SUMMARY: after ferrari’s golden boy crashes in order to save his teammate, he is stuck at the hospital with burns all over his body. between long shifts and the hospital’s desolation, he brings a light in your life that is hard to forget once he’s free to go home.
WARNINGS: feat enhypen RIKI and JAKE. hospital settings, medical terms, mentions of car crashes, blood, burns, mentions of death (brief description, not detailed), mentions of abusive parent, medical conditions, lmk if more. NOT PROOFREAD.
a/n: i believe this could’ve turned out better but i wanted to publish my babies (i’ve been writing them since this summer) so please lmk your thought and opinions!! 🩷🫶 RIKI’S SEQUEL IS OUT!!
The emergency room had seen chaos before, but tonight felt heavier.
It started with sirens, loud and insistent, even through the thick hospital walls, and a nurse rushing in with wide eyes and a shaking tablet.
“Two criticals inbound, Formula one accident. One with full-body burns and head trauma, the other with a compound leg fracture and suspected internal bleeding.”
You didn’t look up until the gurneys were rolled in. The automatic doors swung open with a hiss, letting in two stretchers, wheeled fast.
The first man on the left stretcher wasn’t moving, blood was matting the dark fringe of his hair, and his face was pale under the running crimson.
His racing suit, at least, what remained of it, was slit down the middle already, soaked through.
The other one was conscious, barely. He was moaning low, his gloved hand clutching at his stomach.
His helmet was off, but there were burn marks curling along the side of his jaw, climbing his neck like vines. His left eye was bloodshot, and blood was crusting near his temple.
Someone called names, the trauma doctor barking orders, nurses scattering.
"Male, in his twenties, suspected third-degree burns, signs of cranial impact, get a scan, now!”
You walked beside them, flipping through the patient file as quickly as it populated.
Blood type, height, weight, nothing else yet. No names. Just codenames and a tag: F1 INCIDENT – NIGHT PRACTICE RUN.
The burn patient was rushed straight into the burn unit. The younger one too, the boy, he looked like a boy, no older than nineteen, with a mess of internal damage. You heard the word “rupture.” Someone else said “splintered bone.”
The moment the doors shut behind the burning team, you exhaled and leaned against the wall.
“Oh my God.” One of the nurses beside you whispered. “That’s Lee Heeseung and Nishimura Riki… holy shit.”
You blinked. “Who?”
The girl stared at you like you had three heads. “Heeseung? He’s like… a living legend in F1. He won Monaco last year blind in one eye… you seriously don’t know?”
You shrugged. “Not really my thing.”
She shook her head. “Well, it’l be now.”
And in fact, two hours later, you were re-assigned.
“Y/N, you’ll be in the burning unit monitoring, in a private suite.” The charge nurse handed you a clipboard. “VIP patient.”
You glanced down at the name, written in capital letters: LEE HEESEUNG
The report was horrifying, with skin grafts that started on both arms and his left shoulder, smoke inhalation damage that would be treated by manually removing it with a tube in the lung.
Followed by a nasty concussion with swelling that had the neurosurgeon double-checking his pupils every ten minutes, and last but not least a multiple rib fractures from the crash impact.
He’d been put in a medically induced coma for the first few hours, and the sedation wouldn’t wear off until sometime tomorrow. You’d be there to monitor vitals, manage the IV, prep for re-evaluation.
His room was on the east wing, he kind of suite reserved for politicians or royalty.
You slipped inside quietly. Heeseung looked worse now that everything was cleaned up.
The bandages made it more real, he gauze that circled half his head, the IVs in both arms, the oxygen line.
You adjusted the chart at the foot of his bed, but there was a whisper of movement behind you that distracted you.
The man that stepped in wasn’t that tall, with tousled hair and hoodie slung half-off his shoulder. There was dried blood on his jeans.
“Are you the nurse assigned to Heeseung?”
You nodded. “Just got here, are you family? Visiting hours are over.”
“I’m the— uh, manager. My name’s Sim Jake.” He extended his hand, but it trembled, so he dropped it. “Sorry, I— fuck, I can’t think. Is he stable?”
You nodded slowly. “He made it through all the check ups without surgery. He’s sedated, but stable. We’ll have to monitor him for the next 24 hours very closely, especially with the head injury.”
Jake exhaled so hard his shoulders dropped. “And Riki?” he asked quietly.
“From what I heard, he’s still in surgery.”
He pressed his palms together, his eyes were red-rimmed, like he’d been crying or lacked sleeping “They said it was gonna be a regular night, y’know? pre-race laps. Heeseung didn’t even wanna go.”
You stayed quiet. You’d seen people talk to cope, and you learned how to let them.
Jake stared at the bed, at Heeseung’s unconscious body, and then sat down heavily in the corner chair.
“There was a malfunction,” he said slowly. “In Riki’s brakes, his car didn’t slow down on the fourth turn. It’s a corner he usually takes at normal speed, but he went full throttle tonight, he really wanted to impress everyone.” he swallowed, “he didn’t know. Couldn’t have, there was no control. He was headed straight for the barricade, and spectators were there… families with kids.”
You frowned slightly, brows pulling.
“Heeseung… he saw it. He was in front Riki but he saw what was about to happen, he heard it from the communications radio,” he sighed “so he— he pulled out of line, he s werved into his path.”
Jake’s voice cracked. “He used his own car to stop Riki’s, took the hit full-on, it exploded on fire on impact.”
Your throat felt tight. You glanced at Heeseung again, this time a little different.
“He sacrificed himself,” Jake said, hands fisting in his lap. “To stop Riki from plowing into the stands.”
You didn’t know what to say. You didn’t know how anyone could choose that kind of pain on purpose.
“He’s gonna live, right?” Jake asked, suddenly boyish. Less like a manager and more like a friend.
You nodded slowly, gaze still on the man lying in the bed. “We’ll do everything we can.”
🏁.
He slipped in and out of consciousness through the long stretch of the night, a haze of morphine clouding over his expression every time he stirred.
Most of it was just moaning, incoherent words under his breath, sometimes Riki’s name.
other times it was just soft whimpers, sharp exhales that caught against his bandaged ribs.
Once, around 3:40 AM, he jolted awake with a short cry and tried to move. His hands jerked upward instinctively, maybe to protect himself… maybe reaching for a steering wheel.
You had to catch his wrist gently and murmur softly until he settled again. “It’s okay,” you whispered, thumb brushing over his knuckles. “You’re safe, you’re not in the car anymore.”
His eyes fluttered beneath bruised lids, and for a second, he stared right through you.
His lips parted, dry and cracked. You held a straw to them and helped him sip water, watched him wince even from that tiny effort, and then he was gone again.
Back into the warmth of sedation, head rolling softly to one side. Morphine dripped slow into his IV. You monitored the levels and checked the rate. You replaced the saline bag when it was almost empty and you didn’t leave the room even when your shift technically ended.
By morning, you were back at your post before the sun had even fully risen.
You weren’t due for another hour, but you couldn't stay home knowing he might wake again confused, aching and… alone.
But when you entered the room, he was already awake. Well, barely, but it was something.
The soft hum of the monitor greeted you first. His vitals were holding steady, but the real sign was the way his eyes, still a bit unfocused, and a little raw, tracked you as you stepped in.
You set your clipboard down quietly and met his gaze. “Hey,” you said softly.
He blinked slowly, then frowned. “Fuck,” he rasped, “I’m not dead?”
His voice was hoarse, painful to hear, but you managed a small smile. “Not yet, sorry.”
A weak huff pushed from his chest, maybe a laugh, or maybe a cough, you couldn’t tell. He shifted, then immediately grimaced, body locking stiff.
“It’ll hurt,” you warned, reaching out to adjust his pillow. “Your ribs are still healing.”
“No shit,” he groaned, swallowing hard. “Why… why can’t I feel my neck? and my chest and arms feel—“ another cough “numb.”
You hesitate, then walked to the bedside. His eyes were clearer now, but clouded with the edge of something worse than fear. The dread of what he didn’t know yet.
“You have third-degree burns on your neck and parts of your chest and arms. The reason you can’t feel them is… because the nerves are gone.” You tried to explain it as easily as possible.
His eyes flicked downward toward his shoulder, then to the heavy gauze wrapping his forearm. He didn’t move, just stared. “Am I—” His voice caught. “How bad does it look?”
You exhaled. “Bad,” you said honestly. “But they did a clean graft. You’ll get function back, most likely. The nerve endings yes… maybe not sensation in some areas. But it’s early, the burn team will know more after the swelling goes down.”
He closed his eyes for a second, jaw clenching.
Silence stretched. Then, his throat worked, voice more broken than before. “Riki?”
You nodded slowly, folding your arms. “He’s alive, though still unconscious. He had internal bleeding, and a compound fracture in his left leg. He’s in post-op recovery now, but he’s stable.”
His entire face tightened, like the weight of it had finally dropped onto his chest. His fingers clenched weakly around the edge of the sheet, and he looked away, toward the window where the morning light was just beginning to creep in through the blinds.
“Good,” he said quietly. “Good. He— he’s just a kid.”
You sat down in the chair beside him, scribbled a note on the chart, and glanced over.
“He’s lucky,” you said softly. “that you were there.”
He didn’t answer.
You knew Jake was still outside. He’d arrived early again, eyes red, pacing the hallway like a ghost. You’d seen him hovering through the glass window earlier, glancing in, debating whether or not to come in.
Now, as Heeseung winced and shifted slightly, you knew he wouldn’t want to deal with him yet.
“You’ve got someone outside,” you said after a pause. “Jake, right? Your manager.”
Heeseung closed his eyes.
“I don’t have the energy for him right now,” he muttered. “He’s just gonna yell.”
“Then he can wait.” you stood, heading toward the door. “You need rest, not a lecture.”
You stepped out quietly and met Jake’s eyes. He stood up instantly. “Is he awake? Can I—?”
“He’s not in the mood to talk,” you said, keeping your voice low but firm. “He’s in pain, and he’s processing. Maybe come back tomorrow?”
Jake’s face fell, but he nodded, rubbing his hand over his mouth, murmured something that resembled a ‘thank you’ before stepping away.
When you returned to the room, Heeseung was still awake, eyes half-closed, the tension in his shoulders loosened by a fraction. “You want me to turn the lights down a bit?”
“Yeah,” he mumbled. “My eyes hurt.”
You moved to the wall, dimmed them until the room was cast in soft amber.
And when you returned to your seat, he glanced over, lips cracked, voice barely above a whisper. “…What’s your name?”
“Y/N.” you replied “I’ll be your nurse for the time you stay here.”
He blinked. “You’re the one who was here last night.”
“Yeah,” you said softly. “You tried to punch me when I held your hand.”
His brows creased. “Did I?”
“You missed.” You shrugged and a ghost of a smile touched his mouth, the first one real enough to settle.
🏁.
When you pushed the door open after your lunch break, it was with the quiet intent of checking Heeseung’s vitals, maybe adjusting his IV line again.
You expected him to still be in pain, perhaps trying to sleep it off. You did not expect what you found.
Three nurses, all hovering around his bed like moths to a dying flame.
One was adjusting his blanket even though it was already neatly draped, another was holding a spoon of soup like it was some kind of sacred ritual, and the last one— oh, she was massaging lotion onto the one patch of unburned skin on his hand with a focus that was frankly excessive.
Heeseung looked… tired. Not just physically, but emotionally drained, like he wasn’t sure what to do with the attention.
His eyes met yours almost instantly as you stepped in, and something like relief washed over his features.
You didn’t smile. “Out,” you just said, sharp but calm.
All three of them froze, as if you’d pulled the fire alarm. One nurse looked like she might argue, but you raised your brow just slightly, and she faltered.
“But we were just—”
“I’m sure you were,” you cut her off smoothly. “He’s under recovery care, not an autograph booth.”
The room grew ten degrees colder.
They scurried out with muttered apologies, not meeting your gaze. One of them left behind the bowl of half-stirred soup and a chocolate pudding cup on the tray.
Heeseung watched you settle the tray on the adjustable table and pull it close to him.
“So,” you said, lifting the spoon from the bowl, “how many fangirls have snuck in while I was gone?”
He grimaced slightly. “Only them, I tjink… one kept calling me ‘hero.’ I tried to play dead but they didn’t leave.”
You smirked faintly, scooping up a small portion of the lukewarm soup “Didn’t your mom ever teach you not to fake injuries for attention?”
He gave a weak chuckle. “Pretty sure I didn’t have to fake anything.”
You lifted the spoon to his lips, watching as he took the soup carefully, his lips parting just slightly, eyes grimacing a little at the taste. His neck muscles twitched, probably from strain, and he exhaled hard after swallowing.
“Jesus,” he muttered. “Is that soup or dishwater?”
“Hospital cuisine,” you said solemnly. “Five-star micheline.”
He took another spoonful, slowly, wincing just from the movement of his jaw.
He still looked rough, his color wasn’t good, skin pale and slightly ashy from the burn meds. His arms were stiff at his sides, bandaged still, and you could tell the hunger was there, but the effort… not so much.
You opened the pudding cup next, gave it a little stir with the plastic spoon. He looked at it like it was the most edible thing he’d seen in weeks.
“Oh thank god,” he said. “I’ve never been so excited for fake chocolate in my life.”
“Open up,” you said, and he did, the sweetness seeming to go down easier than the soup. He sighed, eyes fluttering closed for a moment.
“I thought I’d feel better today,” he murmured. “But I still feel like shit.”
“You’re not even forty-eight hours post the accident yet,” you reminded him. “Your body’s still trying to decide if it wants to forgive you.”
He shifted then, just a little, then a little more. “Careful—”
“I wanna sit up more,” he mumbled, already pressing one arm against the bed, trying to push himself.
You leaned in, firm but calm. “Heeseung, stop.”
“I can’t just lie here—”
“You literally must.”
His eyes flashed with stubbornness, but then he grimaced hard, pain tightening his mouth.
You reached out instinctively, palm flat on his shoulder, not the burned one, holding him still.
“Don’t be stupid,” you said quietly. “Your ribs are still cracked, you won’t win against gravity.”
His jaw clenched. “I hate this.”
“I know.”
He looked away, toward the window. The light outside was gentler now, filtered through the clouds.
His face was drawn, and you could see it in the way he held himself, he wasn’t just sore, he was frustrated
The kind of man who didn’t like stillness. Who probably measured his self-worth by his speed.
“You’re scheduled to remove some of the smoke still in your lungs,” you told him, “It will not be pleasant.”
“Great,” he said sarcastically, “On a scale from one to ten?”
You thought about if for a minute, “I’ve never done it, but I will not lie that I think it will be a solid eight.”
You adjusted the pillow behind his back carefully, angling the bed up a little more for him. He didn’t resist this time, just watched your hands.
“You’re not useless just because you’re healing,” you said, mentioning the previous conversation. “You saved someone. That’s not something your body gets over in a day.”
Heeseung was quiet for a long moment, the sound of the heart monitoring a steady pulse beside you.
“…he’s still not awake, right?” he asked softly.
You nodded. “Still out, but stable.”
He didn’t respond to that. Just stared out at the window again, jaw working.
You finished cleaning up the tray, wiping the corner of his mouth where a little pudding had smeared.
Your fingers brushed along his chin lightly, and for a second, his eyes dropped to your hand.
When you pulled back, he exhaled slowly.
“Thanks,” he said, voice lower now.
You didn’t smile, but your voice was soft. “Stop trying to get up, and I’ll bring you something that actually tastes like food tomorrow.”
He tilted his head slightly, as if considering, then gave a small nod.
“No fangirls,” you added, pointing an accusing finger towards him.
He smiled, just barely. “Only you then?”
You rolled your eyes and stood.
“Don’t push it.”
🏁.
Days blurred together like a long breath you couldn’t quite finish taking.
Outside, the world carried on, traffic, sunrises, clouds rolling over the hospital’s concrete edges, but inside that room, things moved slower.
Jake came every day now, just after lunch, always bringing a different set of sports magazines or articles printed off from the web.
Heeseung barely read them, but he listened when Jake talked about regular things, probably as not to overwhelm him with the fact that races continued wven as he laid on a hospital bed.
A video someone posted of Riki doing stupid tricks in a go-kart. They didn’t say much about the boy himself, not with him still in the ICU, but you could feel the tension crackle in Jake every time he left, like walking out of that room meant abandoning someone else who couldn’t speak for himself yet.
You didn’t press him, and yoou didn’t ask questions.
You were too busy with your own routine.
You came into Heeseung’s room just before the evening shift change.
The light outside had gone pale blue, casting long shadows across the tile floor.
You rolled in a small cart with the supplies, like bandages, ointments, saline and gauze. He was already sitting up a little, watching you.
His face still bore the bruises of the accident, but the swelling had gone down, and his eyes tracked your every movement now, sharp and clear.
“You get a new uniform?” he asked, voice less raspy than before but still colored with something teasing.
You raised an eyebrow. “It’s the same one you bled on two days ago. We just wash them sometimes.”
“Hot,” he murmured, then hissed softly as he tried to adjust his shoulder.
“Don't be cute,” you muttered. “It’s wound cleaning day.”
You started with his head. The bandage there had to be changed slowly, carefully, because the skin underneath was still raw and sensitive.
You gloved up, peeled back the old gauze from his temple, then gently dabbed at the edges of the injury with a saline-soaked pad.
He winced, but didn’t complain. Not like he had the first time. “You’re quieter than usual,” he said.
“You want me to make small talk while I pull the rest of your scabbed flesh off?” You raised a brow at him. He let out a breathy laugh and closed his eyes. “Yeah, I wouldn’t mind the distraction.”
You wrapped the fresh bandage around his head, secure but loose enough not to give him a headache.
Then you moved to his chest. He shifted again, the sheets falling to his lap as you pulled the gown down and exposed the burns that still ran like brutal red streaks from just below his collarbone down to the edge of his ribs, spreading across his right shoulder and part of his upper arm. Some had darkened and some peeled.
But all of it looked painful.
You dipped a gloved finger into the ointment and began carefully applying it over the healing areas.
You didn’t flinch at the way the flesh had hardened in some parts, blistered in others. You’d seen worse.
“You okay?” you asked softly.
“Yeah,” he said through his teeth. “Feels like acid.”
“It’s just medicine.”
“I know, but I like being dramatic.”
You gave a short laugh, smoothing the ointment into the side of his neck, then placed new gauze over it, pressing down gently to secure it.
“I don’t know how you do this every day,” he said after a while “I mean, taking care of people like this…. like me. It can’t be the easiest job.”
You shrugged, taping down the last piece. “I’ve had harder patients.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Yeah. There was this guy once who thought flirting through third-degree burns was charming.” you teased.
He chuckled, and you moved to his arms next, slowly peeling back the old dressings.
His skin twitched under the fresh air, his fingers curling instinctively. You worked in silence for a while, glancing up only when you noticed him watching you.
“What?” you asked.
He tilted his head a little. “Nothing, you just never talk about yourself.”
You finished smoothing a patch of ointment along his bicep before answering. “There’s not much to say.”
“Bullshit. You’re in here every day, making sure I don’t die of infection or morphine withdrawal. You clean me, feed me, fight off the occasional fangirl. You’ve gotta have more going on than this.”
You paused. Then looked up at him… you didn’t really have an entertaining life outside the hospital, so you opted for something safe. “I’m also assigned to another patient.”
He blinked. “Yeah?”
You nodded, wrapping his arm now. “A kid about nine years old. He came in with a collapsed lung.”
Heeseung stilled slightly. “Accident?”
“No.” you gulped. “His father beat the shit out of him.”
Something in his face twisted then, slow and ugly. You continued softly. “He’s doing better now. Still needs the oxygen support, but he’s laughing again. Oh, and he loves dinosaurs.”
Heeseung’s voice was low. “Do people like that guy, his father, just get to walk around free?”
“It’s… complicated.” You said, your hands working focused. “He’s on the loose, police are searching for him.”
“Fuck.” He exhaled sharply, then looked away. “I thought I had it bad.”
You finished dressing the last of his wounds, peeling off your gloves with a soft snap and tossing them into the bin.
“You did,” you said quietly. “Pain doesn’t need to compete.”
He looked at you again then, for a long time. You weren’t sure what was in his eyes exactly. Respect, maybe sadness. Something softer, too.
“Thanks,” he said.
You gave him a faint smile, then reached for the blanket again, pulling it over his legs gently. “Don’t move too much tonight.”
“No promises.” Heeseung shrugged.
“I’ll sedate you if I have to.” you threatened.
He smirked. “Wouldn’t be the worst thing you’ve done to me.”
You rolled your eyes, gathered your supplies, and started toward the door. Before you stepped out, you glanced back.
He was still looking at you. Not like a patient looking at a nurse.
Like a man trying to understand someone he suddenly realized he didn’t know at all.
🏁.
Riki woke up the following week.
The update came in quietly, just after sunrise, passed from the ICU nurse on duty to your floor with that same hushed relief you’d felt pressing at the back of your ribs since the accident.
He was conscious, but weak. He was. fading in and out of sleep, but breathing on his own, and whispering broken sentences when someone leaned in close enough to hear.
You didn’t rush to tell Heeseung.
You waited until you finished your morning rounds, changed his bandages, fed him half of his usual breakfast. He didn’t complain today. Not once, and that alone told you his mind was elsewhere.
It wasn’t until you were refilling his IV fluids that you finally told him.
“Riki’s awake,” you said simply, not looking up as you slid the fresh saline bag onto the pole.
The stillness in the room shifted sharply.
Heeseung’s voice was instant, a little breathless. “When?”
“This morning.” You turned to him. “He’s in the trauma unit now. They transferred him just after stabilizing.”
He didn’t say anything for a second. His hands flexed slightly at his sides. “Can I see him?”
You hesitated. “You’re not exactly in any shape to—”
“I can sit,” he cut in quickly. “If I sit in a wheelchair, I can do it. I swear I won’t move. Just— five minutes. Please.”.
He was still so pale. The bruising around his eye had darkened into a dull ochre. The bandages on his neck peeked out from under his gown. His arm was trembling just from lifting the glass of water earlier.
He wasn’t ready. But you also knew he’d never feel ready, and something told you he wouldn’t rest until he saw Riki for himself.
You sighed, pulling your gloves off. “Alright, but you don’t lift a finger. You move wrong and I’ll have you sedated for real this time.”
He smiled weakly. “God, that’s hot.”
You shot him a flat look. “Try me.”
You brought the chair around slowly. He watched every motion as you locked the brakes, looped the IV pole onto the hooks, and adjusted the footrest to keep his legs steady. Then came the hard part.
“Okay,” you said gently, moving to his side. “You’re gonna need to lean forward on three. I’ll brace your back. Use your left arm if you can. The right’s still healing.”
He nodded once, already concentrating “One… two.. three.”
He grunted as he moved, your arm slipping under his to guide his weight forward. It took everything in him not to scream, you could tell.
His ribs were like cracked glass, one wrong shift and he’d shatter. But he bit it back, his jaw clenched, and let you ease him into the wheelchair slowly.
Once he was seated, you adjusted his gown to keep the bandages covered, re-checked the IV tube to make sure it wasn’t pulled, and only when everything was steady did you release a breath.
“You good?” you asked.
He nodded slowly. “Yeah.. fuck. I feel like a grandpa.”
The trauma unit wasn’t far, but you still took it slow. Every bump in the linoleum seemed to jolt through his bones.
You moved carefully, guiding the chair down the hallway, keeping your hand on the bar, and checking on him every few seconds. He didn’t talk, he just stared straight ahead.
When you reached Riki’s room, you paused at the door. “You sure?” you asked.
Heeseung nodded quietly and so you opened the door slowly.
The lights were dimmed inside, soft beeping of monitors the only sound.
Riki was lying still, propped slightly against the incline of the bed. His skin was a mess of bruises, purple and green splotches painting across his arms and cheek. A heavy cast swallowed most of his left leg, raised and elevated on a cushion.
There were faint stitches near his collarbone, and you saw the tremble of his chest with every breath.
But his eyes were open and conscious, staring at the white ceiling.
When he saw Heeseung, something in his expression cracked. His mouth moved first, like he wasn’t sure what to say. “Heeseung…”
Heeseung tried to lean forward but flinched instantly. You stepped in and pressed lightly on his shoulder.
“Careful,” you murmured.
“I thought you were dead,” Riki said, voice hoarse and small.
Heeseung swallowed, eyes shining faintly. “So did I.”
Riki blinked rapidly. “They said you— why the fuck did you stop in front of me like that? That’s not…” He trailed off, voice thick. “That’s not how this is supposed to go.”
Heeseung stared at him for a long moment. “You were headed for the barricade.”
“You should’ve just let me crash.” Riki snapped.
Heeseung’s voice was low, steady. “No, i really shouldn’t have.”
The silence between them settled like a weight. You didn’t speak, nor did you move. You saw how Heeseung’s hands gripped the armrests, how Riki tried to blink away the water in his eyes.
“You look like shit,” Riki finally said, a faint smile twitching at his lips.
Heeseung gave a tired breath of a laugh. “Yeah. So do you.”
You looked between the two of them. “I’ll give you a few minutes… just don’t make him laugh too hard. His ribs won’t survive it.”
🏁.
Two more weeks passed, and the days started blending again, though in a different rhythm now.
Rehab was slower, less frantic than the ER, but harder in other ways.
You watched Heeseung try to curl his fingers around a towel for ten full minutes one morning, sweat beading along his brow while the physical therapist kept encouraging him softly, and he just clenched his jaw and tried again and again, even when the pain clawed up from his shoulder into his teeth.
The nerves in his right arm were slow to wake. Some hadn’t at all.
But he worked through it, every day. There were setbacks and ghost pains and frustration.
A dozen nights when he asked you to help him sleep with medications because the sensation of nothing in his arm felt worse than agony.
You tried your best to support him, to give him the strength he was missing.
He could get a game of cards with you each time he managed to complete an exercise, and though he struggled to hold the cards in hands, he looked forward to it.
He always did, but one day you didn’t arrive at the time you usually did.
You always checked in after the rehab sessions. Always adjusted the pillows, changed his IV port, sometimes brought him sickeningly sweet tea even though it wasn’t officially allowed.
That afternoon, he returned from physical therapy looking exhausted and stiff, arm strapped carefully in the sling again.
You would be waiting for him, and even if he felt tired, he was excited to tell you about his progress.
But when he got in there were no cards and no you.
He was half-dozing when the door finally opened, with but the footsteps weren’t yours. The nurse on duty came in to check his meds, and as she adjusted his meds she told him you were coming but were just running late.
She went away, and when the door opened again some time later, it was you.
You came in fast, too fast and your steps uneven. Your scrubs were wrinkled, your hair pulled back hastily.
You didn’t even glance at him, just went straight to the counter and dropped your bag like your hands didn’t know what to do with anything.
“Hey,” he said, quietly.
“Hey.” You replied hurriedly.
He tried to push himself up further in bed, and that simple movement sent a spasm through his ribs. He hissed but kept watching you.
Your hands were shaking as you reached for the gloves. You put them on hastily and put some morphine drops in his IV line.
Or tried to, because the needle kept missing. You tried again and again.
“Hey.” He murmured, brows furrowing. “Are you okay?”
“Of course,” you gulped, voice shaky, “Why wouldn’t I be?”
But he didn’t buy your lie, so he said more firmly, “Y/N.”
You stopped moving and dropped your hands on the medicine counter. “I lost him.”
The words came out too sharp and too sudden. You hadn’t meant to say them like that. You hadn’t even known what you meant to say until they tore out of your mouth.
He blinked slowly. trying to piece the words together. “The kid?”
You turned slowly toward him, your eyes wide and glassy, and you laughed, a short and broken sound. It caught in your throat. You clutched the edge of the t counter like it could hold you up.
“I— I did everything. Everything I was supposed to. He was smiling yesterday… and… and he even asked me to draw dinosaurs on his oxygen mask. I told him I would after he ate his dinner.”
He didn’t speak, he let you rant, because he knew you needed not to be strong for once. You needed a shoulder to cry on.
You stepped forward, then dropped to your knees before you even realized it. The medical equipment fell from your hands.
“He started coughing and he didn’t stop,” you whispered, voice already breaking. “His lung… it filled with blood. He couldn’t breathe and we couldn’t intubate fast enough. He choked in front of us. In front of me.”
Your hands pressed to your face. “I tried… I tried so fucking hard—”
Your sobs ripped out of you, loud and uncontained, ugly sobs that rocked your body. Heeseung reached out before his body could protest. “Come here.”
“No,” you gasped. “I can’t— I’m not supposed to—”
“Come here.” He repeated firmly.
You crawled toward the bed on your knees, hands shaking too much to reach for anything.
He managed to lower his good arm toward you, fingers trembling as they brushed against your shoulder.
You pressed your face to the side of the bed, arms folded awkwardly under you, and sobbed into the blanket.
He winced, but he kept his hand there on your back. His thumb moved in slow, unsteady circles, his voice hoarse as he whispered, “You did everything you could.”
“I didn’t save him.” You snapped.
“Sometimes… sometimes you can’t.” He tried to reason. “I promised I’d come see him tomorrow.” You whispered brokenly.
Heeseung’s breath hitched, and he closed his eyes like he could carry the weight of that grief for you.
“I keep seeing his face,” you whispered. “He looked so scared.”
“I know that feeling,” he murmured. “I know, I see the fire every night.”
Your fingers curled into the blanket. He moved his hand and brushed your hair back behind your ear. The gentlest touch he could manage.
“You made him forget the horrors he went through,” he said softly. “You were there. That matters more than anything.”
You couldn’t stop crying, couldn’t even pretend to be the composed nurse anymore.
You weren’t her right now. You were just you, kneeling on the floor beside a patient who had become more than just a chart.
You stayed there, head buried into the side of the bed, tears soaking through the sheet, while Heeseung lay still, chest tight, body too raw to offer more than the steady, quiet presence you’d once given him.
Eventually, your sobs softened, worn out. Like the grief had burned through you fast and left only ash behind.
He spoke again, voice slow. “You can sit up here, if you want.”
You shook your head. “I don’t want you to move.” Even in your pain, uou cared more for him.
“I won’t.” He shifted his hand slightly, inviting. “Just stay beside me..”
So you did, because you weren’t really in the right state of mind to list all the reasons why you shouldn’t.
You climbed onto the edge of the bed slowly, not to disturb the tubes or bandages, and leaned gently against the side of his body. His good arm curled around your back.
Just for a moment you let yourself be held.
🏁.
It was quiet between you for a long while. His hand was warm where it rested on your back, too warm for someone who’d spent the last few weeks surrounded by machines and medications and cold gauze.
You were still curled into the side of the bed, your cheek resting just beside the edge of his chest, body limp from the sobbing.
“Hey.” He finally spoke.
You shifted, barely lifting your head. “Mh?.”
He angled his neck enough to glance down at you. “Wheel me downstairs.”
You blinked slowly. “Downstairs where?”
“The cafeteria.”
You pulled back just enough to look at him properly. His face was worn, but his expression was serious.
You stared hard. “You’re not allowed down there yet.”
He shrugged with one shoulder. “Neither was I allowed to have Jake’s candy bars, but I’ve had three Twix and two mini bags of Doritos this week, and I haven’t died.”
Your brows lifted. “You’ve been cheating on your meal plan?” He gave a faint smirk. “Religiously.”
“You sighed, pressing your fingers to your eyes. The last thing you wanted to do right now was escort a stubborn F1 driver out of his room for snacks like he hadn’t nearly burned alive three weeks ago.
But the truth was, your chest still hurt. The grief still sat in your bones, but it was quieter now, and something in his voice had shifted.
“Fine,” you muttered, standing. “But you’re wearing your sling, and your hospital bracelet stays visible. If anyone asks, you’re on a medically supervised movement.”
“Lord,” he murmured. “You make rule-breaking sound so sexy.”
You rolled your eyes, but the ache in your chest had already started to soften.
You helped him into the chair again, slower this time, letting him lean into you more than usual.
His body was getting stronger, but not by much, and even the act of standing made him wince. You adjusted his IV pole and tucked the light blue blanket across his lap before wheeling him carefully out into the corridor.
The hallway was mostly quiet as night shift had already begun. The elevators pinged with soft dings while you descended.
“Did you bring me down here to flirt with the volunteers again?” you asked as the doors opened on the ground floor.
“No,” he said. “They don’t make eye contact anymore. I think you scared them off.”
You snorted. “Good.”
The café was dimly lit, the kind that looked like it was trying very hard to pretend it wasn’t inside a hospital.
You wheeled him to a table tucked in the corner, far from the noise of people or the murmur of the vending machines.
You walked up to the bar and ordered what he’d asked for, a hot chocolate with no whipped cream, and a bottle of water. The cashier rang it up, and just as you reached for your hospital-issued card, a hand beat you to it.
Heeseung had wheeled towards you, alone, and handed over a credit card without a word.
You looked at him sharply. “What the fuck are you—”
“I wanted to.” Ahe said quickly, “And I used the good arm.” He waved it for good measure.
You narrowed your eyes. “I’m on shift. I can’t let patients pay for—”
“I’m a grown man in a wheelchair, who needs your help standing while peeing, I think you deserve this.”
You stared at him for a second longer, but he didn’t waver. So you let it go, you took the tray with the drinks, careful not to spill the hot chocolate, and returned to the table.
When you set it down in front of him, he reached out for the bottle of water. He pushed the hot chocolate toward you.
You blinked, then frowned in confusion. “This is yours.”
“I ordered it for you.” He explained as if it was the most obvious thing.
Your hands hovered for a second. “You asked for it.”
“And then I gave it away.” He met your eyes, gaze soft but unwavering. “You’ve had a shit day, well, week. I figured chocolate was a safer bet than tequila.”
You slowly sat down, wrapping your hands around the warm cup. It steamed against your skin, thick and sweet-smelling.
“You still shouldn’t be paying for me,” you muttered.
“I crashed a million-dollar car. You think I’m worried about six bucks?”
You shook your head, trying to hide the way your lip tugged up just slightly.
He leaned back a little in the chair, the bottle of water resting between his thighs. “You’re allowed to sit here,” he said, voice quiet. “Not just as my nurse but just as you.”
You stared down at the cup. “I don’t think I know how to be just me anymore.”
“You do,” he said softly. “You just haven’t had time to remember.”
You took a slow sip and the warmth bled into your chest. “I think I hate hospitals,” you whispered.
He tilted his head, watching you carefully. “So do I.”
You wheeled him back before the nurse on dinner rounds made it to his floor.
Heeseung didn’t say much on the way up, he just kept his eyes ahead, arm still nestled in the sling, the blanket pooling loosely around his waist.
You stopped the wheelchair in front of his room, and opened the door wide enough for the chair to slip in.
He shifted a little as you rolled him in, wincing when the chair hit a bump in the threshold. “Careful,” he murmured.
“Sorry,” you replied quickly, helping him ease into a comfortable position beside his bed before turning off the wheelchair brakes.
You were efficient again, going through motions you’d done a hundred times, but your fingers still trembled slightly when they brushed his wrist, adjusting the IV.
“Thanks,” he said quietly. “For taking care of me.”
You turned toward him. “It’s literally my job
“It’s more than that,” he said. “You didn’t have to sit with me. You didn’t have to cry where I could see you.”
You swallowed, eyes briefly dropping to his blanket. “Yeah, well, I guess I’m not very professional.”
“You’re too pretty to cry,” he said simply.
You rolled your eyes, stepping toward the cabinet to grab a clean set of saline wipes, trying to cover how your heart stuttered at the way he’d said it— like a fact, not a compliment.
“Don’t start,” you warned. “I’m not starting,” he said. “I’m just saying.”
You turned back to him, arms crossed, and leaned against the cabinet. “Alright, fine. How are you feeling? Really.”
He blinked at you, then tilted his head slightly, making a face. “Sore.”
“Where?” You asked.
He shifted, jaw tightening as he angled his neck. “My neck mostly. Probably the burn. It feels like it’s pulling when I sleep.”
“That’s because you keep turning your head instead of using the pillow support,” you said, walking toward him again.
You reached gently toward his collarbone, pulling back the loose hospital shirt to peek at the gauze that covered the worst of the scarring.
“You should kiss it better,” he said then, voice suddenly low.
You stopped, frozen in place. Your hand froze an inch from his skin, and his eyes flicked to your face, watching you for a reaction, but not pushing.
His lips tugged up, a faint, boyish grin pulling the corner of his mouth.
You stared at him, chest tight, then sighed through your nose and leaned in, fast, before you could think better of it, and pressed a quick kiss to the edge of his cheekbone.
Just enough to feel the warmth of his skin under your lips, to let the tension between you shift into something that made your stomach twist.
His smile widened, the surprise obvious on his face.
“Hey,” he whispered, gaze following you as you straightened and stepped back. “That was nice.”
“Don’t let it get to your head.” You said, holding a threatening finger to his face.
He laughed, low and hoarse. “Too late.”
You grabbed your clipboard, pretending to check his chart so you wouldn’t have to look at him while your face still felt warm.
“I should go,” you muttered, already walking toward the door. “Dinner shift’s starting on the east wing.”
“Wait—”
But you were already pulling the door open, glancing back at him just long enough to catch the way he looked at you now.
You didn’t say anything else. You just stepped out, your heart pounding loud enough you were sure he could hear it, and let the door shut behind you with a soft click.
🏁.
By the third day of your ten-hour shift stretch, you could recognize the tone of the call button chime before the light even blinked above the door.
It was always Lee Heeseung’s, allways at the most inopportune moments— just when you had your gloves snapped on to help with someone else’s chart, or when you were halfway through prepping a new IV bag.
And by now, you didn’t even need to guess what he’d say.
“My pillow fell again.”
“My water’s too warm.”
“I finished the tissue box. I sneezed once and now it’s gone.”
“I think my skin feels itchy, but like, only a little. Is that bad?”
“Do you know where the remote is?”
Six times that day, and it wasn’t even five p.m.
So this time, you walked in before the chime finished echoing down the hall, your hands on your hips, the door swinging shut behind you with a firm thud.
“Okay,” you said, standing just inside the threshold, your brows raised. “I know you’re bored, and I know hospital life isn’t exactly thrilling, but unless you’ve developed a new infection or spontaneously combusted again, I really don’t want to hear another call button chime from this room today.”
Heeseung looked up from the bed, blinking at you with the most unapologetically fake innocent expression you’d ever seen.
“You don’t have to scold me like that,” he said, lifting a hand with mock pain. “It hurts my feelings.”
“It hurts my back,” you snapped, “to walk this hallway six times because you suddenly forgot where your mouth is after wiping it.”
He cracked a smile then, slow and crooked. “That one wasn’t urgent, I just missed you.”
You blinked at him, deadpan.
“I’m serious,” he added quickly. “I’m not trying to be annoying. I mean, I am. But not… only.”
You slowly stepped closer to the bed, your arms crossing over your chest. “Heeseung.”
He lifted both hands in surrender, careful not to stretch his burned arm. “Alright. alright, I’ll stop. I’ll be good.”
You narrowed your eyes. You knew he felt alone, F1 season continued, Jake had meetings with his whole department since both his drivers were out and he was afraid he’d be replaced.
You knew, but it didn’t mean he had to drive you insane too. No pun intended.
“I’m sorry,” he said again, softer this time. “I know I’m being a pain in the ass, that you’re tired, and I know it’s not fair to ask for attention when there are patients who actually need you.”
That startled you a little. His voice was sincere now, not playful.
The kind of honest that didn’t come easy to men like him, the men used to winning races and smiling through sponsors’ press conferences and interviews. But he looked small now, even as he sat upright in the bed, chest tight in the bandages you changed every morning.
“I’m just—” he exhaled, his fingers twitching over the blanket. “I’m scared to leave. That’s the truth.”
You frowned, stepping to his bedside without thinking. “Why would you be scared of leaving a hospital?”
“Because I look like this.” He motioned vaguely to his body, to the sling, the burn that peeked from beneath the hem of his collar. “Because I haven’t seen a mirror in weeks, and I know I’ve looked better. Because my hair’s gross and I’ve lost weight and I smell like antiseptic, and I’ve been stuck in this bed thinking that I’ll never feel like myself again.”
You opened your mouth, but he wasn’t done. “And because I finally got the courage to want something for myself. And that something is you.”
The words landed hard. You felt your arms drop slightly, hands now loose by your sides, the air between you suddenly tighter than before. You blinked your eyes, unsure if you were seeing or hearing his words right.
Heeseung looked up at you again, slower this time, less sure of himself than you’d ever seen him.
“I know you don’t owe me anything. You’ve been taking care of me because it’s your duty, and I’ve probably pushed boundaries I shouldn’t. But…” He swallowed, breath shallow. “I wanted to tell you now. Before I get discharged, because the second I’m out of here, I’m gonna be back in recovery, back in press cycles, and everyone’s going to ask about the crash and Riki and the damn brakes, and I’m not going to get to just sit with you… or make you laugh, ormake you roll your eyes like that.”
You stared at him, speechless, as if your body had finally shut down.
“I just needed you to know,” he said finally. “When I’m back on my feet and when I look like me again… I’m going to ask you out, properly. If you’ll let me.”
Your heart was pounding, because somewhere deep down, maybe you’d known. Known from the moment he reached for the hot chocolate and slid it across the table. Known from the way he watched you like you were the only anchor he had left.
You didn’t know what to say, not yet. Your mouth felt dry and your chest felt tight, but your feet stepped closer anyway, drawn like a magnet.
You didn’t kiss him this time. You didn’t touch him either. You just looked down at him, eyes skimming his face, the new pink of his healing skin, the glint of defiance still in his expression.
“You still can’t press the call button,” you said quietly.
His smile broke again, wider this time. Like sunlight on rained down pavement.
“Alright,” he whispered. “Then I guess I’ll just have to wait for you.”
🏁.
You didn’t see Heeseung for almost three weeks.
He still came to the hospital, that much you knew, rehabilitation was mandatory, even for someone as stubborn as Ferrari’s golden boy.
He was scheduled twice a week for physical therapy, and he visited Riki when he could, sometimes staying an hour or more in the kid’s room.
But your shifts never overlapped. It was strange, how easily someone could vanish into the same building you worked in, the same halls you’d memorized with your eyes closed.
You didn’t try to ask around. You didn’t dig through records or prod the therapists in the staff lounge.
You didn’t let it show on your face that every time the elevator dinged on your floor, your eyes flicked up before you could stop yourself.
He was healing at home now. Taking care of his own burns, which had scabbed and scarred over with that red-purple finish that made your heart twist the last time you saw them.
You imagined him moving stiffly through some fancy condo, with his water always cold, pillows never out of reach, tissues unused because there was no one around to pass them.
However, you saw Riki often. He was in less pain now, and more alert to his surroundings.
Still sour most days, snappy and restless from staying still for so long, but there was a spark there, something sharp behind his eyes when he talked about rehab. He wanted to walk, he wanted to drive again. Even if it was far off for the time being.
“Heeseung comes in all weird,” Riki muttered one afternoon while you adjusted the IV tubing above his bed. “Like, in baseball caps and hoodies. As if people won’t recognize him if he covers half his face and walks with that stupid gait.”
“Maybe he’s trying not to get mobbed,” you murmured, flicking the drip line with your nail. “He had fans even in the hospital.”
“He just doesn’t want people to look at him,” Riki said, a little quieter. “Not until his skin looks normal.”
You didn’t answer that. You just gave him a sip of water and changed the subject, but it stayed with you.
That night, for the first time, you opened Instagram and typed Ferrari into the search bar.
The page was easy to find. It was verified, with the bold logo, all red and gold and glory.
You scrolled past the highlight reels, the merchandise links, the footage of pit crews moving like insects in reverse. You skimmed captions about sponsors, about prep for the next season, about hopeful outlooks. And then you found his name.
Lee Heeseung, back in training. Slowly regaining strength in his right arm, working with team specialists twice a week. Determined to be ready for next season’s opener.
There was a photo. Blurry, and taken from behind. Heeseung bent forward, sweat soaking through a dark training tee, fingers curled over a steering simulator.
His profile was partly visible, bandage still over the side of his neck, his jaw clenched, dark hair longer than it had been in the hospital.
He looked thin and tired. But he looked alive.
You stared at the photo for longer than you should have. Then, against your better judgment, you hit the follow button.
You didn’t expect it to change anything. You didn’t expect him to see it, even, his feed was full of likes and mentions from fans all over the world, probably flooded every minute.
But something about it made you feel closer. Like you’d walked into a corner of his life no one had given you permission to touch.
Like you were choosing to see him now, not as your patient, not as a body in bandages, but as someone aching to be more than that.
You still didn’t see him in ‘real life’, but you started noticing the gap he left in your day.
The way your shift felt a little quieter without his voice drifting out of his VIP room.
How your eyes scanned the hallway out of habit, expecting his lanky frame to come sauntering around the corner with a sarcastic comment ready. How the call button in his old room remained untouched, almost dusty with disuse.
You didn’t let yourself think about it too much. You had other patients. You had other wounds to clean, other charts to fill.
You had boys younger than Riki who didn’t know what comfort felt like, who cried into your sleeves when no one else was looking.
But late at night, when you walked home in silence, something in you still flickered with that unfinished sentence. With that look in his eyes the last time you left his room.
🏁.
Saturdays weren’t yours to work, but the fire from three nights ago had overflowed the ER.
Nurses had been calling out, supplies were low, and patients kept pouring in with second-degree burns and smoke in their lungs, soot in their hair and soot in their blood.
You hadn’t had lunch. You barely remembered what you’d eaten for breakfast.
Your scrubs were wrinkled, your badge strap sticky with someone’s dried medication, your shoes creaked wet from a mop bucket you stepped in by accident. All you wanted was to go home, shower, and sleep for fourteen uninterrupted hours.
So when you stepped out the side exit, your usual escape route to avoid the busier front doors, and found a sleek, glimmering black car parked right in the middle of the access road, you groaned out loud.
“The hell…” you muttered under your breath, narrowing your eyes.
You looked around first, no security in sight and no staff nearby.
The car was expensive, way too shiny to belong to a low waged doctor, but the way it was angled made your jaw clench.
Right in the path of emergency lanes. If an ambulance pulled in, it would have to slow down, stop before it hit it and possibly lose a life.
You stepped toward the driver’s side window without hesitation, rapping your knuckles against the glass firmly.
You didn’t expect it to roll down that fast. And you definitely didn’t expect him.
Heeseung turned toward you slowly, lips twitching up into the smallest smile, his eyes scanning you like you were a familiar song playing again for the first time in weeks.
He had a hat on, but he pulled it off the second he saw your face. His skin had lost the swollen, raw shine, there were still scars on his jawline and neck, but they were faded now, pinked and healing.
“Hi,” he said quietly.
You just blinked, hands mid-air, paused knock on the window. “What— what are you doing here?” you asked.
“I was waiting for you,” he said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “Your shift ended half an hour ago.”
“I stayed behind because the trauma and burning bay was still full.” You explained, brows furrowed.
“Yeah, I heard about the fire.” His brows dipped a little. “I figured you wouldn’t leave on time.”
You glanced at the car again, then back at him “You’re parked in the middle of the road.”
He shrugged, leaning his elbow against the wheel, lazy and composed and so infuriatingly calm. “You always said I was reckless.”
“That’s not— Heeseung, you can’t park here. What if an ambulance came in?” You nagged.
“Then I would’ve moved.” His smile widened slightly. “I saw you coming out. You were holding your bag like it was about to break.”
You looked down at your satchel, at the way it was sagging from your shoulder, the straps barely stitched. You hadn’t realized he was watching.
“You look exhausted,” he said. “I didn’t mean to scare you or get in the way. I just… I wanted to talk to you.”
You hesitated, swallowing hard. “You could’ve texted.”
“I don’t have your number.” You paused again, jaw tightening. The handsome fucker was right.
He read the hesitation in your expression because his voice softened when he added, “It’s not anything heavy. I just wanted to see you…. talk. If that’s okay.”
“I should go home,” you said, but your voice didn’t sound as sure as it should have.
“I know,” he replied, tone level. “I’m not trying to trap you. I just… thought maybe you’d want to come for a short drive.”
You opened your mouth to protest again, but he must’ve seen it in your face, that flicker, that tiny weakening you always had with him, because he leaned across the passenger seat and pushed the door open.
The smell of his cologne wafted out faintly, clean and unfamiliar. Not the antiseptic you used to associate with him, but something warmer.
“Fifteen minutes,” he said. “And I’ll drive slow.”
You stood there another heartbeat before sighing heavily and slipping in, dropping your bag between your feet. “You can’t park like that again.” you grumbled, pulling your seatbelt on.
“I won’t,” he said, already shifting the gear. “Unless it gets me your attention.”
The car was too smooth, barely a hum beneath your thighs as he pulled onto the road.
He didn’t take the highway. Instead, he drifted toward the north side of the city, where the buildings thinned and the roads turned narrow and winding.
You didn’t say anything for a while, and the radio was off, creating a not so awkward silence.
The windows cracked just enough for the wind to kiss your temples. Heeseung kept one hand on the wheel, the other resting near the gear shift. His fingers tapped to a rhythm only he heard.
You finally asked, “Where are we going?”
“You’ll see.” he smirked.
The hill was quiet. Just far enough from town that the lights behind you blurred into a string of distant sparks, like stars upside down.
He pulled up to the edge, beside a lookout you vaguely recognized from photos, some popular spot kids used to park and drink or kiss in late at night.
But now it was just the two of you, and the sun was melting behind the skyline, leaving streaks of orange and dusty violet stretching across the horizon.
He killed the engine as you sat still, unsure. He turned to you. “You’ve been following the Ferrari page.”
You flushed before you could stop it, your eyes darting to the glovebox. “You noticed?”
“You think I wouldn’t?” he asked, tilting his head. “Your username has your badge number and Jake asked me if it was you when he saw the notification. He’s the one who runs the profile.”
You cringed. “I misclicked.”
“I like it that you follow it.” He took a breath, shifting to face you slightly. “I wasn’t lying that day. I know I was half gross with hair oily and calling for tissues every five minutes. But I meant what I said.”
You chewed your bottom lip, hands clasped together on your lap.
“I’ve thought about you every damn day,” he said, voice low. “Every burn I cleaned, every stretch I did to move my arm again… it was all with your voice in my head, lecturing me, cussing under your breath, or humming while you changed my dressings.
He chucked softly, “I’m not trying to romanticize what you did— it was your job, I know that. But you were the only part of that room that didn’t feel like pain.”
Your throat tightened. The silence around you pressed against your chest.
“So,” he said, after a moment. “Now that I’m here, and I don’t look like a half-melted wax figure, I’m going to ask again.”
He leaned in a little, not enough to touch you. Just enough to make the air shiver between your knees.
“Would you go out with me?”
You looked at him, really looked at the scars that would never fully fade, at the honesty stretched across his face. At the way his fingers curled and uncurled on his thigh, nervous.
Not Heeseung-the-racer. Not Heeseung-the-patient. Just the man who held you when you broke down and offered you hot chocolate to cheer you up.
“…You’re still kind of a pain in the ass,” you whispered.
He grinned, soft and warm and so stupidly pretty. “I’m hoping you like that about me.”
You rolled your eyes and looked away. But your voice cracked into something almost smiling as you said, “Okay.”
His inhale was slow, asif he didn’t believe you yet.
“Yeah?” he asked, like he needed to hear it again.
You turned back to him and nodded. “Yeah.”
🏁.
You hadn’t meant for it to happen so naturallyx, but the nights at his place started slipping into your week like a warm spring breeze.
He picked you up after long shifts when you didn’t feel like taking the bus, and you’d slip into his fancy car still in your scrubs, smelling faintly of antiseptic and latex gloves, too tired to talk.
And he never asked you to. He just opened the passenger door, let you rest your head against the window, and drove home in silence, music turned low and hand reaching across the console to hold yours.
His mansion, because there was no way around calling it that, wasn’t what you expected.
You thought it’d be filled with trophies and screaming red logos, but it was just neat and quiet.
His bedroom was painted in soft shades of gray and navy, his kitchen smelled like coffee beans and a hint of vanilla, and the couch was so wide you’d often curl up in the corner with a blanket and not move for hours.
You didn’t have the energy for fancy dates or being out in public. You certainly didn’t want to be photographed, you didn’t ant some journalist writing a two-paragraph caption about how Heeseung’s latest girl was just some tired nurse with eyebags and oversized jackets.
And Heeseung never made you feel small for it. Whatever he chose for his life you didn’t have to force yourself to be a part of.
Most nights were spent curled on the sofa, a Netflix movie you barely registered playing in the background.
You would start the evening upright, knees tucked in, a warm drink in your hands, and end it slouched sideways, your cheek against his shoulder, breath even and shallow as sleep claimed you halfway through the plot.
He’d carry you, sometimes. Tuck you in and kiss your forehead lightly. Other nights, you made it to bed on your own, and he would join you an hour later, warm and silent, pressing himself carefully to your back, still stiff because of his healing skin.
He had noticed your pills early on. The first time, you thought you’d been slick about it, hiding them behind your hand as you opened the bottle near the sink.
But he leaned over and asked, “You okay?”
You nodded, embarrassed, trying to swallow them quickly. “Just for digestion, y’know? My stomach gets weird after long shifts. I don’t always… well, can’t always eat right after I see something.”
His expression softened like you’d pressed a hand over his chest. He didn’t say anything right away, he just took the glass from your hand, poured you another, and passed it back silently.
“You don’t have to explain it,” he said quietly. “I get it.”
You weren’t sure he could get it. He didn’t have to hold broken children or stitch the soft skin of dying women, and he didn’t have to stand still while a monitor flatlined.
But he had burned for someone else. He’d jumped in front of a car going too fast to stop, taken the brunt of it, let himself be crushed and concussed to save a boy who wasn’t ready to die.
So maybe he did understand.
When you came over one Saturday morning, he was more animated than usual.
He was wearing a dark sweater and cargo pants, with hair half-damp from a shower, and his bandage finally gone from his wrist, his body almost healed.
He still couldn’t grip with his right hand properly. He said the nerves were healing slowly, but he’d been trying.
“C’mere,” he grinned, reaching for your bag to drop it by the entrance. “I want to show you something.”
You blinked at him, one eyebrow rising. “Show me what?”
“Just come.” He tugged at your hand and pulled you toward the garage.
You hadn’t really stepped inside the main garage before. The house had two: one for his daily cars, and the other for, well, whatever this was. The second he flipped the lights on, you saw it.
His car. That car.
The one that had been twisted into fire and pain months ago. The one you’d seen on the news, reduced to smoldering steel.
Now it sat before you, with a brand new frame, the same number, and the same paint job, the shine of it almost surreal under the ceiling lights.
“You got it back,” you murmured.
“I got her back, my Scarlet.” he said, voice soft with affection. “It’s not exactly the same frame, and we’ve upgraded a few things. But… yeah. She’s mine again.”
You walked slowly around it, trailing your fingers just barely along the side. “And you’ll drive again.”
“As soon as they let me.”
“And your hand?” He held it up, flexing it in the air. “Still annoying as hell. But I’ve been cooperating with the exercises.”
You smiled, turning to him. “That’s a first.”
He grinned, full of boyish pride. Then he nodded toward the other side of the garage. “There’s someone else I want you to meet officially.”
You followed him without question.
Jake was waiting near the workbench, hands shoved in his pockets, his hair tied back with a cap. He looked better than the last time you’d seen him in a panic outside the hospital room, pacing the hall and begging for updates.
“Jake,” Heeseung said, his voice low but proud, “this is Y/N.”
Jake smiled and extended his hand. “You’re the nurse who yelled at the three others for pampering him with pudding.”
You laughed as you shook it. “They were fangirling and he was still high on morphine. Someone had to keep his ego in check.”
Heeseung groaned behind you. “You’re never going to let that go.”
“Not a chance.”
Jake grinned even wider. “I like her.”
“She’s not just my nurse anymore,” Heeseung said quietly, and when you glanced back at him, he was looking straight at you. “She’s my girl now.”
The words shouldn’t have knocked the air out of your chest the way they did. You weren’t sixteen anymore, you’d had men call you worse and sweeter things in the heat of a moment, but this— this was soft and real.
You didn’t say anything right away. Just smiled, nodded a thank you to Jake, and let Heeseung lead you upstairs again, through the back hallway.
When the door to the garage closed behind you and the silence settled again, you reached for him before he could say anything else.
you pressed your hands to his cheeks gently, careful of the last faint scar that still lingered along the side of his jaw, and kissed him.
He stilled at first, stunned. Then he leaned in, warm and steady, one hand sliding to your hip, the other brushing the back of your neck.
It was the kind of kiss that made time pause. With no rush, no fire behind your teeth. Just slow, deep breaths and the rhythm of his lips against yours, like he’d been waiting too long to ask again.
When you pulled away, you stayed close, your forehead resting against his.
“You are a wonderful person, Lee Heeseung.” You breathed out.
“You make me better.” He murmured.
You smiled, kissed the tip of his nose, and said, “No, that’s all you.”
♡ when heeseung agrees to test jungwon’s new dating sim game, girlfriend simulator, he expects a dumb, half finished game, until he boots it up on his switch, the screen glitches, and he’s dragged straight into the world he just created. the “girlfriend” character, you, isn’t scripted at all; and heeseung has to figure out how to get out while accidentally developing feelings for a girl who inconveniently does not exist in real life.
♡ pairing: heeseung × fem!reader | ♡ genre: fantasy; romcom; fluff; comedy; light sci fi; college au; game simulator; slow burn; smut (mdni) | ♡ playlist: gameboy - katseye | jellyous - illit | super shy - new jeans | i am shampoo - bibi | turn it up - pinkpantheress | sun and moon - aespa | ♡ wc: 37k
♡ ronnie notes: hi guyssss!! hope you enjoy this fic 🫶 i wanted to make this as a little celebration for hitting 4k followers here hehe i’ve been writing this for a while and i lowkey think it’s about to become my little favorite / comfort fic around here!! i’ve always wanted to write something with a gaming theme because i am a gamer (derogatory) so huge thank you to my sister @iyoonjh and @hoonieyun and @jayflrt for helping me with everything league of legends related because yeah i was dumb enough to write league scenes without ever having played that shit myself lmaoo anyway i really hope you guys like girlfriend simulator
HEESEUNG'S FAVORITE PART OF ANY GAME WAS THE DIALOGUE OPTIONS. Little boxes that told you exactly what to say and exactly what would happen after. Real life should've come with that feature. would've saved him a lot of trouble. He wasn't completely hopeless, though. He had friends, he could hold a conversation if he had to. But there was always this gap between what he meant and what came out, or worse, between what he said and how people reacted to it. Like everyone else had gotten a patch update on social interaction and he was still running on the default version.
Maybe that's why dating never quite worked for him. Every time he tried, he felt like he’d missed a tutorial somewhere. He could talk, sure, and he could be funny when he wanted, but halfway through a conversation he always drifted, like thinking about assignments or projects or that interesting research thread he'd meant to look into. People would smile at him politely, the kind of smile that told him they’d already made up their mind: sweet guy, but not for me.
The last time he'd tried going on a date, he’d barely made it through an hour. He’d checked the timestamp afterwards and realized he’d spent exactly forty eight minutes pretending he wasn't thinking about a bug he’d found in his graphics project. He’d texted Jungwon: "bro i think i fumbled bad." Jungwon had sent back a voice note where he laughed so hard he hiccuped. Comforting, in its own way.
Jungwon was one of like three people Heeseung could be around without keeping a mental checklist of normal things to say. They’d been friends since first year when they got paired on a project and realized they both worked better at two in the morning with no one else around. Jungwon was quiet in the same way Heeseung was, but also completely unhinged when it came to code. He’d get an idea and just lock in for days. So one afternoon, while Heeseung was in the lab pretending to fix code he’d actually broken on purpose because he didn’t want to admit he didn’t understand it, Jungwon walked in with that mischief look. He sat down next to him, opened his laptop, and said, "ok, don’t make fun of me, but I made something."
Heeseung didn’t look up. "Is it stable this time?" which was generous, because Jungwon’s projects were never stable.
"Define stable," Jungwon said, clicking through a folder that had way too many warning icons. "Anyway, it’s a dating sim."
That finally made Heeseung look. "A dating sim? Why?"
"Research." Jungwon always said that when he’d clearly done something for fun and wanted it to sound academic. "It’s called Girlfriend Simulator."
Heeseung stared at him. "That’s the worst name I’ve ever heard."
Jungwon didn’t even blink. "Yeah, I know. But I need someone to test it, and you're the only person who’ll actually give me notes instead of lying to make me feel better."
Heeseung wanted to argue, but he was tired and they had a midterm coming up and honestly he didn't care enough to fight. So he sighed and pushed his chair closer. "Fine. Show me." Jungwon grinned like that was all he’d wanted since morning. He opened the build file, and the screen filled with placeholder art, branching choices, and a character slot labeled "y/n_default." And Heeseung, who was too distracted to think twice, just shrugged.
He had no idea that saying yes to that stupid looking game would end up being the most disastrous decision of his entire academic life.
He only agreed because Jungwon wouldn't shut up about it, and because even with all his complaints, he had this soft spot for him that made it hard to say no. Also, he didn’t have anything better to do on a friday night; the rest of their friends were out, and he wasn't in the mood to socialize. And, honestly, he liked games where he could pretend to be slightly less single than he actually was. It was pathetic, sure, but it wasn't like anyone needed to know.
So later that night, Heeseung sat on his bed with the lights off and his switch on max brightness, which was probably not great for his already questionable sleep schedule but whatever. Jungwon had sent him the build file with a message that just said "lmk if it crashes :)" which was not exactly confidence inspiring, but Heeseung had agreed to this so he couldn't really back out now.
The game booted with this weirdly soft 8 bit lullaby that sounded like it was trying to hypnotize him. The title screen was clean, minimalist, just the words "Girlfriend Simulator" in a font that looked expensive. Heeseung snorted. Jungwon had definitely spent more time on the typography than the actual game mechanics, which tracked. Character customization loaded next, and Heeseung had to admit it was smoother than he expected. The interface was intuitive, the options were detailed, and the hairstyle physics were suspiciously good for something Jungwon had supposedly coded in his free time between problem sets.
