It's the shadow moon, so today I thought I would share some more of my shadow healing techniques:
Today I want to dive into the nature of negative self-talk and patterns of thinking, and how we can alter these patterns in our thinking.
I used to suffer with awfully negative self-talk. I would often repeat things that were awful in regards to myself, saying every day things like "I hate myself" for example.
I'm going to share with you a technique I created to alter these modes of thinking. It allows us, over time and with regular practice, to alter our thought patterns to better align with that which we wish to believe about ourselves.
First of all I would like to explain how this works:
Our brains naturally go down the path of least resistance when it comes to our thoughts, when we have extremely deep rooted negative patterns of thinking the brain will naturally go down this channel before it can come to terms with anything else.
Think for a moment that thoughts are like a river flowing from a spring, the river will naturally go down the path of least resistance to reach the ocean. What the aim is with this technique is to carve a new pathway in the mind so that the metaphorical river will flow down the one we consciously create, instead of the negative pathway. Unfortunately the river has very likely lodged itself into a very deep crevice, and as such we have to create an equal to larger crevice with our will power and determination to begin digging out the positive pathway in order for our thoughts to divert down it automatically.
The technique is a form of positive brainwashing, the idea is to brainwash ourselves into healthier thoughts. While this technique is very effective at reprogramming any negative self-talk, no matter how deeply ingrained, it does require continuous practice until it has done its work.
I am now going to share with you a rough version of my ritual in the hopes that it gives you ideas on how to make your own personalised version. The more personalised your magick is the better in my opinion.
Okay let's begin.
Some of these steps are optional so do what you want with them:
- Pick at least 3 nice things about yourself, it can be absolutely anything. It can be things that you don't even believe about yourself, but you wish you did, any idea at all that you wish to reprogram yourself with. At first though I wouldn't recommend picking loads as you don't want to overwhelm yourself as you are getting used to the practice. You can always make new versions or expand on it at any point once you've gotten into the habit.
- (Optional) Once chosen you can make a sigil to represent these ideas if you would like, but you don't have to. You can also add any other magickal tools into the mix like incense and/or candles.
- Once you have chosen and drawn your sigil (if you chose to make one), it's time to repeat those good things you wrote for yourself as if it were a mantra. Repeat them 108 times every day. This will take longer at first but ends up taking about 15 mins to complete once you've gotten the hang of it.
- If you have meditation beads these will help with the counting but if not then counting on the fingers is completely okay, just remember to mark a tally on a piece of paper every ten chants so you don't forget where you are.
- (Optional) If you created a sigil, once complete you can release this in any way you feel is best for you. The easiest is probably via lighting a candle and carefully burning it in the flame.
Over time your mantra will seep into the subconscious so when the intrusive thoughts randomly pop up, you force yourself to combat it with the mantra, over time this becomes almost automatic.
Eventually that even stops, you won't have to sing the mantra anywhere near as much cause you will glow the very things you have been reprogramming yourself with.
The idea is to keep at it for as long as it takes, it might take quite a while if the negative pathways are very deep, but it just takes practice and determination to carve out a deeper more beneficial path for the thoughts to go in. I think of it like doing workout reps but for your brain, it works in a similar way by building strength and creating big changes through a regular regime and repetition.
Yesterday was super busy and I didn't have time to post this here... sorry! Just a slice of domestic kataang/cloud-family life, written for day 6 of @kataang-week, "Quiet Moments/Healing Techniques."
Read on ao3 or ffn, rated T
Sunlight filtered through the curtains of their bedroom, but even Aang didn’t stir. He and Katara were sprawled on their bed, limbs heavy with exhaustion, with a teething Tenzin between them, still half-latched onto his mother’s breast. His eyes were closed, but if his parents dared to move him even the slightest bit, he would wail and wake his siblings and the chaos would begin again. They’d learned this the hard way—twice—during the night.
