Nov 13, 2025
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Homemaking but Without the Alt-Right Trad Wife Pipeline
Hey Girlie Pops,
Between TikTok and Tumblr, I’m seeing way too much bedrotting and overwhelm about what actually needs to happen to clean a room or maintain a home. There’s a real gap in basic home-training skills; and the people filling that gap are often alt-right tradwife influencers and crunchy pseudoscience.
So!
I am here, as your big sister who’s been living alone and maintaining clean, functional spaces in both surgical/clinical and cozy domestic settings for 6 years now, to teach you the basic tools, how they work, and how to keep your home clean cheaply and effectively.
This is homemaking for Competent Women not patriarchal nonsense. I'll cover pet care and pet cleaning routines and supplies in a follow up post, and these are all going to be tagged as #Big Sister Chats
≽^•⩊•^≼ Tools and Supplies ≽^•⩊•^≼
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The Perpetual Tools ♡ Basics You Actually Need
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ᵔᴥᵔ An upright canister or Euro canister vacuum
- not a stick vac. If you’re only going to have ONE vacuum, it should be a canister with real suction power and attachments. Supplement with a stick vac later if you want.
ᵔᴥᵔ A Bucket
ᵔᴥᵔ A Mop
- Cuban, Spin, Microfiber, Sponge, Deck Brush… I don’t care, just get a good mop head.
ᵔᴥᵔ A Broom
ᵔᴥᵔ A Dustpan & Brush
ᵔᴥᵔ If you have carpet: A handheld carpet cleaner/spot cleaner, and know where your local rentable wall-to-wall cleaner is (grocery stores, Lowe’s, Home Depot).
ᵔᴥᵔ Rubber or heavy nitrile gloves
ᵔᴥᵔ Rags
ᵔᴥᵔ A Scrub Brush
ᵔᴥᵔ A Plastic Razor Blade
ᵔᴥᵔ A Garment Steamer or Iron (I am begging you and I promise it's worth it)
ᵔᴥᵔ A lint brush, lint stone, or lint comb
ᵔᴥᵔ A clothing drying rack or clothes line
ᵔᴥᵔ A dish drying rack with mat
ᵔᴥᵔ A Toilet Brush & Plunger Set
ᵔᴥᵔ Two Laundry Hampers or Laundry Bags
ᵔᴥᵔ A sponge with a non-scratch scrub side (Scrub Daddy, Scotch-Brite, whatever)
ᵔᴥᵔ Plastic Drain Snake
ᵔᴥᵔ An old toothbrush (For detail bits)
ᵔᴥᵔ An Ironing pad
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Nice To Haves ♡ Upgrades That Make Life Easier
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ᵔᴥᵔ A Hand & Stick Combo Vacuum (Bissell Featherweight, Dyson stick vacs, etc.)
ᵔᴥᵔ Your own wall-to-wall carpet cleaner (if you have carpet)
ᵔᴥᵔ A Spin or Steam Mop
ᵔᴥᵔ A Swiffer-type Quick Mop dusty and mist/damp mop system (O-Cedar Microfiber, Swiffer, etc.)