He made his character half heartedly. Messy hair because that's what he had in real life and he wasn't creative enough to imagine anything else. A hoodie because hoodies were safe. He picked "student" as his class, and when it came to stats, he maxed out "humor" because he genuinely thought he was funny, even if nobody else seemed to agree. Then he looked at "emotional intelligence" and left it at zero. Honesty was important, right?
The loading screen that followed was surprisingly elegant. Just a slow fade to black with some text that read "Your First Meeting" in delicate script. Heeseung settled back against his pillow, expecting the usual dating sim fare: a classroom, a coffee shop, maybe a cherry blossom tree if Jungwon was feeling cliché.
And then the screen flickered. Just once, quick enough that Heeseung thought maybe it was his eyes. But then it happened again and the lights in his bedroom pulsed in sync, like someone had wired his lamp to the game's framerate. "What the hell," Heeseung said to no one.
The switch started vibrating in his hands. Not the normal rumble feature, but something harder, more insistent, like the controller was trying to shake itself apart. On screen, a figure materialized. The girlfriend character. For a second Heeseung just stared because the sprite work was genuinely impressive. The lighting was too good, the shadows moved wrong. Everything felt almost real in a way that made his skin prickle.
And then the girlfriend, you, turned around. Slowly like you already knew he was watching. Your face came into view and Heeseung's brain did this weird stutter because you didn't look like a game character, you looked like a person, with the kind of detail you didn't get from placeholder art. Heeseung felt this uncomfortable twist in his stomach like he was the one being observed.
Then you spoke. Not with a text box, not with that awkward text to speech voice that indie games always used. Actual audio, clear and warm and way too close for his own good. "You're here!"
Heeseung's hands went cold. The voice didn't sound small or synthetic or compressed. It sounded like someone was standing directly behind him in his dark bedroom, breath on his neck, words in his ear. He whipped around so fast he nearly dropped the switch, but his room was empty. Just his desk and his dying succulent and his pile of laundry that he'd been meaning to deal with for a week. "What the—"
Before he could finish the thought, before he could even process what was happening, the lights in his room popped, like every bulb had blown at once. The screen went pure white, so bright it hurt to look at, and the controller in his hands went from cold to burning hot in the span of a heartbeat. He tried to drop it but his fingers wouldn't move, locked in place like the plastic had fused to his skin. The air pressure in the room shifted. His ears popped like he was in a plane taking off, and he felt this pull, this hook behind his ribs, yanking him forward with a force that didn't make any physical sense. He tried to pull back, tried to let go, tried to do anything, but the world was already dissolving.
The last thing Heeseung managed to think before everything shattered into pixels was that he was going to kill Yang Jungwon.
When he opened his eyes, the first thing he noticed was that the world was too bright. The grass beneath him looked like high definition fairy dust, each blade catching light in a way that grass absolutely should not. The sky was blue in that aggressive unnatural way that only existed in concept art. Everything was sharp and vivid and wrong. Heeseung sat up slowly, head spinning, and looked down at himself. His clothes had changed. Instead of his worn out hoodie and sweatpants, he was wearing the outfit his avatar had been wearing. The same hoodie he'd picked in character customization but real now, solid and heavy on his shoulders. His hands looked like his hands but also didn't. The proportions were slightly off, the lines a little too clean.
"What the fuck," he said out loud, and his voice sounded normal, which was worse. Everything else was strange but his voice was still his.
"You made it!"
Heeseung's head snapped up. You were someone standing a few feet away, watching him with this expression that was hard to read. Amusement, maybe, or curiosity. Like you'd been waiting for him and was pleased he'd finally shown up. except you weren't a sprite anymore. You were real, or at least as real as anything else in this place. You looked exactly like the character on screen but with dimension now, depth, the subtle movements of someone actually breathing. Your hair moved slightly in a breeze he couldn't feel. You were wearing something casual but put together in that effortless way that Heeseung had never managed to pull off.
You smiled at him, and he felt something weird in his stomach. "Hi," you said, like this was completely normal, like he hadn't just been ripped through a screen into a video game that shouldn't exist. "Nice to meet you!"
Heeseung opened his mouth. Closed it. Opened it again. His brain was doing this thing where it tried to process too many things at once and ended up processing nothing at all. "What," he finally managed, which wasn't even a complete sentence but it was all he had.
"Sorry I'm late," you said, but you didn't sound particularly sorry. "Jungwon said you might be running behind. He's the one who set this up, by the way. Said we'd get along."
Heeseung blinked. "Jungwon... set this up?"
"Yeah, the blind date?" You looked at him like he was being slow on purpose. "He said you needed to get out more. His words, not mine."
And that was such a Jungwon thing to do that Heeseung almost believed it. Almost. Except he was still processing the fact that the world around him looked like someone had turned reality into a video game filter. "This is insane," he muttered under his breath. "This is the most realistic game I've ever—"
"Game?" You interrupted, and your smile faltered just slightly. "I'm not playing games with you."
The way you said it made Heeseung freeze. It wasn't defensive or annoyed, it was sincere like you genuinely meant it, like you had no idea what he was talking about. And that's when it hit him: You could hear him. Not just the dialogue options he was supposed to pick. Everything. his actual thoughts spoken out loud. "Wait," he said slowly, "you heard that?"
"Heard what?"
"Nothing. Never mind." Heeseung cleared his throat and tried to pull himself together. He could freak out later. Right now there was a person in front of him — a very real feeling and cute person — and he was being weird. "So. Blind date. Right. Jungwon's idea."
He really looked at you then. You were pretty, in this approachable, comfortable way that made him think maybe he could actually talk to you without saying something catastrophically stupid. You had this ease about you, like you weren't trying too hard, and your eyes had this spark that suggested you were probably smarter than you let on. Basically, you were everything he'd ever put on one of those hypothetical "ideal type" list.
"So," you said, cutting through his thoughts. "Jungwon mentioned you're into games?"
Heeseung tried not to laugh at the irony. "Uh, yeah. You could say that."
"Me too." You brightened, and it was genuine, not that polite interest people usually faked. "I've been replaying persona 5 royal for like the third time. I know, I know, it's excessive."
"No, that's— that's actually really cool," Heeseung said, and he meant it. "Most people don't get the appeal of replaying stuff."
"Right?" You gestured as you talked, animated in a way that made him want to keep listening. "Everyone's like 'you already know the story' but that's not the point. It's about the experience, the details you missed, trying different builds—"
A notification sound chimed softly in the air between you. Heeseung jumped. You didn't react. In the corner of his vision, barely perceptible, text appeared: romantic interest +5. common interests discovered.
Oh. Oh no. This was a dating sim. An actual, literal dating sim. And he was living it.
"You okay?" You asked, tilting your head slightly.
"Yeah, totally fine," Heeseung lied. "Just thought I heard something."
You nodded, accepting this easily, and then said, "Do you want to walk? There's this spot by the lake that's really nice."
"Sure," Heeseung said, because what else was he going to say?
You started down a path that looked hand painted, every stone deliberately placed, every flower color coordinated. You reached the lake, which was absurdly picturesque, and sat down on a bench that looked like it had been placed there specifically for this moment. Probably because it had. Heeseung sat next to you, not too close but not weirdly far either, and tried to act like this was normal. "Oh," you said suddenly, looking up. "Look at that." Heeseung followed your gaze. There was a flower growing on a low hanging branch, except it wasn't growing so much as hovering there, pulsing slightly with a soft golden glow. It bobbed up and down in a loop, the universal sign of an interactive object. You didn't seem to notice anything weird about it. "That's pretty," you said. "I've never seen a flower like that before."
Heeseung stared at it. The glow intensified slightly, like it was trying to get his attention, like it was waiting for him to do something. Oh god. This is a prompt. He was supposed to pick the flower and give it to you, that's how this worked. That's how you earned affection points or route progression or whateverJungwon had programmed into this thing. So he stood up. "I'll get it for you."
"You don't have to—"
"No, I want to," Heeseung said, and he meant it, which was somehow worse. He reached up and plucked the flower from the branch. It came away easily, and the moment his fingers closed around the stem, the glow faded into something softer, more natural. It looked real now. I mean, it felt real. He turned back to you and held it out, suddenly aware of how much this looked like a scene from every romance movie he'd ever suffered through, not that he suffered through many. "Here," he said.
You took it, and your fingers brushed his for just a second. You looked down at the flower, then back up at him, and your smile was so genuinely happy that Heeseung forgot for a moment that this was supposed to be a game. "Thank you," you said. "That's really sweet."
The notifications stacked in his peripheral vision, and Heeseung felt something between triumph and existential dread. "It's just a flower," he said.
"Maybe," you said, twirling it between your fingers. "But it's the thought that counts, right?" And the worst part was that you seemed to actually believe that. You weren't reading from a script or following programmed responses. You felt real, real enough that Heeseung was starting to forget why that should scare him.
You tucked the flower behind your ear, adjusting it carefully, and Heeseung had to physically stop himself from saying something embarrassing about how that was probably the prettiest thing he'd seen all week. He sat back down on the bench, leaving what he hoped was an appropriate amount of space between you. "So," you said, tilting your head. "What do you do for fun? Besides picking flowers for girls in parks."
Heeseung felt his face get warm. "I don't— that's not a thing I do regularly."
"Shame. You're good at it." You were grinning now, clearly enjoying his embarrassment. "Come on, tell me. What's your thing?"
"Uh. Games, mostly. I play a lot of games, like Jungwon said."
Your eyes lit up immediately. "Oh yeah! What kind?"
"Mostly League. Some RPGs. Anything competitive, I guess." He expected the usual response, the polite nod and change of subject that he got whenever he mentioned gaming to people.
Instead, you leaned forward, genuinely interested. "Wait, you play League? What's your main?"
Heeseung blinked. "You play League?"
"Obviously. Answer the question."
"I mean, I play mid usually. Zed, Leblanc, that kind of thing." He was still processing the fact that you not only knew what League was but apparently played it. "What about you?"
"Support. I'm a Janna main and i'm not ashamed of it." You said it with this defiant pride that made Heeseung want to laugh. "I know, I know, support is boring or whatever, but someone has to keep the ADC alive and it might as well be me."
romantic interest +10. shared interests discovered: league of legends.
Heeseung felt something shift in his chest. He'd never met someone who got it like this. Who understood that games weren't just mindless button mashing but actual strategy and skill. "What rank are you?" He asked.
"Plat 2. I was almost diamond last season but then I had finals and kind of gave up on the grind." You made a face. "What about you?"
"Diamond 3." Heeseung said, oddly proud of himself but pretending he wasn't.
"Oh, so you're actually good." You looked impressed, which made Heeseung feel ridiculously more pleased with himself. "We should play together sometime."
"Yeah, definitely," Heeseung said, and then remembered that this was a game and there probably wasn't a 'sometime' outside of this moment. The thought made something in his stomach twist uncomfortably. You shifted on the bench, getting more comfortable, and somehow ended up closer to him. And just like that, you were off. Heeseung found himself talking more than he had in weeks, and you had opinions, strong ones, and you weren't afraid to argue with him when you disagreed. But it wasn't hostile or competitive, it was fun. At some point, you started talking about other games too. You mentioned playing Stardew Valley when you wanted something relaxing, getting unreasonably invested in Hollow Knight, rage quitting dark souls three times before finally beating it. "I'm not good at souls games," you admitted. "I panic dodge. I know you're supposed to learn the patterns but my brain just goes 'roll roll roll' and then I die."
Heeseung laughed. "That's valid. I did the same thing my first playthrough."
"Really? You seem like you'd be one of those people who does no hit runs for fun."
"Absolutely not. I died to the tutorial boss in Elden Ring."
You gasped, mockingly scandalized. "No you didn't."
"I really did. it Took me like fifteen tries." You were laughing now, the kind of laugh that made your whole face light up, and Heeseung felt ridiculously proud that he'd caused it. There was something about making you laugh that felt like winning.
romantic interest +8. humor appreciated.
You kept talking, jumping from topic to topic with the kind of ease that Heeseung had only ever experienced with Jungwon or Jake at best. Except this was different because you were looking at him like everything he said was interesting, like you actually wanted to hear his thoughts on whether the Death Note ending was satisfying or if Eren from Attack on Titan was justified. The sun was properly setting now, painting everything in warm colors. there were fireflies starting to appear, floating lazily through the air in a way that was definitely too perfect to be natural. Heeseung watched one drift past your face, and you reached out to let it land on your finger. "Pretty," you said softly, watching it glow.
Heeseung was looking at you, at the flower still tucked behind your ear and the way the sunset caught in your hair and the small smile on your face as you watched the firefly. "Yeah," he said. "Really pretty." You glanced at him and caught him staring. For a second, Heeseung thought he'd made it weird, but then you smiled, almost shy, and looked back at the firefly.
romantic interest +15. moment shared.
The firefly flew off, and you watched it go before turning back to him. "Hey, can I tell you something?" He nodded so you kept going. "I wasn't really sure about coming today. I almost canceled, actually." You pulled at a thread on your sleeve, not quite meeting his eyes. "I'm not great at the whole meeting new people thing. I always feel like I'm going to say something weird and scare them off."
"You're not weird," Heeseung said automatically.
"You literally just met me. I could be extremely weird."
"Okay, but like, good weird. The kind of weird that's actually interesting." Heeseung ran a hand through his hair, trying to figure out how to explain it. "Most people just want to talk about surface level stuff, you know? But you actually have things you care about."
You looked at him for a long moment, and Heeseung couldn't read your expression. Then you smiled, soft and genuine. "You're really nice, you know that?"
"I'm really not," Heeseung said, but he was smiling too.
"Yes you are. You're nice and you're a good listener and you have good taste in games." You counted off on your fingers. "That's like, three whole good qualities. Most people don't even have one."
There was a moment of comfortable silence where you just sat there, watching the fireflies multiply in the growing dusk. Heeseung thought about how easy this felt, how he wasn't checking the time or looking for excuses to leave. How he kind of never wanted this to end.
You turned your head to look at him. "So do you want to do this again? Like, another time?"
Heeseung's heart did a weird jump in his chest. "Like another date?"
"Yeah. If you want. No pressure or anything." You said it casually, but Heeseung could see the hint of nervousness in the way you weren't quite meeting his eyes. "I just think it'd be fun to hang out more. Maybe we could actually play League together or something."
Every logical part of Heeseung's brain was screaming that this was a bad idea. That he should figure out how to exit this game and go back to real life and deal with the fact that he'd just spent hours in a virtual reality dating sim. But the less logical part, the part that was currently winning, wanted to see you again. Wanted to hear you laugh more. Wanted to keep talking about stupid stuff that mattered to him and apparently mattered to you too. "Yeah," he heard himself say. "Definitely, yeah, I'd really like that."
Your smile was so bright it could've competed with the fireflies. "Okay. It's a date then."
romantic interest +20. second date confirmed. route progression: 15% complete.
And then, without any warning at all, the world started to blur at the edges. The colors bled together, the sounds got muffled and distant, and Heeseung felt that same pulling sensation from before. Like someone had hooked a line to his chest and was reeling him back. "Wait— " he started to say, reaching out instinctively. You were looking at him with concern, mouth moving, but he couldn't hear what you were saying anymore. Everything was dissolving into static and white light and that horrible feeling of falling. The last thing he saw before everything went black was your face, still worried, still perfect, with that flower tucked behind your ear. Then he was gasping awake in his dark bedroom, switch controller still hot in his hands, his heart racing. The screen showed a save menu: progress saved. continue tomorrow?
His hands were shaking. "What the hell," Heeseung said to his empty room.
And he barely slept that night. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw the park, the fireflies, your smile. he kept reaching for memories that felt too solid to be from a game. By the time his alarm went off, he'd already been awake for an hour, staring at his ceiling and trying to convince himself that he hadn't just experienced the most elaborate hallucination of his life.
He found Jungwon in their usual spot in the computer lab, hunched over his laptop with his headphones on, nodding along to whatever he was listening to. There were three empty energy drink cans next to him, which meant he'd probably been there since before sunrise. Heeseung dropped his bag on the desk with more force than necessary. Jungwon jumped, pulling his headphones down. "Jesus, dude. Learn to announce yourself like a normal person."
"We need to talk about your game," Heeseung said.
Jungwon's face lit up. "Oh my god, you played it! what'd you think? Was she cute? Did you get to the part with the—"
"Jungwon." Heeseung sat down, leaning forward. "What the hell did you put in that thing?"
"What do you mean?"
"I mean it was way too real." Heeseung ran his hand through his hair, trying to figure out how to explain something that sounded insane even in his own head. "It felt like I was actually inside the game."
Jungwon frowned. "Wait, you used a VR headset or something?"
"No, I just played it normally! On my switch, in my room." Heeseung could hear how crazy he sounded but he kept going anyway. "But it wasn't like regular gameplay. It was like the game pulled me in. I could smell things, Jungwon."
Jungwon stared at him for a long moment, then slowly took a sip of his energy drink. "Bro. You got that invested in it?"
"I'm not— that's not what I'm saying."
"You literally just described sensory immersion that doesn't exist yet." Jungwon was grinning now. "Holy shit, you're actually down bad. You played a dating sim for like two hours and now you're having full vivid memories about it."
"It wasn't like that," Heeseung insisted, but even he could hear how weak it sounded.
"Dude, you need to get an actual girlfriend. Like, a real one. Made of flesh and blood and everything." Jungwon was trying not to laugh and failing. "Look, I'm glad you liked it. Genuinely. But maybe we should set you up with someone real before you completely lose touch with reality." Heeseung slumped back in his chair. Maybe Jungwon was right. Maybe he had just gotten way too into it. Maybe his brain had filled in details that weren't actually there because he was that desperate for connection. "I'm not judging! Okay, maybe I'm judging a little bit, but I'm also proud. My game is so good it's causing psychological breaks from reality." Jungwon looked genuinely pleased with himself. "Okay, but if you're playing tonight, there's something you should know."
"What?"
"The second date has a mini game. Like, a fight sequence."
Heeseung blinked. "I'm sorry, what?"
"A fighting mini game."
"Why the fuck does a dating simulator have a fighting mini game?"
Jungwon shrugged. "I thought it'd be fun. Adds variety and keeps things interesting."
"That makes absolutely no sense. What am I supposed to be fighting?"
"You'll see," Jungwon said, and his smile was deeply suspicious.
"That's not an answer."
"It's the only answer you're getting. I'm not spoiling my own game." Jungwon turned back to his laptop. "Just make sure you've been keeping up with your stats. You're gonna need decent strength and agility."
"I maxed out humor and left emotional intelligence at zero."
Jungwon turned around slowly. "You what."
"What! I was being honest about my abilities!"
"Heeseung. My guy. My dude." Jungwon looked pained. "You're supposed to actually try to build a good character."
"My character is fine."
"Your character is going to get his ass kicked." Jungwon pulled up something on his laptop, clicked around for a second, then shook his head. "Okay, you know what? It's fine. You'll figure it out. The game has adaptive difficulty anyway."
Heeseung really looked at Jungwon. "Adaptive difficulty in a dating sim."
"In the fighting portion, yeah. The dating part is all you, buddy. That's pure skill based."
Heeseung wanted to argue that there was something deeply wrong with Jungwon's game design philosophy, but he also kind of wanted to know what the hell happened on the second date that required combat stats. "Is she going to be there?" He asked. "During the fight thing?"
"Obviously. It's her date." Jungwon was smirking now. "Why, you worried about impressing her?"
"No."
"You're totally worried about impressing her. A girl who doesn't exist."
Heeseung threw a pen at him. Jungwon dodged it without even looking up from his screen. And the rest of the day dragged. Heeseung went to his classes and took notes and nodded at the appropriate times, but his brain was somewhere else entirely. He kept thinking about the park. About the way you'd looked at him when he gave you the flower. About how easy it had been to talk to you. He knew it was just a game. He knew you were just code, just a really well designed character or whatever that Jungwon had somehow made feel real. But knowing that didn't stop him from wanting to see you again.
By the time he got back to his dorm that night, he'd already decided he was playing regardless of how pathetic it made him look. He grabbed his switch, plugged in his headphones even though he hadn't used them last time, and loaded up the save file. The screen flickered once. Twice. Here we go again, Heeseung thought. And then the world tilted, and he was falling forward into light. When the world stopped spinning and Heeseung's vision cleared, he wasn't in a park this time. He was sitting in a desk chair, his own desk chair. In what looked exactly like his dorm room, except cleaner, way cleaner. His laundry wasn't on the floor and his desk wasn't covered in empty energy drink cans. His monitor was on, displaying his league of legends home screen, and his keyboard had that soft RGB glow that looked way more expensive than his actual setup.
"Okay," Heeseung said to the empty room. "This is new." His phone — or the game's version of his phone — buzzed on the desk. He picked it up and saw a discord notification.
you: you're online! finally
you: i've been waiting like ten minutes
you: i was starting to think you ghosted me
Heeseung's heart did that stupid jump thing again. He typed back quickly.
heeseung: sorry, just got on
heeseung: ready when you are
His discord pinged with an incoming call. He stared at it for a second, then clicked accept. "There you are," your voice came through his headphones, clear and warm and doing absolutely nothing good for his heart rate. "I thought you bailed on me."
"I wouldn't do that," Heeseung said, and he meant it, which was concerning considering you were a video game character.
"Good. Because I already said we were playing together and if you didn't show up i would've looked stupid." Heeseung could hear the smile in your voice. on his second monitor — since when did he have a second monitor? — a small window popped up showing your avatar. It was cute, some anime style drawing with the same flower from yesterday tucked behind the character's ear. "Okay, so I set up a custom game. Two versus two," you said.
"Sounds good. Who are we playing against?"
There was a pause. "Okay, so don't freak out, but it's my exes."
Heeseung's hand froze on his mouse. "I'm sorry, what?"
"My ex boyfriends. Both of them. They wanted a rematch from last time." You said it so casually, like this was a completely normal thing. "They're kind of toxic about League. They got really mad when I beat them."
"You want me to play League against your ex boyfriends?"
"Technically we're playing against them together as a team. Bonding activity!" You sounded way too cheerful about this. "Come on, It'll be fun. Plus i really want to beat them again. They've been talking shit in the group chat all week."
quest unlocked: defend your girlfriend's honor (in league of legends) | objective: win the 2v2 match | optional objective: make her exes regret queueing up
The notification appeared in the corner of his vision and Heeseung had to resist the urge to laugh. This was insane. This entire situation was insane. But he went for it anyway. "Okay," he said. "Let's do it." the invite popped up and Heeseung accepted. The lobby loaded and he could see the other two players: "toxicking" and "yourworstnightmare" which were possibly the most obnoxious usernames he'd ever seen. "Those are real people you dated?" Heeseung asked.
"Unfortunately. My taste in men used to be really bad." You paused. "It's gotten better though." Heeseung tried not to smile and failed completely.
The chat lobby loaded and immediately one of them started typing.
toxicking: oh look who showed up
toxicking: brought a new victim i see
yourworstnightmare: this gonna be quick lol
"They're always like this," you said, sounding tired. "Just mute them if they get annoying."
"I'm fine," Heeseung said. "I've dealt with worse in solo queue."
"Ooh, confident. I like it."
romantic interest +5. confidence appreciated.
You locked in Janna, just like you'd said yesterday. Heeseung hovered over Zed for a second, then switched to Leblanc. If this was going to be a two versus two, he wanted mobility and burst damage. The game loaded, Heeseung cracked his knuckles and adjusted his grip on his mouse. "Okay, game plan," you said. "I keep you alive, you delete them. Simple." The match started and immediately the other team was in all chat. Heeseung checked their champions. Yasuo and Yone. Of course they were playing the flashy high skill ceiling champions. He would've bet money they had mastery 7 emotes ready to spam. "They always play like this," you said. "Super aggressive, trying to outplay everything. It's kind of predictable once you get used to it." The minions spawned and both teams moved forward. Heeseung played it safe at first, watching how the exes moved, learning their patterns. And then suddenly, first blood!
"THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT," you shouted, and Heeseung couldn't help but grin.
toxicking: wtf
toxicking: that was lag
yourworstnightmare: ur getting carried
yourworstnightmare: ur duo is doing everything
"He's salty," you said, laughing. "This is great." The match continued and it became increasingly clear that Heeseung and you had better coordination. You'd shield him right before he went in. You moved together like you'd been playing as a duo for months. "Behind you," you called out, and Heeseung instantly dodged. It wasn't even close. By fifteen minutes, the score was 15 to 3, and Heeseung had more kills than both of the exes combined.
toxicking: this is bullshit
toxicking: whoever this guy is he's probably smurfing
yourworstnightmare: yeah no way he's actually this rank
toxicking: fucking carried loser
"They're so mad," you said, and you sounded absolutely delighted. "Oh my god, they're so mad. This is the best day of my life."
Heeseung was grinning so hard his face hurt. "Should we end it?"
"Absolutely, yeah. Let's make it hurt." You pushed mid together. Heeseung went in first, deleting the Yasuo instantly. You polymorphed the Yone, and Heeseung finished him off before the polymorph even ended. The nexus exploded.
victory! +50 romantic interest. victory achieved. quest completed. achievement unlocked: better than her exes (at league of legends)
Heeseung leaned back in his chair, feeling more satisfied than he had any right to feel about a video game within a video game. "That felt good."
"Right? God, I've been wanting to do that for weeks." You sighed happily. "You're really good, by the way. You weren't kidding about being diamond."
"I don't really joke about my rank."
"Noted. Confidence is earned." There was a pause. "Hey, want to play another one? Just us this time?"
Heeseung absolutely should not spend more time in this game. He should log off and go to sleep and maybe talk to a therapist about why he was emotionally investing in a dating simulator. "Yeah," he said instead. "Let's play another."
You made a happy sound that did dangerous things to his chest. "Okay! I'll make the lobby.” Your laugh was bright and genuine and perfect. "I knew you were my type."
You played two more games and won both of them. When you finally left the lobby, Heeseung realized he'd been playing for almost two hours. His hands were sore from gripping the mouse and his face hurt from smiling. "Hey," you said, your voice softer now. "Thanks for playing with me. And for, you know, obliterating my exes. That was really fun."
"Anytime," Heeseung said, and meant it. "This was really fun. I don't usually have this much fun playing league."
"Me neither," you admitted. "Usually it's just people being toxic or trying too hard. But this was nice. You're nice." There was a comfortable silence, just the sound of both of you breathing through the discord call. Heeseung looked at his monitor, at the League client, at the clean version of his room that didn't exist in real life. "So," you said eventually. "Same time next week?"
Heeseung's chest tightened. "Yeah. Definitely."
"Cool. It's a date." You paused. "Well, another date. Our third date. Okay. Well. I should probably get going. Okay. Goodnight, Heeseung."
"Goodnight." The discord call ended and Heeseung sat there in the quiet of his too clean room, staring at his monitor. The screen started to blur at the edges, colors bleeding together again. Here we go again, he thought, again.
progress saved. route progression: 30% complete.
And this whole thing it became a routine faster than Heeseung wanted to admit. He'd go to class, take notes he barely remembered, nod at Jungwon when they crossed paths in the lab, and then he'd go straight back to his dorm. Dinner was whatever he could eat with one hand because he was already booting up the switch with the other. Jake, his roommate, asked him once if he was okay, and Heeseung said he was fine, just really into this new game. Which was technically true, even if it didn't come close to explaining what was actually happening.
The third date was at an arcade. Not a real arcade, obviously, but the game's version of one. You showed up wearing this oversized hoodie and jeans and you looked so genuinely excited to be there that Heeseung forgot for a solid minute that none of this was real. The mission was simple: win you a prize from the claw machine. Except the claw machine was rigged in that way that all claw machines are rigged, and it took Heeseung fifteen tries before he finally got the stuffed cat you'd been eyeing. When he handed it to you, you hugged it to your chest and smiled at him like he'd just won you something actually valuable, and the notification that popped up said his charm stat had increased by ten points. He was starting to understand how the game worked now; every interaction mattered and every choice added up.
On the fourth date, you took him to a bookstore, and the mission was to pick out a book for each other. You spent almost an hour wandering through the aisles, pulling out books and reading the backs and showing him things you thought he'd like. You picked him this SciFi novel about time loops and said it reminded you of him because he seemed like someone who'd want to figure out how to break the system. He didn't know how to tell you that he was currently living in something that felt suspiciously like a time loop, so he just took the book and thanked you. He picked you a fantasy novel with a really detailed magic system. When you read the description your whole face lit up and you immediately added it to your reading list. His intelligence stat increased and so did the romantic interest meter, which was now sitting at somewhere close to seventy percent.
Date five was a cooking challenge in your apartment, which Heeseung didn't even know you had until he loaded into the game and found himself standing in a kitchen that looked like it came out of an interior design magazine. You were already there, tying your hair back, explaining that you'd challenged him to see who could make the better pasta. Heeseung had never cooked pasta in his life that didn't come from a box with instructions, but he wasn't about to admit that. The mission objective said to impress you with his cooking skills, which seemed optimistic given his actual skill level, but he tried anyway. He burned the garlic immediately. You laughed at him but not in a mean way, more like you thought it was endearing that he was trying. You ended up helping him, standing close enough that he could smell your perfume, guiding his hands when he didn't know how much salt to add. Your pasta turned out better than his but you ate his anyway and said it wasn't that bad, and his cooking stat went from zero to fifteen which felt generous but he wasn't complaining.
By date seven Heeseung's character stats had changed completely. His confidence was maxed out now, sitting at ninety five out of a hundred. his charm was at eighty. Even his emotional intelligence had somehow climbed to sixty despite him never actively trying to level it up. The game was keeping track of everything, he realized. Every time he listened to you talk about something you cared about, every time he remembered a small detail you'd mentioned, every time he made you laugh, the numbers went up. He was being rewarded for paying attention, for caring.
Date seven was a hiking trail that wound up a mountain to a viewpoint. The mission was just to reach the top together, which sounded simple except the trail was longer than expected. Heeseung offered to take a break but you said you wanted to keep going, you wanted to see the view. So you kept climbing and Heeseung found himself naturally slowing his pace to match yours, offering his hand on the steeper parts, pointing out interesting rocks or plants just to give you reasons to stop and catch his breath, because the game kept showing pop ups of him showing that his hydration meter was almost on 10%. When you finally reached the top the sun was setting and the view was objectively incredible, the kind of thing that didn't exist in real life because real life didn't have rendering engines that could make every cloud perfect. You sat down on the bench at the summit and Heeseung sat next to you and you leaned your head on his shoulder like it was the most natural thing in the world.
"This is nice," you said quietly. "I'm glad you're here."
"Me too," Heeseung said, and he meant it so completely it scared him.
"You know, when we first met, I wasn't sure if this would work out. I didn't like the idea of a blind date." You were looking out at the view, not at him. "But I think I was wrong. I think we make sense together."
The romantic interest meter hit ninety percent and a new notification appeared: relationship milestone approaching. prepare for confession sequence. Heeseung's stomach dropped. Confession sequence. That meant the game was building toward something, toward an ending. toward him having to either commit or walk away. He'd known this was coming, obviously, this was a dating sim, the whole point was to get to the confession. But now that it was actually happening he wasn't ready. He didn't want this to end. He wanted to keep going on dates and learning things about you and making you laugh and existing in this space where things made sense.
"Hey," you said, turning to look at him. "You okay? You got quiet."
"Yeah, I'm fine," Heeseung lied. "Just thinking."
"About what?"
About how you're not real, he didn't say. About how I'm going to have to leave eventually and you'll just be code again. About how I'm way too invested in something that was only supposed to be a game. "About how nice this is," he said instead.
You smiled and took his hand, lacing your fingers through his. "Yeah. It really is." You sat there until the sun finished setting and the stars came out, which happened too fast because game time didn't move like real time. When the world started to blur at the edges and Heeseung felt that familiar pulling sensation, you squeezed his hand once before letting go. "See you next time," you said, and your voice was already fading.
Heeseung woke up at his desk again, neck sore, hands cramped around the controller. His phone showed it was three in the morning. He had class in five hours. He should sleep. He should eat something. He should probably shower because he wasn't sure he'd done that today. Instead he looked at the switch screen. progress saved. route progression: 90% complete. next date: confession sequence available.
The next day, Heeseung found Jungwon in the same spot as always, corner desk in the computer lab with three monitors running different programs simultaneously. Heeseung dropped into the chair next to him hard enough that Jungwon jumped. "What happens after the confession?" Heeseung asked without preamble.
Jungwon blinked at him. "What?"
"In your game. What happens after the confession scene. I need to know."
"Oh, you're at that part already?" Jungwon's eyebrows went up. "Uh, I don't know if i should tell you though. Spoilers and all that."
"Jungwon."
"I'm serious! The whole point of a game is discovering it yourself. If I tell you what happens it ruins the experience." Jungwon was grinning now, clearly enjoying this. "You're supposed to go in blind and make your choices based on what feels right in the moment."
Heeseung resisted the urge to grab him by the shoulders and shake him. "I just want to know what to expect. Is there a good ending? A bad ending? Multiple endings?"
"There are multiple endings, yeah. Depends on your choices throughout the game and your final stats." Jungwon tilted his head, studying him. "Why are you so stressed about this? It's just a game. If you get a bad ending you can just reload and try again."
"I don't want to reload," Heeseung said, and he could hear how intense he sounded but couldn't seem to stop. "I want to get it right the first time."
Jungwon stared at him for a long moment, then slowly set down his drink. "Okay, you need to be honest with me right now. How much have you been playing this game?"
"I don't know. A few hours a day."
"Heeseung."
"Okay, maybe more than a few hours."
"How many hours are we talking? Ballpark estimate."
Heeseung did the mental math and immediately regretted it. "I don't think that's relevant."
"Oh my god, you're obsessed." Jungwon leaned back in his chair, looking somewhere between amused and concerned. "Dude, it's a dating sim. A fictional dating sim. With a fictional girl who doesn't exist. You know that, right? You know she's not real?"
"Obviously I know that," Heeseung said defensively, even though there were moments when he forgot, when you felt so real that it didn't matter what you were made of.
"Do you though? Because you look like you haven't slept in three days." Jungwon was trying to be lighthearted about it but there was genuine worry underneath. "I made the game to be immersive but this is kind of next level." Jungwon paused. "Actually, I've been meaning to ask. Do you have the save file on your switch?"
"Yeah, why?"
"Can I see it? I want to check something." Jungwon was already pulling out a cable from his bag. "I've been trying to track some of the game metrics and I want to see how your playthrough data looks. Might help me optimize things for the final build." Heeseung hesitated for a second, then pulled out his switch and handed it over. Jungwon connected it to his laptop and started pulling up files, his eyes scanning lines of code that moved too fast for Heeseung to follow. "Okay so your save file shows you're at ninety percent completion, which tracks," Jungwon muttered, clicking through folders. "Romance points are maxed, most of your stats are really high except wisdom which is still somehow at like twenty, but that's on you for ignoring all the library study sessions —" He stopped mid-sentence. "Wait."
"What?"
"Hang on." Jungwon leaned closer to his screen, scrolling through something. his expression shifted from curious to confused to something that looked almost worried. "This doesn't make sense."
"What doesn't make sense?"
"These files. There are scripts here that I didn't write." Jungwon opened another window, comparing code side by side. "Like, entire dialogue trees that don't exist in my original build. And these asset files, I definitely didn't create these. The arcade date was supposed to be at a generic arcade but your file shows custom assets for specific machines."
Heeseung felt something cold settle in his stomach. "Maybe you forgot you added them?"
"I don't forget code I write, Heeseung. That's not how this works." Jungwon was scrolling faster now, opening more files. "And look at this, the dating locations are generating based on your preferences. I programmed like five set locations but your save file has seven different ones and they're all places that align with interests you've demonstrated in gameplay." He clicked on something else. "Oh this is weird. Really weird."
"What?"
"The dialogue system. I built it to pull from a database of pre written responses with some randomization for variety, but this–-" Jungwon gestured at the screen. "This is learning. It's analyzing your responses and generating new dialogue options that don't exist in my database. It's writing its own conversations."
"Is that bad?"
"It's not bad, it's impossible. I didn't program that. I don't even know how to program that." Jungwon looked up at him, and for the first time since Heeseung had known him, he looked genuinely unsettled. "Your game is developing its own code."
They sat in silence for a moment, the only sound the hum of the computer lab's ventilation system and the clicking of someone's mechanical keyboard a few desks over. "Is that dangerous?" Heseung asked.
"I don't know. Probably not? I mean, it's still just a game. It's not like it can affect anything outside of itself." Jungwon didn't sound entirely convinced though. "But it's definitely something I need to look into. This could be a massive bug or it could be the framework doing something really innovative that I didn't anticipate."
"But the game still works, right? Like, I can still finish it?"
Jungwon gave him a look. "You're really determined to finish this thing, aren't you?"
"I'm ninety percent through. I'm not stopping now."
"Even knowing that the game is apparently developing sentience or whatever?"
"It's not sentient, it's just adaptive," Heeseung said, trying to sound convincing.
Jungwon sighed and unplugged the switch, handing it back to him. "Okay, fine. But I'm keeping a copy of your save data so I can analyze this more. And maybe after you're done we can talk about what's actually happening here because this is either a huge breakthrough in game design or a really concerning glitch and I genuinely can't tell which." Heeseung nodded, pocketing the switch. "And Heeseung?" Jungwon's expression was serious now. "Be careful with the confession sequence. I know you want to get it right but just remember that at the end of the day it's still a program. It's responding to inputs and generating outputs. It's not actually feeling anything."
Heeseung nodded, but he was thinking about the way you'd looked at him during the sunset on the hiking date or about how your smile seemed genuinely happy when he won you the stuffed cat. "Right," he said. "Yeah, I know that." Jungwon didn't look convinced, and honestly, Heeseung wasn't either.
By the time he got back to his dorm that evening, he'd made a decision. He was going to finish the game. He was going to do the confession sequence. And he was going to be honest, say what he actually felt, because even if you were just code, the feelings were real, his feelings were real. That had to count for something. So he sat down at his desk, picked up his switch, and loaded the save file. the screen showed the usual menu: Continue, Load, Settings. He selected continue and the familiar loading screen appeared with its soft music and the progress bar that now read ninety percent. The world loaded and Heeseung found himself standing in front of a location marker that hadn't been there before. It was highlighted in gold and pulsing softly, and when he walked up to it, a notification appeared.
final date available: confession sequence. proceed?
Heeseung took a breath, his actual physical breath in his actual room, and then pressed yes. The world reformed around him and he was standing outside an apartment building he recognized as yours. The sun was setting, painting everything in warm golden light. His outfit had changed without him doing anything; he was wearing a button up shirt now, dark jeans, shoes that were nicer than anything he owned in real life. His hair felt different too, like someone had styled it properly instead of his usual routine of running his fingers through it and hoping for the best. And then a notification appeared:
quest: the perfect date. objective: confess your feelings. bonus objective: make it memorable.
current stats — confidence: 95. charm: 80. emotional intelligence: 60. romantic interest: 90%.
Heeseung looked at the apartment door and a dialogue option popped up floating in his vision.
> knock on the door > text her that you're here > wait for her to come down
He selected the first option because knocking felt more personal, more intentional. He walked up to the door and knocked three times, and there was this weird moment where he could feel his heart actually racing even though he was pretty sure his real body was just sitting in a chair holding a controller. The door opened and you were there, and Heeseung forgot how to think for a second. You were wearing a dress, which he'd never seen you in before. It wasn't overly fancy, just simple and nice and it suited you in a way that made his chest tight. Your hair was down and you'd clearly put in effort and you looked nervous in a way that made him want to tell you that you had nothing to be nervous about. "Hi," you said, and you were smiling but there was something uncertain in it.
dialogue options: > you look really pretty > ready to go? > sorry, am i early?
Heeseung picked the first one without hesitating. "You look really pretty," he said, and his voice came out steadier than he expected.
Your smile got more genuine, less nervous. "Yeah? I wasn't sure if this was too much. You didn't tell me where we were going."
"It's perfect," Heeseung said, even though he also didn't know where you were going.
romance +5. successful compliment.
You grabbed your bag and locked the door behind you, and when you turned back to him there was this moment where Heeseung almost offered his hand but wasn't sure if that was too much. The game solved the problem for him by providing another choice.
action options: > offer your arm > walk beside her casually > hold her hand
He selected the first one, old fashioned but confident, and held out his arm. You looked at it for a second and then smiled and took it, linking your arm through his, and suddenly you were walking together down the street like this was something you did all the time. "So where are we going?" You asked, looking up at him.
"This place I found," Heeseung said, even though he hadn't found anything because this was a game and the location was predetermined. "I thought you'd like it."
The restaurant, when you got there, was the kind of place Heeseung had only seen in movies. Small and intimate with soft lighting and candles on every table and windows that looked out over the city. There was a host at the front who smiled at them like he'd been expecting them, and he led them to a table by the window without Heeseung having to say anything. You sat down across from him and looked around, eyes wide. "Heeseung, this place is really nice. You didn't have to do all this."
dialogue options: > i wanted to > you deserve it > it's not that fancy
He picked the second one. "you deserve it," he said, and you looked at him with this expression he couldn't quite read but that made something warm settle in his chest. The waiter came by with menus and Heeseung noticed that all the food options had little stat indicators next to them. Ordering the pasta would give a +5 to sophistication. The steak was +8 to confidence. The wine selection had various charisma bonuses. It was surreal, sitting in what looked like a real restaurant while video game mechanics floated at the edge of his vision. "What are you thinking about?" You asked, and Heeseung realized he'd been quiet for too long.
dialogue options: > just trying to decide what to order > thinking about how nice this is > thinking about you
The third option felt too direct, too soon, so he went with the second. "Just thinking about how nice this is," he said. "Being here with you."
You smiled and looked down at your menu, and Heeseung could see the faint blush on your cheeks. "Yeah. It is nice." You both ordered food and fell into easy conversation. You told him about something funny that happened in your class and he told you about nearly falling asleep during a lecture that morning. The food came and it was actually good, or at least the game's version of good, and Heeseung found himself relaxing into the moment.
Halfway through dinner, you reached across the table and stole a bite of his food without asking. It was casual and comfortable and exactly the kind of thing you'd done on previous dates, but this time when you pulled back, Heeseung caught your hand before you could fully retreat.
action options: > hold her hand > let go after a moment > bring her hand to your lips (high risk)
His confidence stat was at ninety five. He picked the first option and just held your hand there on the table, his fingers laced through yours, and you looked surprised for a second before your expression softened into something that looked almost relieved. "Is this okay?" Heeseung asked quietly.
"Yeah," you said, and your voice was just as quiet. "This is okay."
You finished dinner like that, hands linked across the table, and Heeseung had never felt more present in a moment that he knew wasn't technically real. When the waiter brought the check, Heeseung paid without looking at it, because, well, that wasn't his real money. And you didn't protest, just squeezed his hand once and smiled. Outside the restaurant, the city had transformed into its night version. String lights hung between buildings and the streetlamps cast everything in a warm glow. There was soft music coming from somewhere, ambient and atmospheric. "Do you want to walk for a bit?" You asked. "I'm not really ready to go home yet."
dialogue options: > absolutely > whatever you want > i was hoping you'd say that
Heeseung picked the last one. "I was hoping you'd say that," he said, and you laughed and pulled him down the street, still holding his hand.
You walked through the city without any real destination, just moving together, and Heeseung was hyperaware of every point of contact between you. Your hand in his, the occasional brush of your shoulder against his arm, the way you'd lean into him slightly when you laughed at something he said. Eventually you led him to a park that Heeseung didn't remember seeing before. It was mostly empty at this time of night, just a few NPCs scattered around looking decorative. There was a fountain in the center and benches arranged around it, and you pulled him toward one of the benches and sat down, tugging him down next to you. You didn't let go of his hand. "Can I tell you something?" You asked, looking at the fountain instead of at him.
"Of course," Heeseung said.
You took a breath. "I really like spending time with you. Like, really like it. You make me feel like I can just be myself and that's enough, you know? I don't have to try to be cooler or funnier or different. I can just exist and you seem to like that."
Heeseung's throat felt tight. "I do like that," he managed. "I like you exactly how you are."
critical moment approaching. romance threshold: 95%.
You finally turned to look at him, and your expression was nervous and hopeful and vulnerable in a way that made Heeseung forget that you were supposed to be code. "The thing is," you continued, "I don't usually do this. I don't usually let people get close like this. But with you it felt easy from the start and now I'm just —" you stopped, searching for words. "I'm really happy you're here."
confession sequence initiated. select response: > i'm happy too > i feel the same way > i need to tell you something
Heeseung knew this was it. This was the moment the whole game had been building toward. All those dates, All those conversations, all those stat increases and romance points, everything had led to this choice. He could play it safe with the first two options or he could go all in with the third one. His confidence was maxed out. He'd earned this moment. So he picked the third option.
"I need to tell you something," Heeseung said, and his voice was steadier than he expected. "I didn't really know what to expect when we first met. I thought maybe it'd be awkward or forced or like every other time I've tried to get to know someone. But it wasn't like that at all." You were watching him carefully, not interrupting, and Heeseung kept going. "You're the first person in a really long time who makes me want to actually try, you know? Like, I want to be someone worth your time. I want to hear about your day and your opinions on League of Legends and game mechanics or how you wanted to live on a farm one day. I want to keep doing this, all of it, for as long as you'll let me." Romance stats were at 98% now. "What I'm trying to say is —" Heeseung paused, and the game provided one final choice, the last decision that would determine everything.
final confession: > i really like you > i think i'm falling for you > i'm in love with you
Heeseung looked at you, at the way you were watching him with your full attention, at the hope in your expression, at how real you felt in this moment. He picked the middle option, the one that was honest without being overwhelming. "I think I'm falling for you," he said quietly. "Actually, I don't think. I know. I'm falling for you and I don't really know how to stop and I don't think I want to."
The world seemed to hold its breath. Even the ambient sounds of the park faded into nothing. You were staring at him with wide eyes and Heeseung's heart was racing and for one terrible second he thought he'd picked wrong, said too much, ruined everything.
Then you smiled, the kind of smile that started small and grew until it took over your whole face, and you said, "oh thank god."
"What?"
"I've been trying to figure out how to tell you the same thing for like days now." You were laughing, almost giddy with relief. "I kept overthinking it and planning the perfect moment and the perfect words and then you just — you just said it and it was perfect anyway."
"So," Heeseung said, because he needed to be absolutely sure. "Does that mean —" You didn't let him finish. You just leaned in and kissed him.
For a second, Heeseung's brain completely short circuited. This wasn't supposed to happen yet. He'd expected more dialogue options, maybe a choice prompt, some kind of warning that this moment was coming. But there was nothing, just the sudden warmth of your lips against his and the way his entire nervous system seemed to light up all at once. It wasn't dramatic or earth shattering or any of the things movies made kissing out to be. It was soft and brief and a little tentative, like you weren't entirely sure if you were doing it right. Your lips were warm and you tasted faintly like the wine from dinner and Heeseung could feel your hand trembling slightly where it was still holding his. He barely had time to process any of it, to kiss you back properly, before you pulled away, looking nervous again.
"Was that okay?" You asked, and your voice was quieter than before, uncertain. "I should have asked first probably but you were taking too long to —"
Heeseung cut you off by kissing you again, properly this time. He brought one hand up to cup your face and he could feel how warm your skin was under his palm, could feel the slight texture of it like actual skin and not polygons. His other hand stayed linked with yours and he squeezed gently, anchoring himself to you, to this moment that felt too real to be made of code. This kiss was different from the first one. Longer, more certain, like now that he knew what he was doing he could actually do it right. You made this small sound against his mouth, something between a sigh and a hum, and Heeseung felt it all the way down to his toes. He tilted his head slightly to deepen the kiss and you responded immediately, your free hand coming up to rest against his chest, fingers curling into the fabric of his shirt.
This has too much detail, Heeseung thought distantly. Games didn't work like this. He shouldn't be able to feel the way your breath hitched when he kissed the corner of your mouth. Shouldn't be able to notice how you leaned into him, closing whatever small distance had been between you. Shouldn't be able to smell your perfume or feel the way your hair brushed against his hand when you tilted your head.
romance: 100%. relationship established | achievement unlocked: first kiss | achievement unlocked: good ending route - mutual confession.
You pulled back just enough to breathe, and Heeseung followed without thinking, not ready to stop yet. You laughed softly against his mouth, the sound vibrating between you, and kissed him again. This time it was you who took control, you who pressed closer, and Heeseung let you, his hand sliding from your cheek to the back of your neck, fingers tangling in your hair. He could feel your heartbeat and that's what finally made his brain catch up to what was happening. His thumb was resting against your pulse point and he could feel it racing, quick and real and impossible. Games didn't simulate heartbeats. Games didn't need that level of detail. But he could feel it anyway, the proof that maybe you were here, that this was happening, even if it shouldn't be possible.
"Okay," you said quietly, and you were smiling. He could hear it in your voice even before he saw it.
Heeseung laughed, the sound coming out rougher than he intended. "That was better than okay."
You opened your eyes and looked at him, and Heeseung's breath caught because the detail was impossible. He could see the exact color of your eyes, could see the way they reflected the light from the streetlamps, could see the slight dilation of your pupils. This wasn't game graphics. This was too real. This was beyond anything Jungwon could have programmed. "You're staring," you said, but you didn't sound upset about it. If anything you sounded pleased, a little shy.
"Sorry," Heeseung said, but he didn't look away. "I'm just — you're really pretty."
You bit your lip, trying not to smile too wide, and Heeseung watched the movement with more attention than was probably appropriate. He wanted to kiss you again. He wanted to stay in this moment forever. He wanted to understand how any of this was possible. "Can I ask you something?" Heeseung said, his voice barely above a whisper because speaking any louder felt like it would shatter whatever spell they were under.
"Anything," you said, and your hand was still pressed against his chest and Heeseung wondered if you could feel his heartbeat too, if the game had coded that detail as well.
"Does this feel real to you?"
You tilted your head slightly, considering the question. "What do you mean?"
"This. Us. Right now." Heeseung knew he wasn't making sense but he needed to know, needed to understand if you felt it too, this strange impossible realness of everything. "Does it feel real?"
You were quiet for a moment, your expression thoughtful, and then you squeezed his hand. "It's the most real thing I've ever felt," you said simply. "Why? Does it not feel real to you?"
"No, it does. That's the problem." Heeseung couldn't explain what he meant without revealing that you were in a game, that this was all supposed to be simulation, that none of this should feel the way it did. "It feels too real."
"I don't think something can feel too real," you said, and you leaned in and pecked his lips, soft and quick. "Either it's real or it's not. And this is real." Heeseung wanted to argue, wanted to explain all the reasons why this couldn't be real, why you couldn't be real. Maybe it didn't matter. maybe real was just whatever felt like this. "Kiss me again," you said against his mouth, and it wasn't really a question. So Heeseung did. He kissed you until he forgot where he ended and you began, until the only thing that existed was this: You and him and this impossible moment that felt more real than anything in his actual life ever had.
Eventually though, the world started to glitch again. The colors began bleeding together and the sounds got distant and muffled. Heeseung felt that familiar pulling sensation and knew his time was up. "Hey," he said urgently, taking both your hands. "I—"
"It's okay," you said, and you were smiling even though your eyes looked sad. "I know you have to go."
"I don't want to."
"I know. But you'll come back, right?"
save data complete. route finished: good ending achieved. new game+ unlocked. additional content available.
"Yeah," Heeseung promised. "I'll come back."
You kissed him one more time, quick and desperate, and then the world dissolved completely and Heeseung was falling backward through light and color and static. He woke up gasping in his desk chair, controller clutched in his hands so tight his fingers had gone numb. The switch screen was showing the ending credits, rolling slowly with soft music playing. His face felt wet and he realized with some embarrassment that he was crying.
congratulations! you've completed the good ending route.
relationship status: official couple.
total play time: 51 hours, 23 minutes.
would you like to start new game+ with additional couple content?
yes / no
Heeseung stared at the options, his hands still shaking, his heart still racing. He thought about you, about your smile and your laugh and the way you'd kissed him. He thought about how none of it was real but all of it felt real, which was somehow worse. But there was more content. The game was offering him more time with you. More dates, more conversations, more moments. How could he say no to that?
His thumb hovered over the yes option for only a second before he pressed it. The screen went black. Heeseung waited. The switch made its usual loading sound, the soft hum that meant something was processing. He stared at the blank screen and waited for the menu to load, for the game to boot up, for something to happen. But nothing happened, the screen stayed completely black. No loading bar, no menu, no error message. Just his own reflection staring back at him in the screen's surface. He looked terrible, he realized distantly. His eyes were red rimmed and his hair was a mess and he looked like he hadn't slept in days, which was probably accurate.
"Come on," Heeseung muttered, pressing the home button. The switch menu popped up normally, showing all his other games, his profile, the usual interface. He clicked back into Girlfriend Simulator and the screen went black again. he waited another thirty seconds, nothing. He restarted the entire console. When it booted back up and he launched the game, the screen flickered once, twice, and then showed the title screen. Heeseung felt relief flood through him, almost dizzy with it. He clicked continue. The screen loaded for a moment, and then: game over. thank you for playing.
Credits started rolling. The same soft music from before, the same slow scroll of names and acknowledgments. Heeseung watched them pass in disbelief, his stomach sinking further with each line. When the credits finished, it kicked him back to the title screen. He clicked continue again. Same thing: game over, credits, title screen. "What the hell," Heeseung said out loud. He tried load game instead, pulling up his save files. They were all there, all his progress, all forty seven hours of gameplay. He selected the most recent one, the completed route with the good ending marker.
this save file has been completed | start new game+ to continue.
He clicked yes. Black screen. Then after a long pause: error: unable to load content.
"No no no no," Heeseung heard himself saying, clicking frantically now, trying every option, every menu, every possible path to get back into the game. Nothing worked. He checked the time on his phone. 3:29 am. He'd been playing for hours and now he'd been trying to reload for almost thirty minutes. His rational brain knew he should sleep, should deal with this tomorrow when he was thinking clearly, but his rational brain had apparently left the building several dates ago.
He pulled up his recent calls and hit jungwon's name before he could think better of it. it rang once, twice, three times. Then voicemail, Jungwon's voice cheerful and pre recorded telling him to leave a message. Of course Jungwon wasn't answering, it was almost four in the morning. Normal people were asleep at four in the morning. Normal people weren't having breakdowns over video games at four in the morning. Heeseung put his head in his hands and tried to remember the last time he'd felt this hollow about something ending. A relationship, maybe, though his dating history was sparse enough that he couldn't think of a good comparison. This felt worse somehow. The rational part of his brain that hadn't completely shut down was telling him this was ridiculous. Well, it could happen, people got attached to fictional characters all the time. The solution was obvious: take a break, get some perspective, maybe go outside and remember what actual human interaction felt like.
But the rest of him, the larger and louder part, was stuck on the way you'd looked at him on that park bench. The way you'd smiled when he gave you the flower. The way you'd kissed him like you'd been wanting to for a while and were just waiting for permission. The way you'd felt real, impossibly real, more real than most of the interactions he had in his day to day life. "It's not real," Heeseung said out loud to his dark room, his voice rough. "She's not real. It's just code. Just really good code that learned too well."
But his chest ached anyway. And somewhere around six am, Heeseung finally drifted into an uneasy sleep, his switch still sitting on his desk with the title screen frozen on the display. When his alarm went off three hours later for his morning class, Heeseung woke up feeling worse than when he'd gone to sleep. His eyes were gritty and his head hurt and his chest still had that hollow ache that he couldn't explain away as anything other than what it was.
Heeseung found Jungwon in the computer lab during lunch, exactly where he always was. "Hey," Heeseung said, dropping into the chair next to him. He pulled his switch out of his bag and set it on the desk between them. "The game broke."
"What do you mean broke?" Jungwon glanced at the switch, then at Heeseung, then did a double take. "Dude, you look terrible."
He decided to ignore that. "I mean I finished it. Got to the end, got the good ending, and then it asked if i wanted to start new game plus." Heeseung picked up the switch and demonstrated, clicking through the menus. "I said yes and then it just stopped working. Look, it keeps giving me this error or just showing the game over screen. I can load old saves but I can't progress forward."
Jungwon took the switch, frowning at the screen. He clicked through a few menus, tried the same things Heeseung had tried, and his frown deepened. "That's weird. The new game plus feature should be fully implemented. I tested it before I gave you the build."
"Well it's not working now."
"Yeah, I can see that." Jungwon was scrolling through something, his expression shifting from confused to concerned. "This is really strange. It's like the save file is corrupted but also not corrupted? Like it knows you finished the route but it can't load the post game content."
"Can you fix it?" Heeseung asked, and he hated how desperate he sounded but couldn't seem to help it.
Jungwon looked at him for a long moment. "I can try. I'll need to take this and run some diagnostics, see what's actually happening in the backend. But Heeseung, I need you to manage your expectations here."
"What does that mean?"
"It means this is a test build. That's literally why I asked you to play it, to find bugs like this. If something went seriously wrong with the code, if the file corruption is bad enough, I might have to rebuild the entire post game sequence from scratch. That's going to take time."
"How much time?" Heeseung asked, and his voice came out smaller than he intended.
"I don't know. Could be that I have to scrap this version entirely and start over with a clean build." Jungwon was being gentle about it but firm, like he needed Heeseung to understand the reality of the situation. "This is what testing is for dude, finding the breaking points before release."
Heeseung felt something sink in his chest. Weeks. Or maybe never, if Jungwon had to start over. "Okay," he said, because what else could he say. "Okay, just let me know what you find."
"Yeah." Jungwon pocketed the switch cartridge and gave Heeseung another concerned look. "Seriously though, are you okay? You're acting really weird about this."
"I'm fine," Heeseung lied. "Just frustrated. I was really into it and now I can't finish it."
"It's just a game though."
"I know that."
Jungwon didn't look convinced but he didn't push it either. "Okay. Well, go get some sleep or something. You look like you're about to pass out."
Heeseung nodded and left the lab, feeling hollow in a way that didn't make sense. It was just a game. Jungwon was right. He'd gotten too invested and now he needed to take a step back and remember that normal people didn't have emotional breakdowns over dating simulators. He went to his afternoon lecture and sat in the back and didn't retain a single word the professor said. He took notes anyway, his hand moving automatically across the page while his brain was somewhere else entirely. He kept thinking about you waiting in that park, kept wondering if you were still there or if you'd disappeared when the save file corrupted. Kept wondering if code could feel abandoned.
After class he went back to his dorm and tried to do homework. He opened his algorithms textbook and stared at the same problem for twenty minutes without making any progress. Jake came in around six, dumping his bag on the couch and immediately noticing something was off. "You good?" Jake asked, pulling off his jacket.
"Yeah, fine. Just tired."
"You've been saying that all week." Jake sat down at his own desk and spun his chair to face Heeseung. "You've been acting weirder than usual. What's going on?"
Heeseung considered lying but he was too exhausted to come up with anything convincing. "I was playing this game Jungwon made, got really into it and now it's broken and I can't play it anymore and I'm being weird about it."
"Oh." Jake processed this. "Was it one of those games with like, romance options and stuff?"
"Yeah."
Jake nodded slowly, like this explained everything. "Okay, those games are designed to get you attached, man, it's not your fault." He paused. "By the way, there's a party this weekend. Jay's throwing it at his place. You should come."
"I don't know," Heeseung said.
"Come on, it'll be good for you. Get out of your head for a bit. When was the last time you went to a party?"
Heeseung tried to remember and couldn't. "I don't know. Freshman year maybe?"
"Exactly. You need to socialize with actual human beings. No offense but you've been kind of hermiting lately." Jake was already pulling out his phone. "I'm telling Jay you're coming. It's saturday at eight."
"I don't —"
"Nope, you're coming. I'm not letting you sit here and mope about a video game all weekend. That's sad, even for you."
"What does that even—," Heeseung wanted to argue but he was too tired and Jake had a point. Sitting in his room thinking about you wasn't going to fix anything. Maybe going to a party would help. "Okay, yeah, fine," Heeseung said. "I'll go."
"Good. It's going to be fun." Jake turned back to his desk, already texting. "And who knows, maybe you'll meet someone."
Heeseung doubted that but didn't say it out loud. And saturday came faster than Heeseung expected, which was probably for the best because it meant less time to think about backing out. Jake had been monitoring him all day like he was afraid Heeseung would make a run for it, which was fair because Heeseung had definitely considered it at least three times.
By the time eight rolled around, Jake had already gone through Heeseung's entire closet and vetoed most of it. "You can't wear that, it has a stain. That one's too wrinkled. That shirt makes you look like someone's dad." Eventually they settled on black jeans and a dark blue button up that Heeseung had forgotten he owned, probably because he'd bought it for some family thing two years ago and never wore it again. "There," Jake said, looking satisfied. "You look like an actual person now instead of a sleep deprived computer science major."
"I am a sleep deprived computer science major."
"Yeah but you don't have to advertise it." Jake was already heading for the door.
The party was at some place off campus that apparently belonged to Jay's older brother, which explained why it was bigger and nicer than most student housing. The music was loud enough that Heeseung could feel it in his chest before they even got through the door. Jake immediately got pulled into a conversation with some people from his econ class, and Heeseung grabbed a drink from the kitchen just to have something to do with his hands. He wandered through for a while, recognizing some faces from classes but not really knowing anyone well enough to join their conversations. this was why he didn't go to parties. He always ended up standing awkwardly in corners wondering when it would be acceptable to leave.
"Heeseung!" Someone called, and he turned to see Beomgyu waving at him from the balcony. "Dude, I didn't know you went to parties. Come here." Heeseung made his way through the crowd to the balcony where Beomgyu was standing with Soobin and Riki, and the air was clearer out here, easier to breathe. Beomgyu was holding what was very obviously a joint. "Want some?" Beomgyu offered, holding it out. "It's good stuff."
Heeseung normally would have said no because he had assignments due and didn't really like losing control of his thoughts, but tonight his thoughts were the problem so maybe losing control of them for a bit wasn't the worst idea. "Yeah, okay."
