#hoffrez

[dixxiemaegraphics]

Been meaning to make a big rarepair post but like only got this far (so far)… Idk

[malloph0ra]

Down boy!!!

Since july …

based loosely on and a spiritual successor to my fic Cheap Strip Mall Collar <3

[gorecuffs]

Very short, very sappy Hoffstrahmrez for Valentine’s Day…

https://archiveofourown.org/works/79213411

[gh0st-4ss]

watch out, boy, she'll chew you up!

[sawgunz]

Some HoffStrahmRez fankids stuff and I feel high on crack for making them but they’ve been existing for months(in terms of me writing their lore but haven’t thought much about their appearance)

I’ll just briefly explain bits of their lore because I’m supposed to sleep shh

-Willow is 25, Locket is 23, Paris is 19-

ok so…

-Willow is an affair product from Perez and Hoffman, at this time Perez and Strahm were technically together but not official yk yk(idk💔). Perez had a hard time finding the right moment to come out clean, knowing how Strahm doesn’t take things lightly she waited on it for a while enough for Strahm to find out soon on his own which escalated them to an argument. Perez then goes to Hoffman to talk it out, Hoffman asks if Perez actually wants to stay with him, Perez hesitated long enough for Hoffman to know that Perez has more genuine love and loyalty(?)to Strahm than she does for him—to avoid feeling vulnerable, Hoffman walked off without a word. I’m going to fast forward a bit on how they decided on who’s going to take majority of the custody for Willow is that Strahm told/demanded(in a furious and “I’m hurt that you’d go for another man after everything we had, were we just ‘partners?’”way)Perez to give Hoffman the full responsibility on Willow because Strahm couldn’t bare taking care of another man’s child let alone looking at it’s face especially if it’s the child of the man who he deeply resents.

For Locket and Paris, it’s basically when the mom and dad loves each other very much and had a baby together and became a happy strict family☺️…ahem. Keep in mind that Willow is OLDER than Locket and Paris. Strahm had always been very strict on what they do(due to the fact Strahm almost lost Perez. Strahm is fiercely protective of his family, to the point of paranoia, and has trouble letting his kids grow up.)—mostly out of fear of losing them instead of expressing himself to his children. He puts pressure onto them, to ensure that they’re independent to prevent his children from being easily influenced or reliant since he believes that trusting someone too much meant giving them the opportunity to grab the blade and stab ya(metaphorically). Locket looks up to her dad very highly and takes Strahm’s authority as her passion, Locket can be boastful at times and realises how her actions may hurt people very late, she ends up only apologising when she’s calm enough to understand emotions, hers and other’s—she may also forget to process the situation because whenever she’s overwhelmed, she becomes impulsive and claims to know what’s she’s doing despite being under pressure even if it gets her in trouble. Beneath that tough exterior, Locket desperately seeks out for someone to prove herself worthy to and needs someone to lean on for support after standing all alone for a long time as she tends to distant herself from people due to the mindset Strahm gave her which led her to struggle in mingling with others, excluding her family ofc. Paris on the other hand, he is more closer to their mother. Perez acts as a support and loving figure(a contrast of Strahm)to her children(excluding Willow, she hasn’t met that gal for 20 years)but at the same time she’s reckless with how she treats her children because she’s just as pressuring as Strahm is but she’s more “gentler” & slow-taking so despite Perez having the same expectations as Strahm—Perez guides and observes them while doing so, making a sensitive child like Paris to feel closer to their mom, while Locket leans more to wanting to be authoritative like her father. Paris is a bit gullible where he believes even the worse people can be redeemed/saved which causes him to be paranoid about how Strahm will think of him for being too trusting to others—Paris is stubborn to show his vulnerability, so he covers it by suppressing his insecurities to an optimistic and sarcastic mindset. Paris with Perez is like a safe place, and she’s his emotional anchor. Paris feels comfortable crying to her, he hides nothing from her, and she returns it by comforting him with warmth and patience. Whereas when he’s with Strahm, it’s complicated—Paris respects his father, but Strahm’s technique to help Paris develop for toughness or phrases like “you’re a man” provokes Paris’s sensitivity. With Locket, he relies on her to keep him composed while she leans on him to avoid being too naive in the social environment. They argue constantly but they have a strong bond.

Willow is the most complicated one here(in my opinion)because of how monotoned Hoffman is, and him being the only one she’s really known personally caused Willow to grow up having mental struggles like understanding how her own emotions work, how she should treat others, and identity struggles of what her purpose truly is. Willow feels less loved compared to Locket and Paris as Hoffman is busy as heck as well as Hoffman neglects Willow unintentionally out of the instincts of wanting to not remind himself of how he failed to protect his sister because he is failing to protect Willow from following his path. Hoffman never wanted to make her grow up becoming like his mistakes by taking pleasure in pain but when he couldn’t pull her out of it, he had to watch her grow up into what he tried avoiding the most. Willow’s sadistic taste isn’t purely from pleasure in pain, but from the need of control, Willow had the belief that causing suffering ensures dominance, and that dominance ensures that she will never be abandoned. Her father’s tough love and her mother’s absence created her sense of security. Until today, power and fear are the only ways she knows how to make others “stay.” And since she was born first, she definitely feels like Locket and Paris took the position she wanted to feel and be in, loved and cared for—rather than being seen as a liability or something that shouldn’t be existing. Willow believes that Strahm “stole” Perez from her—and Willow hates Locket the most because she reminds her of the person who took away the person she wanted to feel belonged with.

im getting my butt jumped for this🙏

[bloodshotgun]

Saw Franchise + I’ve Got All This Ringing in My Ears and None On My Fingers by Fall Out Boy

[featherwhiskered]

what warranted hoffman stabbing perez about 12 times. was he mad he didnt get to fuck strahm so he was just frustrated about stabbing her

[spiralinghours]

“Ooops!”: A brief little hoffrez drabble

Pairing: Lindsey Perez x Mark Hoffman

Rating: PG (maybe for like language and that’s it)

Summary: Perez has a lingering look at Hoffman… And then a clumsy encounter.