ᵔᴥᵔ A Wet/Dry Vac (there are very cool all-in-one mop/vac combos now)
ᵔᴥᵔ A Steam Cleaner
ᵔᴥᵔ 1–2 divided cleaning caddies
ᵔᴥᵔ Scouring Pads / Steel Wool
ᵔᴥᵔ A Dish Brush
ᵔᴥᵔ Dryer Balls
ᵔᴥᵔ A Mini Bucket (for mixing small solutions)
ᵔᴥᵔ A Duster (instead of just using dry rags)
ᵔᴥᵔ Spray Bottles (Labeled with what's in them)
ᵔᴥᵔ Dedicated sink plunger
ᵔᴥᵔ Pumice stone for hard water and rust lines
ᵔᴥᵔ A floor and a hand squeegee (Wet messes, pet hair if you do the rubber brush + squeegee thing)
ᵔᴥᵔ Ironing Board/ Arm boards/ Tailor's Hams
ᵔᴥᵔ Disposable Exam gloves
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The Barest of Cleaning Supplies ♡ The Minimum Effective Arsenal
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ᵔᴥᵔ Bleach or an ammonia-based cleaner
- Something with actual documented pathogen-killing power (Clorox, Lysol)
ᵔᴥᵔ Distilled White Vinegar
ᵔᴥᵔ Scouring Powder
- Bar Keepers Friend, Comet Bleach Powder, Baking Soda, pick one
ᵔᴥᵔ Oxygen Bleach / OxiClean / OxyPowder
ᵔᴥᵔ Castile Soap
ᵔᴥᵔ Laundry Detergent
- powder, liquid, pods, doesn’t matter just something effective
ᵔᴥᵔ Carpet cleaning solution (if you have carpet + a portable carpet cleaner)
ᵔᴥᵔ 90% Rubbing Alcohol
ᵔᴥᵔ Hydrogen Peroxide
ᵔᴥᵔ Enzyme Cleaner (if you have pets or a period)
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Nice To Have Cleaning Supplies
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ᵔᴥᵔ Cleaning solutions for any “Nice to Have” machines
- (steam mop, carpet cleaner, wet/dry vac)
ᵔᴥᵔ Dish Soap
ᵔᴥᵔ Surface-specific cleansers
- (stone-safe, wood-safe, bathroom-safe, etc.)
ᵔᴥᵔ Mirror & Glass Cleaner
- (Though 50:50 vinegar + water does this very well)
ᵔᴥᵔ Canned Air for electronics
ᵔᴥᵔ Screen Wipes / Screen Cleaner
ᵔᴥᵔ Metal Polish
ᵔᴥᵔ Leather Cleaners
ᵔᴥᵔ Beeswax Block
ᵔᴥᵔ Lemon Oil
ᵔᴥᵔ Essential or Fragrance Oils
- These do not CLEAN they're to make things smell nice, and be sure to check which ones are compatible with YOUR pets
ᵔᴥᵔ Fabric Softener
ᵔᴥᵔ Fabric Scent things (sprays, rinses, beads, etc)
ᵔᴥᵔ Spray Starch
ᵔᴥᵔ Wrinkle Releaser
ᵔᴥᵔ Ironing Spray
ᵔᴥᵔ Color Safe Fabric Sanitizer
ᵔᴥᵔ Dryer Sheets
ᵔᴥᵔ Dishwasher detergents & Rinse additives (if you've got one)
ᵔᴥᵔ Washing Machine Cleaners
- If your machine works with these AND you have them in home, but honestly, hot water + a baking soda scrub + rinse + vinegar will do this too
ᵔᴥᵔ Laundry Stain Remover Pre-treatment (tide pens work pretty well here tbh)
ᵔᴥᵔ Niche fabric detergents (woolite, delicates detergent, etc)
ᵔᴥᵔ Drain Cleaner/Liquid plunger
ᵔᴥᵔ Citric Acid or other hardwater problem solver if you have hardwater issues
ᵔᴥᵔ Carpet Powder
≽^•⩊•^≼ The Routines ≽^•⩊•^≼
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Daily Maintenance ♡ Because it's easier to keep clean than get clean
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Mornings:
ᵔᴥᵔ Make the bed
- Your mom and that navy admiral guy on all of the inspirational vertical shorts accounts were correct. It starts your day off correctly with an accomplishment and it makes your room look better
ᵔᴥᵔ If you have in unit laundry and a load, start it before class/work/etc
ᵔᴥᵔ Do dishes as you cook or right after eating
ᵔᴥᵔ Quick Trash check
- if it's full, smelly, wet, etc, take it out on your way out of the house
Evenings:
ᵔᴥᵔ Switch your load from the morning into the dryer or onto a drying rack
ᵔᴥᵔ Quick sweep of clutter and things where they don't belong back into their rightful places
ᵔᴥᵔ Quick run through with a broom/dust mop/swiffer/stick vac (your surface level quick cleaning method for hair, crumbs, dust, and dirt)
ᵔᴥᵔ Dishes, get that sink cleared nightly and wipe it down and a quick pass over your prep surfaces (you can literally take your wet sponge from doing dishes, wring it out, and take a hand towel after it)
- it's the same concept as making the bed in the morning, so that you start and end your day with an accomplishment
ᵔᴥᵔ Put away any laundry you did that day, pull out and prep your outfit for the next day (iron/steam out wrinkles, hit it with a lint roller doesn't have to be perfect, doesn't even have to be starched, just presentable and not looking like you grabbed it out of the laundry pile and slept in it)
ᵔᴥᵔ As Part of your evening hygiene routine, wipe down the bathroom sink for toothpaste worms, makeup dust, etc. Grime will build up quick in bathrooms
Keep In Mind: These are all 2–10 minute tasks, totaling about 30 minutes to an hour of maintenance per day.
