOS and John must, somehow, share genetics, they moved on with the game. Little changed, except for the state of the board, which was beginning to pile up with houses and hotels. Virgil was currently reshuffling the Chance cards, again, because EOS still kept landing on them. She'd been sent to jail by one for a second time – to Alan and Scott's shared delight, since they usually shared the luck in drawing those – and they'd promptly managed to cease the return of the 'silly' argument. As it would forever be known in Gordon's secret diary.
Luckily, the second time around EOS had a 'Get out of Jail Free Card' which she had bought from John in return for Mayfair. Gordon still maintained that he smelt a rat there as the houses appeared and he began to set aside a chunk of money just in case he was unlucky enough to land upon them. He wasn't going to let that powerhouse strategy of John's catch him again.
Said card had at least saved some stalling, however not all. The game had been paused yet again as EOS remarked;
"That card is stupider than the one which sends you to jail."
The sigh had been unanimous, but it was Scott who found voice for the question, "And why is that, EOS?"
"Because you never get out of jail free. You have to have a court appeal. Or at the very least pay bail charges."
"EOS, it's a game," John had finally silenced. "Suspend your disbelief for the next two – or however many – hours it takes us to finish this please?"
"Ok. But when it's finished, I might ask Parkmoor Scrubs printing system to make me such a card-"
"What for?" Alan had cut her off, but John had promptly shook his head, hoping the youngest would get the simple message. Sssh. It wasn't hard to receive, and even Gordon got it first time round.
"EOS, we'll talk about that later. It's Alan's go."
"But I want to know-"
"Alan, just have your go!"
Scott, sensing what John was trying to do, had laughed, and promptly ended up with a pillow lobbed at his face. John's balance was rubbish, but his aim, was somehow spot on. As Scott was pulling said pillow away from his face, Gordon was sitting happy remembering why he didn't try to call the red head out on his deflection attempts.
***********
Pause number three (or argument number three, depending on your view) happened a little while later.
Apparently, EOS' grand strategy was beginning to break down.
"I don't care how much you offer me, EOS, you're not having it." Virgil proclaimed, properly putting his foot down on the property exchange EOS had been trying to offer him. John just looked done, and Gordon honestly wondered if they'd been this annoying when Dad was trying to teach them, because that expression truly was a replica, even though it had been yonks since he'd seen it.
Scott seemed to be the only one not minding the extra time now. He was using it as his way to study the board without Alan telling him to hurry and have his go, or heaven's forbid call him old. Because that had happened, only three turns ago, and it hadn't ended well. Gordon didn't know which he would hate to be more right now: Alan, or the poor plate of cookies the youngest was belligerently munching his way through.
"But everything I've read says if the deal is preferable, players will swap."
"Yeah, well the internet doesn't say much for human emotion."
"But John always makes preferable deals."
"Well I'm not John. And I'm not giving you my reds so have your go."
"But-"
"No, I will not swap them, even for another hundred."
"You don't conform to my research. I do not understand you, Heavy Weight."
"Heavy Weight?"
"That's my nickname, John warned me she had poor taste."
"I heard that!"
"Ooops." It occurred to Gordon that Virgil didn't really seem that sorry. It was the same tone from when the shower on Two cut out all that while ago. If he hadn't thought it then, he knew now the elder definitely had something to do with it. And he really wanted to impress Penelope with their rescue skills that day too.
"But why Heavy Weight?"
"That's obvious, Alan. Because Virgil does all the heavy lifting."
"So the Fish can cope out of water, after all."
"Hey!" He found himself gapping, absolutely flabbergasted.
"EOS, had you said that earlier, I might have swapped with you for free."
"Go on then."
"No, I was joking, EOS."
"Virgil, EOS has my sense of humour."
And somehow, Gordon just knew this was doomed to go on.
Some point during the discussion, Scott nudged his jaw closed…
*********
It had taken nearly half an hour to actually play EOS' turn before things could get moving again. Gordon was pleased when he made it past 'Tricky Corner' as he'd dubbed it, got his two hundred for passing go, and was reimbursed his tax.
Maybe this game wasn't all that bad, after all.
Scott and Alan were floundering, and Gordon honestly couldn't work out which one of them had more left. The youngest was surviving purely through mortgaged property. It wouldn't be long until Alan was out, and then it really would turn into a free for all.
"Oh, that's mine! EOS, you owe me."
"I do not."
"Yes, you do."
"Do not."
"It's in the rules."
