#impalerprince

[everbleeding]

@impaler-prince / ✟

 “ sir  valvatorez      you  are  always  welcome  in  the  HELSING  household  .  you  may  stay  as  long  as  you  feel  so  ~ ”

[judgcr-blog]

i tried love me

happy birthday!! @impaler-prince

Fenrich knew his lord was a master of many things. Not only was he a exceedingly powerful demon, he was also a deeply compassionate man, perhaps too much at times, and a bold, inspiring leader. Whatever Valvatorez set his mind to, he would surely accomplish, for there was no mountain too tall for him to climb.

The steward mentally repeated those praises over and over, as though it were a mantra, and then took a deep breath. He slowly opened his eyes, so he could take in the scene before him piece by piece.

“Oh dear, that isn’t—hm.”

The vampire’s voice made Fenrich jolt slightly, and his eyes opened completely. As much as it pained him, he couldn’t help but grimace slightly as Valvatorez intensely studied the dish he held. It was caviar, at least that’s what Fenrich thought it was.

Noticing that the werewolf was staring at the failed caviar, Valvatorez cautiously placed it down on the table. As… odd as it looked, it wasn’t as though the thing was going to spring to life in some monstrous manner.

Still, Fenrich couldn’t help but tighten his grip on his knife.

“I’ll go get the roast beef, and then we can start,” Valvatorez said as he nervously fiddled with his gloves, “I must apologize for—“

“My lord, please. Don’t apologize, I don’t mind the wait.” Fenrich placed a comforting hand on the vampire’s shoulder, a small smile forming on his face. At his touch the former tyrant stiffened slightly, and then relaxed, casting another glance towards the caviar.

“Roast beef! I must go get it!” With a dramatic flourish of his cape, and then an adjustment of his apron, Valvatorez strode away.

Left alone for a moment, Fenrich had a moment to reflect on how the date was going.

He was still amazed he was even having a date with Valvatorez. His lord’s affections had always been something out of reach, and though he had allowed himself to fantasize occasionally about being that deeply intimate, it had been just that. Fantasies.

Yet here he was, on a date with Valvatorez. The strange caviar invaded his thoughts briefly, and Fenrich hurried to try and forget it.

Luckily, he wasn’t given much more time to become lost in his thoughts as Valvatorez came back, frowning intensely at the roast beef. The werewolf could only barely hold back a frown as he saw how… black and pink the entire thing looked. Maybe it was a variant of the recipe?

“I… I cannot apologize enough, Fenrich.” Valvatorez’s tone was somber as he placed the roast beef down. “This entire date has been nothing but… this. Perhaps I should just—“

“My lord!”

Valvatorez paused, staring at Fenrich with curiosity in his eyes.

“My lord. It’s…” Fenrich took a deep breath, “It’s fine if you don’t have some grand meal for me. I didn’t expect you to. Just… don’t stress about cooking. Sit down, let’s talk. That would be just fine for me.”

The former tyrant stiffened and continued staring, as though weighing the situation. After a moment of silence, he smiled faintly, and finally sat down.

“I still have to apologize. I just wanted to treat you to something, other than sardines, of course.” Valvatorez rubbed his chin thoughtfully, “Maybe I can only cook with those… hmm.”

As his lord pondered that question, Fenrich smiled at him. So maybe his lord couldn’t easily do every task he set to, maybe he wasn’t some perfect, unattainable demon.

And maybe he was fine with that.

[witchmetallia-blog]

@impaler-prince​ liked for a starter.

The witch scoffed."You think those puny little canned fish smell more divine than my precious swamp goo?"

Sure they didn't taste half bad, but was this guy serious? You couldn't even compare the two. "The fumes of my swamp are so noxious that even great beasts will choke and faint from the slightest whiff. Don’t even get me started on the flavor.... What can your sardines do? Make little kids cry? "

[jokeranonymous]

@impaler-prince @bloodsoakedtyrant (Whichever version you want to use.)

The masked immortal looked the guy up and down. “...So, wait. Are you an actual vampire? The whole ‘I vant to suck your blood! Bleh ble-bleh’ kind?” He wasn’t meaning that to be mocking, but it probably sounded like it. “You definitely look the part, anyway... I’ve just never actually met one, not around here, anyway.”

[asagikurosugi]

impaler-prince:

"Popcorn?"

“Yes, please.”

[writemeendlesssongs]

“I promise, and this is no ordinary promise but a pinky one! I heard in the human realm these are very...precious and not to be broken!”

@impaler-prince I tried, I hope you like it!

[darkheroclone]

"Axel. I must ask you to arrest me." As he just gets down on his knees and holds out his wrists with his head down.

That response was promptly met with an spit-take from the very much surprised Dark Hero Warden, whom quickly sets down his cup of coffee before he accidentally drops in it the middle of his coughing fit. Once he has settle down, he reaches up to rub his throat as he stares down at his friend with an look of complete utter bafflement.

What the heck is going on? Why is Valvatorez asking him to arrest him? Did… Did something happen earlier? Well, apparently so or else the vampire wouldn’t be here asking him to arrest him. But what exactly happened? Axel was determined to find out.

Rising from his seat, Axel walks over to him and, rather than arrest him there on the spot like requested, kneels down to his level to look at him, an expression of concern on his face.

“Uhhh… Val? Are you okay? What happened? And mind telling me why you want me to arrest you? I’d appreciate that, if you don’t mind. I rather not arrest an friend without at least hearing out what they have to say first.” Not that he intended to arrested the vampire in the first place. Whatever has happened can’t be all that serious, right?

[darkheroclone]

impaler-prince replied to your post: Axel's starry heart resident and Val's sardine...

~{{They’d stop and talk about their interests.}}~

[PFFFFT. Y’know what? Yes, that’s what they’ll do. There you go, Anon. This is what would happen if these two were to meet.]