#hanbinfanfic

[yunoyeol]

His ripped love

Genre : romance; smut later; streetracer!au; angst

Warnings : explicit use of drugs; swearing; illegalities; explicit smut

Pairing : you x kim hanbin

Chapters : 1 / 2

Chp. 2.

Hanbin.

BI.

Hanbin.

You enjoyed how the syllables sounded, how they left a spicy effect on the tip of your tongue and how nicely the letters rolled out of your mouth. Even when your eyes were glued to the book's written pages, your mind was absentmindedly somewhere else. You couldn't focus, the only image you managed to produce being of that Saturday night. Laughing, you leaned back against your chair and cursed at your own foolishness, finding yourself talking alone on your room, specially when it was possible that the man in question probably didn't even remember a glimpse of you.

But, boy, did you remembered him.

Actually, that's all you've been thinking about for the past two weeks. 

You did your exam, and you thought it went good, but you recollected how surprised your were when in the middle of the test, your brain traveled to that scene once again. Your hands dug into your scalp, pushing the long hair strands back in frustration.

" - Enough. " You got up, practically shoving your feet into the slippers that rested nicely on the floor. Grabbing your phone from the desk, your fingers searched Lisa's contact rapidly. You knew that Jennie was unable, locked deeply in her room, probably with Bobby deeply inside her. Not that you mind, it was true that Jennie has been happier lately, and if she's okay with their arrangement, you were in no position to go against her felicity. You wondered how would that feel like.

Your steps guided you to the kitchen as you waited for Lisa's voice on the other line, which was heard soon after a few seconds.

" - Hello my favourite girl, at least you didn't ditch me for some dick like the other three have! " - Her voice was distinctly loud, and you could hear the was in a crowded place. " - I swear, some day they will decide to do a threesome, a sixsome actually, all they want is t- "

" - Hello Lisa, yes,- " You cut her off before she started rambling, chuckling at how whiney Lisa could be. " - i know. Where are you? "

" - Im at Midnight! That bar downtown where I'm usually at. " Her characteristic chuckle could be recognized even from afar. " - Come join me! "

" - I hope you're not alone, Lalisa. " Your voice sounded like a worried mother, scolding her irresponsible child.

Again, the laugh was made percieved. Lisa was probably around her fifth drink of the night, you judged as you grabbed your leather coat and your everyday sneakers. Now you had to go.

" I'm not, but come! I miss you. " Lisa mumbled the end of her sentence, making you roll your eyes and smile in tenderness.

" - I'm coming, give me 10 minutes. "

With that, you slid your finger on the screen and shut the call off, checking if your keys were on the jacket's pocket and your wallet still in your bag. With everything on order, you left the shared apartment, hitting the door with a loud bang to warn Jennie that she was alone now, and could moan as loud as her lungs desired.

×××

Downtown, 01:23 AM.

Finding a parking spot was difficult, and now you knew why. The bar was packed, smoke filling the atmosphere and the music quite obnoxiously loud. As soon as Lisa found you, she raised from her seat and waved, extending her fingers as high as they could. She was on a table with a familiar looking trio, the same blonde one that took the bag that time, a quieter guy that scrowled his phone down and him.

Him.

Hanbin was here.

The same man that didn't leave your brains and wrecked your rational mind everytime you tried to get some rest and peace.

Your throat went dry, and you suddenly thought that staying home and hear your roommate's pleasured screams wasn't actually a bad idea.

With a gulp, your feet lead you to the table they were in, an awkward smile resting on your nude lips.

" Hi. " Your voice came quiet, probably more quiet than it should, and you found yourself nervous at your own actions. Lisa laughed and swung her dainty arm over your shoulders.

" Guys, this is Y/N. This one is Yunhyeong, this punk here is Chanwoo, and that one over there is Hanbin. " Now you could associate the face with a name, Yunhyeong was the bag carrier, Chanwoo was unknown for you, and surely you already knew Hanbin's name.

" I know this lamb. " Hanbin pointed his indicator finger at you even if it lazily balanced a cigarette with his middle one. There was a glint of mischief on his smirk, and in the way his lids seemed to be fighting against it's own weight when they danced from your uneasy expression to the colour of your jeans.

" Lamb? Wait, wh- " You scoffed, a sudden chuckle following the question. But for your luck, Yunhyeong cut you mid sentence, saving your unnecessary embarrassment.

" She was with them two weeks ago, on our race, right? " He scrunched his eyes as if he was trying to figure it out himself.

" That's right! " Lisa answered and took her seat back, pulling you next to her. Sitting, your hands fell on your lap and glued to each other.

Hanbin nodded, taking a sip of his drink and setting the cup down again, a soft giggle vigorously leaking from his throat. It sounded like venom, but you'd likely get drunk on it. Chanwoo noticed how you stared, his eyebrow arching up and his irises moving to his friend.

" You guys know each other? " Chanwoo asked, locking his phone and leaving it on the wooden surface of the table.

" No. "

" Yes. "

Both of you answered in chorus, his affirmative answer making you slightly confused.

" I presented myself the other day, didn't I Y/N? "

And you could feel your feet shaking, effect of his perfect smirk that turned into a wide smile. The sound of your name leaving his mouth blanked your thoughts, and you swore his voice was your favourite melody from now on. Chanwoo seemed observant, glancing quietly between the two of you.

" Well, I'll go meet Daisy, so I'll be taking my leave. " Yunhyeong got up, drank the last sip of his beer and grabbed his wallet, waving at the rest of you.

You noticed by the corner of your eye how a familiar looking girl aproached the table once Yunhyeong's seat was empty, nicely next to Hanbin. You thought in getting up and moving there, but that kind of courage was stored in your deepest fantasies only. Instead of you, a girl with a heartwarming smile took his place.

" Hello, how are we today, huh? " Her voice was sweet, happy and she seemed to be in a great mood.

" Dahyun! Long time no see! " Lisa got up from her seat only to embrace the newcomer. You had a feeling you've seen her before. By the way she instantly circled your friend with her arms, you knew they were close somehow.

" Dahyun, from my history of arts classes. " Lisa looked at you as if she heard your thoughts, and now you knew why she was familiar.

Hanbin took a sip from his cup, his tingue grazing over his lower lip agonizingly slow. He seemed to be quieter now, deep in thoughts, only to interrupt himself and get up, grabbing his pack of cigarettes.

" I'm going outside for a smoke, I need fresh air. " Even you not knowing anything about this man, you knew that it was a awful excuse to take a step away from the table.

With that, you got up too. Stumbling on your words after grabbing to much attention, your shaking irises moved to Lisa that stared at you with a unknown expression.

" I remembered I have to finish my essay. I'll be leaving, it's late.

What an awful lie, Y/N. The only thing you wanted was a small conversation with Hanbin to leave you daydream for the mext two months.

Lisa watched you for a couple of seconds, before nodding with a small grin. She wasn't dumb, she knew how to read people.

Hanbin walked out of the scene, leaving the bar and leaning against the brick wall. You just followed his lazy steps outside, zipping your jacket up once the chilly night touches your neck and made you shiver.

