pairings: kaneki ken x reader ፥ jūzō suzuya x reader ፥ hideyoshi nagachika x reader ፥ ayato kirishima x reader ፥ renji yomo x reader
tags: romantic relationship headcanons, each character separate, gender neutral reader, no pronouns or agab mentioned, sfw post
warnings: canon events/violence mentioned, not proof read
request: Hey there? Can you do relationship head canons for ayato, renji, juuzo, hide and kaneki? (request found here.)
a/n: happy to do so! general relationships are very fun to write. however, I will let you know I do not write for arima which is why he’s not included.
// kaneki ken⌇˚.༄
⮑ Out of everyone on this list, being in a relationship with Kaneki is one of the sweetest and healthiest. Besides the whole he’s a one eyed ghoul, and everything that took place during the works. Honestly Kaneki just as himself, pretty chill guy.
⮑ He is open to being with a human and a ghoul, because he’s been both he’s very open minded to the idea. He may be more hesitant to involve a human after what happened to Kimi and Hide, but he would be willing to try.
⮑ His main love languages are quality time, physical touch, and words of affirmation. Receiving would probably be quality time, gift giving and words of affirmation. He needs his reassurance, my boy is traumatized and then some. Tbh… it works that way with everyone on this list lol.
⮑ Dates with him involve coffee dates (duh), book store dates, accompanying each other to author signings, home movie dates, and stargazing.
⮑ Hes a wonderful boyfriend, he always keeps you in mind, does his best to make you happy and comfortable and never asks for anything in return. He remembers every little thing you like, how to make you smile when you’re sad. Hes very observant. And he worships the ground you walk on low key.
// hideyoshi nagachika⌇˚.༄
⮑ If anyone on this list can tip how sweet of a boyfriend Kaneki can be, it’s Hide. He’s #1 easily. You see the lengths he’s willing to go for Kaneki. And it would be no different than for you.
⮑ Honestly, getting into a relationship pre and post him being well… eaten, is rightfully very different. Before, he’s very outgoing and would happily ask you out. It’s a cute school romance type of thing yk? But afterwards, he’s very hesitant. His face is well… and he’s in deep with ghouls. If you were a ghoul it would be a lot easier, but if you were human he’d be more hesitant. He doesn’t want you to go through what he has, despite him not having regrets saving Kaneki.
⮑ Okay that got sad… my poor baby. But it is true. If you manage to be with him after, he must really trust you. And he must really love you.
⮑ His main love languages are quality time, gift giving, and acts of service. Receiving would probably be gift giving as well, quality time, and physical touch. He may not intricate touch, but he loves receiving it. It may do more for him than words ever could tbh.
⮑ Dates with hide include outdoor activities (your choice), playing games together, watching movies, and spending time together at each others places.
⮑ Hide may seem the type to fuck around, but once he makes his mind about someone, they’re all he thinks about. There could be no one else. He loves you as you are, flaws and all. You’re perfect in his eyes. And he hopes you never leave him. He’d give you the world if he could.
// jūzō suzuya⌇˚.༄
⮑ Jūzō has never been in a relationship before and I don’t think he’s fully aware how to navigate one. He didn’t grow up with any healthy depictions of romance, he really only has instinct to go off of. Though I do trust he was introduced to media when he joined the ccg, which helped.
⮑ It’s quite interesting to say, whether or not he’d date a ghoul truly does depend on when you met him. He doesn’t inherently hate ghouls or look down on them the same way others in the ccg do. But ofc, he does see them in a negative light and—kills them. But I do think it’s possible for him to be with both.
⮑ physical touch!! Im sorry, I got a bit excited. But physical touch is something he both gives and needs, he needs positive touch, he needs to be held, he needs to be reminded he’s safe and you won’t leave him. Besides that, his main love languages is gift giving and acts of service. Reviving would be quality time and gift giving. Receiving things from you reminds him of what home truly is.
⮑ Dates with him are up on the ccg roof (or any roof), watching the stars and eating together, playing in the rain, and wandering the city at night.
⮑ Jūzō will make a lot of mistakes, but he is quick to learn and make up for them. He can be clingy and childish at times, but he means well. He’s still learning to be an adult, let alone a living being worthy of love. He adores you so much, his eyes sparkle when even your name is mentioned.
// ayato kirishima⌇˚.༄
⮑ A relationship with Ayato requires a lot of patients and self confidence. You’ll need to place boundaries and put your foot down with him with how reckless he can be. Despite that, he is quite loving. Oh, and being with him is quite dangerous.
⮑ If you’re not a ghoul, good luck getting this man’s attention. Don’t get me wrong, it is possible to date him if you’re a human, but it’s a very slim chance, especially if we’re talking before :re. He has many reasons, ranging from how dangerous it would be, to his genuine distain towards humans due to his traumas. After :re you got a better chance tho.
⮑ His love languages are acts of service and quality time. Receiving would probably be quality time, words of affirmation, and as much as he refuses to admit it, physical touch. He’s so touch deprived… since his parents died, all he knows is violence.
⮑ After :re, he really works on himself, to be a good boyfriend, a good person. He’s overall a lot happier. He has his family back, which naturally includes you. The happier he is, the easier your relationship will be. He loves you more than life itself, he’d give his life for you. He finally understands what love can do to a person.
// renji yomo⌇˚.༄
⮑ Oh Renji, he’s quite the interesting one. He’s a gentleman with you, never once has he treated you otherwise, even when he was in his violent days. He did have some morals after all.
⮑ He is able to fall for both ghoul and human, but he’s less likely to fall for a human. Humans are too fragile and dangerous to trust. They can easily be used against him. But the further into the story we go, the more likely he is the maybe give it a try. He would really have to know you either way before he’s willing to be in a relationship with you.
⮑ His love languages are acts of service, gift giving, and quality time. Receiving would be quality time, and acts of service. He isn’t really one for words of affirmation, and he can survive without touch. Though if you told him you wanted it, he’d give it.
⮑ Renjis is shorter than the others my bad. I don’t have much to say for him other than what I’ve said in previous works for him. Dating him is honestly easy, he communicates well and works through issues. He won’t run and won’t let you run either. And despite not wanting to admit it, he loves you very much. It would kill him to lose you.
You think you're just like every other 18-year-old girl: just starting college, living alone, and working at a cute cafe, except you aren't because you're a ghoul. Trying your best to blend into a world that isn't your own, and then you meet him. Hide. He's unlike anyone you've ever met, and you slowly fall for him. But will it ever work between the two of you? He's human, and you're not.
This writing contains highly sensitive topics like violence, gore, mental illness, talk of suicide, death, smut, and other mature themes. If you click keep reading, you're agreeing to reading something that’s potentially triggering. Reader discretion is advised.
MUST BE 18+ TO READ THIS STORY
word count 10,268
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“…Maybe…
…I wouldn’t mind being betrayed by you.”
-Tokyo Ghoul Volume Five #043 Scar by Sui Ishida
TW: DEATH, GORE & SUICIDAL THOUGHTS
——————————
I finally came to a stop after what felt like hours of running, my body doubled over, and my lungs constricted as I tried to breathe. My chest was tight, and my heart felt like it was ripping in two. The tears that poured down my face blurred everything around me. Every breath I try to take is ragged and sharp. I clutch at my chest, and my eyebrows knit down. What’s happening to me? This feels worse than any panic attack I’ve ever had. I stumble forward into the darkness and fall onto the ground. It’s like my body is shutting down. I curl up into a ball and squeeze my knees into my chest. My tears soaking into my bare knees. I just had to run away in my Anteiku uniform.
As I lay on the cold ground, I could feel the shift in the air as clouds formed in the night sky. The soft glow of the moon and stars that illuminated the area around me was now gone, and my surroundings turned into a vast darkness. The night wrapped around me in a cold blanket. My body shook, but it wasn’t from the freezing air nipping at me. A crack broke out in the sky, followed by drops of frozen crystals that broke as they hit my skin. The wetness seeped into my skin and down to my bones. I couldn’t tell where the rain started and where my tears ended. My body didn’t move a muscle. I just stayed curled up on the ground, numb, and at some point, I drifted off.
My eyes slowly opened as the bright sun beat down on my skin. I blinked a few times and covered my eyes as my head throbbed. My eyes screwed shut and my eyebrows tied down together. As I tried to move, my body felt sore and stiff. Where am I? I glance around at my surroundings and find myself lying in front of an old, worn-down house. It seemed as though the Earth was trying to consume the poor building before me. I peeled myself off the ground and slowly walked toward the house. As I approach the front door, the corner of something shiny catches my eye. I couldn’t tell what it was because weeds and dirt covered the rest of it. I reach out to clear away the debris, and what was hiding underneath makes my heart stop.
My hand slaps over my mouth, and I take a step back. My (e/c) orbs shake as I read the surname engraved on the gold-shining plate. (L/n). There’s no way. In my moment of pure agony and distress, I found my way back to my childhood home. No matter how hard I tried to look for this place in the past, I could never remember where it was. So much time has passed that I've given up looking for the home where I lived with my parents. I settled with the thought that I’d never be able to collect precious items from my childhood, or grab any photos to remember what my parents looked like. I was so little when everything happened that I didn’t think about the importance of grabbing things after leaving the carnage of my parents’ deaths.
I take a hesitant step forward, my hand shaking as I reach out to grab the door handle. I turn the knob and the door creaks open. The inside doesn’t look any better from the outside. It’s like I was stepping into an apocalyptic universe. Slowly, I walk inside the house, my eyes wandering around every inch. A fuzzy image of what the inside used to look like forms in my mind, and a weary smile forms on my face. My fingers run along the wall as I walk further inside. My feet come to a halt as I make my way into the living room.
