#incorrect hogwarts chat

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*in hell*

Satan: dude you gotta stop following me around

Slytherin: I don’t know anyone else here and i feel awkward

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Gryffindor: *counting on their fingers*

Bouncer: i just asked you how old you are

Gryffindor: can you shut the fuck up for a second

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Ravenclaw: watching sitcoms until 3am is free therapy

Slytherin: i think what you need is actual therapy

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Hufflepuff: how have you been coping with everything?

Ravenclaw: with sarcasm mostly

Hufflepuff: has that been working?

Ravenclaw: yeah it's been super great

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Hufflepuff: oh wow cinnamon coke is awful whose idea was it

Slytherin: we did that in rehab as a joke it was painful

Slytherin: oh coke like coca-cola?

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Woman: aw he's so cute

Ravenclaw: thanks he's a rescue

Gryffindor, their boyfriend: stop telling people that

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Slytherin: i cried in a room for 25 years and i didn't get a single hug from any of you!

Ravenclaw: *sighs* alright bring it in-

Slytherin: don't touch me!

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Slytherin: gryffindor is missing. can you find them?

Ravenclaw: do you think I have them micro-chipped or something?

Slytherin: well, do you?

Ravenclaw:

Ravenclaw: yeah, hang on.