#internal pain

[mvaljean525]

Unto a broken heart No other one may go Without the high prerogative Itself hath suffered too.

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Unto a broken heart - 1704

Emily Dickinson  1830- 1886

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Graphic - Julia Razumova  (B.1992)

[blubird513]

does mao mao have nightmares about his family?

Nightmares, are often the consequence of internal fears of something that you mind is preparing you for. The basis of this fear for Mao Mao in regards to his family is disappointing them and directly being called out by them. 

Mao Mao, to a degree has internalized certain negative traits about himself, such as being the smaller and less-muscularly inclined member of his family, this often being portrayed as a fantasy for him. The fantasy also includes the love and admiration of his family. For it to be a fantasy, the things within it, aren’t available or attainable to him at the moment. 

This is fantasy, however nightmare, as they are known for, bring out the worst in any simulated situation. In this case, his family hating him with “reasonable” reasons, (I.e. the destruction of the ruby pure heart and the valley now exposed to danger), and Mao Mao, wholeheartedly believing those reasons even if the mistake was all an accident.

For this specific nightmare, I added the namedrop of Adorabat in the sequence, as not only do Nightmares tackle specific fears to Mao Mao’s direct family, but possibly even new family. Further breaking confidence that he can move on, because even if the trauma happened a long time ago, it stays with a person for the rest of their life. 

It’s an experience, that people absorb from. That limits or enhances certain behaviors later in life, and is just another speed bump to the process of moving on. It can be overcome, but it takes time and energy to move beyond it. But however long it takes, as long as someone who loves you, things don’t always have to be so lonely, cause you know they’ll be with you, every step of the way. They can be your hero in your darkest of hours and will love you anyway.

[cocomuses]

i am now officially on a book buying ban. this is not good. time to smile thru the pain 😁

[evokerillager]

I think the cake just die

[proudmythicalbeast]

You will like this

[inaudibly-bloodandfire]

⚠️Trigger Warning Self-harm⚠️

Loving Chaos

I'm in love with self-destruction,

With the scarlet of my sins running down my arms,

Acid corrodes my heart,

Breaking the metal cage,

Freeing the shrapnel anchor from my chest,

I'm finally breathing.

I have a manic smile,

My eyes alight with glee and malice,

I've been told I look so happy,

I am happy, the happiest I'll ever be.

I rule my misery,

It bows down to me,

Placing the crown on my head itself.

I'm in love with self-destruction,

With the power and confidence it lends me,

I savour the blood,

It's everywhere, and I'm all the more glad for it.

I taste the freedom,

A hit of that heaven and hell,

I'm addicted to the lunacy,

Never afraid of the pain,

I pride myself on insanity,

Of seeing fear and a hint of worry spark behind someone's eyes.

I'm in love with self-destruction,

It wakes me up,

Inspires passion and emotion and all things that make up a human,

It electrifies me, the way people say love do.

Chaos, I love you.

-Remi

[nctzenina]

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[lilyverlial]

Crushing News, and Uncertainties

Mentions: @enambris @neheon-kha and Cormag (Who’s tumblr I am currently not following) The new’s had come over the Network pearl, though she had heard it shortly prior to the announcement. Enambris’ words ringing loud and clear as it had hit the seeker’s ears  "We lost... Cormag first, who succumbed to the Tyrant's curse, who fought until the last moment." She pauses a moment, collecting herself before carrying on. "...We lost seven staff, at the Revenant's Toll facility. We took some hits in that attack, we lost some good people. People who most of you may have never gotten to meet. Their names were Felicity Mendez, Bright Springtime, Gerald Stonesthrow, Alan Teifing, Andrea Rosewood, Nhagi Molkot, and Borris Volkov. Today... we lost Neheon Kha." As soon as she heard Neheon’s name, any further words just droned out from her mind. Her only thoughts being that Neheon was most defiantly still alive, she had to be. There was no way that the woman that the seeker had perceived as a close friend could be gone, right? Lily had remained stationary just outside the Network HQ as she looked to the sky, which had quickly darkened with clouds with rain quickly following. “What a cruel joke this is...” She mumbled to herself.  Though regardless of the rain, the seeker stood there still practically motionless her clothes growing soaked in the rain. Her hair quickly sticking to her skin, though she quickly moved it out of her face.  “Neheon... Your not gone right...? Your not dead.. there’s no way.. I’m gonna walk to the clinic and your gonna be there with your bright smile... Please be there... I just want to see my friend one more time... Please Neho....”  Though the seeker was speaking only to herself, she secretly hoped that maybe regardless of where ever the Xeala was, she would be able to hear it. And the seeker’s wish would come true.  She had just collapsed in the grass of the Network’s yard, still staring up at the sky, as tears rolled down her cheeks. The seeker letting out a loud frustrated scream, as she hunched herself over in the grass slamming her fist off the ground repeatedly. “Please, my friend... Come back...”