#ickysickyspeaks

[chronicallyickysicky]

sometimes i am hit like a truck with the knowledge that if an able bodied person went through what i go through in a day they’d be horrified

[chronicallyickysicky]

i grieve the person i used to be sometimes even after 10 years. or more like i grieve the version of me that i thought i could be as a child.

[chronicallyickysicky]

filling in forms for DSA is so annoying they used to post me only the bits of the form i have to fill in and it was like 6 pages now i have to download it and sort through 40 pages to find what bits i need to fill in. like im glad that is online now so that i dont need to post it but man 40 pages of questions most of which aren’t for me means i cant just mindlessly fill it in i have to pay really close attention to all of the directions and it is zapping all my energy

[chronicallyickysicky]

after 3-4 days of torture…

including popping an ice pack in my sleep and soaking my pillow…

drum roll please…

🥁🥁🥁

MY MIGRAINE IS OVER!!!!

🎉🎉🎉

[chronicallyickysicky]

i used to be self conscious about my cane especially when it clicked now i just think about i movies where the bad bitch power walks in heels clicking and try to embody that energy

[chronicallyickysicky]

got my blood done yesterday and only just realised the guy did them with no gloves?? like bare hands. he didn’t wash them when we got in the room and he had been touch and opening doors.

like he sterile wiped my arm

took his bare fingers that had just been all up in his desk and pens and everywhere else outside the room and started feeling for my veins

then stabbed me.

i’m confused… at that point why did he bother to sterile wipe 😭

bro at least wash your hands. i just can’t believe it took me so long to process that wtf. i’m usually so good and spotting and asking

[chronicallyickysicky]

mmmmmm chest pain

with a side of back pain

with nausea as dessert

[chronicallyickysicky]

this is the most empty my appointment whiteboard has been in a while (touch wood/hj)

locations blacked out- not that i think anyone would show up to a hospital lmaoooo

though i do have an appointment tomorrow afternoon which i dont even know what it is about 😭 the receptionist just told me the doctor wanted to see me. I assume they think i know why? but i have been in that blokes office for so many different things 😭😭

list of things it could be about:

- news from neurology (hopefully not that they’ve kicked me off the wait list again because i will loose my mind if they try to put me through the migraine pathway for my brain falling out again)

- updated review since PCOS became PMOS

- news from cardiology in relation to the bloody TBD tilt table test

- news from cardiology about my echo result which they are too late to give me because my pain management team already told me all good structurally

- pain medication review

- some other bullshit they’ve decided eg the appointment i had about getting my pain meds on repeat that they told me to try to not take them 🙃

i will update tomorrow when the mystery is uncovered and what happened ❤️