My Little Love
Chapter 42.2
Word Count: Chapters 42.1 and 42.2 are a total of 21k (insane I know). I had to split it because of tumblr...
Warnings: so many tears, fluff, non descriptive birth scene, Charlotte being Charlotte and Henry being Henry
A/N: I've been sitting on the completed chapter for almost a month now and honestly I've just been hesitant to post it. This chapter is basically the end of the main story so it's near and dear to me but somehow it still feels like it's not good enough. While this chapter does show some of Sugar's pregnancy I mostly wrote about the family's life through out the 9 months... I will be posting some other stuff about the Barnes family and of course any asks that anyone might send in as well as a My Little Love Universe epilogue.
Series Masterlist
It was the morning of the dance recital and you hadn’t seen Lottie this anxious since you’d brought her home. She paced around and held back tears as she waited for her dad to come back on time.
“Sweet Angel, it's still very early. Daddy still has time to get here for the dance.” You try to soothe her.
“I no see it mama. I no dance with daddy.”
You blink back tears as Lottie finally starts to cry. There really isn’t much you can do. Both Henry and your dad learned the dance just in case but your little girl was so distraught you thought she wouldn’t be able to participate at all. She had been so excited and practiced so hard to get all her moves right. Now you try to console her and reassure her that everything will be alright.
An hour or so before the recital you have to call in reinforcements. Lottie doesn’t want to leave the house until Bucky gets there but you still haven’t heard anything from him. Nat walks into the house ready to back you up because sometimes it takes a village.
“Lots of Love, what is this I hear that you won’t go to your dance?” Nat crouched down by her bed and rubs soothing circles on her back.
“Daddy's not gonna dance with me.”
“We don’t know that for sure.”
Lottie sits up, her face a picture of devastation. All pout and red rimmed eyes as she looks at Nat who returns her pout. “I no see daddy.” Lottie says as she taps on her head.
“Oh baby, you know you’re still learning how to use your abilities. Maybe he’s on his way now but you can’t see it. What if your dad is getting ready to head straight to the recital? What if he doesn’t see you there?”
“Weally?”
“Yes really. He’s been so excited to dance with you but you’re not ready.”
Lottie gasps. “No I be weady to dance.” She hops off the bed. “Mama I needs to be weady.” She yells as she looks for you.
Nat shakes her head and smirks as she gets up to help out. She meets you in the living room and you give her a teary smile.
“Thanks. I didn’t know what else to do.”
“That’s what aunts are for.” She smiles as Lottie runs in with all her hair products in hand. “Alright Lots of love, let me do your hair.”
*****
The auditorium was buzzing as family and friends found their seats. Little kids ran off backstage to finish getting ready and start their warm ups. It was chaotic to say the least.
Your dad and some of the team were sitting in the audience, making sure to save a few seats while you were in the back with Lottie and Henry. There was still no word from Bucky and you were worried that Lottie wouldn’t want to dance.
“Sweet Angel, I’m gonna go take a seat and Henry will stay with you so that he can be your dance partner ok?” You say as you smooth down her hair one last time.
“It’s Kay mama.”
“Alright then. Break a leg.”
Lottie gasps dramatically as she looks at you with wide eyes. “I no bweak nothing mama.”
You chuckle. “Break a leg means have a good show.”
“Oh, why you no say that mama?”
“I’m sorry. Have a good show, Sweet Angel.”
“Tank you mama.”
You waddle your way through the group of kids and parents until you make it to your seat. Eddie already had the camera ready to record everything for Bucky. You tried not to think about how upset he would be that he missed Lottie’s first recital but you’d make sure he’d be able to watch it all.
****
“Alright my dancing bugs,” the dance teacher clapped her hands twice. “Let’s find our special dance partners so that we can get started.”
The kids run around finding the person they had picked for their special first dance. Henry takes Lottie’s hand and squeezes gently. She’s starting to pout as she looks around. There’s no sign of Bucky anywhere.
“Everyone get in line, we're about to start.” The teacher says with a smile.
All the kids and their person start to make a line but Lottie stays to the side.
“C’mon baby, we have to get in line.”
“But daddy-“
“I know, baby. I bet he tried really hard to get here on time.”
Lottie looks up at her big brother, tears threatening to spill as she finally accepts that her daddy might not make it.
“And it looks like I made it just in time.” Bucky kneels next to the kids with a huff.
“Daddy.” Lottie bursts into tears as she wraps her arms around his neck.
“I’m sorry I was late, doll. I just had to get changed.”
“I’ll go sit with mama.” Henry says before giving Bucky a hug and a huge smile.
“Ok doll, let’s get in line.”
Henry makes his way down the row of seats and takes the empty one next to you.
“Henry, what are you doing here?” You ask, concerned that Lottie wouldn’t go on.
“Well my guess is that Bucky got back there just in time.”
You turn to find Steve, Wanda and Sam, who had all been with Bucky on the mission sitting in the row behind you. It made you get teary eyed the moment you saw them.
“He made it?” You ask as you fight the tears.
Steve just nods towards the stage just as Lottie and Bucky take their places. Bucky was in the blue button up shirt he went out to buy just to match Lottie’s dance costume. You make sure Eddie records the whole thing.
They did their dance, neither of them missing a step. The matching smiles Lottie and Bucky had were incredible. You finally lost your resolve and shed a few tears as Bucky picked your Sweet Angel up and did a turn. He dipped her and held her hands as she did her part of the routine.
The music ends and all the dancers and their special dance partner take a bow. After a round of applause everyone goes backstage again. A few minutes later Bucky takes the empty seat next to you. He’s giving you a toothy grin and he’s even slightly blushing.
“I knew you’d make it.” You murmur before giving him a kiss.
“Nice move there Bucky Suave.” Sam pats his shoulder.
“No need to be jealous Sam.”
“It’s about to start.” You shush them both before leaning into Buck’s side. “By the way, how did you get here so fast?”
