Do you ever think Chat Noir takes Ladybug's instructions to keep identities secret a little too seriously to the point it crosses back over to being hilarious?
I'm thinking in terms of "deliberately encourages misinformation about himself". The internet has a couple theories about Ladybug's identity (mostly just the basics which she's personally confirmed, because Ladybug is a very private person with a history of dropping the Eiffel Tower on people she doesn't like), but they've *exploded* over Chat Noir. Hundreds if not thousands of theories over who (and/or what, and/or how) he could be. They range from the mundane to the extreme, and Chat goes out of his way to "confirm" as many theories as possible, even when they're blatantly false and make zero sense whatsoever. Adrien Agreste has like ten separate sockpuppet accounts on Reddit and the Ladyblog forums and they're all devoted to spreading conspiracy theories about Chat Noir with varying levels of rationality.
It helps that Adrien has a huge variety of skills and talents that he basically never uses in his normal life because they were only stuff he learned to please his parents, but now he can put all those skills to use as "evidence" to confirm weird theories. "Hey, Chat Noir, is it true you're actually not from France but actually [random country]?" And Chat just responds with a couple sentences of perfectly fluent [random country's most common language] explaining that he's not allowed to confirm or deny that theory.
It drives Ladybug insane. It drives Alya Cesaire insane. It drives the villains insane. And it's the most fun Adrien's ever had. Maybe Ladybug was onto something with this "keeping our identities secret" thing after all!
The Justice League had just raided a Cadmus that had “gone rogue” and was “out of the government’s control” according to Waller (and that woman lied as easily as she breathed, Clark would be impressed that he couldn’t even detect her lies if it wasn’t so personal)
The base was clearly researching cloning powerful individuals and making another Superman was clearly their goal. It seemed like they succeeded in some way.
When the Justice League got there there was a young teenage boy who looked EXACTLY like Clark back when he was Superboy getting shot at by kryptonite ray guns. When the boy saw Superman he almost froze him using ice breath before the could calm him down and take him to the to the watch tower.
And what they found shocked them.
His DNA was EXACTLY like Clark’s, but with no trace of his Kryptonian heritage, in its place was a strange radioactive substance. (one that was later found naturally decaying in green Kryptonite)
The boy also was very closed of, only opening up to J’onn after he told him he was a Martion (and the way the boy’s eyes lit up when he realized he was talking to an alien in space)
The Martian couldn’t read the kid’s mind but everything he told them was concerning. He didn’t see himself as a person, not deserving to be called alive or dead, he didn’t have a name beyond Phantom, and his “parents” were mad scientists that made weapons that HURT him.
Superman didn’t know what to do as he walked to the room of his clone. He didn’t want to freak out and react badly like he did to Conner but he also didn’t want to freak out Phanton by saying he was only a copy of him, the boy didn’t seem to know what and who he was.
…he was excited to learn that J’onn was an alien, maybe that was a start.
———————
Danny was flying through the Ghost Zone trying to save Cujo from Skulker (or save Skulker from Cujo when the ghost dog inevitably got through the metal shell of the ghost hunter) when he was knocked into a random portal to some creepy base that looked like it belonged Vlad and his cloning obsession.
The base was apparently run by some knock off GIW that had weird ecto-ranium powered guns that messed with his powers and knocked him put of his Ghost form.
And then he ran into a man that looked almost exactly like Dan minus Plasmius’s influence.
Danny was lucky that the weird ecto-ranium turned his panicked Wail into an ice scream.
He had apparently landed in another reality where there were other Superheroes and aliens! (this was so much better then being forced to join the school newspaper club, even if Sam liked blabbering about corrupt companies and Tucker liked the camera tech)
Danny still tried to keep his secret identity but he might have let a couple things slip when he was TALKING TO AN ALIEN SUPERHERO IN SPACE, OH MY GOSH!!!
He’s powers were still on the fritz though and he needed to find a way back home. He had to wait though so maybe he can learn more about the nice Dan lookalike.
-TLDR Danny is Clark’s dimensional counterpart and accidentally confuses the Justice League.
