#i hate celery

[sp4c3man]

SOMEBODY ANYBODY PLEASE EXPLAIN TO ME WHAT CELERY IS LIKE WHY DOES IT TASTE LIKE THAT??? WHY IS THE TEXTURE SO EW??? WHY DOSE IT SQUEAK WHEN YOU EAT IT??? WHY IS IT SO COLOURFUL??!1?1? WHY IS IT SO LONG AND LEAFY BUT ALSO NOT??? AND WHY TF IS IT SPELLED THAT WAY LIKE WHO TF DECIDED THAT😭💀

WHO TF ACTUALLY ENJOYS EATING CELERY LIKE IT TASTES LIKE SWEATY CARDBOARD DIPPED IN DOG WATER WITH A SPRINKLE OF PUBLIC BATHROOM FLOOR AND A DASH OF ZOO ANIMAL CAGE WITH A HINT OF SAWDUST LIKE WTF😭😭

WHAT IS ITS PURPOSE?? WHY IS IT HERE??? DOES UT WANT TO KILL US?? IS IT AN ALIEN?? IS IT EVEN REAL???

SOMEBODY PLEASE HELP ME OUT I NEED ANSWERS😭😭😭

[idkwhattosayaboutit]

Hello it’s time for a fill in the blank ask :)

Celery should be eaten with _____

The lid of a trash can

[deuchess]

Theory: Felix doesn’t eat fruit and veg

that’s probably true😔

if he ever eats any greens it’s the mashed peas that comes along with the fish and chips. and he only eats those when he’s out eating with his parents and grandparents who always tell him to eat up.

AND MAYBE! he drinks celery juice just so he can say that he drinks celery juice ((he heard Elijah did it so of course he had to as well))

[water-mellie-seeds]

🌻🌻????

I stole a can of chicken and rice soup from walmart a few years ago and it sits in my dresser bc i dont actually like chicken and rice soup turns out

[woosked]

My unbridled rage towards celery will outlast both me and the heat death of the universe

[the-wyzer]

Exercising my free will by not putting celery in my food even if the recipe says so

[peebo-peebo]

If I had a Time Machine, I would stop people from eating celery.

[heartsmourne]

this is a celery hate blog. this blog is anti-celery. fuck celery in all its forms.