Processing breakups, heartbreaks, et cetera
You know when you cherish a person so much you become extremely afraid of losing them? Yes? Be that person for yourself boo x
Because I had created such a big deal out of it in my head, the what ifs , the insecurities, that when shit finally did go wrong, I felt relieved.
Nahhh not really i am in a horrible state of mind help
Just kidding^ drop that person from your life, whoever becomes more important to you than yourself
Because you give them a power far more greater than whatever authority and control you have over your own life, and life is already shitty as it is, why let someone else determine your happiness?
Happiness is rare, cherish even the ones who once made you feel great and the ones who cared for you , even if you can't let them be a part of your life. Things were good when they were good, but people can go from people you know to people you don't (rare and folklore are the reason I'm alive rn #taylena rights FTW)
This rant is coming from a person who lost her so-called bestfriend/roommate last year and a so-called boyfriend this week. What is up with Autumn and heartbreaks? And no don't worry they're happy healthy and very much alive , i lost them because i put myself first
You can't let anyone get used to using you. It's like, when you were five, and your greatest best friend in the world asked you for your most favourite toy, not once, but every single time you got one. You wouldn't hesitate saying no then, would you? So why give that liberty to anyone now? It's just, toys become feelings that people toy around with
But baaaabe you got this, a long list of failed friendships/ relationships doesn't mean you're not worthy, rather they weren't worthy of your efforts
Sorry I'm just too heartbroken to not be preachy
Also, unconditional love doesn't exist. Is it a bad thing? I thought so too, but it's not.
You gotta prioritise your expectations and find someone who matches your energy with the same. You will be vulnerable, yes. But it's the risk everyone takes, and it's fine. People change, their priorities become different.
By the next autumn, I'll probably be going out and about in a new country/continent/uni and I'll make friends, I'll fall in love again and who knows I'll get heartbroken again , but I can't wait to go ahead and experience life as long as it is here on this planet
And I'll give my all to that person as well, Because that's how i am, and if things go downhill I'll again put myself first
The most important relationship in my life is the one with myself. And I can't cheat on her, I can't lie to her. It's just not how it works, and I've got to take care of her dumbass poor heart because it opens up a lot and doesn't really get the same love back. But it's alright, I got me. I'll value myself and put my heart's needs above everyone else , because they're doing the same. And it's the only way of being.
LMAO I'm going to delete this very soon, or maybe my future self will be courageous and gentle towards me. Here's hoping ˙ ͜ʟ˙