I need more Robert Robertson identity shenanigan fics (I will be adding to this as I come up with ideas lol) (also feel free to steal these and write them! Just let me know so I can read them <3)
Give me him casually dropping insane lore
Give me him putting on the Mecha Man costume to save a member of the Z team (bonus points if he has to team up with or save Flambae)
Give me moments where the Z Team talks about Mecha Man and Robert is just sitting there like •_•
Give me people thinking Mecha Man is Robert’s ex
Give me Z Team finding out that Robert is leaving once Mecha Man’s suit is repaired and they all jump to the conclusion that he’s leaving them to be Mecha Man’s guy in the chair. Cue them having aggressive interactions with Mecha Man
Give me Z Team thinking Robert is an ex-villain because he’s good at hacking and they overheard him telling Chase something about dropping a guy off his balcony
Give me the Z Team playing Fuck Marry Kill with pro heroes over comms and Invisigal proposes Mecha Man to fuck with Robert. Cue Robert saying Kill Mecha Man because he’s depressed at the same time several people say they’d Fuck Mecha Man
Villains figure out Robert has some connection to Mecha Man so they kidnap Robert on the condition that Mecha Man shows up
SDN is trying to figure out if there’s an internal reason that the Z team is doing well so they have Robert pretend to be a former villain and put him on the Z team
There are many identity porn fics where the justice league plays FMK and Superman chimes up with how he would marry Bruce Wayne and rawdog him everyday.
And I present to you, reporter Clark Kent accidentally getting stuck between the 3 holy faces of billionaires aka Bruce Wayne, Oliver Queen and Alex Luthor and somehow getting roped into playing a VERY passive aggressive game of FMK where he accidentally ends up blurting out about how much he would like to marry Batman and rawdog him while the man is wearing his batsuit and growling in his ears to put his back into fucking him(at no point of this ridiculous conundrum is he aware of the fact that Bruce Wayne, is indeed, The Batman)
By the time he's done with spitting out his frankly obscene and x-rated fantasy about the knight of Gotham, Bruce Wayne's heartbeat is suspiciously high and he's blushing up to the tip of his ears, Oliver, on the other hand, fell down his chair laughing and cackling like a maniac 3 minutes ago and Alex has steam coming out from his bald head and ears with veins popping up on his neck, making him look akin to a particularly pruney raisin.
Danny Fenton has been living in Crime Alley for three years.
He showed up around the same time Red Hood did.
He’s strong. Fast. Weirdly durable. Doesn’t flinch at gunfire. Gets into fights to protect people who can’t protect themselves. The working girls adore him. The kids follow him around like ducklings.
And—most importantly—he once picked up a gun and shot a guy’s weapon clean out of his hand from across the street.
So, naturally, everyone in Crime Alley knows Danny Fenton is Red Hood.
They are very polite about not saying it out loud.
Crime Alley protects its own.
Danny, meanwhile, has no idea what’s going on.
“Why do I have three hitmen after me this week?” he complains, ducking another bullet. “I didn’t even do anything!”
(He absolutely did do something. It’s called existing with Fenton luck.)
The weird part?
None of these guys are using anti-ghost tech.
Just regular human guns.
Danny is deeply offended.
Jason Todd has a problem.
Because apparently—
He has a civilian identity now.
And that civilian identity is walking around Crime Alley, getting shot at, and somehow not dying.
Jason would like to know:
Who the hell this guy is
Why he’s using Red Hood’s name
How he’s still alive
And most importantly—
Why everyone in Crime Alley is acting like this is completely normal
The real issue?
No one in Crime Alley is stupid enough to tell Red Hood they know his identity.
Fake dating gets in the way of real romance (Prompt)
Prompt: Tim’s parents enter him in chess tournaments all over the world from a young age, where he wins and becomes known as a protege well before he takes up the cape.
So as he ages, and keeps up the Chess (as not doing it would be suspicious) he has to hide his ID as (Red) Robin in other ways.
How does he do it then, since he’s already well known as intelligent?
Great question! Simple answer: he pretends to be in a relationship with himself.
This only proves to be an issue in the future when Phantom ignores his advances and approaches tim later privately about (Red) Robin asking him out.
One day at family dinner Dick starts a rant about a pretty girl. His type - flaming red hair, tall, smart. It's always that type. The Bats are all stalkers, not just Tim. They may tease and poke fun at the boy who confronted Batman about his ID, but Oracle could tell them everything down to the average amount of time they spent brushing their teeth. And they all knew it. Professionalism and politeness have never been a hangup (or respect given) of any of them. Thus, Dick made an appointment with his new therapist Jasmine Fenton to spend time with her.