The faint smell of iron burns my nostrils, and I have to choke down the vile taste that threatens to push up my throat. My head pounds again, and I groan out in pain. I wobble slightly and lean into the wall to brace myself. My eyes screw shut, and I clench my teeth. As the pain starts to subside, I open my eyes, and the first thing I see is what looks like deep rust stains on the floorboards. I drop to my knees and stare at the dark stains below me. My fingers lightly brush the rust color below me. Mom. Dad. Tears start to stream down my face again. I bend over and rest my forehead against the ground. This rust color stain is their blood. I can still smell the faint scent that distinguishes each of them.
*
“Sweetie bug,” My father said as he kneeled to my level. His large hands grabbed my small face. I looked up into his (e/c) eyes, which matched my own. I tilted my head to the side, taking in his panicked expression. I had never seen my father look so scared before.
“Do you remember where you’re supposed to hide if something bad happens?” My father’s voice shakes as he speaks.
I have no idea what’s happening, but I can tell it’s serious from his actions. My emotions take over my small body, and tears start to trickle down my soft, plump cheeks. “Daddy, what’s going on?” My small hands grip onto my father’s shirt. I glance up to see my mother looking out the window, but my father pulls my eyes back to his.
“(Y/n), sweetie, I need you to answer Daddy.” My father grips my face more urgently.
I nodded my head quickly and responded, “I remember.”
My father smiles, pulls my head to his lips, and gently kisses me. “Good. I need you to go there and stay there until Mommy or I get you. If you don’t hear from us, please stay there for two days. Do you understand?”
“I- I understand,” I say softly. I stare at my father for a moment before throwing myself into his arms and embracing him in a tight hug. His large arms wrap around me, and he pets my head softly before pulling away and looking at me. My father caresses my cheek, “I love you, (Y/n).”
“I love you, too, Daddy.” I smile sweetly at my father and then place a sloppy kiss on his cheek.
“Honey, they’re almost here.” My mother turns to look at my father, and he nods. He stands up, embraces my mother, and kisses her before letting go. My father then places himself near the front door, and my mother walks toward me. She swoops me in her arms and pushes my hair behind my ear.
“Okay, baby, it’s time for you to hide.” My mother carries me into the kitchen. “Remember to stay quiet, and don’t come out no matter what you hear.” My mother grabs my face and leans in to place a kiss on my cheek. “I love you very much, my sweet girl.” My mom sets me down on the ground. “Please be strong for Daddy and Mommy.”
I grip my mother’s hand, not wanting to let go, but she prys her hand from mine. “Mommy,” I cry out her name, “Please hide with me.” I grab her hand again and drag her over to where I’m supposed to go. She just shakes her head as a single tear rolls down her cheek.
“I’m sorry, baby, but there’s no room for Mommy.” My mother’s head snaps back as she senses something near. She quickly grabs me and pulls open the oven in our kitchen. Then she lifts the bottom of the oven and shoves me into a small, hidden room that my father had created for me.
“Remember what we told you.” It was the last thing my mother said before closing the door on me. I cried out to her and went to bang against the door when a loud crash rang through the walls where I was hiding. I quickly crawled away from the hidden door and into a corner of the little room. My mother was right; this room was barely big enough for me to fit in. I pulled my knees to my chest and buried my head into my knees. Strange voices shouted above me, but I couldn’t make out any of their words.
Screams and crashes pierced through my ears, and I quickly covered them with my hands. My body rocked back and forth as I tried to stay quiet and drown out the noises above me. It felt like this moment lasted for an eternity. After a few hours, the noises finally subsided. I removed my hands from my ears and stared up at the hidden door, tears staining my face, as I waited for my parents to open the door and tell me everything was okay. But that never happened. I stayed inside the room for about two days, as my dad had told me to. Well, it wasn’t exactly two days, but it was enough.
I pushed the door open and slowly pushed down the oven door. I crawled out of my hiding spot and took in the scene around me. Everything was thrashed. I stood on wobbly legs and quietly walked out of the kitchen. “Mommy?” I call out for my mother. No answer. “Daddy?” I then tried for my father, and again, no answer. I could smell the scent of my parents' blood, but my young brain couldn’t comprehend what that meant. As I stepped forward, my foot slipped on something slick and I fell backwards. My back crashed into the ground, and I landed in a puddle of something thick. I lay on the ground, not moving, as the gears in my mind worked hard to process everything around me.
I grabbed a fistful of the liquid below me and brought it to my chest. My bottom lip shook, and I choked on dry sobs. I was crying, but no tears fell down my face. My parents are dead, and the doves took their bodies.
*
I was lying down on the ground, on top of my parents' dried blood, the same way I did when I was younger. That memory is burned into my mind and is the fuel for most of my nightmares. I bite my bottom lip and grip my chest. One thing I didn’t realize is that I never told my mother that I loved her back. My arm falls to my side, and I spread my hand on the ground below me.
“I love you, too, Mom,” I say softly.
I stay on the ground for a while before I pull myself up. I slowly move around the house, and if it weren’t for the greenery that’s been overgrowing everything, the house would look the same as when I left. Things were thrashed and broken, and there were holes in the walls. My foot kicks against something on the ground, and I look down to see a worn teddy bear. I bend down to pick it up and brush the dirt off it. My heart tightens as quick flashes of forgotten memories flick through my mind. I used to carry this damn bear around with me everywhere until I was about four years old, and I ‘grew’ out of it, but I still slept with it every night. I don’t remember bringing it out of my room that day, so how did it end up out here?
I held the bear close to my chest. The tip of the bear’s nose brushed against the necklace Hide gave me. I wore this necklace daily, taking it off only when I slept or showered. Hide. He’s probably sick to his stomach thinking about the fact that he was in a relationship with a ghoul this whole time. I wonder if he’ll meet with Amon, the dove who interviewed me, and tell him what he learned about me. It wouldn’t be hard for them to track me down. The doves know my name and identity, so I can no longer show my face. I’ll have to stay in hiding. I never should’ve been this stupid to fall for a human anyway. Now I can’t risk seeing my friends or my self-made family unless I want to put them in danger.
I enter the kitchen and stare at the oven across the room. That hideout—my father was so wise to design something like that—I hate it with every fiber in my body. I wanted to walk closer to it and look inside, but I couldn’t move my body. I just stood at the kitchen entrance, staring at it from afar. I shake my head and turn back around into the living room. If I remember correctly, my mom kept a photo book in one of the cabinets. I start rummaging through things in the living room. I open a door attached to the entertainment center, and see a few things inside. There’s a binder with DVDs of all the movies we owned. I flip through the pages and smile as I read all the titles. I close it up and grab another binder, and when I open it up, my breath catches in my throat.
Photo after photo of my parents and me were placed neatly in their sleeves. My smile falters as I look at all the pictures before me. The image of my parents was starting to fade from my head, but now it’s like they've been brought back to life. A particular photo of the three of us warmed my heart. It was a more recent one, closer to the time when my parents were killed, with me between my mom and dad, and we all had bright smiles on our faces. I slip the photo from the sleeve and softly place a kiss on my mom and dad. I hold the photo with the bear and walk down the hallway. I move past my old bedroom and down to my parents’ room.
The door was already cracked open, so I pushed it the rest of the way and walked inside. It’s strange how, when you’re younger, things used to seem so large back then. I used to think my parents had a huge room, and I would often wish for a room as big as theirs. But now that I’m standing back inside it, it’s not bigger than my room in Anteiku, which isn’t that big. I moved to sit on the bed and set the photo and stuffed bear beside me. Their bed was my safe place when I was younger. Climbing into bed with my parents late at night was the best feeling ever, and I always felt so safe whenever I was with them. I knew they would always protect me, and they did, because I’m still alive and they’re dead.
I curl up on the bed and lay my head on one of the pillows. It smelled like mildew, but I didn’t care. I pulled the stuffed bear into my arms and moved the photo to lie before me so I could stare at it. My parents loved each other deeply, and they somehow had room to love me even more. That’s the main thing about them that stuck with me. I always wanted a love like theirs and thought maybe I had found it. I gently touched the H dangling from the necklace I was wearing. Tears prickle at the edge of my eyes, and I take a sharp breath. Even if Hide hates me or thinks of me as a monster now, I’m still grateful to have at least experienced a portion of the love my parents showed to each other.
——————————
Hide's POV
I spent last night trying to keep up with you as you ran away, but it was useless; my human legs were nothing compared to a ghoul's. But that didn’t stop me from looking for you. I spent the whole night trying to track you down, but I had no luck. After leaving multiple voicemails for you and sending numerous texts, I decided that maybe you just needed space, so I headed back to my apartment. I didn’t sleep at all, and every time my phone dinged, I would instantly pick it up to see if you had messaged me back. I wanted to be awake in case you showed up.
Now the sun is blazing through my window, and my eyes burn from the bright light and my lack of sleep. I groan and cover my eyes with my arm as I turn over in bed. You have to be fine, right? I’m sure it was just a big shock to realize you revealed yourself to me and lost your cool a bit. But that didn’t matter to me. I understand why you did it. I just hope you see my texts and listen to my voicemails, and notice that my feelings for you haven’t wavered in the face of this fact. Well, I knew pretty much from the beginning what you are, but you weren’t aware of that.
God, I run my hands along my face. If only you’d show up, I could explain everything to you in person. I’ll give you another day to yourself, but if I don’t hear anything, I’ll just have to go to you. My friendship with Kaneki is already on the fritz, and it kills me that he’s pushing away from me. I couldn’t handle it if you pushed away from me as well.
The day goes on in silence as I wait for you to contact me or knock on the door, but just like before, nothing happens. At some point, I drift off to sleep, my body exhausted from staying up all night and day, but the sound of a ding rips me out of my slumber. I quickly reached for my phone, hoping to see your name on the screen, but it was just Kaneki. My finger slides over the screen and opens his text.