Tenzin had shown signs of teething for weeks but everything had come to a head the previous day, and he’d been inconsolable. None of their other children had been this distraught at the eruption of their teeth, and Aang and Katara were at a loss. They tried everything. Katara had kept a steady supply of ice wrapped in cloth for him to chew on and numb his aching gums, but it only lasted so long. She’d tried mixing some herbs for pain relief. Aang had offered him all his favorite toys, including a special Air Nomad teething pendant he had carved for him (just as he had for their other children). When Katara’s herbal pain relief wore off they tried a traditional Air Nomad remedy—a paste made from flowers that grew among the Patola mountains. They both took turns carrying him everywhere swaddled against their bodies as they went about their duties for the day, but nothing worked.
Tenzin hadn’t napped for more than ten minutes straight, either, which only worsened his mood. The only thing that seemed to help for any period of time was nursing. The suction gave him some relief, and the skin-to-skin contact offered comfort, but he didn’t always want the milk that came with it, and he kept spitting out the fake rubber nipple she offered, which he had previously taken to with gusto.
When nighttime came, Tenzin was still unable to sleep. He tossed and turned; every movement inciting a new round of screams from his tiny body. His temperature was rising, and Katara had taken him out of bed at one point to give him a lukewarm bath. When his screams woke Kya, she wandered into her parents’ room, rubbing her eyes with chubby little fists, asking what was wrong with the baby.
“He’s just getting his teeth in,” Katara explained gently while she bounced and rocked a fussy, nursing Tenzin. “It can hurt quite a bit, though, and crying is the only way he can tell us something’s wrong. Unfortunately there’s not a whole lot we can do to make him feel better.”
“You didn’t like getting your teeth in, either, Penguin,” Aang chuckled sleepily from beside Katara before getting up to walk Kya back to her room. Katara could hear his joints popping as he stretched. “Bumi kept asking if he could sleep outside so he wouldn't hear you cry. I’m sorry you got woken up. Do you want another story or a cuddle?”
“Yes, pease, Daddy” she mumbled as Aang scooped her up. “Feel better, Tenzy,” Kya called in concern over Aang’s shoulder. Despite her exhaustion, Katara smiled at them as they walked out the door and down the hall. At some point Aang had returned and they had both fallen into a fitful semblance of sleep, creating a protective nest with their bodies around their youngest son.
Now, Katara’s heavy eyelids fluttered open out of habit (and against her will); this was the time in the morning when Tenzin normally woke for the day, demanding to nurse and unable to fall back to sleep. Her stomach grumbled. Even though Tenzin showed no signs of stirring after such a long, sleepless night, and she knew he needed the sleep, her body wasn’t going to allow her that luxury, it seemed.
Her stomach complained again, louder this time, and she heard Aang inhale sharply. Even with his eyes still closed, she could see that he was waking up. Every muscle in his body flexed and stretched as minimally as possible so as not to wake Tenzin, and his face started to scrunch up to block out the sun that was shining directly onto his face. Finally, he sighed heavily and peeked one eye open.
He smiled when he saw Katara staring back at him. They didn’t often get these early morning moments together anymore, now that they were parents. Bumi, Kya, and especially Tenzin were early risers like their father (although Bumi had become less-so as he grew older), so it was rare for Katara to wake before one of the children. Instead, she woke to them, immediately having to put on her mom hat and get right to work with Aang to keep them safe and fed and learning and in line. So she cautiously stretched and breathed in the silence.
Until her stomach growled a third time.
Aang stifled his laugh with his hand, and ever-so-slowly crept out of the bed. “I’ll go get you something to eat,” he whispered, kissing her forehead. “You’re going to need to eat everything in the kitchen after all the nursing Tenzin did last night.”
Katara chuckled and nodded in agreement, looking at the sleeping infant. His breathing had evened out significantly in the last few hours, and he seemed to finally be in a deep enough sleep that she could try to move away from him. “Can you hand me Tenzin’s pacifier?” she asked quietly. He reached over to the bedside table and passed it to her. She smiled at him in thanks as he tiptoed out the door, cushioning his steps with airbending even more than usual.
Nervously, Katara slid her finger along Tenzin’s lip to unlatch him from her breast and quickly replaced her own nipple with the rubber one in his mouth. He pouted a little, but his eyes remained closed (thank the Spirits), and soon enough he settled back to sleep. He had really worn himself out.