... Which utterly backfired on him of course. She completely wrecked his shit and he admits so with a dreamy sigh that makes every other Bat at the table physically cringe. Every single bit of the flirting went swoosh right past her, and she used it to rip open his issues with Kori and Babs like they were held together by Christmas wrapping paper instead of decades of trauma and violence.
After dinner Dick cheerfully slings an arm around Jason, the world blurs, and the next thing his siblings know they've been kidnapped and are waking up in a therapy office, stumbling through the door in a haze as Dick's words of blackmail and manipulation still rang in their ears.
You see, Jasmine didn't believe him about how bad his siblings were themselves. She believed he was dramatizing. Everyone always thought their own perspective was the correct one. Especially those used to acting purely on their own ideas of morality and leveraging authority to support said morals. She knew better than to say she thought he was speaking on bias out loud of course - but Dick was more than well trained in reading micro-expressions, and he knew she didn't believe him.
Dick presents them to her like a cat bringing a live lizard into the kitchen. It's after work hours, she was just about to leave, and now Cass is somehow on top of the fan blades on the ceiling twirling around, Damian is trying to distract her with mutual knife appreciation and it isn't working, Tim is disappearing into a void of the shadows creeping towards the door frame, Stephanie is raiding her secret snack stash and shoving it all in her pockets, and Jason is in a headlock as he and Dick argued.
Then Danny walked in. Sees all this. And they see him.
Jazz, realizing that she would absolutely not be able to continue with Dick as a client after this, turned to him with a smile. "You know how I'm not supposed to talk about clients."
"Ye."
"Baby brother, I found a family worse than ours. This is one of the most hilarious things that's ever happened to me. Call Dan and Ellie. While we wait for them to get here we're all going for late night tacos. Immediately. And then, we're gonna go steal the declaration of independence."
"Cool." Danny replies casually.
It is at this moment Dick realizes he fucked up. "Wait, you're serious."
Yup."
"We're stealing the declaration?"
"YUP."
"... Jazz, I'm in love with you." Dick states melodramatically with a hand over his heart.
"No, you're not. You're in love with Barbara but can't handle your own fantasies of perfection not matching up with a secure relationship with her. You view your parents with crowds cheering for their success as an ideal to live up to, and that's what you have with Kori, while a quiet domestic life with Barbara makes you believe you're letting them down and feels like a failure to their legacy to you."
Tim whispers, "Holy shit she killed him."
Physically incapable of not making death jokes Danny instantly turns and replies, "Not yet, just wait until she has more than ten tacos and a margarita in her."
"This is going to be one of the best days of my life." Tim tells him.
Both of them acquire popcorn and are watching Dick sobbing in the middle of a Chilis like it's a soap opera within half an hour. Tim, as always, is designated camera man that everyone makes eye contact with like they're on The Office while Jazz leads the pack in going feral.
And then everyone has to pretend they are completely average civilians as they literally break into and out of the National Archive Museum in Washington D.C. Not a single one of them knows what the social abilities of average civilians are supposed to be like when breaking into places.
Honestly it would be hilarious if Clark and Bruce started dating and Clark was unaware that Bruce was batman or knew his identity.
At some point Bruce kisses him as superman after a rescue and Clark is emotionally going through it coz his boyfriend kissed another guy. Even if that guy is technically him he's still mad and jealous of himself somehow coz even superman can't compete with Superman. He's not even sure whether or not to confronted Bruce about his affair since it keeps happening.
While he's trying to figure all this out Batman,of all people, kisses him. And he does it so casually. Sure, Clark had a crush on him for a while but he's over it now and he's in a committed relationship that he thought batman knew about. Now he's extra scared of confronting Bruce because he doesn't want it to look like he's just starting a fight so he can be with batman. And he's still hoping there's a way to work through this and for them to be together. He's being haunted by his moral code to just talk about this and get it over with but he's still afraid of losing Bruce and living in the shadow of the idolized version of himself again.
*Meanwhile in the batcave*
La la la Bruce, twirling around liking a fairy princess living his best life: my boyfriend's the best and every thing is perfect. Maybe world peace is real. Is this what happiness feels like?
The bat kids have tried giving him several rabies shots and an exorcism.