My eyes furrowed as I read over the text messages on my screen. (Y/n) is late for work, and not in her room. I thought you would go home, but that wasn’t the case. My heart pounds in my chest, and an uneasy feeling floods me. Where are you? Are you okay? I hope you didn’t get hurt or, worse, captured by CCG investigators in your moment of panic. I jump off the couch and clutch my phone. My chest tightens, and it takes everything in me not to throw my phone across the room. I close my eyes and take a few deep breaths. I need to calm down. My mind can’t think logically if I’m too distressed, and if I can’t think logically, I won’t be able to find you.
I make my way outside and stop in front of the bus stop. The area where I ended my search last night was far away, and I didn’t want to waste more time walking there. Once the bus pulls up, I quickly find an empty seat. I pull up my phone and open the Maps app to better look at the area I’m heading to. I’m looking for places that would make sense for a ghoul to take shelter or hide, then jotting those places down in my notes. When the bus stops at my destination, I step out with a determined look on my face. I already created a makeshift map of all the places I found to make searching the area more efficient.
I spend the next couple of hours doing just that, and stopping every person I find to show them a photo of you. No one seems to have seen anyone similar to you, and I don’t see you in any of the areas I picked out. The sun was starting to set in the distance, and my heart grew heavy as another day passed by, where I didn't know anything about your whereabouts. My feet slowly trudge back to the bus stop to return home for the night. I’ll create another map of additional places to explore tomorrow. Knowing which direction you ran off in helps me plan the areas to look, and I have a rough idea of how far you made it. I'll expand my search zone if I don’t find you within the section I’ve created.
The next day passed without a word from you or any clue about your whereabouts. My head is spinning with so many possibilities about what's happened to you.
Fuck!
It’s been three days, and I find myself going to Anteiku. I swing open the door to the cafe, causing the eyes of everyone inside to turn toward me. I move toward the bar and flag Kaneki over to me.
“Where’s Yomo? I need to talk to him.” I said quickly.
Kaneki looks over my form with concern. I looked disheveled and like I haven’t slept for the past few nights, and that’s because I haven't. I’m going crazy worrying about you, and I've realized I need help. More specifically, I needed Yomo’s help.
“Um, I think he might be upstairs.” Kaneki speaks with uncertainty in his voice, “Hide, are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine.” I run my hand through my unruly blonde locks. “Can you get him? It’s important.”
My dark-haired friend nods his head and makes his way upstairs. I stand impatiently by the coffee bar, tapping my fingers against the wooden top. When the white-haired male emerges through the door, a deep glare settles in his features, and his eyes tell me that if he sees fit, he’ll attack me at any moment.
“Can we talk?” My golden eyes drift to Kaneki, who’s hovering near us. “Privately?”
Yomo leads us into a back room away from prying eyes and eavesdropping ears. The large male sits on the couch in the room, and I pace back and forth as I try to figure out how I will word what I want to say. I stop for a moment to make eye contact with Yomo. As I get ready to speak, my olive irises glaze over with a mix of emotions.
“Before I say anything, I need you to promise not to freak out until I’m done speaking.” My voice is surprisingly steady as I speak.
Yomo’s eyes narrow together as he thinks over my words, and then finally nods his head, “Fine, I won’t do anything until you’re done speaking.”
“I know that (Y/n) is a ghoul. I know that everyone who works here is a ghoul, and I also know about Kaneki.” There was no point in beating around the bush. Yomo’s eyes widen, and he looks like he wants to leap off the couch and kill me.
“A few days ago, (Y/n) and I were attacked, and that’s when she revealed to me that she was a ghoul. She fought back to protect me, but when everything ended, she freaked out and ran away.” I take a deep breath and continue.
“The thing is, I already knew she was a ghoul. I’ve known since the car accident. I didn’t want to scare her off by saying I already knew, and I thought it would be better if she told me when she was ready. The fact that she, or any of you guys, are ghouls doesn’t scare me. It never once changed how I felt about (Y/n). Now she’s run off, and I have no idea where she is. Please, I need your help.”
Yomo stares at me with intense eyes. His face is expressionless, and a few moments pass before he lets out a deep sigh.
“How can I trust that this isn’t a trap? Give me a reason why I shouldn’t kill you right now.” Yomo’s voice is deep, and his underlying emotion hints at his care for you.
“I love her,” my voice cracks as all the emotion I’ve been holding back finally pushes its way up my throat.
“I love (Y/n).”
——————————
That seemed to be all Yomo needed to hear as we’re currently making our way through the area I planned to search through today. The silver-haired male was impressed by all the work I put into my search for you, but the only thing that bothered Yomo was that I waited so long to come to him. He knew that something was wrong when you weren’t showing up at Anteiku and were ignoring his calls and text messages. Your father-like figure even went out and looked for you in all the places you normally go when you want to be alone, but there was no sight of you. But with both of us out looking, we can now cover twice as much ground, probably even more with Yomo’s ghoul abilities.
As the sun begins its journey down and the moon slowly takes its place, Yomo and I decide to take a brief break. We sat on a park bench, both of us looking over the map on my phone. I’m in Google Earth mode to see the streets and places around in hopes there’s something I missed, or a new place that catches either of our eyes. And with Yomo’s help, he lets me know of what places would be good to search as well, places a ghoul would go to seek refuge, and what places we should stay away from. Having someone who knows the ins and outs of the ghoul world is helpful.
My finger slides along the streets on my phone when Yomo grabs my wrist. “Go back.” His deep voice is demanding, and it sends a chill down my spine. I do as he says and go back to the last screen I was on. The older male takes my phone from my hand and holds it in front of his face.
“This,” Yomo’s voice trails off. He runs his hand over his face and rests his hand on his chin, and he stares at the screen.
“Does it look familiar?” Hope seeps through my voice as I speak, and I scoot closer to the silver-haired male to look at the screen with him.
“I think this is where she lived with her parents…” Yomo hesitantly says. “When I found (Y/n), she kept saying she was lost and that she needed to get back home. She told me her home address and asked me to help her. At first, I didn’t think it was my problem, but here was this little girl standing in front of me, covered in blood, and all I could think was that her parents probably think she’s dead. I took her back home, but once we entered the house, I quickly noticed that things weren’t right. We walked into the living room, and there was blood everywhere. That’s when (Y/n) started screaming and crying. I think she blocked out her parents' death, and when I brought her back home, it was like she suddenly remembered. So I decided then I would take care of her, and that I would never bring her back to that house.”
My heart ached with every word that Yomo spoke. To experience something so traumatizing as a young kid like that is unimaginable, but even through all the bad you’ve experienced, you still held yourself together. You could still find it in yourself to smile and laugh, and I couldn’t help but think how strong you are. Not everyone could do that.
“Do you think she’d be there?” My olive orbs look into Yomo’s.
“I can’t be certain this is the place, but I think we should at least check it out.”
We make our way to the street that Yomo had recognized, and we walk down the road looking at each house we pass. My heart feels heavy as we get closer to the end of the street, and none of the houses we have passed caught Yomo’s eye. I was getting ready to say we should call it for the night when my eyes landed on a house tucked in a far corner at the end of the street. It wasn’t fully in view, but from the small glimpse of it, I could see that it seemed to be rundown. Something about it sent a chill through my body, and this overwhelming sense of needing to go toward it flooded through me.
“Yomo,” I called the older male's name to get his attention. “What about that place?” I point toward the abandoned building.
Yomo’s eyes shift in the direction I’m pointing, and his eyes instantly widen. Without saying a word, the older male takes off toward the old house. It was like in the blink of an eye, and he made it to the front porch. I run after the silver-haired male, breathing deeply once I arrive next to him. Yomo’s eyes are glued to a plaque on the house, so I look to see what it says ‘(L/n).’
“This is it.” Yomo’s deep voice is low as he speaks, “I can smell her scent from inside.”
My eyes brighten up at the confirmation that you’re inside this house. I go to push through the front door of the house, but Yomo’s hands grip onto my shoulders, stopping me in place. His silver locks flopping against his face as he shakes his head at me.
“You stay out here. Right now, (Y/n) most likely feels like you’re a threat to her. If she sees you, then she’ll probably think CCG investigators aren’t far behind. Let me go in first, and I’ll talk to her. Then I’ll bring her to you.”
I chew on my bottom lip as I listen to the words that Yomo says. I know he’s right, but I want to see you right away. To see that you’re okay and to tell you that I don’t care about you being a ghoul. That I love you no matter what. I hesitantly nod my head and watch as the older male disappears into the house.
——————————
(Y/n)’s POV
It’s been three days since I found myself in front of my old house, and it’s been three days since I curled up in my parents' old bed. I haven’t moved a muscle. What’s the point in leaving this bed when my presence could be the downfall of everyone around me? I also don’t know if I can go out into a world where the man I was falling in love with hates me for what I am. I curl further into myself, gripping my ratty stuffed animal to my chest.
I thought about finding something I could use to leave a letter with, so that when the dreaded day comes and someone finds me, my family back at Anteiku could get some closure. But who am I kidding? This house used to belong to ghouls; no one is stepping foot inside. My body will rot here without anyone knowing, and I think it’s somewhat poetic to die in the place my parents died. Death is such a final choice to make, or come to terms with. There’s no point in trying to start over in another ward. Making new connections just to watch them die, or for the people you love to be driven into madness. It’s hard. It’s so fucking difficult to deal with. I can’t go through that pain anymore. This is just the best option, to lie here and rot.
I was so lost in my depressing thoughts that I didn’t hear the sound of footsteps approaching me or register the comforting scent wafting through my nose. The sound of a deep raspy voice cutting through my ears made my heart stop in my chest, and I quickly whipped my head around to see a large figure standing in the doorway. The figure of my guardian, Renji. My father. Great, I must be hallucinating things now. There’s no way he could've found me here. A deep sigh leaves my chest, and I curl back up into a ball.
“(Y/n),” Renji says my name softly as he approaches me. The silver-haired male sits down next to me and gently lays his hand on my head, and softly pets my hair.
My body stiffens under his touch, and I look into his grey irises.
“H-how did you find me?” I say softly.