The temperature, you supposed.

" You'll be leaving now? " Hanbin lightened a cigarette up, hanging it on his chapped lips.

Ah, stupid Y/N. How ridiculous was it, always finding beauty in places that you shouldn't be looking for. You dove into the idea of how excruciating painful it could be : hungrily searching for something that would spark you out of your mundane life, even if that interest was found in the shape of hostile man, that managed to catch all of your senses just by standing there, lightning a cigarette up. 

" Yes. It’s late. How about you, are you always smoking? ‘‘ Your voice slightly trembled, but you blamed the weather, not the puddle of fire that agonized your stomach in ways you still had to decipher. 

Hanbin just took a deep drag out of the death stick he now held between his fingers, inhaling the smoke with dull grace and exhaling a cloud of carbon dioxide mixed with nicotine. With his irises finding yours, his voice came out deep but clear enough to be heard even with the distance, the muffled music and the chuckle that leaked out of his throat between his words.

‘‘ Want to go for a ride? ‘‘ 

Without much thought, your head instantly nodded in a affirmative motion.

[yunoyeol]

His ripped love

Genre : romance; smut later; streetracer!au; angst

Warnings : explicit use of drugs; swearing; illegalities; explicit smut

Pairing : you x kim hanbin

Chapters : 1 / 2

Chp. 1.

Your hands were cold and your exposed knees quivered with the gelid night breeze, making you curse under a large exhale of air. You started to question your decision in tagging along with Jennie, your roommate, but she had her way with words and her persuasive smile always tended to make you agree with all of her stupid invites. At least you’re going out with me tonight, it’s Saturday, you can take a break from all of that studying, Y/N, you recalled on your head, needless to say that the old memory in your shared living room floated in your head and made your eyes subconsciously roll back.

“ - I really should learn how to say no, specially to you guys. Jennie, where the hell are we going? ”

Ah, Jennie. Jennie was a lived girl, happy and spontaneous. You envied her, envied how her lifestyle was truly reckless and how she didn’t care about consequences. Sometimes, you wished you could be a little like her, have a mix of your responsibility with her unselfconscious personality, but you knew tomorrow was always a new day, and you’d have to wake up at 7 o'clock and get up, take a shower and start a new fresh day, having classes at 8. Besides, you needed a place to stay when you moved to college, since your family residence was too far away, making it too expensive to travel every day. You found Jennie’s announcement through a site, popular among students in need of sharing an apartment with someone to reduce the money waste by the end of the month. The first weeks were quite hard to handle, you wanted to rest and study, go to college and come back for more books, maybe spend a hour in a novel that you’d found at the book store, but Jennie and the friends she brought home made it hard for you, with all of their unreasonable talks and deafening laughs. They were obnoxiously loud, and you couldn’t concentrate, and the first time you ever talked properly with Jennie was in a scream of rage, telling her to shut up. You still remember how embarrassed you were, her three friends staring at you in silence for the first time you ever saw, dumbfounded.

- If we irritate you so much, why don’t you sit with us and eat some pizza? - Lisa, you now knew her name.

And after that, you would join them in their movie sprees and thunderous noises, the ones that used to irritate you but now pulled your old neighbors to their edges. There were times were you’d skip the encounter to study, but they always made sure to leave your pizza part at your room’s door, to not interrupt you.

In three months, you considered them your best friends, the ones who you would cry to when something went wrong, the ones who got your back, the ones who would drag you to stupid frat parties where you isolated yourself, and the ones who loved you no matter what, even when your habits didn’t quite coincide with theirs. Lisa was a free spirit firecracker, Chaeyoung preferred boys over books, Jisoo would play with your long hair everytime she got the chance to land her hands on it, and Jennie was Jennie, a lived, happy and spontaneous girl.

They made your time worth a while in a new city.

But today, you weren’t having it. Firstly, Jisoo forced you into a white summer dress, when you specifically said that it wasn’t warm enough for outsider’s weather, and white was just not your colour. Chaeyoung made sure to hide your study manuals and Lisa dragged you to Jennie’s car, where she was waiting patiently.

“ - Where are we going, guys? ” - You repeated, leaning back against the harsh old leather of Jennie’s car.

Lisa turned the music louder, booming way too loud bass that you weren’t sure if they could crack the windows or not. You, instead, decided to lower the volume down, making your voice loud enough for her ears. “ - Really, where are we going, I have an exam in a couple of weeks. ”

“ Ah c'mon Y/N, you’re going out with us, I said it. And where going to have fun. ”- Jisoo answered from the back seat, lightning a cigarette that hung on her cherry colored lips.

That clearly didn’t answer your question, and you doubted your friends intentions, but before your could protest, you felt the car coming to a stop. You didn’t know the place, and obviously neither did you know why there were so many people gathered in this one exact spot. Judging by the clothing choice, the women here weren’t cold but they were very, very, pretty.

“ - Okay. What’s this? ” You asked, the shock of the moment making your voice level lower than usual. With that, Jennie laughed and opened her door, getting out of her parked vehicle. This wasn’t even a parking spot, being clearly a make shift parking lot for the cars that came here, to this unknown destiny. Following Jennie, the girls that sat on the backseat got up and left the car, leaving you with the only option of following them too, since you didn’t even have the minor idea of where the hell did they brought you to.

You clearly didn’t belong here. If you thought your knees were too much exposed, your eyes proved you wrong. You had never seen so much skin before, people here seemed as reckless as your friends, and now you wished you stayed home. Jennie’s hand grabbed your wrist, making your statue figure walk, even when the surprise that the ambient offered you was painted, splattered on your expression.

“ - To answer your questions, this is a street race. ” - She smiled with her charming lips, a loving curve making her eyes disappear in half moon shapes.

Your eyes now fixated on her, not knowing how, or why she brought you here. Millions of questions went through your mind, but your throat didn’t reproduce any of them.

“ - Is this even legal? ” - You muttered, the giggle that leaked from Jennie’s throat reassuring that it wasn’t. Once again, before you could manifest your disdain, Jennie pulled you to the side, joining two of your friends. The third one, Lisa, appeared with a smile on her face and five plastic cups filled with beer on her struggling hands, handing one to each. You didn’t contest, you could sip from time to time, it wasn’t a habit anyway.

You couldn’t guess how many people were there, but all of them parted on each side of the road, leaving it empty for passages. The music was loud, and the amount of bodies almost touching yours made you feel nervous. You smelled the sweat, the alcohol and the drugs on the air, the atmosphere edged a rave, plus the fact of your eyes landing on faces that you could guess their ages varied from teenagers to way older adults.

You had your driver’s license, you had to : being too much of a chauffer to your four friends when they got too wasted to drive in late hours at night and called you to pick them up, so you wondered if you could escape with Jennie’s car.

- Look, there they are! - Jennie pointed at two men walking, and they seemed to be known between the millions of bodies that sided the road, judging by how you could hear screams and most of their eyes turning to their presence, as if they were divine themselves. Two men walking.