“The jet is hovering over the building.” He replies as the lights go down and the spotlight turns on.
You stare at him for a moment before he looks at you with a smirk.
“What? I couldn’t let my best girl down.”
“You’re the best dad ever. I’m so proud of you.”
Bucky blushes. He takes your hand as he turns his attention back to the stage.
Lottie’s class walks back out. Her eyes immediately scan the crowd to find you. She waves excitedly when she sees her whole family is there for her. The teacher has to usher the kids into place before the music starts.
You and Bucky can’t keep your eyes off Lottie as she prances around the stage. She is cheesing it up big time and it gets a few laughs. But overall she’s so good and not just because she’s your little girl. She practiced every single day to make sure she knew every single step by heart. When one of the girls starts to cry from stage fright Lottie and another girl take her hand and do the rest of the routine together.
When the music finally fades out everyone starts to applaud. The class giggles as they join hands to take their bow. There’s a few more dances for the more experienced groups but at the end all of the dance students walk back out and do one short final dance together. When that’s done Bucky’s the first one on his feet clapping the loudest for his little girl. Steve and Henry tie for second loudest.
Bucky moved to meet Lottie by the stage door. She’s all giggles and hugs as Bucky carries her back to the group. Everyone congratulates Lottie and she even gets flowers.
“You were amazing, Sweetheart.” Steve kissed the top of her head.
Lottie giggled in return as she hid her face against his shoulder. She gives him a muffled, “tanks” in return.
The star of the night even got bashful when her Auntie Nat complimented not only her dance skills but how she helped a fellow dancer. Overall it was a fantastic night. Your girl got her special dance with her dad and she did great in her regular routine.
****
“How bad is it?” You asked as you walked into the bathroom, where Bucky was taking a bath.
He groaned as he shifted in the bathtub. There was a huge bruise on the right side of his torso that spread to his stomach and his back.
“I’ll be fine. It’s already healing.”
“Baby,” you sigh as you sit at the edge of the tub. “You shouldn’t have danced tonight with fractured ribs.”
Bucky’s eyes shoot open and he looks up at you in disbelief. “And disappoint our girl? Never. I’d rather lose another limb before I let that happen.”
“You’re a great dad, you know that?”
Bucky’s cheeks go pink. They always do when you give him a compliment but more so when you talk about him as a father. You smile down at him as you play with his hair, thinking back to when it all started. How unsure he was but how far he’s come and stepped up to be the father you knew he could be.
“The kids are already in bed so take your time. And no training or working on Peanut’s room until you’re better.”
“Doctor’s orders?” He smirks as you get up.
“More important, your pregnant wife’s orders.” You throw a glare in his direction.
“That’s scarier.”
“Good. Now relax, you deserve it.”
About twenty minutes later Bucky shuffles out of the bathroom. Black sweatpants sitting low on his hips and shirtless. The bruise has gotten smaller but it’s still there. He still grimaces when he lays down in bed.
“Better?”
“Much better.” Bucky sighs as he finds a comfortable position to lay in. “I hate this thing.”
Bucky pokes at the pregnancy pillow that has become a barrier between the two of you. You huff a laugh while getting comfortable yourself, something that’s become a little bit more difficult the further along you get in your pregnancy.
“I’m not going on any more missions for a while.” After a beat of silence.
“Really?” You asked hopefully.
“Yeah, I worked it out with the team. My priority is being here for you and the kids. You need to be as relaxed and comfortable as possible. And I don’t want to miss anything else. Besides, I also want to finish the nursery.”
“I love you so much.”
Bucky smiles as he closes his eyes. “I love you more.”
You were sitting in the living room with piles of clean clothes around you. Half of it was already folded and ready to be put away when Bucky finally made his way downstairs. He leans over the back of the couch and presses a kiss to the top of your head. You turn to get a better look at him and Bucky knows you want to look at his injury so he pulls up the black t-shirt he had on. The bruise is almost all gone and you nod approvingly.
“I saved you some breakfast and coffee.”
“Thanks, Sugar.”
Lottie hums a song to herself as she makes her way into the living room. “Daddy!”
“Good Morning my dancing Doll.” Bucky says as he catches Lottie mid jump.
“Mowning Daddy, I missed you so much.”
“I missed you more.” Bucky replies as he walks towards the kitchen.
He sets Lottie down on the counter and warms up his breakfast, pours his coffee and gets Lottie some fruit. She takes the fork from Bucky’s hand and feeds him. They talk amongst themselves about the recital and how they were definitely the best dancers. When you give them a little ‘hey’ Lottie covers her mouth and giggles, her eyes shining with mischief.
Henry joins a few minutes later. He has a big smile on his face when he sees that Bucky’s awake.
“Done practicing bub?” Bucky asks as he washes the dirty dishes.
“Yup. Can we go to the library today?”
“We sure can. I have to go to the hardware store with your grandfather too.” Bucky replies as he dries his hands
“Is it for Peanut’s room?” Henry asks.
“Yup. Still got a lot of work to do.”
“Hope you’re finished before Peanut decides to join us.” You murmur as you join them in the kitchen. “Sweet boy, can you put your clothes away before leaving, please?”
“Yeah.” Henry runs to the living room and takes his clothes up to his room.
“How about you, twinkle toes? Can you put your clothes away all by yourself?”
Lottie sighs, “I can do its. But den we watch a moobie?”
“Whatever you want to watch while the boys go out.”
“Kay. Daddy puts me down pwease.”
Bucky smiles and helps her on the floor, watching her slip away while singing. He moves over to you and takes you in his arms.
“You should’ve told me the laundry needed to be done. I could’ve handled it.”
“You just came back from a long mission and were injured, you needed to sleep. Besides, it's just some clothes. I can handle it.”
“Still, I want you to rest and relax for what’s left of the pregnancy. I’ll take care of everything else.”
“You won’t find me complaining. Making this kid is a lot of work.” You run a hand over your belly.
Bucky’s hand rests over yours and he smiles fondly as he feels Peanut move around.