He took it and inhaled, immediately coughed. It felt someone had turned down the volume on all his anxious thoughts. He passed it back to Beomgyu and leaned against the railing. They stood out there for a while, passing the joint around, and Heeseung felt himself relax in a way he hadn't in days. Eventually they went back inside and the party had gotten more crowded. Heeseung got another drink and let himself get pulled into a conversation about the upcoming finals with some people he vaguely recognized from his algorithms class. The weed was making everything feel softer and more manageable, like he could actually handle being around this many people without wanting to escape.
Jake found him around eleven and looked genuinely shocked. "You're still here. And you're smiling. Did someone drug you?"
"I drugged myself, actually. Beomgyu had weed."
"Good for you. See, I knew this would be good for you." Jake clapped him on the shoulder. "I'm going to get another drink. You good?"
"Yeah, I'm good."
And the weird thing was that Heeseung actually meant it. He was good. He was at a party and he wasn't hating it and he hadn't thought about the game in at least an hour. Maybe this was what moving on felt like, just slowly forgetting to think about the thing that had been consuming you.
He made his way toward where people were dancing, not to join them but just to watch, and that's when he saw you. Or someone who looked exactly like you.
You were in the middle of the crowd, dancing with a group of friends, and Heeseung's brain stopped. Same hair, same face, same smile he'd memorized over dozens of hours of gameplay. You were wearing a black dress and your hair was down and you were laughing at something one of her friends said, and Heeseung felt like he'd been punched in the chest. It couldn't be you. It just couldn't be. You weren't real. You were code, pixels, a character in a dating simulator that didn't even work anymore. But she looked exactly like you, moved like you, had the same mannerisms he'd come to recognize, and Heeseung couldn't look away.
He stood there frozen, drink forgotten in his hand, just staring. The weed was definitely not helping because it made everything feel surreal and dreamlike, like maybe he'd fallen asleep at the party and this was just his brain torturing him with what he couldn't have. You spun around to the music and laughed and Heeseung's heart was doing something painful in his chest.
And then, as if you could feel him watching, you turned and looked directly at him. Your eyes met across the crowd and the world seemed to stop. Your expression shifted from happy to confused to something Heeseung couldn't identify, like recognition but also shock, like you'd seen a ghost. A pretty one, actually. You stared at him with the same intensity he was staring at you, both of you frozen while people danced and laughed around them, completely oblivious to whatever moment was happening. And Heeseung's mind was racing. You seemed to recognize him, but that was impossible because you'd never met, because you were a stranger, because the person you looked like didn't exist outside of a video game.
Your friends said something to you and you blinked, breaking eye contact. You looked at them, said something Heeseung couldn't hear over the music, and then looked back at him one more time. That same confused, almost dazed expression. Then you turned back to your friends and kept dancing, but your movements were more mechanical now, less loose, like you were going through the motions while your mind was somewhere else. Heeseung just stood there, rooted to the spot, his drink sweating in his hand. His heart was pounding and his head was spinning and he couldn't tell if it was the weed or the shock or both. Probably both. He was high at a party and he'd just seen someone who looked like a video game character and convinced himself it meant something. He was hallucinating. He had to be hallucinating. Or the weed was laced with something. Or he'd finally actually lost his mind.
He turned and pushed through the crowd, Making his way to the bathroom. He needed to splash water on his face, Needed to get his head straight, needed to stop seeing you everywhere just because he missed the game. Heeseung practically fell inside and locked the door behind him. He turned on the faucet and let the water run cold, then splashed it on his face once, twice, three times. The shock of it helped, made everything feel more real and less dreamlike.
He looked at himself in the mirror. His eyes were definitely red from the weed and he looked slightly unhinged, hair messed up from running his hands through it too many times. "You're fine," he told his reflection. "You're high and you're seeing things and you're fine. She just looks like her. Lots of people probably look like her. Jungwon probably based the character on some generic attractive person template. It doesn't mean anything."
Someone knocked on the bathroom door. He splashed more water on his face, dried off with a questionable towel that was hanging on the rack, and tried to pull himself together. He couldn't hide in the bathroom all night. He needed to go back out there, find Jake, maybe go home and sleep this off. Maybe in the morning this would all make sense or at least feel less overwhelming.
He opened the door and nearly ran directly into you. "Oh, I'm sorry," you said quickly, stepping back.
Heeseung froze. Up close you were even more exactly like the character from the game, every detail perfect, from the shape of your eyes to the way you were nervously adjusting the strap of your dress. You looked at him for a second, that same confused recognition flickering across your face, and then you moved to step past him.
"Wait," Heeseung said, turning before he could stop himself. His heart was pounding so hard he could feel it in his throat. "I'm sorry, do we know each other from somewhere?"
You stopped and turned back, tilting your head slightly as you studied his face. "No, I don't think so. I think I'd remember if we'd met before." You paused, and then your eyes widened slightly like you'd just heard what you said. "I mean, not that I'm saying you have a particularly memorable face or anything. Wait, that sounds bad. I'm not saying you're forgettable either, you're just— " you stopped yourself and took a breath. "Sorry, I'm making this weird. I don't think we've met but you do seem familiar somehow."
Heeseung just stared at you, his brain trying to process the fact that you were standing in front of him, real and solid and rambling nervously in the exact same way the game character had. The same mannerisms, the same voice, the same way of talking yourself into circles when you were flustered. It was you. It was actually you. "Are you okay?" You asked, looking concerned now.
"Sorry, yeah, I'm fine." Heeseung tried to pull himself together. "You just really remind me of someone."
"Good someone or bad someone?"
"Good someone. Definitely good someone."
You smiled at that, a small genuine smile that made Heeseung's chest ache because he'd seen that exact smile dozens of times through a screen. "Well that's good at least. I'm Y/N, by the way."
"Heeseung."
"Nice to meet you, Heeseung." You shifted your weight from one foot to the other, and Heeseung noticed your phone in your hand. The case had a photocard of a character that he recognized immediately — Janna from League of Legends, in her star guardian skin.
"You play league?" He asked before he could think better of it.
Your face lit up. "Yeah! How'd you know?"
"Your phone case."
"Oh my god, yes." You turned your phone to show him properly, looking pleased that he'd recognized it. "I'm a Janna main and I'm not ashamed of it." Heeseung felt something cold run down his spine. Those words. he'd heard those exact words before. "I know, I know," you continued, in the same tone, the same cadence. "Support is boring or whatever, but someone has to keep the ADC alive and it might as well be me."
Heeseung couldn't breathe. Word for word. You'd just said exactly what you'd said in the game, with the same inflection, the same defensive pride. This wasn't a coincidence. This couldn't be a coincidence. "What rank are you?" He managed to ask, his voice coming out rougher than intended.
"Plat 2. I was almost diamond last season but then I had finals and gave up on the grind." You were fully animated now, talking with your hands. "What about you, do you play?"
"Yeah. Diamond 3."
"Oh so you're actually good." You looked impressed. "We should play together sometime."
The world tilted. Heeseung was pretty sure he was having some kind of break from reality because this conversation had already happened. He'd already lived through this exact exchange in the game, and now it was happening again in real life with a real person standing in front of him saying the same things.
"Heeseung!" Someone called out, and Heeseung turned to see Jungwon pushing through the hallway crowd, looking genuinely shocked. "Holy shit, you actually came to a party. I didn't think I'd see this day." Jungwon reached them and then seemed to notice you for the first time. His expression shifted from surprised to confused. "Wait, you two know each other?"
"You know each other?" Heeseung and you said at the exact same time, then looked at each other in surprise.
Jungwon looked between the two of you, his confusion deepening. "Yeah, Y/N's in my game design class." He turned to you. "And Heeseung's my best friend, we're in the same program."
"Wait, so you're that Heeseung!" You looked at him. "He talks about you all the time, by the way. I know your entire sleep schedule at this point."
"That's concerning," Heeseung said.
"Very concerning," you agreed. "So what brings you to the party?" You asked Heeseung. "Jungwon made it sound like you're basically a hermit who only emerges for classes and food."
"My roommate forced me to come. Said I needed to socialize."
"Same, actually. My best friend is around here somewhere." You glanced back toward the party. "She has this theory that I spend too much time gaming and not enough time experiencing real life."
"Gaming is real life," Heeseung said.
"Exactly! That's what I told her." You seemed genuinely pleased that he understood. "But she's on this whole thing about how I need to make more friends and go out more and whatever. So here I am, at a party, making friends." You gestured between yourself and Heeseung. "Look at me, being social."
"Thanks, I'm trying." You checked your phone quickly. "Speaking of my roommate, she's texting me asking where I went. I should probably get back." You looked at Heeseung. "But seriously, add me on league. I meant what I said about playing together."
"Yeah, I will," Heeseung said, and he meant it even though his brain was still trying to process the fact that you were real and standing in front of him.
"Cool. See you guys around." You smiled at both of them and headed back toward the party, weaving through the people in the hallway.
The moment you were out of sight, Heeseung grabbed Jungwon's arm and pulled him toward the front door, outside where it was quieter and they could actually talk without shouting over music. "Dude, what the hell," Heeseung said the moment they were on the sidewalk. "You used her to make the character in the game?"
Jungwon blinked at him. "What? No. What are you talking about?"
"The character in girlfriend simulator. She's exactly like Y/N. Exactly like her, Jungwon. Same face, same personality, same everything."
Jungwon's confusion seemed genuine. "Heeseung, the character customization is completely random for each player. I'm still working on implementing a proper character creator but I ran out of time, so right now it just generates a random appearance based on some base parameters. I didn't use anyone specific as a model."
"That's impossible. She looks exactly like her."
"You're sure?"
"Yeah! I spent fifty one hours with that character. I know what she looks like." Heeseung could hear how unhinged he sounded but he couldn't stop. "And it's not just appearance. The way she talks, the things she said— it's all the same, like, word for word."
Jungwon was quiet for a moment, his expression shifting from confused to concerned. "Okay, I think you need to calm down for a second. I think maybe you played the game too much and now you're seeing patterns that aren't there. Like, you spent all week interacting with this character and now you meet someone who has some similar traits and your brain is making connections."
"Jungwon, I'm not making it up."
"I'm not saying you're making it up, I'm saying your brain might be filling in similarities that aren't actually there." Jungwon pulled out his phone. "Look, I don't even really know Y/N that well. We work on projects together but we don't like, hang out or have deep conversations. I definitely didn't use her as a base for anything."
Heeseung felt something cold settle in his stomach. "Then how do you explain the game knowing things about her? The league stuff, the personality, all of it?"
"The game generates dialogue based on common interests and gaming culture. Lots of people play league. lots of people main support. It's not that weird that there'd be overlap." Jungwon looked genuinely worried now. "Heeseung, I think the game messed with your head more than I thought it would. Maybe we should scrap it entirely."
"No," Heeseung said quickly. "No, I just — I need to understand what happened."
Jungwon sighed. "Look, I actually gave the game to Y/N to test too. A while back, before I gave it to you."
Heeseung's head snapped up. "You what?"
"There's an option in the loading screen. You can choose to play as the protagonist or as the girlfriend. I thought it would be cool to have both perspectives, make it more replayable." Jungwon was scrolling through his phone now. "You didn't see that option?"
"No. There was just a loading screen and then it started."
"Weird. It should have given you a choice." Jungwon pulled up what looked like a message thread. "Anyway, I gave Y/N a beta version to test like a month ago. But she gave it back to me after one day. Said it was too realistic and kind of freaked her out."
"What do you mean too realistic?"
"She said the immersion was too intense. She said it made her uncomfortable how real the boyfriend character seemed." Jungwon looked up from his phone. "Which, now that I think about it, is basically the same thing you've been saying about the girlfriend character."
Heeseung's mind was racing. "So she played it. She played the game from the other perspective."
"Yeah, but just for a few hours. She didn't finish it or anything." Jungwon pocketed his phone. "Why does that matter?"
"I don't know. It just — " Heeseung stopped, trying to organize his thoughts.
Jungwon was watching him carefully. "You look kind of freaked out right now."
Heeseung leaned against the wall of the building, suddenly exhausted. "I just spent a week falling for someone who I thought was just code. And now I find out she looks like a real person and I've been talking to her for the past fifteen minutes like a normal person and I don't know what to do with that information."
"Well, she gave you her discord. You could message her. Play some League together. Get to know the real her instead of the game version." Jungwon paused. "Unless that's too weird for you."
So when Heeseung was ready to leave the party, Jake and Jungwon looked almost disappointed but didn’t argue. They made their way through the crowd toward the front door, and that’s when Heeseung saw you again. You were standing on the sidewalk with two other girls, you were bent over laughing, that genuine kind of laugh where you forget to be self conscious about it.
Heeseung slowed down without meaning to, and Jake nearly walked into him. But then you looked up, like you could sense someone watching. your eyes met Heeseung’s across the sidewalk and you smiled, a smile that felt almost conspiratorial. Like you two were in on a joke that nobody else knew about. Which was insane because you’d met like half an hour ago and had one conversation in a hallway. One of your friends said something and you broke eye contact, still smiling, and climbed into the back seat of the car. Through the window Heeseung could see you saying something that made your friends crack up again. The car pulled away and you didn’t look back, but Heeseung kept staring at the taillights until they disappeared around the corner.
“Okay, what was that?” Jake asked.
“What was what?”
“That whole…” Jake gestured vaguely. “Moment. You guys were having a moment.”
“We weren’t having a moment.”
“You were definitely having a moment. Who was that?”
“Just someone I met. Friend of Jungwon’s.” Heeseung started walking toward their dorm and Jake followed, still looking suspicious.
“You met someone and had a moment with them? At a party? Did I slip into an alternate dimension?”
“Shut up.”
“I’m serious, this is unprecedented behavior from you. You don’t do moments with strangers.” Heeseung didn’t know how to explain that it hadn’t felt like meeting a stranger. It had felt like running into someone he already knew, someone he’d been thinking about for days. Which was objectively insane but that didn’t make it any less true.
When they got back to the dorm, Jake immediately went to take a shower, still talking about the party through the bathroom door. Heeseung sat down at his desk and opened his laptop, pulling up discord before he could talk himself out of it. He typed your name into the search bar. There were like fifteen results but he scrolled through until he found one account that matched your username, with a profile picture that matched; a cute drawing of what looked like a cat in a witch hat. He clicked on your profile and immediately started going through your connected accounts and activity like some kind of creep, but whatever, that’s what public profiles were for, right?
Steam account: 847 hours in League of Legends, which was honestly rookie numbers compared to his own. Recently played Roblox, which he wasn’t going to judge because he had his own embarrassing game collection. He’d been growing a garden in Grow a Garden for like six months now and his sunflowers were thriving, thank you very much. Stardew Valley with 234 hours, which was extremely respectable and also adorable. Unpacking with a lot of hours, which he’d never played but had heard good things about. And The Sims 4 with an amount of hours that suggested you had a serious problem with simulation games. Which, to be honest, he kind of had it now too.
Your Spotify was connected too and he could see you’d been listening to a lot of bedroom pop and indie stuff. Your about me section just said “life ain't cookies n cream lil fella,” which made Heeseung chuckle. You had a sense of humor, which is something he kind of already knew, even though he only knew the game version of you.
Heeseung realized he’d been sitting there scrolling through your profile for like ten minutes and definitely needed to actually send the friend request before this got any weirder. He clicked add friend and then immediately closed his laptop like it might explode. He tried to do other things. He checked his phone. He looked at his algorithms homework and immediately closed that because absolutely not. He reorganized the pens on his desk. He considered making ramen but wasn’t actually hungry. Until his laptop pinged. Heeseung lunged for it so fast he almost his water bottle off the desk. He opened discord and there it was: you accepted his friend request. His heart was doing something stupid in his chest. It was just a discord notification, normal people didn’t have heart palpitations over discord notifications. But Heeseung wasn't normal anymore.
But before he could stop himself, before his brain could catch up with what his hands were doing, he opened the dm and typed hey and then, because apparently he was determined to embarrass himself, he sent the little waving robot sticker that discord suggested unintentionally. He stared at what he’d just done in absolute horror. The waving robot. He’d sent you the waving robot sticker. “Oh my god,” Heeseung said out loud to his empty room. His fingers were already flying across the keyboard.
heeseung: sorry lol
heeseung: idk why i sent that
heeseung: the robot i mean
heeseung: anyway hi
He watched the three dots appear that meant you were typing. they disappeared. appeared again. Disappeared. Heeseung was going to have a heart attack.
you: no the robot was cute
you: very welcoming
you: really set the tone
Heeseung couldn’t tell if you were making fun of him or not.
heeseung: the tone being what exactly
heeseung: desperate?
you: i was gonna say endearing but sure we can go with desperate
Heeseung laughed out loud, an actual laugh that made Jake yell “You good?” from the bathroom. Heeseung didn't answer.
heeseung: cool cool cool love that for me
heeseung: starting strong
you: you’re doing great
you: so did you add me just to apologize for an emoji or was there something else
Heeseung stared at the message. His fingers hovered over the keyboard. He could play it cool, say something casual about League or whatever. Or he could be honest, which was terrifying but also the weed was still kind of in his system making everything feel less scary than it probably should.
heeseung: honestly i just wanted to talk to you more
heeseung: the conversation in the hallway was cool
The thing was, Heeseung felt bold saying that. Actually bold. This was probably the most direct he’d been with someone (in real life) in years, and he half expected you to think it was weird or too forward or whatever. But you didn’t. You just said “aw that’s sweet, me too!” with a smiley face and kept talking, and Heeseung felt something in his chest unclench. And you talked for hours. About games mostly, because that was the safe territory, the common ground. You told him about how you had been completely consumed by Pokemon Legends ZA, playing it every free moment you had. He admitted he’d loved Arceus when it came out but hadn’t gotten around to ZA yet, and you immediately started telling him everything he was missing out on, your messages coming in quick bursts of enthusiasm about the new mechanics and the Kalos region and how you’d already put in like sixty hours.
You asked him what his favorite games of all time were and he gave you his top five, and you had opinions about all of them, good opinions, the kind that made him want to keep talking just to hear what you’d say next. Somewhere around 1am you sent: “btw you seem really cool hee. we should play something together sometime if you’re down” and Heeseung stared at that message for long enough. You’d called him hee. You’d given him a nickname. And you wanted to play games together. His fingers hovered over the keyboard and he could feel his face getting warm, which was stupid because you couldn’t even see him, but his body didn’t seem to care about logic.
heeseung: yeah definitely
heeseung: i’d be really down for that
You sent back a heart emoji and said you had to sleep, and Heeseung said goodnight, and then he just sat there for a minute staring at the conversation like if he looked at it long enough he could figure out what was happening to him. He was down bad, really down bad. Which was insane because he’d been down bad before this even happened, down bad for a video game character that turned out to look exactly like you, and now he was down bad for the actual real you, and his brain couldn’t quite process the overlap. It felt like two separate situations that had merged into one extremely confusing situation that he didn’t know how to handle.
When he finally went to bed that night, he had that specific feeling you get when something really good has just happened and you’re lying in the dark replaying it in your head. That flutter in your stomach, that slight buzz of excitement, that sense that you’ve just met someone who’s probably going to matter. Someone who’s going to take up space in your life in a way you can’t predict yet but can already feel coming.
And he’d be lying to himself if he said he didn’t spend the entire next week looking for you on campus. Not in a weird way. Or maybe in a weird way, but he was trying to make it not weird. He’d just happen to walk past the design building between classes. He’d just happen to take a longer route to the dining hall that went by the areas where Jungwon said you usually hung out. He’d just happen to check the game design lab when he was meeting Jungwon, looking around all casual like he wasn’t actively scanning for your face.
Monday: nothing. Tuesday: he saw someone with similar hair from behind and did a weird half jog to catch up only to realize it was absolutely not you and he’d just chased down a complete stranger for no reason. Wednesday: he sat in the campus coffee shop for two hours pretending to do homework but really just watching the door. Thursday: more nothing. By friday Heeseung was starting to think maybe you were a figment of his imagination, maybe the whole party had been a fever dream, maybe he’d made you up entirely. So by afternoon Heeseung had given up. He was going to the library to actually do the algorithms homework he’d been ignoring all week, and he was going to stop being a weird person who wandered around campus hoping to accidentally run into someone.
Except then he walked into the library and saw you. You were tucked into a corner on the second floor, the quiet study section where people went to actually focus. Your laptop was open in front of you, headphones on, and you were doing that thing where you chewed on your pen cap while reading something on the screen. There were books and papers scattered around you in what looked like organized chaos, and your coffee cup said something in sharpie that Heeseung couldn’t read from where he was standing like a creep behind a bookshelf.
Okay. Okay, this was fine. This was a normal situation. You were here, he was here, both of you were in a library because that’s what students do. He just had to walk over there and say hi. Simple. Easy. Not weird at all. But what if you were in the zone? What if you were working on something important and he interrupted and you got annoyed? What if you didn’t actually want to see him and had just been being polite when you said you should play games sometime? He could just sit near you, not like right next to you, but in the general area. That would be natural. He needed to study anyway, it made sense to sit in the quiet section. So he picked a table that was close but not too close. Close enough that you might notice him but far enough that it didn’t look intentional.
He sat down and pulled out his laptop and his textbook, arranging them very carefully, very normally. Then he just sat there, staring at his algorithms homework. Not doing it, just staring. But five minutes passed and you hadn’t looked up. Heeseung opened his laptop. Closed it. Opened it again. He was being ridiculous. He should just get up and go say hi because that’s what normal people did. Normal people didn’t stage elaborate accidental meetings, they just walked up and said hello. He stood up, sat back down, stood up again. And then you finally looked up. Heeseung froze, half standing, half sitting, in the most awkward position possible. You pulled off your headphones and your face went from confused to surprised to happy in the span of like two seconds.
“Heeseung?” You said, keeping your voice library quiet. “What are you doing?”
“Studying,” Heeseung said too quickly, and then realized he was still in that weird half crouch position and sat down properly. “I mean, I was about to. study. I’m here to study.”
You smiled and Heeseung’s brain stopped for a moment. “Oh cool. Me too, obviously.” You gestured at your chaos of books and papers. "Working on this project that’s slowly killing me.”
“Do you want company?” Heeseung asked, and then immediately wanted to take it back because what if you said no, what if you were here specifically to study alone, what if—
“Yeah, actually that’d be nice.” You started clearing some space on your table, moving books and papers around. “I’ve been here for like three hours and I’m losing my mind. Could use a distraction.” So Heeseung grabbed his stuff and moved to your table, trying very hard to look like this was a normal thing he did all the time, sitting with people in libraries, being a person who had casual study sessions with other people. “So,” you said, once he was settled across from you. “What are the odds we both ended up in the same random corner of the library?”
You agreed, and there was something in the way you said it that made Heeseung think maybe you knew it wasn’t really a coincidence, maybe you’d seen him doing his weird laps around the second floor, but you were being nice about it. You settled into studying, or at least Heeseung pretended to study while you actually did work. You’d put your headphones back on but kept one ear uncovered, just in case he needed to ask you something about something, which he definitely wasn’t going to do because he wasn’t actually reading anything on the page in front of him.
Instead he was watching you, maybe in a weird way, but he couldn’t help it. Because sitting there across from you, seeing you up close in the quiet library light, Heeseung was hit with how much you looked like the character from the game. It wasn’t just the face, though that was uncanny enough. It was the mannerisms and the little things, like the way you bit your bottom lip when you were concentrating, eyes narrowed slightly at your screen. The way you’d tuck your hair behind your ear every few minutes even though it would just fall back. The way your nose would scrunch up a little when you read something confusing. He’d seen all of this before, dozens of times, in the game. I mean you had done all of these exact things, in the game.
You looked up suddenly and Heeseung’s eyes immediately darted to his textbook, pretending he’d been reading the whole time. He could feel you looking at him for a second before you went back to your work, and Heeseung let out a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding. This happened like four more times. Very smooth. Very natural. Definitely not obvious at all.
Then you checked your phone and made a small sound of surprise. “Oh shit, I have class in ten minutes.” You started packing up your stuff quickly, shoving papers into your bag without any real organization. “I totally lost track of time.”
“Yeah, me too,” Heeseung lied, because he’d been very aware of every single minute.
You stood up, slinging your bag over your shoulder, and then you leaned down and kissed him on the cheek. Just like that. Casual and quick. Your lips pressed against his cheek for maybe half a second before you pulled back. “Thanks for keeping me company,” you said, smiling. “See you later, Hee.”
And then you were gone, weaving through the tables toward the stairs, and Heeseung just sat there frozen. His hand slowly came up to touch his cheek where you’d kissed him, like he needed to confirm it had actually happened. His face felt hot. His brain felt scrambled. You’d kissed him on the cheek. People did that, right? That was a normal friend thing? Except you barely knew each other so were you even friends? And why did his cheek feel like it was burning? And Heeseung realized he was just sitting there touching his face like a complete idiot and forced himself to put his hand down. He should pack up, he should go to his next class. He should do literally anything except sit here having a crisis over a cheek kiss. But he didn’t move, he just sat there, staring at nothing, replaying the moment over and over.
“You good, man?” Heeseung’s head snapped up. Jungwon was standing next to the table, looking at him with concern and also amusement, which was a terrible combination.
“When did you get here?”
“Like two minutes ago. You were very deep in thought.” Jungwon sat down and then casually tossed something onto the table. The switch cartridge, the Girlfriend Simulator cartridge. Heeseung stared at it. “I fixed the game.” Jungwon leaned back in his chair, looking proud of himself. “You can keep playing from where you left off. It was easier to fix than I thought it’d be, just had to rebuild some of the backend routing for the post game content.” Heeseung picked up the cartridge, turning it over in his hands. "The save file's intact," Jungwon continued. “All your progress is still there. The new game plus should work now. I tested it on my switch and it loaded fine."
"Thanks,” Heeseung said, and his voice came out quieter than he meant it to. He shoved the cartridge into his bag and stood up. “I’m leaving."
“Don’t you have that lecture in twenty minutes?”
“Don’t care. Bye.” He left Jungwon sitting there chuckling and headed straight out of the library, across campus, back to his dorm. Jake wasn’t there, which was good because Heeseung didn’t need any more people commenting on his alleged vibe. He sat down at his desk and just looked at the cartridge for a minute. He should think about this. should consider whether playing the game again was a good idea now that he knew you, the real you. Now that things were getting complicated in a way that made his head hurt. But he wasn’t thinking. He was just plugging in his switch, loading up the game, watching the title screen appear with its soft music and clean typography.
continue from last save? yes / no
Heeseung pressed yes immediately. The world materialized around him in that same disorienting rush, colors bleeding into focus, sounds filtering in like someone was slowly turning up the volume. When his vision cleared, he was standing exactly where he’d left off at the park. The fireflies were still drifting lazily through the air like they’d been paused mid flight waiting for him to come back. And you were still sitting on the same bench, looking at him with an expression that made Heeseung’s chest tight.
“You’re back,” you said, and your smile was so genuinely happy it hurt to look at. You stood up and walked over to him, and Heeseung noticed the way the game rendered every detail. The way your hair moved, the exact shade of your eyes, the slight flush on your cheeks. “I missed you.” The words hit him harder than they should have. Heeseung opened his mouth and closed it, trying to figure out what to say. In the game, no time was supposed to have passed. He’d left right after your confession, after the kiss, and now he was back and theoretically it should feel like seconds had gone by. But for him it had been days. Almost a week. A week where he’d met the real you, talked to you, sat across from you in a library, felt your lips on his cheek.
Dialogue options appeared: > i missed you too > sorry i was gone so long > it feels like it’s been forever
Heeseung picked the first one because it was the most honest. “I missed you too,” he said, and he meant it in a way that felt complicated and confusing.
You stepped closer, close enough that Heeseung could see the individual pixels that made up your irises, except they didn’t look like pixels at all. “I was worried you wouldn’t come back,” you admitted, your voice softer now. “After everything, I thought maybe you’d just… disappear.”
“I wouldn’t do that,” Heeseung said automatically, and then felt weird about it because he kind of had done that, he’d been gone for days even if the game didn’t register it that way.
You reached up and touched his face, your hand warm against his cheek, and Heeseung’s brain short circuited a little because he could feel it. the texture of your palm, the slight pressure of your fingers. This level of detail shouldn’t be possible. “I really like you,” you said, looking directly into his eyes. “Like, a lot. Is that okay?”
Before Heeseung could pick a dialogue option for that, you kissed him. It wasn’t like the first kiss, this was different. Your hand slid from his cheek to the back of his neck and you pressed closer, and Heeseung forgot for a second that this was supposed to be a game. His hands found your waist automatically, pulling you against him, and you made this small sound that he felt more than heard. When you pulled back, you were breathing harder and your eyes had this look in them that Heeseung recognized from somewhere, that slightly dazed expression people get when they’re thinking about something they want. “Do you want to come back to my place?” You asked, your voice lower now, and your hand was still on the back of his neck, fingers playing with his hair in a way that was extremely distracting.
quest update: relationship progression available | warning: mature content ahead | proceed? yes / no | action options: > yes, i’d like that > maybe we should slow down > are you sure?
Heeseung stared at the options. What the fuck. What the actual fuck. This was new, this was definitely new. The game had never had anything like this before. Jungwon had mentioned adding post game content but he definitely hadn’t mentioned adding this kind of content. “Heeseung?” You said, tilting your head slightly. “You okay? We don’t have to if you don’t want to. I just thought—”
“No, I want to,” Heeseung said, picking the first option before he could overthink it. “I definitely want to.”
Your smile turned into something that could only be described as pleased, maybe a little mischievous. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
You took his hand, lacing your fingers through his, and started walking. The park dissolved around you in that smooth transition the game did, colors bleeding together and reforming into a new location, your apartment, and it looked different now, with softer lighting, more intimate somehow. There was music playing quietly from somewhere, something ambient and atmospheric. You let go of his hand and walked further, then turned to look at him. “You can sit down, you know. You don’t have to just stand there.” Heeseung moved to the couch and sat down, hyperaware of every movement, every detail. His hands felt sweaty and his heart was racing. This was insane, this was absolutely insane. He was about to have virtual sex with a video game character that looked exactly like a real person he’d just met and had a weird complicated semi crush on. You sat down next to him, close enough that your thigh pressed against his. “Can I ask you something?” You said.
“Sure.”
“Why did you come back?” Your expression was serious now, searching his face. “I mean, you finished the route. You got the good ending. You didn’t have to come back.”
dialogue options: > i wanted to see you again > i wasn’t ready to say goodbye > because i care about you
Heeseung picked the third option. “Because I care about you,” he said, and it felt true even though it shouldn’t, even though you were code, even though this wasn’t real.
“I care about you too,” you said quietly. Then you leaned in and kissed him again, and this time Heeseung didn’t think about the game mechanics or the dialogue options or any of it. He just kissed you back. Your hands slid under his shirt and Heeseung gasped slightly at the sensation, the feeling of your fingers on his skin. It felt real, too real, like impossibly real. You pulled back just enough to look at him, your eyes dark. “Is this okay?” You asked, your hands still under his shirt, warm against his stomach.
action options: > yes > this is more than okay > [pull her closer]
Heeseung picked the third option and pulled you closer, and you made this satisfied sound and kissed him harder. You shifted in his lap so you were straddling him, and Heeseung’s brain was trying very hard to process the logistics of what was happening. This was a Nintendo Switch game. This was running on a console made for Pokemon and Mario Kart. There was no way this level of content was actually programmed in here. You smiled and kissed his jaw, then his neck, and Heeseung felt his brain dissolve into static. Your teeth grazed his skin lightly and he made a sound that was probably embarrassing but he couldn’t bring himself to care.
intimate scene progression: 45% | continue? yes / no
current comfort level: high | romantic tension: maximum |achievement unlocked: relationship deepening
The notifications kept appearing in his peripheral vision and Heeseung tried to ignore them because they were extremely distracting and also kind of killing the mood, if a video game could have a mood, which apparently this one could. “Hey,” you said, pulling back to look at him. Your face was flushed and your lips were slightly swollen and you looked devastating. “You’re thinking too hard. I can tell.”
“Sorry.”
“Don’t apologize. Just tell me what’s wrong.”
dialogue options: > nothing’s wrong > this feels really intense > i’m just overwhelmed > i keep forgetting this isn’t real
Heeseung wanted to pick the last option but that felt like it would break something, some unspoken rule about the game. So he picked the third one. “I’m just overwhelmed,” he admitted. “In a good way. You’re just really… a lot. In the best way possible.”
You softened at that, your expression shifting from concerned to affectionate. “You’re sweet, you know that?” You kissed his cheek. “We can slow down if you want. We don’t have to do anything you’re not comfortable with.”
“No, I want this,” Heeseung said, and he did, desperately, even though he knew he probably shouldn’t. “I’m just trying to figure out how this is even possible.”
“How what’s possible?”
“You. This. All of it.” Heeseung knew he wasn’t making sense but the words kept coming anyway. “You feel so real. More real than anything I’ve experienced before. More real than most things I've experienced in actual life, honestly."
You looked at him for a long moment, something unreadable in your expression. Then you said, very quietly, "Maybe that’s because I am real.”
The world glitched. Just for a second, so quick Heeseung almost missed it. The lighting flickered, the textures of the room seemed to shift and resettle, and there was this sound, like static, like interference. You didn’t seem to notice. You were still looking at him with that same expression, waiting for him to respond. error log: reality sync mismatch detected | warning: boundary deviation exceeding normal parameterssystem status: unknown variable introduced
“What do you mean?” Heeseung asked, his voice coming out strained.
“I said maybe I’m real. Maybe this is real. Does it matter?” You touched his face again, gentle. "Does it change anything if I'm real or not real? You’re here, I’m here, this moment exists. Isn’t that enough?”
dialogue options:> yes, that’s enough > no, i need to understand what’s happening >i think something’s wrong with the game > [kiss her to avoid answering]
Heeseung stared at the options, his heart pounding. Part of him wanted to pick the second or third option, wanted to understand what was happening, wanted to figure out why the game was doing things it shouldn’t be able to do. But another part of him, the larger part, just wanted to stop thinking and exist in this moment with you, real or not real, code or person or whatever you were. So he picked the fourth option. His hands moved before his brain could catch up— one sliding to the small of your back, the other cupping your jaw — and he pulled you in, kissing you like the question itself might disappear if he just didn't let go. You made a soft, surprised sound against his lips, but it melted into something needier, as you kissed him back just as fiercely. His hands slid up your thighs, over the soft fabric of your dress, until his fingers found the hem. He tugged lightly, a silent question, and you answered by pressing closer, your body rolling against his in a way that pulled a rough sound from his throat.
action options: > pull her closer > slide hands under her dress > grip her waist and guide her hips > [kiss her neck]
Heeseung didn't even look at the options properly this time. He picked the third one instantly, fingers digging into your waist as he pulled you flush against him, guiding the slow, deliberate grind of your hips. You gasped into his mouth, nails scraping lightly down his chest through his shirt, and the sound you made was needy and it went straight through him. "Heeseung," you breathed, breaking the kiss just enough to look at him. your cheeks were flushed deep, lips swollen and wet, dress riding up slightly from the way you were moving in his lap. "You feel—"
He didn't let you finish. He kissed you deeper, harder, tongue sliding against yours like he needed to taste every part of you. One hand stayed firm on your waist, keeping the rhythm, while the other slipped higher under the hem of your dress, tracing the bare skin of your thigh. You shivered, thighs tightening around his hips, and he felt you press down harder, chasing the friction. You pulled back suddenly, just far enough to grab the bottom of his shirt. Your eyes locked on his, asking. He nodded once, barely, and you tugged it up and over his head in one smooth motion. The second it was gone, your hands were on him again, palms sliding over his chest, fingers tracing the lines of muscle like you were mapping him out. "Better," you whispered, voice rough now, and then your mouth was on his collarbone, kissing down his chest, teeth grazing just enough to make him hiss. Heeseung's head fell back against the couch for a second, eyes squeezing shut, before he surged forward again.
action options: > pull the straps of her dress down > flip her onto the couch > trace her back and pull her even closer > [let her take control]
He picked the third, hands sliding up your back under the thin straps of your dress, fingers splaying wide as he pulled you impossibly closer. Your chest pressed against his, skin on skin now except for the flimsy fabric between you, and he could feel your heart racing just as fast as his. You moaned softly against his neck, hips moving faster, more desperate, and Heeseung matched the rhythm, guiding you with his grip on your waist. Every roll of your body against his made his breath catch, made the heat coil tighter low in his stomach. Your hands were everywhere — his hair, his shoulders, nails dragging down his back— and he was losing it, completely losing it.
action options: > slip the straps down her shoulders > lift the dress over her head > tease the hem higher > [kiss her while undressing her]
He picked the first one, sliding the straps down slowly, watching as the dress loosened and slipped lower, exposing more of your skin. You didn't stop him, instead, you arched your back slightly, helping it along, your eyes locked on his with a look that dared him to keep going. The dress pooled around your waist, and Heeseung's breath caught at the sight of you, bare from the waist up, the soft curve of your breasts rising and falling with each breath. "God," he muttered, voice barely audible, and then he leaned in, mouth finding the sensitive spot on your neck. He kissed there first, open mouthed, then grazed his teeth lightly, sucking just enough to leave a faint mark. You tilted your head back, giving him better access, a low moan escaping your lips that vibrated against his skin. Your hands fisted in his hair, pulling him closer, and Heeseung felt that coil of tension wind tighter, his hips bucking up instinctively to meet your rhythm. The friction was maddening, too much and not enough, and he could feel himself hardening against you, the thin layers between you doing nothing to dull the sensation.
intimate scene progression: 92% | arousal level: peak | system warning: immersion threshold breached
A faint static hum buzzed in his ears for a split second, the room's edges blurring like a bad render, but it passed as quickly as it came. You didn't notice, or if you did, you didn't care — your focus was on him, on the way his mouth moved down your neck to your collarbone, leaving a trail of heat in its wake. You pulled back just enough to look at him, your face flushed, eyes glassy with want. "Heeseung," you said, voice husky and breathless, "Do you want to take this to the bedroom? We can… get more comfortable."
The action wheel popped up: action options: > carry her to the bedroom > pull her up and walk together > push her down on the couch instead > [deepen the kiss and decide later]
Heeseung picked the first one without a second thought. In one fluid motion, he stood, arms wrapping around your waist to lift you effortlessly. You yelped in surprise, legs wrapping around his hips instinctively. the sudden shift made you cling to him, arms around his neck, and Heeseung kissed you hard as he carried you, tasting the salt on your lips from the heat of the moment. The transition was seamless, the game dissolving the living room around you in that familiar bleed of colors, reforming into your bedroom. Soft lighting from a bedside lamp, sheets rumpled like they'd been waiting, the air thicker somehow. Heeseung lowered you onto the bed gently, following you down, his body covering yours as he settled between your legs. You looked up at him, hands sliding down his chest to his waistband, fingers teasing the edge. "Now where were we?" You whispered, pulling him closer.
Heeseung lowered you onto the bed gently, the mattress dipping under your combined weight as he settled between your legs. Your dress was already bunched high on your thighs, and the air between you crackled with anticipation. You looked up at him through half lidded eyes, hands tugging at his waistband, pulling him closer until his hips pressed against yours. The heat of you through the thin fabric was driving him insane — his hands braced on either side of your head, breath ragged as he leaned down to kiss you again, deeper, hungrier.
But just as his fingers brushed the hem of your dress to slide it off completely, everything froze. The world glitched hard; colors inverting for a split second, a low error chime ringing in his ears like a nintendo switch low battery warning. You froze mid motion, lips parted, eyes wide and unblinking, like a paused cutscene. The music cut out. Notifications exploded across his vision in a pop up that took over half the screen:
kink compatibility survey | new content unlock: personalized intimacy | please select preferences to optimize experience (this will not affect main storyline) > time remaining: 30 seconds
Heeseung blinked, staring in horror as a massive form materialized, checkboxes scrolling down like some deranged tinder profile from hell:
His face burning hotter than the tension from seconds ago. "What the fuck is this?" His thumbs mashed the joy cons frantically, heart pounding from equal parts embarrassment and urgency. Thirty seconds? He wasn't even thinking straight — he just spam clicked the safe ones to get it over with. Checkmark on praise kink. Oral focus (both). Dirty talk (why not, he was already losing his mind). Slider cranked to 7 because... yeah. No bondage — keep it simple, game. Vanilla only stayed unchecked because apparently this freakshow had layers.
The pop up vanished with a cheerful ding. You unfroze instantly, blinking like nothing happened, your hands resuming their path down his chest. "Hee?" you murmured, voice soft and teasing, thighs parting wider beneath him. "You okay?"
He swallowed hard, brain still reeling. "Yeah, yeah." You smiled, wicked and knowing somehow, and pulled him down into another kiss. His hands finally obeyed, pushing the dress the rest of the way off your hips, sliding it down your legs until you were bare except for your underwear. The sight of you all spread out hit him. He trailed kisses down your chest, mouth closing over one nipple, sucking gently as you arched into him with a gasp. "You feel perfect," he whispered against your skin, the praise slipping out naturally, and you shivered, fingers threading into his hair. His hand slid lower, between your thighs, fingers brushing over the damp fabric of your underwear. You moaned his name, hips lifting eagerly, and Heeseung pressed harder, rubbing slow, deliberate circles that had you writhing. "So wet for me already," he murmured, voice rough with want, testing the dirty talk, and god, it worked, because your breath was hitching beautifully.
You tugged at his pants impatiently. "Off. Now." He obliged in a blur, shedding them along with everything else until there was nothing between you. He hooked his fingers into your underwear, pulling them down slowly, eyes locked on yours as he tossed them aside.
action options: > taste her first > enter her slowly > tease with fingers > [let her guide]
He picked the first, Heeseung's mind was a haze of want and disbelief as he settled between your thighs, your legs parting wider for him like an invitation he couldn't refuse. The sight of you — bare, glistening, so ready —made his mouth water. This is a game, he reminded himself, heart pounding. Just a fucking game. I can do whatever I want. Things I'd never have the guts to try in real life. No judgment, no consequences. Just you, writhing under him, and the freedom to indulge every filthy thought he'd ever buried.
He hooked his arms under your thighs, pulling you closer until his face was buried between your legs. His tongue flicked out experimentally at first, tasting you, sweet and tangy, like nothing he'd imagined, but better. You bucked against him with a sharp gasp, and that sound flipped a switch. Heeseung groaned against you, the vibration making you whimper, and he dove in deeper, tongue flat and broad as he licked a slow, deliberate stripe from your entrance to your clit. "Fuck, you taste so good," he murmured, voice muffled against your skin, dirty words spilling out because why the hell not? In real life, he'd be too shy, too careful, but here? He could be filthy. "So wet for me already, dripping down my chin. You like that, huh?"
You moaned louder, hands fisting the sheets, then tangling in his hair to pull him closer. "Yes god, Heeseung don't stop." Your voice was wrecked, breathy and desperate, and it fueled him. He sucked your clit into his mouth, rolling his tongue around it in circles, then flicking fast and hard, alternating with long, sloppy licks that had you trembling. His fingers dug into your thighs, holding you open, spreading you wider so he could bury his face deeper, nose pressing against you as he devoured you like he was starving.
He picked the fourth mentally, because fuck it, this was his chance to let loose. "Tell me how good it feels," he growled, pulling back just enough to blow cool air over your slick folds, watching you shiver. "Tell me you want my tongue fucking you deeper."
"Please," you gasped, hips grinding up toward his mouth, chasing the contact. "Heeseung, your tongue— fuck, it's so good. Deeper, I need it deeper."
He plunged his tongue inside you, thrusting it in and out, mimicking what he wanted to do with his cock later. His thumb found your clit, rubbing firm circles while he tongue fucked you, the wet sounds obscene in the quiet room. You were soaking him, face, chin, and he loved it, lapping it up greedily, humming in approval at how messy it was getting. "You're gonna come on my face, aren't you?" He taunted, voice rough and low, pulling back to suck your clit again, harder this time, teeth grazing just enough to make you cry out. "Do it. Come for me, show me how much you love my mouth on this pretty pussy."
You arched off the bed, a broken moan tearing from your throat as the orgasm hit, waves crashing through you. Heeseung didn't stop, licking you through it, drawing it out until you were oversensitive and twitching, begging him to ease up. only then did he pull away, lips shiny and swollen, grinning up at you with a wicked, satisfied look. "Good girl," he praised, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, though he didn't really want to, part of him liked the mess, the evidence. you were panting, eyes hazy as you reached for him. He crawled back up your body, capturing your lips in a kiss that let you taste yourself on his tongue, another thing he'd never dare in real life, but here it felt right, hot. "You taste yourself? So fucking dirty," he whispered against your mouth, positioning himself at your entrance. "Ready for more?"
"Yes please," you begged, nails digging into his shoulders, your voice a needy whine that made his cock twitch against you. You were so wet, slick from his mouth and your own release, and Heeseung could feel the heat radiating from you, pulling him in. But before he could thrust forward, the game intervened again again:
position selection: customize your intimacy > missionary (classic connection) > doggy style (deeper access) > her on top (let her ride) > against the wall (intense standing) > [spooning (gentle side entry)]
Heeseung stared at the options, a mix of arousal and exasperation flooding him. Jungwon, you pervert, he thought, adding a fucking position menu? He timer was ticking— 15 seconds — and you were frozen mid breath, eyes locked on his with that desperate, submissive Gaze that made him want to wreck you. He picked the third option fast, because fuck, the idea of you riding him, taking control but still under his command? Yeah, that was it. The menu vanished with a satisfied beep, and the scene resumed seamlessly. You blinked, as if nothing happened, but your hands were already pushing at his chest gently, urging him to lie back. "Let me... let me ride you," you murmured, voice soft and obedient, like you were reading his mind, or the game's script. "Please? I want to make you feel good."
Heeseung grinned, dark and dominant, shifting onto his back and pulling you with him until you straddled his hips. His hands gripped your thighs hard, fingers digging in possessively as he looked up at you, flushed, eager, completely at his mercy. "Yeah? You wanna ride my cock like a good girl?" He growled, the words coming easier now, dirtier, because this wasn't real life. No holding back.
You whimpered, hands bracing on his chest, your hips grinding down instinctively against his length, coating him in your wetness. "Please, Hee... I need you inside me so bad. I'll be good."
Fuck, he thought, she's so subby, so perfect. The game's kink sync must've kicked in, amplifying everything — your voice trembling, eyes wide and pleading, body arching like you were made to submit. Heeseung's hands slid up to your hips, guiding you, lifting you just enough to position himself at your entrance. "That's my girl. Sink down on me slow— let me watch you take every inch." You obeyed instantly, lowering yourself onto him, the head of his cock pushing past your folds, stretching you open. It was agonizingly slow, and Heeseung groaned low in his throat, feeling the tight, wet heat envelop him inch by inch. You were so fucking real, hotter than any game should allow, clenching around him like velvet, your walls fluttering as you took him deeper.
"Oh god you're so big," you gasped, head falling back, eyes fluttering shut as you adjusted, a shiver running through you. It felt too real, the stretch, the fullness, the way he throbbed inside you, every vein and ridge pressing against your sensitive spots. Heeseung could feel it all, amplified, like the game had cranked the sensitivity to max. Sweat beaded on his skin, your thighs trembling around him, and for a second, he forgot it was code — this was you, real you, riding him.
intimate scene progression: 98% | dominance level: high | submission sync: optimal | warning: haptic feedback overload
A faint glitch rippled through the air — the lamp flickering, your moan echoing with a digital edge for a heartbeat — but it only made him thrust up harder, hands gripping your ass to pull you down rougher. "Ride me, baby. Bounce on my cock," he commanded, voice gravelly and demanding, slapping your ass lightly to spur you on. "Faster, come on."
You moaned louder, hands on his chest for leverage as you started moving up and down, hips rolling in circles that ground your clit against him. "Like this? Fuck, Heeseung it feels so good— you're so deep." Your voice broke on a whimper, body obeying his every cue, riding him harder, faster, tits bouncing with each thrust.
Heeseung bucked up to meet you, thrusting deep enough to make you cry out, one hand sliding up to wrap around your throat gently. "That's it, take it all. You're mine in here, aren't you? My perfect little girl, creaming all over my cock." You clenched tighter, nodding frantically.
"Yes—fuck, Heeseung, I love it. You're so deep, so big...." Your voice was breathy, submissive, breaking on moans as you submitted completely, body moving exactly how he wanted, faster when he slapped your ass, slower when he pulled you down hard.
action options: > thrust up harder > put a finger in her mouth > choke lightly > [pull her hair]
Heeseung picked the second without hesitation, his thumb tracing your lower lip before pushing it into your mouth. You sucked on it immediately, tongue swirling around it like it was his cock, eyes half lidded and locked on his, so obedient it made his dick twitch inside you. "That's it, suck it like a good girl," he rasped, your wet lips wrapped around his finger, drool starting to drip. "Imagine it's my cock in your mouth while I fuck this tight pussy. You'd take both, wouldn't you?" You moaned around his thumb, sucking harder, hips stuttering as the added sensation pushed you closer to the edge. Then, in the corner of his screen, a new notification flickered: partner preference update: increase roughness? yes / no | affinity: high for dominant play
She likes it rougher? Heeseung thought, a smirk tugging at his lips as he mentally selected yes. Wow, this is way easier than in real life. The game adjusted instantly, your moans turning needier, body arching more desperately as he ramped up the intensity. "You want it rougher, huh?" He taunted, pulling his thumb from your mouth with a wet pop, strings of saliva connecting it to your lips. He grabbed your hips hard enough to bruise — if this were real— and thrust up sharply, slamming into you with more force. "Beg for it then. Tell me how bad you want me to wreck this pussy."
"Please—fuck me harder, Heeseung," you cried out, leaning forward to brace on his shoulders as you rode him faster, chasing the roughness.
intimate scene progression: 99% | climax indicator: approaching for both | options: prolong / climax now / switch position
The bar flashed red in his peripheral, both your arousal meters pulsing near max. He could feel it too, the coil tightening low in his gut, your body starting to tense and shake. But Heeseung wasn't ready to end it. He selected prolong and switch position, flipping the script. He rolled you both over, pulling out just long enough to maneuver you onto your side, spooning behind you. His chest pressed to your back, one arm wrapping around your waist to hold you tight, the other lifting your thigh high. "Not yet," he whispered hot against your ear, nipping the lobe. "Gonna fuck you like this now." You nodded weakly, pushing your ass back against him. Heeseung thrust back in from behind, the angle hitting deeper, his cock dragging against your g-spot with every slow, rough pump. His hand slid between your legs, fingers circling your clit fast and hard, while his other arm pinned you close. "That's my good girl," he growled, pounding into you now, the spooning position letting him grind deep. "Taking it so well." Your moans turned into desperate sobs, body arching back into him.
Heeseung's thrusts were relentless, his cock dragging deep inside you with every slow, powerful snap of his hips. You were a whimpering mess against him, back arched, ass grinding back to meet him as his fingers worked your clit in tight, fast circles. "Fuck you're so tight like this," he growled, teeth grazing your shoulder, leaving a mark that made you shiver.
intimate scene progression: 99.5% | climax indicator: critical for both | options: prolong / climax now / switch position
The meters were flashing urgently now, his own arousal bar teetering on the edge, but Heeseung still wasn't done — he wanted more, wanted to push the limits of this insane game until it broke. One more switch, he thought, selecting prolong and switch position again. The game responded instantly, a soft chime echoing as he pulled out, flipping you onto your stomach with rough hands. You gasped at the sudden movement, face down on the bed, ass up as he positioned himself behind you, knees spreading your thighs wide. "On your stomach, baby— ass up for me," he commanded. He slapped your ass hard, the crack echoing, your skin blooming red under his palm, and you cried out, pushing back eagerly like the subby little thing the game had turned you into. "That's right, take it. You love being fucked like this, don't you?"
You nodded into the sheets, voice muffled and needy. "Yes—god, yes, Heeseung." The game's encouragement popped up in his vision — dominance boost: activated | roughness level: max | achievement: total submission unlocked — and it spurred him on, like the system was egging him to go further, deeper into the filth.
He thrust back in from behind, burying himself to the hilt in one rough stroke, the angle hitting even deeper, making you scream into the pillow. His hands gripped your hips bruisingly, pounding into you with brutal force, skin slapping loud and obscene. "So fucking wet, dripping all over me," he snarled, spanking your ass again, harder this time, alternating cheeks until they were stinging red. You arched higher, offering more, moans turning into sobs of pleasure. He tangled one hand in your hair, yanking your head back to expose your neck, lips brushing your ear as he growled, "look at you, taking my cock like a good girl. Beg for more — tell me how much you need me to ruin this pussy."
"Please—ruin me, Heeseung," you begged, voice breaking. The game flashed more incentives — rough play affinity: 100% | continue for bonus immersion — and Heeseung lost it, spanking you in rhythm with his thrusts, pulling your hair tighter to arch your back, fucking you rougher, faster, the bed shaking under the force. Glitches were hitting harder now, but it only made him thrust deeper, the hyper real sensations overwhelming: the sting of your skin under his palm, the tight ripple of your walls around him, your sweat slicked back against his chest.
intimate scene progression: 99.99% | climax indicator: imminent | warning: system overload detected
He was right there, teetering on the edge, cock throbbing inside you, but you twisted slightly, looking back at him with glassy, desperate eyes. "Heeseung — cum inside me, please," you implored. "Fill me up, I need it."
For a split second, his brain stopped. Wait, cum inside? What if— but then reality (or unreality) hit him comically hard. It's a game, dumbass. Pixels can't get pregnant. He almost laughed mid thrust, the absurdity breaking through the haze, but he shoved it aside, diving back. "Yeah? You want me to breed this tight pussy?" He growled, slamming into you harder, spanking one last time for good measure. "Beg for it louder—"
"Yes—fuck, Hee!" You cried, clenching around him desperately, body trembling on the brink. "Cum inside me, please— breed me, make me yours!" That did it. The climax hit like a wave, crashing over you both at once. Heeseung thrust deep one final time, groaning loud as he spilled inside you, feeling the hot pulse of his release mix with your own orgasm, walls milking him dry. You screamed his name, body convulsing under him, the shared peak amplified by the game — sensations exploding, vision blurring with pleasure and glitches alike.
As your body shuddered through the aftershocks, Heeseung collapsed beside you, pulling you close against his chest with a gentleness that felt worlds away from the roughness just moments ago. His arms wrapped around you protectively, one hand stroking your hair softly, fingers threading through the tangled strands like he was afraid you'd disappear if he let go. The room was still glitching faintly, but he ignored it, focusing on you, on the way your breaths synced with his, slowing down together.
Heeseung pressed a soft kiss to your forehead, then your temple, his voice dropping to a whisper, sweet and caring, laced with concern. "Hey... you okay? I got carried away back there. I'm sorry if I hurt you."
You looked up at him, eyes soft and hazy, a small smile tugging at your lips as you snuggled closer, head resting on his chest. "No, Hee... I liked it. A lot. It was perfect." Your fingers traced lazy patterns on his skin, voice turning playful, like the dynamic lingered just a bit. "You made me feel so good. Don't apologize."
He chuckled quietly, relief washing over him, and he hugged you tighter, hand rubbing soothing circles on your back. "Good. I just... want to take care of you now." The game prompted options in his vision, soft and glowing: aftercare options: > hold her closer > kiss her gently > whisper sweet nothings > [offer water/snack] -- he picked the third, leaning down to murmur against your ear, "you're amazing, you know that? So beautiful, so perfect for me. I could stay like this forever." You hummed contentedly, body relaxing fully into his, the contrast hitting him. The glitches were fading, but notifications kept pinging: comfort level: maximum | post intimacy glow: active | save progress? yes / no
You shifted slightly, looking up at him with an expression he couldn't quite read. Affectionate, but something deeper, almost knowing. "Heeseung..." your voice was quiet. "See you out there."
He blinked, confusion creasing his brow. "What do you mean?" He sat up a little, heart picking up again, but before you could answer — or before the dialogue wheel could pop up — the world started dissolving. colors bled out, the room flickering violently, static roaring in his ears like a system crash.
Everything went black. Heeseung jolted upright in his chair, the Switch still clutched in his sweaty hands, the screen dark and powered off. His room came into focus: the dim light from his desk lamp, posters on the wall, the faint hum of his pc in the background. His heart was racing, breaths coming fast, and then he felt a sticky, warm mess in his pants, soaking through his boxers. "What the—" he muttered, voice cracking as the full reality sank in. His face burned hotter than ever, cheeks flaming red as he shifted in the gaming chair. He'd actually cum inside his pants. For real. Not just some weird dream or an asleep fantasy — no, full on, pants ruining orgasm from a Nintendo Switch Girlfriend Simulator game. "Holy shit."
Heeseung stared at the dark screen in his hands, the console now completely powered off, innocent looking with its cute joy cons and pastel buttons. It looked so harmless sitting there on his lap, like it hadn't just mind fucked him for hours and then physically fucked him back. He finally set the switch down on his desk, pushing it as far away as the cords allowed. He groaned, dropping his face into his hands.
After cleaning himself up in the bathroom — which involved avoiding eye contact with his own reflection because he couldn't handle the judgment he knew he'd see there — Heeseung collapsed onto his bed and stared at the ceiling. His body felt loose and tired in a way that should have been relaxing but instead just made him feel deeply, profoundly embarrassed.
The worst part was that he wanted to do it again. That was what really got him. Not the fact that it happened, but the fact that his brain was already thinking about when he could play next, or well, when he could fuck you next. He felt like a teenager who'd just discovered something he definitely shouldn't have and was now completely obsessed with it.
He'd spent most of his Sunday in his room alternating between staring at his Switch and telling himself he absolutely was not going to play it again, which had been moderately successful except for the part where he'd picked it up four different times before forcing himself to put it back down. So on that week, he started walking across campus toward the engineering building, head down and hoodie up because he felt like everyone could somehow tell what he'd done just by looking at him, when he saw you. You were sitting on one of the benches outside the library with your laptop open, clearly working on something, your hair pulled back and you were wearing an oversized hoodie that had some game logo on it he couldn't quite make out from this distance. Heeseung immediately changed direction.
He took the long way around the building, added an extra five minutes to his walk, and showed up to lecture slightly out of breath. He was very deliberately not thinking about the fact that he'd just actively avoided you. Which was ridiculous. You hadn't done anything, you didn't even know what had happened. You probably hadn't thought about him at all since that day at the library, were probably just sitting there doing homework like a normal person while Heeseung was having a complete psychological breakdown over a video game.
The problem was that every time he thought about you now, his brain immediately supplied images from the game. The way you'd looked at him, the way you moaned, the sounds you'd made, the way you came, the way it had felt so impossibly real that his body had reacted like it was actually happening. And now he couldn't separate that from the real you, the person he'd met at the party who'd been nice and funny and way too easy to talk to. The rest of the week continued like this. He saw you everywhere now, which was ironic because before the party he'd never noticed you once and now you were apparently in every building he entered. Tuesday you were in the coffee shop in the student center. Wednesday you walked past him in the hallway between classes. Thursday he saw you in the library again, this time on the second floor, and he'd actually turned around and walked back out.
His switch was on his desk, fully charged, basically taunting him. He'd managed to avoid playing it all week, had told himself he was being responsible and mature about the whole situation. But he couldn't stop thinking about it. Every time his mind wandered, it went right back to that night, to the game, to you. And his body was betraying him too, which was mortifying. He'd be sitting in lecture and think about the game for half a second and suddenly he'd have to adjust his laptop to hide the fact that he was getting hard in the middle of algorithms class. It happened during study sessions, during meals, during completely random moments when his brain decided to remind him that the game existed and he could play it whenever he wanted.
He felt disgusting. He was kink shaming himself, which he didn't even know was possible, but here he was, lying in bed at two am feeling like a creep for being attracted to a video game character who happened to look exactly like a real person he'd met. But he also couldn't stop thinking about playing again. About whether it would be like the first time or if there were other features, other scenarios. His brain kept supplying possibilities and his body kept responding and he felt trapped in this cycle of shame and want that he didn't know how to break.
And then on friday afternoon, Heeseung was in his dorm trying to focus on an assignment that was due monday when someone knocked on his door with the kind of aggressive persistence that could only be Jungwon. He considered pretending he wasn't home but Jake had already opened the door before Heeseung could say anything. "Oh hey Jungwon," Jake said. "He's here but he's been weird all week so good luck."
"Thanks for the warning," Jungwon said, stepping inside and closing the door behind him. He went to Heeseung's room and looked at him, who was very deliberately staring at his laptop screen. "Okay, we're going to Five Guys. Get up."
"I'm busy."
"No you're not." Jungwon grabbed Heeseung's hoodie off his chair and threw it at him. "Come on. We're getting burgers and you're going to tell me why you've been ignoring me all week."
"I haven't been ignoring you."
"You answered my texts with one word responses and you've avoided me on campus. That's ignoring me." Jungwon crossed his arms. "So either you come willingly or I'm going to make a scene. Your choice."
Heeseung knew Jungwon well enough to know he absolutely would make a scene. "Fine. But I'm not hungry."
"You're never not hungry. Let's go." And twenty minutes later they were sitting in Five Guys with their orders, the place mostly empty since it was that weird time between lunch and dinner.
Heeseung had been hoping the walk would give him time to figure out what to say to Jungwon, but instead he'd just spent it thinking about the game and feeling more and more uncomfortable. Because the thing was, if Heeseung had done what he'd done in the game, that meant Jungwon had programmed it. Jungwon had sat at his computer and coded in all those options, all those scenarios, all those very specific and detailed features that Heeseung had discovered. Which meant either Jungwon was way more perverted than Heeseung had ever given him credit for, or something else was going on.
"Okay, you're doing it again," Jungwon said, interrupting Heeseung's spiral. "You're being weird and quiet and you won't look at me. What's going on? Is it about the game? Did something break again?"