But one of them caught your attention.

It made your mouth run dry, your automatic breathing coming to a stop and your eyes glueing to his powerful stance. Not to mention his deadly gaze. He was there for a reason, and he would get his reasons done. The hair that was nicely slicked back out of his gracious forehead, the shine on his dark hair strands looked like they were wet, and how his jawline seemed to be sculptured to the right point made him look like a Greek ancient creature, if not God himself. The loose sleeveless black shirt he was wearing and the ripped over-washed jeans he sported made him look like somebody you wouldn’t mess with, let alone talk to.

“ - Wow. ” You muttered, catching the attention of Chaeyong that softly shoved her elbow against your ribcage, getting your attention but not your eyes, since the vision was as additive as it could be. She leaned over your shoulder, whispering but looking to the exact same spot you were.

“ - Kim Hanbin, 22, street racer. The other one is Bobby, Jennie’s booty call. They have been sleeping together for a good two months now. ”

Oh wow, that explains the countless nights were you didn’t see Jennie.

“ - The other one that is leaning over the matte black car is Junhoe, my booty call. ” - She smiled, moving centimeters away from you.

Needless to say, your eyes were glued to the figure that had just arrived, and by now was talking to the said Junhoe, grabbing the keys from the other’s hand and entering the driver’s seat.

“ - W-Wait, he’s racing? ” You looked to Chaeyoung, your eyes as wide as they could go.

Chaeyong just chuckled, nodding. “ - Oh baby, Hanbin is the main racer of iKon. Seven victories in a row. He has everyone’s attention up his ass. ” She winked.

Your mouth went dry, and you cupped the cold plastic harshly with your hands, taking a large ingulp of the liquid. Your tongue wiped the remains away from your tinted lips, your eyes glueing to the strong looking matte black car. You wondered if he cared how everyone seemed to be conspiring over his name, how everyone expected his win and how everyone stopped their party to watch him start the engine.

The car roared in a warning, a wave of black smoke hovering over the other cars and leaving their small chances of having confidence to dust. The show off was impressive, and now you were too much engaged into see how he could set the road on fire, because he looked promising.

A laugh was heard, and you supposed it came from Bobby that threw himself into the driver’s seat after pointing at Jennie. The girl looked proud, crossing her arms with a huge embarrassed smile painting her lips.

“ - Look at her, all rilled up. ” Lisa threw a lazy arm over your shoulder. “ - Fired up to see this? ” She raised an eyebrow, her now bleached grey locks resting nicely against her back.

You didn’t answer, your eyes glued to the black car. You froze on your spot when you noticed that said driver was staring right back at you, a emotionless unreadable expression coating his perfectly drawn features. He raised an eyebrow, a glint of a mischievous smirk resting on his lips, but you weren’t really proud of your vision, specially from this far away. Maybe it wasn’t happening, and if it was, maybe it wasn’t for you.

A girl, way too exposed for this cold, walked in between the set of four cars, holding a yellow flag on her hand. She looked promiscuous, the look on her face wasn’t denying it.

“ - Who are the other dudes in the other cars? ” Your question startled Jennie, who arched her eyebrows in amusement.

“ - The red car is Jimin, from west side of Seoul. The blue one, Baekhyun, from Busan. In the stipped black and red is Bang Chan, he’s Australian. Cute. ” She answered, not removing her eyes from the girl. You nodded, sipping once more and throwing the empty cup away.

The engines finally ripped the sound throughout the air as soon as the girl raised her hand. She screamed the number one with her high pitched but sexy voice, the number two following and finally, at three, she lowered herself and the flag, the cars storming through the road as aggressive animals. The black car ate the road as a meal, the smell of flint and burning rubber filling your nostrils as it took his way towards the city. Your eyes couldn’t see it anymore, and your heart drummed so fast against your ribcage that you thought it would break itself free.

“ BI LEADING THE WAY, I REPEAT, BI LEADING THE WAY. BANG CHAN JUST CATCHING HIS TAIL. ” A Male voice was heard over the music, reproduced by the same heavy columns that stood high over steel supports.

“ BI is Hanbin, he’s eating them alive. ” Jisoo scrunched her second cup, offering you one more beer. You took it without hesitation, sipping on it and making the girl laugh. Finally, you noticed the huge screens that were supported by the same base as the columns. It showed views of the city, and you wondered how the one behind this could install such cameras and not being caught. On the images, it showed the cars passing by traffic, your free hand coming to your lips when you saw how the black car was going in the wrong direction, dodging the cars that horned and stopped.

But nobody could stop him.

Nobody could stop him.

In minutes, the angry roar of the engine filled the air from afar, and your ears perked up from where the sound was coming. You didn’t hate it, actually, it filled your veins with electric adrenaline that you never knew you could possibly sense.

Your eyes didn’t even catch the moment when the black car erupted on the street, brakes screeching and the rubber from the tires burning against the concrete. The tail of the car twirled, a wave of smoke blinding you and everyone else that cheered on the driver that just arrived. All you could hear was loud screams of names that would set your turbulent late night house meeting to shame.

Jennie ran from her spot and came for a huge hug offered by Bobby as soon as he got out of the car, who lift her up in the air. Anyone else could mistaken the interaction by a loving couple, but they were simple as fuck buddies, judging by what you were told.

Finally, that magnificent man got out the driver’s seat, with all of his splendor and glory following him. He smiled in a lopsided grin, the most beautiful you have laid your eyes upon.

The girl that held the flag earlier walked holding a heavy bag on her hand, handing it to Hanbin with a flirtatious smile on her red velvety lips. He looked at her, winking and grabbing the bad, handing it to a new face. A man, seemed to be close for being in charge of carrying the prize out of the scene.

You stared in awe, being dragged by Chaeyong this time. You found yourself getting closer and closer to them, passing by corpses of cheering people that dispersed to find a closer spot to the music. You panicked, your eyes wide and your mouth unable to move and ask to be free of your friend’s grip.

“ - And who’s this little one here? ” Hanbin asked as soon as he laid his eyes on you, a smirk never leaving his way too tempting lips. His voice was deep and raspy, hoarse and attractive, like a bittersweet, melancholic and troublesome melody.

“ - Y/N. My roommate. She’s chill. ” Jennie leaned against Bobby's chest, who himself had his back against Hanbin’s car.

You kept quiet, not sure how to reply. You scoffed, a small ‘tsk’ leaving your lips. By the look on your face, you surely were not impressed, but by the way your stomach clenched, you damn were. He stared at you for a couple of seconds, as if he was absorbing all of your appearence and wondering why were you hanging out in a place that clearly you didn’t belong to. As if he was judging you.

But he kept quiet and nodded, the smile still resting on his lips. He moved his lazy irises towards Bobby, who got the signal and kissed Jennie’s cheek, whispering a low ’ see you later ’.

One last time, he looked at you and took a step further, being way closer you’d want, but being way far you’d need.