Yomo continues to gently pet my head. I fight with myself over wanting to lean into his touch and wanting to pull away. So I don’t move.
“I know what happened,” Renji says softly as he speaks to me. It’s almost like he’s trying not to push me closer to the edge.
“Bub’s, there’s nothing to worry about-”
“Nothing to worry about?!” My voice comes out loud and frantic. I move away from Renji, and a quick look of hurt and worry flickers through his orbs.
“I have to worry about everything!” My voice breaks as I speak, and I can feel my eyes getting wet. “I ruined everything by letting my stupid feelings for a human get in the way. I didn’t just put myself in danger, but I put everyone in Anteiku in danger as well.” I throw myself back down onto the bed and turn my back to Renji.
“Just leave me here.”
“(Y/n), how do you think I know what happened?” The silver-haired man’s question caught me off guard.
I peek over my shoulder at the older male, my eyebrows knitted into a frown as I think over what he said. My mind didn’t even register what it meant when he said he knew what happened, but Renji always seems to know everything, so I’m not surprised he somehow found out.
“Hide came to me,” Renji says, sitting taller, and the look on his face morphs into a more serious one. If that’s even possible.
“What?” My head pounds in my skull, and I squeeze my eyes closed. Hide went to Renji? Why?
“That boy, he cares about you,” Renji points at me. “He cares about you so much that he risked his life to explain everything that happened so I could help him.”
I stare blankly at the man before me and blink a few times.
“I-I don’t understand.” I shake my head. “There’s no way he cares about me. Not anymore.”
“Bubs,” Renji reaches out and softly caresses my cheek. “Hide has been losing his mind these past few days looking for you. You know I wouldn’t be sitting here telling you this if it wasn’t true.”
He’s right, Renji would never lie to me about these things. If Hide had ulterior motives, then Renji would’ve noticed it right away, and the older male would’ve stopped Hide before anything could happen to me. This meeting would be very different if that were the case.
“Hide, d-doesn’t care that I’m a ghoul?” My voice breaks as I speak. The tears that were wetting my eyes began to leak down my cheeks.
“I don’t.” Another voice drifts through the room.
Speak of the devil and he shall appear. The blonde male walks through the door, and my breath catches in my throat. My heart flutters in my chest, and it hurts and feels like bliss at the same time. There was a point when I had some hope Hide would accept me as a ghoul, but deep down, I always doubted he would. When you spend your whole life hearing about your existence as a monster, and how humans are scared and disgusted by the creature you are, then it’s hard to wrap your mind around the thought of a human not caring. When I talked with Kimi, I felt like she was the only human in existence who could love a ghoul.
“Hide.” His name falls off my lips in a whisper, and before I know it, the blonde male is crashing into me.
Hide’s toned arms wrap around me and squeeze me in a tight hug. “God, (Y/n), I’ve been so worried about you.”
It takes me a moment to catch up with what’s going on. Hide’s here, embracing me, knowing fully well that I’m a ghoul, and he’s… worried about me.
I bury my face in Hide’s chest and wrap my arms around his torso. My tears flood down my face, and I cry in relief. My hands grip the back of Hide’s shirt, and I’m scared that if I let go, he’ll disappear. This moment feels so surreal, like a dream, and at any moment, I could wake up and none of this would have happened.
Hide pulls back and cups my face in his soft hands, his thumbs coming up to brush away my tears, and he leans forward to rest his forehead on mine.
“Hey, it’s okay.” Hide’s voice is so gentle as he speaks, “You being a ghoul doesn’t change a single feeling I have for you.” His olive eyes stare deeply into mine.
“It doesn’t change how I’ve fallen in love with you.”
I cry harder.
Not only does he accept me as a ghoul, but Hide LOVES ME!?!?!??! Yeah, I’m ugly crying now, and I have no shame. The most beautiful and vibrant man I’ve ever met just said he’s fallen in love with me. How could someone with my life deserve such love? It doesn’t feel real, and I’m doing my best to ignore the doubtful thoughts in my mind. I just want to bask in this feeling. To fully enjoy this moment.
Hide leans in closer toward me, our breaths mingling with one another, and he says, “I love you, (Y/n).”
“I-I can’t believe this is happening,” I whisper. “I love you too, Hide.”
The dirty-blonde male flashes a shining smile at me and holds me to his chest, stroking my hair. “Let’s go home.” Hide says softly.
——————————
Renji and Hide take me back to Antieku. They bring me into the building through the back door so that no one else sees me. I looked awful. My Anteiku uniform was torn, and Cain's blood stained the fabric. Then my skin was covered in dirt, dust, and smudges of blood as well. The rain washed away most of it, but there were still some spots where it lingered. I was only gone for three days, so thankfully, I wasn’t starved and being consumed by hunger, but I was dehydrated. My skin was dull, and dark circles surrounded my eyes. You would think I was missing for months with the way I looked.
Once I was brought into my room, Renji excused himself so I could get refreshed, but made sure to give me a long hug and a kiss on the head before leaving. Hide looked just as worn out as me, and I felt bad for putting him through so much trauma these past few days. I grabbed my phone from my pocket and plugged it into my charger. Then, I set my stuffed animal down on my bed, and the photo of my parents and me on the nightstand. I’ll have to buy a picture frame for it. There was one last thing I took from my childhood home, and it was a piece of the wooden floor where my parents' blood was mixed. Some people might find that weird, but I don’t have a grave site or an urn to visit my parents like others do. So I cut out a piece of the flooring before we left. I set the piece of wood on an empty spot on my bookshelf.
I turned around to look at Hide, and he was sitting on my bed, watching me closely. There was no way he was going to leave my side after I disappeared, and I don’t blame him. If our roles were reversed, I would be glued to Hide’s side, and it would take weeks for him to get rid of me.
“I’m going to shower now.” I say softly. The smell from my filthy clothes is finally making its way into my nostrils.
The dirty blonde male stands from my bed and follows me into the bathroom that’s connected to my room. I turn around to stare at the male and cock my head to the side. What is he doing?
“Let me help you.” Hide’s voice is deeper than normal as he speaks.
If he said these words before everything happened, my brain would have malfunctioned, and my face would have erupted into a volcano. But I know he was saying those words from a place of care and not from well, his hormones.
I nod my head softly, “Yeah, that’s okay.”
Hide moves to the shower and turns on the water, adjusting the temperature so that it’s warm enough. He then moves next to me and helps me remove my soiled uniform, tossing it into a pile in the corner. I stood in front of the blonde male, naked, but I never felt so comfortable around anyone before. Having Hide see this vulnerable side of me felt good. I never thought I could be naked in front of someone and not want to cover up, but with Hide, I know I’m safe. The dirty blonde male helps me into the shower and steps in behind me, clothed.
“Hide your clothes.” I look at the male, my eyebrows squinted down.
“It’s okay.” Hide's lips quirk up into a sweet smile.
He grabs my shampoo bottle and squirts the liquid into the palm of his hand, rubs the soap together in both hands, and then has me turn around. Hide works the shampoo into my roots, massaging my scalp, and after a few minutes, he rinses the suds from my hair. He then grabs my conditioner and runs the thicker solution into the mids and ends of my hair. Most people would find showering with their partner steamy, and yes, there is steam from the warm water, but Hide is fully focused on making sure I’m clean and taken care of. This moment together is not only washing me clean, but it’s washing away any doubt lingering in my mind. Hide truly loves me.
As the conditioner sits in my hair, Hide sings off-key, making me smile like a dork, and we both chuckle together. When he’s done serenading me, Hide rinses the conditioner from my hair. The blonde male then grabs a rag and pumps a few blobs of my body wash onto it. Hide works the soap into my skin, starting with my arms and working down my body. He makes sure every inch of my body is clean and that there's no sign of dirt or blood. After I rinse the soap from my body, Hide kisses the side of my head and steps out of the shower.
“I’ll grab you clean clothes.” Hide says before leaving the bathroom.
I soak under the warm water for a few minutes before I hear the blonde male enter back into the bathroom. I turn the water off and step out of the shower, and Hide wraps a large towel around my body. He then picks up my dirty uniform and holds it up for me to see.
“Should I throw this away or try to salvage it?”
“You can throw it away. Mr. Yoshimura will get me a new one.” I say.
Hide nods his head and excuses himself for a minute as he leaves my room. I dry off my body and hang the towel back up on its hook. I pick up the clothes that Hide set out for me, and I smile softly. Hide knows exactly what I need to wear to be comfortable. I slide on the clean underwear he has out for me, which is a pair of boy shorts, and then I slide sweats over the top of them. And to top it off is an oversized tee. I head into my room and lie down on my bed. So many different emotions are overwhelming my body. I’m so happy that Hide loves me for who I am, but it’s hard to shake off the deep depression that was festering inside of me. Also, reliving one of the worst days of my life has taken a huge toll on me.
Most nights, I have nightmares of what I imagined happened to my parents. I didn’t witness their deaths, but I heard it. And my memories of that day used to be choppy, only remembering fragments, the same parts playing over and over in my head, but being back in that house filled in the missing pieces. Tears prickle the edges of my eyes, and I bite my lower lip. I’m so tired of crying, but it seems my body hasn’t dried out.
The door to my room opens, and Hide walks in holding some clothing in his hands. “I ran into Kaneki, and he gave me his extra clothes that he stores in his work locker.” Hide pauses as he looks at me. His face fell as he noticed the tears running down my cheeks.
Hide tosses the clothes Kaneki gave him on my dresser and slides into the bed next to me, pulling me into his chest. “Hey, what's wrong?”
“I-I’m just overwhelmed,” I admit. There’s no need to hide my feelings from the blonde-haired male anymore. It feels good to say how I’m truly feeling.
“That’s okay,” Hide’s voice is soothing as he speaks. “You’ve been through a lot of emotions these past few days.”