As silently as possible, Katara got up from the bed and changed her clothes, and did a quick wash-up with her bending water without leaving the room so she could make sure Tenzin didn’t roll off the bed. She breathed a sigh of relief at no longer smelling of sour milk—at least for the next couple of hours. She had just finished combing her hair when Aang walked in with a plate of cut fruit, some jook, and tea to share, and a bag of seal jerky for Katara on a stone tray.
“Thank you,” she whispered, standing up to kiss his cheek as he set the tray down on her vanity. Aang wrapped his arms around her, wordlessly trying to offer her some strength after such a depleting day, with no restorative sleep.
Katara found herself melting into his embrace for a long moment, as the sparrowkeets sang their morning song outside their window. She inhaled his comforting scent one more time before separating to sit down to her morning feast.
Aang gathered a few cushions and they made a makeshift table out of her vanity stool as they sat cross-legged on the floor, eating quietly together. Katara couldn’t remember the last time they’d shared breakfast, just the two of them.
“Where are Bumi and Kya?” she asked suddenly. They were usually up by now.
“Still asleep,” Aang said, laughing softly when Katara’s eyes widened dramatically. “I checked on them while the jook was cooking—I think they got about as much sleep as we did last night, with all of Tenzin’s crying.”
“Ugh, you’re right. Hopefully they’ll sleep late and catch up on their rest.”
Aang nodded as he took another bite of his breakfast. They sat in near silence for a long time as they finished their food and tea. Only the sounds of their spoons scraping the bottoms of their bowls, the clank of the teacups when they set them back on the tray, and the sparrowkeets in the background filled the air. Occasionally Tenzin would snuffle and whine, but he remained thankfully, blessedly asleep.
When they finished their meal, Katara scooted around to lean against Aang, keeping her eye on Tenzin. Aang wrapped his arm around her and squeezed gently. Now that they had three kids to take care of, it was even harder to find time and energy to reconnect like this, but Katara could always feel his love for her in his touch. Even if their only interaction for the day was when he kissed her goodbye before going off to a day of meetings, it never felt routine or normal; his kiss was always so full of his feelings for her. His hand on her back could take her out of the moment and remind her just how much he cherished her.
It wasn’t uncommon for the two of them to communicate through touch this way, especially since they’d become parents. A certain look and a squeeze of the hip could say “I want you” more deeply than words ever had. A gentle hand to the face could say “I’m worried about you” more clearly. A hug could say so many things, depending on the tightness, the length, where they put their hands…
In this moment, Katara could feel Aang’s touch saying something like, “that was hard, but we made it.”
Katara nuzzled her head into his chest to say, “I don’t know if I could have made it without you.”
Aang’s chest shook as he laughed silently in agreement; he knew he couldn’t have made it without her. Through almost anything in this life. He pressed another kiss to the top of her head.
Despite their lack of sleep, this quiet moment together recharged them, as the other’s presence always had. During the war, just having Katara by his side gave Aang strength and hope. Aang’s presence did the same for Katara. So when the sounds of Bumi clanging around in the kitchen looking for breakfast reached their ears, and when Kya stumbled sleepily out of her room, and when Tenzin’s cries filled the air again… they knew they could handle it—all of it—as long as they were together.
As inexperienced as I may be, i'd like to share what experiences i do have and hopefully get a dialogue and such about it.
Im not specifically referring to bonfires or candle magick, but fire manipulation/performance related magick.
In the area of Flow Arts/Object Manipulation/Fire Manipulation ive been studying for almost 3 years now. Here in Florida we have a large community of Object and Fire Manipulators. I had a very wonderful insight with one who is also Native American. (Forgive me for not knowing specifics of her culture and heritage, for it was a bit ago we discussed it.) And she explained that she is a prominent healer, from chakra, massage, and more. Spends much time clearing the strands of negativity off of others so they can let the light in. These sticky spider web of strands however... get stuck to her. And her healer she goes to for herself is quite a plane trip away. So her solution: fire performing. Her own sacred ritual that can be shared with a crowd. You lose yourself to the flames, and slip into a meditative like state when expressing ones self with the props. She said it felt as if those webs were being burned away. And a huge weight is lifted from her. And if it wasnt for flow arts and fire manipulation, she wouldnt be nearly as well as she is now. And can continue to help others feel better physically and spiritually.
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