“Exactly. Since I won’t be going on missions for a while I’ll do everything I can to make sure you’re comfortable and cared for. You won’t have to lift a finger.” He says before leaning in and pressing his lips to yours in a soft kiss.
“Mama!” Lottie yells from upstairs. “I needs help.”
“What were you saying?”
“Go sit. I’ll take care of it.” Bucky ushers you gently toward the living room again, grabs yours and his clean clothes and heads to the stairs.
You sigh as you make yourself comfortable on the couch.
****
Before Bucky left he made sure to get you everything you needed for your movie time with Lottie. You would say he went a little overboard with the snacks but he was so proud you just thanked him.
“Ok little man,” Bucky was kneeling in front of you and was running a hand over your belly while he talked to Peanut. “I want you to be on your best behavior for your ma, you hear me? No kicking or elbowing her ribs. Give her a break ok?”
“Fingers crossed he listens.”
Bucky kisses your belly and then kisses you softly. “Call me if you need anything.”
“I will.”
“Alright Doll, be good for your ma.”
“Am good all the times.” Lottie protests as Bucky scoops her up and kisses her cheek.
“It’s just a reminder. Have fun watching your movie.”
“Kay.”
“Ready to go, bubs?”
“Ready! Bye mama. Bye baby. Bye Peanut. Love you.”
With that Bucky and Henry walk out of the house. They took with them a long list of things they needed to buy in order to get the nursery ready. Before heading out of the compound though, they stop by the apartment section of the main building and pick Eddie up.
****
“Eight books?” Bucky nods, impressed by Henry’s choices.
“Yeah but they’re not all for me. I got some for baby and for Peanut too.”
“For Peanut?”
“Yeah. I read to Peanut sometimes. Mama says it’s good because that means he’ll know my voice once he’s born.” Henry looks up at Bucky and smiles, excited to do something for his baby brother.
“That’s good bubs. Let’s check these books out and head to the hardware store. Maybe we can even pick up a treat for the girls, what do you say?”
Henry nods as he heads to the front of the library, books in hand. Bucky smiles down fondly at his boy, proud of how much Henry’s grown.
****
“We have all the wood we could need.” Eddie says as he walks in with Henry and Bucky into the hardware store. “By my notes we need some of the hardware, wood stains and paints.”
“Then let’s get to work. Ed could you handle the screws, nails and everything else. Bub how about you help me choose the paint?”
“Ok.”
“See you in a few minutes.” Ed heads to one side of the store while Bucky and Henry walk toward the paint section.
“Here is what your ma wants for Peanut’s room.” Bucky holds his phone out for Henry to see the pictures he has as inspiration. “Think you can help me find a nice green color?”
“Yeah.” Henry nods excitedly before running to the display of paint colors.
Henry takes his job very seriously. He takes paint samples and holds them up side by side. He discards the ones he doesn’t like.
“What about this one? I think it’s a nice shade of green.” Henry hands the sample over to Bucky.
“Good eye bub. I think it’s perfect. Let’s get some samples and we can paint an area of the wall and make sure it looks perfect.”
“Can I help paint?” Henry asks.
“Of course. I’m going to need your help for this.”
“Are you guys ready to go?” Eddie stops by the paint counter with a cart full of the small things that were needed.
Bucky and Eddie had been working on designing furniture for the nursery for weeks. They’d even taken some woodworking classes behind your back to make sure everything came out perfect. Bucky was extremely excited to be able to do everything for the nursery from the furniture to painting. You have given him everything he ever wanted and more. The way he saw it was the least he could do to make you happy. So it had to come out perfect. It did help that Lottie kept seeing glimpses of the room and she’d tell him what it looked like. But that would be their little secret. Bucky can’t help the smile on his lips as he loads up the car with everything they bought and then makes a few stops to find your current cravings.
****
“What are you doing out here?” Sam asks as he jogs towards you.
You were wearing leggings, a sports bra, a jacket and carrying a water bottle. The doctor had recommended you stay active during the pregnancy. Obviously your old workout routine was out of the question and maybe some days you didn’t feel like working out but you tried your best.
“Just getting my steps in.”
“And Bucky?” Sam asks as he slows to walk beside you on the track.
“He’s working on the nursery. Said I needed to stay away from the house for an hour while he organized his supplies.”
Sam smiles and shakes his head. Just then Lottie rides by in her pink bicycle (with training wheels), decked out in pink and glittery protective gear.
“Am so fast mama.” She yells as she speeds past in order to get to Steve who's further ahead.
You and Sam chuckle at her antics.
“Are you ready for baby Barnes to arrive?”
“More than ready. I think he almost cracked my ribs the other day with how hard he was kicking.”
“Super babies will do that to you.”
You hum as you run a hand down your side after feeling some sharp movements. “Well if he keeps going he’s going to be grounded when he decides to show up.”
Sam chuckles as he keeps you company.
*****
“Alright, we have almost everything cut. We just need a few small pieces and we can start to assemble.” Eddie says as he positions a piece of wood on the table saw.
“While you finish there I’ll start staining the pieces for the crib.”
“What can I do?” Henry looks at everything that’s laid out on the floor.
“Well it’s a lot of work to stain these pieces. I thought you could help me. What do you say?”
Henry nods as he moves to stand by his dad. Bucky starts to work on a smaller piece and explains everything that needs to be done.
32 Weeks
Nat, Wanda and Pepper had outdone themselves. They’d taken over planning the baby shower and while you had wanted something small, you’re more than happy with what they had done. The first floor of your house was decorated in greens and earthy tones. A balloon arch was set up in a corner where the guests could take pictures. There were more plants than you remember having but it just brought the dinosaur theme together. Everything was made to match the dinosaur theme of the nursery. From the baby dino cutouts decorating the gift table, which was already piled high with gifts to the cute little dino egg shaped cake pops and dino cookies. They had thought of everything.
