Me staring at a word doc at 2 am with red eyes, running entirely on caffiene and chocolate, typing a 2k word fanfic on HaruKazu : If you want something done right, do it yourself. Or something like that.
I don't talk about it much, or even really reblog from it, but I've been watching this great show called Cheer Danshi, and I'm in LOVE with KazuHaru!! It's such a cute ship!! So, here's my take on a confession between them. I hope you guys like it!
“Uh, Haru, can I talk to you for a sec?” Kazu looked uncharacteristically nervous, and he refused to meet his eyes.
“Is everything okay?” Haru asked. His mind immediately jumped to the worst. “Is your grandmother—?”
Kazu jolted a little, wide-eyed. “What?” He shook his head quickly. “No, no, it’s nothing like that, it’s just, uh…”
“What, then?” He frowned, tempted to check his forehead for a fever. “You’re making me nervous, Kazu, this isn’t like you. Are you sure everything’s okay? You’re not carrying something all alone again, are you?”
Kazu finally looked up, meeting his eyes. “I’m in love with you,” he blurted. His cheeks flooded with color. Panicked, he spun around. “I-I’m sorry! I, uh, I’ll just—”
Before Haru could say anything at all—not even a soft “what?”—Kazu was already sprinting away. Face hot and feeling more than a little dizzy, Haru stared off after him for a long time.
“He ran away?” He ran a hand through his hair, grimacing. “Didn’t even give me time to respond—not that I know how to respond…” Still muttering to himself, Haru made his way home, head spinning with thoughts of Kazu’s panicked confession.
How long has he been holding that back?
The next day, Kazu wasn’t at practice.
Haru wanted to say that he wasn’t relieved, but he was glad he had more time to think about what Kazu said. Although, missing practice was rather irresponsible with nationals coming up. He could feel their teammates’ eyes resting on him like lead weights, everyone endlessly curious about their missing captain.
“Haru,” Sho said, frowning at him, “do you know where Kazu is? His grandmother isn’t…”
“N-No!” Haru said, waving a hand quickly. “It’s not that, I think something came up today, but it’s probably nothing lasting. Uh, I mean, it might have been work, right?”
“Has he not spoken with you about it?” Ton asked, voice as soft as ever.
He shook his head. “N-Not really,” Haru hedged. They hadn’t exactly spoken since the night before. Haru hadn’t seen him since he ran.
“When you see him, tell him I’m annoyed,” Sho said, huffing. “The captain can’t miss practice whenever he feels like it, you know.”
“I’ll be sure to tell him.” If I ever manage to track him down.
Haru didn’t see him after practice, even though he stayed up late waiting for him. Kazu was staying with them for the time being, but he still couldn’t seem to find him anywhere. Finding his sister was easier, and she was avoiding him, too.
When he came down for breakfast the next morning, he was surprised to find his mom staring at the door with a worried and perplexed look on her face. When she noticed him, she smiled, but it was strained.
“Oh, Haru, good morning, dear.”
“Morning. Is something wrong?” He sat down, murmuring a quick thank you before digging in.
She hummed. “I’m not sure. Kazu just ran out of here like the building was on fire.” Haru fumbled his chopsticks, focusing on his rice determinedly, cheeks hot. “Honestly, I hope he’s alright. Do you know where he’s going?”
Haru kept his eyes down, unwilling to see his mom’s reaction. She remained silent for a long moment. When he risked a look, she was considering him seriously. He ate faster.
When he stood to leave, she crossed her arms. “Haru.” He stopped, but still couldn’t meet her eyes. “Whatever’s going on between the two of you, try to talk to him, would you?”
“I’ve been trying.”
He couldn’t find Kazu anywhere. And the one time he did see him, Kazu turned around and walked the other direction. Haru pursed his lips, staring after him. This was getting ridiculous.
The last time Kazu avoided him like this was when his grandmother took a turn for the worse. It was unsettling, not being able to see him whenever he wanted. He missed talking to Kazu between classes, eating together, laughing about this or that… He just missed Kazu.
The thought of distance growing between them was too much. He didn’t want them to grow apart, even if he wasn’t sure how to stop that from happening. It wasn’t like it bothered him that Kazu was in love with him.
It was… kind of nice, actually, knowing that his best friend cared about him that much. He’d never really had a girlfriend, but he didn’t think dating Kazu would be all that different from the way things were now. There would be kissing, which would certainly be different, but not necessarily bad…
He sighed and kept staring, even though Kazu was long gone.
He needed to talk to him.
Haru sat down on the floor in the guest bedroom, leaning against the wall and facing the door. Kazu wouldn’t be able to run forever.
He sat up when the door opened, but when Kazu saw him, he went red, muttering a quick “sorry” before turning around and hurrying away. Haru stood up, chasing after him.
“H-Hey!” Kazu was already going upstairs. “Kazu, wait!”
The roof was cold, but Kazu was already sitting down, facing away from the house. His knees were pulled against his chest. Haru stormed over, more irritated than he probably needed to be. Unwilling to lose what little courage he had, he planted himself in front of Kazu, scowling.