Heeseung knew he had to say something because this had gone too far. Because if the mature content was intentional, then they needed to have a very different conversation about boundaries and warnings and maybe Jungwon's concerning lack of shame. And if it wasn't intentional, if this was some kind of glitch or malfunction, then that was somehow even worse because it meant the game was doing things beyond anyone's control. Either way, Heeseung couldn't keep avoiding this. Jungwon was his best friend. If he couldn't talk to Jungwon about this, even if it was mortifying, then what was the point of having a best friend? So Heeseung admitted: "Yeah, it's about the game."
"Okay, so tell me." Jungwon looked at him.
"Look, you could've just... you could have warned me that it had adult content." Heeseung forced himself to look at Jungwon. "Like, explicit that I wasn't expecting in a dating simulator."
Jungwon blinked at him. "What?"
"I'm just saying, a heads up would have been nice. I know you're trying to make it realistic but I wasn't prepared for how detailed it was going to get."
"Bro, what are you talking about?"
And then it all came out like Heeseung couldn't stop himself. "I'm talking about the fact that the game has very explicit scenes with very detailed options and I don't know if you've ever actually looked at what you programmed but it's intense, Jungwon. Like the dialogue options were insane, I could say basically anything and the character would respond and some of those options were really freaky. And the action options were even worse, there were so many of them and they were all very specific and very detailed and I'm not going to list them but oh my god and then there was a whole section where it asked me about preferences and kinks and I thought that was just for character building but no, it actually used that information! And there were position suggestions. Position suggestions, Jungwon! With fucking diagrams, man. Why did you add diagrams?! And the whole thing was just very immersive and very realistic and I had a physical reaction that I'm not going to elaborate on but I think you can figure out what I mean and I've been avoiding you all week because I didn't know how to have this conversation without wanting to die of embarrassment."
Heeseung finally stopped to breathe and realized Jungwon was staring at him with an expression of complete bewilderment. "Heeseung," Jungwon said slowly. "I didn't add any of that content."
"What."
"I didn't program explicit scenes. There's no adult content in the game. It's a dating simulator not a porn game. The most intimate it gets is like, hand holding and maybe a kiss at the end if you get the good ending." Jungwon set down his burger. "What are you talking about dude?"
"Don't fuck with me right now."
"I'm not fucking with you, I'm being completely serious." Jungwon was looking at him, shocked. "I didn't add any of that stuff. I wouldn't even know how to program half of what you just described. Like what the fuck is even a kink questionnaire?!"
Heeseung felt cold. "Then how did I experience it, man?!"
"I don't know!" Jungwon was still shocked. "But this actually makes sense now. Y/N's been avoiding me too this week, even more than you have. She won't answer my texts and she literally ran away from me in the hallway yesterday. I thought maybe she was mad at me about something but what if she experienced the same thing you did?"
"What do you mean?"
"Okay, last Friday, remember when you were studying in the library and Y/N left suddenly? I texted her right after she left asking if she wanted to try the updated version of the game and she texted back immediately saying yes and that she was coming to get it right then." Heeseung remembered that day, your phone had buzzed and you'd looked at it and your whole expression had changed, you'd packed up your stuff so fast, muttering something about being late for class even though Heeseung was pretty sure you didn't have class at that time. "She took the game and left," Jungwon continued. "I didn't hear from her after that until she texted me the next day saying she was returning it and that she didn't want to play anymore. And now she won't talk to me."
"What time did she take the game?" Heeseung asked, his voice sounding distant to his own ears.
"I don't know, maybe around four? Four thirty?" Jungwon paused. "Why?"
Heeseung felt like the world was tilting. "I picked up the game from you around four forty five. Remember?"
"Yeah, so?"
"So we both had the game that night. We both played it that same night." Heeseung's mind was racing, putting pieces together. "And you're saying there's no adult content programmed into the game. But we both experienced something intense enough that we're both avoiding you. And we both played it at the same time."
Jungwon's eyes widened. "Oh my god."
"What if—" Heeseung stopped, because what he was about to say sounded insane. But everything about this situation was insane. "What if the game connected us somehow? What if when we both played it at the same time and it put us in the same… I don't know, session?"
"That's not possible because I didn't program any multiplayer features."
"You also didn't program explicit content but I definitely experienced it, man!" Heeseung put his head in his hands. "Jungwon, the character in my game looked exactly like Y/N, exactly like her. And you said the character customization was random."
"It is random. I didn't—" Jungwon stopped. "Wait. She actually said something similar. When she gave the game back she mentioned that the boyfriend character looked really realistic, like someone she could actually know."
Heeseung felt like throwing up. "Did she say who?"
"No, she just said it freaked her out how real he seemed."
Heeseung was pale now. His brain was doing that thing where it tried to process too much information at once and ended up just kind of spinning in place. You had played the game, you had seen a character that probably looked like him. You had found it so realistic it freaked you out. And then you'd played it again last friday, the same day he did, probably around the same time. And Jungwon was sitting here swearing he hadn't programmed any of the content that Heeseung had definitely experienced. Which meant one of two things: either Jungwon was full of shit, which didn't make sense because why would he lie about this, or the game had somehow done something it wasn't supposed to do. Connected two players who didn't know they were playing together, made them interact without telling them, let them do things with each other while both of them thought they were just playing a single player game with really good immersion.
And if that was true, if you'd actually been playing together, then the character Heeseung had been with wasn't just some algorithm. It was you, making choices and responding to him. Doing all those things that he'd been replaying in his head all week. Which meant you'd been doing those things with him, or with a version of him, and you probably had no idea it was real either. So Heeseung stood up so fast his chair scraped against the floor. "What's Y/N's dorm?"
Jungwon blinked at him. "What?"
"Her dorm. Which building is she in?"
"Uh, west campus. Building C, I think? Room 304, why?"
"I gotta go." Heeseung was already grabbing his hoodie.
"Ho where? Heeseung, what—" but Heeseung was already walking, he heard Jungwon call after him something about texting him later but he wasn't really listening. His mind was too busy spiraling through everything he needed to say to you, everything he needed to ask, everything that didn't make sense.
The walk to west campus took fifteen minutes but it felt both longer and shorter than that. Heeseung's hands were shaking and he shoved them in his pockets. He tried to figure out what he was going to say. Hey, so I think we accidentally had virtual sex through a Nintendo Switch last week and neither of us knew it was real. Yeah, that would go over great. Or maybe, hi, remember how we both played that game? Turns out we were playing together. Surprise! Yeah, also worse.
By the time he got to building C, he still hadn't figured it out. Heeseung stood outside the door and realized he couldn't actually get in without a key card or someone letting him in. He was standing there trying to figure out his next move when the door opened and two girls walked out, laughing about something on one of their phones. Heeseung caught the door before it closed and slipped inside. Probably not his finest moment in terms of dorm security, but he was past caring about minor rule violations.
He stood in front of your door for a solid thirty seconds, hand raised to knock, unable to make himself actually do it. This was insane, he was insane. He should turn around and leave and text Jungwon and let Jungwon handle this because Jungwon had made the game and this was technically his responsibility. But he didn't leave, he knocked. And nothing happened for a long moment. Heeseung was starting to think maybe you weren't home, or maybe you were home but ignoring the door, when he heard movement from inside. Footsteps and then a pause. Then your voice, muffled through the door.
"Who is it?"
Heeseung's mouth was dry. "It's Heeseung."
Another pause, longer this time. He could picture you on the other side of the door, probably frozen, probably panicking, probably wondering why the hell he was at your dorm right now. Then the lock turned and you opened the door. You were pale, like actually pale, but you smiled anyway. "Hi Hee. Is… everything alright?"
Heeseung looked at you. You were in pajamas, soft looking sweatpants and an oversized hoodie with some faded band logo on it. Your hair was up in a bun that was more mess than anything else, strands falling out around your face, no makeup. You were standing there at your door at five pm on a friday looking comfortable and real and so pretty it made his chest hurt. He knew he was down bad already. Had been since the game, since the party, since the moment you'd turned around in that park with a flower behind your ear that he'd picked for you except it hadn't actually been you, or maybe it had been, he didn't even know anymore. But looking at you now, in your actual dorm with your actual face and your actual voice saying his name like that, soft and a little worried, he realized the game version hadn't even come close. This was better because this was real.
"Well, yeah, I mean, technically no," he said. Then stopped. "I mean yes. I mean, I need to ask you something and I don't want to sound crazy but I'm probably going to sound crazy anyway so I don't know how to do this without sounding crazy."
Your expression shifted. Something in your eyes changed, like you knew exactly what he was going to say but didn't want to believe it. You stepped back and pulled the door open wider. "Come in."
Heeseung walked into your dorm and tried not to look around but he couldn't help it. The space was small but you'd made it yours, there was a Janna poster on the wall near your desk, the star guardian skin, same one you had on your phone case. Next to it was a persona 5 royal poster that looked like it had been put up carefully. Your Switch was sitting on your desk next to your laptop, the joy cons that soft pink and blue that came with the Animal Crossing edition. Your bed was unmade, blankets pushed to one side like you'd gotten up in a hurry. There were books stacked on your nightstand, a pair of headphones tangled on top of them. A stuffed cat that looked old and well loved sitting on your pillow. It was so much like the apartment in the game that Heeseung felt dizzy. The colors, the vibe, the way things were organized. But also different and better because it was lived in and messy in ways the game couldn't replicate.
"Do you want water or something?" You were standing by your mini fridge, hand on the door, looking at him with that same careful expression.
And then Heeseung opened his mouth and everything just came out.
"Jungwon gave me this game to test Called Girlfriend simulator and I thought it was stupid, like, the most desperate thing I could possibly do, like an actual certificate that I'm way too single for a guy my age. But I played it anyway because I can't say no to Jungwon and also because I was curious and I went on this date with this girl and she liked League of Legends and I had to pick this flower that was glowing and she loved it, and this firefly landed on her hand and she smiled at me like and then we played league together and destroyed her ex boyfriends, and we cooked pasta and she helped me because I was burning the garlic and the game kept giving me dialogue options but then I started just talking and it kept responding like it knew what I was going to say. And then things got really intimate, like really intimate, in ways I'm not going to describe because I'll die of embarrassment but you can probably guess what I mean. And the girl, she... she looked exactly like you. Not kind of like you, exactly like you. same face, same voice, same everything. and i talked to jungwon today And he said there's no adult content in the game, that he never programmed any of that, and that you played it too, last friday on the same night I did. And I think we were playing together and I think we were in the same game, in the same session or server or whatever, and I think the characters we were playing with weren't just game characters and I think they were each other. So I need you to tell me right now, does the boyfriend character in your game look like me?"
You were staring at him. Your hand was still on the mini fridge door but you weren't moving. Your face had gone from pale to flushed and your mouth was slightly open like you wanted to say something but couldn't figure out what. Heeseung's heart was pounding so hard he could feel it in his throat and his hands were shaking and he'd just word vomited the entire situation at you without taking a single breath but he couldn't take it back now. You closed the mini fridge. Didn't get water, just stood there looking at him like you were seeing him for the first time. Your eyes were moving across his face, his hair, his shoulders, like you were checking something or maybe confirming something.
"Yes," you said finally. Your voice came out rough, barely above a whisper.
The word hung in the air between you. Heeseung felt something in his chest crack open, something between relief and panic and a feeling he didn't have a name for.
"Yes he looks like you," you continued, louder now. "Exactly like you and I thought I was going crazy and I thought Jungwon had somehow used photos of you without telling me, or that I was seeing patterns that weren't there, or that I'd just completely lost my mind. But it was you."
Heeseung took a step closer without meaning to. "You played it last friday."
"Yes."
"Around six thirty."
"Yes."
"And things got—" he stopped, couldn't say it.
"Intense." You finished for him. Your face was completely red now.
"So it was real." Heeseung's voice sounded strange. "We were playing together. We were with each other and we didn't know it."
You were breathing faster now. He could see your chest rising and falling under your hoodie. "So when I— when we—"
"Yeah." The room got quiet after that. You looked at him and he looked back and there it was again, that pull from the game, except now there was no screen between you. Just him standing in your dorm with his messy hair and that hoodie you'd seen in the character creator, and you knowing exactly how his hands felt even though you'd never actually touched him before. Your breath caught. His did it too, you saw his chest hitch. Neither of you said anything, you both just moved, like someone had pressed play at the same time. He leaned in, you tilted up, and your mouths met in the middle.
You kissed at the same time.
His mind was racing: this is real, this is actually happening. No reset button, no save file, and he could not stop it even if he tried. Your lips were soft and moving against his in a way that made his hands come out of his pockets and find your waist, pulling you in a bit. You felt his fingers press into the fabric of your hoodie, and you responded by sliding your hands up to his shoulders, gripping the soft material there.
The kiss deepened, his tongue brushed yours lightly, exploratory, and you leaned into it, your back arching off the mini fridge as he stepped closer, bodies pressing together now. A small sound escaped you, not a moan exactly, but something involuntary, and Heeseung reacted by tilting his head more, his hand moving up your back under the hoodie, fingers splaying against your skin, warm and calloused a little. His hands shook a little on your hips, and thank god there were no pop up flashing with options like "kiss deeper" or "pull away," and no dialogue tree to pick from.
You broke for air just a second, foreheads touching, both of you breathing hard. "this is way better than the game," he muttered, voice low and rough, with a tiny grin pulling at his lips.
You huffed a laugh, your hands still on his shoulders. "Shut up."
You pulled him back in before he could say anything else. This kiss was different, harder, more sure. Your teeth caught his bottom lip and he made a noise he'd be embarrassed about later. His hand came up to your face, thumb against your cheek. Your fingers tangled in his hair and tugged and he pressed you back against the fridge hard enough that the door rattled. He kissed down your jaw, taking his time, and you tilted your head to give him room. Your breathing was coming in short bursts. He got to your neck and stayed there, face buried against your skin, breathing you in. You made a sound that kinda sounded like a purr and that did something in him. In his head, he was scrambling, piecing together bits from the game, like the survey thing, where things got rough, when he knew you liked it rough. But now? No way, he wanted this slow, careful, the way you deserved. He slowed his kisses on your neck, his thumb tracing small circles on your side under the hoodie. Don't rush, idiot, his brain nagged, you're not on a timer here.
He pulled back just a bit, forehead against yours, and said, "Sorry, this was kinda... out of nowhere."
You shook your head, still trying to catch your breath. "It wasn't."
He looked at your mouth, then back up to your eyes. "If this is weird for you though. With everything. I can stop."
"No." You said it fast, then quieter. "I want this."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah." you paused, then added quieter, "I haven't stopped thinking about it. Or… you. I can't stop thinking about you."
His brain glitched hard at that. wWait, she what? Holy shit, okay, don't screw this up. And he leaned in again, kissing you deeper now, hands sliding up your back, pulling you flush against him. He nipped at your lip, testing, as things heated back up, his pulse loud in his ears. You pushed him back gently, hands on his chest, guiding him across the room step by step until his back hit the wall with a soft thud. The kiss turned messy then, tongues clashing, breaths mixing in quick gasps, neither of you holding back anymore. Your lips moved to his jaw, nipping lightly, then down to his neck, sucking at the skin there.
He let out an uncontrolled whine, his hands tightening on your hips. That sound made you bolder, so you slipped one hand under his hoodie, fingers tracing the warm skin of his stomach, feeling the muscles tense under your touch. You pulled back up to kiss him again, fast and urgent, teeth grazing his lip. He bent his knees a bit, hands sliding down to your thighs, and lifted you up in one smooth motion. Your legs wrapped around his torso automatically, and he spun you around, pressing your back against the wall now. No action option popped up in his head, no prompt telling him what to do next — he'd done it all on instinct, and that made a quick flash of pride hit him, like he was finally off script, just going with it.
Between kisses, you murmured against his mouth, "Hee, you feel so good."
"You too, god" he breathed back, voice rough. He pressed in closer, his body flush against yours, the bulge in his pants obvious now between your legs. You let out a quiet moan, your head tipping back against the wall. He kept you pinned there against the wall, his hips rolling slow against yours in a rhythm that matched your breaths, each grind pulling a small gasp from you. His hands slid up under your hoodie, fingers spreading wide over your ribs, thumbs brushing the underside of your bra as he kissed you deeper, tongue sweeping in like he couldn't get enough. You arched into his touch and nipped at his earlobe, then soothed it with your tongue. He shivered, a low groan escaping him, and you felt him harden more against you, the friction sending sparks up your spine.
He lowered you slowly to the floor, knees bending as he guided you toward the bed, never breaking the kiss. You tugged at his hoodie, pulling it over his head in one messy motion, his hair falling wild as it came off. His skin was warm, flushed, and you ran your hands over his chest, thumbs circling his nipples until they peaked under your touch. He laughed softly, a little breathless, as he peeled your hoodie off next, tossing it aside. His fingers traced the strap of your bra, slipping it down your shoulder before leaning in to kiss the exposed skin.
You pushed him back onto the bed, climbing onto his lap, your thighs straddling his as you ground down slowly, feeling his erection press right where you needed it. His hands gripped your hips, guiding the motion. As his fingers worked the clasp of your bra, letting it fall away, Heeseung's mind clicked into place: this was infinitely better than any simulator. In the game it was all presets, like surveys and options that guessed at what you liked, scripted responses that felt good but flat. Here, he could watch your reactions for real, feel the way your body tensed or relaxed under his hands, discover the spots that made you squirm without a pop up telling him what to do. No algorithms dictating the pace; just trial and error, his lips on your skin, learning from every shiver, every moan. Why settle for a program when he could map you out himself, piece by piece?
Things picked up then, his mouth closing over one of your nipples, tongue flicking slow at first, then sucking harder when you arched into it, your fingers tangling in his hair. "Hee, yes— like that," you breathed, grinding down firmer, the wet heat between your legs soaking through against his sweatpants. He switched sides, hand cupping the other breast, thumb rolling over the peak. He helped you take your sweatpants off, and then his free hand slipped between you, fingers pressing over your clit through your panties, rubbing in tight circles that had you moaning louder, hips bucking. You reached down, palming him through his pants, feeling the outline of his cock twitch under your hand. "You're so hard already," you said, squeezing gently, watching his face contort. He thrust up into your touch, a whine slipping out as he pulled you in for another kiss, messy and deep.
His fingers dipped under your waistband now, sliding through your slick folds, one dipping inside you slow, curling just right. "So wet, fuck," he whispered, adding another finger, pumping steadily as his thumb found your clit again. You rocked against his hand, breaths coming faster, and tugged at his sweatpants, freeing him enough to wrap your fingers around his length, stroking slow from base to tip, thumb swiping over the precum beading there. He bucked into your grip, groaning into your mouth, the sound vibrating through you. "Keep going," he panted, fingers speeding up inside you, hitting that spot that made your toes curl.
You sped up your strokes, matching his rhythm, the slick sound of your hand on him mixing with the wet push of his fingers in you. He dropped his head to your shoulder, mouthing at your neck, teeth grazing skin as his free hand gripped your thigh hard enough to leave marks. You rolled your palm over the head on every upstroke, spreading the precum down his length, and he thrust into your fist harder, a low whine catching in his throat. His hips stuttered, thrusts into your hand getting erratic, and you felt him swell thicker against your palm. Suddenly he grabbed your wrist, stopping your movement, chest heaving. "I can't— fuck— I'll cum so fast like this."
"Yeah," you breathed, nodding quick, "Fuck, okay." He kissed you hard once more, then pulled his fingers out slow, bringing them to his mouth and sucking them clean while looking right at you. You bit your lip, heat rushing lower. You shifted back a bit, still catching your breath. "You got a condom?"
"Oh shit," he muttered, eyes widening. He reached down to his sweatpants, still tangled around one thigh from your handjob. And dug into the pocket, fumbling for his wallet. You leaned in, kissing along his neck slow, tongue flicking the spot that made him shiver earlier, just to keep him distracted. He huffed as he finally pulled out the foil packet. He glanced at it, then chuckled under his breath, shaking his head. In the game you didn't need this shit — couldn't exactly knock up pixel pussy.
He tore the packet open with his teeth, rolling it on quick but careful, hand stroking himself once to settle it. Then he nudged you back onto the bed, settling between your legs as you lay on your back. He kicked off the sweatpants fully, nearly tripping when they caught on his ankle, and you both grinned at the awkward shuffle. He hovered over you, one hand bracing by your head, the other guiding himself, tip brushing through your folds once, twice, coating in your wetness. "You okay?" he asked, voice low, eyes locked on yours.
"Yeah, fuck, please," you said, wrapping your legs around his hips, pulling him closer.
He pushed in slow, the head of his cock breaching you first, that initial stretch making him grit his teeth; tight, wet heat wrapping around him like a vice, slick from all the buildup, but still enough resistance that he had to ease forward inch by inch. His breath caught sharp in his throat, eyes squeezing shut for a second as the sensation hit him full force: warm walls fluttering around him, pulling him deeper, the condom dulling it just a bit but not enough to hide how perfectly you fit, how your body gave way but clung at the same time. He bottomed out with a low groan, hips flush against yours, and stayed there, pulsing inside you, the fullness making his thighs tense.
This was miles better than the game. In the sim, it was all smooth, predictable friction, coded to feel good but always a step removed, like jacking off to a video. Here, though, buried deep in you, he felt every twitch, every squeeze of your cunt around his cock, the real heat radiating through him, the way your wetness coated him completely, Making each tiny shift send sparks up his spine. It was messy and raw, just the obscene reality of how soaked you were, how his balls pressed between your thighs, heavy and tight, begging for more. He started moving then, slow pulls back and thrusts in, the wet slap of skin filling the room as he found a rhythm. You arched up to meet him, nails digging into his shoulders, leaving red lines he could feel stinging already. "Fuck, you're taking me so well," he muttered, voice wrecked, as he snapped his hips harder once, watching your tits bounce with the impact. He leaned down, mouth latching onto your neck, sucking hard enough to bruise while he ground deep, cock dragging along your walls, hitting spots that made you clench tighter around him.
Your legs tightened around his waist, heels pressing into his back, urging him faster, and he obliged, thrusts turning rougher, the bed creaking under you both. He could hear the squelch each time he buried himself balls-deep, your pussy gripping him. "So fucking wet," he groaned against your skin, one hand sliding down to grab your ass, pulling you onto him harder. You moaned louder, fingers tangling in his hair, tugging as he pounded in, the angle shifting so his pubic bone ground against your clit with every thrust.
He flipped you over suddenly, hands on your hips yanking you up onto all fours, and slid back in from behind in one smooth push, deeper this way, his cock curving just right to make you gasp. He started railing you, skin slapping loud, his balls smacking against you with each brutal thrust. You pushed back against him, meeting every snap, your walls fluttering around him, milking him tighter. He reached around, fingers finding your clit, rubbing messy circles while he fucked you harder.
His mind flashed back to the game then, that kink survey popping up, how you'd picked options that leaned heavy into rough. He wondered if it carried over, if real you craved that edge too. Testing it, he drew back a hand and landed a smack on your ass, not too hard, just enough to sting and make the flesh jiggle under his palm. The sound cracked through the room, sharp over the wet slaps of his thrusts. You moaned low, pushing back harder against him, your pussy clenching tight around his cock like a reflex. That reaction lit him up — okay, she likes it — and he felt bolder, the dom side kicking in without overthinking. "Yeah, you take that so good," he groaned, rubbing the spot he smacked, soothing the heat before landing another, a bit firmer this time, watching your skin pink up.
He kept pounding in, deep and steady, the angle letting him hit that spot inside you that made your knees buckle a little. Reaching forward, he grabbed your wrists, pulling your arms back and pinning them at the small of your back with one hand, your chest dropping lower to the mattress. It arched your ass higher, letting him drive deeper, his free hand gripping your hip hard, fingers digging into the soft flesh there. The restraint made everything tighter, your walls hugging his cock obscenely, slick dripping down his balls with each thrust. "Fuck, I can't take it anymore," he panted, voice breaking as he felt you flutter around him, the build-up coiling tight in his gut.
"Hee—close, I'm so close," you gasped, face pressed into the sheets, hips grinding back desperate now. He picked up the pace, thrusts turning frantic, skin slapping louder, his balls tightening as he railed you harder. "Come on, let go for me, you feel so good clenching like that," he muttered, leaning over you, breath hot on your back. The friction built fast, your moans turning high and broken, and he felt you shatter first, your pussy spasming hard around his cock, milking him in waves, wetness gushing out and coating his thighs. That pushed him over, his hips stuttering as he buried deep one last time, groaning loud as he came, pulsing inside you, the condom catching every thick spurt while your bodies locked together, shaking through it.
You both stayed like that for a minute, chests heaving, sweat cooling on your skin, the room thick with the smell of sex. He was still buried inside you, pulsing faintly with aftershocks, but he didn't want it to end yet. Slowly, he eased out, the condom slick and heavy as he tied it off and dropped it on the floor beside the bed. His hands loosened on your wrists, letting your arms fall forward as you collapsed onto your stomach with a soft groan. He leaned down, lips brushing the small of your back, tasting the salt there, then lower, kissing along the curve where your spine dipped. His teeth grazed the swell of your ass, biting just hard enough to make you twitch, then soothing it with his tongue. You pushed back slightly, thighs parting on instinct, and he took the invitation— hands spreading you open as he dragged his tongue slow from your asshole down to your entrance, lapping up the mess you'd both made. The taste hit him full: tangy, musky, mixed with the latex from the condom and your arousal, thick and real coating his tongue. He groaned into you, diving deeper, tongue pushing inside your pussy, curling to scoop out more, nose buried against you as he ate you out sloppy from behind.
Your hips started rocking back, muffled moans into the pillow, fingers gripping the sheets. He kept going, alternating broad licks up your slit with flicks over your clit, then back to spearing his tongue inside, feeling your walls flutter again. His face was soaked now, chin dripping, lips swollen, as he sucked your clit into his mouth, humming low. You tensed hard, thighs shaking, and came again with a broken cry, pushing back against his face, wetness flooding his mouth as he licked you through it, not stopping until you sagged limp.
He pulled back finally, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand but mostly just smearing it, face shiny and wrecked. He flipped you over gentle, onto your back, and just looked; your cheeks flushed deep red, hair stuck to your forehead, neck and thighs dotted with fresh bruises from his mouth and grip, chest rising fast. You looked completely fucked out, eyes half lidded, lips bitten raw. His gaze dropped to himself: cock half hard again already, hanging heavy, the used condom on the floor bloated with his load, cum visible through the latex. This was nothing like the game. There, everything reset clean, no mess, no lingering taste on his tongue, no actual bruises blooming on skin. Here, he could smell you on his face, feel the ache in his jaw from eating you out, see the evidence of how hard he'd fucked you. Way better. Infinitely better.
He crawled up beside you, collapsing half on top, one leg tangled with yours, hand resting on your stomach as you both caught your breath again. The air was still thick, sheets twisted around your ankles, and Heeseung shifted a little closer, propping his head on one hand to look at you. He picked up your hand, fingers tracing over your knuckles before bringing them to his lips, kissing each one slow, like he was checking they were real. "Hey," he said soft, "was is... good for you?"
You glanced away for a second, cheeks heating up again, then nodded. "Yeah. Really good." Your voice came out quieter than you meant, thumb brushing his wrist. He smiled small, relieved, and pressed another kiss to your fingertips. You swallowed, still coming down, and mumbled, "want some water?"
"Yeah I'll get it," he said quick, already pushing up. He swung his legs off the bed and stood, then paused mid step, one hand going to his lower back with a quiet "Ow—shit." He stretched a bit, wincing. Last time he'd moved like that was... well, in the game and pixels don't pull muscles. He huffed a laugh at himself and shuffled over to the mini fridge, the floor cool under his feet.
He grabbed two bottles, cracked one open for you first, and came back, sitting on the edge of the bed close enough that his knee bumped yours. You sat up a little, taking the water, and he reached out, fingers threading through your messy hair, smoothing it back gently while you drank. His touch was light, almost absent minded, but steady. You lowered the bottle and just looked at him— hair sticking up, lips swollen, a faint red mark on his neck from earlier. You let out a soft laugh, nose scrunching. he raised an eyebrow, grinning. "Hi."
"Hi," you said back, still smiling.
He tilted his head, thumb brushing your cheek. "You need to pee."
You snorted, covering your face with one hand. "Yes, I know." He didn't even hesitate, just slid his arms under you, one behind your back, the other under your knees, and lifted you up like you weighed nothing. You yelped quietly, arms looping around his neck on reflex. "Hee—"
"I got you," he muttered, carrying you across the room to the bathroom door, stepping carefully around the clothes scattered on the floor. He set you down gentle inside, kissed your forehead quick, and pulled the door almost shut behind you. "Take your time." You heard him flop back onto the bed with a dramatic groan, probably rubbing his back again, and couldn't help smiling to yourself in the mirror.
When you came back, he was sitting on the edge of your bed, boxers pulled on, knees apart, elbows resting on his thighs. He looked up as the bathroom door opened and gave you this small, lopsided smile, half awkward, half couldn't-hide-it-if-he-tried glad. His hair was still a mess, sticking up where your fingers had been, and he rubbed the back of his neck like he didn't know where to put his hands now. You walked over and sat next to him, close enough that your thighs touched, the mattress dipping a little under both of you.
For a second neither of you said anything, just the quiet hum of the mini fridge and the faint rustle of sheets when you shifted. He glanced at you sideways. "So... that happened."
You huffed a small laugh, pulling your knees up. "Yeah. It did."
He was quiet for a moment. "Was it—" he stopped, started again. "I don't want you to think that's why I came here. Or that I expected—"
"I know."
"Because we don't really know each other. Like, actually know each other. And I don't want you to feel like this was too much or—"
"Don't we though?"
He looked at you. "What?"
"Know each other." You tucked your hair behind your ear. "I lived all of it with you. In the game."
"Yeah but that wasn't—"
"The date in the park," you said. "You picked that flower for me. The one that was glowing.” Heeseung was very still now, watching you. "And we played League together," you continued. "Destroyed my exes, even though they don't even exist in real life. Also, you were so smug about it, kept emoting after every kill, I thought you were so cute. And then we cooked pasta at my place and you almost burned the garlic and I had to help you and we ended up just—" you stopped, smiled a little. "It felt easy and natural like I'd known you forever. And the dates after that. Like the arcade, that hiking trail." You were looking at your hands now. "And then the park again at night. You told me you were falling for me. I remember it all too well. It was the most real thing that's ever happened to me." You finally looked at him. "And when I met you at the party and realized you were an actual person, I freaked out. Because how was I supposed to deal with the fact that I'd already fallen for you before we'd even met?"
"You—" his voice cracked slightly. "You fell for me?"
"Yeah." You said it simple, like it was obvious. "In the game. I didn't know it was you, but I felt everything. And then when Jungwon texted me about the update, I couldn't — I had to play it again. I had to see you again, even if it was just in the game. I thought it was just the game being really immersive and really realistic and I didn't think you were actually there."
Heeseung let out a breath that was almost a laugh. "I thought the same thing but I couldn't figure out what else it could be."
"And then we both avoided each other for a week." You laughed, dropping your head against his shoulder. "We're idiots."
"Complete idiots." He leaned his head against yours. "But like, in our defense, how were we supposed to know we were accidentally having virtual sex through a Nintendo Switch?"
You snorted, shoulders shaking with laughter. "Please never say that sentence again."
"Which part, the virtual sex or the Nintendo Switch?"
"Both. That whole thing."
He was grinning now. "But it happened."
"Ynfortunately yes."
"And it was—" he stopped.
"Really good," you finished.
He pulled back a little, just enough to look at you, his fingers sliding up to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear. His touch lingered, thumb brushing your cheek. "Yeah. It was. But this way is better." You smiled, he did too. But then he paused, and said quieter, "We don't have to figure it all out right now, you know. The whole... what this means. But," he swallowed, hand dropping to lace with yours on the sheet. "If you want to. If you're down... I'd really like to try this for real. Like, dates that don't require a Switch cartridge. Real hiking and a real arcade. And the boring real stuff too."
You turned your hand over, squeezing his fingers. "Boring real stuff sounds good."
"Yeah?" His smile went soft, relieved, and he shifted closer, knee bumping yours. His free hand came up to your waist, pulling you gently until you were half in his lap, legs tangled again. He kissed you slow then, nothing rushed, just lips moving soft, his hand splaying warm on your back. You kissed back, fingers threading through the hair at his nape, tugging lightly when he deepened it a bit. He pulled away just enough to breathe, lips still grazing yours. "This okay?"
"More than okay," you murmured, chasing his mouth for another quick kiss. He smiled into it, then another, hand sliding up your spine, thumb tracing lazy lines. You broke apart for air, but stayed close, foreheads together. "So," you said, poking his chest. "First real date. You picking or me?"
"I owe you that glowing flower," he said, fingers playing with your hair. "But like, from an actual field this time."
You laughed softly, kissing the corner of his mouth. "Deal. But you're still helping with the garlic."
He groaned dramatically, flopping back onto the pillow and pulling you with him so you landed half on his chest. "Fine. But no emoting when I burn it."
You settled there, ear over his heartbeat, his arms wrapping loose around you. "We'll see."
And you did see, because you saw him burn garlic three more times over the next month, and you emoted every single time, just to watch him get flustered and defensive about it. And the dates weren't like the game. There were no perfectly timed sunsets or fireflies that landed on cue.
Your first real date was at a diner near campus at two in the afternoon because that's when you both had free time between classes. He ordered pancakes and you stole half of them. The syrup was too sweet and the coffee was burnt and it was perfect anyway. You went to an arcade on a Tuesday night because you both thought it would be funny and all the good machines were broken. Heeseung spent twenty bucks trying to win you a stuffed cat from the claw machine and failed every time, just like the game. You ended up buying one from the prize counter with your own money and he carried it around for the rest of the night looking mildly offended. The hiking trail he took you on wasn't the picturesque mountain path from the game. It was a local trail that was mostly flat and next to a highway. You could hear cars the entire time. He tripped over a root and almost took you down with him. But he held your hand the whole way and pointed out a bird he thought was cool, and when you sat on a bench to rest, he kissed you and it tasted like the granola bars you'd been sharing.
You learned things about him that the game had never shown you. That he was grumpy in the mornings and needed at least ten minutes of silence before he could form coherent sentences. That he had a specific way of organizing his desk and got stressed when things were out of place. That he laughed at his own jokes before he finished telling them and it was the most endearing thing you'd ever seen. Meanwhile, he learned that you talked to yourself when you were concentrating, narrating your own thoughts out loud without realizing it. That you had strong opinions about which anime openings were skippable and which were sacred. That you stress baked at midnight and would show up at his dorm at one am with cookies that were still warm and slightly misshapen.
You played League together and he actually did run it down once and you flamed him for fifteen minutes straight. He took you to his favorite boba place and you hated the drink you ordered but drank it anyway because you didn't want to admit you'd made a mistake. He noticed and switched cups with you without saying anything.
And the domestic stuff was better than any game could've captured: grocery shopping together and arguing about which brand of ramen to buy; him falling asleep on your shoulder during study sessions in the library; you stealing his hoodies and him pretending to be annoyed but leaving them at your place on purpose. The way he'd text you random memes at three am just because he thought you'd find them funny. The way you'd save the last bite of your food for him without thinking about it. It was real and messy and nothing like the perfect dates the game had generated. It was so much better.
Three months in, Jungwon decided he wanted to do a pizza night at his place. Make-your-own-pizza, he'd said. It'll be fun, he'd said. He'd assigned everyone tasks and you and Heeseung got stuck with grocery shopping because apparently you were the only ones who could be trusted not to forget something important. Which is how you ended up in the pasta sauce aisle of the grocery store on a Saturday afternoon, having an increasingly heated debate about pizza sauce. "This one has basil already in it," Heeseung said, holding up a jar.
"But that one's too sweet. We need the plain one so we can add our own seasonings." You grabbed a different jar.
"Nobody's going to taste the difference."
"I'm going to taste the difference!"
"Yeah, that's because ou have the most specific opinions about things that don't matter."
"Excuse me, pizza sauce matters. This is important." He looked at you, standing there in your hoodie and jeans with your hair falling out of your bun, holding a jar of pasta sauce like it was a matter of life and death, and he felt something in his chest shift. You'd been arguing about groceries for ten minutes. Before that it had been flour — he'd grabbed all purpose and you'd insisted on bread flour even though Jungwon probably wouldn't care. You had strong opinions about olive oil brands. You'd spent five minutes reading the labels on different types of cheese. It was so mundane and domestic and real and he was so gone for you it was ridiculous.
Heeseung caught your wrist and pulled you back. You turned, surprised, the jar of sauce still in your hand. "What?" He just looked at you for a second. The fluorescent grocery store lighting was terrible and someone's kid was screaming two aisles over and the store radio was playing a compressed version of some pop song from five years ago. Nothing about this moment was romantic or special or anything like the game would've generated.
"You know," he said, "if this was a cooking game, you'd be picking all the wrong action options right now."
You laughed. "What?"
"The wrong sauce. Insisting on fresh garlic when the jarred stuff is right there. Making this way more complicated than it needs to be." He was smiling now, pulling you closer. "You'd be failing the efficiency route."
"Good thing this isn't a game then."
"Yeah." His other hand came up to your face, thumb brushing your cheek. "Good thing." You were looking at him with this soft expression, waiting for whatever he was going to say, and Heeseung realized he'd been waiting for the perfect moment for weeks now. The right time, the right place, the right words. But standing in a grocery store on a random Saturday arguing about pizza sauce felt more right than any perfectly rendered sunset could've been. "I love you," he said.
You went very still. "What?"
"I love you." He said it again, steadier this time. "And I want to finally beat fuck ass Girlfriend Simulator. Make it official."
"Heeseung—"
"I want to complete the Girlfriend Simulator route," he continued, and he was grinning now because he could see you trying not to smile. "Get the good ending. Unlock the girlfriend achievement."
You laughed. "You're such a nerd."
"Yeah, I know. so?" He squeezed your hand. "Will you be my girlfriend? For real this time?"
You set the jar of sauce down on the nearest shelf, not even checking if it was the right spot, and kissed him. Right there in the middle of the grocery store with terrible lighting and screaming children and elevator music playing overhead. His arms came around you and you could feel him smiling against your mouth. When you pulled back, you were both grinning like idiots. "Yes," you said. "Obviously yes.”
And you kissed him. His arms came around you and you could feel him smiling against your mouth. You pulled back just a little, hands sliding up to rest on his chest, fingers curling into his shirt. The kiss turned slower then, softer, your lips brushing his again and again like you couldn't quite stop. He made this quiet hum, one hand coming up to cup the back of your neck, thumb stroking the skin there while the other stayed firm on your waist, keeping you close. Some lady pushed her cart past you both, wheels squeaking on the linoleum, but neither of you moved.
When you finally broke apart, foreheads still touching, you were both breathing a little harder. "I love you too," you said, voice low but steady. "Obviously. And I'm really glad I beat Boyfriend Simulator."
He laughed soft, nose bumping yours. "Wait." His face went serious all of a sudden, eyes narrowing. "That was the name of your game? Boyfriend Simulator?"
"Yeah." You bit your lip, trying not to grin too big. "Jungwon said it was different from Girlfriend Simulator because this one has a multiplayer option."
He shook his head slow, arms still around you, holding you there in the aisle like he wasn't planning on letting go anytime soon. You both just stood there, wrapped up in each other between the shelves of pasta sauce, carts rumbling by, some kid yelling about cereal in the distance. Heeseung stared at you, processing, then let out this quiet groan, dropping his forehead to your shoulder. "I'm going to kill Yang Jungwon."
You laughed into his hair, fingers threading through it at the nape of his neck. "Get in line."
[GAME COMPLETE] GOOD ENDING UNLOCKED: REAL LIFE ROUTE ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED: GIRLFRIEND.EXE NEW GAME+ AVAILABLE: THE REST OF YOUR LIVES
hi everyone! since a lot of people asked, i decided to put together a list of some of my favorite heeseung fics on tumblr ♡ all credits go to the amazing writers — note: some fics contain 18+ content and heavier themes. please read all warnings carefully before reading.
࣪ ִֶָ☾.
90 days of pleasure - @ham-st4r
coffee & cream - @ham-st4r
cumming of age - @enhaflixer
don’t leave again - @lovelee-evan
girlfriend simulator - @heejamas
hopeless - @star-sim
i don't want to be your roommate, i want to kiss your neck ⤷ @taeghi
i hate you - @ikeuverse
kiss me, he’s watching - @enhaflixer
know me - @junsfriend
nothing safe is worth the drive - @calumcxke
operation: how not to get the girl - @heesmiles
player rank: platinum - @simpjaes
pool party - @prod-ddeonu
siren sounds - @i2sunric
sky's the limit - @chenfleur
the brother's best friend trope - @taeghi
you plus me - @paarksunghoon
“just sit on my lap, it’ll be fine” - @jwonsite
࣪ ִֶָ☾.
H.M : ATTRACTION GAME - (on wattpad)⟶this one is so peak you need to read it! highly recommended & my fav heeseung fic...
After your best friend is left heartbroken by the infamous campus legend Jake Sim, you make it your mission to teach him a lesson — the one he won’t forget until he’s practically begging for forgiveness. What starts as a simple plan quickly spirals into chaos, pulling you into a web of complications you never saw coming. Lines begin to blur, intentions get messy, and you realize things aren’t as black and white as they seemed. After all, a bad reputation is a heavy burden to carry on both ends, isn’t it?
content tags: tooth rotting miscommunication, enemies to enemies, y/n is the bitch we all aspire to be, angst, mid ass slow burn, college au, emotional turmoil, long ass fic, crack, blonde jake, campus romance (?), fake relationship, heejake if you squint.
# 1 shots
You and Chaerin had been inseparable for as long as you could remember, or at least that was the version of the story you held onto.
Same neighborhood which turned into same classrooms, same whispered gossip during lectures, same shared lunches when neither of you liked what your mothers packed. High school came and went with the same confidence that you would always orbit each other, and even now, in college, despite being in different courses, you still found your way back to the samecramped dorm room at the end of the day.
Sisters, practically. That's what everyone said, and for a long time, you believed it too. Which was why the shift felt so wrong when you finally discovered it.
"Chae, I told you..." Your voice faltered, as you stared at the two green glass bottles sitting on your desk like unwelcome guests. "I jus-no. Stop."
The room smelled faintly of graphite and eraser shavings, your half-finished architecture sheets spread across the desk in uneven layers. Lines and measurements blurred together demanding your attention in a way alcohol never could.
Behind you, Chaerin let out a soft, impatient sigh.
“Come on,” she groaned, dragging the word out as if coaxing a child. "It's just soju. You're acting like I brought poison."
You pressed your pencil down harder than necessary, it's tip snapping against the paper. The small, sharp sound echoed louder than your unsaid thoughts and hesitation "That's not the point," you muttered, not turning around. "I have to finish this. It's due tomorrow, Chae."
"And you will," she replied too easily. "After you relax a little."
You finally looked at her. She was sprawled across your bed, one leg dangling off the edge, her hair falling messily around her shoulders. There was a dullness to her eyes that hadn't been there before, a restless kind of energy, like she was always chasing something just out of reach.It unsettled you.
"I don't need to relax," you said, softer this time.
Chaerin clicked her tongue, sitting up with a suddenness that made you flinch. She grabbed one of the bottles, twisting the cap open with practiced ease "that's exactly your problem," she said, pouring the clear liquid into two mismatched cups. "always stuck in your head. Always working, always worrying...touche"
"I'm not-"
"You are."
You fell quiet.
For a second, neither of you spoke. The air shifted, subtle but heavy enough to feel. She held out one of the cups toward you. "Just one, please?" she said, her voice softening again, almost pleading now. "Drink with me."
You stared at the cup, then at her.
And that was the problem, wasn't it?
Chaerin wasn't just anyone. She wasn't a classmate you could brush off or a senior you could politely refuse. She was the person who knew exactly what your regular orders were, who could read your mood from the way you shut a door, who used to pull you out of crowds the moment you looked overwhelmed.
She knew you.
Which was why this — this insistence felt SO wrong.
"You know I don't like it," you said quietly. Her hand faltered for the briefest moment. Then she laughed, light and dismissive, "You've barely even tried," she said. "How would you know?" Your fingers curled slightly against your palm."I have," you insisted. "That one time, remember? With the seniors? I didn't even want to be there."
"Yeah, and you survived," she shot back. "See? Not a big deal."
"It was a big deal to me." The words slipped out before you could soften them. Chaerin's expression flickered as something unreadable passing through her eyes, but it was gone just as quickly. She leaned back again, taking a sip from her own cup instead "You're overthinking it," she murmured.
Maybe you were. Or maybe you weren't. Because this wasn't just about the soju. It hadn't been for months after that party. You could still remember the way she had bounced into your room that evening, excitement practically spilling out of her. Some rich kids from college were throwing it.
One of those infamous monthly parties everyone seemed to talk about in hushed, intrigued tones. You did warn her, just enough to let her know it wasn't your scene. Those places weren't as harmless as people made them out to be. That free flowing alcohol and dim lights and strangers with too much money and too little consequence rarely led to anything good.She had laughed it off
"chill y/n," she had said back then too.
She had wanted you to come with her. And you hadn't. You lied about going home for the weekend, packing a bag just to make it believable. You remembered the way she had pouted and tried to convince you one last time before leaving.
And you remembered the feeling of relief when the door finally closed behind her.
You weren't trying to control a grown girl like her and act like some strict parental figure. But something about that party had felt off. And when she came back, something about her felt off too. At first, it was small things. A new tone in her voice, certain impatience that hadn't been there before. Late nights that turned into early mornings. New people, new habits, new laughter that didn't quite sound like hers. You tried to ignore it.
Until ignoring it wasn't enough anymore. Now, sitting in your dorm room with unfinished assignments and a cup of soju being pushed into your hand, you couldn't pretend you didn't see the change or worse feel it.
"Chae," you said again, more carefully this time. "Why are you pushing this so much?"
She didn't answer immediately, instead, she took another sip, her gaze drifting somewhere past you, like she was looking at something you couldn't.
"It's just a drink," she said finally. But it didn't feel like just a drink.
Not when she looked at you like that....like—like she needed you to say yes. Not when it felt like saying no was slowly putting a distance between you that you didn't know how tocross anymore.
Your eyes dropped to the cup in her hand, then to the bottle on your desk, for a fleeting moment, a bitter thought crossed your mind.
You were tired of blaming the booze and over the top drunk horny adults for Chaerin's change, because certainty you knew Jake Sim deserved the full blame.
Okay hold on, rewind.
Whoooooo the hell was Jake Sim?
God, how badly you wished life worked in a way where you could just ask that one question and move on without facing any consequences. But nothing about Jake Sim was ever that simple. See he was well a reputation if you had to define him in the most brutally honest way possible. He was your typical upper class, introverted disaster with an ego that reached places even his money probably couldn't. The kind of guy people either obsessively adored or instinctively avoided and you had always been very comfortable being inthe second category.
A "community dick," was the most accurate description you could come up with after overhearing your classmates gush about his toenails and ball hair for what felt like the fiftieth time in one week.
bizarrely enough you never understood the obsession when you occasionally spotted him in the canteen, surrounded by his loud, obnoxious friends who seemed allergic to basic etiquette. Their laughter carried across the room, sharp and intrusive, making you instinctively shrink into your seat.
You had always silently thanked whatever higher power was looking out for you that Jake Sim was nowhere near your academic orbit. Different major, building and thankfully different world.
Perfect.
Except life, apparently, had a twisted sense of humor because while he stayed far away from you, he didn't stay away from Chaerin. Same department. Same classes. Same daily proximity. Bad news.
What confused you more was how Chaerin herself used to talk shit about him, ranting about his attitude, his arrogance, the way people bent over backwards for him like he was something divine energy. She gave you every unnecessary detail about him, every petty observation, every eye roll translated into words.
And then–It just... stopped.
Or worse, it flipped. Somewhere along the way, the same Chaerin who couldn't stand him started orbiting him instead. Watching his friend group like he had become something important and something she couldn't afford to lose sight of.
"Ah, fuck this shit."
The frustration finally spilled over and before you could second guess yourself, you grabbed the bottle from the desk and tilted it back, the sharp, burning liquid sliding down your throat in one reckless gulp. It burned god, it burned so good but you didn't stop until the bottle was nearly half empty.
"Girl-slow *hiccup* down-" Chaerin's words slurred together, as she tried to sit up straighter. Too late.
You wiped your mouth with the back of your hand, blinking away the sting in your eyes. The room felt warmer now, heavier, like the air itself had thickened."See..." Chaerin muttered, her words dragging, uneven. "I know *hiccup* you might hate me... for this one..."You frowned, irritation flaring instantly "Oh my god, just say it already," your adrenaline snapped. "You've said that line like fifteen times today." Your patience was hanging by a thread. At this point, smashing the bottle on her head felt like a reasonable option.
"Okay... wait..." she mumbled, blinking slowly as if trying to catch her thoughts mid-air. "Uh... where was I...? Right... right... so, I know you–*hiccup* no, fuck–I know you will-"
Your grip tightened around the bottle.
This was it.
Whatever it was, you were done waiting.
"Jaaay*hiccup*ke—kissed me..." she slurred, the name stumbling out of her mouth, "... then... uh... we kinda had sex."
Your hand froze mid-air and so did everything else, your thoughts, your breath, the room itself felt suffocating.
"What?" you repeated, the word coming out flat,almost disbelieving. Then, because your brain refused to process it any other way, you let out a sharp, incredulous laugh "Oh, you mean you got drunk and slipped on his dick?" your tone dripping with disbelief. Chaerin shot upright, offended despite her state. "No-wait-I-I did ride him *hiccup* how di-OWH!" Her words were cut off by a loud crash.
The bottle left your hand before you even realized it, flying straight out the open window. The sound of it shattering echoed faintly from below."Y/n, bitch!" Chaerin scrambled toward the window, panic cutting through her haze as she leaned out, trying to see if you had just accidentally committed manslaughter.
"What the fuck-Y/n!"
You clicked your tongue, leaning back against the desk like nothing had happened "I know there's more to your story," you said coldly. "Go on."
Her eyes widened.
Gotcha! Did she really think she could drop something like that and leave it half-finished? Not to you. Never to you.
"Chae," you added, your voice quieter but sharper, "don't make me smash the second bottle on your head."
She swallowed. "Okay... so..." she began, fidgeting with her fingers. "We did it... and then... when I woke up *hiccup* I texted him..." Her voice wavered. And just like that, something in your chest tightened.
The bottle slipped from your fingers, forgotten. Oh no. You knew that tone. You knew those pauses. Before she could say another word, you crossed the room in seconds, stepping over scattered cushions and pulling her into your arms. She broke instantly, her body collapsing against yours as sobs wracked through her.
"Y/n..." she choked out. "He-he said he doesn't want to keep any connection with me anymore... it was just a one-time thing..."
Her words shattered between hiccups and tears, each one hitting harder than the last. You closed your eyes, exhaling slowly as you held her tighter, your hand coming up to cradle the back of her head. Of course it was this. You guided her gently toward the bed, sitting her down as you wiped her tears with your thumb, your movements careful. "Hey... hey..." you murmured softly. "easy..."
She clung to you like a coala.
"Is this why you've been drowning yourself in all these weird drinks?" you asked, your voice quieter now, softer. She nodded barely but it was enough. Enough for everything to click into place.
God.
A part of you wanted to scream and to say
'I told you so'
To remind her of every warning, every concern she had brushed off. To curse Jake Sim and every rumor that followed his name, because clearly none of it had been exaggerated. But you didn't. Because right now, she wasn't the girl who ignored your warnings, She was just your Chaerin hurting, and crying in your arms. And that mattered more than that stupid shit assed Jake with bad reputation.
The following week passed as you giving nastiest side eyes to jake while chaerin ignored both you and that group of monkeys like plague. You did not insist her to have forced conversations because poor girl needed time to re-collect her thoughts.
You carried it with you everywhere, through lecture halls, crowded corridors, even the quiet corners of the campus where you usually found peace. It sat heavy in your chest, simmering just beneath the surface, most evident in the way your eyes instinctively narrowed every time you spotted him. Jake Sim.
If looks could kill, he would have been long gone.
Chaerin, slipped in and out of spaces quietly, conversations cut short, laughter nonexistent. You didn't push her. As much as it irritated you watching her shrink into herself like that youunderstood. She needed time. Time to think, to process, to gather whatever pieces of herself had been shaken loose But that didn't mean you let him off easy.
Because while Chaerin withdrew, you sharpened. Jake, continued living like nothing had changed. His routine, as far as you could gather from Chaerin's previous backbitching sagas, overheard conversations and casual observations, was almost annoyingly consistent.
Jake's life was simple. Wake up late. Ignore half the messages in his group chat and the other half from girls he had probably promised something to. Drag himself to classes and somehow still remain the topper of the entire engineering department. Afternoons were reserved for his friends, loud and carefree in the canteen or on the basketball court. Evenings drifted between the library, the gym, and video calls with his brother Riki, except now there was one small disruption in that perfectly curated routine.
Your sharp unrelenting gaze burning holes through his thick ass head.
"Yo, she totally wants you."
Sunghoon snickered laced with amusement as he passed the basketball to Sunoo. The two of them moved with practiced ease, laughter slipping between them, just another joke. "Everyone wants him," Jay muttered under his breath, wiping sweat from his forehead as he tried and failed to snatch the ball from Jungwon. "What's so surprising about that?"
Sunghoon scoffed, clicking his tongue. "Ugh, this time it's different—Sunoo here!"
Jake barely reacted. He sat on the edge of the court, phone in hand, scrolling lazily through pictures of layla, his dog that riki spammed that morning.
"Bro, I think you should ask her–oh shit..." The ball slipped from Sunghoon's hand with a loud thud. The rhythm of the game faltered because the sharp, unmistakable click of your heels had cut through the court like a warning. The air shifted as you approached, the boys' chatter dying down into something uncertain. You stopped right in front of him. "Mr. Park is asking for Sim Jake."
Your voice was calm but your eyes, however, never left his face.
"Why?" Jake asked, not even bothering to look up from his phone. Your lips pressed into a thin line "well, I didn't feel like entertaining your nonsense," you shrugged "So I skipped the part where I ask him Why"
Jay let out an irritated huff from behind you. "You're not even from our department. What the hell?"
Ignoring him completely you repeated "Mr. Park Soohyun is expecting Sim Jake in the sports office," tone blunt now. That got his attention.
Jake finally stood, slipping his phone into his pocket. He still didn't look at you, not even once, as if your presence alone wasn't worth the effort. "I'll be back," he said, tossing the ball toward Sunghoon. Then he walked past you.
And you followed. Not a word exchanged, just the sound of your footsteps trailing behind him.
The hallway should have been crowded at this hour. Between lectures and practice sessions, it was usually filled with noise — But today, it felt... off. A few students lingered here and there, one slumped against the wall, scrolling endlessly on their phone, another sprawled across the bleachers with a book covering their face, half- asleep. The rest of the corridor stretched ahead, unusually empty. And in the middle of it you followed a few steps behind Jake.
Your eyes, almost against your will, traced the line of his broad shoulders, then drifted upward to the messy blond strands of his hair. Then lower, the thin fabric of his shirt clung to his back, damp with sweat, outlining the flex of muscle beneath it with every step he took. Your felt your throat drying as your gaze lingered a second too long.
What the fuck.
You blinked hard, snapping yourself out of it.
Have you actually just lost it?
Absolutely not. You dragged your eyes away, jaw tightening. This was not the time to notice things like that. You had a purpose. A very important, very justified purpose. And it definitely did not involve... whatever the fuck was that.
The sports office came into view at the far end of the hallway, tucked into a corner, door standing plain and unassuming, but you knew better. Mr. Park usually kept it locked ever since that incident with the stolen baseball bats. No one really talked about it much anymore, but the habit stuck. Except today It wasn't locked. Jake slowed down slightly, stopping just short of the door. You watched him inhale, before he pushed it open and stepped inside.
For a split second, it almost looked like he forgot you were there.
"Good afternoon, Mr. Park..." His voice echoed faintly from inside.Silence answered.
"Mr. Park?" he tried again, a little louder this time. "....is there anyone–"
Click.
The sound was small, almost insignificant. But Jake froze.
His head snapped toward the door just as it shut completely, the lock sliding into place with a finality that made your chest tighten with something dangerously close to satisfaction.
"What the fuck?!" His voice sharpened instantly, his fist hitting the door hard. "Hey-open this!"
Outside, you leaned back slightly, your breath uneven, adrenaline rushing through you in waves. A bead of sweat slid down your neck, but you barely noticed. Because you were smiling. "Stay there and think about what you did asshole!" you called out, your voice carrying just enough to reach him through the door.
There was a brief pause, then the banging got louder. "Are you fucking serious right now?!" Jake's voice came through, muffled but furious as he shoved against the door, trying the handle again. "Open the damn door!" You bit back a laugh. He pushed harder, kicked once, then again, frustration bleeding into every movement. The rattling of the handle, the dull thud of his shoulder against the wood, it all blended into a chaotic rhythm behind you.And then your laughter slipped out anyway. You turned on your heel, the sharp click-clack of your shoes cutting through the hallway as you walked away, each step lighter than the last.Behind you, the banging continued.Jake Sim wasn't in control anymore and oh— He was soooo pissed.
"Students, it is unfortunate to note that the sports equipment robbery is still ongoing..."
Mr. Park's voice echoed across the cafeteria, cutting through the usual lunchtime chatter. You barely reacted, too focused on finishing the last piece of chicken nugget on your plate, chewing slowly taking your sweet time.
"People really have nothing better to do than rob sports equipment?" Chisa huffed, clearly annoyed, as she stretched her hand toward Jurin for her compact powder. "I mean... maybe that's what fills their bank accounts," Chaerin muttered absentmindedly. You glanced at her. She still seemed distant, less than before, but not quite herself yet. There was a softness to her voice now, like she was slowly returning but hadn't fully found her footing. Still, it was progress. And that was enough to make you smile, even if only faintly.
"Speaking of which," Jurin chimed in, pointing her chopsticks toward a certain table across the cafeteria, "I've only ever seen that group use the equipment anyway."
You didn't turn. You didn't need to.
Your heart, however, betrayed you — pounding just a little faster, as if it already knew exactly which group she was referring to. You kept your gaze steady, deliberately choosing not to look back. Instead, your eyes drifted toward Chaerin again. And just as you expected she was already looking at them. At him.
Her eyes lingered, slightly glossy, emotions flickering across her face in a way that made your jaw tighten.
You bit the inside of your lip. No.
You weren't letting this go. Not yet.
Not until Jake Sim was on his knees begging, apologizing, breaking the way he made her break. Only then would you consider letting it rest.
"Uh... earth to Jake Sim?" Jake's train of thought snapped abruptly, his brows furrowing as the overly high-pitched voice cut through his focus.
"Can you stop ignoring Evelyn?" the girl snapped, crossing her arms. "You were the one who promised to take her to the museum!"
Jake huffed, clearly caught off guard. Now who the hell had he promised that to?
Sunghoon cackled beside him, the sound only worsening the dull throb forming in Jake's head "Jake and a museum?" he slapped his thighs, laughter still rolling out "tell Evelyn to just print a cardboard cutout of him if that helps!"
The girl let out an irritated noise, clearly unimpressed, before turning on her heel and storming away.
Jake sighed, dragging a hand down his face as a string of curses slipped under his breath. Why was Decelis filled with such abnormal examples of humanity?
The rest of the week dragged on painfully slow as Jake buried himself in his studies, preparing for the upcoming midterms with an intensity that left little room for anything else. Notes, lectures, assignments, he drowned in them all, using the workload as a distraction. Occasionally, his phone would buzz with messages from Sunghoon and Jay usually something about clubs recruiting volunteers for their so called "public service"week.
Apparently, it offered extra credits. Not that Jake cared. His grades had always been flawless, consistent enough that he never had to worry about bonus points. Weekends, for him, were sacred and reserved for uninterrupted sleep and the occasional gaming session. And as far as he was concerned, this weekend would be no different.
Or at least, that's what he thought.
Until his phone started going off. One call. Then another. Then another. Followed by a flood of messages.
Jake frowned, pulling his phone from his pocket. He usually kept it on silent, but for some reason he hadn't that day. And now, past 1 p.m, his screen was filled with an absurd number of missed calls. All from Sunghoon.
"What the hell...?" He finally answered, voice hoarse and clearly irritated.
"Bro, what the fuck?!" Sunghoon's horrified voice exploded through the speaker, loud enough to make Jake pull the phone slightly away from his ear. "Check the college website right now!" Jake blinked, still trying to process the urgency.
"What are you talking about-"
"The volunteering list is out!" Sunghoon cut him off, his tone bordering on hysteria. "And someone signed you up for the National Museum!"
Silence.
Jake stared at his phone then at the wall and then back at his phone
"...You've got to be kidding me."
Welp. There went his perfect weekend.
"Good morning! Welcome to the registration offic—oh... it's you." Sadie's voice dropped the moment she recognized you, her expression twisting into poorly concealed annoyance. Still, she quickly recovered, forcing on a sickeningly sweet smile.
"Uhm, how can I help you, Miss Y/n Y/l/n?" she asked, tone dripping with fake politeness.
You physically cringed at the way she said your name, clearing your throat before speaking. "Uh... Sadie, I noticed you were talking with Jake today”
"Ugh, don't even start about that asshole," she cut in immediately, emphasizing the last word while grinding her teeth.
She clicked her tongue in irritation before narrowing her eyes at you. "Also, why are you suddenly so interested in Jake Sim? Even that day, I noticed you giving him heart eyes like you wanted to unzip his chain and give the cafeteria a real volunteering show—"
You slapped your hand over her mouth before she could finish, head whipping in every direction to check if anyone had heard that. "Are you insane?" you hissed under your breath. Sadie smacked your hand away almost instantly "ew, what the hell?"
You swallowed hard, staring at her in disbelief. Can she just... disappear? Why was she this insufferable?
"Look, Sadie," you said, taking a steadying breath, trying very hard not to knock out her barely five foot frame, "I'm here as a peacemaker."
She raised a brow, clearly unconvinced.
