i should be asleep; the sky is dark and no one is around to listen. if only my soul weren't so restless, maybe i can stop the sun's golden light from sending me to sleep this time. alas, no matter how many futile attempts i make to reset it all, my body refuses. it says "you've had your chances when you were a child. now you will operate how we've wanted all along."
i put my pencil on my desk and my head in my hands. a feeling of hopelessness creeps onto me again, and i'm left struggling with my own mind and my own heart.
it's maddening. it's just...
i look up from my thoughts, staring ahead for a moment. a feeling of relief washes over me, and i feel my body fall into a warm, snug embrace. i don't even have to turn around to know who it is.
besides, what would the point of turning be? Dr. Harvey only exists in that game and in my mind. not that i... really minded that. it was for the best.
There you are, dear. Are you alright, Ozzy?
i'm fine, i tell him. there's just so much on my mind. i'm just trying to keep busy.
May I... recommend a little sleep? It'll be a good way to occupy your time while getting well-earned rest.
you can try, but i'm afraid it won't work. as tired as i am, i can't force myself to sleep. believe me, i've tried.
Perhaps we could get you on some sort of medicine. I mean, a little extra help in that regard never hurt anyone. I could even run a few tests, check your labs for the best match. I am a man of science like you.
we study wildly different things, Harvey. i appreciate your help, but in reality, the only thing you can do is comfort me. and advise me. because all i can think to do is to go into the mines or some place and knock myself out-
Ozzy, don't even joke about that! I have nightmares about that sort of thing. Ever since that scare, in fact, I've had nightmares!
... you have? i... i didn't know, pretzel bun. i'm sorry. you're right, i do need to take better care of myself. the problem is... my body is refusing any kind of help. no matter how hard i try, i can't do anything about it. nobody's suggestions are helping, either. no offense.
I have noticed that. And no offense taken, I know your heart. Though, I'm ashamed to admit it, I'm not too familiar with the rest of you; it has been a moment since we've been together... Maybe we should look into some sort of vitamin for now? I thougjt I saw you bought gummy vitamins recently.
Try taking some of those for me. Don't worry about being consistent or anything; just try those once and see how you feel. Maybe try the melatonin one more time, even if you don't think it works. It's better than nothing.
... i will try. for you, Harvey.
That's all I can ask of you. You're going to feel better soon, and I will be here with you until you do. And beyond that, too. I promise. I love you so much, my Indigo.
the sensation of soft lips kiss my cheek and my forehead. his voice drifts away, but the embrace lingers. it'll envelop me for as long as i allow it.
i close my eyes and cry as i pray for forever.