Doing these small resets cuts your deeper weekly cleaning from 6–8 exhausting hours down to 2–3 manageable hours.
This isn’t about perfection.
This isn’t about being a Stepford wife.
This is about saving time, energy, and effort for Future You, so she’s not stuck doing disaster recovery every Saturday.
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The "Adulting" Midi Cleans (1-2x weekly) ♡ for a little more heft (1 hour max in addition to above daily)
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ᵔᴥᵔ Run the Vacuum, just... hit the open floors, should take you maybe 10 minutes per room assuming fairly large rooms, my entire apartment takes me about 20 minutes and 30 minutes if I'm wrestling with the stairs, and I only do stairs once a week
ᵔᴥᵔ Quick scrub the toilet, just a quick inside the bowl with the toilet brush, swirl (not even 90 seconds)
ᵔᴥᵔ Hit all the kitchen and bathroom countertops with a quick wipe without moving your knife block, spice rack, etc. (3-5 minutes a room)
These are your touch up cleans, Not your deep cleans, not your maintenance cleans
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The Weekly Reset ♡ 2-3 Hours Active Time
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Bedroom:
ᵔᴥᵔ Sweep under the bed
ᵔᴥᵔ Strip the bed and throw the linens in the wash (Pillowcases, sheets, duvet covers, mattress pad/protector)
- Blankets and comforters that don't have a cover should be laundered monthly, covers and sheets should be laundered weekly, and inserts should be laundered every 3-6 months
ᵔᴥᵔ Gather any dishes that didn't get caught in the daily sweeps
ᵔᴥᵔ Vacuum
ᵔᴥᵔ If you have hard floors: Mop and dry with a towel (a towel under the feet works great for this and you can use your dirty towel from the bathroom)
ᵔᴥᵔ If you have carpet: use carpet powder or baking soda on freshly vacuumed carpets and let it set while you clean the rest of the house, then vacuum again at the end
ᵔᴥᵔ Remake the bed with clean linens (either the ones you just stripped, or a secondary set)
ᵔᴥᵔ Wipe mirrors and surfaces
ᵔᴥᵔ Dust frames and bookshelves
ᵔᴥᵔ Tidy Nightstands, put books away, etc
ᵔᴥᵔ Straighten Drawers and closet
Bathroom:
ᵔᴥᵔ Clean Makeup and Skincare Brushes/Sponges
ᵔᴥᵔ Launder towels, washcloths, and bathmats
ᵔᴥᵔ wipe down toilet exterior, toilet seat, sink, and tub with lysol or bleach solution
ᵔᴥᵔ Scrub any necessary stains away
ᵔᴥᵔ wipe mirrors
ᵔᴥᵔ Chemically clean toilet bowl (lysol or bleach into the bowl, then scrub with toilet brush)
Living Space/Office:
ᵔᴥᵔ Vacuum and mop
ᵔᴥᵔ Wipe Down Surfaces
ᵔᴥᵔ Straighten throw blankets and throw pillows
ᵔᴥᵔ Sort Mail into shred, address, and file
ᵔᴥᵔ Clear your junk mail tab in your email
ᵔᴥᵔ Empty digital and real recycle bins
ᵔᴥᵔ Hit upholstery with a lint roller
Kitchen:
ᵔᴥᵔ Vaccuum and Mop
ᵔᴥᵔ Wipe Down surfaces, cooktop, and oven; move knife blocks,spice racks, and small appliances as needed
ᵔᴥᵔ Thoroughly clean any small appliances like toasters, coffee makers, or air fryers
ᵔᴥᵔ Wipe down sink
ᵔᴥᵔ Check fridge for expired goods, wipe down one shelf (rotate which shelf you wipe down through the month)
ᵔᴥᵔ Check freezer and scrape frost if necessary
ᵔᴥᵔ Wipe the microwave out with a damp cloth if you have a microwave
Outside and Entryway:
ᵔᴥᵔ Sweep leaves, dirt, and gravel from front step, shake out welcome mats and entry rugs
ᵔᴥᵔ Tidy your shoe rack if you have one
ᵔᴥᵔ If you have dogs, now is the time to clean up poop in a back yard.