Author’s Notes: I’m so bad at titles and descriptions so apologies for that first and foremost. There’s literally nothing weird or scandalous to note here—it’s a very short and fluffy bit. BUT I know some people aren’t too keen on stories where Hoffman is shipped with certain people, so don’t take this too seriously if this isn’t your thing. This was inspired by a cute little scenario discussed with a bud on here, so it’s all in fun. If Hoffman x Perez isn’t for you, just scroll away! Okay coolies!

(But seriously using the term “shipping” between them here is incredibly light. They flirt and that’s about the extent of it.)

It didn’t really mean anything the way Detective Hoffman had given her the tiniest of subtle winks after their friendly small discussion over where the coffee machine was located, and the little stuffed animal he was going to bring his daughter. (“That’s cute,” Perez chirped to herself. “A single dad.”) Some people were just inclined towards platonic flirtations, if that was even a thing. Perez mulled it over in her head, recalling instances of having her forearm touched by cute baristas or being called “sweetheart” by delivery drivers. Super basic scenarios. It all ultimately meant nothing other than certain people being more affectionate. But that playful wink, edged with the slightest taste of Grecian-Jersey charm, as it were, had her beaming.

Strahm’s fuming and annoyance, all the while showing through with angrily flared lashes, tickled Perez even more, not quite sure what qualms her partner could have this time. (Spoilers: he took issue with everyone and everything. But it was strangely endearing.)

After a silent lull in discussion, Strahm indicating it “wasn’t her call” to submit certain pieces of information to Hoffman, Perez dismissed herself to a coffee break.

“Want anything?” she absentmindedly asked Strahm, assuming he would decline the “piss water”.

“Nah, this place brews piss water. I’ll go to Dunk’n.”

Perez had already wrapped herself halfway out the doorframe, when she felt a solid bulk bump against her nose and muffle her lips. The subsequent topple over startled her, causing a delayed jolt when she realized she had collided and fallen onto someone. Her eyes met with a rounded chin and a heavy chest under blue-gray fabric, but she couldn’t force herself to take in much more.

“Oh my god! Fuck! I’m so sorry!” she gasped apologetically, grasping around blindly.

The larger picture came into view, and the grimacing visage of Detective Hoffman—trying his best to play it all off into a weak grin—presented itself.

Perez quickly started apologizing again, but with a severely more embarrassed intonation, as she had realized her legs were draped to either side of the man. She was straddled over his stomach, cushioned and radiating warmth underneath her.

“Are you okay?!” she finally forced out after the repetitive “I’m sorries”.

“Yeah,” Hoffman winced, trying to lift his head with some struggle.

“The back of your head hit the floor,” Perez more or less mused, like it was a question. She reactively reached her fingers for the back of his skull to inspect for bleeding, absolutely disregarding any professional boundaries there might have been. (She knew she had the intrusive impulse to reach out anytime someone was hurt or in danger—grabbing collars to keep someone from falling, grabbing faces to check for consciousness… It couldn’t be helped.)

Hoffman watched under his heavy-lidded gaze as she gently felt around. His darkened quaff had come loose, straying from a tight side part into two wisps that fell across his more natural middle part. Perez couldn’t help but notice how cutely the mussed hair framed his features.

“I’ve hit my head plenty enough from high school sports, I’m sure,” Hoffman joked, his deep rumble of a voice curling into a honey-sweet chuckle.

Perez tried ignoring how the jostle of his light laughter wobbled his belly underneath her spread thighs. She tried ignoring the pastel, dreamlike image of him sweating and tackling people in a sport like rugby, or football—muscled biceps and quads padded with a flattering layer of chub.

What the fuck?

“Are YOU okay?” Hoffman went on, genuine concern lowering his lids even further at the corners.

“Well yeah, you—” She hadn’t realized one of her hands had started trailing around his chest and down the curve of his stomach. All so plush. “You caught my fall.” She blushed.

“Well, lucky for you, I’m pretty cushioned.” Hoffman chuckled again, the slightest bit of pain cutting through.

Perez’s eyes darted to the left at the statement, not wanting to be seen for her observations being vocalized.

“Mmmhmm, yeah, I’ve, uh… I know…”

“Heh, you been looking, Agent Perez?” Hoffman jabbed harmlessly.

“Maybe,” she muttered in response. “It’s cute.”

In a rare turn of events, a deeply pink blush bloomed over Hoffman’s typically smug face—all unmerited bravado softened with surprise. “Cute?”

Perez hesitated to follow up, allowing the way her thumb had started rubbing against the grain of his hair to speak for her.

“Are you done with the grabass with Barbie out there, Lindsey?” a voice cut through. Clearly Strahm, who was close (but discreet enough) to witness everything in disgusted silence.

“Were you getting coffee?” Hoffman questioned, soft-wet eyes rolling up to meet Perez’s.

“Yeah.”

“Allow me. I’ll grab it for you.”

They helped each other up (finally) just under an awkward hush.

“Cream and sugar?” Hoffman asked, looking down slightly at Perez from his full stance.

“Yes.”

“You got it.” He winked before turning on his heel, moving somewhat slowly.

A knee jerk smile warmed Perez’s lips as she took in the stupid incident that felt like it lasted ten hours. “Fuck,” she sighed.