The team was there and so was Sarah, Laura, their kids, your family and even some of Bucky’s relatives. The biggest surprise though was Queen Ramonda. You and Bucky were touched that she’d made a trip just for the baby shower.
“Let me look at you.” She held her hands out for you to take. “Absolutely beautiful.”
“Thank you.” You look down at your cream colored dress that shows off your belly just right.
“I cannot wait to meet this little one.”
“We can’t wait either.” Bucky says as he wraps an arm around Queen Ramonda. “Thank you for coming.”
“I would not miss this celebration for the world.”
Nat comes up beside you and gently touches your lower back in order to get your attention. You and Bucky excuse yourself as you go around to all the guests and thank them for coming.
The house was alive with music and laughter. All the guests participated in some of the games that Wanda had put together. Wanda had also set up a onesie decoration station. Of course Tony had to make one look like an Ironman suit while Lottie snuck a white t-shirt for her and Henry so that she could make matching shirts.
It was all going great until it was time for gifts. While you weren’t opening all of them because there were too many you did open a few. Like the baby monitor Tony put together himself, better than anything on the market. Steve went overboard with books and diapers. But the best gift came from Henry.
“Mama,” Henry said in his shy voice.
“Yes sweet boy?”
“I have a gift for Peanut.”
“You do?” You smile at him, thinking it was maybe a plushie.
“Yeah, can I show you?”
“Of course.” You look over at Bucky, who was sitting next to you, to see if he knew what was going on. He just gave you a small shake of his head.
The small crowd parted in order to let Henry through. He came back a minute later with his keyboard and set it up in front of you. Henry didn’t say anything, he just started playing. It was a soft and soothing melody. You watched as he concentrated on the movements, making sure he didn’t miss a single note. By the time Henry hit the last key you were holding back tears.
“I call it Peanut’s lullaby. My piano teacher helped me write it and record it.” Henry says once everyone has finished clapping for him. “Uncle Tony helped me upload it so all you have to do is ask Friday to play it.”
You open your arms for Henry to step into. “That was very sweet of you, Henry. The lullaby is perfect.”
“You did great bubs.” Bucky smiles at Henry. “Peanut is gonna love it.”
“You think so?”
“I know so.” Bucky nods. “Now, it’s time for my gift.”
You follow Bucky up the stairs to the room you had picked out for Peanut.
“Are you ready?” Bucky asks with a smile on his face.
You nod excitedly. For days Bucky had teased you about the room. Eddie was no better. But now you would finally get to see Bucky’s labor of love. It was more than you could’ve imagined. One wall had a beautiful mural of mountains, trees and dinosaurs, all painted in shades of green while the others were painted in a soft cream color. The drawers all had little Dino handles. A wicker basket in the shape of a stegosaurus sat in the corner while a bookshelf in the shape of a brontosaurus sat against another wall. The most important part of the room took your breath away.
The crib Bucky had spent so much time working on was perfect. You made your way across the room to the beautifully built crib. At the end was a built-in changing table with drawers.
“It’s perfect.” You say as you turn to look around at him. “Everything’s perfect.”
“I can’t take all the credit. Your dad helped a lot. So did Steve and Sam. Even Henry pitched in.” Bucky tells you as he gets closer to you and accepts your kiss.
“One more thing.”
You pull away from Bucky at the sound of your dad’s voice. While Bucky had kissed you Steve and Joshua had snuck in and placed a rocking chair in an empty corner of the room.
“It’s perfect.” You sat down in the plush chair. “Thanks dad.”
“You’re welcome kitten.”
“He made it himself.” Bucky tells you.
“Really?” You blink back tears while looking up at your dad.
“Of course. Only the best for my kid.”
“Daddy.” You murmur while shedding a few tears.
Eddie smiles and bends down to kiss your forehead. The nursery was perfect. Bucky had outdone himself.
“Is so nice.” Lottie pipes up as she takes in the room. “But I sees it alweady. In my futuh dweams.” She smiles up at you and Bucky before turning her attention to other things in the room.
The rest of the afternoon was a blur of more games. Things got a little bit too heated between Sam and Clint about guessing Peanut’s weight.
****
By the time the baby shower was over you were exhausted. Your feet ached and so did your back. The kids were still running around with too much energy. Mostly from all the desserts they snuck when they thought you weren’t looking. Bucky was cleaning up the last few things from the party while you sat on the couch with your feet up. In the corner of the living room sat the pile of gifts, some still needed to be open. You were sure Peanut wouldn’t need clothes, shoes or toys for the first two years of his life.
“Alright sweet mama.” Bucky says as he sits by your feet. “Everything that needed to be done for today is done. I’ll take care of everything else tomorrow.”
“Wanda said she’d come by tomorrow to help.” You groan as Bucky starts to massage your feet and then your calves. “That feels so good.”
“If you give me a few minutes I can get a bath ready for you.”
“That sounds amazing.”
“And while you’re relaxing I’ll get the kids to bed.”
“Now that sounds like heaven. But good luck. They’ve had too many sweets and are still running on a sugar high.”
“They’ll be out like a light in no time.” Bucky stands and holds out both of his hands for you to take. “Now come on, let’s get you into full relaxation mode.”
~~~~~~~~~~~
“It feels so good.” You sighed with relief.
Bucky stood behind you, his chest pressed to your back. His arms wrapped around you as he held the weight of your belly. You melted against him as you enjoyed the moment of relief.
“You’re going to have to hold me like this until Peanut is born.”
Bucky chuckles while you rest your head against his shoulder in order to look up at him.
“We still need a name.”
“I know.” He murmurs.
“I think we won’t really know until we see him.”
“Yeah.” Bucky agrees as he gently lets go of your bump and grabs the lotion you’d been using on your belly throughout your pregnancy.
Bucky’s firm pressure first on your lower back and then gentle on your belly is amazing. You don’t know how he’s managed to be even more attentive than before. If he’s home you barely lift a finger. He takes care of as much as he can. All he wants is for you to have the best experience during this pregnancy as possible.