The blonde-haired male runs his hand up and down my back, holding me close until I stop crying. Hide apologizes as he removes himself from me, and strips off his damp clothes to put on Kaneki’s workout clothes that he keeps in the cafe for his training with Touka after work. Then he slides back into the bed with me, covers us with my blankets, and spoons me. It doesn’t take long for my eyes to get heavy since I haven’t slept for the past three days. Being in Hide’s arms and feeling his warmth lulls me into one of the best sleeps I’ve had in a long time.
*
The sun shines through my window, causing me to stir and groan. I roll over onto my stomach and bury my face into my pillow. A deep chuckle sounds next to me, and I squint my eyes as I look at the blonde-haired male lying next to me.
“Good afternoon, sunshine.” Hide jokes, a playful smirk plastered on his face.
“What time is it?” I groan, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes.
“It’s 1:15,” The blonde-haired male replies.
I shoot out of bed and look at the clock on my bedside table, my mouth hanging open. “Why didn’t you wake me up sooner?”
“You looked so peaceful, and I assumed you needed the sleep.” Hide reaches out and tucks a piece of my hair behind my ear.
“I can’t believe you actually love me,” I whisper.
Yesterday felt like a dream, and I still can’t wrap my head around everything that’s happened. I never thought I’d see the day where a human says they love me while knowing I’m a ghoul. I guess I got lucky.
“(Y/n), there’s something I want to be honest about.” Hide scoots closer to me.
Those words make my heart race with anticipation, and a small bubble of anxiety forms in my stomach. The look in Hide’s olive eyes tells me it's nothing to worry about, but I can’t help the way my body feels uneasy by those words.
“I’ve known you were a ghoul since before we started dating.”
My eyes widened, and I choked on the air I breathed in. A fit of coughs racks my body, and Hide gently pats my back.
“W-what do you mean you knew? How?” My voice cracks as I talk.
“It was after we were attacked by Nishio. We were brought back to Anteiku, and I woke up at some point. You were asleep, lying on my mattress, and I was about to get up and lay you down. But then I heard Kaneki and Yoshimura's voices in the hallway. My gut told me I shouldn’t be awake yet, so I laid back down and pretended to be sleeping. I know I shouldn’t have done that, but I heard everything that was said.”
I blink at the blonde male a few times, taking in what he’s telling me. He was awake the whole time, and that’s how he found out I was a ghoul. I grit my teeth and smack Hide in the arm, causing him to say “Ow,” and rub the area I made contact with. The blonde-haired male pouts as he looks at me.
“I can’t believe you knew this whole time!” I cross my arms over my chest and pout back at Hide. I’ve been going through hell thinking he wouldn’t accept me as a ghoul, but he already knew! All that pain I went through could have been avoided if he had just told me.
“I know, I’m sorry,” Hide grabs my hands in his and stares deeply into my (e/c) eyes. “I feel terrible knowing you thought I would hate you, but I wanted you to feel comfortable enough to tell me yourself. I didn’t want to take that away from you.”
My bottom lip shakes. “You idiot.”
“All the ghoul research I’ve done is to get a better understanding of who you are, and so I could support you properly. I know a lot of things are happening in the ghoul world right now, and I don’t necessarily like what it could mean for you. I wish I were in your place so I could protect you,” Hide runs his hand through his hair, “but there’s not much I can do as a human.”
The blonde-haired male reaches out and touches the H that's dangling around my neck. “But there are a few things I’ve been working on.” Hide smirks at me.
My head quirks to the side as I stare at the vibrant male before me. “What do you mean?”
“When you saved that CCG member, and they called you in for questioning, I was terrified. I didn’t want them to find out that you were a ghoul. With you having to go into their headquarters, I knew there was a high chance things wouldn’t go well, so I started doing some research. I picked up a job as a delivery boy and hung around their building, accepting any orders that came from inside. Each time I went inside, I would take notes of how the building looked, things to watch out for, and I even asked one of the members how the RC gate worked. I stayed up every night until the interview, putting together a device that would interfere with its readings so you could walk through without it beeping.”
My heart was beating fast in my chest as I listened to Hide. To think he cared about me this much, that he would put in all this work just to make sure I was safe. He might not think he can protect me very well, but he saved my life on that day. If it weren’t for him, the gate would have beeped, and the doves would have killed me.
“Is that why you pulled me through with you?”
Hide’s eyes shift down to my neck, and he shakes his head. “I pulled you through, cause if you hesitated, that Mado guy would’ve concluded that you were a ghoul or at least hiding something.”
The bright male flicks his finger at my necklace, making the H sway back and forth. “It’s your necklace. I created the H with a chip inside of it that disrupts the readings of the RC gates.”
I knew Hide was smart and had a mind like Sherlock Holmes, but I didn’t know he was this smart!
“I thought it was weird that you gave me the necklace then, but I assumed you gave it to me to help calm my nerves.” I sit back against my bed. “One thing I’ve been curious about is why you said yes to the Doves' offer for lunch. I thought you were just being polite, but now I feel like there was another reason.”
Hide laughs softly. “I wanted to say no. I didn’t like the idea of Kusaba buying you lunch, but having the ghoul investigators see you eating was just another way to drill into their minds that you aren’t someone to be wary of.”
I lean into Hide’s side, my cheeks hurting slightly from the smile that’s been on my face while listening to him. All this time, and he’s been watching over me. It seems I’ve been blessed by having people who love me enough to protect me. My parents, Renji, and now Hide. I intertwined my fingers through Hide’s and squeezed his hand. I’ll make sure those who are around me stay safe. I won’t let anything happen to them, I can’t. Hide’s already done this much to help keep me safe, so I have to do the same in return.
We spent the rest of the day relaxing in my room and talking about everything that we weren’t able to talk about before. Hide asked me questions about ghouls, things I’ve done, and experiences I’ve had. Then I would ask Hide about humans, his life, and what human food tasted like. His descriptions of food were interesting. He tried to compare things to meat or different types of coffee so I could try to imagine what things tasted like. I told him about Ryoko and what really happened to her. When she died, I ran to Hide for comfort, and all I told him was that one of my best friends had died. Now I was able to tell him how the ghoul investigators killed her, and I even opened up to him about killing Mado.
Admitting to Hide that I killed the CCG member was hard, but he listened to me and didn’t judge. He told me I was brave for doing the one thing I hated just so that those I loved didn’t have to carry the weight of it. Talking about these things with Hide made me feel lighter, like I could finally move on from the things I did. This day brought us closer than ever, and I look forward to the future where I won’t have to hide things from the man I love.
——————————
A few days have passed since I got back, and a lot has happened. Renji sat down with Hide and me, and had a long talk with us on being in a human and ghoul relationship. He said we needed to talk with Mr. Yoshimura, that it would be best for the older gentleman to know, so he could help us. Bringing Hide to speak with Yoshimura made me more nervous than the moment when Renji and Hide met for the first time, but it went much better than I thought it would.
Mr. Yoshimura was happy for us that we found someone we love, and told us the story about his love life. I was shocked. I didn’t know Yoshimura’s wife was a human, but it makes sense now why he cares for humans so deeply. It’s rare for ghouls to care for humans in the way Yoshimura does, but I guess if you fall in love with one, it opens your eyes to how we’re not that different from one another. A lot of tears and wisdom were shared during that talk, and Mr. Yoshimura trusted us with things he hadn’t told anyone in years. To have him on our side felt so refreshing, but we all agreed it was probably best that no one else knew about Hide’s knowledge. Not a lot of ghouls would take kindly to a human knowing about their business. So for his safety, only the four of us would know.
I may have promised Mr. Yoshimura that we wouldn’t tell anyone else, but Kaneki deserves to have his best friend back. So I’ll make sure Hide talks with the dark-haired male soon. Kaneki has been keeping his distance from Hide in fear of the blonde-haired male finding out and in fear of hurting him, but I know Kaneki has nothing to worry about.
It also seems I missed a lot when I was gone. Kimi, Nishiki’s girlfriend, was kidnapped by Tsukiyama, so the brunette, Kaneki, and Touka ended up fighting against the gourmet. From what Yoshimura and Kaneki have told me, it was a rough battle. Nishiki almost died protecting Kimi, and Touka struggled with the aftermath of everything. It seems that Mr. Yoshimura had a talk with Nishiki about what would be best for him and gave him advice on being in a relationship with a human as well. In the end, Nishiki agreed to get help from Anteiku so he could better protect Kimi. I knew Nishiki had a heart deep down inside and wasn’t the asshole he portrays himself as. Actually, he’s still an assshole.
Today’s my first day back at work, which happens to be the brunette's first day at Anteiku. Kaneki and Touka are also on shift with us, and the cafe is full of customers and familiar faces, such as Hide and Kimi. The blonde-haired male has been spending all his free time around me since I’ve been back, and Kimi is here to support Nishiki on his first day of work. It’s a lively crew of people, but I feel like this is the beginning of something better.
“Do you remember his face?” Hide leans on the coffee bar, eyebrows pressed together as he looks at Kaneki.
“Remember whose face?” I tucked the tray I was carrying under my arm. Touka and I are serving, while Kaneki and Nishiki are making the drinks. They need the practice, so I reluctantly gave up my position as the barista today. It seems the two males are in a serious conversation as I moved behind the bar.
“Someone stole Kaneki’s wallet.” The blonde-haired male leans back in his chair.
“I-it’s fine, I barely had any money, and I found all my cards.” Kaneki tries to play down the situation.
The plum-haired female joins the three of us, rolling her eyes. “Did you at least report it?”
Kaneki shakes his head, which makes Nishiki huff. “If you didn’t look like such a wimp, they wouldn’t have targeted you in the first place.”
Hide narrows his eyes at the brunette. “Whoa, Nishio-senpai, you’re dragging down the Anteiku name with your presence.”
I slap a hand over my mouth and quickly turn to face the wall so I don’t get mixed up in Nishiki’s anger by laughing at what Hide just said.
“Want me to kick you out, Nagachika?” Nishiki grits his teeth.