“ - Pleasure to meet you, call me BI. ”

[ettielle]

I just published "Chapter 2 - It Was You?" of my story "IKON's Muse🎙️". http://my.w.tt/UiNb/pf9m7IKoBC

[issatreeplant]

Hanbin’s ideal type: Scenario! (REQUEST)

“I still can’t believe he said your name y/n…. and isn’t he here today too??” my best friend and fellow group member, Seoyun, asked

“dude I don’t know… it’s weird as it is, stop bringing it up right before we’re about to perform” I nudged her aside so she’d get into position as the crew workers told us we’d be up in 5 minutes.

“oh my God… I can see him from here! IKON are sitting beside BTS!” my other group member, Jiwoo, began to point at Hanbin and my heart almost stopped.

“YA! STOP! If he sees you pointing do you know how awkward it will be?!?!” I whined as I tugged her arm down before anyone could notice who she was pointing at.

“why uh?? You think he’s cute?” the leader of our group, Minseo, nudged me as the rest of the members began to grin widely

“guys! Stop! It’s not like that!” I covered my face to hide how red I was getting.

“y/n you literally look like a tomato right now! It’s so obvious you’re crushing on him!!” they all giggled as I hid in shame

“alright girls you’re up in 30 seconds!” our manager walked up to us and snapped us all out of our conversation, just in time to perform in front of everyone.

We were here today to promote our comeback song, and I had to erase all aspects of hanbin out of my mind so that I could focus completely on the music. Even though he chose me as his ideal type, it may just be something he said out of the blue or because it makes good publicity. I needed to keep my head down low and my mind out from the clouds. There was no way he’d like me…. I had to snap back to reality and ignore my own pitiful desires.

The curtains opened and the music began.

My fellow members and I began to dance to the beat and sing our assigned lyrics. Our song was much more upbeat than our previous music, and had a good ring to it for the summer season. As we danced and sung, the other kpop groups sang and danced along as well. My eyes admittedly kept darting to where IKON was sitting and I realized Hanbin’s eyes locked on me throughout the music.

I felt my face heat up quickly so I averted my gaze and tried my best not to pay him anymore attention.

Once the song was done, Minseo took control of introducing us and letting everyone know about our upcoming music. The host of the show then asked us to sit in our assigned seats while the next kpop group got ready for their performance.

It was only then I had realized our seats were right beside IKON’s.

My group members nudged me every millisecond the closer we got, and I couldn’t help but feel awkward and embarrassed about it all.

I decided to sit on the seat farthest away from Hanbin as we all found our spots.

“hey y/n let me sit here, why don’t you take the seat over there? Im sorry but my legs are cramping and I need some space to stretch them out” Minseo said as she hovered over me.

I knew exactly what she was doing, in fact I knew exactly what all my fellow members were doing. If this lame attempt to get me to sit next to hanbin wasn’t enough to make it obvious, then their huge smirks and giggles were sure to give it away.

Since the next performance was about to begin the crew was asking us to hurry and take our seats. I had no choice but to obey to what she asked since she was our leader and I couldn’t make a fuss about this in such a situation.

I then sheepishly got out of the seat and slowly made my way to sit next to hanbin. My group members kept silently cheering me on as I sat in my chair. Dying would be an easier punishment right now…. Seoyun, Minseo and Jiwoo were making things so obvious I begged for this to be a terrible nightmare…. Anything would be better than how embarrassing they were being right now.

“hey”

I looked over as I heard him speak to me.

“h-hey…” I answered cowardly.

God he was perfect. From his perfect hair, to his chiselled features, tones body and perfect posture. I was star struck even though we had debuted around the same time.

I tried to stay composed, fiddling with the jewels on my skirt as I bounced my knee up and down while trying to look calm. The performance had already started, so a lot of people were dancing and singing along to the music (including my members), leaving Hanbin and I behind everyone else, completely isolated from any cameras.

“you look nervous” he spoke once more

I looked at him, watching his smile grow as he stared back at me. I didn’t know what to say. I couldn’t speak to him normally….. if only he hadn’t called me his ideal type… everything would have been fine.

“I’m not nervous” I lied

He let out a soft chuckle before leaning closer to whisper something in my ear. My body froze the second his shoulder brushed against mine and his face leaned towards me.

“you’re even prettier in person” he softly whispered before backing away swiftly so no one would notice what he was doing.

My nerves took the better of me and I covered my face to hide my embarrassment. He was definitely taking advantage of my awkwardness around him, and I didn’t know how to respond.

He watched me cover my face and let out another laugh before speaking once more, “you’re cute too”

I quickly put my hands down and started to clap for the performance that just ended, ignoring every word coming out of hanbin’s mouth.

My heart was racing at the speed of light and if I paid him any more attention I’d definitely fall for his trap.

I got up off my seat, copying the others as they gave the next group a standing ovation.  To be honest, I didn’t pay much attention to their performance but just this small distance apart from hanbin allowed me to take control of my nerves just a tad bit.

My plan was ruined the second Hanbin got up as well, clapping for the group but also unconsciously rubbing the side of his arm against mine.

I felt so stupid….. to think just this small contact was enough to send my nerves shooting to the moon…. I felt like I was admitting defeat before I even had the chance to battle.

“your performance was really nice” hanbin added as we continued to clap

“thanks, this performance was really good too” I tried to change the topic

“yea but I really liked your part the best” he was so casual while flirting that it made me wonder how often he’d done it before.

“that’s kind of you to say” I answered professionally

“you’re single right?” he asked out of the blue, catching me off guard

“I really don’t think that’s an appropriate question to ask” I kept my gaze away from his so he wouldn’t see how nervous I was right now.

“i’ll take that as a yes. Im sure you’ve heard that you’re my ideal type. How about you give me a chance to be yours?” His eyes were focused on me now, we sat back in our seats and waited for the next performance to begin.

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing from him right this second. This guy’s confidence was oozing out of him and it definitely caught my eye. He had this whole dominant feel to his presence and I couldn’t help but admire his ability to act so calm when asking such nerve-wracking questions.

“I’m sorry but I can-”

“she’d love to!” I was quickly cut off by Jiwoo, who seemed to be listening in on the conversation.

Hanbin and I turned our heads to see all of my fellow members raise their thumbs up in approval before adding more of their unnecessary comments into the conversation they were not invited to join.

“she’s obsessed with you! She’s only trying to deny it right now!” Seoyun added

“YA! No I haven’t!” I yelled while hitting her arm hoping she’d shut up.

“she won’t admit it but you’re her ideal type too!” Jiwoo whispered as the rest of my members began to nod their heads up and down in agreement.

Hanbin couldn’t help but laugh at their remarks, and I instantly felt my dignity falling down the drain as I watched.

“h-hanbin, they’re just teasing. Don’t take it seriously!” I began to explain

“no we’re not! She knows it too! Y/N stop denying the truth! It’s written all over your face! And what’s one date gunna do uh? Go for it!” Minseo ordered as the strong leader she is

I then turned back to hanbin to see him smirking at me. I couldn’t believe what was happening and I felt the need to pinch myself, hoping to wake up from this awkwardly, embarrassing dream.

