Sooner or later, the siblings gathered in the long living room to the side of the foyer. It was where the bar was, along with several shelves of books, two fireplaces - one with a painting of their long disappeared brother, Five, hanging above it - old and eccentric furniture and art along with many taxidermy animal heads.
Ripley, having greeted nearly all her remaining siblings aside from Vanya, nodded to her sister and walked up to the bar where Klaus was fixing himself a drink. Ripley poured herself another - what she promised herself would be her last, but she was probably lying - glass of whiskey and discreetly 'cheers'-ed her brother. The two chuckled quietly to themselves.
"Um..." Luther said, standing, "I guess we should get this started. So, I figured we could have a sort of memorial service in the courtyard at sundown. Say a few words, just at Dad's favorite spot."
"Dad had a favorite spot?" Allison asked.
"Yeah. You know, under the oak tree," when no one seemed to respond to that, Luther continued, "We used to sit out there all the time. None of you ever did that?"
"Nope," Ripley said, popping the 'p' as she and Klaus moved over to join the others. She sidled up behind Allison's chair, leaning an elbow on the back. She adjusted the collar of her rust orange flannel vest.
"Will there be refreshments? Tea? Scones? Cucumber sandwiches are always a winner," Klaus said, moving to the couch Vanya was sitting on.
"What?" Luther asked, "No. And put that out. You know Dad didn't allow smoking in here."
"Is that my skirt?" Allison asked.
"What?" Klaus said, "Oh, yeah, this. I found it in your room. It's a little dated, I know, but it's very breathy on the bits."
"Listen up" Luther ordered, "Still some important things we need to discuss, all right?"
"Like what?" Diego asked.
"Like the way he died."
"And here we go," Diego said, flicking his eyes to Ripley who rolled hers in turn.
"I don't understand," Vanya said as Klaus sat down next to her, "I thought they said it was a heart attack."
"Yeah, according to the coroner."
"Oh is that all?" Ripley sarcastically stated.
"Wouldn't they know?" Vanya asked.
"Theoretically."
"Theoretically?" Allison asked.
"I'm just saying," Luther said, "at the very least, something happened. The last time I talked to Dad, he sounded strange."
Klaus gurgled his drink," Oh, quelle surprise!"
"Strange how?" Allison asked as Ripley tried not to snort.
"He sounded on edge," Luther answered, "Told me I should be careful who I trust."
"Luther," Diego said softly, "he was a paranoid, bitter old man who was starting to lose what was left of his marbles."
Luther refused, "No. He must have known something was going to happen." He turned from Diego to Klaus, "Look, I know you don't like to do it, but I need you to talk to Dad."
Allison and Ripley both scoffed, sipping their respective drinks.
"I can't just call Dad in the afterlife and be like, 'Dad, could you just... stop playing tennis with Hitler for a moment and take a quick call?'"
"Since when? That's your thing" Luther argued.
"I'm not in the right... frame of mind."
"Translation," Ripley said between sips of her drink, "High."
Klaus laughed, "Well yeah! Yeah! I mean, how are you not, listening to this nonsense?"
"Well, sober up," Luther ordered, "this is important."
Klaus sighed in exasperation.
"Then there's the issue of the missing monocle."
"Oh god" Ripley groaned under her breath.
"Who gives a shit about a stupid monocle?" Diego asked just as exasperated.
"Exactly," Luther answered, "It's worthless. So whoever took it, I think it was personal. Someone close to him. Someone with a grudge."
"Where are you going with this?" Klaus asked.
"Oh, isn't it obvious, Klaus?" Diego asked, "He thinks one of us killed Dad."
Luther only grunted in response, leading to everyone in the near silent room realizing that Diego was absolutely right.
"You do!" Klaus said, surprised.
"How could you think that?" Vanya asked.
Luther was silent again, gears turning in his brain to combat the situation.
"Oh no," Ripley soothed, voice taking on a manic and passive aggressive sort of excitement, "this is interesting. Well, Sherlock, you've set the mystery in motion. You've gathered the clues. We are in a parlor room right now. Go ahead, reveal the murderer, detective. Who's your top suspect?"
Luther fumbled again with his words so Ripley interrupted him, "Someone with a grudge right? Is it Diego?" Silence for a second before she laughed again, "Is it me?"
Ripley took a few steps closer to her brother, grinning wickedly at him. "You know," she said, voice dripping with venom, "It could've easily been me. The way I left. All those contraptions of mine. I could've certainly found use for the lens of Dad's monocle. Could've easily been me. Could've been any of us right?"
"That's not what I'm saying-"
"You're crazy, man. You're crazy" Klaus said.
As Diego walked out of the room, Ripley and Klaus began to move in that direction as well.
"I'm not finished-" Luther tried as the other Hargreeves sisters began to stand.
"Oh well, sorry," Klaus said, "I'm just gonna go murder Mom. Be right back."
"Oh, let me come with," Ripley interjected, sending an angry look back at Luther, "I'd really know how to make it hurt."
"That's not what I was saying. I didn't-" Luther sighed, "Allison, jeez- That went well."