“Thanks baby.” You say once Bucky’s done with the impromptu massage.
“My pleasure.” He pats your ass and winks at you.
You lower your pajama top and waddle your way to the bed. Bucky is close behind, turning off lights and grabbing his own pajamas.
“Hold on,” Bucky says as he makes his way to your side and makes sure you’re comfortable. “Good?”
“Perfect.”
There’s a lightness in Bucky’s eyes. Something you’ve seen before but it’s more permanent now. Like he finally knows that everything he has isn’t going to be ripped away from him. That the life you’re bringing into this world was his choice too. He was fully in control.
Bucky leans down and kisses you softly. As soon as he pulls away Alpine jumps up and meows at him before settling down beside your bump. She nudges your belly with her head and purrs softly.
“That’s right Alpine, you take care of mama and Peanut.”
You smile up at him while trying to get as comfortable as possible. Before Bucky even turns the lights out and gets into bed you’re already asleep.
It started low in your belly, the pain. You breathed in through your nose and out through your mouth. But it was only one small cramp. It didn’t mean anything. Not when you had been having Braxton hick sporadically. The pain eases and you close your eyes in order to rest a bit.
You startle when you open your eyes a few minutes later. Lottie is standing in front of you with her hands on her hips. She eyes you from head to toe like she knows something you don’t. The truth is she probably does.
“DADDY!” She screeches. “DADDY, MAMA NEEDS HELP!”
“What? No I don’t, Sweet Angel. I’m ok.” You try to ease her distress but another contraction hits. It starts off subtle but grows in discomfort.
“I’m here. What is it? What happened?”
Bucky almost tripped over his own feet getting to the living room. His eyes are wide and slightly panicked. Your due date is a day away. While Molly, Sarah and Laura said that you might go past your due date the doctor thought you could give birth on the exact day. She said it had more to do with the serum and how it affects your body than anything else.
“Is it happening already?” Bucky looks at you trying to figure it out himself. His hands hover over you, not sure where to touch or if he should.
“Nothing is happening. I’m fine.”
“Mama you is not fine. You go,” Lottie clutches her stomach, closes her eyes and scrunches her face while making a small groan as if she were in pain. “Wike that.”
“That looks bad.”
“It’s not ba-“ you grimaces as the pain starts again.
“You see daddy.”
“Ok, it’s happening. I’m taking you to the medbay.” Bucky starts walking around, telling the kids to get their go bags.
It had been their idea to have go bags. As if this was a mission. They had toys and pajamas in their bags. All so they could stay with their grandpa while you gave birth. Something that wasn’t close to happening but Bucky didn’t believe you since at the last check up you were already three centimeters dilated. At least not until the doctor confirmed that it was too early to admit you. They sent you home where you had to wait it out.
“Sorry Sugar. Guess I’m just nervous. I want everything to go well.” Bucky said as you cuddled into his side on the couch.
You sighed as if that had been the biggest task of your life. Well any kind of movement felt like the most difficult thing you’ve ever done. Everything was swollen or achy. Your belly had somehow grown even more and as of a few weeks ago you couldn’t even see your toes. Bucky teased you and started calling you mama Penguin because of how you waddled everywhere.
“It’s ok baby. I get it. I’m nervous too.”
Bucky pulled away slightly and looked down at you with surprise. If anything he thought you would be ready for what was next.
“Really?”
You melt further into Bucky’s side. “Yeah. It’s just that with Lottie and Henry it was so different. They were older. They developed faster and differently.” You sigh, “what if I mess up?”
“Are you kidding me? If anything you should be worried that I’ll mess up with Peanut.”
“Why would you mess up with Peanut?”
He just gives you a look. As if it’s supposed to summarize every reason he wouldn’t be a good father.
“I’m me.” He finally says quietly, the plates of his left arm shifting softly as he moves it.
“You’re an amazing dad. Peanut will love you.”
“And you’re an amazing mother. He’s going to be a mama’s boy.”
“What if-“ you can’t voice the concern you’ve had throughout your pregnancy.
“What is it?”
“What if I become like her?”
The question sat heavy between you. You felt terrified that it would come true. Bucky was horrified that it had even crossed your mind. He pulls away from you and kneels in front of you on the couch. Bucky takes your hands and places them over your belly and then he places his hands over yours.
“You are nothing like her.” He starts by saying.
“But-“
“No buts, Y/N. You have spent your whole life doing good things. You are nothing like her and you never will be.”
Bucky’s words make you cry. Peanut moves against your hand as if he understands his father and agrees.
“Peanut is going to love you so much. I know this is different from Henry and Charlotte but I have no doubt that you’re going to continue to be the amazing mother you are. I’m not scared of what’s next because I have you by my side and you’re the strongest person I know.”
You’re ugly crying as you pull Bucky closer so that you can hug him. Bucky grunts as your hold on him tightens. You hiss in pain as a contraction ripples through your belly.
“It’s ok. Just breathe through it.”
“Bucky?”
“What is it, Sugar?”
“I think my water just broke.”
24 hours later
Bucky had been through so much in his life. None of that prepared him to watch the love of his life give birth. He was in awe as you felt another contraction hit. You gritted your teeth and gripped his hand with such force he thought his bones would break. Bucky would happily break all his bones if it meant that you wouldn’t feel anything. But in between the contractions and the doctor giving you instructions to push you’d look up at him. Tired and teary eyed, Bucky could only give you encouraging words. After everything he’d done, the lives he’d taken here you were giving him one more precious gift. It was more than he deserved.
“You’re doing amazing, Sugar.” Bucky leaned in and kissed your temple in between you pushing.
“I can’t.” You cried, tired after so many hours of labor.
“It’s almost over, sweetheart. Just a little bit more.”
You leaned your head into Bucky’s shoulder. He was leaning in close, one arm behind you in order to support you, the other holding your hand.
“Get ready. I need another push, Y/N.” The doctor announced.