“so how about it y/n? Go on a date with me?” Hanbin asked so politely that it made my heart flutter.

I couldn’t believe what was happening right now and my mind was spinning in circles trying to think of the best way to answer him. Hanbin was perfect….. I just couldn’t accept the fact he’d want me to be with him…..

And to be completely honest my members were telling the truth…. I did find him attractive but I never thought I’d have to actually admit to my feelings and accept them as reality.  

Jiwoo then nudged me, snapping me out of my thoughts. I turned to look at all my members eagerly anticipating my answer. I then looked back at Hanbin who was patiently waiting for my response as well.

“one date” I embarrassingly answered as all my members began to squeal out in happiness.

I covered my face in embarrassment as hanbin ruffled my hair.

“I’ll pick you up at 7 then” he replied as he smiled at me.

[issatreeplant]

What are we?: Chapter 25 - Park

Description & Previous Chapters 

"hey" Junhoe looked at me with his bright smile and tired eyes

"you sure you want to go out? you look so tired" I asked while I put my hand on his face and observed every inch to make sure nothing was wrong. He patiently stood infront of me, waiting for me to finish inspecting before we left for a walk out in the night

"i wont be able to sleep if you're on my mind. So this walk will help relieve my desires" he replied as his cheeks turned red and his gaze fell to the floor, unable to match mine. 

One of Junhoe’s many talents was embarrassing himself with his own words. 

I smiled and grabbed my hoodie so we could go out on our walk.

We decided to go to the local park by my house, it was dark but the streets were illuminated by the lights. Very few people were out, but the ones that were seemed to be all couples.

"wow i kinda feel left out of all the affection" Junhoe joked as we observed each couple either hugging or kissing or holding hands.

I chuckled, "is it better now?" i asked as i slipped my hand into his and intertwined our fingers.

His grip tightened as he looked at the ground and smiled, "much better"

The cold night breeze travelled through us, my hair flew back as the pressure of the wind hit my face, leaving it ice cold, and pink.

"jen hold on one second" Junhoe let go of my hand and started to take his jacket off

"wait no! Junhoe! im fine! you're going to catch a cold" i started to back away as he pulled me closer to put his jacket around me

"relax silly, im wearing 3 layers. im not cold" He then buttoned the top button on his jacket to keep the oversized thing from falling off. Once he was done, he stood back to see how it looked on me and couldnt help but laugh.

"i look ridiculous dont i?" I spun around to show off the look.

"you look adorable" He took my hand once more and started to walk us to the cotton candy stand.

"which one do you want?" he asked me as i looked at all the different colours of cotton candy and chose.

"that one" i pointed at the sky blue coloured one.

The nice lady handed me the treat as Junhoe paid.

"you two make an adorable couple" she said as she smiled at both of us

Junhoe and i instantly became awkward, our faces turned red from the compliment since this was the first time someone ‘acknowledged’ us. It was weird, and kind of uncomfortable but at the same time sweet and kind of her to say. It was a mix of a lot of emotions.

We both bowed before we started to walk away, escaping from the awkward atmosphere

"here" i ripped off a piece of the candy and put it in his mouth

We found an empty bench and decided to sit and rest our legs.

"you're awfully quiet today uh?" i said to Junhoe who was fiddling with his phone now

"oh really? i dont know, i guess i have a lot on my mind" he spoke but wouldnt look at me

"do you want to talk about it?" i asked and ripped some more cotton candy off to put in his mouth

"it's kinda hard to explain" he said while he opened his mouth to take the piece of cotton candy

"YA!! are you trying to eat my fingers too??" i laughed and flinched back from his bite

We both then laughed together and just looked at the star filled sky for a few minutes before i decided to say something.

"you know, it helps to talk about it" 

Junhoe let out a chuckle, "that's funny, coming from you"

I turned to him, and punched his arm "hey! that's not fair!" 

I played it off like a joke so that the conversation wouldnt get too serious. But he was right, I still didnt really do so well with ‘telling people my problems’.... I mean I did try to but it all kind of died off when....when hanbin and i stopped talking.

Junhoe then let out a very loud sigh as he stretch. I was suddenly taken back by the loud movement and shaken out of my own thoughts as i tried to understand what he was doing.

“hey jen...” Junhoe began to speak once more, “i dont think you’re ever going to smile without him uh?” 

“what? I dont know what you’re talking about Junhoe.... i’m smiling right now arent I?” I tried to play off his words as a joke, even though i knew exactly what he was trying to get at.

"That's it! I give up!! There is no way i'll ever be able to replace him uh?" He then looked my way, his eyes fixed on mine as his expression showed nothing but brutally sincere, hurtful sadness

I couldnt look at him now..... I knew exactly where this was going and i knew he’d want an answer to something i wasnt ready to speak about.

If this was what was bothering him, i kind of wish i never asked to know.

He let out another painful chuckle, "it's okay Jen, you dont have to say anything. i kinda knew from the start"

"No...." i cut him off, "Junhoe when im with you, you're the only one on my mind, im not thinki--"

"i kinda wish i was on your mind even when im not with you" He looked at the pavement as his cheeks became red once more and his eyes filled with pain.

"...... it will just take time......" i had no excuse, he always knew exactly what was going on in my head.

"Jen..." he turned his body to face me now as he spoke, "i know i have no right to do this. i know you havent decided on your feelings about me yet. But i've been holding back for so long.... i cant be so strong all the time..... im sorry"

He grabbed my face with his hand as the other brushed my hair back. I froze as his eyes closed and he moved closer to me. So many emotions were going through my mind. The right thing to do would be to push him away since i really didnt know how i felt about us. But nothing was working. My limbs wouldnt listen. My voice wouldnt speak. I couldnt resist.

He tilted my face and pressed his lips on to mine.

I shut my eyes.

At first my lips didnt move to the rhythm of his. But after a few soft playful nudges from him, i gave in. His kisses were long, slow and soft. The best way to describe it would be just to say they were a physical form of his personality. Shy at first, but as soon as he was comfortable, he stepped it up.

His hand massaged the back of my neck as he pulled me closer to keep the synchronicity alive.

His touch was so much different than Hanbins. I couldnt help but compare them. He savoured every moment as he consciously watched his choice of touch to make sure he didnt go overboard while maintaining a steady amount of pleasure. Whereas Hanbin, had an unexpected feel to his kisses. Doing what he desired and every time it made me feel electrified, as if i entered a different world from my own.

After a few minutes, we parted only a tiny bit as our foreheads rested on each other. Our breathing was heavy as we watched the cold fog leave our mouths.

My mind was going insane as i re-felt everything that just happened. I couldnt believe he kissed me. And a tiny bit of me wished it hadnt stopped so fast.

Junhoe's hand slowly slid off my neck and rested on his lap as his other hand kept hold of my hand.

"we should probably head back uh?" he said shyly 

I bit the bottom of my lip as he spoke. Still feeling his presence on them.

