My brother just another me

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My brother just another me
to be brutally honest i've never had pride in my sexuality and i would be straight if i had any choice in the matter. i thought i'd grow out of that shame but i'm starting to think i'll never be happy with who i am and that's just the way it goes
I hate complements. I hate that I’m supposed to like them. I hate that I’m supposed to genuinely thank someone for overwhelming me. I hate it I hate it I hate it
I hate that people insist on completing me even when I tell them to stop.
i feel like im different from everybody else and im doing everything wrong snd im living life wrong and differently
Dude, have you ever been in class, right, and like, as one of the unpopular/ potentially queer kids. And one of the popular kids, for once in their damn life, makes a relatively funny joke! So wanting to at least mildly fit in you laugh, primarily because it's funny though, AND THEN THEY MOCK YOU FOR FUCKING LAUGHING? HELLO? LIKE YOU MADE A FUCKING JOKE AND YOU'RE FORTUNATE ENOUGH TO HAVE ME LAUGH AND NOT ROLL MY EYES WHILE TELLING YOU TO GO SUCK A DICK, AND YOU'RE MOCKING ME?! I LAUGHED AT YOURE JOKE WTF?!
Why do i have to be different? Why do i have to be broken? Why must i be unwanted? Why must i be different? Why can’t i just be a carbon copy of someone else? I hate being unique? Why can’t i be the same as everyone else? Why? I wish i was normal. I can’t be normal. Thanks fate /s. I want to die because if how different and broken i am. I physically can’t be the same as others or not broken. Why do i have to be physically disabled? Why do i have to be trans? Why must i be different? Why can’t i just be generic and the same as everyone else?
I love being different.