Your breathing was shallow as you groaned. When you heard the word push you did. Bucky was at your side the whole time.
“Just one more.”
“You hear that, Sugar. One more and we’ll officially meet Peanut. You’re so strong, baby.” He murmured as he wiped sweat from your brow.
“Just one more.” You said back and then braced yourself.
It was all so sudden. Like all sound had been sucked away except for the one that mattered. A piercing cry filled the room. Loud and strong and it made you cry too. In a second a weight is placed on your chest and you look down.
“Hi, Peanut.” You cried as chaos whirled around you. Bucky was right beside you, leaning in to get a good look at your boy.
“Wow,” Bucky whispered. “He’s perfect.”
“Would you like to do the honors?” A nurse handed Bucky a pair of scissors and showed him where to cut the umbilical cord.
Bucky’s attention shifts back to you quickly. He’s in tears as he watches you caress Peanut’s plump cheek and coo at him. Then you look at Bucky with a devastatingly beautiful and tired smile and you tell him the last thing he expected.
“Say happy birthday daddy.” You take Peanuts hand and wave.
The realization hits him like a ton of bricks.
“I’m never getting you anything for your birthday again.”
Bucky gives you a watery laugh before he leans in and kisses you deeply.
A nurse takes Peanut away. “Dad, would you like to help clean him off?”
“Go.” You push him away. “Make sure our boy is ok.”
****
“Mother and baby are healthy and resting.” Bucky announces to everyone in the waiting room. “He came in weighing eleven pounds, and measuring twenty two inches.”
Even though it was one in the morning Steve, Nat, Sam, Clint, Bruce, Tony, Wanda, Vision, Joshua and Sophia were there. Even Yelena had made an appearance. They cheered and congratulated him on the news.
“It’s a hell of a birthday gift.” Sam claps Bucky on the shoulder with a laugh.
“Best gift I could’ve asked for.” Bucky smiles.
“Do we get to know his name?”
“Soon. I promise. Now I have to get back.” Bucky leaves as some of the team protests and the other half gives one final cheer.
At the door to your room Bucky stops. The sight before him makes his heart want to explode. Jenna, one of the nurses that helped with Charlotte when she first got here, handed you a bundled up Peanut. He was somehow a big baby and yet so small. Bucky cried again. You looked ethereal in this moment. Through blurred vision he watched as you cooed and gently bounced Peanut to stop his fussing. The lullaby Henry made for him played softly.
“Hey, pal.” Steve placed a hand gently on Bucky’s back. “You ok?”
Bucky stared up at his friend. “Is this a dream?”
Steve smiles and shakes his head. “It must feel like one but I promise you it’s not. Now get in there and spend time with your wife and newborn son.” Steve pats his back one more time. “I’m sure the kids will be down bright and early.”
“Thanks.”
Bucky walks in and watches you with the baby some more. You look up at him and smile.
“Hey.” You mumble.
“How are you feeling?”
“I’m exhausted. But I’m so happy too.”
“Thank you.”
You furrow your brows. “For what?”
Bucky settles down beside you on the bed. One arm around you and the other cradling Peanut. “For everything. For loving me even when I didn’t deserve it. For loving Henry and Charlotte the way you do. For giving me this little guy. There is no one else in the world I’d want to experience all of this with other than you. I love you for all that you’ve given me and for everything we have and will experience together.”
“That’s really nice.” You say before bursting into tears. “I love you too.”
Bucky lets out a teary chuckle before kissing your temple.
“Take off your shirt.”
“What?”
“Take off your shirt so you can do skin to skin with Peanut.” You inform Bucky as you undo the swaddle Peanut is wrapped in. “It’s important that you two bond.”
Bucky does as you ask and takes off his shirt. When you have Peanut in just his diaper you hand him to Bucky and place a blanket over him.
“Hi buddy.” Bucky says softly as he sits next to your bed. “I’m your old man.”
You relax into the bed. Exhausted doesn’t begin to explain how you feel. But you watch as your husband holds your baby. He’s gentle with his touch, sweet with his words. It didn’t take long for you to fall asleep. After all you had just given birth, you deserved all the rest you could get.
“Let’s see, what should we talk about?” Bucky murmurs softly. “First of all I love you very much. I’ll do anything and everything I can to keep you and your mama and siblings safe. All you have to do is be happy and healthy ok? Can you do that for me?”
Peanut lets out a small sound.
“I’ll take that as a yes.” Bucky smiles and kisses Peanut’s temple.
****
“I wanna see Peanut.” Lottie announces as she runs into the waiting room.
Henry followed with as much excitement. Eddie walked in last. The kids greeted Steve, Nat and Sam who had come back down to the medbay with some extra things for you and Bucky.
“Good morning.” Bucky says as he walks in.
“Daddy!”
Henry and Lottie launch themselves into Bucky’s open arms.
“Happy birthday daddy.”
“Yeah, happy biwthday. I mades you a pwesent.” Lottie holds up a folded piece of paper.
“Thank you, Doll.”
Lottie drew a picture of the family. Henry holding alpine in one arm and her hand with the other. Lottie holding Bucky’s hand while you stood beside him holding Peanut. There were flowers and hearts and a scribbled happy birthday on it.
“It’s perfect, I love it.”
“Can we see Peanut now?”
“Of course bubs. C’mon let’s go see your mom and your baby brother.”
****
Henry opens the door and pokes his head in. You’re sitting up in bed, showered and slightly rested.
“Mama?”
“My sweet boy.” You breathed out excitedly. “Come in.”
“Mama! I wanna see Peanut.” Lottie rushes in with her usual excitement.
Henry makes his way to your side. He smiles as he gets closer to you. “Hi mama.” Henry says softly as he gets on the bed and hugs you. “Are you ok now?”
“I am, sweetie.”
“Mama?” Lottie asks from the foot of the bed.
“Yes sweet angel?”
“Is your ‘gina ok?”
