It's been a while since the How I Met Your Mother finale. I didn't expect to find myself writing a rant but here it is. I woke up this morning thinking about it. I don't know why but it was the first thought in my mind when I woke up. And it all clicked. The pain, the feeling of betrayal, the tears, all of it. I know why the finale upset me SO MUCH.
A lot of things were hard about it. Not knowing about Lily's career, watching Robin's friendships fall apart, the swarkles divorce, not knowing the name of the last Erikson baby, so on. But there was one thing that has really bothered me.
Love. This show was a beacon of hope when I felt like I was going to die alone for sure. I have never had a date and I'm an adult. I'm out of high school, I'm in college, I'm trying so hard to find my place in the world. This show made me feel like maybe, just maybe things would piece together.
I never realized how much I was rooting for Ted. I thought that he was the smallest reason I watched the show but that wasn't true. The more I think about it, the more I realize how much I wanted him to be happy, how much I wanted him to find that person. If you haven't seen it already, you should watch this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UIKVrv1lAcY&list=PLrChL-QFvz-9tADPrTxaqSinqRnGyivKG
In that video, you see the moments when he wanted to give up, when he thought he was done. As viewers, we knew he wasn't. We knew there was something spectacular waiting.
And the big slap in the face here is that there was. I know a lot of people were disappointed in season 9 as a whole. I loved every episode. It might be my favorite season. I loved seeing those scenes with him and Tracy. I loved the episode where we see what she went through over the years. I love how things lined up. Their lives didn't match up perfectly. they had their differences. But in some ways they were so similar. They fit together. They reacted well together. They were a good couple. They were the kind of couple that make you feel a sharp pain (a good kind of pain) in your heart because you want that.
I was angry and I was hurt because I rooted for Ted Mosby and Tracy McConnell. I'll admit it. I wanted a happy ending. I thought this show was there to help people like me believe. That's something I never wanted to be wrong about. And that sucks.
I just... I want that. I want to be so excited when I'm proposed to that I interrupt him multiple times to say yes. I want someone to share every story of his life with me. I want to be the person someone has been looking for. I want to help make things better on crap days. I want someone to name at least one child after a fictional character with me. I want someone to want 45 extra days with me.
I looked back at those scenes that lead up to their meeting like his class, or her umbrella, or his speech about wanting more time and it makes me forget every problem I had with the finale because all I remember in that moment is their meeting.
The finale did not ruin this show for me. It did not ruin the meaning. But it still let me down. This is why.
Because I love love. I love Ted and Tracy Mosby. I love his quest for love. And even with everything, with feeling let down, with that moment watching the finale when I realized everything was going downhill fast, I will miss this show. I'll miss Ted. I'll miss his hope and his quest. I'm going to miss his love for Tracy. I'm going to miss them.