"But you rolled the dice before you noticed."
"I did not!"
"You did too."
"That's not in the rules."
"I think you'll find it is."
"It is not!" Alan demanded, and Gordon wondered if paracetamol would be needed. Scott was looking rather thankful for that pillow John had chucked his way now, the eldest using it in place of earmuffs.
"I'm the AI-"
"Yeah, well I'll-"
"-and I'm the one with access-"
"-the rule book out, shall I-"
"-to the worlds bank of knowledge and-"
"-and read to you exactly what it says-"
"Anyone want a drink?" John offered.
Gordon thought he wanted to get away from the noise more than he wanted to act as a butler, but it worked and John took himself from the room to fetch what Virgil and Scott had asked for.
It was a very entertaining debate – Alan and EOS, arguing across the one and only lounge in the world that expanded into space, and all over whether someone had to pay money or not.
Five minutes later, Gordon wanted the paracetamol, and wasn't honestly sure that the entertainment was still worth it. If he managed to play at all well with this headache, it would be a new record.
"I'm right, aren't I? Tell her I'm right!"
"What? Sorry Alan, we weren't listening."
Since John's return, he, Scott and Virgil had taken to talking quietly whilst the pair fought it out. Gordon had just continued to watch, re-counting his money whilst wondering whether he still needed to keep aside his just in case fund, or if it would be more beneficial spent on some hotels.
"You what? Right, well, that's it! I'm right EOS, so pay up!"
"You are wrong! I'm not paying you a single penny of my hard-earned money."
"Um EOS- No, alright then, ignore me."
Gordon had a feeling he knew exactly what John was going to remind the AI of as well; the money wasn't real.
By the time Gordon had counted his money three times over and decided that yes, he would buy those hotels on his next go – which was supposed to be shortly approaching after Alan's – he was ready to call it quits. The argument was still on going and Scott really seemed to be losing the will to live. How Virgil looked so clam still Gordon would never fathom, and John… John really was beginning to increasingly resemble Dad.
Gordon chuckled when John's next sentence – the final breaking point for the camel's back – put a stop to the argument and had Alan willingly fulfilling the rest of his go. Definitely more like Dad.
Funny. Gordon had always thought he'd see Scott turn that way first.
*********
He'd never known – or remembered, rather – it take them four hours to play Monopoly. And they weren't nearly done.
Alan was out. Like usual. And the youngest was instead spending his time darting between them, trying to work out everyone's money and take stock of what that had left on the board so he could put bets on a winner.
Gordon knew it wasn't going to be Scott. There was no way the eldest would make it past Virgil and John's properties on his next go.
In fact, Gordon wasn't feeling too bad by this point. Usually he'd be worried that he could be next on the list for demolition, leaving (as was typical) Virgil and John to battle for the crown. But, he was hopeful that he could make it to go next turn. He only needed three – that wasn't much to ask for – and then he'd be back round to safety for another roll. His hotels had been a good choice too. They'd made money.
If anyone ever asked him though – strange question it would be – whether Monopoly was a good game to be played with technology… well, the answer would be no. EOS almost seemed to know too much that it hindered her. Held her back from playing in her own way. After all, that was why they always seemed to enjoy it so much. Well, Gordon thought so at least. He'd done better this time, but if he landed on John's money-making property before making it to go… well, long story short, Scott might have a chance at not being the second one out.
He hadn't expected to be proven wrong so soon. And Scott wasn't the one to do it.
"EOS, I think that's it."
"What John?"
"I think you're out of money."
"I am not."
"Well I make it eighty short of what you owe Virgil."
"Oh uh."
"I am not bankrupt, John."
"I'm afraid you are."
"Virgil, how much do I owe you?"
"Two hundred. I've got hotels."
"But I'd never pay that much for a hotel there. It's in the middle of nowhere. And I'm family. I'll have a discount."
"You will not!"
"I will. That is a badly run hotel."
"I think you'd find I'd be great at running a hotel-"
Demolishing, Gordon had coughed beneath his breath, remembering their trip to Switzerland five days ago. Virgil couldn't wait to knock down what was left of the burnt-out building which was now classed as structurally unstable. It wasn't even technically their job anymore, but hey, who was he to comment.
He wanted to live, thank you very much.
And maybe win Monopoly for just once in his life, but living definitely came first.
"-and I will not be offering you a discount."
"If not for the location, then for-"
"I don't care about location or the fact you're family, there is no discount!"