"yea..." is all i managed to say

[issatreeplant]

What are we?: Chapter 24 - One Last Chance

Description & Previous Chapters 

My alarm was ringing.

I heard someone groan.

I opened one eye to look at the face of the man who's warm body i was beside.

Junhoe was sleeping like an angel, he looked almost too peaceful to wake up.

My arm was resting on his chest, as his arms were wrapped around my body. I tilted my head to look at his soaking shirt that was now drying on my dresser. I rested my head comfortably on his side, feeling the soft skin he was blessed with.

He had noticed something off about me last night and kept refusing to leave my side. I was in a state where i couldnt be left alone and Junhoe thought it would be best to sleep next to one another. On any other day I would have freaked out sharing a bed with a guy but last night even i was afraid to be alone and besides it’s was Junhoe...... he was too pure to do anything stupid.

I looked at my phone screen and realized we'd been sleeping for far too long. It was time to get ready for work.

"wake up sleepy head" i spoke softly as i ran my hand threw his hair

He groaned once mores and rolled over to face the other side as he hid his head under the blanket.

"junhoe get up!" i started to poke his back, to tickle him awake

"5 more minutes" he whined as he engulfed himself deeper into the sheets

"oh my gosh Junhoe! You have 5 missed calls from your mom!!!" I lied

"WAIT WHAT!" He bolted up out of bed and grabbed his phone that was resting on my night stand

"im kiddinggg" i giggled as i looked at his messy bed-head hair and his puffy, innocent, morning eyes

"ya!" he yawned, "not cool"

He put his phone down and stretched his arms before realizing he wasnt wearing a shirt. He then quickly grabbed the covers and wrapped them around his body as his face turned red from embarrassment.

"relaaaxx, your shirt should be dry now. im gunna go get ready so feel free to use my room to get dressed" I stood up, and walked over Junhoe to get off the bed

I took some clothes from my closet and went to take a shower.

______________________________________________________________

"yummmm something smells amazing" I towel dried my hair as i walked over to the kitchen to see Junhoe cooking some scrambled eggs

"try some" He held out a spoon for me to taste.

I leaned in closer and took a mouth full of scrambled eggs. "oh gosh that's amazing!" i applauded as i sat on the kitchen counter, waiting for more

"i didnt know you were such a good cook junhoe!" the breakfast was so satisfying, i wish i could have more

"there's a lot you dont know about me uh?" Junhoe laughed as we grabbed our coats, getting ready to go to work

________________________________________________________________

We both walked into the practice room together, saying Hi to everyone we bumped in to

"look at your smile!" Jinhwan said as he waved at me

"your face is glowing too! Did something happen between you too?" Bobby teased

I looked at Junhoe who was as red as a tomato, which made me burst out laughing. Even thought all we did last night was sleep in the same bed out of necessity, it was still adorable to see how embarrassed Junhoe would get over the slightest things

My eyes darted around the room until they finally landed on Hanbin. He had his earphones in but it was clear that he had heard everything that was just said.

I put my coat away and grabbed the schedules for today. Walking over to everyone, i gave them their sheets.

As i held out the sheet for hanbin, he was hesitant in taking it. But after a few seconds of stalling he grabbed it softly and started to read it without looking at me even once.

________________________________________________________________

Work was surprisngly going very smoothly today. Junhoe was making sure nothing (and i mean nothing) could affect me in a negative way. He was always there to make sure everything was alright.

It was almost time to go home. Everyone started to hand back their sheets to me as i waited at the door. And once again, hanbin was the last.

He held his sheet infront of me to collect, but as i tugged on the side closest to me, i realized he wasnt letting go.

"do you still need it?" i asked as i looked at his expression.

Hanbin looked so warn out. His hair wasnt made, his eyes looked tired and his voice cracked as he spoke.

"will you talk to me just for a few minutes?" it sounded as if he was pleading

I turned my head to see Junhoe looking from outside the room. His eyes were focused on Hanbin. 

Truthfully, i was in a good place right now. Having Junhoe by my side allowed me to feel comfortable again. I felt safe around him and i didnt want to do anything to make him feel like i didnt appreciate his care for me. I wanted to show him i was also trying to move on.

"if it's not work related then i dont have time" i stated

Hanbin's grip loosened on the paper, enough for me to take it and file it with the rest.

His eyes traveled to where ever i walked. I felt bad for being so cold, but something inside of me also ignited.

For the first time since my mother passed away, i felt my personality finally blooming. I grabbed my coat, bowed at Hanbin letting him know i was leaving first, and left the building with Junhoe.

[issatreeplant]

What are we? - Chapter 18: LeeHi

Description & Previous Chapters

6:00 am

The door bell rings

I was already expecting him to come, so i quickly took my apron off, placed the pancakes on the kitchen table and ran to the door.

"Junhoe!" i smiled widely as i looked up to him.

"i hope i didnt wake you up" he scratched the back of his head as he held out a bag that had a bottle of maple syrup i had asked him to get last minute.

"no not at all! Im glad you remembered the syrup" i laughed, i took the bag from him and asked him to come inside.

"look's like you've been busy uh?" he smiled as he tapped the flour on my nose

I grabbed his hand and brought him into the kitchen to present the food i'd made for us. He walked around, observing all the mess i had created and the food on the table. His warm smile and cheerful eyes brightened my mood and i was excited to share breakfast with him today.

We both sat at the table and started to eat.

"hmmmm Jen! this is amazing!" he smiled widely as his eyes shut, savouring every moment of the taste in his mouth

"it is really good isnt it?? i outdid myself didnt i?" i laughed

but Junhoe's laugh suddenly became more silent as he looked around the room once more. I assumed he was looking at how different it was since the last time he was here. I had emptied out a lot of what was in the house ever since my mom died. There was just too many memories, seeing everything only brought me more pain. So i donated a lot of the things and kept a box with the most sentimental stuff in a closet in my room.

"so.... how are you now?" his concern for me had been something that warmed my heart yet made me feel uneasy. I didnt like lying to him, he could see right though it all. So instead, i answered as vaguely as possible, knowing well enough Junhoe was too kind to pry if he noticed i didnt want to talk about something.

"it's getting better as time passes" i cut into my pancake and shoved it into my mouth so that we'd stop talking about this.

I mean, i wasnt lying. Things are getting better. Im actually talking to people now. But i'd be lying if i said i dont have times where i feel like the world is closing in on me and im being immersed into darkness. I've also been getting really bad panic attacks lately....  but i havent told anyone about those.

We finished eating our pancakes and got ready to go to work, "ready?" Junhoe asked

"yup" i smiled

________________________________________________________________

Junhoe and i walked into the IKON practice room to where all the guys were. I'd been coming back regularly to work with them. Everyone finally stopped giving me special attention after i begged them to act normal. But...... the only thing different from before now was Hanbin. We hadnt spoken since a month after my mother died. He wouldnt look at me nor would he speak. Our relationship was now singled down to 'yes/no' answers. If we could be apart, we would.

