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Super Bomberman R Online

Not to be confused with the act of playing Super Bomberman R online, this game was Konami and HexaDrive’s first foray in the extremely popular battle royale genre. Other beloved mascots like Mario and Pac-Man tried their hand at more “retro” takes on the genre, so it’s only natural that Bomberman was eventually chosen for the same idea. And sure enough, everyone’s favorite explosion-causing hero was an absolutely perfect fit for the genre. Bomberman established its reputation on years of quality multiplayer modes and chaotic shenanigans, so taking that to its ideological extreme of 64 players in one battle makes even Hi-Ten Bomberman look like child’s play! Initially, Super Bomberman R Online was exclusive to Google’s now-defunct Stadia platform, but after a bit less than nine months of exclusivity, it was ported to the standard array of modern platforms with everything intact except the ability to quickly join a chosen streamer’s game by using the Crowd Play feature. As of December 1st, 2022, the game has been shut down and is no longer playable, but Super Bomberman R2 includes Battle 64 as a playable mode, serving as this game’s replacement.

Super Bomberman R Online (Nintendo Switch)

Developed/Published by: Hexadrive / Konami Released: 3/03/2017 Completed: 1/12/2022 Completion: Well, I never managed to win a match, but top 20 is good, right? Trophies / Achievements: n/a

As this is being officially shut down in two days, I thought I might as well make a record of it; thought I suppose it doesn’t entirely get to be one of those “lost” games because it is, basically, just an attempt at a battle royale version of a game that you can still get (Super Bomberman R).

And, to be honest, what I have to say about this might only annoy you, because it does come from the perspective of someone who is unbelievably crap at Bomberman. Now, don’t get me wrong. I’ve loved playing the classics–I’ve even got some games of ten-player Saturn Bomberman under my belt–but as much as I get how to play it, I am… not good at it. I’m like Mr. blow-yourself-up-constantly. I’m the kind of player who literally drops one bomb and then walks back into the explosion. Or who drops a bomb at the wrong moment and traps himself between a wall and it. Or who drops loads of bombs and forgets how far their explosions are going to reach.

To be honest, there’s just so much to track in a game of Bomberman, and that chaos is part of the fun–even if you’re a cautious yet inattentive player like me. I’m sure you can get extremely good at Bomberman, able to track what you’ve dropped and watch what your opponents are dropping and be aware of their explosion length, and that, but there’s so much on screen, all the time, that I’m pretty sure it’s always going to be beyond me. Thank goodness it isn’t, like, how we sort out wars or something, because if I was ever conscripted I’d be in trouble [Unlike actual war, where you’d be fine?--Ed.]

So, while you can take my take on any Bomberman with a grain of salt, then, I do have to say… bloody hell this was underwhelming. Underwhelming to the point where I understand why it failed so unbelievably rapidly. You’d think a battle royale bomberman would be a slam dunk, but there’s games that work as a battle royale (Tetris) games that are… fine (Super Mario Bros.) and then there’s this, which just seems like sort of a botch.

Maybe they considered a huge 64 person field and couldn’t get it to run, but this instead goes for a system where there are 16 different screens with four bombermen on each, and after a set period of time you have to move into another screen or auto-lose. Everyone gets a couple of lives (lucky at this point, as you’d be waiting between matches far longer than you’d be playing them otherwise) and that’s it, basically.

Now, I was able to get quite a few games of this going–I guess the Switch playerbase held up ok enough that I was getting games after a few minutes wait or so–but it just… it just doesn’t feel like anything. You play a match of Bomberman against some randos, then you switch to another screen and do it again. Because it’s a battle royale, you’re not exactly incentivised to anything other than survival, so you might as well just stand in your corner until you have to move–and if you do, you’ll (I’ll) probably just end up killing yourself (myself).

It’s not helped by a baffling range of characters to play that I never actually understood. As much as Konami is the worst steward of their history, I love that this game features bombermen based on the Vic Viper, Solid Snake and that, but when you’re choosing between them it’s like… wait, why would I choose this guy, who can’t level up his explosion distance past a certain point? Or… why wouldn’t I just pick this character, who has much higher starting stats? etc.

(Being generous, there’s probably some super high-level play reasons–but the game doesn’t explain any of it.)

There were a ton of monetisation things in this (a battle pass and the like) but with the actual “monetisation” stripped out the levelling up is miserably slow and random (quite incredible to get a challenge to win a battle royale as my second challenge, which was never happening) and, of course, totally worthless as of two days from now (I doubt you’ll even be able to boot it up and see what you’ve unlocked.)

To be honest, the game doesn’t even feel that good to play. Maybe I’m biased, but the games haven’t ever felt right in 3D–less precise–and you really feel that here.

This is “this ain’t it, chief” personified. Too bad, so sad.

Will I ever play it again? I can’t.

Final Thought: What’s interesting, of course, is that Konami have since released Amazing Bomberman on Apple Arcade to deafening silence (on googling, I could literally find only one review, in Italian. I suppose critic reviews are not the world's greatest way to tell how popular something is, but man. Konami really has frittered away it’s cultural cache, huh.)

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Super Bomberman R Online - Stadia - 2020 Developer: HexaDrive / ヘキサドライブ Publisher: Konami / コナミ

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