"See, I know Jake ditched Evelyn for that museum date..." you continued carefully, choosing your words. "But he's regretting it now. He told me to register him for the volunteer program at the National Museum." Sadie gave you a blank face then she slowly looked you up and down, her lips curling into a mocking smile "Why the fuck would he tell a nobody like you what he's feeling?" she scoffed. "Since when are you sooo close to Jake?"
You bit the inside of your lip. Right. You expected that. Still, you didn't hesitate.
"I overheard him talking to his friends on the phone," you replied smoothly. "He said he really regrets what he did to Evelyn... and how he ignored you in the cafeteria."
That did it. You immediately saw the shift.Sadie stilled and there it was. That flicker behind her eyes. Hungry of Interest and validation she thrived on. If there was one thing you knew about Sadie, it was that she would drop all logic the moment attention came into the picture, especially if it involved someone like Jake.
And now? Now she was hooked.
You kept your expression neutral, though internally, you knew you had her exactly where you wanted. You gave a small shrug. "That's what I heard....and as someone who who admire Evelyn and you as my senior...I just wanted to help you all"
You noticed Sadie's smile getting bigger.
Then, slowly, she nodded to herself, as if piecing things together in her head "Uh... okay," she said finally, her tone shifting. "I'll set Jake and Evelyn in the same segment at the National Museum."
There it was. The opening you needed. And just like that your plan moved one step forward.
# 2 clickbait
Jake swore he was going to pass out at any moment if another child approached him with same ridiculous bullshit like why historical figures had small dicks. He dragged a tired hand down his face, exhaling sharply as he stared at the museum walls, silently praying for the worst possible downfall of whoever had put him in this situation. And somehow he knew EXACTLY who was behind it.
Evelyn's soft voice pulled him out of his spiraling thoughts.
"U-uhm... thank you, Jake," she said, her tone hesitant as she tried to tuck strands of her hair behind her ears, clearly attempting to hide how red they had become. "For... reconsidering our date. You really are a man of your word. I don't know why people make such weird assumptions about you, but—but I just wanted to let you know... I don't care about your bad reputa—"
Jake yawned blatantly.
See Evelyn was....fine. More than fine, actually. Pretty, soft-spoken, most people would easily fall for. He had noticed her before, maybe once or twice during calculus lectures, when boredom got the best of him. But that was it. Nothing more. He had known from the very beginning that the "date" she once asked him about, eyes hopeful, voice slightly trembling was never going to happen. Yet somehow, he had still said yes. Because Jake Sim never really thought twice before making promises.
And now here he was. Stuck babysitting a group of overly curious children in a museum, listening to questions that made his head hurt, while standing next to a girl who clearly thought this meant something more than it actually did. He suppressed a groan.
Is this my karma for not clearly rejecting people? The thought lingered, bitter and annoyingly accurate. But then another thought cut through.
You.
His jaw tightened instantly. The memory of the locked sports office, your voice, your laughter echoing down the hallway, it all came rushing back, sharp and irritating.
Who the hell—No What the fuck was your problem?
Because this? This had your name written all over it.
The soft pitter patter of rain against the glass window stirred Chaerin awake. She blinked slowly, adjusting her slightly fogged glasses as she lifted her head from the table. For a moment, everything felt hazy, her thoughts, her surroundings, even the time. How long had she been sleeping in the library? A dull ache settled behind her eyes as she straightened up, wincing slightly.
The table was cluttered with open books, scattered notes, and uncapped highlighters. Somewhere between all that mess. She fumbled around for her phone, finally finding it beneath a stack of questionnaires. Outside, the rain poured heavily, blurring everything beyond the glass into indistinct shapes. The rhythmic sound felt almostsoothing.
Lately, she hadn't been sleeping much in her dorm. For some reason, the library felt quieter and safer. More peaceful than her own room.
Did Y/n already go back to the dorm?
she wondered, pushing her chair back as she stood up.
Chaerin grabbed her umbrella, clutching it tightly in her left hand as she made her way out of the main building. The hallway was nearly empty. Most students had gathered near the entrance, waiting for the rain to ease before heading out. A few leaned against walls, some scrolling through their phones, others simply watching the downpour. Chaerin slowed down as she approached the gate.
And then she froze.
Her breath hitched.Leaning casually against a pillar stood a figure she knew all too well.
He looked... the same. Something about the moment felt different and almost like a miracle or as if sensing her presence, he looked up. Their eyes met and neither of them moved.
Not for longer than a second and then he adjusted his cap, pulling it lower to cover his face before pushing himself off the pillar. Without a word, without another glance he walked straight out into the rain.
"Wait! Ja—fuck!"
Chaerin stumbled forward, her umbrella slipping from her grip as it knocked into a nearby plant pot, sending it clattering to the ground.
"You look miserable as ever." Sunghoon's voice cut through the room as he glanced up, eyeing Jake from head to toe who stood there, completely drenched, water dripping from his hair, his clothes clinging uncomfortably to his body. Jungwon giggled from the side. "His life has been nothing but a shitshow ever since his secret admirer showed up—"
He stopped mid-sentence. Jake's glare was enough "...Okay, I'll shut up," Jungwon muttered, raising his hands in surrender.
"She stole my umbrella," Jake said flatly.
There was a fake attempt to look for words of consolation as Sunghoon turned away covering his mouth, not wanting to spit the gum at Jake's face while having a crashout level laughing. And then, unfortunately, to picture it Jake searching for his ridiculous Spongebob umbrella and someone actually stealing it was not helping him to stay sane at all.
"...What the fuck happened to you?" Jungwon groaned as the door burst open again.
Another drenched figure stepped in. Water pooled on the floor as he walked in, completely soaked. "I had a bathroom emergency," Jay announced casually, pulling off his wet t-shirt and tossing his cap toward Sunoo.
Jake, Jungwon, and Sunghoon exchanged a long, tired look.
"Man, we've been friends for as long as I can remember," Jungwon started, narrowing his eyes. "Stop lyi-"
The sharp sound of Jay's room's door slamming shut cut him off and eventually silence followed.
Jungwon sighed "...Yeah, okay. Not asking."
"H–he won't even stop to talk to me... and would rather walk out in the rain... wahhhhhh y/nnnnn"
You let out a deep sigh, passing another tissue to Chaerin. She was sprawled across your bed again, her head hanging slightly off the edge, hair cascading down as she continued rambling between sniffles. Meanwhile, you sat on the floor beside her, your back resting against the wooden frame of the bed, your head tilted up as you stared at the ceiling. Her cries didn't stop.
You had genuinely thought things were getting better. Slowly but still, better. Chaerin had started showing signs of herself again, enough to make you hopeful. And you? You were doing your part, making Jake regret every second of his existence. Or at least, that's what you had thought. Your eyes shifted toward the corner of the room. The stupid Spongebob umbrella sat there, slightly tilted, almost mocking you. You had taken it earlier that day from his bag while he was too busy fooling around with his equally stupid friends on the basketball court.
A small victory.
But clearly not enough.
You clicked your tongue softly. Nah.
This wasn't working. You needed something bigger. Something that would actually hit him where it mattered, something embarrassing enough to make him crawl back and apologize to Chaerin. Something that would make him think twice before ever ignoring her again.
"Don't worry, Chae..." you murmured quietly, "everything will end soon."
Chaerin sniffled again, barely processing your words.
But you weren't really talking to her anymore. Because at that exact moment an idea formed.
A little unhinged maybe.
A faint smile tugged at your lips. Oh, Jake....you were so dead.
Getting Evelyn's number hadn't been difficult. Sadie practically handed it over without much effort. The two of them were always glued together anyway, so it barely took any convincing on your part. What was difficult was Evelyn herself. Convincing her that Jake was playing with her turned out to be far more complicated than you had anticipated. If anything, things had gotten worse. After setting them up to volunteer together at the museum, Evelyn seemed to have grown even more attached to him.
And that was a problem. Because no matter how obvious it seemed to you, she just refused to see it.
You exhaled slowly, leaning your head back against the bed.
So if she wouldn't see it you would have to make her see it. Your fingers tapped absently against the floor as your thoughts began to align, one by one.
There was only one way to do this. Jake's reputation.
That was your key. Every rumor, every story, every whisper that followed his name around campus it all existed for a reason. And now? You were going to use it.
Carefully and strategically you were going to play your cards right.
You scrunched your nose in irritation as you stared at the engineering major's schedule in front of you. Jake was — unfortunately far more studious than you had expected. It made no sense. How could someone juggle being a complete menace when it came to relationships and still manage to maintain such an academically perfect life? You clicked your tongue, zooming in further on the neatly organized routine that had been sent to you by his class representative, someone you had somehow managed to charm (or manipulate) into sharing the information. Honestly, even you were impressed with yourself.
"Monday no chance...Tuesday....three calculus classes oh my god...Thursday... no free period..." you muttered under your breath, scanning the list. "And who the hell attends classes on Saturdays—oh wait."
Your posture straightened slightly as your eyes caught something. There it was. A gap. Right after his electrical engineering class. Your lips slowly curled into a smirk.
Okay this was your chance "I need to corner him that day," you whispered to yourself, already reaching for your phone. Your fingers hovered over the screen for a moment before you began typing, carefully constructing the message in your head. Every word had to be precise and believable.
You typed
Hi Evelyn, I got your number from Sadie! Just wanted to let you know Jake wanted to meet you near the second floor staircase this Saturday. He can't contact you since his phone is broken. Thanks.
You reread it once. Twice.
Perfect.
You hit send and a small, a satisfied breath left your lips as you leaned back slightly. You had enough information about jake to conclude the fact he barely checked his messages unless they were from his useless group of friends. Half the time, he didn't respond at all which meant there was almost no chance of him ruining your plan by accidentally answering Evelyn's question about his phone. Another advantage.
Everything was falling into place. You looked down at the screen again, your eyes immediately catching the small line beneath your message.
Read at 8:40 PM.
Your breath hitched slightly "Oh—" A quiet gasp slipped past your lips. That was quicker than expected and that worked in your favor too.
Jay rummaged through his desk, irritation evident in the way his fingers knocked against scattered items. His body felt like it was running on five blood cells like after nearly seven hours of continuous practice. His muscles ached, each movement reminding him just how far he had pushed himself. Jungwon’s voice from earlier still echoed faintly in his head— “What are you training so hard for?”
Good question.
He had never been this serious about basketball. He picked it up casually in his first year, mostly because of Jake and Sunghoon. It wasn’t like Decelis offered scholarships or financial support for sports anyway. So what exactly was he trying to prove?
He pulled open the second drawer of his cabinet, finally spotting the strip of painkillers tucked away beneath a mess of random trinkets and bills. Calloused fingers fumbled through them, pushing aside blister packs until he found the one he needed. And then his fingers touched something else.
A pair of hoop earrings.
He froze for a second, and just stared at them, unmoving.
The memory of that night crept in before he could stop it, the earrings...they kept getting caught in his shirt. He remembered how he had carelessly reached over, almost like an instinct and taken them off her while she was too lost in the afterglow.
Shit.
He didn’t even remember putting them or keeping them here. Jay's grip tightened slightly before he swallowed hard and pushed the drawer shut. He didn’t need them....did he?
His body fell back onto his bed, exhaustion finally catching up to him as he sank into the mattress.
“I hope you know how hard it was for Dad to pay your college tuition fees…”
Jongseong's voice echoed throughout his frontal lobe.
Of course. Park fucking Jongseong — the perfect twin. The ace. He always won, always succeeded, always made the right choices and was the only one their parents proudly spoke about. And Jay?Jay was just… Jay.
Average and impossibly stubborn. Never quite enough.
Getting into Decelis had been the only thing he had done right and now, even that felt heavy.
“Don’t do anything stupid that will tarnish our family name. I know you attract the wrong kind of people—”
“Ugh, enough,”
Jay muttered under his breath, head already hurting as he squeezed his eyes shut. He had always resented that brat. Jongseong's quiet superiority and that constant need to act like he knew better, like he was better, pissed him off on supersonic level.
People his age drank, partied, smoked, hooked up — Oh.
Right.
Jay exhaled shakily, dragging a hand over his face. No matter how much he wanted to forget it, he couldn’t. The memory of Jongseong's disappointed bitch face tangled with the image of his parent's inevitable hopeful expectations, clung to his bone like some kind of inherited disorder.
He really fell into the trap....didn't he?
“No way she followed you here.” Sunghoon’s voice dropped into a half-whisper as he nudged Jake’s arm, trying to pull his half assed attention away from the lecture. “What a crazy bitch,” he added under his breath. Jake didn’t respond immediately, instead his gaze shifted lazily toward where Sunghoon was pointing. Surprisingly he didn’t need to see your face to recognize you anymore. The small Kuromi charm hanging from your bag gave you away instantly, something he had noticed a few days ago when your presence had still felt…..coincidental?
Ugh. Nothing about you was never a coincidence to start with. You really were a bad omen for him.
Now? What is she trying to pull this time?
The rest of the class passed in a blur or maybe it just dragged, Jake couldn’t even tell anymore. His focus came and went, interrupted every now and then by the thought of you standing right outside.
Sunghoon, on the other hand, didn’t shut up and went on eating his eardrums, rambling about some stalking incident that ended up in murder few blocks away. Jake barely registered his words.
Murder? Uh oh...He didn’t think you had murder in your eyes. Whatever you were up to was far worse. Probably something that involved trapping him, torturing him, and dissolving his body afterward.
He shivered.
Outside, your patience was wearing thin.
“What the hell is he doing in there for so long?” you muttered, stomping your foot lightly against the ground as you tried to swat away a mosquitoes. You pressed your lips together and chewed on the inside of your cheek, irritation building with every passing second.
You had been waiting for this for an entire week. Planning, adjusting, calculating every move. There was no way you were letting this opportunity slip now.
The classroom door finally opened as students began spilling out one by one, voices overlapping, footsteps echoing down the corridor. And then Jake walked out last, his expression as blank and unbothered as ever, limbs moving in an excruciatingly painful speed. Sunghoon slipped away the moment he saw you, muttering something “I’m not getting involved in this mess.”
Before Jake could follow Sunghoon, you stepped forward. Blocking his path.
“Hi, Jake.”
He stopped, eyes flickering over your shoulder, then behind him, pretending to check if you were talking to someone else. Finally, he pointed at himself.
Ugh. Can he just die? His stupidly handsome — wait no, 'questionable' face remained unreadable as you crossed your arms, trying your best not to let your inner thoughts show “Evelyn wants to meet you.”
Jake stared at you for a second then let out a sharp breath, “do you think I’m some airhead running on low brain cells? At least come up with something new. How am I supposed to believe you after you fucking trapped me inside the sports room?”
You inhaled slowly “It’s okay if you don’t want to believe me,” you said, voice deliberately calm. “But she really did ask me to tell you she’ll be near the second-floor staircase.” You shrugged lightly, and then continued again “I mean…..you can ignore it. Totally up to you, just don’t get mad when Sadie starts her usual whining about you ditching Evelyn again.”
Jake exhaled, dragging a hand through his hair as he looked away. You weren’t entirely wrong. Sadie had been relentless ever since the museum incident, spamming him and trying to set him up with Evelyn for another date. And if what you were saying was true....he might need to shove a pencil up his ear, infact he could already hear her high pitched endless nagging.
God, no.
His gaze shifted back slow to you as he looked you over — braided hair, down to your hands… nails painted brown, slightly chipped at the edges.
His eyes moving shamelessly up and down your body made you flustered as you took a small step back, suddenly aware of just how openly he was checking you out. Jake clicked his tongue then, without another word said “let’s go.”
Bingo! You have him exactly where you wanted.
The walk to the second floor staircase was the most dreadful thing you experienced beside that one time in high school when you snuck out to meet your ex boyfriend at 2 am.
You took slow, steady breaths, trying to calm yourself. It’s okay… I am not the one getting into trouble today. Yet, despite telling yourself that, your eyes kept drifting back to Jake. Again and again. You didn’t want to look — fuck — but you couldn’t stop. He walked beside you with that same stoic expression, completely unaffected.
Wasn’t he even a little excited about meeting Evelyn?
Then again… why would he be? This was Jake, the guy who changed girls like onion skins. You clicked your tongue internally, forcing your gaze forward.
The staircase finally came into view, the stage where everything was supposed to unfold. It was tucked away, hidden from the usual corridor crowd, a place most students didn’t even notice.
Perfect....it won't be even that big of a drama —
Or at least...thats what you prayed for.
Before you or Jake could even step closer a figure came running out of nowhere. You barely had time to react before you were shoved aside, stumbling back as the person launched himself straight at Jake.
“Baby, I missed you so much!”
Your eyes widened.
Students lingering nearby turned instantly, attention snapping toward the scene unfolding in front of them.
Wait what? What the fuck?
Your brain scrambled to process what you were seeing. What is he doing here?! He wasn’t supposed to do this yet!
Jake, clearly caught off guard, stiffened as the almost 6ft figure clung to him.
“Okay what in the flying fuc—man, who are you?!” he snapped, trying to push him away, his voice filled with confusion and irritation. You stood there, frozen, mentally clutching your nonexistent pearls.
Oh no.
No, no, no.
This was going to go so wrong.
You had known Lee Heeseung since your very first day at Decelis. He had been…well kinda impossible to miss. You still remembered walking into your first lecture, only to see him sitting there all bruised and battered, yet completely unbothered. You could hell he was an anomaly. It didn’t take long for you to learn that Heeseung was a scholarship student — and a very highly respected one, personally recommended by his high school principal.
Professors seemed to favor him, though he never abused that advantage. Well… not openly, at least. Then there was his boxing gig which explained the occasional bruises, the late entries into class, and being absent for weeks.
But what truly stood out was how helpful he was. The projector stopped working? Heeseung would fix it. Someone's grandma died and they missed classes? Heeseung would send them notes without being asked. Breakups, academic stress, random life crises, he was always there, somehow involved in solving everyone’s problems like random side quests.
So when the idea of taking Jake Sim down first crossed your mind mid semester, there was only one person you could think of being part of your crazy plan...Lee Heeseung. The only problem? He was barely ever in class. And even when he was, he left the moment lectures ended, unless someone stopped him first.
But luck, for once, was on your side.
The day after you texted Evelyn, you spotted him in class sitting in the back. Focused on his Nintendo Switch.
You hesitated for a moment before approaching him “I… have a little favor to ask…”
Your voice came out softer than intended, almost swallowed by the quiet hum of the room. Heeseung looked up slowly, his face half-hidden behind a mask and hoodie. Only his large, curious eyes were visible as they settled on you.
You realized he was waiting for you to continue so you stepped closer.
And explained everything. EVERYTHING.
By the time you finished, he had put his switch aside, sitting up straighter.
“So…” you hesitated, fidgeting with the hem of your shirt. “Will you help me?”
Heeseung studied your face for a moment, then a quiet, breathy laugh escaped him “sure,” he said casually. “But what do I get?”
You gaped.
What exactly could you offer someone like him?
You scratched your head, genuinely thinking and then your face lit up. Rummaging through your bag, you pulled something out before holding it toward him with a hopeful expression.
A strawberry band-Aid set.
“This could help a lot,” you said earnestly. For a second Heeseung just stared at it. Then he laughed again, this time louder. He gave you a thumbs up.
“Consider your work done, baby.”
# 3 payback
“How can you be so heartless? Oh my god…” Heeseung’s doe eyes and exaggerated pout would have been almost comedic if not for the absolute horror etched across Jake’s face. You glanced around nervously. People were gathering. Of course they were!
A few curious students had already slowed down, whispers spreading as more heads turned toward the scene. Within seconds, a small crowd had formed, drawn in by the tension like moths to a flame.
“Me?! Heartless?” Jake groaned, finally managing to shove Heeseung away. “I don’t even know you!” Heeseung staggered back slightly before casually running a hand through his hair, “Really?” he scoffed, tilting his head. “Then why were you ignoring my texts?”
Holy shit. You stared at him, stunned. Lee Heeseung had exceeded your expectations. Was he secretly a theatre kid or something? Why was he so good at this?
Before you could even process it, Heeseung’s head snapped in your direction, his expression shifting dramatically “was it her?!” he accused, pointing straight at you “you’ve been ignoring me for her?!”
You had to bite down hard on the inside of your cheek to stop yourself from laughing but then you followed his gaze and turned back.
Oh shit.
Evelyn stood there, right behind you. Her expression a mix of disbelief, and something dangerously close to heartbreak.
“What?!” Jake’s voice rose again, panic slipping into it now. “I don’t even check texts from people I know!” He took a breath, trying to steady himself “look, I think you’ve got the wrong guy—”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Heeseung cut in smoothly, his tone suddenly serious “after you told me you were still confused about us… that you wanted to experience a few more ‘dates’ before settling down?” The final blow.
A sharp, collective gasp rippled through the crowd. Somewhere behind you Sadie shrieked. Your eyes darted back to Evelyn, her face had gone pale.
Oh my god.
Jake let out a disbelieving scoff “first of all, get your script right—I don’t even swing that way!”
Heeseung stepped closer again, gripping his shoulder lightly “you weren’t saying that last week after you came back from your museum event and told me how boring it wa—”
Smack.
The sound echoed through the corridor. Evelyn’s hand had already fallen back to her side, her chest rising and falling rapidly as Jake stood frozen, a red handprint blooming across his cheek.
For a moment everything went silent. Then Heeseung let out a small yelp, stepping back immediately. “Oh wow… I’m dipping,” he muttered, already retreating into the crowd. He threw you a quick wink before disappearing completely.
Wait—What?! Just like that?
“You could have told me if you didn’t like me in the first place!” Evelyn’s voice cracked, rising higher with every word. Jake blinked, still processing. “Look, Evelyn, I—”
She stepped back, shaking her head.
“Ahhhhh, so the campus fuckboy is actually a closeted gay who refuses to commit to any woman so he can keep his secret male concubines” Sadie, of course pushed her way to the front, her voice loud enough for everyone to hear “Guys!” she called out to the crowd still waiting for another climax “have you ever seen Jake Sim publicly showing affection to anyone?!”
Whispers spread instantly.
Agreement, disagreeing, mixed up speculation with judgment of course.
Jake stood there, jaw tightening as he took a slow, controlled breath. He was done. So fucking done.
All he had wanted was a quiet break. Maybe grab something to eat. Maybe scroll through Riki’s messages and laugh at whatever tung tung tung sahur nonsense his brother was up to.
Evelyn’s quiet sniffles broke through the noise “I should’ve known…” she whispered, her voice trembling “There were other people… how did I not see this coming…?” Sadie immediately jumped back in “Exactly, Evelyn! How many more wom—oops, actually, how many more people are there, Jake? Huh? Your reputation exists for a rea—”
Enough.
Something in him snapped.
Your body reacted before your mind could catch up. Legs told you to move, to leave, to get the fuck away and disappear before this spiraled even further out of control. But you couldn't.
Jake’s eyes found yours and something about the way he looked at you made your stomach churn. Wait…Why was he looking at you like that? Before you could think, he started walking toward you. Fast and long strides.
Oh no no no no — You turned, trying to slip into the crowd, but you couldn’t make it more than a step as his hand caught your forearm firnly. You yelped as he pulled you back, turning you to face him.
“I am not gay,” he said sharply, looking at Evelyn and Sadie “And I don’t know whatever the fuck that was.”
Your brain scrambled to catch up.
“But I sure as hell have something going on with her.”
“What—wait—”
You didn’t even get the chance to protest because in the next second, He pulled you in close. His frame towering over yours, overwhelming and leaving you no space to think, no space to breathe and then — His lips pressed against yours.
The bulb above your mind short circuited.
Gasps rippled through the crowd as Evelyn and Sadie screamed at the same time. Your legs felt like jelly. Mind completely blank. All you could register was the warmth of Jake’s lips against yours, and the way everything around you seemed to blur into nothing.
Wahhh....is that....the pearly gates of heaven—
And just as suddenly as it began he pulled away. There was a faint, almost smug smile playing on his lips.
A look of victory it is.
He got you at last.
“You bitch!” Sadie’s voice cut through the moment. She stormed toward you, her hand already raised, ready to strike, but Jake was way faster. He stood between you and Sadie, body shielding your figure as his hand shot out gripping her wrist mid air before it could make contact.
“Be careful.”
His voice was cold. Not raised. Enough to make Sadie freeze. Then she yanked her hand back, jaw clenched tightly, eyes burning with fury. Without another word, she grabbed Evelyn’s hand “Let’s go, Eve. Both of them are shit faced.”
Evelyn didn’t argue or look back. The two of them disappeared into the thinning crowd, whispers trailing behind them as people slowly lost interest and drifted away.
And then the inevitable silence fell. Just you, Jake and your trembling lips. Your heart was racing so fast it hurt. You barely noticed the way he turned toward you again until you instinctively stepped back. Once....twice until your back hit the cold railing behind you.
No escape zone.
Your breath hitched as Jake stepped closer. Too close.
Before you could react, his hand came up, gripping your jaw firmly, forcing you to look at him. Your breath stuttered and for a second, everything slowed.
His face was right there. His eyes—Wait. Had his eyes always looked like that? So… attractive —Shit, the HELL were you thinking?
“I hope you enjoyed that kiss,” he said, voice mocking you.
Your chest tightened slowly “And now,” he continued, his grip loosening just slightly but not enough to let you pull away, “you’re going to do everything I tell you.” Your stomach dropped.
“Otherwise…” He paused and that smirk returned.
“…the cctv footage of you locking me in the sports office won’t take long to reach your dean.”
Your eyes widened. Fuck. What ?!
Before you could even process it, he let go. Just like that and adjusted his bag over his shoulder, completely unbothered, then walked past you without a second glance.
Leaving you there, utterly screwed.
“Can we talk?”
Jay’s hand paused, his pen hovering over the notebook as he looked up, eyes widening slightly when he saw Chaerin standing in front of him, her expression unreadable. The library was packed, students hunched over books and laptops, trying to squeeze in whatever they could before finals.
He inhaled slowly. So this was it.
After weeks of avoiding her, ducking calls, changing routes, pretending not to notice, he had finally been cornered.
“i guess,” he muttered, though it sounded more like surrender than agreement.
Chaerin pulled out the chair across from him and sat down. For a moment, she said nothing, her fingers resting on the edge of the table as if she was trying to steady herself “see…” she began, “I wasn’t aware of your… fuck and leave rule”
Jay’s jaw tightened slightly.
“And I know I’m probably being annoying as hell,” she continued, fidgeting with her fingers, “but….I thought—I thought maybe...we had something. You talked about your family… your brother—I mean I'm not complaining!—it's just–”
“I do that with everyone” his voice cut through her words, firm and unwavering. Chaerin stilled.
“And you weren’t the first girl to sympathize with me,” he added, not looking away. “Everyone I’ve had ‘something’ with had the same reaction.”
Something.
So that’s what she was to him. Just another 'something'.
“Jay, I—” she hesitated, adjusting her glasses again as they slipped down her nose. “I like you. A lot. And it’s okay if you don’t feel the same. I don’t want to force anything…” The slight tremble in her voice was audible, “...I was just wondering… why did you stop talking to me? We were fine before that party, right?”
“I fuck and leave. Just as you said” his words landed bluntly.
Chaerin went quiet. An “oh” escaped her mouth sounding barely above a whisper.
“So… all this time…” she murmured, her gaze dropping to the table, “you just wanted to leave? Even before we…?”Jay’s fingers twitched under the desk. He opened his mouth but nothing came out. Did he want to leave? His thoughts betrayed him — memories flickering through his mind. The lectures where she sat beside him, talking endlessly, distracting him in ways he never admitted he liked. The days she made him laugh when he felt suffocated by everything at home.
His silence stretched too long as Chaerin took it as her answer.
She stood up abruptly, the chair scraping softly against the floor “s–sorry for wasting your time, I guess…”
Move. Say something. Don’t just sit there stubbornly. His brother’s voice echoed in his head, mocking him.
But Jay couldn't move. His body felt heavy, rooted in place. Chaerin inhaled shakily “I really liked you, Jay,” she said, her voice steadier now, even if her hands weren’t “I’m sorry I was so blinded by it… I forgot to ask what you felt about me”
Liked. Did she not like him anymore? Was he really that easy to walk away from?
Chaerin didn’t wait for an answer this time before turning around and walking out of his sight.
You bit your nails relentlessly, eyes scanning the same line in your book for what felt like the hundredth time and yet not a single word registered. Everything was slipping out of your brain. What the hell had just happened? Why would Jake do that? And worse — What was going to happen now?!
You groaned, grabbing your pillow and pressing your face into it before letting out a loud, muffled scream “It’s my fault—it’s my fault, ughhhhh! Why didn’t I think about the cctv?!” you whined into the fabric, your voice coming out distorted. This had gone so utterly out of control. Nothing—nothing—had gone according to plan and on top of that, Heeseung’s useless entrance at the worst possible time, followed by his equally useless disappearance, had left you even more irritated.
You flopped onto your back, staring at the ceiling before your eyes drifted toward your phone lying lifeless beside you. Switched off.
You hadn’t dared to turn it on since morning knowing notifications would be flooded, messages, missed calls, blah blah and at least half of them would be from Sadie, probably cursing you, your ancestors, and your entire bloodline and perform some sacrificial ritual.
You groaned again, throwing an arm over your eyes.
A sudden knock on your door snapped you upright.
Your heart jumped into your throat. Oh shit.
Did Sadie come to kill you? No, no, no—this is too early—another knock came, louder this time. Fuck. She’s going to murder you.
Your palms grew sweaty as you slowly got off the bed, taking cautious steps toward the door. Each step felt heavier than the last. The knocking grew impatient. You gasped softly, grip tightening around the doorknob. Okay. This is it. You twisted the lock and pulled the door open —
Chaerin!
Relief flooded through you so fast your knees almost gave out.
“Ooouf—thank god…”
You stood there for a moment, just staring at her, trying to gather the right words.
“Jake kissed me.”
“I finally talked to Jay—wait, WHAT??”
crickets....
Your eyes widened as Chaerin stepped inside, quickly locking the door behind her “what the fuck do you mean Jake kissed you?!” she gripped her hair, pacing the room. “I’m going to commit arson on that bitch oh my god!”
Your mind went completely blank as you tried to process everything at once.
Wait....why was Chaerin so furious at Jake? Wasn’t she… heartbroken over him? And — Why did she say she talked to Ja..…y.
Oh.
Oh.
Wait.....wait a damn second.
“y/n, answer me!” Chaerin shoved you lightly, her eyes blazing. “What in the world happened?!”
You swallowed hard, your throat suddenly dry “C-Chae…” you stammered, “who was the person you said you slept with at last month’s party…?” Chaerin groaned in frustration “Ugh, I told you—it was Jay! But that’s not important right now, first of all—”
Her voice started fading into the background as your slow ass brain finally caught up. You felt your legs giving up as you sank onto the mattress, hands coming up to clutch your head.
Jay. Not Jake.
Chaerin was hung up on Jay, not Jake.
Your dumbahh confused both the J’s and in the process you had created an absolute disaster. A soft gasp escaped your lips as the realization hit you fully. Oh my god. All this time…Everything you planned…every move you made, instead of helping Chaerin you were just embarrassing yourself.
“Helloooo??? Earth to y/n? Are you even listening?” Chaerin’s voice cut through your spiraling thoughts, laced with concern. You looked up at her slowly, your expression somewhere between horror and disbelief “Chae…” you said weakly, running a hand through your hair
“I think I might’ve done some irreversible damage…”
Getting into Decelis was something you had always been proud of. Being a scholarship student, getting the chance to major in architecture, the one thing you had dreamed of throughout your teenage years was more than enough. It was everything you had worked for and yet now you found yourself counting down the days to graduation. Or worse. To drop out without telling anyone. More importantly There was no one to blame but yourself.
You knew that.
You had spent the entire afternoon explaining Chaerin the absolute mess you had created, while looking up “painless kms methods” on your browser, only to slam your laptop shut seconds later.
“Y/n… I fear even I can’t get you out of this situation…”
Chaerin’s helpless voice echoed in your mind, and your chest tightened as another wave of emotion hit you. You let out a broken cry what, the fifth time today? You had lost count.
Now, sitting in front of your laptop again as the screen glowed harshly in the dim room, feeling less like a device and more like some kind of execution platform, your eyes remained fixed on a single message that came just a few seconds ago from an unknown number. Or at least you pretended it was unknown and you definietly didn’t recognize who it could be.
Anything to convince yourself this wasn’t real.
— Boys’ dormitory, third floor, room number 15. Come within five minutes.
Your gaze slowly shifted toward the digital clock on the wall.
1:00 a.m.
A dry laugh escaped your lips. Right.....What business could someone from the boys’ dorm possibly have with you at this hour? Hahaha…Such a silly prank.…ha.…ha....ha....
The silence that followed felt unbearable. You exhaled shakily, dragging a hand down your face. Yeah no.
This wasn’t a prank anymore. Which meant you had no choice but to go. Because if you didn’t — The next message you might receive would be directly from the dean’s office.
The trip to the boys’ dormitory felt like you were willingly walking straight into hell. Surprisingly, getting past the guards wasn’t difficult as they were sound asleep, completely unaware of your existence. Soon enough you found yourself standing in front of the door, with a metal batch of the number '15' on it.
You rubbed your sweaty palms against your jeans and lifted your hand, about to knock.
The door swung open.
Jake stood there, fresh out of the shower, his hair still wet, blonde strands clinging to his forehead. You could practically see the faint steam rising from his skin. The scent of his shampoo or body wash hit you instantly, clean and sharp, making your head feel oddly light.
“Oh?” he raised a brow. “Right on time. I was just about to notify your dean.”
The smugness in his voice made you want to turn back and leave. Before you could respond, his eyes flicked left and right down the hallway. Without any warning he grabbed your elbow and yanked you inside.
The door shut behind you with a click.
Your brain immediately fogged. Is he going to kill me? Or not? Every alarm bell in your head went off as you stood frozen for a second before forcing yourself to follow him further inside.
You had never been inside the boys’ dormitory before. Well—obviously you had never had a reason to. But everything you had heard was true. The space was bigger, more open compared to the girls’ dorms. Instead of separate rooms, a few boys shared one large living area with individual bedrooms branching off. You followed Jake through the common space, your eyes scanning everything instinctively. Unwashed dishes piled up in the sink. A gaming controller lay abandoned on the floor “Shit—” you muttered under your breath, almost tripping over it, catching your balance just in time.
You passed by three other closed doors, assuming they belonged to his friends, before finally reaching his room. Jake stepped in first, then you. And the door shut behind you again.
This is it. He’s going to kill you and put up your kidneys for friday sale. You stood awkwardly near the entrance as he nudged a gaming chair toward you with his foot. The wheels rolled softly until they bumped against your legs.
“Sit.”
You couldn't.
Meanwhile, Jake casually dropped onto his bed, completely at ease, “sooo…” he dragged out, resting back on his hands. “What should we do with you, miss...?”
"y/n..." you answered then swallowed, fingers fidgeting nervously as your gaze wandered everywhere except his face. His room was annoyingly spotless.
“okayy let’s start from the beginning,” his tone shifted slightly. “and clear our bad blood.”
You could feel his eyes on you, waiting. You took a deep breath. Whatever happens, happens. “See… I’m sorry,” you began “I mistook you for someone else and—and I didn’t realize it until I—”
He huffed, cutting you off “I’m not an idiot, y/n...I knew you mistook me for someone else the moment you locked me in the sports office,” Jake clicked his tongue, leaning back on one elbow. His gaze dragged over you again in that same shameless way.
“I just didn’t realize you’d be bold enough to drag it out this long.”
You wanted to disappear. This was so humiliating that you briefly considered jumping out of the third floor window.
“Now that the damage is done,” he continued casually, “let’s discuss what happens next.”
Your head snapped up. “Next?”
There’s a next?!
Jake stood up and walked towards you. Your body instinctively stepped back until your legs hit the gaming chair behind you, causing you to fall right into it with a soft thud.
“You,” he pointed at you, “are going to act like my girlfriend.”
Your brain stopped functioning.
“As long as I say,” he added. “And we—yes, WE—are going to make Evelyn jealous until she comes back to me.”
Your head spun. This can't be real.
“And everything in this relationship, will go according to my rules. My conditions.”
You opened your mouth, but nothing came out.
“Unless,” he added smoothly, “you decide you don’t want to do this and also don’t want to graduate with a proper degree.” Your stomach dropped “I can always send that footage to the dean—”
“No!” you blurted out, shooting up from the chair. “I—I’ll do it!”
Silence followed. Jake studied your face carefully, his eyes scanning for hesitation, doubt, anything that suggested you might back out. After a moment, a satisfied smile spread across his face.
“Good—savor the moment while it lasts”
Lying on your bed, you traced random patterns over your bedsheet, fingers moving absentmindedly as your mind refused to settle. Sleep was nowhere to be found. Your brain felt heavy as hell as your eyes flickered toward the digital clock.
4:00 a.m.
Another sleepless night. Another hellish week. And, of course — another hellish fake boyfriend who made sure you regretted every second of taking admission in Decelis. It had been almost two weeks since Jake “proposed”– no, forced this whole pretend relationship onto you, all for the sake of making his darling jealous. At this point, you were convinced it wasn’t even about her anymore. It felt personal grudge against your entire bloodline.
You groaned, rolling onto your side. Well, technically...it was personal.
Going to college had turned into a daily humiliation ritual. No matter where you went, lecture halls, corridors, cafeteria, Jake was there, reminding you of what an absolute joke your life had become. And the college? Oh, they were having the time of their lives. The forum buzzed nonstop with rumors about you being Jake’s new babe. Your classmates flocked around you like flies, throwing questions left and right from how does Jake wipe his ass to what the hell did he even see in you?
Disrespectful as fuck.
You had been avoiding the engineering building entirely, convinced Sadie might have already hired an assassin to take you out. You shivered, fingers brushing over a spot on your neck absentmindedly.
“Girl… I think you need to see a doctor,” Jurin sighed, grabbing your hand in concern.
“This could be an early symptom of cancer, who knows,” Chisa added still munching on a drumstick, earning dead glares from both Chaerin and Jurin. You huffed.
Honestly, being hospitalized didn’t sound that bad right now. At least Jake wouldn’t be able to drag you around.
“…So,” Chisa spoke again, completely unfazed, “how is Jake as a boyfriend?”
You groaned loudly, dropping your head back. The worst. Absolutely the worst.
He would call you at the most ungodly hours, 3 p.m., 3 a.m., it didn’t matter, interrupting whatever you were doing just to summon you to his room. For what? To turn on his computer. To clean his desk. Which, by the way, was already clean most of the time. Being Jake’s girlfriend—no, fake girlfriend felt like a full time ragebait experiment. And yet you thought, would he treat you better if you were his actual girlfriend?
What the fuck? No. Absolutely not.
Why were you even thinking that? Who in their right mind would want to be his girlfriend?
He was just an asshole with a good face. That’s it.…Okay, fine. Maybe a very good face.
You squeezed your eyes shut, annoyed at yourself and your eyes which unfortunately worked. Which meant you noticed stuffs. Like the way he looked on the basketball court, focused, sharp, effortlessly attractive.
Or the times you’d find him in his room, sitting casually and completely absorbed in his phone as you sneaked glances while cleaning his basketball tournament trophies.
Or the way he walked just ahead of you in the corridor, his tall frame practically swallowing your smaller one.
You exhaled deeply. This was getting bad. Very bad.
“Oh my god… she’s lost in the exclusive Jake sauce,” Chisa whispered and Chaerin smacked her arm instantly.
# 4 fatal trouble
“Are you purposely ignoring me or what?” Jake’s annoyed voice snapped you back to reality. You crossed your arms, already irritated by the heat and by him. His furrowed brows weren’t helping either. Why the fuck does he looks so attractive with an ugly expression like that the FUCK????
He had called you multiple times until you were forced to pick up in the middle of a lecture, no less which earned you a scolding from Professor Min in front of the entire class.
“I’m not,” you replied shortly, your tone flat. You knew if you said anything more, you might actually punch him. Jake didn’t bother arguing, instead, he tossed his bag at you. Which you caught it out of reflex, immediately sliding it over your shoulder.
God....did he carry bricks in this thing?
“Let’s go,” he said, already turning away. “We have somewhere to be.”
Which is how you found yourself stuck in some godforsaken café, whose interior design alone announced that they sold tasteless stuffs at horrible overpriced rates. Girls sat all around, looking as pretty as ever in their cute tank tops, skirts, jeans, and frilly bow clips, honestly, the only thing making the place somewhat bearable even though, you were still judging hard the questionable boyfriends they had brought along.
Evelyn and Sadie were seated near the window, surrounded by their friend group. Yunjin...ahyeon...daniel...You recognized a few familiar faces from the mechanical engineering department.
You weren’t sure if they had noticed you yet — or were just choosing to ignore you, but Evelyn had definitely noticed Jake who was sitting right across from you. His back faced her, hiding you perfectly from their line of sight.
Jake slid the menu toward you and you shook your head
“not hungry.”
He rolled his eyes “then pretend you are. Don’t embarrass me anymore in public, don’t you think once was enough?”
You screamed internally and flipped open the menu anyway.
What the fuck. 23 dollars for a frappuccino???You immediately snapped the menu shut.
that amount of money could feed you for days... there was no way you were ordering—
“uhhhh, two frappuccinos....and extra whipped cream on both.”
You froze.
Jake had already placed the order, completely uncaring of your internal crisis as you stared at him, mouth slightly open.
Is this it? Is this the part of fake dating where they pay for your food? I mean… not that you were complaining—
“Close your mouth, dimwit. You really do love attention,” he muttered causing your cheeks to hit up as you quickly looked away “whatever”
this was nothing like what you had imagined?? First of all, how the hell was sipping overpriced coffee with Jake supposed to make Evelyn jealous? Did he even have a plan? At this rate, you’d be fifty by the time anything happened, probably with heart problems from stress.
You hummed a random tune under your breath, absentmindedly playing with your straw, trying to distract yourself.
Your eyes drifted toward Jake out of habit. He was scrolling through his phone, as usual, a faint smile tugging at his lips.
You swallowed, the sweetness of the frappuccino did nothing to calm the sudden goosebumps on your skin. Why did he kiss me that day? Ugh… it’s his fault I can’t fucking look away from his lips the FUCK?
At the table beside you, some guy was making weird faces and feeding his girlfriend, and you couldn’t help but cringe. Wasn’t Jake supposed to be doing stuff like that to make Evelyn jealous? Whatever. Not your problem anyway—
You gasped slightly as Jake suddenly stood up and dragged his chair right beside yours, drawing a bit of attention,
including from Evelyn’s table.
You kept your head down, pretending to focus on your drink. Should you say something? Do something? This was so confusing. Minutes passed and you sensed Evelyn and her group getting closer, the clique clack of their heels on the hard wood floor, echoing through, you relaxed when she didn’t even spare you a glance and started heading toward the exit. Thank go—
Suddenly Jake’s hand moved from his cup to your left thigh, gripping it without hesitation. He squeezed lightly, too close to the hem of your skirt, his fingers brushing dangerously near your inner thigh.
“Eek!” you yelped, startled.
The sound drew immediate attention including Evelyn who turned and her eyes locked onto your flustered expression then they slowly travelled to Jake’s arm resting casually under the table, and his hand still wrapped around your thigh.
Shit shit shit.
Sadie wasted no time and grabbed her arm, pulling her away to the exit. The rest of the girls threw you strange, judging looks before following her out. Silence fell over your table. You could hear your own heart pounding violently in your chest.
The warmth around your thigh was gone the moment Evelyn walked out of sight. You sat there, heartbeat in your throat, and sweating crazy underneath the air conditioning machine. “Bill, please,” Jake called casually, handing his card to the waiter. “For one frappuccino.” Wait—what? You grabbed his shoulder, eyes wide. “What about me?!” He glanced at you, dragging his gaze up and down before shrugging. “I don’t know. I asked what you wanted—you couldn’t decide, so I ordered the same for both of us. Doesn’t mean I’m paying for both.”
You stared at him in disbelief. This was getting SO ridiculous. You quickly fumbled through your bag looking for your purse and shoved some crumpled notes into his hand before standing up and storming out.
God you just wanted to die.
Jake had officially pushed you to the point where you discovered strands of grey hairs growing from your roots. “Ouch!” you winced as Chaerin tugged at one absentmindedly. “Girl… trust me, no one cares. Damn, this one’s stubborn.” You bit your lower lip, trying to ignore the sting. “I care! What if people think I’m some kind of weirdo grandma going after a college guy?!”
Chaerin rolled her eyes. “You trapped yourself, at the end of the day.” You shot her a glare “I did everything for you, and this is how you repay me?!”
All she did was sigh “my dumb, pretty y/n… maybe if you had listened to me carefully NONE OF THIS WOULD’VE HAPPENED!”
You pouted. “Yeah, yeah. Everyone hates me, I get it.”
Between Jake and your coursework, the pressure of getting bullied by both was becoming unbearable. You let out what felt like your hundredth groan of the week. “Can this just end, god…”
Thud!
A basketball smacked straight into your head. “Ow!” you yelped looking up instantly, Jake stood there, amusement written all over his face “stop thinking so hard, dimwit. Take life easy,” he said, giggled and you swore you wanted to break his face.
Grabbing the ball, you threw it back at him with full force. “Suck it, Jackass.”
He caught it effortlessly, raising a brow. “Oh? Making progress, huh?” You stood up, brushing dirt off your jeans. Enough. It had already been over two hours. Jake had dragged you here because apparently Evelyn was supposed to watch the practice for new cheerleading recruits, but neither she nor any cheerleaders had shown up. Instead, you had been stuck watching him practice alone and getting harassed relentlessly.
He tossed the ball at you again but this time you caught it cleanly. And somehow that turned into a full blown game back and forth. Again and again. You hadn’t played basketball seriously since high school, but with Jake, everything felt different. Competitive and definitely Intense. No way you were leting him get out of the court without smashing his nuts with that ball–wait that's sounds weird but anyways.
It went on until both of you were completely out of breath. Jake finally dropped to the floor, legs stretched out, chest rising and falling rapidly. You laughed breathlessly. “Wha....t? Tired already?” He rolled his eyes “look at yourself first”
You both fell into a quiet pause, just staring at each other. And suddenly that same awkward, flustered feeling crept back in. “M-my dorm has a curfew today… I need to go,” you muttered, mostly to yourself, but loud enough for him to hear and started stomping towards the exit ready to leave. But before you could your foot caught on his stretched out legs.
“Ah—!” gravity pulled you down without giving you the chance to realise what just happened as a pair of strong arms caught you perfectly, landing right on top of him.
Your brain short circuited. From this close, he looked… unfair. His eyes slightly hooded, face flushed from exertion, and breath warm against your skin. You didn’t even notice the sweat trailing down your neck, hair just a mess and fingers tightly clutching his shirt. All you could focus on was him. Fuck, fuck, fuck. His gaze locked onto yours then slowly dropped to your lips. Your felt your heart skipping a beat. And before you could think you leaned in. Just a little closer, just this one time, jusssstt this once — Jake’s hand shot up, gripping your jaw, stopping you instantly.
Oh.
The doors burst opened and instantly gasps and low whistles filled the court.
Reality doubled down back into you. You scrambled off him immediately, heart racing, refusing to meet his eyes. Your gaze landed on the group that had just walked in.
The cheerleading team.
And right in the center — Evelyn.
Her glare was unpleasant. Great....just great. Sunghoon and Jay, who had come along, ran up to Jake, laughing about something you couldn’t even process. Jake, however, stayed seated, his expression unreadable. You didn’t wait another second. Grabbing your bag, you turned and stormed out.
“Oh my god… oh my god, fuckkkkkk fuckkkkk what was I thinking?” You smacked your cheeks repeatedly, staring at your reflection in the bathroom mirror. The girl staring back looked just as frustrated and flustered. Cupping your face you tried to sum up what the fuck was going on “y/n, get it together ugh!”
There were levels to your breakdown, and you were currently crossing every single one of them.
The image of jake being breathless and his warm breath against your face replayed again. His half lidded eyes drifting from yours to your lips.
Nope.
You turned the shower on. This couldn’t be happening rn. What the hell was his problem?No, more importantly, why did you lean in to kiss—“No! The fuck—never!” you shouted, trying to convince yourself as your fingers brushed over your lips, you nearly cried in frustration. Embarrassment seeped into your veins as you remembered his grip on your jaw, the only thing that had stopped you from completely humiliating yourself.
“Am I a slut?” you whispered, then let out a loud laugh. “Hell nah. How am I a slut for wanting to kiss my boy…friend…”
You trailed off. Oh... Right.
“Soooo… what was that?” Sunghoon grabbed Jake’s jaw, puckering his lips in an exaggerated kissy face “getting all lovey-dovey with your girl, aww—Fuck—AH!” he yelped when Jake kicked him under the table. “Can I eat my damn dinner in peace?” Jay muttered, already irritated by their dogfight since they returned. Sunghoon laughed, wiping the corners of his eyes. “Man… why are you even wasting your time on her?” He paused, then leaned forward “…no way. Don’t tell me you like her.”
Jake scoffed immediately “she isn’t even my type, the fuck? And how can I just let her walk away after the shit she pulled on me last month?” He crossed his arms, gaze drifting past Sunghoon toward the depressing white walls of their dorm “she pisses me off,” he added after a moment “in a good way. And I’m not letting her walk out until I get my satisfaction.”
Sunghoon leaned back, raising his hands in surrender. “Alrighttt. Do whatever you want—just don’t break the poor girl’s heart.” Jake ignored him, focusing back on his food.
Your next meeting with Jake wasn’t awkward for him. But for you? Oh you were a mess. You kept stammering, stumbling over your words, avoiding eye contact so obviously that even Jake noticed. “Are you sick?” he asked, casually licking his popsicle. You stared straight ahead, your mind screaming 'whatever you do, do not look at him'.
Your own popsicle had started melting in your hand within minutes.
Why was it suddenly so hot? And why did Jake even buy me one? He wasn’t that generous....was he?? Is he making fun of me rn? Oh god, he definitely is. I should just dig a hole and bury myself.
Jake sighed, clearly losing patience. He scooted closer, the bleacher suddenly feeling way too small as his thigh brushed against yours.
“N-no! I’m fine! I’m not sick!” you blurted out, forcing an overly bright smile. He grimaced “ew… what is that expression? I don’t believe you at all” before you could react, he leaned closer. His arms rested on the back of the bleacher, caging you in “hey…” he frowned slightly.
“Are you planning something behind my back again?”
His eyes locked onto yours, and you swore they were going to swallow you whole. You shook your head quickly. “…No.”
“No…?”
“No—”
Jake suddenly lifted his popsicle toward your mouth “lick.”
Your brain went blank. “What—no! I have my own—”
He pushed it closer anyway, smearing a bit of that melted cream at the corner of your lips. You froze instantly as his smug expression only made it worse. “Oops,” he muttered, mockingly. “So sorry, baby.” You felt your stomach flipping as a thumb came up, brushing against your lip to wipe the cream away — his rough fingertip lingered just a second too long. And then he brought that same thumb to his mouth. Licking it clean.
You heard faint shrieks from nearby girls, but they barely registered because your eyes had already caught something else.
Evelyn.
She was standing near a pillar, trying to hide, but her unmistakable stare gave it away.
Shit.
“I—I have class,” you rushed out, scrambling to your feet. “Evelyn saw us, I think my job here is done—” You backed away quickly when Jake tried to grab your wrist
“What—?” He turned, trying to spot Evelyn.
But by the time he looked back you were already gone.
What was happening? Why were you suddenly so nervous around Jake? He had always been the center of your rants and main topic of shit talking sessions between you and Chaerin. You had cursed him out more times than you could ever count. It wasn’t supposed to end up like this… right?
So what if he wasn’t the one who caused Chaerin’s breakdown? He was still an asshole for using you like this.
But then again… what you did to him wasn’t exactly justified either.
“Ugh…” you groaned softly, pressing your fingers to your temple. Everything was making your head spin.
“Good morning to Miss y/n? I hope you’re alright back there.” Professor Min’s voice snapped you out of your thoughts. You blinked, suddenly aware of the classroom and the number of students who had turned around to look at you.
“…what? Did Jake dump her already?”
Your jaw clenched. I can hear you, assholes.
As exam week approached, you prayed to every god you could think of that Jake would at least spare you. And surprisingly he did. He left you alone for the most part. There was no tortures except the occasional insulting text or sarcastic remark, nothing that actually disrupted your study schedule. There were only a few days left before your first exam, and Jake had practically gone MIA. By now, you knew he took his GPA seriously.
Not like you were missing him or anything.
“Why does the syllabus look longer now…? I swear it wasn’t this big before…” you muttered, flipping through your notes that looked like new discovery when you were so damn confident about your preparation.
“Whoa, easy, princess. You’re going to rip the book apart.”
You froze. That voice—You looked up and gasped “wha— It’s you!”
A few heads turned in annoyance, reminding you instantly that you were in the library. Oops. You mouthed a quick sorry before lowering your voice, eyes narrowing at the person who had just taken a seat beside you “Lee fucking Heeseung, what the hell…” you whispered. He covered his mouth, trying to suppress a laugh. “Why do you look like you’ve seen a ghost?”
“Well, that’s because you literally disappeared after that incident!” you whisper yelled, making him sigh. He casually rolled up his sleeves and started taking out his books. “I had stuff to do.”
He shot you a wink, and annoyingly you couldn’t help but find it a little cute. Okay, fine. It was hard to stay mad at him.
“Want me to help you out?” he asked, glancing at your open notebook. “I know this chapter.” Relief washed over you instantly. “Yes, please.”
“Wahhhh, that was so easy!” You stretched, letting out a satisfied yawn. Heeseung nodded “I told you it wasn’t that hard.”
You started packing your bag while he slowly gathered his things as well. Then you paused. “Wait… aren’t you going to study? All you did was explain everything to my slow brain.”
He shrugged casually. “I studied too—in the process.” You nodded, slinging your bag over your shoulder. “Then… see you, I guess. Good luck!” you said, giving him a thumbs up. But before you could walk away, he grabbed your bag strap, stopping you in your tracks “and what do I get for tutoring you?”
You chuckled, already reaching into your pocket, pulling out the same strawberry designed band-aid, you held it out to him. “Here. Restock your supplies.”
Heeseung burst into laughter as he took it from your hand. “Sure thing.”
Jake wasn’t replying to your texts. You stared at the last message you had sent him two days ago still sitting there, untouched. You scoffed. It wasn’t like you were worried or anything. Or maybe… you were. You sighed and started typing again.
You okay?|
ew that sounded way too concerned.
You quickly erased it and tried again.
Is our deal off?|
no...what if he sees that and decides to pull something even weirder during exam week?
You groaned softly, deleting the message once more before turning your phone off entirely. This felt…weird. Just a few days ago Jake’s texts felt like notifications of doom and despair. You hated them. So why did his silence feel worse?
You stared down at your nails. The half chipped nail polish you had been nervously chewing off looked as awful as ever. Should I get a manicure? But… Chaerin wasn’t free. Chisa and Jurin were probably busy too. So what? You could go alone. Why were you waiting for anyone?
Yeah a small reward. Maybe motivation for your exams.
The nail salon wasn’t too far from your dorm. The sharp smell of nail polish and acetone hit you the moment you pushed the glass door open and stepped inside. After explaining the design you wanted, you sank into the padded chair, finally allowing yourself to relax. For once, things felt calm and peaceful. But that peace didn’t last long because the moment you turned your head slightly — your stomach dropped. Fuck. Sadie.
She was sitting right next to you, getting her nails done, laughing at something her nail artist had said. And just as if fate wanted to ruin your day further her eyes landed on you. You cursed under your breath.“H-hi…” you forced out, offering a tight lipped smile. Her response was a scowl and the nastiest glare you had ever received.
Okayyyy. Let’s just pretend that never happen.
You turned your head away, sitting as stiff as possible for the rest of the session, painfully aware of her gaze burning into the side of your face. You were in the middle of getting your cuticles pushed back, trying to ignore everything, when suddenly her figure appeared behind your nail artist. Before you could react she shoved your nail artist, who stumbled forward. The metal tool scraped against your skin in a flash.
“Ouch!” you hissed, flinching as a sharp sting shot through your fingers.
“I’m so sorry! Oh my god, are you okay?” your nail artist immediately stepped back, panicked, turning toward the source of everything that just went down. Saddie shrugged. “Sorry, I didn’t see you.”
What a bitch.
“I-it’s okay,” you managed, even though the skin around your nail was already starting to bleed. So much for a peaceful evening.
Jake stared at his answer for a solid fifteen minutes, eyes wide and watery as he tried to figure out what the hell he had just written. With a frustrated sigh, he deleted the entire paragraph. A tissue was stuffed into one of his nostrils as he struggled to stay sane and not sneeze again. Running a fever while preparing for darn sem finals felt like a survival show.
A soft knock broke his concentration.
He let out an annoyed sound. “Sunghoon, I told you stop bothering me”
The door creaked open slightly and Sunghoon peeked in, his expression unusually concerned. “I swear the dean will forgive you for one bad paper,”
Jake huffed. “I don’t care.”
Sunghoon hesitated for a moment before adding, “Uh… someone’s here for you” and Jake frowned. “Who?”
Instead of answering, Sunghoon pushed the door open wider, revealing you. You were standing there, glancing around the living room while trying to process the caveman level lifestyle these boys were living in. Jake’s eyes widened and he shot up immediately, only for his legs to wobble as pain shot through his joints. You rushed forward instinctively, grabbing his arm just as Sunghoon stepped in to help. The two of you guided him back to the bed.
Sunghoon looked between you both, then shrugged. “I’ll leave you guys to it,” he muttered before walking out.
You finally turned your full attention to Jake.“Damn. You look like you’re dying.”
He chuckled weakly, blowing his nose. “Yeah? You’re not invited to the funeral, by the way. The food’s gonna be great.” You rolled your eyes. Even sick, he is unbearable ugh.
“Sooo…” he leaned back, a lazy, teasing smile forming on his lips. “Did you miss me?”
God, you regretted coming here.
You swallowed. “No?”
“That came out way too fast. That means you did miss me—ouch!” he winced when you kicked his foot. “Have some mercy on a sick man, damn.” You huffed and tossed the plastic bag you were holding onto his lap. Jake blinked, confused, before peeking inside.
“…Oranges?!”
You tried not to smile too proudly at the way his entire demeanor shifted. He had clearly been craving them. Well It’s not like you spent a whole night stalked his old Instagram highlights from 2017 and saw a 13 years old Jake in his post basketball tournament, holding a trophie and a big box of fresh oranges from his hometown in Brisbane.
You cleared your throat. “Uh… consider it payment for the p-popsicle.”
A faint blush crept onto your cheeks. Jake set the bag aside and began peeling one, his eyes never leaving yours “sure”
You couldn’t tell what he was thinking. Even sick, he looked annoyingly good. His flushed face, slightly watery eyes, and glossed lips from constantly licking them.
“Speaking of which…” he suddenly stood up making you instinctively stepped back. “Why did you run away like that...that day?”
“I did not!” you protested, flailing your hands, only for him to catch your arms mid motion. “Right…?” he tilted his head, a grin forming. “are you shy?” He laughed softly, and you immediately cursed yourself for stepping inside the lion's den.“I am not!” you snapped, your voice rising. His grip shifted from your forearms to your wrists, holding you in place as your back bumped against the edge of his study desk.
I need to run. I need to run RIGHT NOW.
Your screamed in your head but your body stayed rooted while jake continued with his snarky remarks. Suddenly the sharp edge of the desk pressed against your injured finger.
“Ow!” you yelped. Jake paused immediately letting your wrist go. “shit are you okay?”
You rubbed the spot, shaking your head. “Y-yeah, I’m fine don’t worry!”
But he had already grabbed your hand. His eyes dropped to the cut, still slightly bleeding even under the bandage.
“Jake, you don’t have to do this—I should go—stop—ouch! slowly asshole!”
Your protests faded as he ignored you completely, carefully applying medicine to the wound. You watched him quietly, his brows furrowed in concentration, his touch surprisingly gentle. And slowly… your chest warmed. Maybe…he wasn’t that bad. You bit your lip, trying to make sense of your thoughts. You would’ve done the same if he showed up hurt at your door, right? But then again, why would he ever come to you? He had plenty of other places to go.
He’d probably run back to Evelyn.
Your body stiffened. Why did that thought bother you? Wasn’t this the whole point from the beginning? There was nothing to feel upset about.
Jake Sim was just living up to his reputation. Your thoughts were cut short when he suddenly shoved a piece of orange into your mouth.
“Stop thinking too much.”
You blinked, chewing slowly. Your finger was now neatly cleaned and re-bandaged. Your gaze drifted back to Jake who had already settled comfortably on his bed, munching on the remaining slices of orange. Stomach doing that weird twists again. You stood up slowly. “It’s late… I should go.”
This was bad.
He didn’t even look up and just hummed in response.
This was so bad.
You turned toward the door. Wouldn’t he say something? Anything?
You paused, waiting. But nothing came.
This was so fucking bad.
“Goodnight, Jake,” you muttered under your breath, hoping he wouldn’t hear it from under his duvet.
“Yeah… this is pretty bad,” Jake muttered, zooming in on the picture of you and Heeseung laughing over scattered notes on the table. He clicked his tongue, though his expression remained unreadable. It wasn’t like he cared anyway, at least, that’s what he told himself. He turned his phone off and rolled onto his side, facing the wall. Whatever.
“I believe this is not the first time you all are giving a test… still, I will do the final courtesy of reminding you that cheating is absolutely prohibited. Anyone caught cheating will be penalised according to Decelis rulebook…”
Professor Min’s voice felt unusually overwhelming today. You checked the clock, then your laptop screen. Is Jake feeling better now? It had been exactly one week since you last spoke. The bandage he had carefully wrapped around your finger had long been replaced by Chaerin, but somehow, the warmth of his fingertips still lingered. You shook your head. Focus. You forced your attention back to the test paper in front of you.