"JEN!!! You're coming on the interview with us!!! It will be fun! it's like a variety show type thing! They wanted us to pick a couple members of the team to be on it and we got you in!" Bobby seemed so proud of his accomplishment, he was shaking me back and forth as he gripped my shoulders. The excitement was pouring out of him, and i couldnt help but laugh.

"slow down buddy! What are you even talking about?" i managed to say after Bobby had calmed down

"cant explain, too much to do! i have to go to the stylist right now!!" he looked around to find his stylist, "JUNHOE! take Jen to the dressing room! We all need to be ready soon!" And with that final command, he ran away

Junhoe got off his phone and walked up to me, "let's go" he smiled "go where? what's going on?" i was so confused yet no one was answering me

"it's just a simple interview with one of our sunbae's", Junhoe grabbed my hand, and guided me to the dressing room.

We moved passed a bunch of people who were rushing to each IKON member. Holding brushes, straighteners, clothing, tissues... practically everything. Junhoe tighened his grip on my hand so i wouldnt fall behind as he walked through the crowd and made it to the dressing room.

"here you go" He opend the door and walked me in, "oh... Hanbin... i didnt know you were here" Junhoe added as i walked in to see who he was looking at

Hanbin had someone fixing his tie as he buttoned up the ends of his sleeves. He looked at Junhoe, than me... and then our hands. He was staring at our hands.

I didnt know what to do, Junhoe's grip didnt seem to loosen either.

"it's fine. im about to leave" Hanbin spoke coldly as he took the tie from the stylist and started to tie it himself before he walked out of the room, completely ignoring my presence.

As he walked out, Junhoe looked back at him. His hand loosened once he was gone "alright well i guess i'll leave you to get ready"

i nodded and closed the door behind him.

_______________________________________________________

I wore my outfit after my makeup was done. It felt weird to get all dressed up once again, after so long.

I bowed and said thank you to all the stylists when the manager of IKON came in and told me to get into the car where everyone was waiting.

"jen! i think you're in this car with me!" Junhoe pulled me to the right direction and opened the car door for me

I got in and sat down, the seating arrangements were different for this car. There were seats on either sides, leaving the middle completely open. Once you sat down, you'd be facing someone sitting on the seat on the other side of the car.

I had my head ducked down while entering to avoid getting my hair messed so i didnt get the chance to actually see who the other passengers of the car were. As i walked into my seats, i did notice 2 pairs of feet, one was obviously a girls and the others belonged to a guy.

I looked up to match the shoes to faces and to my surprise it was LeeHi..... and hanbin. The sudden awkward environment made me feel uncomfortable so i began to scroll through my phone to avoid the obvious staring from hanbin and the curious look from LeeHi.

Junhoe came in soon after and locked the door, taking a seat beside me.

"oh Lee Hi! It's been a while, it's nice to see you!" Junhoe said cheerfully as he bowed his head to say hello

"Yeaa! It's been forever! i blame it all on hanbin! He never has time for me any more! I guess i got lucky when they told me i was a part of this interview as well!" She wrapped her hands around his arm as she spoke.

I decided to not look at the contact anymore because it secretly made me feel somewhat upset.

"you're Jen... right?" She asked me out of the blue 

I looked up, startled that the attention was on me now, "oh yea..." i said as she looked me up and down with a confused yet intrigued expression.

"your mom just passed right? i'm sorry for your loss."

"oh..yea... thanks" I awkwardly answered while I looked at Hanbin, who was completely in his own world. Ignoring everyone... and me, as he scrolled through his phone.

Once the car started, i realized that LeeHi seemed to be really close to Hanbin. They would laugh and joke about things they'd find funny on their phones and share it with one another. Her arm was locked around Hanbin's throughout the ride and he didnt seem to mind either. When we used to talk... hanbin did tell me about her. Apparently they've been close since his trainee days.... i just didnt know they were this close.

After about 30 minutes of awkwardly ignoring everyone, we heard the manager calling us

"alright guys we're here, come on out" he said as he opened our doors

Junhoe got up from his seat and left first. He held out his hand to help me out as well.

"thanks" i smiled, "i think i might die in these heels" i joked as i looked back to see Hanbin helping LeeHi out of the car as well.

Junhoe laughed and put his arm around my shoulders, "let's go inside then! dont want you dying on me" We walked farther and farther away from Hanbin and Leehi, who seemed to be taking their sweet old time at the car, taking selfies and joking around.

I didnt know why i was feeling this way, but i felt sick to my stomach every time i looked at them.

We met up with Bobby and Jinhwan who were already in the room getting miked.

"why is everyone taking so long? Jinhwan asked

As soon as he spoke everyone else seemed to enter as well..... except for hanbin and Leehi (ofcourse).

As i got miked, i tried my best not to pay attention to the ones not here.

"you ok?" Junhoe leaned over to look at my face as he patted my hand

"yea ofcourse, why wouldnt i be" i said as i moved my hand away from his and started to fix my hair as an excuse to stop the contact between us

"you look all gloomy" he stated

"im not" i smiled back to reassure him..... but something really was bugging me inside

"there they aree!!" Bobby smiled at Hanbin as he walked in, "oh! you were with leehi?? what have you two been up to" Bobby smirked as he joked around with them, while the rest of the guys laughed

"ya! quit it bobby!" LeeHi ordered as she sat down beside Hanbin who still hadnt said a word this whole trip to anyone but Leehi.

"alright guys! we want you all to participate in the tissue game! So we will split you into 3 groups and start asap!" said an overly excited host I was put in a group with Junhoe and Chanwoo. Bobby, Hanbin and Lee hi were in a group and Jinhwan, Dongyhuk and Yunhyeong were in a group as well.

The workers placed us all in order, each team side by side. I was placed first in our team, second was Junhoe and last was Chanwoo. Hanbin was standing next to me as he was first in his team, Lee Hi was second and Bobby last. Jinhwan was first in his team, then Yunhyeong and last Dongyhuk.

It was awkward to stand so close to Hanbin and even more awkward that we were ignoring each other like no tomorrow.

"alright guys, on the count of three i want you all to start! 1.....2.....3!!" I quickly grabbed the first tissue, sucking air into my mouth to hold the tissue on my lips without it falling. I quickly turned around and went on my tippy toes to reach Junhoe's mouth and placed it perfectly on his lips. He then did the same and passed it to Chanwoo who put it in the plate he was holding.

"WOW! Team A is on a role! Jen's working as a perfect leader to get her team to win!" Said the commentator who was hosting the show

I was moving fast and smoothly, i got so caught up in the game that i didnt realize how the other teams were doing. Until i heard the commentator....

"OH! HANBIN AND LEEHI! Their lips have made contact everyone!" he screamed while everyone either gasped or laughed 

I turned my head and saw Leehi blushing as she placed her hands on her cheeks to hide her red face. Hanbin was also smiling as he apologized to Leehi for the contact while Bobby yelled at both of them to hurry up and keep the game going.

"Jen! Come on! We can win this!" Junhoe snapped me out of my thoughts. I quickly moved my gaze away from the other team and went back to lifting the tissues.

they basically kissed.