“Nishiki,” Kimi's sweet voice pipes up. The brunette-haired male sighs, apologizes under his breath, and then goes back to work.
I glance at Kimi and can’t help but feel a surge of happiness swell through me. She was my first glimpse of hope that Hide would accept me, and now that he knows everything, I just want to tell her. To let her know that she was right. Kimi catches me looking at her with a stupid smile plastered on my face that I didn’t even realize was there. She quirks her head to the side and gives me a questioning thumbs up, like she’s asking if I’m okay. My smile morphs into a large, toothy one, and I nod my head towards Hide. Kimi seems to understand what I mean and matches my smile. It feels good to have her know. Maybe the four of us can go on double dates. I mean, no one else will understand us besides each other. I think it would be good if we’re there for each other.
A news reporter's voice crackles through the TV’s speakers, taking me out of my happy bubble. Reports of the CCG increasing their forces in the 11th and 20th wards have just been confirmed. A shiver jolts through my body, causing my hair to stand on end, and I lock eyes with Hide. The blonde-haired male gave me a reassuring smile, but it didn’t change the feeling that something big was about to go down. I glance around the room to see everyone else standing still. They feel it too.
——————————
AN: Guys, I don’t know why, but I STRUGGLED with this chapter. I felt so good when I started writing it, and got about halfway, and then started second-guessing EVERYTHING. For some reason, I felt like this chapter wasn’t good and wanted to rewrite it, but I’m so happy I didn’t do that. I hope you guys enjoyed the backstory of the reader, and I was so excited to finally say what Hide did for the reader with the necklace he gave her.
This was all I could think of after writing "Let's go home." How about no, Hide, let's not. 😭
Summary: Two years have passed since the raid on Anteiku and dead seem to have come back to life.
Content: Female reader x Hide Nagachika, ghoul reader, shy reader, takes place during seasons 3 (Kaneki spoilers, Scarecrow spoilers)
Word Count: 3.8K
Song: "Need Ur Luv" by Charli xcx
A/N: And that's a wrap on this little fic! Thank you to those that do read it, I enjoyed writing it very much! 😊
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Two years had passed since Anteiku burned to the ground. Two long, bleak years. You tried not to let the events that happened there take you over. You even tried to finish school but--you just couldn’t. Not when the campus felt so--dull without him there. Not when you saw him around every corner and when the memories hurt you too damn much.
So you’d dropped out and spent months rotting in your apartment. You painted to try and keep yourself sane, but the art you produced was only a painful reflection of everything you missed.
Nishiki had been the one to come and check up on you. To get you out of your apartment and try and get you away from your grief…no matter how harsh the words and tough love had been.
Touka offered you a job at her coffee shop, :re, which Nishiki all but threatened you to take.
You didn’t like it. You hated it actually. You didn’t want to pretend to be happy all the time. You didn’t want to move on like you hadn’t lost someone so important to you.
And the worst of it was Haise Sasaki, a CCG officer who came to grab a coffee from time to time. A Dove and someone who looked very much like Kaneki.
Who was Kaneki.
The others had had to stop you from marching up to him and revealing your ghoul status when you’d first seen him sitting there, reading a book and sipping happily like he hadn’t been the one to do it. Hadn’t been the individual who had killed him.
You tried to not hate Hasie. You really did because you knew he wouldn’t want you to hate his best friend. Knew he had probably offered himself up on a silver platter to the crazed ghoul, just as he had to you.
You tried and you tried and you tried but it wouldn’t stick. Not when all you saw was Kaneki sitting there. Not when he had forgotten who he had killed.
The other’s issued you warnings anytime Haise visited and you took yourself very, very far away from the coffee shop every time.
Time past you blink after blink. Work, walk home, sleep. Work, walk home, sleep. It's all you did. All you were willing to do.
When Hinami was captured, you didn’t react. When the other went to help go rescue her, you couldn’t find the goodwill within you to help. And when Kaneki came back, really came back, he approached you despite the others warning him to just leave it.
He sat with you as you scribbled in your sketch pad, the drawings never once coming out the way you wanted. Not once.
He just sat with you. Said nothing. Like he knew nothing he would say would ever be good enough.
“I saw him, you know.” You spoke after the passing of a few, long minutes, voice tight and eyes never once leaving the page. “That night.” Again, Kaneki was quiet. So eerily quiet you almost thought he had got up and left. “I told him not to. I told him you weren’t you. Of course, he didn’t listen.”
“That…does sound like him.” He finally spoke. You snapped your eyes up to look at him. To find the guy who had taken your chance at happiness away and saw just how tortured he really was. Not just about his friend. But about everything. Saw just how hurt he was.
He’s doing his best to help everyone. Destroying himself to do it. Is what he would have said…what he would have wanted you to see.
“I can’t forgive you.” Kaneki nodded in understanding. “But Hide would.” Your throat tightened. Your grip on your pencil tightened. Pain unlike anything you had ever seen filled into Kaneki’s eyes then. Pain the amount of which was near terrifying. “You have a second chance, Kaneki, to be with the people you love.” You continued, starting back up on your drawing. “Don’t mess it up.”
“I’ll do my best.” And he left and you felt so--hollow. Neither angry or sad or anything. Just--empty.
Nishiki had brought you a cup of coffee you didn’t touch and sat with you for a long while afterward.
Cold rain drizzled over you and the gathered ghouls as they tried to decide what to do about what Kaneki had become. It was all back and forth you tried to keep up with. Tried to have feelings about, but ever since your talk with the man of the hour, you couldn’t even get angry. Just numb. It was such a strange feeling--to be so completely unbothered, but here you were doing just that and letting the rain dampen your hair and clothes.
The smell of spring rain filled your nose, pulling you from your dissociation.
Fresh. Clean. Different from the rain currently falling around you all.
It was a smell that had you glancing between hooded ghouls surrounding you to try and see who it belonged to. All you catch was a glimpse of Tsukiyama’s purple hair and the flash of Nishiki’s glasses and--
A gray robe blocked your vision and you allowed it, feeling yourself slowly slip into another bout of dissociation. Just stared blankly at the muddy grass and think of nothing.
A hand grabbed hold of your upper arm and began to guide you away suddenly. Rain wasn’t falling over your head anymore, you noted as you blinked rapidly to see who had you. It was Nishiki, looking more troubled than he had when Kaneki had turned into that beast.
“Did I miss something?” You asked, glancing around to find everyone still mulling about, as if waiting for their next move.
“Uh--yeah. Something.” Nishiki agreed, glancing back himself.
“What?” You questioned. When Nishiki didn’t answer you pulled him to a stop and went to head back towards the others, but he was quick to step in front of you. “What the hell is wrong with you?”
“Okay--just--shit, I don’t know why I didn’t just get Touka to do this.” He gruffed.
“Do what?” Nishiki watched you for a moment, worry clear in his eyes. Worry that was so unusual for Nishiki to have for anyone. “Nishiki.” You warned.
“Okay, okay. Well, there’s no good way to say it then to just say it so…he’s back.” You blinked up at Nishiki, confusion muddling around in your brain.
“You mean Kaneki? Great.” You deadpanned, “I don’t see why you needed to pull me out here to--”
“No, no. Not Kaneki. He’s back.” Your heart froze.
Spring rain.
Fresh and clean.
That’s what you’d smelled. A familiar smell. One you had worried day and night about forgetting and you had really smelled it because--if Nishiki wasn’t playing some mean joke--
With breath held, you looked past Nishiki’s tall form to scan over the now leaving crowd of ghouls slowly. To find Touka watching you, worry seeming to have permanently etched itself into her eyes, not just for her husband, but for you too. You definitely didn’t need her to worry, not with everything going on with her now, but, as she joined her Uncle and your eyes found the only figure still standing there in the rain, maybe you did need it. Maybe she was right to worry.
Your mind ran blank all over again. Your throat tightened so painfully you thought someone was trying to choke the life out of you.
You didn’t--how were you supposed to react to this?
You didn’t realize how bad your body was shaking till a solid hand came to rest on your shoulder.
“What do you want to do?” It was Nishiki's voice that sounded in your ear. Nishiki’s hand on your shoulder.
You took in that wild dirty blond hair and those brown eyes so richly deep you could get lost in them and--you didn’t know.
What had Touka done when you all thought Kaneki had died? What had Touka done when he had come back, but as Hasie? You knew what she’d done when Kaneki came back for real. She’d slapped him but then married him in the span of a few days.
Should you just do that? Just forgive him for--for not dying and go on with your life? Try to go back to--to normal?
Understanding.
That’s what shone in those rich brown eyes of his. Sad understanding, just as they always held for you. Because he always seemed to know what you were thinking--who you were and yet he always understood.
“Do you want to leave?” Nishiki asked again. You looked the ghost over again. Noted how he hadn’t once pulled that scarf, which covered his neck and face from the nose down, off.
“Yes.” Nishiki was quick to pull you away.
You didn’t turn back. Not once.
You fought not for Kaneki, but so you could sink your teeth into flesh and tear into it with your nails. You fought so you could feel something. So you could choke on the taste of blood and finally just break.
He had been alive.
This whole time.
He had been alive for two years and hadn’t come to find you. Hadn’t even sent a letter or an email. Nothing.
He had let you suffer through griefing him just for there to be nothing to grieve.
After everything was said and done, Nishiki had come to find you again.
“What are you going to do?” You asked, kicking a bit of rubble as you walked. “Are you going to try and fix things with Kimi?” Nishiki was quiet for a long time as the two of you walked down the destroyed street aimlessly.
“I think I’ll try.” He started, “Because that chick--I hate to say it but I missed the hell out of her. I love her enough to try and win her back.” You nodded, but said nothing in return. “You still don’t know what you’re gonna do about Hide?” Just hearing the name still made your heart ache.
“What would you do? If you had thought Kimi had died horribly only to find she was still alive. Alive and hadn’t even bothered to let you know?” Anger flashed in your chest as you spoke. You didn’t want to be angry. You didn’t want to feel this way towards him but--you couldn’t help it. Not when he had hurt you so, so bad.
