Joker in this scene gave me such gay panic its insane.
i feel like Joker’s sub (i mean this in like a relationship dynamic way) so i wrote that way
a/n: i personally feel like Joker is not completely cis. he just seems like demiboy maybe. i used to think i was demiboy so i know how hard it is to explain what it feels like. thats what this is about and they’re coming out to you. in this, Joker’s pronouns will be he/they, but in the beginning, just he/him because the y/n doesnt know yet. reader can be trans or not, nothing is mentioned specifically for one or another.
You and Joker were sitting on the couch and had been talking for hours, just enjoying each other’s presence. It was getting a little late, so both of you were growing a bit tired. At least, that was your guess as to why you had both stopped talking. Joker seemed like he was… nervous?
You’d never seen him like this. He was trying to hide what he was feeling, but you could see that something was going on. You felt the need to be closer to him, as you two were sitting around 3 feet away from each other. You waited to move or say anything and further examined him.
He usually moved his mouth frequently, but right now, things were different. He looked like he was attempting to say something a couple times, but stopped himself. He was looking down at one spot for a long duration of time. You were worried, so you decided to talk to him.
“Hey, Joker,” you spoke, breaking the silence.
He looked a bit startled, but didn’t look away. He licked his lips.
“Yes?” Joker replied.
Now you were sure he was out of it. Any other time you would go to ask him something and get his attention, he’d reply with “yeah?”, but never “yes?”.
“Are you okay?” You asked, trying to mask a bit of the concern in your voice so that he didn’t feel bad for worrying you. “You seem… I don’t know… off?”
“I’m fine, I just…” He started, before his tongue darted out to lick his lips quickly. “I have something to tell you.”
He looked… a bit pained? This was worrying you. You had never seen him like this.
“O-okay,” you told him.
He hesitated. His leg bounced lightly. Silence followed what seemed like forever as he debated what to say, how to say it, and if he should say it at all.
“Joker,” you said, waiting for him to tell you.
You wondered what he could possibly have to tell you that he was having such trouble saying. For Joker, he was worried you wouldn’t accept him. He already worried about you leaving him, so he was sure this would make you leave.
Joker took a deep breath, finally deciding that he needed to tell you. He needed someone to know, and no one did currently. He had no one else to tell. He knew he had to, but he was afraid. He licked his lips briefly and then started.
“I… I know you probably, uh, won’t love me once I tell you this but, uh…”
You moved so that you were sitting next to him. He looked up at you, averting his gaze from that spot on the floor for the first time in a while. You placed your hand in his and looked at him.
“Nothing will ever make me stop loving you. Nothing,” you told him, attempting to make him more comfortable.
Joker wasn’t sure about that, but you were helping him at least a little. He looked back down and took a breath.
“I… I don’t fully understand it myself, really…” Joker started nervously. His mouth twitched slightly. “I just… I don’t entirely… feel like-like a man…”
That’s what this was about. You felt a wave of relief, knowing there wasn’t an issue.
“Oh, okay,” you replied. “That’s okay. I really don’t give a shit. I love you no matter what.”
Joker hesitantly looked up at you. He was pleasantly surprised by how accepting you were being.
“So, what do you feel like?” You asked, wanting to know more about it.
Joker looked down again, not sure what to say. He searched for the right words to explain it. You gave him time.
“I just, uh… mostly feel like a man, but another part of me… just, uh, doesn’t.”
You nodded. You tried to understand.
“What does that part feel like?” You asked, hoping you weren’t making Joker uncomfortable.
“Hm…” Joker started. He felt it difficult to explain, especially since he didn’t know there are more than 2 genders. “That part just… doesn’t seem to have a gender… which, uh, doesn’t make much sense, I’m sure, but… that’s the best I can do.”
You thought for a moment.
“No, it makes sense,” you told Joker. “You do know there are more than 2 genders, right?”
This surprised Joker. He looked a bit confused.
“Really?”
“Yeah,” you replied. “There are a bunch. I know a lot about this kind of thing. There are people who feel like both or neither male or female and they’re called non-binary. That’s a term for a lot of things, basically just anything that’s not strictly male or female.”
You were starting to rant a bit, but Joker quite appreciated it. He thought on it for a moment. You continued.
“The thing you mentioned about feeling like part of you doesn’t have a gender- that’s called agender. But, I think because of everything you said that you’re demiboy, maybe. That means that you’re partially a man but partially something else, which in your case, is agender.”
You were always one to rant, and it embarrassed you a bit, but you saw that Joker was quite intrigued to know what you were telling him. He was quite engaged with what you were saying. He thought for a moment.
“That, uh, sounds right for me,” Joker told you.
You nodded.
“So, what pronouns do you like?” You asked.
Joker looked confused.
“Right,” you said, recalling that he hadn’t even known what non-binary meant. “Some people use they/them pronouns or a combination of those and others. Like some people use he/they pronouns, so people would say both interchangeably when talking about the person.”
You stopped as you watched his face light up a bit. You could tell he had quite liked what you’d said.
“Does that interest you?” You asked him.
“I, uh, I’m not sure, but that sounds… right,” Joker responded. “Could you, uh, try he/they for me?”
You smiled a bit and began to stroke their hand with your thumb, grasping his hand a bit tighter.
“Of course, J.”
“Thank you,” they said, licking his lips quickly.
“No problem,” you said, giving them a quick kiss on the cheek. “If anything changes, just let me know, okay?”
They nodded.
“Thank you for trusting me with this. I’m proud of you for that. I know that was hard for you, but just know that I’ll always accept you for who you are, no matter what.”
Joker smiled a bit and you cupped their cheek and gave him a kiss on their scarred lips. You loved the way it felt when you two kissed. It was a bit surprising how good Joker was at kissing at first, but the more you had done it, you got used to the bliss of kissing them.
You pulled away just enough to touch foreheads.
“I love you, Joker,” you said quietly.
“And I love you, too,” he replied.
You gave them a quick kiss and then a hug. You were so glad that he had been comfortable enough with you to tell you how they felt. You smiled at the thought of that.
You know it was coming, so here it is: THE JOKER I've added 25 Easter eggs, can you find them all?? ( Well, 2 on the top have been kinda cropped out though) . . . . . #tonytzanoukakis #tony_tzanoukakis #tonytzanoukakisart #thejoker #joaquinphoenixjoker #joaquinphoenix #dccomics #dcuniverse #killingjoke #thedarkknight #jokerfish #jacknicholson #heathledgerjoker #haveyoueverdancedwiththedevilinthepalemoonlight #whysoserious #markhamill #instagram https://www.instagram.com/p/B5JDqnJh0wV/?igshid=qzq3ul43hij5
The full costume, planned when I didn't think it was going to be 70°F at the end of October. #Joker #Halloween #costume #cosplay #heathledgerjoker https://www.instagram.com/p/B4FC6puB8Mo/?igshid=1qlzzze72aemp
Had the absolute pleasure of tattooing Heath Ledger’s Joker, 100% single needle. Really enjoying the single needle stuff, thanks so much to Alice for the trust, patience and the awesome portrait idea. [email protected] #blackworkerssubmission #btattooing #blackwork #dotworkwork #heathledgerjoker #portraittattoo #dotwork #singleneedle #singleneedletattoo #joker #blacktattoo #tttism #blkttt #tattooistartmagazine #skinartmag #tattooart #tattoolife #blackink #darkart #realismtattoo #singleneedlerealism #leedstattoo #leeds (at Easy Tiger Tattoo Co)