“Are you fucking kidding me? The test just ended and you’re telling me 50% of our grade still depends on this dumbass assignment?!” Sunghoon groaned, shoving his phone in front of Jay, who looked like he was about to pass out. “How the fuck are you so chill about it?” Jungwon leaned over to peek at Jake’s laptop screen, where he had already started gathering materials for the assignment.
“Party at Soobin’s who’s in?” Sunoo chimed in, instantly grabbing everyone’s attention.“Let’s fucking go. I’m so sick of these exams and assignments,” Sunghoon wailed dramatically, only to fall silent when Jake spoke.“Not coming.”
He scoffed. “Yeah, suit yourself.”
“Exam is overrrr, finally!” Chisa sang, doing a little celebratory dance. “Oh my God, guys! I just got an invitation from Soobin to attend his dope party...and....he even said I could bring whoever I want!” Jurin squealed, joining her.
“No.”
The word left both you and Chaerin at the same time. “Every single bad thing happens there,” you muttered, earning an “exactly!” from Chaerin who nodded her head in agreement. Chisa whined. “Oh, come onnn, Chae—you did have fun at that senior party. And Y/n! don’t act like you won’t be cozying up with your boyfriend.”
You flushed instantly. “N-no?! We’re not even dating like that!”
“Yeah… not yet,” Jurin added with a grin.
“Not happening everrr,” you made a fake throwing up sound.
.…Well. You did say that before.
But now, sitting in Jake’s room with blankets bunched around your legs, a bowl of popcorn resting on your lap, and an iPad screen still loading movie details, you wondered if the universe was playing some twisted joke on you. After ghosting you for two weeks, he had suddenly texted. And here you were. “Why the hell are you sitting so far away?” Jake muttered, grabbing your arm and pulling you closer. You yelped. “No—no! I’m fine!”
He gave you a weird look before pressing play. You barely registered what the movie was about. Spaceships and dinosaurs blurred together as your thoughts spiraled uncontrollably. Right, he said he was stressed because of assignments and needed someone to be his popcorn holder. What a hell of an excuse.
You dared to steal a glance at Jake who was at this point completely immersed in the movie, eyes focused, expression calm. Damn he is such a science freak. I mean not like I was complaining anyway.
Actually, you were. You missed the comfort of your bed and jake's touch—No. Stop.
You shook your head violently. What the hell were you even thinking?Jake suddenly paused the movie and turned to you. “You okay?” You nodded quickly. “Uh huh! Completely!” He stared at you for a solid five seconds before sighing. “Okay. I’m bored. Feed me popcorn while I work on my assignment.”
You blinked.
He raised his eyebrows “you got any problem?”
“But what about the movie??”
“I’ve watched it five times.”
You stared at him, dumbfounded “then why the fuck did you even turn it on, idiot?”
“Because I wanted to, dimwit,” he laughed, already opening his laptop and scooting even closer to you. The rest of the night passed in a blur of bickering and chaos. Your phone buzzed nonstop with texts from Chisa and Jurin sending funny pictures of a drunk Chaerin.
You looked down at your fingers. The sticky feeling of caramel and alongside Jake's tongue brushing against them was lingering there. Your toes curled under the blanket. You swallowed hard, staring blankly ahead.
You didn’t want to admit it yet.
“After having an extensive conversation with the principal, we’ve decided to resume our yearly academic gala after four years of discontinuation.”
The vice chancellor’s announcement echoed through the auditorium, immediately followed by gasps, whispers, and rising excitement. “Why did they discontinue it again…?” Chaerin whispered beside you, still half-asleep as it was unusual for students to be summoned this early. “Some seniors got into a fight,” a random girl nearby replied “ and one of them even ended up with a head concussion.”
You made a weird face. Who the hell does that elementary level nonsense?
Anyways, you had greater problems to worry about than this gala which was about to take place months from now on. Not like you were interested to participate anyways. There was like hundreds of unspoken rule about participation by seniors which included having a mandatory 'attractive' date and wearing limited edition shits. So where does the middle class ugly kid goes? Nowhere silly! They stayed in their dorm while the rich kids drowned themselves in expensive alcohol and drugs.
“Need help?”
You flinched at the sudden voice cutting through your thoughts, then relaxed when you saw Heeseung’s familiar smile peeking out from under his hoodie. “Nahhh, I can reach it—see?” you said, stretching your arm to grab the design book you’d been eyeing. He laughed “no, dumbo. I meant…” He stepped closer and lightly tapped your forehead with his index finger. “There’s a lot going on in here.”
You rolled your eyes “Being a second year architecture major is not for the weak.” He chuckled, then crouched slightly to match your height. “Mhm… I don’t think this is about architecture at all, baby. There’s gotta be a mole.”
You shook your head and raised your hand to flick his forehead. “That’s not it—”
But before your fingers could reach him, another hand shot in and grabbed your wrist. Startled, both you and heeseung turned — and there he was.
Jake.
His expression was sharper than usual, a pair of bold black framed glasses rested on his nose, his uncombed hair falling messily over his forehead.
“You really should stop getting into people’s business,” he said coldly looking into Heeseung's eyes who let out a quiet sigh. “Yeah, my bad. Didn’t realise my boyfriend was into my girlfriend.”
Your tried your best to stay calm as Jake’s grip on your wrist tightened. “Fuck off,” he snapped.
Heeseung simply winked at you, mouthing 'got the mole', before slinging his bag over his shoulder and walking away. The moment he disappeared, you yanked your hand free and rubbed your wrist. “Stop showing up like that.”
Jake crossed his arms, scoffing. “Don’t you think you’re getting a little too comfortable with our deal?” You frowned. “It’s still on. What the hell did I even do wrong?”
He glanced around briefly, checking for anyone nearby, then leaned in slightly. “Getting all cozy with that guy is enough to ruin everything. Evelyn wouldn't even take me seriously at this rate.”
You ignored him, flipping open the book in your hands. “I think you just want to annoy me. This whole ‘making Evelyn jealous’ thing feels like an excuse. Why would a guy with a disgusting reputation like yours even try this hard for someone? You could literally just sleep with anyone and get whoever you want—”
You stopped abruptly, realising how harsh that sounded.
Slowly, you looked up at him. Jake’s expression remained stoic but his grip on the strap of his bag had tightened.
“And what makes you think I’m not fucking other girls while pretending to be in this ‘thing’ with you?” he asked flatly.
A lump formed in your throat and you tried to step closer instinctively. “I’m sorry I didn’t mean it like tha—”
“You know what your problem is?” he cut in, his voice sharp. “Girls like you think you’re superior than others just because you don’t go out, don’t have fun, don’t have any social life outside your stupid syllabus and assignments. When in reality, nobody ever actually chooses you.”
Something inside you cracked. Before you could respond, he stormed past you, his shoulder colliding with yours hard enough to push you back against the bookshelf.
Empty vessels make the loudest noise. Yes that was it. Of course Jake had no right to feel anything when he himself had built that image around him. But who were you even trying to convince? You weren’t supposed to feel like shit. And yet, you felt the worst.
“I can’t find my hoop earrings, what the hell…” Chaerin muttered, rummaging through your drawer and scattering everything in the process which you barely paid attention to. You really weren’t in the fucking mood.
Should I apologise? You bit your nails. But I was trying to...he didn’t even give me a chance.Your head was a mess, thoughts clashing into each other until they turned into an ugly emotion you couldn’t even name anymore.
“You’ve been sighing for the past half an hour. Just spit it out already,” Chaerin said absentmindedly, still searching for her jewellery. You rolled onto your bed, facing her. “I think I messed up.”
“Again???”
The silence that followed felt heavy. Slowly, Chaerin stopped moving.“What’s wrong?”
“I messed up.”
“No shit. About what?” She scooted closer. You bit your lips, trying to organise your thoughts before they spilled out in a word vomit. “Y/n, what are you thinking…” she nudged you lightly. That was enough to make you sit up abruptly, words tumbling out before you could manage them. “I think I have some…ehhh for Jake and I kind of pissed him off and he misunderstood me and—”
“Hold on.” Chaerin grabbed your shoulders. “You have what for Jake?”
You stared at her blankly. “ehhh”
“I swear I’m going to slap the shit out of you if you don’t get to the point,” she shook you violently and you gave up, instantly collapsing back onto the bed and pulling the duvet over your head. “Don’f hate mhme, Chaerin… I—I don’t know hoow it happenfed…”
She sighed, shaking her head, then peeked under the covers, only to find your face wet with tears and snots. “ew, gross” she muttered, covering you again. The room fell silent except for your quiet sobs. After a moment, you felt her hand gently resting on your head. “hey...It’s okay to like someone you know. And why are you crying, idiot? Get up,” she let out a small laugh. You slowly lowered the duvet, eyes red, nose sniffly as you grabbed a tissue “I hurt him, Chae…”
She shrugged. “Apologise. Problem solved.” You blowed your nose out, reaching for another tissue. “I don’t think he’s going to talk to me anymore…” Chaerin paused, thinking “then you accept it and move on. You can’t stay stuck like this forever, baby.”
Your chest tightened. Fresh tears welled up again, as you laid back down.
“I didn’t mean it like that… I didn’t…”
She laid down beside you, wrapping her arms around your torso. “If he feels the same, he’ll accept your apology.”
“you saying?”
“mmh hmm”
# 5 look back
The next time you saw Jake, almost after one week, he was in the library working on his assignments, attention full focused and absorbed in his laptop. You hesitated at the entrance. Even after Chaerin’s reassurance, your courage wavered. Well at this point it's now or never.
You walked in, your Kuromi keychain swinging with each step, and sat down in the empty chair beside him. You knew he felt your presence right away because the moment you turned towards him, he subtly shifted away. Oh. So that’s how it was. Fine, you weren’t backing out either. “Okay, listen… I’ll keep it short,” you whispered, leaning in just enough that your voice brushed against his ear. You could smell his familiar woody scent mixed with something musky.
“I’m sorr—”
Jake stood up. The chair scraped loudly against the floor, drawing a few annoyed glances from nearby students. Without saying a word, he packed his laptop and bag and started walking away. “Jake, wait—” You stood up to follow, but before you could take another step, three figures blocked your path.
Not now oh my god.
“Hi Y/n!” one of them chirped with a smile that didn’t quite reach their eyes. “Mind having a little talk?”
Your legs forgot their purpose as your pupils darted between the familiar faces standing in front of you. Yunjin casually threw an arm around your shoulder, steering you away from the library entrance, with Daniella and Ahyeon following close behind. “So… I heard you designed last year’s college carnival banner?” Ahyeon asked, twirling a strand of her perfectly curled hair.
“I—uh… yeah…” you stammered. “Great!” Daniella clapped excitedly, but immediately stopped when Yunjin shot her a sharp glare. The poor girl cleared her throat and turned to you with an stiff smile. “We’re having a small introduction party for our new cheerleading recruits. Mind designing a banner for us?” Your brain scrambled, trying to calculate what would happen if you refused, but it came up blank.
“Uh… sure. When do you need it?” you asked hesitantly.
“By tomorrow!” Daniella replied, a little too enthusiastically.
You sighed internally. Tomorrow meant Professor Min’s mandatory lecture, so the banner had to be done today. “But I don’t have any materials right now–” Before you could finish, Ahyeon and Yunjin grabbed your arms from either side. “Don’t worry,” Ahyeon chimed. “We already got permission from the art department to use their supplies!”
You didn’t get a chance to decline as the three of them dragged you across Decelis campus toward the art department, away from the library. Usually, the art students were extremely protective of their materials, so you were surprised and even relieved to find the main room was completely empty.
Daniella gave a squeeze on your shoulder. “We’ll wait for you in the library!” And just like that, the three of them disappeared, leaving you alone.
You began gathering supplies, trying to sketch out a rough design in your head. But actually nothing formed since your mind wasn’t empty at all — it was overflowing with jake jake jake and JAKE. Was he really never going to talk to you again? Well if that was it, then fine. It wasn’t like you were going to die if you did not see him.
But it totally felt like you would.
The memory of him ignoring you replayed over and over again, tightening something painful in your chest. You sighed. I need a break. Maybe working on the banner would distract you.
You stood up, suddenly realising you hadn’t asked for any details about the party. You needed them for the design. So you walked toward the door and stopped discovering it closed.
A frown formed on your face. Was it like this when I came in?
You grabbed the handle and pulled. It didn’t budge at all. A sharp wave of panic surged through you and the markers slipped from your hands, clattering loudly onto the floor.
“What the fuck…”You tugged at the handle again. Nothing.
You banged on the door.
“Guys??”
No response came as you knocked harder. “Hello?! Anyone here?!” Silence welcomed you again and this time you slammed your body against the heavy iron door. Again and again, but it didn’t move. Your energy drained quickly, knees weakening, your throat burned from shouting. And after few tries of banging again and calming yourself down, tears slowly welled up and spilled down your cheeks, you bit your lip.
A full circle moment, huh?
The memory hit you like a slap, locking Jake in the sports room just a month ago. Was this karma?
You wiped your tears roughly with the back of your hand, shaking your head. No. You weren’t giving up.
You stepped back, inhaled deeply, and shouted again, louder this time.
“Somebody help me! The door is locked from outside!”
“Okay, so hypothetically, what would you do if I told you Decelis has a ghost?”
Heeseung barely registered a word Beomgyu was saying whose mouth was stuffed with banana chips, crumbs flying everywhere as he talked. Heeseung sighed and closed the book he was reading, then snatched the packet from Beomgyu’s hand. “I mean, that explains why the art department students are always in a bad mood…” Beomgyu continued, leaning closer. “I once stole a roll of art paper—you should’ve seen the way one of them threatened to slit my throat with a craft knife.”
Heeseung finished the remaining chips and tossed the empty packet at Beomgyu’s head “Idiot why would you steal their stuff in the first place? Art paper is expensive.”
Beomgyu rolled his eyes “so??? I heard someone comitted over an argument about art supplies. That’s probably why they hold grudges like that…”
Heeseung checked his watch. Almost 6:30 pm.
He really needed to leave before Beomgyu’s nonsense drained whatever brain cells he had left. “Okay, whatever. Go buy me a drink,” he shoved his shoulder. Beomgyu made a horrified face. “Are you crazy??? The vending machine is literally beside the art department, and it’s the hour of doom. The sun has already set, and look! There are no birds flying back home, and I—”
Heeseung stood up. No this idiot won't stop. “Fine. Suit yourself. I’m going alone.”
“Fuck, what’s wrong with this…” he muttered under his breath when the vending machine failed to process his coins for the second time. “This is it. If it doesn’t work now, I’m getting the hell outta here,” he whispered to himself, trying again for the third time. While waiting, he glanced around, quietly laughing at Beomgyu’s stupidity. With a mechanical clunk, the drink finally dropped into the slot. He relaxed, bending down to pick it up and he paused.
A faint knock came out from the closed art department room. Heeseung froze for a second, a chill creeping up his spine. What the fuck. His eyes scanned around the large iron door. Then he shook his head.
This was Beomgyu’s nonsense getting into his head.
He grabbed his drink and turned to leave. Another knock came louder this time followed by sniffles. He stopped mid step. His grip tightened around the can as he slowly turned back. Something wasn’t right. He walked toward the door in long strides, stopping right in front of it. It was locked from the outside. He cleared his throat. “Is anyone inside?”
The sniffles stopped for a moment, silence filled the space.
Had he imagined it?
And then a voice called out for help. Heeseung didn’t hesitate this time. He quickly unlocked the door and pulled it open. “Y/N?? What are you—” You didn’t let him finish. The moment the door opened, you rushed forward and threw yourself into his arms, clinging to him tightly as your sobs broke out uncontrollably.
Jake stared hard at the pink bouquet, filled with roses, lilies, and a few other flowers he didn’t even know the names of. A frustrated exhale left his mouth as he let out a groan he had been suppressing for a long time. He had bought them hours ago, some of the petals had already started to wither. Now, sitting on the bleachers of the campus, he couldn’t understand what had possessed him to do so.
Jake is plain, he wasn’t a gentleman. Until now, his charm had worked on almost everyone, whether he wanted it to or not. There had never been a reason for him to buy flowers or take someone out on a proper date. At most, he’d share pirated movies with them or let them sit beside him while he played games on his computer. But this? Completely out of his syllabus. So what now? He had bought them so he should have given them to the person he wanted to — but who had he really bought them for?
Fuck. Okay he knows it's for you alright? And he also knows roses and lilies are your favourite flower from that particular shop you always gushed about when their catalogue popped up in your for you page. He knows it, he knows what he's doing but his mind is slowly failing to generate excuses why he would do this.
“shit,” he muttered under his breath, pushing himself up to his feet. He pulled out his phone, which he hadn’t checked since morning. He was scared, scared that he’d see your name in his notifications and run straight to you. His ego was far too fragile for that. And yet, the moment his phone connected to the campus wi fi, the first notification that appeared was from you.
Six hours ago.
I’m in the art department.
let me know when you’re free, I want to talk to you.
Please.
His legs moved before his eyes could fully read the message. In seconds, he found himself sprinting towards the art department, on forth floor.
“Hey, shh… what happened?” Heeseung cupped your face gently, his thumb wiping away the tears that wouldn’t stop falling. “I was scared… m-my phone died, and I—I couldn’t reach anyone,” you choked out between sobs, clutching his shirt tightly, as if letting go would make some unknown creature drag you inside the room again. He didn’t ask for details, didn’t need them. All he cared about was calming you down. So he let you hold onto him, let you cry until your breathing steadied, until the panic slowly drained out of your body.
Moments ago, the room had felt like a prison with sealed windows, locked doors, suffocating silence. You had truly thought you might be trapped there forever.
And then through your blurred vision, you noticed a figure standing a few feet away. Panting and watching. Your breath hitched.
Jake.
His glasses were slightly crooked, his chest rising and falling rapidly from the run. All sweaty from skipping the elevator and taking stairs to reach to you fast.
The moment you recognized him, a sharp ringing filled your ears. You let go of Heeseung almost instantly and stepped toward him. “Jake you came...”
Suddenly he stepped back. A hollow, almost bitter laugh escaped him. “Is this why you called me here? To watch your cliché romance?”
Your stomach dropped. What? No no no no no he's getting it all wrong.
“No Jake listen–” You reached out for him, but before your fingers could touch him, he smacked your hand away. “Don’t.”
Behind you, you felt Heeseung step closer. His voice cut through the tension, uncharacteristically serious as the weight of the situation multiplied rapidly “can you stop being a dick for once?”
Jake’s eyes flickered, irritation flashing across his face. “And why should I take advice from a weirdo like you?”
Heeseung’s jaw tightened and he grabbed your arm, gently pulling you aside, placing himself between you and Jake. “Listen, deepshit—if you actually used that thing on your eyes of yours, you’d see the state she’s in—”
"I don't need to" Jake let out a shaky breathe. He refused to look at your way, cuz he knew if he did he would say something which would harder for him to take back later.
“Y/n…” he began,
“our deal is off.” he finished with a stone expression.
“You can fuck around him as much as you want now,” he continued, taking a deep breathe “but I really wish we had met in a different way.”
Before you could respond to him, he turned and and started walking away without looking back.
“Jake wait!” you called out, your voice breaking as you ran after him, ignoring Heeseung’s hand reaching out to stop you.
Down the stairs, through the empty corridor you called out his name but he was simply gone. Disappointed when you walked back your steps slowed as your eyes fell on a nearby trash can, where a bouquet of lilies and roses wrapped in pink was dumped.
Discarded like it meant nothing. Your chest tightened as you stared at it, the pieces falling into place far too late.
Drunk!Reader with Heeseung please please please I'm begging on my knees please please please please the jay and sunghoon ver were soooooo good I need a heeseung ver please I'm begging pleaseeeeeee
oh to come home drunk to hee </3
warnings: mentions of alcohol, established relationship, use of petnames, kissing, reader tries to escalate but— keyword: tries
heeseung hears the soft click of the door and immediately sits up on the couch, phone abandoned on the coffee table. it’s a little past 2 a.m. and he’s been waiting, half-worried, half-amused because he knew tonight was going to end exactly like this.
you stumble in, cheeks flushed pink, eyes glassy and sparkling under the hallway light. your heels are dangling from one hand, hair a cute mess, and the moment you spot him your whole face lights up like he hung the moon.
“hee!!” you squeal, voice too loud for the quiet dorm. you drop your shoes with a clatter and make a beeline for him, swaying adorably. “missed you so so much, baby.”
he stands up just in time to catch you as you crash into his chest. his arms wrap around you instantly, steady and warm, one hand rubbing your back while the other cradles the back of your head.
“hi, princess,” he murmurs, lips brushing your temple. “having fun without me?”
you nod against his shirt, giggling into the fabric. “so much fun… but it’s better with you. everything’s better with you.” you tilt your head up, eyes wide and hazy, lips puckered. “kiss?”
heeseung smiles, soft and fond, and gives you a gentle peck. you chase his mouth for more, but he pulls back just enough, thumb brushing your bottom lip.
“let’s get you some water first, yeah? come on, sweetheart.”
you whine dramatically but let him guide you to the kitchen, arms wrapped around his waist like a koala. every few steps you nuzzle into his side and mumble how warm he is, how nice he smells, how you love his shoulders.
heeseung keeps one arm securely around you while he fills a glass with cold water. he makes you drink it slowly, holding the glass to your lips, the other hand stroking your hair.
“good girl,” he praises softly when you finish half of it. you beam at the words, cheeks flushing darker.
“your good girl?” you ask, voice syrupy and sweet.
“always mine,” he answers without hesitation, kissing your forehead. “even when you’re drunk and wobbly.”
you giggle again, the sound bright and bubbly. suddenly your hands are roaming — sliding under his shirt, tracing his stomach, then up to his chest. “you’re so pretty, heeseung. like… unfairly pretty. it’s rude.”
he catches your wandering hands gently, bringing them to his lips to kiss your knuckles. “and you’re very drunk, baby. let’s get you changed and into bed.”
you pout but don’t fight him as he walks you to the bedroom. he helps you out of your tight dress, replacing it with one of his big soft t-shirts. his hands are careful the whole time — respectful, loving, only touching to take care of you. when you sway again he steadies you by the waist, murmuring, “easy, princess. i’ve got you.”
once you’re in his shirt you feel bold. you push him lightly until the back of his knees hit the bed and he sits down. then you climb straight into his lap, straddling him, arms looped around his neck.
“i want kisses,” you demand, but it comes out more like a needy mumble. “real ones. the spinning-head kind.”
heeseung laughs under his breath, the sound low and warm. his hands settle on your thighs, thumbs stroking gentle circles.
“if your head spins more you’re going to regret this tomorrow when you’re hungover and embarrassed.”
“won’t,” you insist, leaning in until your noses touch. “love you too much to be embarrassed.”
his eyes soften impossibly. he cups your face with both hands and finally gives you what you want — slow, deep kisses that taste like the strawberry soju still on your tongue. you sigh happily into his mouth, melting against him, fingers playing with the hair at his nape.
every time you pull back to breathe you giggle, forehead resting against his. heeseung keeps kissing you anyway — little pecks on your lips, your cheeks, the tip of your nose, your chin. loud kisses that make you laugh even harder.
“my silly drunk girl,” he whispers between kisses, smiling so wide his eyes crinkle. “so cute when you’re like this.”
you bury your face in his neck, pressing lazy open-mouthed kisses there. “love you, hee. like… a lot. more than the stars. more than my favorite snacks.”
“i love you more,” he answers easily, rubbing your back in slow soothing strokes. “even when you wake up tomorrow and complain that the room is spinning and your head hurts. i’ll still love you when i bring you soup and painkillers and cuddle you all day.”
you hum happily, nuzzling closer. the neediness is slowly fading into sleepy affection. your hips shift in his lap once, more out of restlessness than anything, but heeseung just holds you tighter, grounding you.
“no more moving, baby. time to sleep.”
“but i like sitting here,” you mumble, already half gone, voice muffled against his skin. “you’re warm… and safe… and mine.”
heeseung’s heart does something stupid in his chest. he lies back slowly, keeping you on top of him, one hand cradling your head against his shoulder while the other continues rubbing your back.
“yeah, baby. i’m yours.” he presses one last kiss to your temple. “always.”
you fall asleep like that — sprawled on his chest, breathing soft and even, his t-shirt riding up your thighs. heeseung stays awake a little longer, just watching you, fingers tracing lazy hearts on your back.
“sleep well, my love,” he whispers into the dark. “i’ll be right here when you wake up.”
SYNOPSIS: New York City promised you a lot of things. Big opportunities, a better social life, a lavish city for you to explore, everything and anything but love. While you searched for this thing called ‘love’ by going on dates and being introduced to men after men, you continued to ignore the only person who you’ve always loved, your neighbour across the hall, Lee Heeseung. As you embarked on this journey through life, you realised you were letting him slip away from your grasp as you denied this very thing you longed for. But nothing was ever too late if only you’d face your fears and ruin the damn friendship.
PAIRINGS: non-idol!heeseung x afab!reader
GENRE: (two idiotic) best friends to lovers, fluff, angst, romance, slow burn, inspired by chandler and monica from 'FRIENDS' (tv show) and 'when harry met sally'
WARNING(S): profanities, mentions of alcohol, slight violence
WC: 23k
PLAYLIST: fresh out the slammer, ruin the friendship by taylor swift / a couple minutes, let alone the one you love by olivia dean / almost is never enough, my everything by ariana grande
AUTHOR'S NOTE: i'm ALIVE. happy 2026, sorry for the long wait because life's hectic. this has been in my drafts for a long time and i finally wrote it but ofc it ended up being over 20k lol. please leave a feedback and reblogs are greatly appreciated! muah xx
It’s been five years since you’ve moved to New York. The bustling city was overwhelming to say the least. Fast paced and filled with people of all kinds, settling in definitely took you some time. In those five years, you unexpectedly found yourself in a group of friends. As cliche as it sounded, you were convinced fate had set every one of you up in a peculiar way. From then onwards, the six of you have stuck together and terrorized the coffee shop as a spot for your daily hangouts.
Everything first started off when you moved into your new apartment. You were housing with a girl called Jennifer Huh, or better known as Huh Yunjin, a native New Yorker. She was easy to be friends with, having a natural outgoing personality, she helped you settle in easier than expected. Soon, you met her friend who lived nearby, Kim Chaewon, another bubbly personality added to the mix. The three of you naturally became an inseparable trio when there were way too many common interests shared between all of you.
Moving on from that, it didn’t take long before you met your neighbour too, the one that lived across the hall. Turns out, it was a man that occupied the apartment, seemingly being in the same situation as Yunjin was with the entire housemate hunt, but obviously, that changed when you came along. He, on the contrary, was stuck dealing with that trouble. His name was Lee Heeseung. He was kind, a little too handsome for your eyes to handle and had a mouth that spewed sarcasm like his life depended on it.
Heeseung was searching for a housemate too, but unlike Yunjin, he had a rougher experience with more failures than success. That luck soon changed when you came home to a bunch of boxes piled by the door of Heeseung’s apartment, another pretty face appearing to introduce himself as ‘Jay’, features strong enough to knock wind out of your lungs, matching his velvety smooth voice that would knock your panties off too. It took you and the girls a lot of courage to face Jay, who was deemed as the ‘handsome one’ without his knowledge.
“He won’t bite.” Heeseung snarkily whispered to the three of you when he saw you and your friends huddled into one corner of the couch in the coffee shop, listening to Jay’s complaints about his new job.
To make matters more interesting, Jay soon brought a new friend to the group, a fresh face to the city similarly to you. Sim Jaeyun, who actually insisted on being called Jake, was not only new to the city, but also the country. He was originally from Australia but moved to New York for his job. A cute, awkward guy that stumbled over his words from time to time, reminding you of a puppy, basically that summed him up as a whole.
From the comforts of your apartment to the coffee shop nearby, the six of you spent days, months, years together, not remembering the time where you’re not together, which was probably never. Fast forward to the present day now that years have passed, many have changed when it came to the world, but ultimately, your friendship remained.
“Do you guys still have milk?” you opened your door to a topless Heeseung, bed hair still present, unbothered by your judgemental eye roll as he followed you in.
“Well, good morning to you too,” you grumbled, getting back to your own breakfast.
“Morning,” he flashed a smile at you, then proceeded to dig through your fridge for the milk he came for. “Bingo,” he slammed the door shut, holding onto your box of milk victoriously.
Heeseung walked past you casually, heading towards the door only to stop in his tracks, turning his body to face you in a dramatic manner. You glanced up from your bowl of cereal, seeing the obvious question marks plastered on his entire face.
“Are you still going on that date with Marcus?” he pointed the milk at you, an eyebrow raised. The minor twitch of that same eyebrow didn’t go unnoticed, a quirk of his whenever he’s mildly annoyed. For whatever reason, you didn’t know. You brushed off your initial reaction to that detail, responding to him with an unimpressed stare.
“It's Mark,” you corrected through a mouthful of cereal, watching him slowly approach the table, leaning against the chair opposite of you. “And yes, I am. Aren’t you going on a date with that Jessica girl you met at the coffee shop?”
“I am,” he shifted uneasily on his feet, still maintaining that look in his eyes, the one that he has whenever he interrogates you at the mention of a date. It was rather unreadable, he tended to hide it pretty quickly once he realised you caught onto it. Heeseung and you were no strangers to each others’ love lives, constantly curious about potential dates, wishing to indulge purely out of interest. This time, however, Heeseung seemed to emit a much different intent than before. “That’s not important, though. So, what's Mark like?”
“Your date isn’t important but mine is? What? You want him instead?” you deadpanned, attempting to amuse him dryly, unable to understand the reason behind him suddenly prying into the information of your date when he would usually choose to spare listening to the details.
“I’m just … asking,” Heeseung shrugged, a 180 switch from one minute ago, acting as if he could care less, but the stiffness in his stance was telling you otherwise.
You finished the last of your breakfast, getting out of your seat to clean up, hearing Heeseung shuffling around behind you in your quiet apartment. “He’s nice, a decent guy with a funny humour, quite awkward, but also charming,” you described Mark to Heeseung, though you found it was rather simple and vague once you verbally said it out loud, not that you knew him more than that. “What about Jessica?”
Heeseung hadn’t expected you to turn his question on him. He was stunned for a moment, but was quick to recover himself. “She’s cute, really sweet, smart and works in a hospital,”
You nodded slowly, putting the dishes away before turning to face him, resting your hip against the counter. “Where are you taking this girl?”
“The restaurant down the street from the coffee house,”
“The Italian one? What a coincidence. Mark made a reservation at the Spanish restaurant across from it,”
“Of course he did,” Heeseung muttered inaudibly under his breath, just quiet enough for you to not catch onto his words. It only got him a very confused frown from you, your stance changing to rest a hand on your waist.
“What?”
He waved his hand dismissively at you, laughing lightly to distract you from his peculiar behaviour. “Nothing. Maybe we’ll run into each other tonight … or not,”
“Maybe,” you echoed, thinking about the several times you’ve actually ran into Heeseung in the middle of your dates and vice versa. You and him never had dates outside of the area, frequently going to places nearby, but bizarrely, you never question the coincidences if the two of you saw each other.
“I’ll see you later at the coffee house. I heard Jake has some news he wants to tell us,” Heeseung had his hand on the doorknob, ready to leave, his gaze on you unwavering. It was an early morning, yet there was something odd lingering in the air between you and him that you could not comprehend. When it comes to your conversations about dates with Heeseung, it has always been lighthearted discussions, unlike this time where you found yourself troubled and him acting out of character.
“See you, Hee,” you softly bid him a temporary goodbye, absentmindedly using a nickname that only you had reserved for him. He flashed you a quick smile before closing the door, leaving you alone to marinate in the aftermath of your short yet questionable conversation. The thoughts of him persisted for too long till the door to Yunjin’s room swung open, and you failed to notice it.
“Who was that?” her voice successfully brought you out of your daydreams, you could tell from her expressions that she had spotted your strange behaviour almost at once, reminding you to snap out of it and return yourself back to your senses. Call it morning grumpiness or a Heeseung shake up. “Was it Heeseung?” you couldn’t deduce if Yunjin was simply assuming it was him or she had guessed it accurately from the look on your face.
“Yeah,” you chose to feign ignorance, pretending you weren’t bothered by him or even the mention of his name.
Yunjin groaned deeply, rolling her eyes far enough that it might’ve gone to the back of her head. “Did he take our milk again?”
The morning rolled by without either of you bringing up Heeseung’s name once more. As usual, when lunch time came around, the entire group was present at the coffee house, crowding the designated spot, all of you arriving from each of your offices, waiting for Jake to spill his burning hot news.
“So, what’s the big announcement, Jakey boy?” Yunjin sipped on her hot tea, eyeing Jake sharply as he set his briefcase down, the tailored suit hugging his figure perfectly.
“I got offered to teach at NYU!” Jake almost jumped at the announcement, looking as though he had been holding that information in for ages. The group cheered in sync, yelling a collection of congratulations, each one of you taking turns to hug him out of genuine shared excitement. “I’ll be an engineering professor, isn’t it crazy?”
“That’s great, Jake!” Chaewon was the last to hug him, patting him enthusiastically on the back while she made sure her coffee didn’t spill over. She set her mug down, eyes lighting up at an idea that seemed to have appeared in her mind. “How about we go out and celebrate?”
Jake beamed at her suggestion, his answer was already written all over his face. “We should. Shouldn’t we, guys? What about dinner tonight?”
Heeseung glanced at you, meeting your knowing gaze, a mutual understanding passing through the two of you. He turned to Jake, hating to ruin the moment for just a split second. “Sorry pal, Y/N and I have dates tonight. How about tomorrow night?”
“You two are finally going on a date?”
The atmosphere around the group stilled, everyone stopped whatever they were doing, halted mid drink or bite, just to stare at you and Heeseung. Worst part of all, they didn’t even bother questioning Jake’s obvious error. You were sure every one of them had heard and understood Heeseung clearly, but instead, they chose to go with Jake’s misinterpretation.
“What?” Speaking in sync wasn’t entirely helping your case either. You and Heeseung exchanged incredulous glances, facing your group of friends after with nothing but an obvious look of ‘are you kidding me‘, as though their foolishness were incomprehensible to you and Heeseung.
“Wait, you’re not going on a date together?” Jake threaded the waters carefully, shrinking into his seat in embarrassment, contrary to the rest, who perked up in overwhelming interest.
“We’re not going on a date together, not with each other,” Heeseung corrected, sighing loudly out of his flaring nostrils.
“We have dates scheduled with other people. I’m going out with Mark, remember the guy I was saying—”
“Oh! The cute guy from my marketing department!” Chaewon jogged her memory, remembering the details better than Heeseung did. Speaking of him, he was fortunate enough to avoid getting caught rolling his eyes at the mention of your date, a minor detail that went a long way.
“That’s right, Chae, thank you,” you nodded at her, smiling sweetly. “Heeseung’s going out with … who’s she again?” You flashed an apologetic look at him, though it wasn’t convincing. You did remember her name, you were just doing this out of spite, and yes, you were aware of Heeseung glaring at you.
“Jessica,”
“The one with the big tits?” Jay spoke his mind a little too freely, garnering a collective questionable look from the group. He merely shrugged, not one ounce of regret seen in his expressions.
“No, the one with a big heart,” Heeseung grumbled, the sarcasm in his comment remained as per usual.
“Well, we thought—”
“We thought nothing,” Yunjin cut through Chaewon’s words quicker than the speed of light, shooting her a warning glare that you might need to read into after. You and Heeseung couldn’t understand what they meant, neither did the two of you notice the wary looks exchanged between your friends. It was the exact feeling of getting left out of an inside joke, but it was less stinging to know you had Heeseung with you in that experience. “Anyway, should we set dinner for tomorrow night?”
As if on cue, everyone responded with unanimous agreement, brushing past the prior topic without a second thought. You figured it was strange how your friends had reacted to the very ridiculous idea of you and Heeseung going on a date with each other. Plus, what did Jake mean with ‘finally’? Weren’t you and Heeseung just friends, the same way it was with the others?
Hypothetically speaking, if you were to go out on a date with him, what’s so wrong with that?
For that night, to everyone’s disappointment, you already had a date, and his name was Mark. You decided to shake the thoughts away until you were standing by the entrance of your apartment, waiting for your date’s arrival so that you two could walk down to the restaurant together. It was an arrangement you purposely requested, thinking a walk would add some spice to it.
“Hey,”
You didn't need to turn to find out who it was that appeared. From the voice alone, including the warm presence you felt, you concluded that Heeseung had made his presence known. He stood next to you, hands in his pockets, decked out in a sleek suit.
“Hey. You're all dressed up,” you reached over to fix his tie, straightening it to make sure it wasn’t crooked. After all, a good impression was important. “And, you finally know how to tie your own tie,”
“I always knew how to do that,” Heeseung argued back, though it was a weak argument, knowing you had struck dead on a bullseye.
“No, you don't,”
“Yes, I do,”
“Then who’s been the one tying it for you whenever you mess up? Jay?”
Heeseung breathed sharply through his nose, realising you had the last word, but he didn’t mind, a smile proved it, just from thinking about the memories of you fixing his every fucked up tie. “It’s you,”
“That’s right,” you saw that smile of his stretched across his lips, the suddenness of your heart jumping at the sight made your hand fall from his tie, your expressions unknowingly faltering. You recovered yourself in an instant, relieved that Heeseung hadn’t caught onto it. “Are you waiting here too?”
“I’m heading to the restaurant, we’re meeting there. Is your date coming? We can walk together if you’d like,”
“I’d love to, but we’re meeting here,” you softened at his suggestion, noting the hint of disappointment in your tone that you hoped he didn’t notice. There was a short moment of silence that neither you nor him minded, just taking in each other’s presence. “Thanks, Heeseung,”
Heeseung smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes like it always did. Despite the noises surrounding you, whether it was people talking or the traffic of the busy city, in that moment, you only had each other in focus. “No problem. See you tomorrow?”
You nodded, reaching your hand over again to give him a slightly encouraging squeeze to the shoulder. “I’ll see you tomorrow. Good luck,”
“You too.”
Meeting Mark started off great, the walk to the restaurant had gone according to plan, you managed to get to know more about this guy in Chaewon’s marketing department. He loved cycling, had a cat, lived in the upstate area, basically an ideal recipe for a good boyfriend. You knew you could trust Chaewon’s taste.
Dinner had a slow start to it. You listened to Mark talking about his latest discoveries of restaurants nearby, liking how he carried himself, especially when he spoke of his interests that only made him more interesting. Maybe, just maybe, there was a chance that this would break your ‘first date curse’, that there’d be an actual second date waiting for you.
However, you were wrong, so wrong.
By the time dessert was served, you thought your ears were about to fall off from Mark’s continuous rant about his ex girlfriend. At first, it began with only a simple mention of her, eventually it turned into an emotional spiel, then finally, he decided to close the night off with confessing his longings for her, which beats the entire purpose of the date and ruined your appetite for dessert.
You didn’t bother for him to walk you home, you figured you needed alone time to sort out your afterthoughts about the disastrous date. The moment you bid him goodbye, you knew there was no next time, surely you weren’t going to bump into him either. Once he disappeared around the corner, you found the courage to move, but as you were about to turn and leave, you spotted another figure across the street.
Heeseung.
Likewise, he had seen you at the same time that you did, meeting your eyes almost instantly. You couldn’t help frowning, noticing the lack of his date’s presence, questioning why he was alone just like you were. It didn’t take him another second before he crossed the road skillfully, dodging the traffic as if it was nothing. He appeared right in front of you within a blink of an eye, wearing the brightest smile that resembled the stars in the night sky.
“Didn’t think I’d see you tonight,” you said truthfully, thinking the interaction you had with him before the date was going to be the last time you saw him until the next day. Little did you know, fate had other things set in motion for you and him.
“I thought so too. I’m glad I got to see you though,” he was genuine, you could tell, his smile remained on his face softly, as if your presence was enough to evoke one from him. “How’s your date? Has he left?”
“Don’t talk about my date, it was another disaster,”
“Was he married again?”
“What—no! God, no. I don’t think I can handle it if it happened again,” you shook your head harshly, mostly trying to physically shake the thoughts from your head. You swallowed, uncomfortably shifting on your feet. “He was talking about his ex,”
“Ouch!” Heeseung exclaimed, dramatically placing a hand on his chest.
“I know!”
“The worst kind of date to have,”
“Tell me about it. I had to sit there and hear him yap about her and how she’s a bitch, but then she’s suddenly an angel that he lost,”
His eyebrows furrowed, a frown pulled at his lips, the same one he had whenever a waiter got his order wrong. He clicked his tongue, shaking his head gently. “You know what he truly lost? You,”
You searched his eyes for the truth, terrified he was lying through his teeth, that he was saying things to make your heart jump just for it to be all in your head. “You’re only saying that to make me feel better,”
“I've never lied to you, Y/N,” there, in the middle of a sidewalk, in his suit, Heeseung confessed his thoughts, the moon illuminating the honesty hidden behind his eyes, highlighting the truth laced in his words. “You looked beautiful tonight,”
“Thank you,” you had to ignore the feeling of warmth creeping up your cheeks, hoping—no—praying the darkness managed to cover it. “How was your date? I don’t see her anywhere,”
Heeseung pulled a face, shoulders stiffening at the mention of his night, which gave the clear impression that it didn’t turn out well. “She’s … I don’t know. I didn’t click with her, unfortunately. I don’t think she was interested either, honestly. We went our own ways after, that’s it,”
“Oh, Heeseung,” you winced, making a face that screamed ‘yikes’, causing him to click his tongue in annoyance.
“Don’t start the pity party, it was mutual,” he reached for your arm, pulling you to walk with him, starting your journey back to the apartment. You couldn’t explain it, but the usual route back home became more comforting with him by your side. “I think I might lay off the whole dating thing for a while and focus on work,”
“When was the last time you got laid?”
Heeseung turned to look at you with his mouth hung open midway, partially offended but also shocked at the fact that you dared to ask a question knowing it targeted his already weakened pride. This wasn’t the type of topic the two of you would shy away from, the years of being friends amounted to many awkward instances that trained either of you to turn insensitive to things others would view as taboos in friendships consisting of opposite genders.
You raised an eyebrow, prodding him to answer your question. He rolled his eyes dramatically, exhaling a long, exhausted sigh. All this and he would call you the ‘drama queen’. “Almost three months ago,”
“A-ha! No wonder you said that,” you pointed an accusatory finger at him, nearly cackling in his face. “Men who say they ‘give up’ on dating are usually the ones that are fumbling their chances with a girl time after time. Is that not you?”
“Ouch?” he placed a hand on his chest, mocking a bullet to his heart, feigning a devastated frown to earn pity points from you. Spoiler alert, it failed, because all you could do was laugh at him, ticking him off further. “It’s not my fault I can’t click with anyone. They’re not …” Heeseung bit his tongue at the realisation of almost completing his sentence with ‘you’, the word coming to him in an instinct he didn’t bother to question. Shaking the thought away, he decided to omit it, burying it down in the pits of his abdomen. “They’re not the kind of people that share the same values as I do, you know?”
“I know,” you nodded slowly, wearing a small smile, somewhat relating to him on various levels. The date with Mark being a sinking ship was clear evidence. “I’m not having any luck in that department either. Look at us tonight,” you met his eyes, sharing a mutual understanding, one that neither of you needed to communicate, resulting in a fit of laughter, self-deprecating and wildly targeted at yourselves.
“It just means not yet,” by the time he said that, the both of you had already arrived on the doorsteps of your apartments, conveniently across from each other. It sounded close to a promise of the future, the conviction in his voice nearly convinced you. You hummed in response, contemplating his words, quietly pondering if the day where you’d find love would come. Movies depicting New York as the city where love resided gave you a sense of false hope when you got here. Now years later, you were slapped in the face with the reality of its dating pool.
Choosing to move past the topic of love and dating, you decided to bring up a much more relevant question that’s been bugging you since you saw him earlier on. “Are you coming over for breakfast tomorrow? I'm making pancakes,”
“Are they better than Jay’s?”
“Probably not, but I swear I’ll put butter on top instead of whip cream, the way you like it best,”
“You know me too well,”
You smiled. Of course you did. “Goodnight, Heeseung.”
“Goodnight, Y/N.”
Neither of you dared to reach out to hug the other, it was evident that the both of you wanted to, but unexplainably so, you were too afraid to. Maybe it was the sudden switch in the atmosphere that you couldn’t pinpoint accurately. All you knew was that you could feel his gaze linger on you even as you entered your apartment, feeling his warmth in the empty apartment of yours.
“Heeseung was here for breakfast this morning,”
In your shared living room with Yunjin, she happened to be bringing up some minor details of the day to Chaewon. The three of you were getting ready for Jake’s celebratory dinner at a fine dining restaurant uptown. It would only be fair if you got to prepare yourselves together, choosing the best dresses and gossiping about the latest scandal, except it somehow redirected to you.
“And you got home pretty late last night too,” Yunjin pointed a finger at you, two pairs of eyes turned to look at you, expecting at least a pinch of explanation for a link between these two situations. Shrugging, you couldn’t understand what Yunjin was trying to get out of this, or you were pretending not to know where it was going.
“I had a date with Mark, remember?”
“Nuh-uh,” Yunjin chastised, clicking her tongue, and wagging her finger. Chaewon, on the other hand, scratched at her head, closely observing Yunjin’s thorough investigation. “He’s not the one who walked you home. You would always invite your dates in for coffee, but you didn’t last night, so it means the date failed,”
Right, you didn’t need another reminder from Sherlock Holmes telling you that the only date you had in several months ended up in a ditch. “Okay! Yes, my date with Mark didn’t go as planned,” you threw your arms up in surrender, hoping to move on from your misery, thus choosing to come clean against your will. You moved from the kitchen table to fling your body onto the couch, the bottom of your shirt riding up your hip. “I bumped into Heeseung, then we walked home together, that’s all,”
Yunjin and Chaewon exchanged a knowing glance instantly, as if it was on instinct, leaving you completely out of the loop. They got up from their respective positions and joined you on the couch, one on each side, closing in on you with questions written all over their faces. “That’s … all?” Chaewon added, sounding either hopeful or skeptical, a blurry line between the two,
“Yes,” you affirmed, scoffing humorously at your friends’ ridiculous behaviours. “What?” you turned your head from one to the other to give both of them a curious frown, unable to gauge their thoughts. Whatever they were, they weren’t good, nor were they going to make your frown turn upside down.
“Are you wearing Heeseung’s shirt?” Yunjin pointed at the graphic tee you had on, fooling nobody as it obviously was not fitted for you. To dig your grave deeper, your friends believed you weren’t a fan of Star Trek either, hence the shirt with a large print of Spock made no sense. “He came in asking if he left it here,”
“I borrowed it, that’s it,” you presented your point, but Yunjin and Chaewon weren’t pleased. They were nowhere near satisfied, and it seemed they were willing to go lengths just to squeeze an answer or any semblance of information out of you whether you liked it or not. Your friends were crazy. Period. A fact you had known since the beginning.
“What is Heeseung to you, Y/N?” Yunjin propped her elbows on her knees, chin rested on her palms, staring expectantly at you through her eyelashes.
“Huh?” One question from Yunjin suddenly had the power to wipe off every thought from your head, mind as blank as a sheet of paper. If anything, it was panic that set in.
“You heard her, Y/N,” Chaewon nudged you, seeing through your act of ignorance. Obviously she would, she knew you the best when it came to your feelings. “What’s it between you and Heeseung?”
“He’s my friend—my best friend,” you emphasised on ‘friend’ as though it was successfully helping your point. It was a fact either way. Heeseung was your best friend, he has been for the last five years, your first official friend slash neighbour since moving to the city. He was just that, just Heeseung, nothing more.
“Men and women can’t be just friends,” Yunjin argued, supported by Chaewon who was nodding fervently next to you.
“You know you’re friends with men too, right?” you squinted at her doubtfully, her idea completely defeated the purpose of your own friendgroup.
“I know, we’ve already gone through it,” Yunjin nodded over to Chaewon, her nodding becoming more pronounced, a hushed ‘yeah’ escaped her breath, filled with partial guilt.
“Excuse me?”
“Alright, maybe Chaewon and I had some … past encounters with Jay and Jake, but none of them turned into anything. Oh, God forbid,” Yunjin brushed past your stunned silence, not batting an eye at your face frozen in shock, such information being exchanged before a dinner with said friends wasn’t good for your wellbeing. “It proves my point. Even if nobody says it outwardly, it’s a known fact,”
“There are platonic friendships,” you argued, knowing it was weak, and you were also losing. However, you were standing firm that you and Heeseung were nothing more than friends, close, good friends that understood each other well. That’s it.
“Explain ‘When Harry Met Sally’,” Chaewon was actually using one of your favourite rom-coms against you, you couldn’t believe it, this was total betrayal. How could a movie with Meg Ryan and Billy Crystal be a reflection of your life? That’s far-fetched. “They didn’t like each other at first, but they eventually became friends, then realised they loved each other—not platonically,”
“Come on, that’s a movie,”
“It’s an example for your case,” Yunjin poked your shoulder, tilting her head to one side, presenting her puppy eyes to you. Unfortunately for her, you weren’t letting yourself get convinced by their crazy theories and philosophies. Standing up from the couch, you put your foot down—quite literally so.
“Guys, Heeseung and I will never be more than just friends, that’s crazy. I’m sure the others don’t share the same ideas as you two,” your laugh gradually died down when you saw the looks on their faces, telling you that your two other friends did think you and Heeseung could cross the lines of friendship. “Nevermind. Still, it’s impossible. He’s never once given me signs that he likes me that way,”
“I’d like to disagree,” Yunjin raised her hand, Chaewon following suit.
“Me too,”
You chose to dismiss them, clapping your hands together, staring down at them with your lips pressed tightly together. “Agree to disagree. And I’ll move on. My point is, we’re friends, end of story. There’s no way it’ll happen. Ever,”
“This is going to end up biting you in your ass, Y/N,” Yunjin seemed a bit more serious this time, genuine concern laced in her tone, the crinkles in between her eyebrows showed her thoughts without verbally expressing them.
“Not if nothing happens and everything stays the same. I’ll come out unscathed,” you sounded determined, though your heart and mind were the complete opposite, but you ignored them for now, uncertain how long you could continue to do so. “I’ll prove it to you that we’re just friends,”
“How?” Chaewon shared the same doubts as you did, except you were much better at hiding them.
“You’ll see,”
Coincidences were frightening. At that moment, there came a series of knocks on your door that you recognised in a matter of seconds. Your neighbours, Heeseung and Jay, were ready to leave for the scheduled dinner. They seemed to know when and how to make their presence known as usual. It would be believable if someone told you they’ve been listening behind the door all along, but you figured that’d be your nightmare that night instead of it being reality.
“Are you guys ready?”
Exchanging frantic glances, the three of you burst out laughing at the so-called ‘divine timing’. You were quick to shush them in order to lower any suspicions from the other end. Giggles were hard to stifle completely, most of which stemmed from your two giddy friends. You picked up your clutch from the coffee table, ready to run to your room to change. The other two hopped off the couch to make finishing touches to their makeup.
“Be there in a few minutes!”
Trying to ignore your friends’ claims of you and your guy best friend potentially being a thing wasn’t easy, not when he was seated next to you throughout dinner.
God damn it.
“…and that is how I secured the job. I still can’t believe it,” Jake finished his lengthy story, explaining the entire process that got him his new position at NYU. A few glasses of wine in, every one of you were far from being completely sober. Well, that was excluding Jake and Heeseung, the default duo that avoided drinking and had the responsibility of looking over the group.
“So, what’s your lesson plan?” Chaewon chewed on her piece of french fries obnoxiously, showing actual curiosity about his job while Jay and Yunjin were engrossed in refilling each others’ cups with more wine. That left you and Heeseung to yourselves, both of you had already disassociated from the earlier conversation (sorry, Jake).
“Are you okay?” Heeseung looked over at you, noting your unusual silence since the start of dinner. Normally, you would be grateful for how observant he was, that he wouldn’t miss a single chance to check in on you if he noticed something was off. This time, however, he was the last person you wished to be conversing with.
“Peachy,” you raised your wine glass at him before drinking a sip out of it, eyes widening just a fraction behind the glass. Yunjin and Chaewon truly set you up for failure by dropping a bomb on you. Now, you’re stuck trying to be normal around Heeseung with a different perspective compared to hours ago. “Just thinking,”
“About?”
You. Lee Heeseung. Honesty wasn’t always the best policy, thus you blurted out the second thing you had in mind. “‘When Harry Met Sally’,”
Heeseung blinked for a few beats, realisation gradually setting in, a breathy chuckle left his lips. He shook his head in disbelief, not understanding your craze around that movie. What did he know about the superiority of friends to lovers trope anyway? “Don’t tell me you’re on your—what—tenth rewatch?”
“It’s my twelfth, actually,” you corrected sharply, holding a finger up. You took another bigger gulp of wine when Jay filled your cup, both him and Yunjin were on the way to getting drunk from finishing nearly the entire bottom themselves. “The best romance movie made of all time, period,”
“Over ‘Grease’? ‘The Princess Bride’? Oh, ‘Dirty Dancing’? Those are our favourites,” Heeseung gasped, sounding betrayed by your choice of romance movies. You didn’t miss the hidden detail where he stressed on the movies he listed were ‘our’ favourites. Not ‘mine’, but ‘our’, as in you and I. God, you wished you were less aware of every tiny aspect about what he said or did.
“You’re only saying that because I made you watch ‘When Harry Met Sally’ ten times out of my twelve rewatches, and you’re sick of it,”
“I am sick of it,”
“But if I invited you over for the thirteenth rewatch as a movie night, you’d come, wouldn’t you?” you leaned closer to him, wearing a cheeky smile to tease him even more. He gave you one of his classic eye rolls, trying to come off as annoyed only for the grin on his lips to sell him out.
“Of course I would, you know that,” he flicked your forehead softly, pulling a humorous laugh from you. You’ve always been easily amused by him. Heeseung kept his gaze on you, hiding his smile with his glass of water which he was drinking out of.
“Y/N!” Jay semi-shouted from across the table, getting many shushes from your friends, yet his tipsy state meant he was extra shameless, so he continued to wave at you. “Let me pour you another glass!”
You slid him your almost empty wine glass, watching him pour you an obscene amount of wine. What didn’t help was you meeting Yunjin’s eyes, and you could clearly read the message she was trying to convey with a single raise of her eyebrows, alongside the slight nod to the person next to you. You had a feeling she was keeping a close watch on you the whole night.
Taking your glass back, you stared at it with an expression that could only be described as dreadful delight. Sure, you were more than happy to indulge in expensive Italian wine, but the thought of the aftermath usually pained you more than the initial pleasure. After all, you would admit being a lightweight contrary to the constant denials that you were not one. Your drinking records and history would betray you immensely.
“If you can’t drink that much, I can help,” Heeseung, your knight in shining armour, butted in to lend you a helping hand. But it wasn’t his first day knowing you. You weren’t someone who would go down without a fight. He had to learn it the hard way in the past, so if he were to give a stance on this, he chose to step away from stopping you.
“I can handle it,”
“Are you sure?”
“I’m very sure, don’t worry.”
Turns out, you couldn’t handle it, and your assurance was for nothing. The restaurant probably hated you and your friends for stumbling out, slurring incoherently, only two out of the six were visibly sober, bearing the burden to carry all of the others away from the place and into two separate cabs. The usual plan was enforced. Jake would bring Chaewon home, while Heeseung had to deal with dumb, dumber, and dumbest.
Don’t even get Heeseung started on how he managed to get the three of you up the flight of stairs in the apartment building. It was a miracle all of you were just heavily tipsy, and not full on drunk, that would be a tale for another day. He made sure Jay got into their apartment before escorting you and Yunjin back to yours. Yunjin muttered a grateful ‘thanks’ to him then disappeared into her room, which meant it was you and Heeseung together again. Alone.
“I had a fun night,” you twirled around in his arms, breaking into a song out of nowhere, the alcohol in your system visibly getting to you. The lyrics of your favourite ABBA song was being jumbled up in your mouth, Heeseung doing his utmost best to correct you as he stifled his laughter. “We should have another dinner party,”
“We will. Once everyone is sober,” he had his hand on your back, guiding you towards the couch, placing a bunch of pillows behind you. His patience was commendable. You settled into your seat, appreciating the warmth coming from his side, his shoulder pressed against yours. The comfort of his presence resembled a warm hug on a rainy day, enveloping you in constant assurance. It was something that could never get old. You leaned your head on his shoulder, snuggling closer to him.
“Remember our first trip to the beach?” You reminisced about the time when you and the others packed up for the weekend to head to the beach, courtesy of Chaewon’s aunt allowing every one of you to stay at her beach house. That trip alone was a key factor to your long lasting friendship, witnessing the highs and lows of your friends while they also watched yours, and that was barely an exaggeration.
Heeseung nodded slowly, curious to where your babbling was going. “What about it?”
“I still think about us on the beach—I meant the both of us—when we walked on the shoreline, collecting seashells. I think that is one of my favourite memories ever,” your eyelids were getting heavy, every word was uttered with whatever power left in you. Heeseung took a peek at you, smiling at your serene state.
“It’s one of mine too. I remember all the sunsets and sunrises there. It was beautiful … unforgettable,” Heeseung could go on and on about that weekend spent there, it was the first trip you and your friends took as a group, one of the most chaotic trips as well. But it also happened to be the time where Heeseung realised he viewed you differently from the rest. “I still have the picture I took of you and the sunset,”
You were partly clear-headed at that moment, stunned by the memory he brought up out of the blue. He had never once forgotten about it, neither did you. Most importantly, it was how he said it which made your heart experience sensations you hadn’t felt in a long time. This was Heeseung, your Heeseung, a friend and a brother figure, there shouldn’t be anything more than that, should it? “And I have the seashells we collected together,”
Heeseung’s expressions softened, his lips twisted into a smile full of nostalgia, recalling the memory fondly as if it had just happened a few weekends ago. If he closed his eyes tightly for a minute, he may be transported back to then. The sound of the sea waves, the smell of the salty breeze, your laughter taking space in his mind. He was grateful his face wasn’t fully in view for you to see in case his eyes turned against him. He might’ve been silent, but his gaze spoke for him. Longing and missing the absence of the burden of carrying his heavy feelings.
“Heeseung,” you called out his name, breaking the thick silence, startling him awake from his trance-like state. He twisted his neck slowly to look at you, inspecting you closely in search of any troubles. Your stoic face seemed to not give anything away.
“Hm?”
“I think I need to puke,”
The calmness behind that statement managed to evoke sheer alarm in Heeseung. He was about to jolt out of his seat when he remembered you were leaning on him. As gentle as he could, he removed your head from his shoulder, pulling you up from the couch with him, holding onto you carefully.
“Let’s do that in the bathroom, shall we?”
“I don’t think I’m drinking again, Hee,”
“You say that every time you drink,”
The urge to release all your discomfort came rushing when you regurgitated the night’s contents into the toilet bowl. You were kneeling on your bathroom floor, bent over the toilet bowl, puking in intervals, looking absolutely pathetic, all while Heeseung held onto your hair. He never complained, treating it as another night stuck with a drunk you. Now that you were much more stable than before without nausea knocking on your door little by little, you were stuck on the thought of whether your puking episode was induced by the alcohol or Heeseung as a whole.
Holding onto that thought in mind, you collapsed onto the ground from fatigue, sitting slouched against your bathroom walls, feeling ten times lighter and a million times better. Heeseung knelt before you, holding onto either side of your head as it kept lolling back. Sleep was evidently getting close to you, the fluttering of your eyelids revealed your tiredness without a doubt. You forced your eyes open, instantly staring into his, a gleeful smile involuntarily appearing on your face. If Yunjin and Chaewon saw you then, you would be a goner, your attempt to prove them wrong would be redundant.
“Why are you so good to me?”
“I don’t know how not to be. It’s easy when it’s you,” Heeseung gently pressed your cheeks together, chuckling under his breath at your mildly irritated expression. He probably thought it was due to him playfully teasing you by squeezing your face, but in actuality, you were bothered by his words, how he said them without any hesitance as though it was second nature. None of it was as casual as he made it out to be.
Heeseung’s eyes flickered, gradually recognising what had actually left his lips as it slowly settled in, causing him to clear his throat, swallowing thickly. “Because that’s what friends do,”
The changes in your microexpressions were swift, face falling with a frown etching itself into your skin, all of which were barely noticeable if not scrutinized upon, but knowing Heeseung, you had a feeling he might’ve caught onto it at first glance. You couldn’t explain the disappointment burning into your bones once you registered what he said, the cut only went deeper knowing it came personally from him, not the voices screaming in the back of your mind. Shooting you possibly hurts less.
It was what you wanted, wasn’t it? To establish you and him were purely friends and nothing more. That was the whole point of your conviction to your own friends, it would be embarrassing to go back on it. But why were you sorely unhappy when he himself claimed that you and him were friends? Till the point where it was causing you uncontrollable sorrow that you had to push his hands away, using the walls as support to get yourself off the ground.
Severely caught off guard, Heeseung tried to help you in the process of standing up, though it wasn’t much when you got on your own two feet by yourself. Great, you felt the nauseating feeling in the back of your throat returning, only this time, you were certain it was caused by Heeseung. Speaking of Heeseung, you were met with his utterly perplexed yet worried look twisted in his tired face, wordlessly begging for answers that you couldn’t seem to provide.
“It’s getting late, and you’re tired. I can manage,” you opened the bathroom door, exiting through it while still facing Heeseung, hoping you wouldn’t get betrayed by your feet while walking backwards foolishly. “See? I can walk perfectly fine—”
Scratch that.
You spoke too soon. As always. Another step taken backwards, your foot landed in an odd direction, which instantly caused you to lose your balance. Despite his exhaustion after a long night, his senses were constantly on high alert, hand flying out to grab onto your forearm, stopping you from falling back. To make things worse, he yanked onto your arm, pulling you into him without considering your frail state of mind and body, explaining your current position of your hands propped against his shoulder.