“I don’t know.” Nishiki’s words only made you feel even more lost. “But I think I would at least hear her out…From what I know, there was a reason Hide didn’t come back.”
You had showered, changed, and covered yourself in a cocoon of blanks willing sleep to come and claim you. You needed sleep to come to keep you from thinking, but all you could do was think. Was struggle with what to do about Hide. It was maddening, really.
A soft knock on your door had your body tensing.
You knew it couldn’t be Nishiki. The two of you had grown closer as friends over the two years since Anteiku, but he was never eager to come to your apartment. Especially when it was still in the state it had been in for just as long. He’d said as much to you.
You knew it wouldn’t be Touka, too busy with Kaneki and being happy.
No one else would have possibly come knocking on your door. You had made a point of isolating yourself from others your whole life--keeping them just far enough from you to never cross over into that friend territory.
There was only one person you could think of that would be knocking on your door now and the idea of facing him only made your stomach tie into such a tight knot you thought you might puke.
Somehow, you found your body moving. Found yourself yanking your blankets off you body, shuffling your slippers on, and heading towards the door.
Fresh, clean spring rain and coffee filled your nostrils as you grew closer and closer. Smells that had you freezing when your hand grabbed for your door handle.
What would you say to him? Hi? How have you been? Why did he leave you for so long?
You opened your door just as he had begun to head back down the hallway.
You froze all over again when your eyes found him. Tensed up so painfully when his rich brown eyes turned back to find you.
Silence filled the hall for a long, long moment. Silence and the sound of halted breaths.
“I, uh,” Hide was the first to speak. A creaky, staticy sound you found his voice within easily but--but it wasn’t the same. Something wasn’t the same. You eyed that scarf covering his face from his nose all the way over his neck.
What had Kaneki done?
“I brought you coffee.” He continued, raising the white cup a bit to show you. “I know you think Starbucks’ coffee tastes burnt, but it was the only thing open right now.” He gave a sound that tried its struggling hand to be a huff in amusement. A sound that was more microphone feedback than anything else.
You hadn’t forgiven Kankei. And found as you imagined what lay under the scarf Hide wore, you probably never would, no matter how hard he tried to redeem himself.
“I think you’d be able to find less burnt coffee in hell.” Hide gave a cheery yet distorted laugh. A laugh that was still his. A laugh that tugged at your heart so much it hurt.
You never thought you’d be able to hear it again. Never thought you would see him again, let alone joke with him.
“You’re probably right.” His laughers calmed as you just--stared.
“Do you…” You started, voice breaking in utter betrayal of your will to keep it together. “Do you want to come in?” Hide’s eyes softened.
“I don’t want to intr--”
“Come in.” Again your voice betrayed you. Made you sound so frail. Hide gave a small nod and started towards you. You held your breath as you held the door open wider for him. Held your breath as he stepped into your apartment, his clean scent washing over you like a tidal wave.
You were quick to shut the door once he was inside. Quick understand just why Nishiki hated having to even look upon your home.
It was a mess.
Just a complete and utter mess.
Crushed coffee cans and crumbled bits of paper lay scattered around the floor in numbers that could have only been assessed from years of neglect. Unfolded newspapers lay over the floor of the living room, paint splattered all over it.
Two wooden easels stood on those newspapers, paintings you had abandoned still sitting there. More paintings you had abandoned leaned against the walls and sat in stacks. Sketches you had ripped from sketch pads lay amongst them and you even spotted a take-out container or two, residual blood of meals once within them still covering their insides.
You kicked the closest take-out container far away from immediate view. Began to pick up the cans you'd littered all over the floor.
“I--sorry about the mess.” Something like panic shone through your voice then. Something wound so tight it sounded like it might snap at any given moment.
You took the cans to the trash only to find that too was overflowing. Had needed to be taken out weeks ago, so you resorted to placing the cans you’d grabbed at its base.
“It’s okay.” Hide tried to comfort.
“It’s really not.” The words snapped out of you more sharp and fast than you had intended. But you couldn’t help it. Not when that ball in your chest was expanding and expanded out of your control.
You found rich brown eyes watching you. Rich brown eyes again filled with that understanding you only found yourself growing bitter towards. A bitterness you checked immediately as you rubbed your hands over your face. Rubbing at your eyes like you might gouge them out.
“I--I’m sorry.” You breathed.
“Why would you be sorry?” Hide asked softly. So soft it almost didn’t sound through whatever distortion was messing with his voice. You pulled your hands from your face to find his eyes once more.
“Because--” You felt that pit in your chest harden. Harden so much it began to crack under the pressure. “Because I want to be--be happy. I want to be excited that your--” Your voice quivered, it pulled pain to the forefront of Hide’s eyes. “I just--I don’t know what I feel. I don’t know how to act or what to do. I’m sorry I walked away from you the other day. I’m sorry that I don’t know.” Hide gave a small nod.
“I…I don’t expect you to know. I just…selfishly wanted to see you.” Tears burned in your eyes then. Because you too had only wanted to see him. Had only wanted to hold him when he was gone. It had been your only dreadful wish and now--now you could hardly bring yourself to look into his eyes. “Can I…explain? I don’t expect it to change anything. Hell, I don’t expect you to ever want to speak with me again but…can I please explain?”
“I think I would at least hear her out.” Was Nishiki’s answer to you. Nishiki, who was one of the most cynical, quick to turn things negatively, person you had ever met.
You found yourself nodding and Hide explained everything he had been doing for the last two years. How he had been trying to find a way to help Kaneki. To help you all. How in doing that he had gotten on the bad side of a very powerful and dangerous clan. How he had kept away to keep them from finding you. How he had disgusted himself as a low ranking ghoul called Scarecrow. How he hadn't even been able to start his dangerous mission for a whole year while he recovered.
“All I thought about was you.” Hide’s brown eyes shut then tightly. “I’m sorry. So sorry. I just wanted to keep you from getting hurt.” Eyes so full of pain and regret found yours. Eyes that only push tears to well and fall from your eyes in hot streams. “But I only hurt you by keeping you away. I never wanted to hurt you.”
“Can I…” You’re croaked after a moment of quiet passed between you two. Hide gave you his full attention, nodded slightly as if to say anything. “Let me see you.”
His nods stopped. His brown eyes grew a bit wider at the request.
“You don’t want to see that.” His voice came out small. Scared. Unlike anyway you had heard him speak before. It was--insecure. And Hide was never insecure.
What had Kaneki done?
“P-please? I do.” You saw Hide’s fingers flex at his side.
“Are you gonna point and call me a freak?” He tried at being humorous again, but that fearful tremble never once left his voice. Tears fell faster from your eyes as you gave him a quivering smile.
“Never.” Hide watched you for a moment longer before his hands reached for that pale gray scarf.
The skin starting from his just below his right ear and crossing all the way over to the left had been ripped off. Bits of flesh too. The flesh of his left cheek had been completely consumed. Teeth and bone having been devoured in Kaneki’s gorge too.
The damage ran down the center of his throat, veering off to the left over his collarbone and disappearing under his jacket. A speaker-like device had been implanted into the base of his throat; the reason why his voice had been so distorted.
Your lips cut into a deep, trembling frown as you fought off the strangled sob that wished to bubble its way out of your throat.
You knew he wouldn’t want you to cry for him. Not for this. You knew him well enough to know he didn’t blame Kaneki for it. Was glad he had done it, as messed up as you thought it was.
“Creepy, right?” Again he tried to cover his vulnerability with humor. You closed the distance you’d left between you two instantly. Coming so close you were invaded by his familiar scent and could see every last detail of the damage done to him.
You brought your hand upward, going ever so slowly as to give him enough time to push your hand away if he wished. He never did and your fingertips felt over the line between smooth, warm skin and the rough scarring of his right cheek.
“You’re,” His eyes were big--watery like a kicked puppy dog’s. A small, choked sob sounded through the voice apparatus that tore at your heart so deeply. “Perfect.”
“You don’t have to pretend.” He managed to get out, shoulders drooping low.
“Why would I pretend?” You grazed your fingers higher to brush some of his dirty blond hair away from his forehead. Touches Hide leaned into, the watery pools lining his eyes threatening to break. “You’ve never once been anything other than perfect to me.” Hide said your name so small--so weak in the emotion washing through him.
“I missed you…” Tears streamed down his unmarred and marred cheeks. Tears you wiped away. “I know it’s not fair of me--too miss you like this when I left, but--” You gently guided him closer so that you could wrap your arms around him tightly. Hold him close to you and breathe in his scent and feel his presence--feel that he truly was here with you.
Hide’s arms were quick to hold you back just as tight, burying his forehead into your neck. His body shook in the force of his held back cries.
And though you were still hurt by him, you could no longer find it within yourself to keep being angry. To keep yourself from him when he had been dead for two years. Had been dead, never to come back.
All you had wanted during that time was for one last chance to say you loved him. One last chance for him to hold you and kiss you and laugh with you.
“I--I miss you too. God, Hide--” You couldn’t keep your own sobs from spilling from your lips either. “Please don’t leave me again. Please.” You begged, burying your face in his hair. “Please I can’t--I love you too much. I love you so much. It almost killed me, you dying I can’t--please don’t leave.” Hide nuzzled his forehead and face deeper into your neck, pulled you so close there was only the clothes on your back keeping you two separate.
“I--I won’t. It’s over. I’m--I love you so goddamn much.” His fingers dug into your flesh as if he could permanently latch himself to you. “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.”
“Promise me you’ll stay.” You begged on your breaking voice. Begged as you slumped into him and he slumped into you.
The doorbell rang once more as another customer entered the café. You had been to this café many times before so you greeted the employees in your usual friendly tone before you sat down. The table you picked was off to the side of the room. From there you could watch all the other customers as they went about their day.
