DMs in the hypno community
I was reading a post from someone who either deactivated — or got deactivated — but who is basically urfavoritedad.
The post was about DMs in the kink community. And hey, hypnosis counts as part of that. Or maybe not. Who knows. But the post felt wise, so I figured I’d add my own two cents.
1- Respect the fact that not everyone wants to talk.
The original poster mentioned that the reasons can be endless. Maybe the person is tired, dealing with personal stuff, uncomfortable talking to strangers, already juggling too many conversations, or simply not interested in talking to someone new.
To that list I’d add that some people write posts and queue them (my current queue is 4 months long), so Tumblr can make someone look active when they’re nowhere near their computer.
It’s also possible English isn’t their first language, so they may feel more comfortable taking their time writing replies instead of responding instantly and stressing over mistakes.
And another thing: maybe someone tried to groom or phish them at some point, so now they approach random interactions with caution.
Related to that, they may not feel comfortable talking to someone with a brand-new profile, a ghost-looking account, or someone whose age is unclear considering the nature of the topics being discussed. Nobody wants legal problems.
2- If someone decides to talk to you, treat them like a human being.
Just because their posts are sexual doesn’t mean they necessarily want conversations to start sexually. Nobody exists purely for your sexual gratification or, as some people would put it in less elegant but unfortunately accurate terms, a “cum dispenser.”
Maybe they want to get to know you first, talk about limits, likes, dislikes, boundaries, and comfort levels.
Maybe at some point they are open to quick interactions, and if so, they’ll probably make that clear in their pinned post or on their blog.
Also: if someone took the time to write their likes, dislikes, limits, red flags, preferences, or boundaries in their profile or pinned post, respect that effort.
To quote the now inactive colleague: nobody wants to be dominated from the very first message without even knowing you. And if they do want that, they’ll tell you explicitly.
3- Sometimes conversations just aren’t rewarding.
Sometimes conversations simply don’t go anywhere. It’s like pulling a tooth: forcing it usually doesn’t magically make it work better.
Don’t get offended. Sometimes there’s just no chemistry. Don’t take it personally; you probably have no idea what’s actually going on in the other person’s life, and maybe it just wasn’t something that was going to work.
There’s also the issue that sometimes people genuinely don’t know how to continue conversations.
If you say “hi,” they reply “hi,” then you ask “how are you?” and they say “good,” it becomes pretty difficult for the conversation to go anywhere meaningful.
If you want to talk to someone, it can help to say something like: “I read your post and X part caught my attention” or “I saw your comment about X and it made me think about Y.”
You can usually tell the difference between a conversation with some kind of direction versus one that’s completely empty.
And look, I’m not saying every interaction needs deep meaning, but when there’s absolutely no purpose behind it, conversations tend to dissolve much faster.
Whether you were looking for a friend, a dynamic partner, a dom, a sub, a hypnotist, or a subject: sometimes people just don’t connect.
4- Speaking specifically about hypnotist-subject dynamics.
If you’re a subject: don’t assume a hypnotist is looking for subjects just because they post hypnosis content. Some people explicitly state in their pinned posts whether they are open to dynamics or not.
If you’re a hypnotist: don’t assume everyone wants to be your subject. Don’t be a predator. Sending inductions without prior discussion can come across as invasive, to put it mildly.
5- And while we’re talking about the hypno community: for the love of the all-seeing god, do not send spirals without even saying “hello.”
For some people spirals do absolutely nothing. For others, intense lights and flashing visuals can affect them pretty badly.
In some cases they can cause headaches, dizziness, or create problems for photosensitive people.
6- Respect people’s gender, pronouns, and boundaries.
If someone lists their pronouns, preferences, or limits, respect them. If they dislike certain things or don’t engage in certain practices, don’t try to pressure them into it.
And if you’re unsure, you can always ask politely like a functional human being.
7- If someone sends you sexual content — photos, videos, private conversations — don’t spread that stuff all over the internet.
8- Public fantasy does not equal automatic consent.
Just because someone posts horny, hypnotic, or fetish content does not mean they want to participate with you specifically.
There’s a massive difference between: enjoying a fantasy,writing about it,reblogging it,roleplaying it, and wanting actual personal interaction.
A lot of people engage with this content as fiction, aesthetics, catharsis, or mental exploration without wanting to turn it into a real dynamic with strangers.
9- Don’t use guilt or victimization to force interaction.
“You hate me because you didn’t reply.”“Nobody wants me.” “You’re cruel for ignoring me.”“I opened my heart to you.” “You made me feel used.”
That does not create intimacy. It creates pressure.
The other person is not responsible for regulating your emotions just because you talked for a while.
10- Triggers and post-hypnotic suggestions are not universal toys.
Do not assume that because something works on you, it will work the same way on everyone else.
And don’t assume everyone wants surprise triggers, files, inductions, or hypnotic language thrown at them out of context.
Even within the community there are people who: separate fantasy from reality,prefer negotiation beforehand, or actively avoid certain formats because of negative past experiences.
People come to these communities looking for connection, fantasy, exploration, or fun. Don’t turn that into an exhausting or unsafe experience for others.
Be weird on the internet. Don’t be dangerous on the internet.
✦ᛉᛋᛇ✦
