#inday badiday

[deadwaifubuyfurcation]

I wish I can take all my words back but I can’t. I also know this feeling of anger is just sadness. While the sadness I have been feeling is actually anger. 😔

I know it’s not my fault I was raised this way, but as an adult it’s now my responsibility to deal with these emotions. They say there’s always some space between a stimulus and a response. I am aware I have to stay more in this space to allow me to think clearly.

I will be gentler with myself. I can also simply remove myself from whatever or whomever triggers me. I’d rather spend my time more on things and people that brings calm and joy in my life.

[daibadida1]

Mulugar ta kay di ta gwapa 😅

Just how awkward do I get. I used to call Paul dad kase, father-daughter yung trip namin back in HS so when I went to school kase dun siya nagwowork and my aunt is the principal there and talked to him wala namang nagbago except sa, dapat ko na yata i-stop pagtawag ng dad sa kanya kase may gf na siya. I don't feel so good. Hahaha iba pa maka stare nanay niya. Sorry po, matino po akong babae. Hahaha. Well, fuck. No big deal, awkward lang.

[daibadida1]

Asa naman tong rescue? Huhuy. Non-players, out now! 😂 Uuwi na ba ako? Luyaha lageee. Shat na bi?

[daibadida1]

Lousy day, vanity.

[daibadida1]

Nakakapagod na magkafeelings. Minsan kahit sarili mong kaligayahan kailangan mo i give up para lang di masaktan yung iba or para lang tanggapin ka nila. Ang hirap lang kase konting kasiyahan ko kinukuha pa ng sama ng loob ng ibang tao. Kailangan mag give way na naman. Wala na poetic vibe ko. Pota bye.

[daibadida1]

This girl’s in love with you pare

Gikilig ko nag tan aw niya, maski pag hubog na siya ug galasgaw na kaayo mukatawa. Gihunahuna nako iyang struggles sa life ug di nako madistinguish ang genuine smile sa fake smile. Kumusta na ba jud kaha ning tawhana ni. In spite all his arrogance, being a drunkard kiligon gihapon ko niya.

Napasa na sa ako ang shot and he was staring at me while drinking. Na curious ko unsa iyang ginahunahuna, he was just smiling. I wonder if he likes me too the way I like him.

Gikuha niya akong baso…I looked at his hands, ambot naa siguro koy fetish sa kamot. Those were the same hands who held mine. Ngano kaha to no？Siguro, ing ana lang jud siya mahubog ug ma broken hearted. Manggunit ug kamot. It may not mean a lot to him, pero it means everything to me. Nga tinuod jud nga nagkagusto ko sa iya.

That night, is just amazing. I woke up and he is still there, to see him that wasted…gusto nako siya alagaan, asikasuhon pero di nako gusto musobra kay maklaro na ang katag nga naa koy feelings niya ug ang katanga nako I let this feeling grow.

I don’t know what to do next sa tinuod lang. Should I blame you for being who you are when in fact I love every bit of it.

[daibadida1]

How do you actually forget that man? For a very little time, he paid attention to your existence and even made you laugh. It’s vanity. You can never remove that face off your head, not even his voice off your ears and even his smell off your nose. He have invaded your mind through good shits that you enjoyed so much, you never enjoyed that much. When was the last time you fell in love? Very long time ago and it is for the wrong person. How is he the right person? When all you ever know is that people come and go. What did he do to you that you are falling this damn hard. Are you worried that he wouldn’t catch you when you further fall? Or are you frightened that he’ll hold your hands and pull you into some strange place where you will never be able to remember how much love you have for yourself. What are your fears? Is it him or the feeling you have for him? A feeling that doesn’t let you sleep as early as you want to. A feeling that gives you a sad feeling whenever he doesn’t talk to you? The feeling of doing stuffs like paying attention to someone’s life? The feeling of not being okay because he left you. I don't you. Laughable situation.

[daibadida1]

This is why I avoid feelings and attachments. 

As much as possible dapat cold lang. Ang dami kaseng involved. Sadness, insecurities, cravings, tsaka anger. Lahat na lang. Ampota bes, I've never seen the person pero ang OA ng attachment. Sinabi ko na bang OA? Ah yeah, nasabi ko na. Gusto ko lang talagang bigyan ng emphasis yung OA kase ampotapete. Ayoko neto alisin mo to Lord! Ayokong nalulungkot kase hindi ko nagagawa yung thesis ko. Nakakadistract kase nago-overthink ka. Sobrang nakakinsecure, ayoko nakakaramdam ng insecurities kahit ang dami kong kapintas-pintas na ugali tsaka mukha. Nakakawala ng gana mabuhay, gusto mo nalang magtago sa sobrang kahihiyan (lentek na, habang tinatype ko 'to kala ko tumawag siya, bwesit) Ba't ba kase ako pinangakuan, kung papakuan lang din naman. Lagot mana siya uyyyyy! Nangayo pa ka ug number di man diay nimo ko tawagan. Nag-crave na nuon ko sa imong call. BWESIT! BWESIT! BWESIT! Assuming ko? O paasa kang buanga ka. Laina nimo uy! NAGLAGOT JUD KO SA IMO! Gusto tika patyon, napalaw jud ko nimo ha? 2 days na niagi muasa pa ba ko sa imong tawag? Di na siguro no? Lagot! Sapot! Sakit! I've never been this annoyed. Sa imo lang, wala pajud ko kakita sa imong dagway, maski sa full name. NA-SCAM JUD KO! Ngano suko man kaayo ko ani nga panghitabo uy.