Your laugh bubbles up slowly while Bucky looks at Lottie with wide eyes. Then he laughs before taking Lottie and sitting her on the bed. You explained to her how babies are born because she kept asking. Using the proper terms for everything was very important. You just didn’t expect her to flat out ask anything like that. But you reassure her that your ‘gina is in fact ok.
“C’mon, you two have to wash your hands first. Then you can sit and hold Peanut.” Bucky says before helping the kids.
Lottie is first. She sits on the bed tucked into your side. Bucky places Peanut in her arms.
“Oh mama good jobs. Peanut is so cute.”
Your eyes are full of tears as Lottie kisses her baby brother’s head gently. She holds him for a while asking all kinds of questions about the newest addition.
Then it was Henry’s turn to hold his baby brother. He sat in the chair quietly as Bucky walked around the bed and placed the baby in his arms.
“Make sure you support his head like this.” Bucky shows Henry what he means.
“I know how to hold a baby, daddy.”
Bucky just steps back and watches in awe as his oldest son holds the youngest. Bucky turns back to look at you, beaming. Before either of you realize it Henry is sobbing as he holds on to Peanut.
“Bubs, what's wrong?” Bucky takes a knee in front of Henry to try and find out what the issue is.
“He looks just like Baby.” Henry says through broken sobs.
You cry at the revelation and so did Bucky.
“No one’s gonna take him away right, daddy?”
“I’ll never let that happen. I’ll keep you all safe, bubs.” Bucky pressed a kiss to Henry’s forehead.
“Come here sweet boy.”
Bucky took Peanut and Henry moved to sit beside you then asked for his baby brother back. You looped an arm around Henry and kissed the top of his head. The five of you sat together. You and Bucky just kept stealing glances at each other as Henry and Lottie fussed over the baby.
“What’s his name?” Henry asked after a while. Finally letting someone hold Peanut but only because he was hungry.
“We haven’t decided yet.” You replied.
“Maybe you can help us.”
“Hhm.” Lottie taps her chin as she thinks. “Maybe Tommy.”
“Absolutely not.” Bucky shakes his head in horror.
You throw your head back laughing. Henry throws out a small ‘nope’ and Lottie pouts. The four of you think of a few names but none of them really feel right. Henry looks down at his baby brother again. The black, full head of hair, the chubby cheeks and little nose. His eyes light up.
“What about James? Like you daddy.” Henry smiles up at the two of you.
“Eddie wike gwandpa!” Lottie adds excitedly.
“We can’t use my name.”
“Why not daddy?” Henry asks.
“I mean I could’ve named you James but I didn’t. I don’t want you to feel like I didn’t want you to have my name.”
“But I like my name and I do have your last name. Besides it’s like mama says, Peanut looks like a James.”
“James Edward Barnes. What do you think, Sugar?”
“Edward? You want to name him after my dad?”
“He’s been supporting us through it all. I’d love it if Peanut had your father’s name.”
You smile at Bucky before looking down at Peanut. “He does look like a James. My little Jamie.”
“Oh I wikes Jamie, mama. Jamie is so cute.”
“I like it too.”
“Then I guess we have a name.”
****
Eddie was the first one to get to meet Jamie. He had flowers and a stuffed t-Rex in one hand and a bag of food in another. As soon as he walked in the room he went straight to you. He kissed your forehead and fussed over you.
“Want to meet your grandson?” Bucky asked as he pushed the bassinet Jamie was in closer.
Henry and Lottie were excited to see their grandfather’s reaction to Jamie’s full name.
“He’s amazing.” Eddie can’t help but grin. “Did you decide on a name?”
“We did. The kids chose it actually.”
“Really?” Eddie looks over and winks at them. “That’s a really important job. What’s his name?”
Lottie and Henry both giggle. Eddie turns back to the bassinet. Above Peanut’s head is a little sign with his full name written out.
“James Edward Bar-“ Eddie cuts himself off and does a double take between you and Bucky and the name. “You gave him my name?”
“We wanted to do something special.” You explain.
“It’s the least we could do after everything you’ve done for us.” Bucky adds.
Eddie wipes the tears away before he pulls Bucky in for a hug. Then he turns to give you another kiss on the forehead. The kids get their own hugs before Eddie finally picks up the baby. He coos and talks to Peanut about all the things he’s going to teach him.
*****
Wanda and Nat came in later in the afternoon. They were the first from the team to meet Peanut. Apparently they beat Sam and Steve in order to be the first of the team to get to see the baby. A sparring session turned into a bet and the boys lost.
“Look at how chubby his cheeks are. And his hair.” Wanda cooed. “I can’t believe I’m jealous of a newborn’s hair.”
You laugh. As all the other Barnes kids, Jamie had thick raven hair. You were sure he’d look just like Bucky.
“He’s adorable.” Nat complimented. She looked over Wanda’s shoulder and smiled.
“How did the kids react when they saw him?”
You take a deep breath and tell them everything. It gets you teary eyed all over again and you blame the hormones for it. Nat and Wanda both smile and shed a tear. After a few minutes they leave. It gives a chance for Steve and Sam to come in.
“Well look at this handsome guy.” Sam doesn’t waste any time picking up Jamie from the bassinet. “When you’re older you’re going to get arrested because you’ll be killing all the ladies.”
You roll your eyes as Steve moves closer. He gives you flowers and balloons before accepting your hug.
“I still can’t believe it.” Steve says as he sits down beside you on the bed. “Just a few years back we were talking about this not being a possibility.”
“I know.” You rest your head against his shoulder.
“I’m really proud of you. I’m proud of both of you.”
“Thanks Steve.” You smile as you watch Bucky and Sam bicker over proper support technique for the baby’s head. “I request that my best friend handle this before it gets out of hand”
“They’re arguing over your baby.”
“Who I just gave birth to. I’m exhausted, I need Captain America level support here.”
Steve rolls his eyes but gets up to try and break up the argument. It goes as well as you might have expected. The three of them end up going back and forth about everything that has to do with Peanut. They don’t stop until Peanut begins to cry.
