& crossroads.
starter for @hellegate // Alu
– Bampton, 1808.
Sir Frederick Abinger is twenty years her senior, and her answer is due in a week. They have met a total of two and a half times. In none of the instances did Valerie feel like they'd shared any particularly interesting morsel of conversation at the functions they had attended, and she had remained amiable but impartial, offering him the same attention she would to a dusty wall fixture, or a mushroom vol-au-vent. Naturally, when he calls at her aunt's estate in the heart of the Oxfordshire countryside, announcing that he is in search of a wife after having been widowed for only a month, Valerie is horrified.
Armandine tries to get her to see reason. This is the fifth suitor Valerie is attempting to dodge, though she had only just turned nineteen. "You have been out for three years." Her aunt presses, hand anxiously put to her bosom, following her storming niece around the house. Her voice pinches and cracks when she speaks, incensed with emotion. "Mr Abinger is a good man, he can take care of you."
"His late wife's not been cold for long."
"Valerie!"
She takes off in the early hours of the following morning cloaked in black velvet, forager's basket and knife hanging from her elbow, after a night of too much worry and too little sleep. Despair continued to churn at the pit of her belly, the breadth of her lungs. It had boiled into anger when she rose, sweltering in Spring. She is angry that her last known family member is dying (we don't speak of her mother...), and how that makes her feel utterly untethered, left in a world where she can only be property.
Not yet. God, let it not be just yet. Please, God, not this one, maybe a better one will come along, maybe there will be someone perfectly reasonable and tolerable, maybe Armandine would hang on for a year or two still. Ivory fingers clutch a small, gold cross necklace at her throat as prayers occupy her every thought, begging to be seen. Intervention. Time. Anything.
The fog is thick around her, concealing the path and most of the meadow she lingers on after spotting a few dandelion flower heads amidst the green, clusters of sun trapped in the dirt. Valerie crouches and begins to pluck at some young nettle leaves, too distraught to feel the sting, collecting them delicately in the woven basket as dew sticks to lightly rosed cheeks, eyes glazed with fury. Despite the dead quietude of the morning, she remains so absorbed in her inner turmoil she doesn't notice the rustling in the high grass just a few feet ahead, or the horned creature intently watching her through the mist.