“What do you think you’re doing?” He crossed his arms. “Skipping practice, cutting class, ignoring me—at least let me answer you properly!”
Kazu kept his head down. “I don’t need you to tell me. I already know.”
“What? How could you possibly know my answer when I haven’t given it yet?”
Kazu finally looked up, eyes wet. “I know you better than anyone, Haru. I know you’re going to reject me. It’s okay.” He laughed, but there was no humor in it. Haru sat down, close enough that their feet touched between them.
“You can’t know that, because I don’t know,” he said, sighing. “I’ve been thinking about it since you told me, but I… I don’t know.” He sighed again, fidgeting with the hem of his shirt. “You’re really important to me, but I’ve never really thought about us being more than friends.”
Kazu looked surprised, but still a little teary-eyed. Haru bit his lip.
“Maybe, we could… try?” he murmured, plucking at a loose thread. “I think, as long as it’s you, I’ll be okay, Kazu.”
Even in the dim lighting, Kazu’s face looked red. “You… Sorry, what? I think I held my breath and started to hallucinate.” Haru couldn’t help it; he laughed. “Don’t make fun of me, this is hard!”
“S-Sorry, it’s just—you’re being ridiculous!” He wiped at his eyes, still giggling. “You’re my best friend; did you really think something like this would be enough to ruin things between us?”
His silence was answer enough. Haru huffed, shaking his head.
“Well, then, Mr. Haru, what are you suggesting, since you seem so sure of yourself?” Kazu crossed his arms, but he could see a smile tugging at his mouth.
“I guess at first we could take it slow?” Haru wiggled his toes, bumping Kazu’s as he did so. “Maybe go on a date or two? And, um,” he hesitated, face hot, “youcouldkissme,” he muttered under his breath.
“What? I didn’t catch that last bit.”
He shook his head; even his ears felt like they were burning. There was no way he could say it again.
“Come on, Haru,” he poked him with his foot, to probably waggling his eyebrows like a dork. “Tell me, Haru, please?” He kept poking him, then pushing at his legs, grinning widely now.
“You could kiss me!” He slapped a hand over his mouth, eyes wide.
Kazu blushed, the color seeming to creep down his neck, smile dropping as his eyes went wide. “Oh. But isn’t it—you’ve never…”
“Neither have you!”
“Well, yeah, but I’m in love with you,” he countered. “Are you okay with me being your first?”
Haru smiled, shrugging and rubbing his toes along the cold ground, shivering a little. “Like I said, if it’s you, then I think it’ll probably be fine.”
Kazu looked amazed, cheeks flushed and eyes wide. He leaned forward, moving slowly. “Haru, you’re amazing. You—You’re really sure?”
He nodded, too embarrassed to say more. Kazu pressed his legs down, crawling closer. Their eyes met and held. Haru held his breath, watching as he got closer and closer, and then his eyes were falling shut, and their breath was mingling.
As their lips touched, everything seemed to fall away. All that mattered was the warm press of Kazu’s lips against his, comforting and soft, if a little chapped from the cold. Haru leaned a little closer, but Kazu was already pulling away.
Haru shivered with the loss of contact.
“Holy shit,” Kazu breathed.
Haru nodded and licked his lips, still shivering. “We should go inside,” he said, rubbing the hem of Kazu’s shirt between his fingers, “and maybe we could try that again?”
Kazu laughed a little; the sound came out shaky. “That, yeah, that sounds,” his voice cracked. Haru smiled as he cleared his throat, “That sounds good.”
They walked into the gym, hands held between them, swinging a little with every step. They’d always walked in step, so holding hands was a lot easier than Haru thought it was going to be. It was more embarrassing than anything.
He was a little worried about the team’s reaction, but optimistic at the same time. They’d all been through so much together, that this didn’t seem like it would be too much.
Kazu bumped their shoulders together, winking. “Nervous?”
He shook his head. “Not really.”
As soon as everyone saw them, they started making a huge fuss. Haru laughed and blushed, feeling awkward, while Kazu preened and bragged, seeming to soak up the attention, drawing it away from Haru when he could. And then Coach walked in.
“What’s this?” she asked, unimpressed eyes dragging down to their hands. She smirked. “My, my, it seems like I’m going to need to give you a new goal, Kazu.”
Everyone jostled to get closer, trying to ask Kazu what she meant, but he just blushed and laughed rubbing the back of his head. Haru rolled his eyes. He couldn’t exactly say he was surprised.
“Idiot,” he said, fond in spite of himself.
“What does that make you, then, since you’re dating me?” Kazu’s eyes shone brightly.
Haru snorted. “A saint.”
“Well, Saint Haru, are we going to get started anytime soon?” Coach asked, an imperious eyebrow raised. “Practice should have started by now, shouldn’t it?”
“Y-Yes, Coach!”
Everyone laughed, even as Haru shooed them all toward the mats with Sho’s help. Kazu made a cursory attempt, but stopped and kissed the side of his head at the first opportunity. He squeezed his hand. Haru kissed his cheek before darting off to start stretching with the others.
Ton’s quiet laugh told him everything he needed to know about the look on Kazu’s face. Haru grinned.