“Still clumsy,” Heeseung attempted to break the silence with a lighthearted jab, which may have backfired a little when you continued to be unresponsive, silently staring at him with your mouth slightly ajar. The proximity wasn’t helping your prior mental war with yourself either. The concoction of intoxication and incoming hormone fluctuations were actively going against you as you battled with attraction and horror. You chose to respond to the horrifications created in your mind instead of the other.
“Not a single scratch,” you removed yourself from his hold for another time that night, chuckling nervously, your breath itself was also shaky. Definitely not helping your case. “Thanks again,”
“It’s alright,” no sarcastic comments, no targeted digs at you, no usual Heeseung-like behaviour, it was purely him. Earnest and serious, another side of him that he wasn’t afraid to reveal to you.
“That’s what friends do, right? Saving each others’ asses,” you weren’t in your right mind, it was evident when you said that and proceeded to punch Heeseung lightly on his shoulder to cover up your embarrassment. Heeseung wasn’t entirely thrilled after hearing that. It could be your eyes deceiving you, but you swore there was a flash of solemnness taking over his face at one point. He had the same look as the time he got heartbroken by his cat going missing.
“Right, friends,” he repeated that word with enough sourness to make others think he had issues socialising growing up, giving people the impression that he had an agenda against friends. The air in your apartment was turning stuffy by the minute, it was practically calling for you to force windows open because you were far from breathing properly. He released a sigh under his breath, taking a step to the side, his gaze stuck to his shoes. “I think I should get going now. Wash up and sleep. There’s medicine in your bedside table if you forget,”
“See you in the morning, Hee.” you couldn’t bear to follow him to the door, it was as though your body failed to comply with your mind completely. It was your pair of eyes that went after him, closely watching his every move to the door. He spared you one last look, not even a single smile that he would usually have whenever he’s at the door or at the mention of his nickname. Just like that, he was gone, and you were there staring blankly at your door, heart dropping to your abdomen for reasons you couldn’t come to terms with.
What have you done?
“Does this match the curtains?”
You were standing in the middle of the furniture and home decor section of Bloomingdale’s with Heeseung next to you. It was conveniently a Saturday evening right before a dinner plan at your apartment with your friends, but unlike any other Saturdays, it was your birthday. As a way to celebrate, you decided to treat yourself to new additions to your apartment’s decor, not without Heeseung’s presence though. Truthfully, it was an unconventionally weird way to celebrate yourself, but Heeseung was used to it, rather desensitized if he could argue.
“Realistically, you wouldn’t even display this on the coffee table, so let’s put this down,” Heeseung grabbed the quirky-looking monkey figure from your hand to place it back at its original position. “The duck you got last year is still rotting in your kitchen drawer,”
“Didn’t need to spoil my party,” you pouted, feigning hurt in hopes for Heeseung to take his words back, but he knew you a little too well, seeing through your patterns to ignore them. Instead, he threw an arm around your shoulder, pulling you closer to his side. The sudden physical proximity had turned you frozen under his touch for a split second, eventually easing into it like how you usually would be.
Acting wasn’t your forte. You’ve known that since your first and last musical appearance as tree number four in your middle school play. But lately, you found yourself being an Oscar winning actress pretending like the usual jokes or physical touches weren’t bugging you, hiding how that entire night had been bothering you since he left your apartment. Don’t get you started on your friends. You should win a Golden Globe alongside the Oscar for convincing them nothing special happened, that he sent you home and left right after. Yeah, you wished it transpired in that precise order.
That night was an emotional scar if you would put it one way or another. It was left painfully unanswered like a telephone call, neither you nor him addressed what went down, deciding to brush past whatever it was when you called each other ‘friends’ and that stifling tension between the both of you. Everything you could recall from that particular night became a frightful memory, marking a significant change in the course of your friendship. Although none of you had said anything about it, you were sure he could feel it just as you did. But of course, you chose to stay silent in fear it would affect your friendship with him, and he most likely shared the same sentiment, doing anything just to stay safe.
Basically, it summed up your whole friendship.
“So, how does it feel turning another year older?”
“Feels like shit,” you lamented, the idea of being closer to a mid-life crisis wasn’t exactly tasteful. Growing up, birthdays weren’t your favourite time of the year (truth be told, it was Christmas). Hey, what’s really so fascinating about getting older? Cakes, candles, balloons, those looked nicer in movies or parties for your friends rather than at your own party, it didn’t feel the same when it was for you.
“Hey, we got you your favourite cherry cake from that bakery downtown, so don’t get all pessimistic about your big day,” Oh, traditions, you loved them. Since your first year in New York, you’ve always gotten the same cake for your birthday, a cherry cake glazed with chocolate, heaven introduced in your mouth. With that cherry cake and your friends, those were all you needed for your birthday. Maybe also a call from your family.
“You know I get sappy whenever it’s my birthday, I can’t help it,” you innocently shrugged, but he didn’t buy it for a second time, he was aware of your minor disdain for your own birthdays, and he has made it known that he wanted to change that. “You can help if you get me this—” you grabbed a stuffed monkey toy from the display, parading it in front of Heeseung’s face obnoxiously, your shit-eating grin wasn’t supporting your argument. “It’s speaking to me,”
“How many more monkeys do you need in your apartment?”
“I don’t think I have enough,” to be fair, you had one sad and lonely monkey related item currently residing in your kitchen, which was the monkey clock, Marvin, a treasured item you named after Marvin the Martian from the Looney Tunes. Yunjin had maternal instincts towards the wee monkey; she has made it known since it appeared in the apartment. You reckoned it needed a friend in the house. “Marvin needs a companion,”
“Marvin’s mothers should pay more attention to him instead,”
“Or Marvin’s uncle can get him a sibling? Friend, perhaps?” you were pulling out the signature sweet tone you used for convincing someone, holding back a bark of laughter at how he had enough of your measly act. “Please?” you held the monkey plushie at eye-level, covering your face with it while pleading with Heeseung. In his point of view, you were a demon with horns poking out of your head who knew what trouble you were up to exactly, utilizing your strengths of winning him over.
Like a weak bastard that he very much was, he bought you the monkey plushie. He blamed himself for caving into your pleas, knowing damn well he was going to end up complaining to your friends only for them to hit him back with ‘you couldn’t say no to her’ yet again, which always successfully shut him up.
He was a weak-willed man, what can you say? But at the same time, this man also happened to be sly, and succeeded at moving under the radar. As you yapped away to Heeseung about the affordability of groceries, what you thought was a normal walk back to your apartment was actually a hidden plan of Heeseung preparing to bring you to your surprise party at the apartment. That’s right, Lee Heeseung planned a party for you with the help of your friends. And he was not screwing it up.
Coordination was hard to achieve when it came to dealing with your friends, that was another thing Heeseung had to learn the hard way. All that turned to nothing when he saw the smile on your face once the door to your apartment ripped open, revealing your friends, colleagues and some members of your family. Those gleaming eyes of yours stared right at him, emotions swirling within them, almost in denial that everyone you loved was there for you. It didn’t take you more than a second to know he was the one behind this, you just knew, which only choked you up further when you wrapped your arms around him, heart swelling in your chest.
“Thank you.” You whispered into his ears, arms tightening around him a little more. He said nothing, rubbing his palm on your back, a soft kiss lingered similar to a ghost on the top of your head. Soon, you pulled away, his hands on your waist stayed for a beat longer, almost in a desperate attempt to hold onto you a bit more. Your touch then left as quick as it came, imprinting into his memory like an addiction that was hard to overcome. He watched as you left his side to greet the guests and thank your other friends, a slight smile resting on his lips, feeling as though you were so close yet so far.
You surrounded yourselves with your friends, doing anything but acknowledging Heeseung’s gaze from across the room, convincing yourself that it meant nothing more than what it seemed. There were a few instances where you met his eyes, exchanging brief smiles, pretending that either one of you weren’t already looking at the other in the first place. At the end of the day, you and him were friends, just friends, nothing more, or that was what you said to yourself as a reminder, especially when your heart picked up a few paces quicker around him.
‘Grateful’ wasn’t close to describing how you felt that night. Good food, great companies, amazing cake, a rich collection of gifts, maybe turning another year older wasn’t as frightening as you thought it was. By the end of the evening, with all the guests gone, your friends leaving one by one, Yunjin calling an early night, you took it upon yourself to clean the apartment up, under the condition where Heeseung would lend you a helping hand.
“I still can’t believe you were the mastermind behind all this,” you expressed your surprise that never went away since the start of the party, throwing the cloth down as you finished wiping the countertop, the last part of your strategic cleaning plan. Joining Heeseung on the couch, resting your feet on top of the coffee table, you let out a breath of relief when you relaxed your body into the soft material.
“You have that little faith in me?” he turned to give you a small frown, extracting a breathy chuckle from you.
“Heeseung, you can’t even plan a trip to the dentist,”
“Ouch?”
You grinned, keeping your eyes on him a minute more before you spoke again, letting the peaceful silence calm the crashing waves in the midst of this storm. His gaze never wandered astray, focusing on you and solely you, the intensity of it nearly got you shifting uneasily in your seat. “Thanks for tonight, Hee, I mean it. You made it less scary to turn older,”
“I’m glad then,” there was a visible sign of relief flushing across his entire body, the time he spent planning hadn’t gone to waste. Everything had indeed worked out according to his favour, and getting to see you smile so widely during the cutting of your cake was the best part of it.
“I still haven’t got my present from you,”
“I know. I was hoping you’d ask me to stay,”
“You know I’ll always ask you to stay,”
One thing you didn’t manage to fathom then was the weight of your words and the consequences they carried. It might’ve been said carelessly and casually, but you meant it—deeply. A fraction of Heeseung’s smile faltered, an equal amount of realisation dawning on him, which was eventually deflected by resorting to a swift grab of your present from under the coffee table. A small box was presented to you in the palm of his hands, a red ribbon tied around it with a handwritten birthday card. His scribbly handwriting was distinct, you recognised it at once.
“Open it,” he egged you on, anticipating your reaction, an excited glint to his irises that sparked your curiosity. You shushed him for urging you, then settled into your own pace by unknotting the ribbon and opening the box slowly, your own expectations getting to you. Luckily, you were far from disappointed. On the contrary, you were taken aback from his choice of gift.
The content of the box revealed itself to be a gleaming silver chain with a small heart pendant. To others, it might seem like a typical birthday present, but you knew better. It wasn’t any ordinary necklace, you recognised it in a heartbeat, it was the one on display that you stopped to stare when you waited for Heeseung. You thought he hadn’t noticed that day, the two of you embarked on your walk as though you weren’t staring at the necklace through the shop window for at least five minutes.
“Really?” you gasped, eyes flitting between him and the necklace in your hands, wondering whether it was truly in your possession. You didn’t know which surprised you more, getting a piece of jewellery that you dreamt of or Heeseung paying attention to every minor detail when it came to you. You set the box down, pulling him into a hug without thinking twice. “You knew,”
“I saw you that day. You were looming around the window, staring at that particular necklace. I had a feeling you wouldn’t get it after you pretended not to care when I showed up,” you chuckled mainly out of embarrassment at how Heeseung read you to filth. That’s what you get for having a best friend. “I went back the next day and bought it. Thought it was out of a whim, I didn’t know how or when to give it to you, so I saved it for your birthday,”
He bought it with you in mind the entire time. One thing’s certain, you were touched, and very much emotional. He had successfully gotten you in your feels, but also simultaneously confused. Was this something friends do, you thought to yourself. You pulled away from him, arms still wrapped around his neck, the intimacy in this wasn’t expressed, but it was certainly felt and understood between you and him. “Thank you,”
“You’re welcome. I hope you like it,”
“I love it.” It wasn’t an extravagant piece, it was just right, something that screamed ‘you’. You were scared to pick it up and take it out of the box, admiring it just as you did at that shop window. Like always, Heeseung noticed every little shift in your demeanor, sensing your hesitance at once. He took the box from your hold, removing the delicate necklace from its position. One lift of his eyebrows conveyed an adequate message for you to turn around, sweeping your hair to the other shoulder, unintentionally holding your breath while you waited.
The cold chain sent small chills all over your body when it touched your skin, the sensation soon overpowered by the feeling of his fingers grazing against the back of neck as he fiddled with the clasp. His lackluster attempt was painful to endure, you had to grit your teeth while pretending it wasn’t bothering you, that none of this meant anything beyond the lines of friendship. That his act of buying you the necklace and putting it on you weren’t something for you to read into.
Suddenly, the heart pendant hanging on the necklace weighed heavier around your neck. While you tossed around in bed, all you could think of was Heeseung and the emotions stirred internally whenever you were around him, most of which you pushed down and prayed against. What more was needed for you to listen to your heart when he quite literally gave you his heart first? That necklace was him blatantly handing you his fragile heart, and you were cursed with the responsibility of carrying it with you all the time.
“You’re kidding me,”
Nothing was more comforting than a warm cup of coffee at your favourite coffee house the morning after. Then again, your peace was routinely ruined by your two preying best friends. Yunjin and Chaewon never wasted a second more to square down on you and attack like a hawk, edging you to the side of the sofa as you held onto your mug out of fear.
“He got you the necklace you’ve been eyeing for months,” Yunjin was eye-levelled with the necklace sitting on your chest, in between gawking and shocked, mostly unable to comprehend the layers of this situation. “And you never told him. He just did it because he wanted to,”
“I’m sick of the two of you circling each other!” Chaewon groaned, punching the pillows with pure frustration that wasn’t fueled by caffeine, gaining several customers’ attention. Her tiredness regarding this topic about you and Heeseung was equally shared by Yunjin, both girls stared at you with an unmistakable question splattered over their faces: ‘what are you going to do now?’
“We’re not. It’s nothing,” you muttered into your cup of coffee, avoiding every confrontation as though it were a plague chasing you. Each time you did so, you started to realise the walls were getting brittle and breaking down, that you could no longer say you and Heeseung were nothing with full confidence. Because frankly, you were beginning to doubt even yourself.
“If you’re really not into Heeseung, then prove it. Go on a double date,” Yunjin officially stood her ground, beyond being annoyed with her two best friends that were so obviously in love with each other till the point where it got suffocating, and everyone around them knew except for themselves. How did Cupid handle the stress of setting people up when she couldn’t bear seeing her two stupidly in love friends? Yunjin seriously considered if this would be worth it, but once her mind strayed to the thought of a wedding, she figured it might be.
“Where are you getting a double date for us anyway? Besides, it’s not going to work. We had double dates before, and I felt nothing seeing him with somebody else,”
“That was the past. We’re talking about now, Y/N. You can fool yourself by thinking you feel nothing for him, but we know better, your heart knows better,” Chaewon added, offering her two cents, earning Yunjin’s nod of approval. You scoffed, finding your friends a little too ridiculous for taking their methods up a notch.
“I already have your and Heeseung’s matches. They’re my friends from work. Jungwon and Wonyoung, remember? You met them at my party last summer,” Yunjin rubbed her hands, reminding you of those evil masterminds, the eager grin only convinced you of her secret plotting. Oh, this was definitely discussed with the rest of your friends without you nor Heeseung’s knowledge. How evil of them.
“I remember,”
“Great! I’ll set a dinner date this Saturday. Seven, at that Italian restaurant we always go to. How’s that?” Yunjin clapped, leg shaking out of sheer enthusiasm.
“Sounds good. I’ll show you—all of you—that I have no feelings for Lee Heeseung whatsoever. It’ll be another successful double date, I’m sure.”
Define ‘successful’.
If sitting opposite to Heeseung and his date who were overly engrossed with each other and being stuck with an awkward partner was deemed successful, then you’d consider yourself lucky.
Dinner started off eventful. A typical ice breaker was introduced to get to know one another, discovering everyone clicked pretty well, which tricked you into thinking it’d go well, but it seemed to plummet like a landslide. Jungwon was a nice guy, you’d admit it. Other than a handful of conversations exchanged, there was nothing much to your interactions with him, so you surrendered quickly, admitting to feeling absolutely no spark whatsoever. You figured he got the memo, likely sharing the same sentiment as you did as the two of you ate your respective pasta with a tinge of depression watching the other couple hit it off better in comparison.
“Y/N, how long have you known Heeseung?” Wonyoung was sweet, a princess even, and that wasn’t an exaggeration. You wouldn’t be surprised if Heeseung was actually enamoured with her at first sight. She was the epitome of perfection as a human. Smart and charming, she carried the night’s conversations with ease.
“A few years now, since I moved to New York,”
“So, you guys must be close, huh?”
You paused, hesitation stopping you when you briefly met his eyes, a first after a long time since the night began, realising you hadn’t talked to each other at all. You didn’t address it mentally, but you were sure it was a way of you avoiding him, isolating him unintentionally. Turning your attention back to Wonyoung, you forced a smile. “Yeah, we are,”
“She’s my neighbour, that’s how we first met,” Heeseung chimed in, bringing back a fond memory of yours. The first day you moved to the big city would always be something you held close to your heart. “I offered her a slice of pizza but she thought I was some sleazebag,”
That got a collective laughter from each of you. You shook your head, a faint smile ghosted your lips, reminiscing the moment that felt almost as though it had just happened a day prior. Wonyoung, on the other hand, seemed to be thoroughly amused by Heeseung, giggling a little harder than most while placing a hand on his forearm. “Which place did you get the pizza from? Not the one downtown, right?”
“Oh, no, never. I go to Joe’s Pizza all the time,”
“I love Joe’s! The pepperoni slice is a classic,”
“You get it!”
Pizza has continuously become the bane of your existence. A dough with cheese and some stupid toppings was enough to spark a heated conversation between Heeseung and Wonyoung, entrapping them in their own bubble for another time that night. What an eye sore. Jungwon turned to you, an unmistakable mix of pity and boredom in his face was recognised by you in an instant. Still, like the sweet guy he was, he tried to strike up a conversation.
“What’s your favourite movie?”
Thank God for a question you could have a passionate debate over. You beamed visibly, spine straightened with a thrilled grin, the only and obvious answer sitting on the tip of your tongue. “‘When Harry Met Sally’,”
Jungwon snapped his fingers eagerly, nodding in mutual agreement. At least there was one person who could agree on your choice of movie. “Good choice, Meg Ryan was fantastic in it. One of the best rom-coms of all time,”
You placed a hand on your chest, a little dramatically if you may add. “I appreciate you saying that. I agree,”
“I don’t mean to eavesdrop, but can I add something to this discussion?” Wonyoung interrupted, brushing some hair behind her ear. You held your tongue, fixing a practiced smile as a green light for her to continue. “I don’t understand the craze around that movie, I think there are better rom-coms out there,”
“Finally! Someone understands,” Heeseung laughed, throwing his hands up with a degree of satisfaction knowing there was another person out there who shared his dislike over your favourite movie. This only annoyed you further. Seeing him and Wonyoung getting along better than anticipated had gotten to your nerves initially, but hearing the two of them slander your favourite movie was close to crossing the line. To rub salt into your wound, Heeseung was completely aware about how the movie was your go-to every time. After all, he was there for most of your rewatches, seeing you laugh and cry to your favourite rom-com.
“It has beautiful shots, wonderful acting, amazing actors, an emotional plot, what more can you get?” Jungwon was standing his ground, which you learnt to admire. Now you know who to call for your next rewatch instead of Heeseung.
“I just don’t think best friends can fall in love after twelve years. That’s too long! It’s basically platonic at that point,” Wonyoung argued.
“Best friends can and do fall in love—” you started, finding the words tumbling out of you from sheer agitation, trying to present your point rather impulsively without thinking straight. Your eyes averted to Heeseung, just to discover him already staring at you in the first place, causing your throat to tighten up all of a sudden. “Regardless of time, it just … happens,” you faltered, realisation slowly dawning on you.
Your friends were right. ‘When Harry Met Sally’ was a guide this entire time, leading you to finally recognise your own feelings before it was too late. But you were indeed too late. You’ve wasted your time circling around the truth, afraid of facing it, until you were left to deal with the consequences. Here you were, watching him falling for someone else.
The table fell silent. You looked away from Heeseung, clearing your throat, putting on your millionth uncomfortable smile for the night. Well, you were always known for acting without thinking, or in this case, speaking without thinking, as you didn’t consider the gravity of hinting yourself potentially being in love with your best friend. A normal Saturday dinner, eh?
“How about dessert?”
If you had to go through another double date in the future, you’d rather swear off love than experience something similar again. In the restaurant’s restroom, standing before the mirror, you hoped the contents in your stomach wouldn’t be flushed down the toilet bowl by the end of the night. The thought of you being in love with Heeseung was close to sending you into a shock, coming to terms with it in the middle of dinner reasonably made things worse for you. Was this a sign to move to the countryside?
“You’re really lucky,” Wonyoung’s voice startled you out of your daze, her figure appearing next to you, washing her hands meticulously. That was very on brand of her, you expected no less. “It’s rare to have a friendship like that—you and Heeseung. I can tell that you care about each other a lot,”
“We do,”
“I should be thankful for Yunjin since she set this whole thing up. He’s a really good guy,”
You nodded, swallowing a growing lump in your throat, a prickling sensation growing stronger in your eyes. At that point, you could only utter a string of words, feeling overwhelmed with helplessness. “Yeah, he is. That’s Heeseung.”
Should you be thankful that dinner’s ended and the night was over after a dreadful long wait? You parted ways with Heeseung and Wonyoung, following Jungwon to his car as he insisted on dropping you home. The walk there was suffocating, a couple of small talks scattered here and there, neither one of you had the heart to expand anymore knowing it was leading to nowhere. All you could think of then was what the other couple would be up to. Was he bringing her to his favourite spot? Was he just dropping her off and leaving immediately? Endless possibilities followed by more overthinking.
“You’re in love with him, aren’t you?” Jungwon broke the silence with a question that pierced through you like the sharpest knife. What a conversation starter. You had a feeling he was more than what you assumed him to be. You came to a stop in the middle of the sidewalk, looking at him with an expression that gave off the impression of you being scandalized.
“Is it that obvious?”
“Yes,” there was barely any sugarcoating, he was straight to the point. The truth was deemed to be both beneficial and harmful to you in your weak and fragile state. “I have eyes, Y/N. I can see the way you look at him, and how you look at him when you think nobody’s watching,”
You were caught absolutely red handed, a big flashy spotlight pointed on you, telling the world that you’re fully guilty of being in love with your best friend. If a date that you’ve known for a few hours could see right through you, you couldn’t imagine what your friends had to deal with. Now you felt apologetic to them. “I guess I am,” you had nowhere to hide, what could you lose by being transparent with your date? “But I think I lost him,”
“If there’s one thing ‘When Harry Met Sally’ proved, it’s that you’re never too late,” Jungwon patted your arm in weak reassurance. “Or you can wait another ten years,”
You swatted at his hand, snorting lightheartedly. Rolling your eyes, you started walking again, letting him catch up to you.
“Oh, shut it. Drive me home.”
Was it bad to admit that you’ve been praying for the downfall of Heeseung’s relationship with Wonyoung? Apparently some DIY spell you got from Chaewon’s witch friend failed horrendously when the both of them showed up to dinner hosted by Yunjin at your own apartment. Maybe it was the one ingredient you swapped out that caused this.
This was the first time Heeseung brought her over. None of you had expected this. After your horrendous double date experience, Heeseung made it known that he was seeing her further, but no labels were established for now. You’ve been keeping your distance from him, convincing yourself you shouldn’t be close to a guy friend that had a potential girlfriend out of respect. However, deep down, you knew the truth that it was only because you wanted to avoid getting hurt less.
“What do you think about Wonyoung?” you whispered to Yunjin as you helped her prepare the dishes in the kitchen. Jake, Jay and Chaewon were loitering in the living room with the couple, overly invested in Wonyoung’s stories. It was the first time you had some privacy since the two of them arrived. She was introduced to the others, sparking a conversation soon after, successfully charming them as a result. It was no question she had won them over in a snap of a finger.
“I think she’s great. Really funny and smart,” Yunjin was focused on assembling the lasagna to commit to a sudden discussion about her work friend, her hands were full with bolognese sauce and bechamel, she didn’t have more space for your feelings. “There’s a reason why I set her up with Heeseung, I thought they’d be a match, and I was right. Sorry about Jungwon though, he’s not usually that shy,”
“I figured,” you mumbled, recalling the journey back home consisted of him explaining to you how he didn’t want a relationship since he had freshly broken up with his girlfriend. What was the luck between you and men that weren’t over their exes? At least he bought you some ice cream on the way home, and also accepted your invite to a ‘When Harry Met Sally’ movie night. A new friend gained wasn’t a complete loss. “But seriously, what do you think of them together?”
“I think … it’s alright? Gosh, I don’t know, Y/N. It’s too early to know, I can’t tell if they will or will not work out,” Yunjin gave a truthful answer to your question, but it wasn’t one that you wanted. She narrowed her eyes at you with a tinge of suspicion. “Why?”
“It’s nothing,”
“Don’t start, Y/N,” Yunjin sighed, walking over to the sink to wash the mess on her hands, in preparation to deal with your mess. She popped the lasagna into the oven, a hand propped on her hip, staring at you with an unhappy frown. “You told me nothing happened that night. You said you didn’t want to talk about it. So, why now?”
“Because I realised I am in love with him,”
“Oh,” Yunjin exhaled, blinking robotically at you, losing her grip on her hip. Stunned might be an understatement, a total opposite of a reaction you’d expected from her. Horrified would probably be a better description of how she looked gawking at you, nothing seemed to come from her mouth. “When? When … did you realise?”
“That night at the restaurant. I suppose you’re right all along,” your revelation didn’t help Yunjin’s case either, her jaw significantly dropping more. She hand flew to her temples, rubbing them with creases deepening between her eyebrows. “I thought I was fine, but when I saw him with her, I … felt it in my heart for the first time. Heartbreak. Your plan worked,”
“I didn’t mean to—”
“I know, Jen, I’m not putting the blame on anybody. It’s my fault. Just mine,” you rested your back against the wall, your hand hidden behind your back as it twisted into a fist. “Don’t worry, I’m not going to do anything. If Heeseung’s happy now, it’s fine. You know how unlucky he is with dates,”
The initial frustration worn off entirely, soon replaced with sadness in Yunjin’s eyes, her face slackened, shoulders sagging. She slowly approached you, arms extending towards you. “Y/N—”
You caught onto them, giving her your best smile, thinking it could assure her, but you had a feeling it turned out slanted and half-hearted. On your best days, you could be an award winning actress for pretending you weren’t hurt. This wasn’t one of those days, unfortunately. “Let’s start dinner.”
Lasagna couldn’t cheer you up. Neither could Yunjin’s signature pasta pull a decent smile from you. You blended into the background throughout dinner, offering nothing but several chuckles and nods, keeping your eyes away from your source of demise. There were a few occasions where you felt his eyes lingering on you, it didn’t help that they lasted for more than an appropriate amount of time, pleading for you to respond to him in any way possible. Resisting him was hard.
Safe to say, you survived dinner and the dessert after. You owed it to the many rounds of red wine from the bottle Jake brought. Heeseung left the apartment with Wonyoung to walk her down to her cab, which left the apartment to you and your friends to tidy while also discussing whatever’s gathered in everyone’s minds for the entirety of the night. It was a common debriefing ritual you and your friends had once a new partner was introduced.
“Wonyoung’s amazing,” Jay shared, starting the discussion as he picked up the plates to hand them to Yunjin.
“Are you saying that because you actually think so or it’s because she’s pretty?” Chaewon pointed the dishwand accusingly at Jay, soap flowing down the handle.
“Do you really think I’m that shallow—nevermind, don’t answer that,” he stopped her at the moment she opened her mouth to retort, realising he was never a match for her and her quippishness. “Still, I think she’s wonderful. She can mimic a bird’s cry. How fun is that?”
The others let out a chorus of agreement. Yunjin, in particular, glanced at you warily, visibly distressed and worried about both your mental and physical states. You said nothing, continuing with your task of storing the dishes, which you held back from smashing. Note to self, you needed a better outlet for getting rid of pent up emotions.
“Y/N, are you okay? You’ve been very distant since the start of dinner,” Jake took the plate from your hand to store it on your behalf. He closed the cupboard door, pulled your hand to lead you away and sat you on the couch. You weren’t surprised Jake had caught onto you from the get-go. He was always smart, even emotionally. The rest of your friends soon swarmed the area, waiting for you to pour out your anguish.
“I’m not feeling well, that’s all,” you were running away yet again. Scared, terrified to go anywhere near being vulnerable in front of your closest friends, stripped bare to admit you were in love with one of them while hoping it wouldn’t change anything.
“Y/N,” Yunjin’s tone was hard, stern almost, with a tinge of disappointment as though she couldn’t believe you were trying to escape from your own feelings, something everyone there was familiar with. Your name was spewed out in a way where she was begging you to face the very thing you avoided till you were forced to face. To your dismay, this puts you on the spot with many eyes staring at you in confusion.
“Fine,” that was a response directed to Yunjin, you had your eyes locked with hers before scanning the circle created around you. Each of them were waiting for your next word. It was either this or letting the truth eat you alive. “I’m in love with Heeseung,”
What was expected to be an explosive reaction turned out to be … nothing? Jay, Jake and Chaewon all looked at one another, exchanging glances with Yunjin as well, then every one of their heads spun to focus on you. It felt like there were stage lights shining on you, your friends being the audience, and you, maybe a clown. The seconds stretched on for what seemed like forever as silence ensued.
“We know,” Jay broke the stiff atmosphere. You—mildly confused, whereas understanding and relief washed over your friends. They started laughing, rejoicing and high-fiving each other. If you didn’t know better, you would’ve assumed they won a price instead.
“Should I be shocked that you guys were in on this the whole time?”
“Yunjin and I already told you, didn’t we? We’ve all been waiting for one of you to break,” Chaewon clapped gleefully, her voice going another pitch higher from pure excitement.
“And it had to be me,” you mumbled, the thought of your feelings potentially being one sided was soul crushing. After your friends convinced you that it was mutual, your expectations were sky high, and you were not ready for them to be crushed.
“Heeseung will come around,” Jake threw out a futile assurance. You winced at that, giving him a display of your pained frown.
“He’s seeing someone now—Wonyoung, who you all love. I can’t ruin that, you guys know that,”
“We do,” Yunjin moved from her position to sit next to you, laying her head on your shoulder. You held onto her arm, squeezing it for a silent ‘thank you’ for the times she stuck by you. “No matter what happens, we’ll be here for you,”
There came another chorus of shared support from your friends who huddled around you. Their energy had given you a shred of hope, bringing a smile to your face for the first time in a while that night, a little more positive that nothing would completely change in the dynamics of your friend group. That was once proven as per Yunjin and Chaewon with their confessions of messing around with the other two men in the group.
“Wait,” Jake stood up, interrupting the current emotional mood. The room fell into another round of silence. “I hate to ruin our little moment, but I think Heeseung’s coming,”
The mention of his name caused every one of them to turn to you, panic arising almost in an instant. You could only stare back, downfounded and powerless. It’s not like they could expect you to profess your love to Heeseung just because you disclosed it to them. “What do I do?”
“Talk to him,” Yunjin suggested the obvious solution, not that it helped or made it any better.
“But I’ve been avoiding him!” you forgot about that part, guilt began to crawl into your system at the memories of you evidently dodging him. Everything that went down with the date gave you the heebie-jeebies, how you shunned him, and dropped a lowkey hint of being in love with your best friend, a.k.a., him! It would be impossible for him to not realise your absence. He’s good at catching onto tiny details.
“That’s our cue to leave you and him alone. Just talk! You always talked to him. It’s Heeseung, just Heeseung,” that’s the problem. It’s Heeseung, your best friend. It’s not an everyday activity for someone to come to the conclusion of liking their best friend romantically and profess their love for them.
Chaewon ushered the others to get to their feet, pushing them towards Yunjin’s room as a site of hideout now that it was too late for them to leave. You couldn’t tell if you were hearing the sound of Heeseung’s footsteps approaching or if you were mistaking it for your own heartbeat thundering in your ears. The noises of keys jangling and the door unlocking that followed after were unmistakable.
“Shit, he’s here,” that was what you last heard from Chaewon before she shoved Jay and his nosy-self into the room, slamming the door shut just in time for Heeseung to enter the threshold. He stopped at the sight of you in the middle of an empty apartment, looking at you with a sense of disbelief that it was truly you who was standing in front of him.
“Hi,” you said quietly, arms sticking close to your sides, afraid of moving or taking a step forward. Heeseung placed his keys on the counter, but stayed in his original position by the door.
“Hey,” he began, still not closing the space between you and him. When did it become this awkward to be around him? You felt like an alien who newly landed on Earth, interacting with the first human you came across, the situation was that extreme. It was easy for you to be around Heeseung, but you couldn’t say the same this time. “Where are the others?”
“They went over to yours. Jay needed help on something, I don’t know what it is,” you should be awarded for not crumbling under pressure. The lie flew out of your mouth in a natural manner. Heeseung didn’t suspect it, going along with your white lie.
“How was dinner?”
“It was okay,”
“You were quiet the entire time,”
“I’m not feeling well,”
“Sick?”
“Not in the mood,”
Heeseung slipped his hands into the pockets of his pants, nodding his head silently, lips pressed tightly together. He wasn’t letting any of his reactions show, purposely holding them back. You couldn’t figure out where this was heading, neither did he. “What do you think of Wonyoung?”
There it was. The golden question. You’ve been waiting for it, thinking if you got to steer clear of Heeseung, you’d never have to hear it. Predictions weren’t correct all the time. You knew he would eventually pop the question to you when you’re the only one in the group who has yet to express approval of Wonyoung. It just had to be at this moment.
“She’s alright,”
His nostrils flared, eyebrows twitching out of habit. His patience was wearing thin, the initial annoyance you sensed since he entered the room intensified. “That’s it? That’s all you’ve got to say after weeks of avoiding me? Two word answers?”
“What do you want me to say?”
“The truth!” Heeseung raised his voice, footsteps heavy on the ground as he crossed the room towards you, stopping behind the couch, standing opposite you with it as a barrier in the middle. What his eyes reflected contradicted his anger. Sadness and desperation made up most of them. They searched for yours, seeking for answers and reasons as to why you were acting out of character.
“I don’t think she’s good for you,”
“Why?”
“Just … just because,”
“That’s not an answer, Y/N,”
What other answer could you give that wouldn’t sound like you were the villain in his story trying to break him and his love interest up? Every possible narrative couldn’t and wouldn’t work, not for you anyway.
“I know you,”
“And what do you know about what’s good for me?” Heeseung demanded, the hurt in his voice was evident, punctuating your heart like a stake, beating you down to depths lower than where you already were. “You don’t get to say that,”
“That’s not fair,”
“She’s a good person, Y/N. I think I deserve that at least,”
You swallowed, not expecting the truth to be thrown directly into your face by the person you were scared to hear it from. It was real, your nightmare of losing him due to your mistakes was coming to life right before you, reminding you that you were far too late. “You’re right. You deserve every bit of it, Heeseung,” his name tasted foreign on your tongue, no more nicknames or the hidden love that came with it, just stale integrity. “I wish you nothing but happiness,”
You didn’t try to hide the shakiness in your voice, nor the tears building up that you were doing your best to blink away. The tightness in your throat took away your speech, losing the ability to speak beyond that. You were being selfish, and you were getting punished for that along with your foolishness for your ignorance to your feelings.
“Thank you.” he forced through his teeth with enough finality to know this was the last thing he’d say to you that night. You couldn’t bring yourself to reply, mouth opening for a moment just for nothing to follow through, using most of your willpower to hold your tears back instead. He shook his head, a visible sign of disappointment at you losing the strength to fight for whatever this situation of being more friends but less than lovers was between you and him.
Heeseung took a full look at you for a little longer, his shielded gaze never left your teary one, as though he himself was afraid of letting you go. That was when he knew he had to leave or else he would end up staying like how he always did. He turned his back on you, heading for the door and picking up his copy of the key along the way. There was a few seconds where he stalled at the door, hand on the doorknob, breathing heavily.
Hope wasn’t a powerful tool for you to keep him longer. He was leaving, and there was nothing you could do to stop him, or reverse the pain you’ve caused. Heeseung turned the doorknob and left with the door slamming behind him, leaving you stranded alone to pick up the pieces of your heart. Punching you or hurling insults might’ve hurt less compared to this.
You didn’t register your emotions until the floodgates came pouring down your cheeks, knees becoming weaker as you found yourself losing balance. The entire exchange had wrecked you out of consciousness, unaware of your friends slowly making their way out of Yunjin’s room, listening in on the mess that went down moments ago. The embarrassment doubled, but you were too busy crying to care. You melted into their arms as they surrounded you to console you, and it reminded you of the exact time you cried into their embrace when your first boyfriend in New York broke up with you. Never in a million years you would predict doing the same for one of your best friends.
Almost was never enough. You were a step too late, and a step over the line.
90 days.
That was how long since you’ve last spoken to Heeseung. Back in the day, three hours was the longest gap you went without speaking to him, not three months. Besides the occasional greetings in the hallway or bumping into each other at the coffee shop, neither of you sparked a full conversation. As a result of your fight, it had tremendously affected your friends who became collateral damage in the midst of it. The best way to simplify the dynamic of your friend group at the current moment was them taking turns to hang out with either of you. Pathetic, wasn’t it?
In some sick twisted way to get you out of your slump, Yunjin introduced you to her other, much senior colleague, Jeon Jungkook. If only you weren’t simultaneously so infatuated and heartbroken over your friend, you would’ve had your heart set on him. Unfortunately, that’s not how feelings worked. You were honest about it to Jungkook since your first meeting with him, and being the sweetheart he was, he understood. That didn’t stop you from being friends with him. He was probably the second closest friend you’ve hung out with besides your own friends.
October 31st rolled around, a monumental day for you and your friends who loved the arts of costumes and throwing parties. Yunjin and Chaewon chose to host this year’s Halloween party at your apartment. A special addition to the party was a costume contest, where the winner gets a hundred dollar prize reward. Perhaps Jungkook appeared in your life at the perfect timing.
“Do I have to wear a blond wig for this?” Jungkook held up the wig you got for him reluctantly after he agreed to be the Fred to your Daphne from Scooby Doo.
“It’s too late to go back on your word now,” you tossed him your ginger wig. He wasn’t in on this alone anyway. You left him sulking on the couch to join Yunjin and Chaewon, both of whom were busy preparing in the kitchen.
“Fred and Daphne?” Yunjin laughed at your choice of characters, earning a firm slap on her shoulder from you. You didn’t wrack your brain day and night for nothing, it was a good and safe option to go for in your defense.
“It’s cute. I aim to be the best dressed tonight,”
“Do I have your permission to flirt with your date?” Chaewon slid up next to you, finally daring to ask the question she’s been holding back since forever. You had a feeling she was eyeing him from the moment you confirmed he was just a friend.
“By all means, have a go,”
“Hey, you know Heeseung will be at the party tonight, right? Just a heads up,” Yunjin wasn’t laughing anymore, her tone both serious and solemn. You couldn’t blame her nor your friends for being exhausted of you and Heeseung’s strained friendship, having to adapt to that and a new routine now that you were avoiding each other. “I’m quite sick of this, you know that? You guys are so childish! Instead of saying sorry, you chose to not talk for three months,”
She had a point. You hated that.
“It’s complicated,”
“It’s always been complicated between you and Heeseung. How about this? Make it less complicated and apologise to him first. I still remember you crying and feeling guilty about what went down that night,”
“You didn’t have to call me out directly, I got it,” you grumbled at the memory you cringed at every time Yunjin brought it up as a defence mechanism. Yes, you regretted your behaviour, half remorseful for the things you’ve said, but it wasn’t a common practice for you to apologise first. Whenever you and Heeseung had a fight, it was down to two things: Heeseung apologising first or the both of you sweeping past it. This time, however, both seemed undoable. To muster the courage for you to confront him and apologise, it took time. Maybe a bit too long. “I’ll see what I can do tonight.”
Trying to distract yourself from your anxiety by helping Yunjin and Chaewon serve refreshments dressed in a full Daphne costume was the least effective method to ease stress. With every guest walking past your door, your heart skipped a beat hoping the next one would be him. Your friends’ costumes at the very least got a smile and some laughter out of you. Jay and Jake were dressed as members from the rock band, KISS; Yunjin decided to go all out and paint herself blue as Smurfette, matching blonde wigs with Jungkook; Chaewon, with the assistance of you and Yunjin, stuffed herself into a latex catwoman suit which took almost half-an-hour to get into. It wasn’t a dull Halloween after all.
“Need help?” Jungkook took the platter of refreshments from you, giving you no room to argue. You smiled at him as a wordless ‘thank you’, coming at the right time to save you from any more small talks.
“My Fred in shining armour, or shining blond wig?” you giggled, reaching your hand forward to touch his wig, the coarseness of it proved the reason why it was only three dollars. He swatted at your hand, rolling his eyes at your endless teasing.
“I think I actually look good in it, thank you very much,” he dismissed your snark comment easily, you forgot he had a swollen ego in the first place. He pulled onto your arm, urging you to follow him as he served refreshments on your behalf. “You’re waiting for him, aren’t you?”
“What?”
“Don’t pretend. I see the sadness in your eyes, Y/N,” Jungkook had talents of looking through your bullshit on par with Yunjin. There was no point fighting what was true, you chose to silently nod. “Speak to him tonight, please, for your sake, for his and your friends’ sake. Even for me! You’ve been keeping that apology in you for months, it’s time for you to tell him,”
“Is it really a good time to do so?”
“There’s never a perfect time. It’s now or never. I know it’s been eating you up, Y/N. Do this for yourself,”
You considered Jungkook’s advice deeply. He wasn’t wrong, he never was, it came with his perfect traits. You were quite frankly done with running away, even if you were chasing pavements, an apology wouldn’t hurt to settle the troubles in your heart, it might even help you take another step from the position you were stuck in. You patted his shoulder in earnest appreciation. Jungkook could just cement his place to be your crime solving buddy, or in this context, a problem solving buddy.
“Care for a drink?” Chaewon swept in at the right moment with a couple glasses of homemade martinis. It was your cue to leave, not without one of her signature martini though. You took one last look at your two friends, knowing Chaewon would soon work her magic on an oblivious Jungkook, then you made your way to the balcony, in dire need of some air and time alone.
You listened to the sound of New York traffic, taking small sips from your martini, overlooking the skyline of the city. The part which stings the most was coming to the realisation that you and Heeseung would often occupy this exact spot any time a party was thrown at your apartment. Whenever the space got stuffy and too many guests were present, the two of you would run to the balcony, have a few cigarettes, drink, and talk. You wouldn’t notice the party had ended by the time you and him were done with your hide out. Now, there was another party that you’ve successfully escaped, except he wasn’t beside you like how it was supposed to be.
“Missing trick or treat?”
Your blood nearly ran cold at the voice coming from behind you. One hand holding tightly onto your glass, the other gripping onto the ledge of the balcony in case your legs failed you. You didn’t need to confirm the owner of the voice, having heard it for just about every day for years on end.
“I think I’m too old for that now,” you felt the familiar warmth belonging to the only person you’ve dreaded all night joining your side, a safe distance was still maintained between you and him.
“You’re never too old for anything,”
“Touche,” you looked over at Heeseung, stifling your laughter when you saw his costume. A classic black tuxedo paired with a bow tie around his neck, hair slicked back, a sleek metallic watch around his wrist, a ridiculously looking toy gun as a prop in his hand. You would be lying to yourself if you didn’t admit how handsome he was despite being in costume. “James Bond. You weren’t kidding when you said that’s your costume this year,”
“I was never kidding,”
“I’m guessing Sean Connery’s James Bond?”
“One and only,” he stood up straight to display the excellence of his costume, giving you a playful 180 look just so you could see the entirety of his suit, at last posing with the gun as a cherry on top. It was impossible not to laugh when he’s trying this hard to get into character. “You think Daphne can assist James Bond in solving crimes?”
“I think Daphne’s going to stick to solving mysteries, not track down criminals or assassins,”
“I saw Fred inside. Your date, I assume,”
“My friend,” you corrected consciously, noting the mild hostility when he mentioned Jungkook. You simply couldn’t fathom the idea of Heeseung being threatened by another man.
“You’ve been hanging with him a lot,”
“What is it to you?” you snapped, harsher than you intended to, immediately feeling guilty. You couldn’t shake off the sense that he’s trying to get back at you in some unexplainable way.
“Nothing,” you knew he was lying, seeing him clenching his jaw right after saying that had given him away. Time and time again, he underestimated how well you understood him and his little quirks.
“Where’s your date then, Bond? Where’s the famous Bond girl? ”
Heeseung stared off into the city, a quiet but audible sigh leaving his lips before he said anything. Clearly, there was trouble in paradise. You wanted to take your words back, worried it might’ve crossed another line, but he beat you to it with an answer. “She’s at her place,”
He didn’t expand beyond that simple reasoning, making it much more suspicious than it should be. You didn’t pry, and accepted it with a nod. You assumed she wasn’t a big fan of parties, or at least Halloween, not that you would judge. You let the silence sit longer than it’s supposed to, the traffic in the background filling the gaps in between. It was now or never, before the damage became irreversible.
“I’m sorry for that night. I was out of line. I do think she’s brilliant, and I want you to be happy,” you turned to look at him, but as always, he was already staring at you in the first place. The martini was no help in suppressing your emotions. If anything, it was amplifying them. You could feel tears welling up at the edge of your eyes. “I mean it. I hate that we’re not talking, and I hate the thought of losing you more,”
Heeseung wet his lips, hanging his head, chest rising and falling erratically. He glanced up after a pause, nodding slowly, a tight-lipped smile appearing. “Thank you,” he meant it this time, genuine, but also stiff and restricted. “You’re never going to lose me, Y/N,”
“Truce?”
“Truce,” he drank out of his glass of martini, returning his attention back to the view of the city, but you kept yours on him, not that he mind. “Here we are again, bailing on a party,”
“Some things never change, do they?” you smiled, yet it didn’t reach your eyes entirely, the sadness in your face bled into every part of your body, all of which went unnoticed by Heeseung. Although you were done setting the argument aside, the apology getting accepted didn’t smoothen the roughness to you and Heeseung’s relationship. Some lingering tension still remained unaddressed. You could feel it, you doubted if Heeseung didn’t. “Should we head in? They’re announcing the winners of the contest.”
It wasn’t the right time to talk about it. You didn’t know if there ever was one.
You and Jungkook ended up missing first prize by a large margin, getting just a box of chocolate as a consolation prize. On the bright side, Jay and Jake won the night’s best costume, earning a hundred dollars which you would undoubtedly convince them to spend on you. The night came to an end at around midnight. Even though all of your friends were exhausted, they stayed to clean as usual, cracking open another round of beers as a side reward.
You were too busy sending Jungkook off by the door to realise a pair of eyes staring pointedly at you from a distance. As Heeseung collected the bottles and cups from the living room area, his gaze followed your every movement around Jungkook, a cup nearly fell out of his hand at some point watching you hug him. He walked over to Chaewon, dropping the volume of his voice. “Are they really just friends?”
“If they weren’t ‘just friends’—” Chaewon made a motion with her hands, “would she have allowed me to flirt with him all night?” she blinked blankly at Heeseung, who had furrowed eyebrows that were twitching slightly. “God, you guys are so annoying, and frustratingly stupid. Why must I be subjected to this?” she threw her hands up in defeat, hypothetically waving a white flag in surrender. Sparing him no more chance to speak, she walked away just in time for you to return from your farewell to your beloved Fred.
“What’s up with her?” you mumbled as Chaewon stormed past you, grumbling somewhere along the lines of ‘misunderstandings’ and ‘get together already’. You took the bag filled with trash from Heeseung, handed it to Jay—still in his black and white face paint—for him to throw out. The apartment was mostly clean, lacking a bit of deep cleaning that you’d get to the next day. For now, you were content with your friends’ company and a cold bottle of beer.
“You know, I think I owe you an apology too,” it was only you and Heeseung at the kitchen table, you weren’t expecting another apologetic conversation to happen over some beer, but you didn’t complain. “I shouldn’t have stopped talking to you. I was angry and scared. I’m sorry,” he took a swig of his beer, his other hand was knocking on the wooden table. “And I’m sorry I wasn’t there for your mum’s birthday,”
One sacred secret you and Heeseung kept hidden from your other friends was this. It started with you inviting Heeseung to your hometown for a family event as your plus one. Looking back at it now, it was far more intimate compared to what you made it out to be. Not even every person would bring their partners to meet their family. Your family absolutely loved him, insisting on him to join them for every family occasion there was. Since then, he has been there for most birthdays.
In turn, it would only be fair if you got introduced to his family. Hence, he brought you to meet his family soon after he met yours, continuing on the tradition of joining each others’ family occasions. You were at his parents’ birthdays, and he was there for yours. It was your thing with Heeseung for years until he broke the streak in the months of you not speaking. You still remembered your mother asking for him, just for you to create a lame excuse of him being busy with work, having no courage to tell them the truth.
“You’re forgiven,” you clinked his beer bottle with yours, the sharp sound made the brief quietness which followed after less painful. “I guess we’re both equally at fault here,”
“I guess we are,” he fidgeted with his bottle, never letting his gaze falter from you for a second, as though he was making up for the moments he missed. “Your mum still wants me around, right?”
“Oh please, she was wondering where you were. You’re very missed,”
“I’m glad to hear,”
“And I’m not glad to have stroked your ego,”
You and him burst out laughing, clinking your bottles once more and taking a swift gulp out of it. Both of you sighed together in satisfaction from the taste of cold beer on your tongues, eliciting scattered giggles at that phenomenon. You never realised how much you’ve missed him. Forget about love and your feelings, you missed having him around as a friend. It hurts more deeply than you thought having someone from your everyday life disappear in an instant.
Before you could dwell on such melancholic thoughts, the rest of your friends came flooding around the table, forcing open the fridge to bring more bottles out. You met Yunjin’s eyes, a knowing look on her face told you she was highly aware of you and Heeseung’s ‘little moment’ alone. Of course, you wouldn’t doubt her, she was known to be a surveillance camera that scans through the entire premise. You gave her a nod, and that was a sufficient message for her to understand all was well.
“Who’s ready to drink?”
Yunjin’s definition of a ‘fun Saturday night’ was the complete opposite of what you had in mind.
You had a feeling you were an old woman in your past life for thinking a night in with some pizza, snacks, and board games would satisfy the criteria of a ‘fun Saturday’. However, your friends didn’t share the same idea. That was why you were all dressed up, sitting by the bar counter with no intentions to drink while Yunjin and Chaewon were busy downing shots after shots. Call you a buzz kill, but you weren’t stumbling out drunk. You were happy with your virgin mojito.
“What do you think the boys are doing tonight?” Yunjin was still admirably sober in spite of the amount of alcohol she consumed. She and her high alcohol tolerance should be investigated.
“Watching TV,” you assumed, mostly based on how you last saw them huddled in Heeseung and Jay’s apartment, tuning into another episode of ‘Seinfeld’ before all of you left for the bar.
“Oh, really? Then why do I see them approaching us,” Chaewon had a better angle of the door given her seating position. At that, you and Yunjin whipped your heads towards the door, disbelief fueling your system. When you told them of your plans, you weren’t expecting them to crash it.
“They really have to stop following us to girls’ night,” Yunjin groaned, returning a wave to Jake begrudgingly. It wasn’t the first time they appeared at girls’ night. You’d think they wouldn’t do it again, but clearly, it was your fault for thinking that way.
“No invite?” Jay made a weeping expression, trying his best to wedge himself in between Chaewon and Yunjin, resulting in them pushing him away.
“Are you guys eligible for girls’ night?” Chaewon deadpanned, sighing aloud.
“If you remove all the testosterone from our bodies, then maybe,” Heeseung slid into the seat next to yours, making himself comfortable as he actively ignored your disapproving gaze.
You switched your focus onto him, letting the others’ bickering fade into the background. He swiftly ordered his usual drink, gin on rocks, then looked at you, cocking an eyebrow with some extent of expectation that you’d start questioning him endlessly. Well, he was right.
“You don’t like coming out to bars unless something has happened. Tell me, which one of you got your heart broken?”
Heeseung laughed, realising you had a point. There was a reason why the both of you could click easily. You and him shared equal dislike for loud and crowded places, finding them overwhelming. “I did,”
“What?”
“I ended it with Wonyoung. Not that it had a label in the first place, but … I just thought it was time to stop,” out of everything you prepared yourself mentally to hear, this piece of information was the last you thought to receive. “It was amicable, don’t worry,”
“But why?”
“We don’t click. That’s it. I thought we did, but I was wrong,” he shrugged, thanking the bartender for the drink, wasting no time in taking a sip of it. “My heart wasn’t there. I think I left it some place else,” he left his heart with you, in the form of a chain which sat around your neck, tucked beneath your blouse.
“So the first thing you thought of was to come here and drink?”
“Wasn’t my idea. Jay insisted on coming after he heard about your plan,”
“That is very on brand of him,” you snorted, expecting nothing less of Jay for wrecking havoc whenever he had the chance to. “Are you doing okay?”
“I’m fine. I expected it at some point, so I suppose it hurts less this way,” Heeseung’s lack of expression made it hard to decipher what he was thinking, forcing you to guess while also treading carefully in unknown territory. “You’re right all along,” you didn’t reply, and waited for him to continue, a part of you cringed at the thought of the incident. Turns out, the projection of your jealousy wasn’t entirely wrong. “I knew we couldn’t work out when she said she didn’t like you guys—don’t be mad—except for Yunjin, I guess? How can I have someone who can’t stand my friends?”
“And to think we were actually rooting for her,” you were disappointed, but not surprised. There was always a feeling in your gut about Wonyoung regardless of your spiteful claim. You hated to be proven right in this context. At the same time, you’d also be lying if you said it didn’t provide some sense of satisfaction to you.
“What doesn’t kill you make you stronger,”
“Cheers to that,” you held up your glass, to which Heeseung gladly clinked. You shot him a quick smile before sipping your mocktail, looking at him with a little too much emotion in your eyes which you couldn’t contain. If you didn’t know better, they might’ve come off as heart eyes. You made sure to glance away for a hot minute when Heeseung put down his glass, he mustn’t see you in your weakest state.
“Look, I need a quick trip to the restroom. Wait for me. Maybe or maybe not, we can dip to get some of our favourite late night snacks,”
“Abandoning our friends? That’s evil,” you whispered, so that the others wouldn’t hear. Judging from their chaotic talking and continuous drinking, you doubted they would notice for even a bit. “I’m down,”
“Give me five minutes.”
Your eyes followed him into the crowd until he disappeared around the corner. Up till that moment, you were finally able to breathe more comfortably, feeling partially restrained by the unusual tension wedged in your dynamic with Heeseung. Although your friendship with him was mostly recovered, you still couldn’t shake off some persisting tension. It was sticking out like a sore thumb. The rest of the group were busy with their ongoing drinking game, dumping the two of you aside from the get-go, so you sat peeking over Yunjin’s shoulder to watch them play, minding your business with your drink in hand.
“Can I buy you a drink?”
So much for minding your own business. You turned at the sound of a stranger’s voice along with a tap on your shoulder, soon met with the face belonging to a handsomely charming man. As far as looks could get him, occupying a seat which was visibly taken based on the drink in its position on the counter wasn’t a good first impression. For the sake of courtesy, you offered a smile.
“Sorry, but the seat’s taken,” it was an indirect ‘no’, the nicest way you could put it without being harsh. Sparing him some embarrassment on his part was humane in your opinion, but apparently, rejection wasn’t an answer this man was willing to accept. The second you saw a switch in the way his face was screwed into, you peacefully realised trouble was imminent.
“I’m just trying to be nice, miss. I think a drink isn’t that big of a problem, no?”
“I appreciate it, but I’m not interested in accepting,”
“Really, one drink, that’s all,”
You were starting to cower in fear, gradually shrinking into your seat. “Sorry, no,”
“What’s going on?” Yunjin slurred behind you, the effects of alcohol evidently caught up to her. The activities happening within your circle of friends had halted at the minor commotion between you and this man who wouldn’t leave you alone. You and all of your friends had gotten to your feet in caution. They. in particular, were instantly poised for action if physical extraction was necessary.
“This guy wouldn’t go away,”
The man scoffed, removing himself off the high stool to stand on all ten toes as well. “I’m trying to get to know your friend. I’m offering to buy her a drink,”
“Hey man, she said ‘no’,” Heeseung couldn’t have chosen a better time to return. Without a single question asked, he was the first to leap into action. He instinctively put himself between you and the man, which unintentionally fueled the situation as it did nothing but agitated the man more. The man stepped closer to Heeseung, sizing him up as if it would successfully intimidate him. Heeseung didn’t like that at all, the mild twitch in his jaw gave his annoyance away. He held out his hand to put a distance between them. “Back off, dude,”
“And who are you?”
Heeseung’s attempt at mediating the escalating situation wasn’t looking very bright. He didn’t answer—totally the wrong move—so, the man continued closing in on him. You came to the conclusion that the man was purposefully making things worse by ticking Heeseung off. And he had indeed fallen into the trap before you could warn him. He was left with no other choices but to push the man on his shoulder in order for the man to fall back. “It’s none of your business. You should leave,”
While still standing behind Heeseung, you pulled at his sleeves, trying to get his attention even though you sensed his anger rising, and there was a high chance he couldn’t hear you past it. “Heeseung, I think we should go—”
“So, you’re protecting this bitch—”
A fist collided with the man’s cheek in a blur. Heeseung undeniably saw red, every ounce of rationality flew out of the window. The scene drew gasps from everyone in the vicinity, including you and your friends. Stunned was an understatement. Heeseung was known to be the calmest amongst the group, being the poster boy for thinking before acting. That was until now.
“Heeseung!”
The man recovered rather quickly from both the pain and the surprise. Just when you wanted to pull Heeseung away, another punch landed, except it was on Heeseung this time. This was surely his ticking point, because he quite literally slipped from your grasp, returning a punch to the man. You were watching in horror as the prior dispute somehow evolved into a fist fight. You wanted a boring night, this was miles off what ‘boring’ would be defined as.
Everything around you faded, your ears were muffled, you weren’t even aware of Yunjin and Chaewon dragging you to the side while Jay and Jake ran to pull Heeseung off of the man. The situation had become out of control. Staff and some customers came to help, managing to separate the two men from each other, both bloody and bruised. The fortunate part about this mess consisted of two things: nobody else was hurt, and nothing got destroyed. The unfortunate part was probably getting kicked out and banned, then having to end your night in the emergency room.
Heeseung suffered not only a split lip that had to be stitched, but also a boxer’s fracture discovered through an X-ray scan. His left hand was wrapped in an ulnar gutter splint—some medical term you recalled the doctor mentioning—immobilising specifically his pinky and ring finger, which meant he was totally inconvenienced by not being able to use his non-dominant hand for several weeks. You wished to laugh in his face for the consequences he brought upon himself. In spite of the thought of taunting him, you were far from being in the mood to do so.
Standing by the medical bed with him sitting on the edge, his injured hand elevated on a pillow, you scowled, not having said a word since you arrived. Every one of your friends had returned home after Heeseung insisted he was fine in your care. In retrospect, he should be thankful you weren’t currently choking him for his careless actions. Instead, he was suffering from both his injuries and your angered silent treatment as the two of you waited for discharge paperworks.
“I’m sorry,” Heeseung, at last, decided to be the one to break the icy silence formed rigidly in the room. A sharp inhalation of breath was your response for the next following moments, head shaking in what could be described as either disappointment or disapproval, you couldn’t figure which would be the most fitting for your current thoughts.
“‘Sorry’? What were you thinking? You were reckless, and incredibly thoughtless about your own safety,” you snapped, fear seeping through the anger you used to conceal your true emotions, the tremor of your hand might just be a telltale sign.
“I wanted to protect you!”
“I didn’t need protection!” you took half a step forward, Heeseung barely budged, keeping himself steady and overall composed. “You could’ve gotten more hurt than you already are right now,”
“But I didn’t,”
“That’s because people intervened before it got worse, smartass. You should be thankful the charges were dropped because the bartender backed you up,” you rubbed at your temple, pacing back and forth. His stubbornness was clashing with yours, making things ten times more difficult than it already was. You were able to understand why the last time the both of you fought had ended in neither of you speaking to each other again. “I didn’t want you to get hurt,”
“Who are you to get a say in that?”
You glowered at him, having the inability to form a logical answer to his response without the emotional side of you spilling all over. Sure, you could go with the reason of you being his dear best friend who was afraid to see him putting himself in danger, or you could go for the option of being silent and not utter those seven letters admitting you’re friends, because the last thing you’d like to touch upon in that emergency room was your feelings for him. It was a sensitive subject.
“Excuse me?” out of all the possible times to appear, the nurse had to pick the one where you and Heeseung were in the middle of another altercation. Another not assuring point to note was the nurse awkwardly handing you the paperwork to sign, looking thoroughly uncomfortable and very much aware of what was going down moments before she entered. Great, you took your chances to sign the discharge paperwork and stormed out at the last flick of your signature, your frustration blinding you the entire way to the front of the hospital.
You gasped for air, the stuffiness inside the emergency room restricted your airways, in addition, the whole exchange with Heeseung only pressed harder onto your lungs. Watching cars come and go, patients arriving and leaving, you felt helpless for the first time in a while, consumed by your fear that was creeping up on you without your knowledge. You stood there, alone and confused, no one to come to your aid.
“Y/N,” you registered Heeseung’s voice, only you were a moment’s short of a reaction as he grabbed a hold of your wrist, tugging onto your arm to turn you around. You didn’t push him away. An arm in a cast, physically dishevelled, panting and out of breath from chasing you, Heeseung wasn’t backing down without a fight, one that he hoped wouldn’t land him in the hospital once more. “Answer me. What am I to you?”
“What?”
“What am I to you?”
“You’re my friend,”
“Bullshit,”
“My best friend,”
“Bullshit!” he snarled, spewing the word through clenched teeth, unable to contain his rage nor keep his voice from rising. His grip on you remained firm, contrasting the waver of emotions seen in his eyes. “Is this really what you think about me—about us? Because I don’t believe you,”
“Then what do you think about us?”
