So I have a class I teach at HEMA events that I used to call “holding space” before that term got associated with therapy speak. Now I call it “holding your own in the face of combative pressure” and it’s designed to teach tentative people not to crumple under stress.
The thing about this class that always makes me feel some kinda way is that at the beginning I say “you have a right to occupy the space you inhabit, and nobody has the right to move you unless you want to be moved.”
There is always at least one person who has never been told that before.
It’s very validating to hear “you have a right to stand where you stand and be unmoved” responded to so positively by people, but man I will tell you it has made me very aware of how many people have grown up being told the opposite and crushed when they pushed back.
Once I said that and a student immediately started crying. I didn’t quite know what to do about it. They were able to continue after a few moments, but teaching this class has given me a burning personal grudge against anyone in a leadership or mentoring position who crushes those beneath them.
Anyway since many of you may not have heard this before: by virtue of being a person, you have an inherent right to the ground on which you stand, and nobody has a right to move you if you don’t want to be moved.
Your power is yours. Nobody else’s.
Take that for what it helps.