"That is terrible! I'll be writing a review and I'm not paying you penny for a poor stay."
"You have to pay me, that's in the rules."
"Give me a discount and I will."
"No, it doesn't work like that!"
"EOS, you have to pay Virgil what you owe him, and there are no discounts in Monopoly."
"Says you," Oh dear, Gordon decided he was very glad to not be Scott, who had obviously butted in thoughtfully, yet carelessly. "You were complaining only two turns ago that you wouldn't pay for a hotel that had no view-"
"Really Scott?"
"I didn't know she'd remember that, Virgil!"
"She's an AI."
"Fair point."
Comically, Virgil's eyes widened as Virgil found money dropping past his eyes.
"It's eighty short," John declared, "You'll have to take it from the bank."
"Thanks."
"This is ridiculous."
Yeah, tell him about it.
"I'm not playing anymore."
Virgil mumbled something about being bankrupt, but Gordon was glad EOS didn't hear that.
"This is the world's worst game! I don't know why people go on about it like it's something special. I am never playing this again- Hang on-"
What for?
Scott had mouthed. John had shaken his head. There was trouble ahead when John didn't know what EOS was thinking either.
"I am definitely not bankrupt even though you say I am, and this game is silly, and so I'm going to throw the board!"
For all her intelligence… Gordon wondered whether John has as much of a headache as it looked like he might.
"Um, EOS..?" Scott started, testing the waters almost, "You can't throw the board. It needs hands."
There was a moment.
"John, throw it for me!"
The red head pulled his head up, but hadn't even needed to say a thing for Gordon to know what the answer was. No way would John ever do something like that… he had experience on the other hand.
"I'll do it!"
He didn't know quite what possessed him – maybe it was the fact he always lost, or that this had taken so long, or goodness knows what – but he reached out, tucked his fingers as far beneath the board as his palms would allow before flipping it into the air with the same delicacy he did pancakes.
Very little. Aiming high.
The board went through the air, taking pieces and money with it in a flurry of blurred shapes and noise.
For a moment afterwards, it was quiet.
Then there was a little whir and a flicker of blue.
"I asked John to do it."
And then the link was closed, and EOS was gone from their sights with John muttering something the Aquanaut had no chance of catching.
"Oh yeah, no – 'thank you Gordon'. I just can't win with her!"
Gordon folded his arms, and waited expectantly for someone to think of how to resume their game. But there was silence for a long while.
"What?"
"Um, Gordon..?"
Scott started, wearily, unsurely, like he was predicting a storm to brew at his words. John, Virgil and Alan all looked to be waiting expectantly, like they were ready to run at the first sign of said storm turning into a hurricane. Gordon couldn't for the life of him fathom out way. Scott, after a very long moment of quiet, pointed towards his stack of money, and Gordon followed his eyeline.
"You do know you were winning, right?"
The blonde took a moment to estimate the value of his pile before moving his gaze around those of his brother's (and the resigned EOS'). They were pulling his leg, had to be, he'd never won before.
"I'm winning? Let's hurry up and…"
Yeah, his brothers were already ahead of him, eyes looking at the very upturned and unrecoverable state of the board, pieces scattered just about everywhere, at a guess.
"Ahh, dammit!"
Gordon reached out, ready to re-enact his grand piece-scattering moment from the last time he'd thrown the board into the air in anger and promptly realised – a little late as his hands grabbed air – that it was a little bit too late for that. There'd be nothing to throw but the board and that would hardly be grand at all…
And he'd been winning.
Damn. It. All.
**********
Safe to say, Monopoly wasn't played again in the Tracy household for quite some time. Not until Jeff's return, actually – because it had always been one of his and Grandma's very traditional favourites.
Jeff had looked at the board carefully, studying it, trying to work out what was different about it. He settled with the fact it had been a long time since he'd last seen one.
Truth was, Grandma had brought them a new board a little while ago, even though it had remained untouched until now. She'd had too, after that last disastrous game had resulted with Gordon lobbing the already tossed board out of the lounge and into the waiting waters of the pool.
Jeff didn't understand either, why Gordon wasn't allowed near the board, and had to give instructions to MAX for the robot to play his cards and houses.
EOS didn't really like Monopoly – she wasn't as good at it as she thought she would be, but she did love to watch the boys play it, even if it was just so she could think of ways to mock Gordon later.
They'd get there eventually with the explanations, hopefully without the need to buy yet another edition of the game.
The first one, might need to be the explanation of why Gordon was always relegated the little silver hat.