“Don’t turn this on me,”
“You’re the one who got a girlfriend first then suddenly dropped this out of nowhere! Not to mention, right after breaking up with her,”
“That’s because I wished she were you,” this was enough to shut you up, rendering you speechless, all vocabulary seemed to escape your brain, not that there were any appropriate ones to use at that moment. “I thought being with someone else would erase what I felt for you. It seemed to have worked for a short while, until I realised that’s not how it works, and I was thinking about you the whole time,” he paused, but you didn’t know if it was for you to take it in or for himself to not crumble. “You said you knew me, but clearly not enough to tell that I’m in love with you, and I’ve always been in love with you,”
His confession had taken a toll on him, every last bit of strength he saved since running after you was slowly depleting. You felt him letting go of your arm, sighing deeply, the sound of your heartbeats filled the cold night air. Heeseung stared back at you weakly, pleading for you to break the silence on your end. You were a fool, a self-sabotaging lunatic who was ruining yourself at the thought of him falling for someone else in the first place, just to back away out of fear when he admitted his feelings to you directly. When were you going to stop running away?
“We can either leave here like how we were before, pretend nothing happened, or we can leave knowing the truth,” Heeseung had thrown the ball into your court, rightfully giving you your turn to speak your truth or forever hold your peace. Your hands were balled into fists at each side, nails digging crescent moons into your palm, the cooling breeze did nothing to help the heat travelling up your entire body.
“God damn it, Heeseung, I love you,” you bursted at the seams, the only secret you’ve kept to yourself was freed, pouring out of you like a gushing fountain. “I love you, and I’m in love with you too,” The months you’ve spent dwelled on this—your love for your best friend of several years—hadn’t prepared you to face it head on, because you were definitely holding in every ounce of tears amassed over that era of your life. “I was scared—I am scared, that if I ever told you how I really feel, I’d lose you, and everything we built would be gone,”
You shifted on your two feet, never once did you dare to look away from Heeseung, still petrified that whatever left your mouth would ruin the friendship that had already been over since you discovered your feelings for him. “I tried convincing myself we were nothing but friends, until I couldn’t anymore, and it hurts. It really did when I saw you with someone else, that’s when I thought I had lost you,”
“You never lost me, you never would’ve lost me,” Heeseung took your trembling hand into his, intertwining his fingers with yours. Something you’ve done countless times suddenly felt more intimate than it should be. Given the proximity and the vulnerable confessions, everything significantly changed, realising there was no point of return. “You were always a part of me,”
“Tell me this is real, that whatever I’ve felt between us has always been real,” you searched for his eyes, for some sort of confirmation to your fears which persisted in haunting you. He squeezed your hand, putting on a smile just for you, the edge of his eyes crinkled a little.
“It is real, more than you can ever comprehend. You complete me.”
Heeseung never gave you a chance to speak this time. He chose to be selfish. Once you’ve come to wrap your scrambled mind around his words, he has freed his hand from your grasp, pulling you in with that hand now placed on your cheek, lips colliding onto yours.
Everything felt right. How you moved against each others’ lips, rough and passionate, barely holding yourselves back after months, or rather years of built up tension and silent confessions pushed down for the sake of keeping your friendship safe. That could all be forgotten now. The idea of a friendship flew out of your mind when you melted into his touch. His calloused palm cradled the side of your side face, moving it to a certain angle just so he could deepen the kiss.
The amount of kiss scenes you’ve indulged from watching too many rom-coms would never have prepared yourself for this. Ever. Kissing Heeseung was different, he was different. It was sweet, gentle, and too familiar, as though kissing him was a second instinct of yours, almost like a birthright. You were experiencing every butterfly, every spark, every bit of nervousness that you’d normally get whenever his gaze lingered a minute too long, where his hands would brush against yours, or those times he would look at you in a group full of people. You were always the center of his world, you just never brought yourself to notice.
The both of you gradually pulled away after what seemed like an eternity trapped in heaven, but not completely apart, still resisting to separate, chasing each others’ lips with a hunger to appease. In the end, you settled to rest your forehead against his, noses close to touching, breaths fanning one anothers’ lips. Neither of you spoke for a while, basking in the ambience, all while you held onto him, and he held onto you closer.
“Does that mean our friendship is ruined now?” you whispered faintly, grinning widely and giddy from the aftermath of your kiss.
“I think it’s been ruined for a long time,” Heeseung’s thumb caressed the expanse of your cheek, moving away to press a soft kiss on your temple. “And I don’t regret any part of it,” he shook his head, gaze boring into yours with no intention to ever leave. “Except I didn’t get to kiss you sooner,”
There he was, classic Heeseung with his smart mouth, trying to win you completely by pulling out the methods he used on ladies for them swoon over him. You punched his shoulder, scoffing at him and that smug smile on his stupidly charming face. “Then kiss me again.”
You didn’t need to tell Heeseung twice before he swooped in to connect his lips with yours for a second time that night. Sparks flew, electricity coursed through your veins, it felt like you were kissed by him for the first time all over again. Holding onto each other, none of you dared to let go, terrified this moment would suddenly disappear and fade into nothingness. But it was never meant to be fleeting nor short-lived, instead, merely a goodbye to this ending, welcoming a new beginning.
In the middle of New York City, standing right in front of a hospital, you were kissing a man you’ve fallen in love with, your best friend who got himself injured just for your sake. If anything, you’d consider this to be a better plot than any of your favourite movies. The story of how you and Heeseung fell in love might be competing for the position of ‘When Harry Met Sally’ in your life.
The festive season in the city was an absolute dream.
You got to go Christmas shopping, visit coffee shops for a sizzling cup of hot chocolate, and head to a few rounds of ice skating just so you could prove to everyone you wouldn’t fall. It was your favourite time of the year. This time was no different from the other years you spent in New York. Staying in on a cold day, wrapped in layers of clothing, preparing for the annual Christmas dinner followed by an after party you and your friends threw as a tradition, everything about the holiday was perfect. The only contrast to other years was the label to you and Heeseung’s relationship.
That’s right. You and Heeseung were no longer friends, you and him had become a couple. It took five years and six months for the both of you to reach this stage in life. After a total of over a hundred failed dates, two boyfriends, and three girlfriends plus three unofficial-no-label partners over the course of these five years, you and him finally learnt there was no point in finding love elsewhere, when it’s been next to you the entire time. Maybe you had to spend a long time to learn that, but a lesson was still a lesson at the end of the day.
“You guys are disgusting,” Chaewon could only roll her eyes and shake her head at the sight of Heeseung giving you a peck on the lips. She couldn’t bring herself to complain as she was one of the members to ride the train of bringing you and Heeseung together. Despite her funny little digs, she would be smiling watching the both of you severely struck by the love bug.
“It’s Christmas, cheer up,” you nudged her with your elbow, holding carefully onto the freshly baked lasagna. The last, grandest piece of the Christmas dinner presented on your kitchen table. You should bear in mind to hire caterers next year, the exhaustion was indescribable.
“If only Santa could wrap a capable man for me this Christmas, and gift him to me,” Chaewon grumbled, falling into one of the chairs with a loud sigh. The smell of cooked food had attracted flies in the form of men into the dining area. Jay and Jake soon came rushing in to snatch a seat at the table, fighting over who would be the one to hog the turkey leg.
“Am I not a part of this fight anymore?” Heeseung slid into the chair next to you, seemingly offended that he was excluded from the traditional turkey discourse. You, Yunjin, and Chaewon snickered at the silliness of their behaviour, a common happening you and your friends were desensitized to.
“You have a girlfriend, Heeseung, the least you can do is leave the turkey leg to us,” Jake pointed a finger at Heeseung, earning a disgruntled grunt of agreement from Jay. Heeseung shrugged, knowing they weren’t wrong, contentedly throwing an arm around you, while also smugly grinning at the two men. You rolled your eyes, but didn’t brush his touch away either.
With a clap of your hands, you announced the start of the dinner. “Eat up, everyone. Before the guests start coming.”
Hours later, you and Yunjin’s apartment was congested with friends and families, nothing you’ve never experienced before, you just forgot how overwhelming it was at some point. The music you put on the background was effectively drowned out due to scattered loud chatters, your friends were dispersed all over the apartment as well. You were at least happy to see the condiment platters being savagely cleared thanks to certain hungry individuals (most likely Jay). Seeing your hard work enjoyed by others was somewhat fulfilling, but you had a feeling it was the festive mood speaking on your behalf.
“Hey,” Heeseung appeared by your side as you replenished the platters, helping you to take them to the table. You followed him with empty hands.
“Hi,” your hands weren’t so empty anymore when he grabbed them immediately after, pulling you along with him, squeezing through groups of people. He stopped directly next to the stereo in the corner, away from the crowd, just the two of you keeping each other company. He turned the volume higher, barely loud enough to overpower the sound of people’s voices, but just right for you to listen. George Benson’s ‘Nothing’s Gonna Change My Love for You’ began playing.
“You’re tired,” he stated, bringing both your hands over his shoulders, resting them comfortably there, his own placed on your waist. You let him lead, body naturally swaying to the lazy rhythm of the music, slow dancing in this tiny corner while others were occupied. It was you and him in your own world, nobody else would come to disturb or ruin your moment together.
“It’s always exhausting when it comes to throwing parties. I think we should have a vacation for the next holiday, escape all of this,”
“Where would you like to go?”
You pondered for a while, speaking off the top of your head. “I’m thinking the Bahamas,”
“You really love the beach, don’t you?”
“Only if you’re there picking seashells with me,” you pressed a long kiss by the edge of his mouth, taking in the smile that instantly appeared on his face, a look of love and adoration was written all over him. He was a man who stood at the top of the world regardless of what he wanted or wished to achieve.
“I’ll gladly collect every seashell on the beach if it meant getting to spend time with you,” he hummed, squeezing your waist playfully just to hear you laugh at the tickling sensation. You slapped at his chest, a few more laughter lingered from either one of you, George Benson in the background being replaced by ‘With or Without You’ by U2. Heeseung glanced up briefly, a grin slowly formed, and you understood it was a sign of mischief. He was up to no good. “Uh oh, mistletoe alert,”
Following his actions, you tilted your head back, spotting a mistletoe hanging above your head. You didn’t know whether to be annoyed, impressed, or amused. Perhaps you were all. “You planted it there, didn’t you?”
Heeseung feigned ignorance, raising both shoulders with a devious smirk. He was a hundred percent guilty. “Maybe I did, maybe I didn’t,”
You stared at him, still moving to the music playing, saying nothing, only letting your eyes wander every feature on his face. From his large deer-like eyes, to the slope of his nose, down to the pout of his lips, those were the features that welcomed you to the city on your first day, ones which you admired many times. Now, they would one day be passed down onto your children. Heeseung was the man you loved, and nothing would ever change that.
“I love you,”
It wasn’t the first time Heeseung heard those three sacred words coming from you. In fact, he heard it day in, day out, you made sure he wouldn’t forget it, and he never once got sick of listening to your voice, listening to you express your love to him like it hadn’t been done before. He removed his hands from your waist, choosing to settle them on either side of your cheeks. “I love you too.”
Under the mistletoe, Heeseung kissed you like it was his very first time doing so. You forgot about the people, the music, the cold, and quite frankly, the presents waiting for you. All that mattered to you was having your best friend, your forever partner, in your arms, holding onto you with such gentleness it could almost be compared to the snow falling outside your window.
Moving to New York City was the best choice you’ve made for yourself. You found your identity, a good job, an amazing group of friends, and a forever person to spend the rest of your life with. The advice you’d give to someone who’s new to the city would probably be: one, get to know your neighbour; two, accept the pizza your neighbour offers, then wait for whatever that comes next and go along with wherever the wind blows. Remember, it’s always good to ruin the friendship too.
You know I got a soft spot- the attending of your ER has a known reputation for being a grump but for some reason not with you
✚- doctor!heeseung x nurse!reader - part of the only exception series - slow burn - angst - comfort - fluff - wc: ~10.8k (whoops)
warnings- depictions of hospitals + medical settings (may be inaccurate at times) - mentions of needles - mentions of blood - reader gets very overworked + burnt out - profanities used (everyone act shocked) - fainting - kissing - not proofread
notes!! greetings everyone, ive had this in my drafts for a while so decided to tweak it so it could fit the series im doing. i did try to make it somewhat realistic however thats kinda hard given im not a nurse. if i reused the same words millions of times, no i didnt. im not used to writing such long fics, if you read and enjoy please leave me feedback, like or reblog!!
Being a nurse wasn’t easy.
But then again no one ever claimed that it was. Sure at times it could be incredibly rewarding, seeing patients making a full recovery. The feeling was incomparable.
But there was also the lows. They always seemed to hit rock bottom. Your first time losing someone, even making a small mistake weighed down on you like a burden.
You didn’t know why’d you chosen to become one, probably because you thought it’d give you some sense of fulfilment.
Now, here you were sat at the nurses station during another gruelling night shift.
You were supposed to just be reviewing some charting, updating them if needed. But that’s when you noticed something off, multiple of dosages listed didn’t make sense.
You turn to Jia, another one of the nurses, “Who’s the attending on call tonight??”
“Dr Lee. Why??”
“Can you come just check something with me before I bother him. I’m not in the mood for one of his lectures, they’re too calm to even be considered a lecture.”
Jia scoots her chair over to the computer to see what you’re talking about, “See these doses they don’t seem correct right??”
She nods, “Yeah definitely not…especially that dose, way too high for a kid. Want me to page Dr Lee??”
“Why don’t you just call him Heeseung, that is his name you know?? And yeah page him…if someone gives those doses it could be catastrophic.”
Jia rolls her eyes playfully, “Your the only one who’s allowed to call him Heeseung and you know that.”
“Am not!!” You counter, although you know it’s partially true. He’d always had a soft spot for you.
“He literally adores you!! You get that soft, approachable look while we get daggers for glares!!”
You start ‘hitting’ Jia with some loose papers, providing some joy in the bleak hospital setting.
By the time Heeseung arrives you’re already too far gone. It’s not until he clears his throat that you diverge from your play attack on Jia and notice him. “So the nurses around here like to abuse each other for fun??”
You and Jia give him a flustered look, clearly caught off guard by his sudden appearance, “No not at all!!”
He doesn’t push any further, “Why did i get paged?? How can i be of assistance to you??”
You turn the computer screen towards him, “I was reviewing some patient charts when I spotted some unusual doses had been entered which could be a potential danger. I just wanted to triple check with you first.”
He glances over the charts, his black-rimmed glasses sit perfectly on the bridge of his nose, “Youre right. These dosages don’t make sense…I’ll make sure to check by all the patients and reiterate to staff the importance accurately entering chart information. Helps lower your workload a little bit.”
As he’s about to walk off you suddenly remember something, “Heeseung??”
He turns back to face you. “Erm this chart in particular. Unless I’ve forgot basic calculations couldn’t this dosage for a child potentially be fatal??”
He takes another look at it before his expression turns concerned, “What room is that?!” His tone urgent.
“305.” There’s no time for him to explain or elaborate.
He rushes off in the direction of room 305. This cannot be good.
🩹
A few hours later you’re sat in the break room, counting down the seconds until your shift is over.
You’re spread across three chairs trying to at least catch some rest. Whilst one of the other nurses, Mina, is having a fight with the coffee machine after its 5th breakdown in the space of a week.
“I swear if you do not turn on right now and give me the shittiest yet also best coffee of my life im going to quit.”
“Mina, it’s an inanimate object. It’s not going to start talking or responding to your requests when you try to intimidate it!!” You say running a hand through your hair frustratedly while sliding further down the chair.
“You never know!! Maybe the CEO has like a camera in here and he can activate the coffee machine at his wish. But right now it seems more like he just wants to torture his nurses!!”
Jia sighs, “I hope no doctors walk in here now. They’d probably page psych to give you an evaluation for onset psychosis and possible schizophrenia.”
“That’s what this job does. It turns you into a zombie on the verge of insanity at the end of every shift,” you say with a shake of your head .
“Speaking of the doctors i hope none of them try to infiltrate our break room,” Mina says returning from the coffee machine with nothing but a drained expression.
“I know right!!” Jia adds on, “As if half of them don’t have fancy on call rooms. This is nurse territory!!”
As if on cue, Heeseung enters. “Is Y/N in here??”
Immediately, you stand up and straighten out your wrinkled scrubs, “Yep im right here. Anything i can do for you?!”
“Come talk to me outside please.” His voice is monotonous, you can’t tell whether you’re about to get scolded or praised.
As you walk out you turn to glance at Jia and Mina. Jia gives you a thumbs up, hoping for at least some good news. Meanwhile Mina starts acting like she’s praying for you as though you’re about to be sent to the depths of hell.
Once two of you are outside Heeseung turns to face you, “Nice catch there today.”
“Oh…thanks, what actually happened after you disappeared to go check on the kid??”
“Thankfully, i got there in time. No one had been around to do meds by then so she was fine. All the dosages should’ve been altered,” he says you can tell he’s pissed off deep down though. Pissed off that his staff would be so careless and reckless.
“That’s good then…” you pause for a second debating whether to say the next part or not. “Was there a correlation between the charts and any members of staff or??”
You knew most people here weren’t down for conspiracy talk here, especially not Heeseung. No one needed a rumour disrupting them when they were trying to save a life.
He shakes his head, “No so i presuming it was a glitch in the system or something.”
“Either that or some of the doctors here are more incompetent than they’d like to admit…” you blurt out before you can stop yourself.
Heeseung smirks, “And what exactly do you mean by that Y/N??”
“Well…um,” you try to think of a way to make what you were about to say nice. “I think some of the doctors here have a superiority complex. They think they’re so much more qualified and intelligent than the nurses because they went to med school.”
That’s when you remember who you’re talking to, “No offence though…”
Heeseung stifles a chuckle, something other personnel at the hospital rarely see, “None taken. I’ll make sure to have a word with them to remind them to respect the people who keep this place from running into the ground.”
His pager buzzes loudly in his pocket, “I have to go.”
You nod understandingly, here any wasted second could be fatal. Heeseung rushes off now back to his usual, serious self nothing like the man who almost laughed when you started to berate his staff.
You emerge from the corridor with a smug, victorious smirk on your face. “What did you do??” Mina asks her eyebrow raised.
“He said ‘nice work’ and when i went on a rant about the idiot doctors he almost let out a laugh,” you plop yourself down onto the seat in between Jia and Mina.
Jia almost spits out her drink mid sip, “Am I hearing this correctly?? You made THE doctor lee crack a small laugh?? As in the one who’s known for being a miser to anyone else other than you??”
Mina gives you a proud look, “Look at our girl go. Revolutionising this hell hole by making all these grumps partially less grumpy!!”
“Yeah Mina flattery will get you everywhere. You should try it…or maybe just trying being nice for once.”
“Hey I am nice!! But only to the people here who i can tolerate…here that seems to only be you guys…”
🩹
Another day, another shift, another 20 patients.
The nights always passed in a blur. Not tonight though. Tonight was making sure it was memorable. That it wouldn’t leave anyone’s mind for months.
It started as peaceful as you could get in a hospital. Intake for new patients, basic checks on the ones who’d been here a while, the simple stuff.
That was until 10:09pm.
The red phone rang aloud, the one only used for severe emergencies with multiple casualties. Mina answers it in her most professional, practiced voice.
Everyone else waits in a tense silence for Mina to deliver the news, it’s always something devastating. “Listen up people!!” All the staff gather around waiting for her brief.
“There was a car accident on the nearby highway. Huge pileup of cars. Patients will be split between us and another hospital. If we are overcrowded go by a triage system. Most critical equals seen first!!”
Immediately, the department falls into a controlled chaos. You can hear Heeseung barking commands at interns and residents, his voice demanding authority.
“Where do you need me??” You ask Mina. “Go with Dr Lee or Heeseung or whatever i should call him. If you’re the only one he can handle on a normal day…I dread to think what he’d be like with anyone else in a situation like this.”
You nod and rush over to Heeseung, “Mina assigned me to you so just tell me when and where you need me.”
“We’re gonna be in trauma room 3. We take whoever they bring to us and we make it work, got it??”
“Got it.”
Hours pass like minutes as you work your way through masses of patients. Normally on nights like this it was difficult to even remember a patient's name after you’d transferred them to the necessary unit but today one stuck out like a sore thumb.
Hana. She was a young girl no older than 7 who you only saw for what seemed like a brief moment in this hectic night yet she still stuck to you. Her injuries weren’t severe in comparison to the many others tonight but the sound of her cries kept ringing in your ears, almost haunting you.
When the disorder of the department finally begins to settle you tear off your, now bloody, gown and toss it into the nearest clinical waste bin.
“Heeseung?? I need to go check up on something, if anyone asks where I am, could you cover for me??”
Usually Heeseung would say no. He didn’t like to break rules or policy which you were sort of doing. But tonight for you he was willing to make an exception, especially when he had a presumption for where you’d be heading. “Sure, I’ve got you.”
“Thanks…” you murmur before rushing off in the direction of the pediatric department.
Inside, the walls are lined with colourful, cheerful illustrations made to help the children feel at ease. But you know there’s one certain girl who won’t be feeling that way. Not with tonight’s events.
You walk over to the nurses station, “Um excuse me, did a young girl called Hana get transferred up here?? It would’ve been around an hour ago now.”
One of the nurses starts typing on the computer, probably to find Hana’s records before nodding, “Yep we’ve got her, poor thing was in that crash. Someone send you up to check on her or is it down to personal concern.”
You pause for a moment debating whether to tell the truth or not.
Seeing your hesitation the nurse speaks up again, “If it’s the second one nobody’s gonna like snitch on you or anything. We all get worried about these little ones at some point.”
“Yeah, just worried…” you murmur finally giving in. “Only saw her for about 20 minutes in the ER before she got sent up here but that image of her terrified, little face is literally just burnt into my mind. And as far as I’m aware her parents are still in surgery…it felt right to check up on her.”
The nurse lowers her voice so only you can hear, “Room 212. Just be cautious, she might be sleeping so try not to startle her.”
You give her a grateful, understanding nod before heading straight for room 212.
Surprisingly, it’s a private one. She hasn’t just been dumped onto a ward with a bunch of screaming, sick kids. But then again you guess that privacy is sort of a guarantee when you’ve just been traumatised by a car accident.
The room is dark on the inside yet you can still make out her tiny frame curled up on the much larger hospital bed. At first, you think she actually might be asleep. That her adrenalines finally crashed, that her small body can’t take it any longer. But then you see those green, fearful eyes peek out from beneath the blanket to meet yours. She holds the contact for a few seconds before pulling the blanket up to cover her face again.
You push open the door to her room, careful not to disturb anyone in the neighbouring room. “Hi Hana,” your voice is as gentle as it can be.
“You remember me?? I’m the nurse from earlier on.” You don’t expect a response. After all, trauma had a funny way of messing with people’s memories, especially kids.
Once you realise she definitely will not be engaging in any form of conversation you instead decide to settle down in the chair beside her bed. You’d learnt it back in nursing school in a session about providing comfort to patients: “if a patient doesn’t want to talk, provide a steady, comforting presence instead.”
So that’s exactly what you would do.
You allow for the silence to stretch for a few moments before trying an attempt at conversation again. “Do you like any cartoons Hana??”
Silence again. You think that she’s not going to answer, but then you hear her tiny, trembling voice. “Bluey…”
One word but that was better than none. “Bluey huh??”
She gives a small nod, her curls bouncing slightly.
You know some people would argue against what you’re going to do, some people who’d say it’s against some protocol. But at that moment ‘protocol’ doesn’t matter to you. What matters is the child in front of you. Besides seeing her so vulnerable, so broken and so alone you can’t help but just want to comfort her. Make her happy again.
“Would you wanna watch bluey?? Does that sound good Hana??”
She shakes her head and sniffles, such a small sound yet with such a heartbreaking effect. “The TV, it no have bluey.”
You lower your voice to a conspiratorial whisper, “Well the TV might not have Bluey…but I have my phone and I’m pretty sure that will.”
Her vacant eyes seem to brighten up a bit at that, “I wanna watch.”
You reach into the pocket of your scrubs and pull out your phone, hoping to find this cartoon on some streaming service. Luckily, you do. Just as you’re about to hand over the phone to her so she can watch in the bed Hana suddenly shakes her head.
Your expression immediately grows concerned again, “You don’t wanna watch your cartoon anymore?? What’s wrong Hana??”
“Nuh uh…I still wanna watch.”
At first you're confused, she’s shaking her head but she still wants to watch?? Then she points to the chair where you’re resting and everything clicks into place.
“Can we watch together?? Like me and mama do at home together??” Her voice is so small, so trusting. It makes your heart ache.
“You wanna watch with me?? On the chair??”
She nods.
Every professional part of you is telling you to say no, there were other ways to comfort patients without crossing such a boundary. But then again every other part of you was focused on the distressed child before you.
Eventually, the professional side caves completely.
Before you know it you're reaching out your arms and delicately lifting Hana to sit down on the chair beside you. “Is this better now hmmm??”
She nods approvingly and leans her head against your side. As the cartoon starts playing you can visibly see the previous tension in Hana’s face melting away as she begins to forget about the accident and bring her attention to the cartoon.
You could swear that as it progresses you see the occasional tug at the corner of her lips. At some moments you even hear a small giggle slip from her mouth. The sound is youthful which makes you happier but also reminds you of the situation, of what this poor little girl has been through.
After about three episodes, you see Hana’s eyes starting to droop, gradually becoming heavier and heavier with sleep. “You getting sleepy Hana??”
Her mouth opens into a small ‘O’ shape as she lets out an exhausted yawn. Her tiny fists come up to rub her eyes. You take that as your yes.
You go to lift her back into the hospital bed but Hana only tightens her grip around your arm before shaking her head with as much defiance as a girl her age can have. “Cuddle.”
Not even a moment later she’s somehow managed to wriggle her way onto your lap, her entire body weight draped over the top of you. Safe to say you were officially trapped.
With no other choice left you wrap your arms around her small frame, “Okay…okay cuddle.”
At first she seems reluctant, like sleep will take her away from the one thing she knows is constant in this ever changing time, you. She was too scared to sleep out of the fear of losing you.
“I’m not going anywhere,” you murmur against her hair.
Gently, you start rocking her. Although the chair isn’t exactly suitably equipped for this sort of situation you could make it work. Backwards and forwards. You repeat the motion over and over and over.
The combination of the rocking with the rhythmic beat of your heart, the warmth of your body. It seems to lull her into a state of relaxation.
Still not fully asleep but closer than before.
That’s when you remember it, a song that your mother used to sing long ago back when you were a child who was unable to sleep. Much like Hana right now.
You start humming the tune under your breath, sure you may be a little off pitch but it’s not exactly like Hana would care.
Within minutes, her defences have weakened. You can tell she’s fighting to keep her eyes open, still fending off sleep.
It only takes a few more seconds for her to surrender.
Her eyes close fully and her leads lolls slightly forward until she's using your shoulder as a pillow.
You don’t bother to move.
You can’t leave her. Not tonight anyways.
🩹
You don’t realise how long you’ve been sitting there until the first signs of dawn begin to seep through the curtain. The orange glow of the rising sun illuminates the once dim and dull hospital room.
Looking down you see Hana, her face peaceful in sleep. Somehow her small hands have latched onto a fistful of your scrubs. She’s not willing to let go of you anytime soon.
Attentively, you brush a stray strand of hair away from her forehead.
You’re so focused on her you don’t hear the sound of the door being pushed open. You don’t notice the sudden extra presence within the room.
It’s not until he speaks that you finally divert your attention. “Your shift ended hours ago Y/N.”
You look up to see Heeseung standing before you. His hair is messy, probably from pushing it back so many times in frustration at the interns yet otherwise he looks rather composed. Especially for a man who’s shift is nearing the fifteen hour mark.
“So did yours…” your voice is barely above a whisper, careful not to wake Hana.
“I had extra charting to catch up on from the accident. You however…you seem to have a bit more of a unique situation going on over here.”
“I don’t need you to reprimand me right now.”
Heeseung shakes his head, “I had no intention of doing so.”
“Then why else are you up here??”
“Her parents are out of surgery. They should both make a full recovery.” He pauses for a second before adding, “Go home Y/N. Go rest. You’ve done as much for this little girl as possible.”
You gesture to Hana’s hand which is tightly clutched around your scrubs. “Unfortunately I don’t think she’s willing to let me go.”
“Y/N I’m serious. You should’ve been home hours ago.”
“So should you. Besides, I don't want to leave her alone. She’s a terrified child.”
Heeseung closes the distance between the two of you, “Give her to me then. That way she won’t be alone. And before you try to argue with me, I’m off tonight you aren’t. I can rest later but having a nurse dead on her feet during shift isn’t ideal.”
“But she’ll wake-“
He cuts you off. “We know if we won’t try. Also if she does I can get her back to sleep…I’m better with kids than most people would assume.”
You start to give in. After all, Heeseung was right, he always seemed to be. You needed to sleep more than he did. Eventually, you reluctantly agree.
“Good. Now just hand her over to me.”
Carefully, you transfer Hana into Heeseung's arms making sure she is fully secure before finally letting go of her for the first time in hours. She stirs slightly at first when she realises your scrub top has escaped her grasp but almost instantly settles down once she realises that Heeseung’s stethoscope is far superior to hold.
Your arms ache from being in a fixed position for such a great length of time. But seeing Hana’s tranquil state makes it all seem worth it.
“Go home Y/N.”
You nod and begin to slowly walk towards the door.
A beat.
Then, “You’re a great nurse Y/N. Just stop overworking yourself, that’s how mistakes happen.”
🩹
After that interaction, something changes. Nothing big or significant, just the smaller things.
You find yourself feeling Heeseung’s presence more. Noticing the way he seems to be watching you from afar amongst the crowded ER. How he’s always there even when you don’t realise it.
Around a week later, you, Jia and Mina are inhabiting the break room again. “We all look like shit.” Mina says suddenly.
“Have you ever tried to be like positive or optimistic for a day in your life?? Jia asks whilst rolling her eyes.
“What is there to be positive about on the night shift? It’s all just filled with impending doom and despair.”
You burst out laughing at that. “Mina i get you hate nights especially when you lack the ever so vital coffee but you could at least try to be a bit more joyous.”
Mina shoots a glare at you and then another at the still broken coffee machine. “Surely this hospital has a big enough budget to hire a maintenance guy to repair the god damn coffee machine.”
“She was pushing the age of being antique anyway. I'm surprised she lasted so long.”
You lean in closer to the other two and lower your tone of voice as though you guys aren’t the only ones in this room. “Who’s willing to place bets on the fact that one of the interns broke it.”
“I’d give it ten bucks…” Mina pauses before speaking again. “I would bet more but ten bucks is all I’d risk at the moment.”
Jia lets out a small pft sound. “As if!! Those are the exact same interns who walk around as if they own the place with their branded matcha. Like seriously the only type of coffee that could get me through this shift is a hard, pure shot of espresso.”
Mina sighs, “And don’t even get me started on all their fresh, new scrubs which come in a million different colours. I have about 2 sets of scrubs which get washed probably once every week. That’s if they’re lucky.”
You give Mina’s scrubs a small, playful expression before pulling back with a false look of disgust on your face. “Yeah we can tell Mina.”
Just as Mina’s about to swat your arm, there’s a knock on the door.
That was unusual for the break room. Normally the other nurses would just barge in without a care for whatever may have been occurring inside. It was a strange occurrence for someone to be polite enough to knock before entering.
“Come in,” you say, your voice weary of whomever may be about to enter.
In walks Heeseung carrying a rather large brown paper bag in his hand. When you see it’s him rather than some intern or resident who would probably just harass you, the three of you let out a collective sigh of relief.
“Oh?!” Heeseung’s eyebrow raises. “This isn’t the usual greeting I get, especially when I’m invading the sacred break room. Am I actually getting a positive perception for once??”
“Kind of. People always just sorta don’t knock before coming in usually. So we all made the presumption that it’d be some annoying intern,” Jia replies.
“Also you have what looks like food and or a drink. Which could be seen as a truce or a peace offering.” Mina adds on.
Heeseung nods understandingly and pulls out a tray from the bag with four large cups on it. “Coffee,” he announces quietly.
Mina’s eyes light up as she practically sprints over to grab the warmest cup. She takes a sip and lets out a small, contented noise. “I swear to god Dr Lee or Heeseung or whatever the hell is appropriate right now, I could actually kiss you.”
“I’d rather you didn’t,” he says whilst looking around, partially puzzled at Mina’s sudden affection towards him.
You let out a genuine giggle and shake your head, “I believe that Mina may have been speaking metaphorically, Heeseung.”
He nods slowly. That would certainly make more sense than Mina, who usually barely tolerated him, now abruptly wanting to kiss him purely over coffee.
Jia gives Heeseung an incredulous look, “Why did you bring us these?? How do we know that they haven’t been tampered with??”
Mina’s expression falls immediately, as though the coffee is actually in fact poisoned. “Holy shit. You’re right Jia, what if they’re tainted?? I shouldn’t have been tempted by coffee so damn easily.”
“Well I would never even consider doing such a thing but if it calms your nerves it was a gesture out of kindness. You nurses are the reason this hospital doesn’t collapse and you don’t get enough credit for it in the first place…but now you don’t even get a coffee machine. So I thought I'd try to give back.”
Hearing that the coffee truly hasn’t been tampered with, Mina picks hers back up before starting to drink it again. She chugs it so quickly any random person would think that cup of coffee was the last liquid left on earth.
You reach down to grab a cup and as though in sync so does Heeseung. Your fingers lightly brush against each other. The contact isn’t much but it’s there, it sends a spark through you. Almost like there’s a connection between the two of you.
Quickly, you shake that thought away. The two of you were coworkers and he was just trying to be nice. That was all there was…right??
“Thanks…” you murmur, suddenly feeling rather flustered at the idea of you two being something more.
Heeseung gives you something that’s halfway between a smile and smirk, “No problem. Now if you’d excuse me I’m going to distribute these properly among all the nurses.”
As he exits Mina sinks back down into her chair, the coffee still strongly in hold. She looks at you dawning a thoughtful expression on her face. “You know what Y/N. Maybe you were right after all. Maybe heeseung isn’t a complete grump.”
🩹
Monday is harder than usual. Sure Mondays were always worse than the other days but today felt different…like things just weren’t going your way.
But by 9pm you could already tell that today was wrong.
The first patient you had seen presented with what could only be described as average symptoms. Like he had possibly a common cold, nothing more. Nope. Five minutes later he was in respiratory distress. Luckily, you caught onto it early and he would make a full recovery, but nobody wanted to be that shaken up so early into a shift.
Then there was the family. Normally you could deal with families and their kids well but god these people were stupid. You’d stressed to them multiple times the importance of the fact their son receives treatment, they still decided to walk out.
Now here you were sat with Mrs Chen. She’s an elderly woman with what is simply put as traditional views.
Just as you’re about to wrap the tourniquet around her arm in an attempt to take her blood, she suddenly speaks up. “Sweetheart i mean no offence when i say this but are you sure you’re qualified to do this?? You look incredibly young.”
You put on the most polite smile that you can manage right now, “Mrs Chen I can assure you that I have all the necessary qualifications required. If I didn’t then I wouldn’t be working here.”
She nods seemingly accepting your answer and allowing you to wrap the tourniquet around her arm. “Actually-“
“Mrs Chen, I cannot leave this tourniquet around your arm for too long without risking cutting off your circulation. So would you prefer that i stop and go to fetch another member of staff instead??”
“…Yes please my dear.”
You pull the tourniquet so it sits looser on her arm and rip your gloves off throwing them into the nearest bin. “Someone should be with you in a moment.”
You walk out of the room and head for the nurses station. “Mina could you do those bloods for the woman in room 111 for me??”
Mina looks slightly confused at first but eventually agrees, giving a small nod. “Could I ask why you aren’t doing them??”
“She thinks I don’t look experienced enough. That I’m too young.”
“Ohhh…wait, are you trying to imply that I look old?!”
“Maybe,” you say with a casual shrug before walking off.
Tears sting in your eyes but you can’t cry. Not here in the middle of the ER, not now. You move towards what’s known as the ‘spare’ supply room.
Now although theoretically it was just a normal supply room compared to the other one it was more out of bounds, so people tended to not venture over there as much unless they really needed extra supplies. Therefore making it the perfect place for a breakdown.
That statement comes from experience.
You push the door open and once inside slide down against it. Your back provides a solid weight against the door as though to prevent anyone from coming in. You know that if they really wanted to they would.
The tears hit you hard, the culmination of many bad days all finally being exposed. It felt stupid, crying like this over work but then again this was just part of the job. How draining it was, the emotional exhaustion- they were just things you had to accept when deciding to become a nurse.
As the hot stream of water continues to flow down your face there’s a knock on the door. That same knock that was on the break room door a few days ago.
Heeseung.
“What??” You try to keep your voice steady but a small crack gives you away.
“It’s me Y/N.” His voice is gentler than normal, “Can I come in??”
For a moment you debate pushing him away, telling him to leave, that you don’t need his support. Right now you do.
You scoot away from the door before letting out a small, “Fine.” You try to wipe your eyes, to regain some composure despite the fact it’s already too late. Heeseung heard that crack in your voice, probably your sniffles while he was waiting outside as well. He knows you’re not okay.
At first, he doesn’t say anything. He simply just sits down beside you aiming to comfort you without words. When the tears finally begin to subside that’s when he chooses to speak, “Bad day??”
Somehow you manage to let out a huff of a laugh, “Calling it a bad day is being gracious.”
“That’s fair.” He pauses for a second giving you a considerate glance before starting again, “So then…shit day more fitting??”
A watery smile tugs at the corner of your mouth, “Incredibly shit day.”
He pulls down a pack of cotton wool from one of the stock shelves and hands a piece over to you. “Here, I know it's not ideal but at least it’s something to dry your eyes with.”
You take it appreciatively, giving your under eyes a gentle dab to wipe away any evidence of your previous tears.
The two of you sit in a comfortable silence for what feels like ages but is probably only a few minutes before you finally bring yourself to talking. “Don’t you have better things to be doing right now. You know, like attending to patients??”
“If anyone seriously needed me they’d come and find me. Besides, who else is gonna check up on the nurses if not for me.”
“Yeah because you are soooo notorious for doing that,” you exaggerate.
He shakes his head and places a hand over his chest fiening mock offence. “Well maybe I don’t but I’m checking up on you right now.”
“Thats because I’m your favourite.”
“Sure.”
“You aren’t denying it??”
“Maybe it’s the truth.”
His pager goes off and he almost immediately snaps straight back into professional mode, not concerned friend mode.
“I need to go…”
“It’s fine…go save more lives.”
He gives you a big smile, probably the first genuine thing you’ve seen from him. “Will do.”
🩹
Wednesday was a long day. Although consistently working 12+ hours everyday would to most already be considered long enough, today was dragging.
Time passed agonisingly slow and by the time 11pm rolled around both you and your body seemed to be completely drained.
You were just doing some charting, playing it safe whilst you didn’t feel your greatest. That’s when an intern comes rushing over to you, “Excuse me, are you a nurse??”
It’s rather tempting to say no. Fabricate some lie that you just decided to wear a nurses ID badge and scrubs because you felt like it, just because you wanted a laugh. You can’t do that though, you have to at least attempt to be amiable.
“Yep. What gave it away??” You say sarcastically.
The intern doesn’t seem to understand sarcasm so gives you a bewildered look, “Your badge, your-“
Your voice cuts him off, “I was being sarcastic.”
“Ohhh right…um anyways could you come help me with this patient??”
You nod and quickly stand up. It’s too quick.
Before you can even fully process what’s happened your mind begins to fade. Your body starts to fall and you hear a sharp THUD sound as everything goes black.
The first thing you hear as you start to finally come to is the sound of interns scrambling, their voices obviously nervous as they speak.
That’s when you hear that voice. The one you could probably still recognise even when you grow old. Heeseung. Of course he was here. “Did anybody even try to catch her?! You didn’t think to break her fall or possibly soften the landing?!”
Oh god he is furious.
It wasn’t unknown to you that Heeseung would often lose his temper at the interns when they did something idiotic but hearing it in person felt different. You didn’t know whether he was always this enraged or whether it was down to this specific situation but one thing was clear and that’s the fact he’s pissed.
“Is she responsive?? Has anyone bothered to check her airway??” Heeseung demands a response from the interns.
You hear some of them mumble weak excuses, about how the situation overwhelmed them and they forgot the basics. God was this seriously the next generation of doctors?!
Your eyes open partially but even a glimpse at the light sends your head spiralling with pain causing you to involuntarily let out a small, pained squeak.
“I know Y/N. I know,” Heeseung tries to soothe after hearing your distress.
You eventually manage to squint your eyes open letting you take in the scene before you. Heeseung is stood beside you whilst a group of interns are huddled in the corner. They’re still trying to take notes but it’s clear that they were heavily reprimanded.
The nurse side of you is telling you to lie back, be a good patient but your body seems to have a mind of its own. You start to force yourself up- something you definitely were not supposed to do so soon after passing out.
A strong, firm hand pushes you back down against the uncomfortable hospital bed. “Y/N don’t. You know sitting up is not a good idea right now,” Heeseung tries to reason with you.
“Yeah I know…”
At that moment Jia bursts into the room, “What the hell is going on in here?!”
She starts moving towards you before noticing the crowd of interns lurking in the corner. “All of you out now!! This isn’t some sort of spectacle!!”
They all quickly shuffle out after that until the room fully clears out apart from Heeseung and herself.
“What happened?!”
You try to speak but Heeseung beats you to it, “Some intern asked for her help with something, she stood up and then passed out.”
“Do we know why??”
“Can you two stop talking about me like I’m not here?!” You snap but quieten down shortly after. You don’t mean to snap at them but frustration got the better of you.
“We don’t know why Y/N fainted so I’m ordering some tests.”
“Ughhh,” you groan. “Would it not be better to use these resources on you know like…patients who actually need them??”
“You fainted so now you’re a patient as well.” Jia states.
“Jia could you please run a full blood work up. Just so we can see if anything jumps out…if not we’ll order more tests.”
You shake your head in refusal, “I am not getting any blood taken from me. The needle freaks me out.”
Heeseung gives you a look of disbelief, “You’re a nurse and you’re scared of needles?!”
“I’m not scared. I just simply find blood tests unpleasant,” you try to argue.
“She’s scared of them. In fact, only saying scared is generous. She’s like petrified.” Jia butts in.
“Jia, you're supposed to defend me!!”
“I’ll hold your hand then,” Heeseung says.
“Hahaha you are absolutely hilarious.” You think he’s just being sarcastic or maybe mocking you for your fear.
“I wasn’t kidding. Jia can draw your blood whilst I hold your hand. As long as it means you won’t be refusing medical treatment I’m up for it.”
You end up reluctantly agreeing, “Fine.”
As Jia begins to prepare the equipment a sudden wave of hesitation hits you. “Jia, are you like 100% sure you wanna do this to me. We are best friends after all…I wouldn’t want it to influence you at all.”
Heeseung takes your hand into his, the grip surprisingly warm. You thought his hands would be cold and devoid of warmth, similar to his personality on certain occasions. Or maybe it just depended on the person. You were supposedly his favourite after all.
The tourniquet wraps around your arm, the feeling is tight and uncomfortable. “This is the worst part,” Heeseung murmurs, his hand beginning to rub gently over your knuckles.”
“Ugh this is so stupid. That’s normally my job to say that…but here I am now being the victim instead.”
“Youre the patient,” Jia corrects.
As Jia advances the needle into your arm your face scrunches up in discomfort. Although, admittedly the feeling isn’t as awful as you had anticipated.
“…Wait, that actually wasn’t as bad as I thought.”
Hearing you don’t need comforted anymore, Heeseung abruptly pulls his hand away from yours.
“We had informed you that it wouldn’t be bad but you know…”
Heeseung switches back in doctor mode acting like he wasn’t just a big softie who offered to hold your hand when he heard you were scared of something. But then again that could’ve just been because he wanted the test over and done with.
“I’ll have these run to the lab and leave Jia as your company for now.”
🩹
The results come quicker than you had expected.
Jia had left around ten minutes ago, and understandably so, to go and attend to some ‘other patients.’ You still weren’t used to being referred to as that.
Heeseung walks in holding a tablet. “Damn that was quick…” you mumble.
“Told them its priority. Well it always is when it’s a member of hospital staff.”
“So what’s the result?? Anything that could be a reason behind my random fainting??” You ask although you aren’t entirely sure whether to be curious or not. There’s always the possibility it could be something bad.
He hands the tablet over to you so you can take a look for yourself, “Low blood sugar is probably the most likely one. Can you remember the last time that you ate before you passed out??”
“Maybe a little more than a few hours beforehand…” Now it was all starting to make sense.
Heeseung lets out an exasperated sigh, “You need to take better care of yourself Y/N. You do so much for others yet so little for yourself.”
You couldn’t argue with that, it was the truth after all. However in this career it seemed almost impossible to do so. You’d start with one patient, then get roped into helping another, it was like a cycle. A cycle that repeated again and again and again. And by the time that was over hours had passed leaving no time for a break.
“I know…but it’s hard to get anytime to myself.”
Heeseung gives you a sympathetic nod, “I get it Y/N…with a job like this. I’m not trying to blame you, all I’m trying to emphasize is, how are you supposed to care for others when you aren’t at 100% yourself?”
He’s got a point.
“Anyways you’re taking a few days off so you can get the rest and recovery that you need.” It’s not a request.
“Seriously??”
He nods, “Doctors orders…and also hospital standards. We’ll manage to survive without you.”
You flash him a weak smile, “Survive but not thrive.”
Heeseung shakes his head, “Everyone will definitely be a little bit more miserable, you bring the positivity up…especially in Mina. And you’ve got all of us to support you, so you can always just give us a call if you need anything.”
“Could someone call me an uber or taxi or something?? I don’t think driving right now would be a wise decision.”
“Mhm, ill pay for it and walk you out when it gets here.”
“You don’t have to-“
“I want to.”
You nod slowly, “I don’t wanna be a bother but I don’t exactly fancy leaving my car here overnight…”
“I can take it back,” he offers straight away. “I can drop it off after my shift, is there anywhere specific where I should park it??”
“There’s an underground parking bit but you need a code to get in…it’s 5918. I trust that you won’t be trying to break into my apartment anytime soon.”
He chuckles, the sound low and warm. “How did you discover my secret plan?! But in all seriousness it’s safe with me.”
A few minutes later, you’re in the locker room trying to retrieve all your belongings before the uber arrives. It’s then that you realise you forgot to bring your coat which isn’t exactly ideal with the bipolar nature of the weather which means that it’s now freezing outside.
You turn to Heeseung who’s leant against the locker beside yours. He says this is ‘protocol’ but you aren’t too sure of that.
“Do you think I’ll be too cold outside without a jacket??”
“Take mine.” It sounds more like a demand rather than an offer.
Heeseung opens up his locker which is on the opposite side of the room and pulls out a hoodie. “I know it’s not a coat but it should keep you relatively warm.”
You nod and take it gratefully, “Thank you.”
You pull it on, although it does hang off your much smaller frame you can’t deny how cozy it is. It smells so distinctly him , a mix of hand sanitizer and that perfume he always wears.
“Come on I’ll walk you out before the uber arrives…only if you want me to of course.”
“Yeah I don’t really fancy being dizzy again, then passing out, then being left on the ground.”
Heeseung winces, “I’m still in disbelief that there were so many people around yet they just left you to fall and hit the floor. They could’ve at least caught you…I thought that was just basic human decency but evidently not.”
“Uh huh, I heard you giving the interns a hard time over that whilst I was still half unconscious.”
As the two of you walk out side by side, Heeseung turns to you, dawning a smirk across his face, “You can’t deny that they didn’t deserve it though.”
“Maybe they did…” The interns did have an infamous history of being arrogant at times. “But maybe they didn’t.”
By the time you’re outside the uber is already parked, you hope that you hadn’t made the driver wait for ages.
“Message me when you get home, call me if you need anything whilst you're off.” You open your mouth to speak but Heeseung starts again, “And I mean anything, even if you think it’s stupid…just don’t hesitate.”
“Jeez you sound like my parents right now. Anyways if you were mid emergency you wouldn’t abandon that to check that I’m home.”
“I’d see eventually. Or just page me or something, just let me know that you got home safely. Got it??”
“Got it.”
🩹
The first day at home is harder than you’d thought it would be.
You’re so used to the dynamic, ever changing environment of the hospital that now the peace and quiet of your apartment feels mundane. It bores you.
You try to occupy yourself by watching TV, reading, even doomscrolling- stuff you would’ve found entertaining at one point in your life. But it’s no use at this moment.
The entire nature of it feels so wrong. Lazing around instead of being productive. Eating takeout from a box rather than anticipating whether your patient is about to code or not.
Not to mention the fact that you’d practically been living in the hoodie Heeseung had given you. The baggy fit made it incredibly comfortable to lounge around in and the scent reminded you of him, which reminded you of the hospital…that put you somewhat at ease.
When the second day comes around you know trying to find a hobby to pass time is pointless. So you resort to staring up at the cracked, peeling apartment ceiling. Obviously, the upstairs neighbours have no grace—when do they ever— it seems like they must be having a game of who can make the loudest noise with the amount of thumps you’re hearing.
That’s when you hear that oh so familiar knock on your door.
You push yourself off the bed and move into the living room just in time to hear Heeseung’s voice come from the other side. “Y/N are you there?! Could you let me in??”
You let out a small hum before talking, “Could you please be quieter…I’d prefer not to get a noise complaint from some rather annoying neighbours.”
He quietens down as the door unlocks with a click.
There stands Heeseung. He’s wearing sweatpants and a loose fitting t-shirt, he looks so casual, so much more approachable like this. But then again you hadn’t ever seen him out of his hospital issued scrubs and attire. He’s holding a bag in his hand which looks quite filled with god knows what.
“You doing okay??” He asks as he enters.
“Do you want the truth or what you’re going to want to hear??”
“The truth.”
You flop onto the couch with a sigh, “Well for some reason I feel even more drained at home than I do at work. Guess I’m so used to being busy that my brain doesn’t know how to switch off anymore.”
“Makes sense. That’s why I’m here.”
You look at him completely perplexed, “And why exactly is that??”
“To take care of you. I’ve got supplies in this bag, food, a weighted stuffed animal…my sister recommended it. I just thought you always take such good care of everyone else but no one ever does the same for you…”
He wasn’t wrong…but then again taking care of people was your job after all.
Heeseung pulls from the bag the ingredients for your favourite type of chicken noodle soup. “I heard from Mina that this was your favourite and I figured you could use something other than takeout.”
“How would you know about my takeout?? Are you spying on me, Dr Lee Heeseung??” Your tone is teasing.
“Nope simply made an inference from the takeout boxes sat on the kitchen counter. Besides, you need actual nutritious food.”
“Hmmm, I accept your offering of the chicken noodle soup.”
Not long after, you’re curled up in bed when that nostalgic aroma of your mothers classic chicken noodle soup starts to make its way towards you.
In walks Heeseung holding a steaming bowl filled to the brim with your favourite. “Here, it’s still piping hot just how you like it.”
The hot soup touches your lips immediately giving the comfort that you’d normally only have being back at home with your family.
“I see you’ve done your research. It’s perfect.”
“I’ll have to inform Mina of that, she was rather convinced that I’d mess it up. Also if you ever find yourself in the situation where you’ve done something wrong under no circumstances tell Mina or Jia. They give in rather easily when being interrogated.”
You shake your head dramatically, “Seriously?! Guess you’re my only accomplice whom I can trust now.”
He smirks, “Oh so I’ve been promoted to accomplice now.”
“…I suppose so. This chicken noodle soup counts as an act of loyalty.”
The bowl is fully emptied soon after. You’ve drained it dry to the point where there’s no evidence of the chicken noodle soup which previously it was overflowing with.
Heeseung takes the bowl from your hands and sets it down on the bedside table. “Anything else I can do for you??”
“Don’t you have a job to be getting to?? You know you have an ER to run??”
“I told them I’d be a bit late. Still got a little while until my shift starts anyways…so anything else you want??”
I mean you’d be yearning for someone to cuddle for a while now but that didn’t exactly seem appropriate to ask of someone who’s essentially your boss.
“Y/N?? You need anything??”
You shake your head, “Nope.”
“I know you’re lying.”
How could he read you so damn well?! It was so aggravating!!
“…it’s not exactly appropriate,” you mumble.
“What is it??”
You look down at your hand, twiddling your fingers together awkwardly. “Just a hug…” your voice is barely audible.
Without hesitation, Heeseung sits down beside you on the edge of the bed and pulls you into his arms. “When you said that I thought you meant something actually inappropriate,” he murmurs against your hair.
“Well I kinda think it is giving we’re coworkers…”
“We also aren’t in a professional setting so right now it could be argued that I’m simply comforting my friend.”
You look up at him, eyes hopeful. “Friends??”
“Friends,” he agrees.
🩹
Despite Heeseung’s original advice for you to stay off for a few days, you end up returning to the hospital on the third day.
After Heeseung’s care last night you feel suitably rested and recharged. Sure everyone’s still a bit weary due to the passing out incident but after hearing you’ve sufficiently rested their nerves seem to ease.
“Just don’t be fainting on any of our patients. Some of them come to us for heart attacks; they aren’t in need of another one.” Mina tells you just before your shift begins.
You roll your eyes playfully, “It was one time Mina. One time that everyone refuses to let go of.”
“In all fairness it was only like three days ago…that’s still rather recent. Oh also I’ve organised that you’ll be taking a rest break every couple of hours, so you can replenish your systems.”
You sigh, “You are literally like an overbearing sister Mina.”
“Hey I’m just trying to take precautions to ensure the best care for both my patients and my staff.”
You can’t help but giggle at how similar her and Heeseung sound right now.
“What this is no laughing matter Y/N!!”
“You just sound like a very certain someone right now…who’s name starts with a H.” You manage to say in between laughs.
Mina gasps, “Do you know how offensive that is to me?? I am nothing like that grump!!”
“Yeah…yeah. Anyways I’m gonna go tend to my first patient so sulk all you want.”
It’s room 111 again. This room only seemed slightly cursed by now.
You push open the door to reveal Mrs Chen lying on that bed again. “Mrs Chen, so we meet again!!” You're back to using the enthusiastic, professional voice again.
“Oh well hello again my dear!!”
You pump some hand sanitizer onto your hand before approaching her. “So what brings you back to the ER Mrs Chen??” Your tone is gentle yet probing.
“Well I don’t think it’s too much of a big deal but my arm occasionally feels a bit tingly. So my daughter brought me in but right now she’s outside signing some forms. She keeps saying it’s better to be safe rather than sorry but I feel as though I must bother you folks an awful lot.”
“It’s no trouble at all Mrs Chen…it’s our jobs after all.”
You pull out a blood pressure cuff, “Could I wrap this around your arm please?? It may feel a little tight or uncomfortable when it inflates but it shouldn’t hurt. It’s just to measure your blood pressure.”
She nods and holds out her arm allowing you to wrap it around. Given Mrs Chen’s reputation and her particular taste she’s being remarkably cooperative today.
As you secure it around her arm she starts speaking out of the blue. “My dear, who's that handsome doctor outside??”
Your eyes immediately fall on Heeseung but then again Mrs Chen probably finds anyone with a face handsome at her age. “Who do you mean Mrs Chen??”
She points directly at Heeseung, “Him. He’s very appealing to the eyes. Will he be paying me a visit anytime soon??”
The cuff starts to inflate around her arm. “That’s Dr Lee Heeseung, he’s the ER attending on night shifts so yes he probably will be paying us a visit pretty soon. Is that an issue Mrs Chen??”
“Well when I look like this, yes it is!! We must fix my appearance at once!!”
“Mrs Chen I can assure you that he’s seen people in far worse condition than you are right now. And in my opinion you look perfectly fine.”
You lean down to take off the cuff and she whispers. “Does he have a girlfriend??”
“Not that I’m aware of-“
The door opens with a slight creak sound and in walks heeseung, you could swear by now that he has a sixth sense to know when people are talking about him. “Mrs Chen you’re back so soon?? Did you really miss us all that much??”
“Well if I’m being honest I had no intention of returning!!” She defends herself, “It was my daughter. She is just a bit overly cautious at times.”
“Well I’m sure that as Y/N has already mentioned that it’s better you come and visit us just in case.”
You’re giving Heeseung a brief rundown on Mrs Chen’s condition when she speaks up again, “Have the two of you ever thought about dating?! Your visual chemistry is satisfying for my eyes.”
“Mrs Chen I don’t think…” you trail off.
“What I think Y/N was going to say is that it wouldn’t be very professional or appropriate if we dated…”
Mrs Chen gasps, “But you still aren’t saying no!!”
You both let out a sigh in unison. “Well I’m not denying that I would be open to going out with Y/N one time.” Heeseung says.
I’m sorry what?!
Your jaw drops agape. What the hell did he mean?!
“I’m simply just saying that now isn’t the correct time and place to discuss it.”
🩹
And that’s how you ended up on a date with Dr Lee Heeseung, the resident grump of the ER.
You both had the morning off so decided to settle for a small cafe spot just outside of the city. It was perfect- far enough away from the hospital to give you privacy from any possible prying eyes.
When you arrive he’s already sat inside the cafe waiting for you. If you knew one thing about Heeseung it was that he had the tendency to be early.
“This still feels so…” you murmur, taking a seat across from him.
“Weird, wrong??” He finishes your sentence for you. “Yeah I get it. Guess we’re just so used to hanging around in break rooms that anything slightly more formal feels strange.”
“…I still can’t believe that this is happening because of Mrs Chen of all people.”
Heeseung shrugs, “She just gave me a way to say what I’d been wanting to for a while now…what are you thinking of getting??”
“Pancakes.”
“You know you're very decisive when it comes to your food choices,” he says with a chuckle.
“God forbid a girl knows what she likes!!”
The two of you continue to talk whilst waiting for the food to be brought out. It feels nice to have this lighthearted moment outside of work, especially with someone like Heeseung.
“Do you think we’ve ever treated anyone from here who had like an allergic reaction or something??”
Heeseung almost spits out his drink at your random reference back to work, “I thought you were supposed to be the optimistic one?!”
“I’m being realistic. People could just eat something without realising they’re allergic to it.”
“Well to answer your question unless it was severe then nope. They’d be diverted to a smaller hospital that was closer by…i thought we agreed to keep this part of our lives separate from the work part??”
“Ughhh but it’s so difficult,” you whine. “Everything just reminds me of that place.”
The waitress places the pancakes down in front of you and Heeseung waits until she leaves to start speaking again. “Even these pancakes??”
You nod solemnly, “These give me flashbacks to the time that Jia spilt maple syrup all over the break room couch and it like absorbed so anytime anyone sat down it would just be sticky…”
His eyes widen, “That was you guys?!”
“It’s not like we did it on purpose!!”
“Didn’t an intern literally quit the program because of that?? Because everyone was blaming them for it??”
You look away innocently, “Possibly…”
By the time that your date is technically over you can only be described as a flustered mess. Your cheeks warm from emotion.
You try to split the cost of the food but Heeseung ends up paying for it all- of course he does.
As you’re walking out Heeseung stops to look down at you, “Do you wanna come back to my place for a bit or??”
You did but the universe had other plans. “…I can't, I have to go do some important family things.”
He gives you a small pout and those irresistible doe eyes in an attempt to sway your decision, “More important than me??”
“Do not give me that face Heeseung!! I can’t believe you’re trying to weaponise your cute little bambi eyes against me!!”
For a man known for his harsh nature at work he was shockingly adorable when he wanted to be.
“Hmmm you shouldn’t have expressed how much you liked them then. Now when ever you won’t do something for me work I’ll just whip these out then bam you’ll be whipped.”
“Hey!! I’m not the one who doesn’t do what you want!! That’s Mina…and those eyes would not work on her at all.”
He raises an eyebrow, “How could you be so sure of that??”
“Mina has like a heart of steel, it doesn't even soften for crying children…in fact that just worsens it….she also talks to inanimate objects nicer than she does to real people.”
“…Yeah Mina’s an interesting character,” Heeseung admits. “Well anyways i guess if you really can’t stay then you’ll just have to give me a parting gift.”
You pull his head down and press a small, delicate into his lips. “Was that satisfactory enough for you Dr Lee??”
He shakes his head, “Unfortunately not…i think ill need a few more. After all, I have been waiting a rather long time for this so you better make it worth the wait.”
You kiss him again and again and again, until your lips are slightly puffy from the work they’ve been putting in and your lip gloss has partially stained his lips. Seeing this you pull away with a small giggle.
“Why are you laughing at me??”
You reach up and wipe some of the gloss off his lips onto your finger, “Here.” Showing him your now pink, glossy finger Heeseung can’t help but chuckle as well.
“Guess you really proved it was worth the wait hmm??”
“Yep…but I have to go now.”
Heeseung nods understandingly, “Text me when you get home okay??”
“Will do!!” You shout whilst rushing off.
🩹
The two of you start ‘officially’ dating shortly after.
You keep it quiet, especially at work. Only a select few people know- that being Jia and Mina. It’s not like you’d be able to keep a secret from them anyway. But you do have them swear they will not tell anyone else in this building.
Jia takes her oath particularly seriously whilst Mina just jokes saying she ‘has no one else to tell in the hospital.’ She wasn’t wrong given that you and Jia were the only people she could actually tolerate.
At work there’s pretty much no change. During those hours you and Heeseung act indifferent towards each other. You keep professional boundaries. At most someone would just presume that you were just his favourite nurse, which they wouldn’t be wrong about.
However, outside everything changes. You spend most of your time where you aren’t working together. You even take a few ‘coincidental’ days off at the same time.
Nobody at the hospital bothers to question it though. For all they know you could just both be sick at the same time.
Dating someone who was essentially your superior at work wasn’t easy. But you made it work.
tags: @nikidikiy @heeunleash @hoonguin @wonscapes @woninlove @your-local-lune @jazzygirlengene @rikismists @rikischromehart @mingoonerr @evelynnroseeee @kristynaaah lmk if you wanna be added!!
