Warning: mentions of sex and stuff but nothing explicit (too lazy to actually do the lemon) and OOCness.
Sometimes she asked about her relationship with her neighbour. Even she felt that it was weird. And it truly was.
At school they were kind of like rivals, everyone knew how much she wanted to be better than him, maybe most people in school thought they hated each other but they didn't. And off school they were lovers.
Of course they started as friends, they were neighbours so their families were friends too, Momo, his older sister was the same age as Ichigo, her older brother, those two went to the same high school, his mother and her father used to know each other at college too, so there was no excuse for them to not meet each other as children.
The first time they actually talked with each other was when her mother died in a car crush, they were 3 at the time. She remembered crying in front of him telling him that she didn't want to see Ichi-nii hurt, didn't want to see her father and sister sad. He told her that it will be fine and he agreed to let her play with his toys. That day she learned to play soccer because he was the one who taught her.
Back then people knew them as two inseparable friends, and they were. While he usually got bullied because of his hair she was always there to defend him, and when she needed help in anything he'd always be there to help her as well. They were both happy until they entered high school. Both of them changed, Toshiro became quite popular, because of his grades, and ironically his looks. He was admired by everyone, including people who hated him because they were just jealous of him. He was smart, good at sports, liked by all the teachers, and good looking.
That was when things started to get a little weird between them. Or more like awkward. Neither of them wanted to let their feelings ruin their life. So they stayed as they were before. Karin occasionally would challenge him only to realize she could not beat him. She realised how much better he was than her and it usually angered her.
Things between them really changed the day when she became curious.
“Hey Toshiro, the other day I overheard a girl say that she got a friend with benefits” one day Karin said out of the blue. They were at his house doing a project.
“And? Why are you saying that?” He asked.
“About?” He didn't really like where that was going.
“Aren't you curious about sex? I am. We are 16 for god's sake, we are meant to be curious about this type of stuff. A lot of people I know has already had partners of their own and some in our class even has a friend with benefits. While I'm here who hasn't even had her first kiss” Karin complained.
“I didn't know you cared about first kisses and stuff” he said without looking at her. If he had to be honest with himself he thought about those stuff too.
Sometimes he'd wake up in the morning with a hard on because of some indecent dreams he had of his best friend. Those were the reasons why it was so awkward sometimes for him to face her while they walk to schools in mornings.
“Is not that I care about all the first kiss concept being special and all that shit movies talk about, I'm just curious, I want to know the feeling of kissing someone, I don't really care who that person is you know? And sex too, I just want to have the experience, I don't care about this “save your virginity for the right person” stuff that some girl talk about.” She faked the sweet girl's voice while she pretended being one of those girls in movies. “I mean it's so old school to think like that”
He was speechless “you don't care who you do it with?” He asked after a while.
“Not really, if I have the chance I'd do it, you know how curious I am” she admitted.
“What if we have sex right now?” He didn't mean to ask that but when the words left his mouth it was too late.
She blushed, shocked at his question. “What?” it was not like she never dreamed having sex with him. But...
“You said that you were curious right?” Toshiro didn't know what was happening to him but he couldn't shut up. He got up from his chair at his table, the project forgotten and walked over to her who was sitting on his bed with their textbook open. “To be honest, I'm curious about this too. And I do want to get rid of my virginity.” he really had no idea what took over his brain. But it was too late.
She grabbed his shirt and pushed him down toward her.
There was no going back when their lips connected for the first time. Of course it satisfied her curiosity but there was something more. Because both of them knew their feelings for each other. But at that moment they didn't want to say anything.
She thought that he only wanted this because he wanted to get rid of his virginity while he thought that she only wanted to do this because she was curious. It was a shame that neither of them knew how wrong they were about each other's feelings.
“What are we now?” She asked the next day as they walked to school.
“We are still friends right?” He asked coldly. He had no idea how much those words had hurt her
Karin was hurt. She never thought that he'd be like that. He used her just so he could get rid of something he didn't want. While she knew that she couldn't complain because she was the one who said that she wanted this.
“I guess we are now friends with benefits too huh?” She sighed. The sadness in her voice was unnoticed. “i satisfied my curiosity and you got rid of your virginity”
He nodded looking away, he didn't want to tell her that he only did that because he loved her but she didn't feel the same so he kept his mouth shut this time.
They repeated the experience a few times after their first time. Still no one said anything about their real feelings. They both said that they were content with what they had, but deeply they were hurting.
Both Yuzu and Momo noticed the changes. Yuzu noticed when her sister started hanging around her and her friends during lunch. Karin used to spend lunch time with Toshiro. While Momo noticed her brother's change behaviour when she found him walking to school alone, he used to walk to school with Karin.
Yuzu had had enough of this weird behavior. As much as she enjoy having her sister at lunch she hated seeing her favorite couple being separated like that. She wanted to be his sister in law some day. And so far they were doing a horrible job of being together. So one day she confronted Karin with her questions.
