I know everyone is usually the most heartbroken over the finale of Merlin, but the episode that gets me the worst is The Kindness of Strangers. Everytime I watch that episode I cry. Helva, Alators apprentice, finds Merlin and if I remember correctly, she bows to him. She dies for him. Alator loses his magic for him. That episode breaks my heart because Helva goes to Merlin and expects him to be the savior of magic and it's just so sad because we see the weight of prophecy on Merlin just to keep Arthur alive, but we don't get to see the weight of the prophecy to bring magic to the kingdom. Because it's secondary in Merlins mind and keeping Arthur alive and safe comes first. And it's just so heartbreaking to think about all the people with magic who knew the prophecy and knew it was Merlin, or at least someone close to Arthur, and to hear of the battle at Camlann and to hear king Arthur died. And if they all knew the prophecy and know that King Arthur and Emrys were supposed to unite the land, how heartbreaking would it be to witness that and realize that the land they all prayed for wasn't going to happen. For people with magic to be thinking, maybe the reports of Arthurs death are wrong, to be wondering where Emrys is. If some people knew Merlin was Emrys, were they wondering where he was? Or, for the people who didn't know Merlin was Emrys, did they hear stories of Arthurs death paired with stories that the kings close manservant was never heard from again, but no one could confirm his death, do you think it clicked for them that Merlin was Emrys? Do you think Merlin didn't go back to Camelot not just because of the emotional pain of returning, but also because in context, people with magic would realize who he was? Do you think Merlin spent the rest of that time hiding from people with magic? Always trying to avoid his own people? To avoid the guilt of his failure?
