Starscream and Skyfire on a date.
Starscream: So, what do you think of the Auto-scum?
Skyfire: You know, I think they might have a point.
Starscream, shoving ruststicks into his purse: I'm sorry, I have to leave.
Cliffjumper: Bad news, our Prime locked his keys inside his office
Cliffjumper: Good news! I can pick locks
Cliffjumper: Bad News. Prime now finds it very concerning that I know how to pick locks and he's given me three lectures about 'the value of privacy'.
Cliffjumper: Good news, my cute coworker saw me pick the lock.
Cliffjumper: bad news. It was Arcee, and she's already seen me fall off several ledges, cry because I saw a turbo fox that was too darn small, and knows I can ride a unicycle. She's never going to think I'm cool, that ship has sailed.
Skywarp: My great scam is that I've befriended a lot of incredibly intelligent people by concealing my indefensible stupidity Via the power of maintaining eye contact, nodding my head and going mhmm.
Skywarp: In my defense, I don't outright pretend to be smart, and if anybody challenges me on it, I'll admit that I'm out of my depth. I simply do not challenge the assumption that I know what they're talking about.
Starscream: I'm sick of hearing about which crystals will heal and cleanse my soul. I want to know which ones can hurt you and fuck up your vibe!
Shockwave: Any, if you're willing to resort to violence.
Starscream: You're speaking my language
Optimus: My toddler accidentally cursed himself into an existential crisis today.
Optimus: He's been crossing things out with his chalk and asked me to write his name for him. I did, he crossed it out, and then he freaked out because he thought it meant he didn't exist anymore.
Optimus: Every hour or so he asks me "am I still Bumblebee?" And I have to hug him and promise him he is.
Ratchet: Love the implication here that he was fine erasing things from existence until it affected him.
Mirage: I read that Capsaicin makes your mouth feel like it's burning because it increases your nerve sensitivity to heat. And methanol does the same thing but with cold. So if I eat a bunch of habanero peppers and breath mints, they should cancel out!
Mirage: Hey! Guess what hellfire tastes like!
First Aid: Fun fact! The nerve endings for "ouch too hot" and "ahh too cold" are different! Which means both can be activated at the same time, without cancelling out.
