#incorrect tma quotes

[cade-space]

Martin: it must be nice being rich instead of having to develop a likable personality

Elias: shut up.

Martin: buy my silence.

[eye-see-alll]

Magpod characters as things my friends have said (or that I overheard)

Gerry: *holding soy sauce over Elias’s drink*

Michael Shelley: No! *pushes Geeey’s hand away*

Og! Elias: I was planning to drink it, might have been interesting.

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Mrs. Blackwood: No, no you can never get a tattoo, it’s trashy and improper!

Martin: SHUT UP, IM GONNA GET TWO ASSES TATTOOED ON MY ASS!

📼📼📼📼📼

Tim: Have you filled out the Google form I sent to Com-Com?

Jon: huh?

Tim: It’s called untitled forglomp. It’s very important.

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Michale Salesa: I went to Quebec to pick up some swords- I slept in a bathtub one night.

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Simon: Eugh, that’s giving me vertigo.

Michael C.: Wait what do you mean, you- WAIT?! ARE YOU SCARED OF HEIGHTS? THAT IS SOOO FUNNY, YOU’RE A VA- HAHHAHAHAHAHAAA

Simon: Wait- what? You have to be afraid of your-

Mike: YEAH, I DON’T LOVE STORMS BUT YOU DONT WANNA GO?? ON THE ROOF???

Simon: ILL GO ON THE ROOF AND BE UNHAPPY ABOUT IT!

👁️👁️👁️👁️👁️

Elias: You clearly don’t have the brain capacity to sing the abcs backwards.

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Jared: I’m taking steroids as well, you know.

Mag 90 statement giver: Actually?

Jared: No.

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Oliver: Someone’s gonna die today.

Jon: Really?

Oliver: Yep. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, someone died.

Jon: How did you know that?

Oliver: …Are you fucking stupid?

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Michael Distortion: I’M FRACTALIZING!

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Mary, explaining the catalogue to Gertrude: You need to desecrate a corpse.

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Helen Distortion: AUGH! It smells like three cans of Bounce-That-Ass in here!

Melanie: If someone told me I smelled like three cans of Bounce-That-Ass I don’t think I’d be able to sleep at night.

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*Holding hands in a circle in a pool*

Gerry: We should get more people!

Martin: I don’t wanna hold hands with those people.

Michael (distortion): But we’re making a cult!

Gerry: No, we’re just trying to see how many people we can get!

Jon: We’re making a conglomerate.

Michael: A kilometer?

Martin: No- do you know what a kilometer is? I feel like you probably should.

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Michael (distortion): What if I licked your hand right now?

Michael C.: Please don’t :(

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Martin: I look like a homeless sea captain.

Peter Lukas: HAHAHA- that’s a good thing.

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Melanie: What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever seen on the job?

Basira: I had to tackle a naked guy once, that was a weird day.

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And bonus malevolent because I don’t know where else to put this.

Arthur: Is it possible to smoke horizontally? Because the right side of my body is very high right now.

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[spoiler-side-blog-forthehomies]

she grift on my bone til my ears start bleeding

[alice-blogs-things]

Incorrect TMA Quote

Gertrude: If anyone asks about Michael, his sacrifice was totally worth it.

Distortion! Michael: That’s sweet and all, but I’m actually still here.

[a-creature-of-q]

Georgie: Hey, it's your turn to wash dishes.

Melanie, overcome by traces of ghost bullet: I'LL WASH THE WALLS RED WITH YOUR BLOOD.

Georgie: 'Kay, but before that, wash the dishes, also use soap this time?

[solely-ashes]

[EXIT, PURSUED BY A DOOR]

[thesitharts]

Melanie, mimicking Jon: call me Johnny Sims, because baby, I’m your archivist

Martin: he would not fucking say that!!!

[crowleysnaketattoo]

I firmly believe that Tim was the only archival employee who knew how to actually archive in season 1 and I am Right

Tim: Sasha why do you have pens in here

Sasha: I hate pencils? These are my favorite pens? 

Tim: Sasha you can only use pencils I’ve told you like 8 times please I’m begging you

Sasha: Oh when YOU break the rules it’s fine, but when I do it-

Tim: I’m seducing people not damaging fragile statements please tell me you didn’t write on that statement oh my GOD Sasha PLEASE