#ifiwereapoem

[ifiwereapoem]

Love in 14 simple steps: A Recipe

(modern Shakespearean sonnet)

Measure one tall glass of sweet endeavors—

save the first three drops and pour in the rest.

One spoon of courage to have forever.

Twelve ounces of patience, kindness and lest

not forget—soothing eyes and gentle lies.

Two quick I love yous and half one promise.

Then slowly add the illusion of choice.

A hint of uncertainty and a pinch

Of restraint and giving up quietly.

Hold the abrupt depart—it’s too early.

Add tender unhealed wounds—delicately,

And lastly—a heart to hate lovingly.

If your heart can’t swallow him at first try,

try again—take your time—don’t say goodbye—

[ifiwereapoem]

"we met at the edge of the universe, the thread of love tugged at our feet and pulled us to where we can meet. the rivers stopped flowing, and the stars froze, as if caught in a frame. the galaxy came to a halt. it almost felt as if we were infinite."

-ifiwereapoem

[ifiwereapoem]

I see him, and I see everything I’ve ever wanted. a vessel of all my yearnings and desires, a cathedral of all the tender languages and gentle strokes, a monument to everything I gave away and never thought I would get back. and he is marching towards me, hands extended to embrace my insides, a stretched happiness across his lips, and love dripping from his eyes. I see him, and I see a calamity hidden between his heavy breaths. A colossal craft of my foretold heartache, a sailing ship with all my hopes for tomorrow, a bottomless ocean that will mercilessly drown me before I step foot inside. I see him, and I wonder if I’m using both eyes. I hear him and he sounds like the embodiment of sincerity and the vow of the returning sun. I hear him and it sounds like Apollo kissed his tongue and only allowed it to speak the unbelievable truth. I hear him and he sounds like an unfinished word, a misspelt phrase, a foreign language that doesn’t belong. I hear him and the skies tell me that Dolos and Hades disowned his lips, that his lips were forsaken, for they were never washed by the river of truth. I touch him and I feel all my worries fade into nothingness, I touch him, and I feel myself turning into a puddle of bliss and comfort. I touch him and I wonder how I’ve been surviving lacklustre and loveless physical contact all along. I touch him and he feels like infatuation like he would vanish at any moment, no warning provided. I touch him and I feel like I shouldn’t, I feel like im swimming in moving quicksand and no one knows but me.

ifiwereapoem

[ifiwereapoem]

Cephalalgy

Greetings beloved,

It is to my knowledge that you fancy me 

gone, dead—forgotten.

 The vast darkness you buried me in 

Is not enough to send me away.

Darling, we are past doses of antidotes and electric nudges.

There is no end to us.

 Need I remind you of the long restless nights

You spent untangling me from your thoughts. 

The throbbing sensation of my caresses on your flesh

And my raspy tenacious whispers

Kept you awake, and you—you relished in it.

 And I know—oh, I know how much you need my attention.

No one ever loved you like me. 

No one knows the bottomless chasm

Of your mind like I do. 

Who will smother you with spinal cords 

And remind you that only agony is permanent?

I will knock on your doors and then knuckle under your neck.

You say you no longer possess me, 

but I know that you like to call me 

Mygraine.

 I know I’ve been on your nerves lately, 

Mislaying you in a grey area.

But dear, you must forgive me. 

For you simply cannot get rid of me.

I exist in your blood, and you breathe life into me. 

[ifiwereapoem]

i first met you at the crossroads of an overblown star, i saw your wings turn into flames and your heart fracture into nothing. the eyes of the universe looked away but kept the door to your life ajar. this celestial body could not worship our glistening light together. ; i caught your eyes under the drizzle of the rain on a Saturday. you were hidden underneath the frail fabric of your umbrella, for if they caught a glimpse of your shadow, they would obliterate the blush in your eyes. this universe failed to recall the limbs you relinquished to breathe life into them. ; i heard your sincerity among the lies of mature words and whispers. mortals never seem to abandon voices that never belonged to them. ; i felt your touch as you pushed me into a strange cluster of constellations, you promised it would be the last time we behave in the same manner as lines. ; she looked at me with starry-eyed expressions, as if i held Helios and Selene on my shoulders. i yearned to preserve her gaze in the pockets of my heart, but the mundanes called for rescue and i could not dismiss their prayers. i missed her once again. ; i waited for her on the last stop of a forsaken heaven. the earthlings said that We would eventually meet at the end of the road. she did not come. ; we met at the edge of the universe, the thread of love tugged at our feet and pulled us to where we can meet. the rivers stopped flowing, and the stars froze as if caught in a frame. the galaxy came to a halt. it almost felt as if we were infinite. ;

ifiwereapoem

[ifiwereapoem]

“be vulnerable with me.

tell me you’re scared of losing me every day. 

tell me you love me every day. 

tell me you’re scared.

tell me you don’t care if you’re scared. 

tell me you will fight for us and me. 

tell me you will.

please.”

-ifiwereapoem

[ifiwereapoem]

i didn't want you to love me unconditionally and endlessly, even i can't promise or guarantee that for myself or anyone i know. i didn't want you to act like I'm irreplaceable and forbid yourself from tender words and touches after me, even i need a gentle drink of infatuation on busy afternoons and long shifts. i didn't want you to promise me forever and always, and swear on your heart that we are made of the same stars and magic, even i find it hard to believe that every time we are together the weather feels better and life is lighter and it feels like forever. i just wanted you to give me now. i just wanted you to give me the present. i just wanted you to love me as much as you could in the hours we were together. i just wanted you to be with me when we were together.

ifiwereapoem

[ifiwereapoem]

stop looking at me like we are still in love, it makes me wanna kiss you until i remember that i never once stopped. stop asking me how i am, it makes me wanna crumble and break and tell you how it feels like when i'm not with you. stop telling me about yourself, it makes me wanna rip your clothes off and take a closer look at where the pain is. stop talking to me, it makes me want to tell you about everything i should have said but didn't or couldn't. stop loving me, please.

ifiwereapoem