Writing with ADHD, cont.
[Read my first post on the topic here], if you want to that is
RSD vs RRE.
In my last post, I already introduced you to RSD (Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria [Cleveland Clinic Infopage]). It's the the “one mildly critical comment = emotional apocalypse” setting, says my snarky self.
Now allow me to introduce its chaotic twin:
RRE — Recognition Responsive Euphoria [Dr Hallowell].
It is exactly what it sounds like.
I get a kind comment. A thoughtful piece of feedback. Someone says my writing made them feel something.
And suddenly my brain goes:
✨ we are a literary genius actually ✨
Cue:
Floating. Cloud nine. Possibly cloud twelve, thirteen (because it's my lucky number, don't question it, I'm a Gemini) or whatever else may be available to that signifies absolute elation
A surge of joy so intense it feels like I could power a small city
“Let me just write you a quick reply” → becomes a 5,000-word essay
“I should write another chapter” → becomes I should write an entire sequel trilogy by Tuesday
It’s intoxicating in the best way. Pure, sparkling enthusiasm. The kind that makes me love writing so much it almost hurts.
And then.
…then the pendulum swings.
Because ADHD doesn’t come with a built-in pacing mechanism.
So somewhere between I will write you a book and real life exists:
Writer’s block shows up like an uninvited houseguest
Executive dysfunction says “we will simply not do the task today”
Basic needs (food, sleep, chores, existing as a human) demand attention
And suddenly all those promises I made — sometimes just in my own head (because let's face it, this is where I spend most of my time, plus sometimes I simply think so fast that I don't even remember if I ever verbally or in writing conveyed my feelings — loom like a stack of overdue library books
Cue the emotional whiplash:
oh my gosh what have I done I can’t possibly deliver this I’ve let them down I’ve let myself down
Which, if you’re keeping score, loops neatly back into…
✨ RSD ✨
So I end up on this rollercoaster:
Feedback → RSD spiral 🕳️
Encouragement → RRE rocket launch 🚀
Reality → oh no → back to RSD again
No brakes. Just vibes.
Understanding this pattern has been… honestly, a bit of a game changer.
Because now I can catch myself (sometimes) in the middle of the euphoria and go:
“Okay. This is RRE. We love this. We are enjoying this. But maybe we do not promise to write an entire novel by next week.”
And on the flip side:
“This is RSD. This feels catastrophic, but it isn’t actually the end of my writing career.”
Neither state is lying exactly. They’re just… very loud interpretations.
So these days I try to:
Let myself feel the joy without immediately overcommitting
Let feedback sit before reacting to it
Separate what I feel from what is actually being said
And maybe, occasionally, drink a coffee before making any life-altering writing promises ☕️
If you’re riding the same ADHD seesaw between “I am a fraud” and “I will write twelve novels this week”:
You’re not alone.
Your brain just has two volume settings:
devastation and euphoria.
Learning to exist somewhere in the middle is… a work in progress. I am a work in progress. And after many years of not knowing and not understanding, having the words to express what's going on in my brain is honestly about 95% of what I need to navigate this world. Granted, ADHD is brilliant at making sure that the remaining 5% are the emotional and mental rollercoaster of a lifetime, but that's a topic for another post.