“Karin, how is Hitsugaya-kun doing? I haven't seen his around you for a while, are you two fighting again or something?”
Karin tensed at her older twin's question. “i haven't talked to him for a while.” she said honestly.
“Why? I thought you two were best friends”
“We were… it's just complicated Yuzu" the past tense didn't gone unnoticed by the light haired girl.
“Explain to me, if there is something wrong I want to help you Karin. You have always been there for me so I want to help you too” Karin looked at her sister and the look told her that she was serious and she wanted to know what was going on. So she sighed, she couldn't lie to her sister.
“Yuzu… Toshiro and I…we… well... I slept with him, and now everything is complicated” she said. “ok... is not that complicated, we have because friends with benefits now…” she mumbled
The older sister's eyes widened for a second before she placed a hand on her twin's shoulder.
“A month and half ago, it was when I went to his house to finish that history project…”
“Do you love him Karin?” Yuzu asked.
Karin was shocked by the question. “I guess so…” she had only admired to herself about her feelings before so telling some else about it was weird. “But it doesn't really matter. Toshiro doesn't feel the same way. When we agreed to this, he said that he wanted to get rid of his virginity”
“And what about you, what did you say?”
“Karin” at the time Yuzu used she could tell that she was serious with every single question.
“Well… I said that I was curious about sex, and that I'd do it with anyone if I had the chance.”
Yuzu sighed and she finally understood the problem. “Karin, you should tell him about your feelings”
“Because you don't deserve this. I want you to be happy.”
“But there is nothing between us, it's only casual sex. It's… nothing more than that…” her voice kept getting lower and lower.
“Karin I think you misunderstood everything. Of course… Hitsugaya-kun misunderstood you too. I know you and I know him enough to to know that you are both really awkward when it come to love and relationships.”
“What I mean is, you've been dancing around your feelings for each other and you are both afraid to tell each other how you feel. You know what… never mind just go talk to him, trust me on this”
Karin always trusted Yuzu so the next day she decided to tell her long time friend.
She found him on the roof at lunch time, she knew that he liked that place because there he could eat in peace, before everything happened they always ate there so none of his fans could bother them.
“Toshiro… I want to talk to you” she said straightforwardly. She had never liked those types of girls that forget their voices at the presence of a guy they liked.
“What is it?” He asked without looking up at her.
She was nervous but she didn't let it show “I just want to say something I should have said a long time ago, well two things I guess. First I want to tell you that I like you Toshiro and secondly I'm sorry”
He looked up at her and he was shocked “what?” She liked him too? Since when?.
She sighed and set down next to him. “Lately things have been weird between us… Yuzu noticed it and yesterday we talked. She asked a question that caught me off guard. She asked if I loved you. I already knew my answer when she asked but yesterday it was my first time admitting it out loud that I do love you. The talk made me realize so much, the biggest thing I realised is that I regretted not telling you this sooner. I also realised that-” she was cut off. Her mouth was occupied by hid and she realised that she didn't mind that cliche as much as she though she did.
“I'm glad you return my feelings, and I'm sorry too, I should have told you that before we slept together, I took advantage of you, I thought you just wanted to do it with someone so it could satisfy your curiosity. I didn't want to ruin our relationship so I lied and told you that I just wanted to get rid of my virginity” he admitted. “But I don't understand why didn't you tell me about your feelings?” He asked after a while.
“I never thought I'd be special to you” she said.
“Idiot, apart from my family, you were the first person to accept me as who I am. Before high school people never liked me because of my hair and my personali. Don't you see that you've always been special to me, you are my first friend outside of my family, you and your family accepted me in and treated me like an actual human being.” he confessed.
“Why didn't you confess to me then?” She asked not looking at him because she was too busy blushing.
“I never thought I'd be special to you” he said exactly what she told him.
“You are the stupid one here, you were there when my mother died, you were the one who taught me how to play soccer, you were always there when I needed you. How much times have you helped me when I needed someone.” soon she started laughing and he panicked.
“I just realised how stupid we've both been. Yuzu was right. We are both so awkward when it comes to love and relationships. None of this awkwardness would be here if we were better at expressing our feelings.”
“True” he agreed with a rare smile. A sign that she loved seeing.
“So what are we now?” She asked after a while. “Do you want to start over again?”
“Go out with me” he said.
“Huh, as a date?” She teased.
“Yes. I want to spend time with you doing others things other than sex. It's good but a relationship is not only that”
She laughed at his blushing face. She felt a lot better after this “do you feel better now? I feel a lot lighter now that I told you how I really feel.”
“I do. So do you or do you not want to go 9n a date with me?” He asked.
“A date it is then! I look forward to it.”
When she wondered about their relationship, she realized that it didn't matter if it was weird, as long as they were happy. It never mattered.