ᵔᴥᵔ Straighten up outerwear, "dump tray", and purse/bag
ᵔᴥᵔ Check the car for random fast food trash or general clutter
Closing Words:
It's not your fault if no one taught you any of this, that's okay. I had to teach myself a lot of this, so I'm sharing this to help you learn so that you don't have to struggle through trial and error like I did. My asks are always open for your unique challenges and home keeping struggles and I hope this helped!
Your 1950s era home maintenance list for August.
If, before visiting a friend's house, you learned that they live in an extremely messy house on the verge of a hoarder situation, how would you feel?
Saddened, and NOT willing to visit their house
Disgusted, and NOT willing to visit their house
Neutral, but NOT willing to visit their house
Empathetic or compassionate, but NOT willing to visit their house
Some other way, and NOT willing to visit their house
I live in a similar situation, and would NOT be willing to visit their house
Saddened, and WILLING to visit their house
Disgusted, but WILLING to visit their house
Neutral, and WILLING to visit their house
Empathetic or compassionate, and WILLING to visit their house
Some other way, and WILLING to visit their house
I live in a similar situation, and WOULD be willing to visit their house
Assume that before you learned this, you were interested in visiting their house.
–
We ask your questions so you don’t have to! Submit your questions to have them posted anonymously as polls.
After this week of being ‘off’ with the kids, the final week before school starts back. I’m going to need a vacation 😂😂😂
2 days of this week I was in some virtual training to complete the program I started back in April. 4 hours each day, and that worked out fine.
It was a good block for the kids to have some screen time - they’ve been in an outdoor summer camp ALL SUMMER LONG. Paddle boarding at the lake. Hiking. Nature adventures. Some down time before the school year kicks off is good.
While I was in the training, I touched up the trim - in a large part of the house, it was painted cream when we bought the place. Between larger breed dogs, kids, cats, hosting events, construction workers in and about, it’s taken a beating folks. Chunks of paint missing. How? Who even knows. I completed the kitchen, den, dinning room, living room, kids bathroom and their bedrooms, as well as the back door and side door. Still need to get our bedroom and some upstairs in the hall, it’s 70% finished though.
I really should have completed before and after pics, it’s wild how much of a difference something relatively small can make.
Hung this creek painting that was always in my grandmothers living room in my upstairs space. It was magical and peaceful, it was actually her birthday, and that was so meaningful.
We have been at back to school events almost everyday this week, here’s a picnic that has all the resources for both kids schools. Ran into that one teacher, she exudes unhappiness, maybe it isn’t malicious, it feels more of a deep dissatisfaction, personally, that is waffing off her. Everyone else was amazing and so happy to see the kids, catch up. Met the oncoming band director, she’s fabulous. The other teachers for J’s grade came up to me and noted his overall happiness, how he seemed so light, and it really brought home how much stress all that took on him last year. Phew. Bye Felicia. (Post about this 2 posts back)
We had a volunteer squash come up in the back yard this summer. We decided to let it do its thing. I suspected it was a pumpkin, with its growth pattern and it is! Look at this pumpkin y’all! It’s huge, I actually pulled it off the tree - it was climbing right on up.
Some summer snuggles. The kids love to sleep on the pull out couch in the living room over holidays and summer sometimes. This window is so short and sweet. Soaking up every moment -
We also consulted an orthodontist for Lils. She has so much crowding. We are starting spreaders and they think it may help with sleep 🤞 it makes later care lesser overall.
They’ve had haircuts. It’s been busy. BUSY.
crow sightings out front. One had flown off and others were in the trees -
I have enjoyed sitting out front with the wildflowers and watching the butterflies and birds on the porch this week with some coffee in the mornings. It’s been resetting.
I feel ready for this change when I return to work. My schedule/location change are coming at the perfect time. I’ve needed the break from teaching, I’ve come to enjoy my practice again. It feels intuitive and rich.
Finding myself.
Blessings xx
