#incorrect shadowhunter quotes

[kaitcreates]

Alec: That building is, like, 5 Clary away and we’re at least 14 Clary high.

Clary: Please don’t use me as a system of measurement.

[batnardomcfly]

Magnus popping into Alec’s room pissed: Why even have a phone if you don’t use it!

Alec, confused: I-I what? I was just taking a shower??

Magnus: For an hour? I thought you were dead!

Alec: I don’t respond immediately and you think I’m dead?!

Magnus: I have a lot of enemies Alexander.

Alec, stunned: How….how many-

Magnus: Too many! Come on you’re sleeping at my place tonight!

[l0verrg1rl0]

oh my god i’m sorry i didn’t mean to ghost you guys for four months

[chrasilla]

Alec: are you crying right now? Magnus: *sobbing* this book is too fucking sad Alec: Alec: it's an interior design magazine Magnus: *still sobbing* yeah, the designs fucking suck

[misfittq]

Clary: We call that a traumatic experience. Clary, turning to Maia: Not a "bruh moment". Clary, turning to Simon: Not "sadge". Clary, turning to Izzy: And DEFINITELY not an "oof LMAO"

[macfairchild]

Magnus: can you do something for me?

Alec: I literally entered Hell to rescue you

Magnus: right, well can you do the dishes?

Alec:

Alec: no.

[localitydreams]

Julian: since I'm leaving town for a while I have left you all a complimentary bowl if advice.

Julian, picking a piece of paper from bowl: for instance, 'Ty you can't keep that' just applies to everything

[fairchild-herondale-lightwood]

Alec: *Answers phone.* Hello?

Jace: It's Jace.

Alec: What did he do this time?

Jace: No, it's me, Alec. It's actually me.

Alec: What did you do this time?