“May I have my child back so that I can feed him?” You hold your hands out.
Steve reluctantly gives him back to you. Bucky then makes both of them leave so that you can feed Peanut in peace.
After Peanut had his dinner Bucky set up the food Sophia and Joshua had brought when they came to see the baby. It had been a sweet and short visit with a promise to visit when you were settled at home. Bucky had barely lasted through a few bites before you insisted he get some sleep. He practically passed out the moment his head touched the pillow.
You were still holding Jamie in your arms. His head moved slightly at the sound of your voice as you told him how much you loved him. The door creaks as it opens.
“Hey, Duckie.” You smile.
“I didn’t mean to intrude.” She whispers back when she sees Bucky sleeping.
“It’s fine, come in.”
She steps into the room, staying by the door. You wave her over and she sits at the chair beside you. Duckie gives you a small smile before taking a good look at Jamie.
“He’s adorable.” She keeps her voice low.
“Thank you.”
“How are you feeling?”
“I’m good. Very tired but so happy.” You smile at her.
“That’s good.” Duckie nods.
“Would you like to hold him?”
“Absolutely not.” She answers so fast it startles you a little. “Sorry. I’ve just never held a baby before.”
“It’s ok.”
The two of you sit quietly for just a minute. “Do you think the baby will have abilities too?”
You stare at her as her question really sinks in. “I hadn’t really thought of that. It makes sense that he has some sort of ability. Guess we’ll have to wait and see.”
“I think if anyone can handle a baby with abilities it’s you.”
“Remind me of that if weird shit happens when Jamie starts to cry.”
Duckie chuckles but nods. She looks down at her watch. “It’s late and I know you need all the sleep you can get. Congratulations on the baby and I’m glad you’re doing well.”
“Thanks for stopping by. It means a lot.”
You sat in the wheelchair while Jenna pushed you through the halls of the medbay. In front of you Bucky carried Jamie in his car seat and the bags you’d packed. Beside him was Henry, Lottie, Steve and Eddie all carrying something from gifts to flowers. When you finally make it outside you’re quick to get out of the wheelchair and head straight to the car. You sit in the back next to Peanut even though the so-called drive home is less than a mile away.
“Ready to go?” Bucky looks at you through the rearview mirror.
“We are.”
“Ok. Let’s go home.” Bucky says as he shifts the car into drive.
“Is something wrong with the car?”
“The car is fine. Why?”
“We’re barely moving.” You say as you look out of the window.
“We’re moving fast enough.”
“Daddy wet’s go.” Lottie says from her own seat.
“We are going.” Bucky replies as he grips the steering wheel tighter.
There’s a knock on Bucky’s window. “Everything alright son? The car’s barely moving.” Your dad checked with Bucky.
“Everything is great Ed.”
Eddie just chuckles. “Been there before myself. Trust me that it will get easier. But nothing will happen if you go a bit faster.”
“Of course not. I know that.” Bucky shrugs, trying to play off how terrified he is of driving faster.
“Ok son, see you later. And step on it.”
Bucky nods and rolls up the window. He goes just slightly faster but not fast enough.
“Daddy I habes to potty.” Lottie whines as she pouts and squirms in her seat.
“Ok, doll.”
That seems to make Bucky snap out of whatever it was he was going through. He cruised through the compound parking lot and towards the small path that led to the house. You held back your giggle as Bucky hopped out of the driver's seat and opened the door for Lottie.
“Baby, are you ok?” You asked once Bucky moved around to your side of the car. “You look a little pale.”
“That’s the scariest thing I’ve ever had to do.”
“Driving us?”
“My whole world is in this car. I have to be careful.”
You smile and grab him by the front of his shirt to pull him down. Before Bucky can even ask what you’re doing you kiss him.
“I love you so much.” You murmur against his lips before kissing him again. “Now help me out. I can’t wait to finally be back at home.”
The house is spotless. Cleaned top to bottom. More flowers sit on the island in the kitchen along with a basket full of self care products just for you along with a note. Wanda, Nat, Clint, Steve, Sam, Joshua and Sophia had all taken the time out to not only clean but to make some meals for the whole family. Just something less for you to have to worry about as you adjusted to life with Jamie. It made you cry.
“Alpine you better put your claws away or you’ll be in trouble.” Bucky says firmly as you head into the living room.
Alpine was sniffing around Jamie’s car seat. She had reached up with her paw, claws out, ready to tap Jamie’s head. Immediately her claws retract and she meows while taking a turn around the baby.
“That’s better. You can’t claw at the baby, Al.”
She meows again before turning her attention to you. Alpine moves around your feet, rubbing her head and face against your legs. You pick her up and kiss the top of her head.
“I missed you too, pretty girl.”
“Can I hold Peanut now?” Henry asked as he sat on the couch.
“No, I wanna holds him.” Lottie counters as she scrambles onto the couch, arms stretched out and waiting.
Bucky pulls Jamie out of his car seat and pulls him against his chest. “How about you take turns? Henry, do you want to go first?”
“Baby can go first. I’ll sit right next to her.”
“Thanks bubba. Gibes me Peanut, pwease.”
Bucky chuckles but sets a swaddled Jamie down in Lottie’s open arms. He then sits on Lottie’s other side and brings you down to sit on his lap. Henry is sitting beside his siblings cooing at Jamie and making Lottie laugh.
Bucky gets your attention by kissing your shoulder. You turn to look at him, the two of you smiling and enjoying the moment you’d fought so hard to get to. Your family, happy and healthy. Kids that would change the world, you just knew it. A husband that you loved unconditionally and returned the same affection. This was all you ever wanted. It was more than you thought you’d ever get.
Laughter fills the room as Lottie makes a disgusted face when she realizes Peanut’s diaper had to be changed. She demands that her baby brother is picked up and pulled away from her. You do so happily, taking Peanut in order to change his diaper. In the background you hear Bucky playing with the kids. You smile at the sound.
In this moment life was perfect.
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