#incorrect downton

[countess-of-bingewatching]

Tom: Why did the chicken cross the road?

Robert: Why?

Tom: To get to the idiots house.

Tom: Knock knock.

Robert: Who’s there?

Tom: The chicken!😂

Robert:

Robert: I won’t punish you on one condition.

Tom: Which is?

Robert: Go tell that joke to Carson.

[countess-of-bingewatching]

Mary: *hosts an amazing dinner party*

Violet: I did a good job with this party!

Mary: Without me, none of this would’ve happened!

Violet: Well, I’m your grandmother.

Violet: So without me, you wouldn’t have happened!

Mary:

[countess-of-bingewatching]

Violet *arrives at the Abbey for dinner*

Violet: I’m sorry for being late.

Robert: What happened?

Violet: Nothing, I just didn’t want to come.

Robert:

[countess-of-bingewatching]

Martha Levinson: Do you want to join Cora and the girls on a visit to the States? Come to my house in Newport?

Violet: I don’t, actually.

Martha: Right, you don’t want to be traveling at your old age.

Violet: Yes well, I’d rather be dead in England than alive in America.

Martha:

[countess-of-bingewatching]

Daisy: *doesn’t stop talking*

Mrs. Patmore: Daisy, why don’t you go and do that thing where you lie down with your eyes closed.

Daisy:

Daisy: Do you mean sleep?

Mrs. Patmore: Go ahead.

Daisy:

[countess-of-bingewatching]

Atticus: So, you live in Scotland. That’s cool!

Rose: First of all, my parents live in Scotland.

Rose: I live in the moment.

Atticus:

[countess-of-bingewatching]

Carson walks into the kitchen

Carson: Daisy, is something on fire in the oven?

Daisy: Oh shit, I forgot about the fucking cake!

Carson: Where did you learn such words?

Daisy: I trained under Mrs. Patmore...

Mrs. Patmore: That’s fucking right.

[countess-of-bingewatching]

Thomas, Jimmy & Alfred mess something up

Mrs. Hughes: I expected better of you!

Mrs. Hughes:

Mrs. Hughes: Actually, that’s exactly what I expected of you.