At a table next to the window sat two men that you recognised. The dark haired one was another regular customer but the blonde one was only here with the first one occasionally. It was a shame really, you found him rather cute and wouldn't mind seeing more of him.
He seemed bored, resting his head on his hand and grumpily looking up at his friend. Unfortunately, you couldn't hear what they were saying. Except for one thing, which you heard clear as day. "Ugh, I hate this weather! It's too cold for a shirt but too warm for a sweater."
With those words the blonde straightened in his seat and pulled the yellow sweater he was wearing off of himself to reveal a light grey shirt underneath. You couldn't help but notice how it lifted slightly along with the sweater as he took it off before he quickly fixed his shirt again.
Touka putting the hot chocolate you had ordered on your table brought you out of your trance. You hadn't even realised that you had been staring at those two, or rather, that one. You thanked her quickly and as she left pulled up your sweater slightly to cover your face, hiding the massive blush that began to creep onto your cheeks.
Only now that you desperately wanted some distraction you remembered that you had brought a book with you that you wanted to read. You quickly fished it out of your bag and opened it, trying to focus on the words. However, a couple of minutes passed and you just couldn't do it. Not a single sentence managed to get through to your head.
With a sigh you closed the book again and moved your drink right in front of you. You stared at it for a moment before picking it up and taking a sip. It was amazing, as usual. As you set the cup back down, a soft smile now gracing your lips, your eyes landed back on the blonde.
His head was back on his hand but he now looked around the room with a bored expression. Your eyes met for just a second and you quickly looked away again, nervously opening your book once more. Although this time you had no intention of reading it.
This pattern continued for a bit - you tried to focus on literally anything else but in the end your eyes would always drift back to that cute blonde guy. You couldn't make any sense of it but didn't really hate it either. If only you could just go up and talk to him, ask him for his number perhaps!
But no, you just kept accidentally staring and then looking away, embarrassed.
Something about him was just so fascinating. Maybe it was the way his whole posture changed every so often as he talked to his friend. You watched him go from slouching on the chair to serious and intense two times during their conversation. Each time he fell back into his relaxed self within seconds.
You also watched him intently scribbling something on a piece of paper and then grinning brightly about it. That grin was adorable by the way, so bright that he couldn't even keep his eyes open. You'd love to see more of that.
Eventually, and you weren't sure how happy you were about this but it was certainly a relief, the two of them got up and left the café. As the door closed behind them you let out the breath that you apparently had been holding onto for the past two hours.
Maybe now you could concentrate on your book. You opened it once again but before you read a single word something else caught your eye. The yellow sweater. It still sat there on his chair, forgotten. Without a second thought you stood up, walked over and picked up the sweater.
You looked at it for a second before your brain caught up again and had the sense to bring it to Touka. Explaining that one of the guys who sat at the window forgot it here only earned you a slightly raised eyebrow from her. However, she didn't comment on it and instead just took it from you.
As you handed her the sweater you noticed a piece of paper fluttering to the ground. While Touka was busy putting the sweater somewhere you picked it up and read what it said. It must be what he had been writing earlier.
To you, the person who's been staring at me the whole time we were here: I noticed. And I think you're cute as well - we should go on a date sometime! Text me if you're interested^^
Your cheeks immediately turned bright red, embarrassed to have been caught like that but also flattered at the compliment. After taking two deep breaths you turned the note around and found his phone number. A big smile found its way to your face while you were already taking out your phone…
i'd like to play roulette with the red chips, please 🥺🙏
and may i also have a cosmopolitan 🍹😌
(i hope i did that right HAHAHA)
.˚ 💛┊..⃗. 𝘄𝗲𝗹𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝗵𝗼𝗺𝗲 ⌇
MDNI | h.nagachika x fem!reader
𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨(𝘴) :: pet names, oral (fem receiving), piv, praise, unprotected sex, edging, use of ‘daddy’ and ‘slvt,’ unprotected sex (let me know if i missed anything!)
𝘢𝘶𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘳𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘦 :: mack i’m fr so glad you requested hide. i love him sm 😭💛. i’m sorry this took so long. i reallyyy hope you like it!
those three words were always your favorite to hear. while they were simple, they meant a lot to you. it meant that your husband, hide, had returned home to you yet again.
being a member of the ccg wasn’t exactly the safest job in the world. you knew why your husband worked for them, but it still didn’t make you worry any less.
getting up from the couch to greet him, you flashed him a smile. “there’s my pretty girl.” he cooed after kicking his shoes off. your eyes roamed his body, taking in his features. he always looked so damn good in that uniform..
“honey?” his voice pulled you from your thoughts. blinking and shaking your head, you laughed slightly. “oh, sorry. i was uhm..” trailing off, you couldn’t help but look away. you didn’t necessarily want to admit to your husband that you were checking him out.
“admiring me?” he finished for you. he reached out and cupped your cheek with his hand. moving your head, he forced you to meet his eyes. swallowing, a small blush covered your cheeks. you went to speak, but every word that you thought of died on your tongue as you looked into his eyes.
“come on, angel. use your words. aren’t you going welcome me home?” he teased, a soft chuckle escaping him. the sound was like music to your ears as you looked at him. “w-welcome home.” you stammered out, repeating his words. “oh, come on. that’s it? no, ‘i love you’ or anything cute like that?”
hide had always loved messing with you. he enjoyed how flustered you got. “i-i..” leaning down, he pressed a soft kiss to your lips to silence you. “don’t worry, i’ll get you to use your voice.”
“hide!” a soft moan escaped your lips as he continued to draw lazy circles around your clit with his tongue. your fingers gripped the bedsheets tightly as you threw your head back. you could feel him smirk before he pulled away. “yes?” he chuckled, licking his lips.
“s-stop teasing.” you whimpered. he had been edging you for a good ten, maybe fifteen, minutes now. all you wanted was to cum, but he was denying you the satisfaction. “aw, my pretty girl wants to cum?” there he went teasing you again.
nodding your head, you looked at him. “please.” your voice was shaky as you gently bucked your hips. “ah, ah.” he shook his head, his blonde locks falling over his forehead. gently pinning your hips to the bed, he looked down at you with those chocolate brown eyes of his. they were always so warm and full of love.
a soft whine escaped you as you looked at him with pleading eyes. “don’t whine, sweetheart. i’ll let you cum.” he smiled at you before burying his face between your legs once again. he was quick to slip his middle and ring finger inside of you, his tongue immediately latching on to your clit.
“a-ah!” you squeezed your eyes shut as he immediately began pumping his fingers in and out of your sopping cunt. his tongue swirled around your clit, making you clench around his fingers. you could feel him chuckle, which made your eyes roll into the back of your head. “h-hide! fuck!”
it wasn’t long before your fingers found his tangled, messy locks. gently tugging on them, you felt that familiar feeling start to build in your stomach. you prayed that your husband would finally allow you the release you so desperately craved.
“p-please,” you cried. “please let me cum!” you could feel yourself hurdling towards your climax. “go ahead, angel. you’ve been a good girl.” he murmured around your clit. with a soft squeal, you felt yourself cum around his fingers. your fingers gripped his hair harshly.
hide gently pumped his fingers in and out a few more times, helping you come down from your high. once he was satisfied, he pulled his fingers out, watching as a string of cum followed. “such a good girl. came so much for me.” he praised. bringing his fingers to his mouth, he immediately licked them clean.
your chest rose and fell with every breath, your eyes still closed. after a moment, you opened them. hide was kneeling next to you on the bed, a smirk decorating his features. a bulge was noticeable within the tight confines of his navy blue slacks. “a little hand, love?”
you were quick to sit up, your hands immediately reaching for the belt that held up his slacks. “so eager.” his tone was teasing as you fumbled with his belt. after a few more minutes of you fumbling, hide decided to help you out. his fingers made quick work of removing his belt, the sound of the leather sliding out of the fabric making you drool.
the second his belt was discarded, you quickly undid his slacks and pulled them, along with his underwear, down. his dick immediately sprang free, the tip red and already oozing precum. “look at what you did to me angel. you’re just too damn pretty.” pressing a kiss to your lips, he carefully pinned you down to the mattress. while he kissed you, he finished discarding his pants.
“‘m gonna fuck you so good.” he murmured. you whined against his lips, spreading your legs to give him easier access. “that’s a good girl.” he chuckled as he slowly slid into you. a pornographic moan escaped you, your eyes immediately squeezing shut.
“taking my dick so well, pretty girl.” he praised as he slowly started thrusting in and out. the bed dipped under the pressure of bodies as he started to move his hips faster and faster. “a-ah!” your arms had looped around his neck as he pushed his hips flush against your groin.
resting his forehead against yours, he couldn’t help but press another sloppy kiss to your lips. “so fucking deep!” you cried against his somewhat chapped lips. he continued to roll his hips against yours, allowing every inch of him to fill you up. “and so b-big!”
that had hide chuckling. “yeah? but you can take it. i know you can, pretty girl. you always take my dick like a champ.” he groaned. hide couldn’t help but praise you, especially when you were a sweaty mess underneath him. while he loved how you looked no matter what, his favorite way to see you was fucked out underneath him. it made the long, grueling hours of working for the ccg worth it if it meant he could come home to his perfect girl.
“i-i’m gonna cum, honey. where do you want it?” soft pants escaped him, his body sticky with sweat. you only whined, not giving him a direct answer. leaning down, he whispered in your ear. “if you don’t tell me, i’m going to cum in this slutty little pussy and you’re just going to take it. take it like a good girl.”
his words made your eyes roll into the back of your head, your hips bucking harshly against his. “d-do it! cum in my slutty cunt, daddy!” you whined as you felt yourself come undone on his dick. the second your velvety walls squeezed hide’s already sensitive dick, he came. “o-oh fuck!” he gasped.
he thrusted his hips a few more times, carefully working the both of you through your climaxes. as you both came down from your high, you couldn’t help but let out a giddy giggle. “what’s got you all giggly, cutie?” hide asked.