"Annnd!!! STOP! Game is over!! Everyone count your tissues please!!" the commentator was much more excited than any of us as we patiently waited for the results.

"we got 13!!" said Chanwoo proudly as he held up the tissues

"we only got 9" pouted Bobby

"we got 12!" said Dongyhuk

"well then it's official!! The winner is Team A! Congratulations! We will treat you to a meal full of chicken and beef!!!"

Chanwoo screamed out of happiness as he hugged both Junhoe and I in a tight bear hug. Once he finally let us go, Junhoe turned toward me and held out his hands waiting for me to high-five them back.

"congratulations on our win... leader" he joked

I smiled, "thanks" We all sat back down and answered the remaining questions in the interview. My eyes kept darting toward LeeHi, who was secretly hiding her hand on hanbin's knee under the table.

There was clearly something going on.

And it took everything inside of me to ignore it and focus on the interview at hand.

_______________________________

As the interview ended, everyone got up to leave. The manager asked me to stay behind and help pick things up. I agreed and told Junhoe to go on without me as i worked.

It was now silent in the room. Empty water bottles and crumpled up paper were everywhere.

Something about the silence was peaceful, i finally felt comfortable. I sat on one of the chairs and closed my eyes to take in these few minutes of blessed silence.

"i was told to help you"

I opened my eyes as i heard his dry voice

"oh...y-you dont have to" i bolted up from my seat and started to clean once more as Hanbin hovered over me.

This was the first time we had spoken in ages and i felt so uncomfortable being alone with him that i couldnt even look him in the eye.

"it will get done faster if we do it together" he said as he got on his knees to pick up the trash as well.

We worked in silence. Not looking at each other. Not talking. Not doing anything that would cause us to come in contact. I worked on my side of the room as he worked on his. After about 15 minutes, LeeHi came running in.

"hanbin!! There you are!! We've been looking all over for you! Gosh get off the ground! You're an idol!!! Why are you picking up trash!" She seemed so disgusted by the sight of Hanbin working like this

She looked over at me next and focused her eyes on my face... something suddenly changed in her expression as she became all cheery and lovable once again. As if that 'disgusted' image of her's just disappeared from existence.

"oh Jen! you're here too uh? I would have helped too if Hanbin had told me he was coming to help you"

coming to help me? i thought he was asked to do this

"im not doing this out of choice" he cleared as he got up from where he was kneeling and threw the remainder of the trash away.

"oh silly! Always wanting to help the less fortunate uh! you're such a good person hanbin!" LeeHi cheered as she once again, wrapped her arms around Hanbin's.

I got up from where i was sitting, and wiped the dust off my face with the back of my hand. "you two should go. ill finish up here" I wasnt in the mood to see them act all lovey in front of me

"you sure? alright! Well we'll be going then. Let's go Hanbin" She turned around, pulling Hanbin with her. But as she walked out, she stopped at the door one last time to say something to me.

"hey Jen. We're actually going to lunch tomorrow. You should come. Bring Junhoe" 

And with that, they left.

[issatreeplant]

What are we?: Chapter 17 - Encounter

Description & Previous Chapters  A month has passed.

I'm out of food.

I need to go out. 

I slipped into my shoes and grabbed a hoodie to cover my head as i cautiously left my house. It was still pretty early in the morning so i wasnt too worried about bumping into anyone. 

I hadnt gone to school nor work in ages now, I was behind on so many things. But i've realized now that i cant hide from the world much longer. After all, i still need to pay for the hospital bills, and the rent, and food and practically everything.

I had to support myself now.

Which meant going back to work.

The plan for today was to grab a quick breakfast at the local corner store and head over to YG entertainment to resume my daily schedule. I had no desire to speak to anyone or to see anyone, so it was best if i went unannounced.

Hopefully this way i'd be able to avoid him.

I paid for the food with the last remaining change in my pocket and walked my way over to work.

Since it was only 6am, the halls of the building were empty. This gave hope to my plan of not being seen.

I quickly grabbed the schedule for IKON from the room next to the practice room to see all the duties that needed to be completed today.

Perfect.

All the tasks listed for today could be done without having to see the guys.

I quickly checked my name off to let the manager know i was in today and i grabbed the files and headed into the practice room.

A couple familiar faces noticed me in the halls as i walked, i kept my head down so i wouldnt have to talk to any of them

I made my way directly to the practice room and opened the door to escape from the eyes in the hallway (that were now staring at me).

"Jen..."

I looked up to the sound of my name........

"....h-hanbin...." My gaze met his.

His voice sounded as if he had just woken up, his eyes looked tired and his hair was untamed. He was wearing that hoodie he always wore when he was too exhausted to wear anything else. His overall appearance just looked tired.

"h-how are you? how have you been? i tried callin-"

"im fine" I suddenly felt a rush of uncomfortable anxiety flood my body. I moved aside to grab the things i needed from the room before i made my way out.

"you dont have to go. I'll go. Just work in here" He started to pick up all the sheets he had scattered on the ground and pack up his laptop

"no, i just need to grab something. im not planning on staying" I couldnt look at his face. I could tell he wasnt sleeping well. He was fumbling to much, making too many mistakes with his presence. He was always one to be confident.... and what i was seeing right now was the complete opposite. Maybe he was affected by her death just as much as i was

The shuffling of papers suddenly stopped. I turned his way to see him kneeling on the ground, looking aimlessly at what seemed to be lyric sheets.

".....im sorry....."

his words felt like knives cutting into my skin

"there is nothing for you to be sorry about" I looked through the notebooks to find the sheets i was trying to look for as quickly as i could.

"....if i didnt keep you back.....you....you could have been with her.....it's all my fault...." I kept my back facing him as i silently listened to his painful words. I could feel a lump forming in my throat.... this was exactly what i was trying to avoid.

"..i-i'm so sorry..." I heard sobs

I turned around to see him in the same position, but his body looked broken. His shoulders shrugged as he tightened the grip in his hands to form fists. His eyes were filled with tears now. And the lyrics sheets now had tear drop marks on them as well.

Seeing him.... almost reminded me of.... me.

He looked up as he noticed my gaze. Our eyes locked for a minute before he got up from his spot to face me directly.

His painful look, almost brought me back to my period of pain. But no matter how bothered i was by his words, i kept my face cold and dry. I was in no mood to share my feelings with anyone.

"im not asking you to forgive me..... just please.... if you need anything. Ask me"

Something inside of me felt like a match had ignited.

"If you can bring her back..... or bring the time back that i missed spending with her....." I instantly regretted my harsh words as i saw the new type of pain flooding Hanbin's face.

I was angry... and i took it out on him.

The door opened once more and we both turned our heads to the entrance.

Bobby, Chanwoo, Jinhwan, Junhoe all stood frozen as they noticed me. The playful conversation they had ended. Their mouths were partially open. Their faces looked as if they'd seen a ghost.

I couldnt take it.

I grabbed all the notebooks from the pile i was looking through and bolted out of the room.

I wasnt ready to face them all.