I am a living disaster. The curse of the ages. Every breath I take causes tragedy all around me. Every smile I have results in the pain of others. To suffer is to save, but sometimes I wish to be selfish. To not be responsible for the joy of the world around me. To be human and live as any all are. It is selfish to want such a thing. When I need to suffer to protect the innocent, to protect the kind, to protect those I love. My pain is their healing. My smile is their pain. I am the one born wrong, sent be a god to destroy the world. To suffer until the day I die to save the world. I was cursed from my birth. Disasterous and ruinous, I claw at anything I can get. My body aches, the flesh tears away, I am rotting and rotting and rotting. I can barely move, I can barely breathe, and still I am alive. Somehow, someway, I remain alive.
But it's a curse I no longer want. To rescind it to the heavens and live free is my desire. But it's an unrealistic fantasy. So what do I do? My joy is their suffering, my ease is their pain. To die and they would miss me. They do not see the way I am the root of suffering. All that is wrong in the world worsens when I smile. Is this really my fate, suffering preordained? Why would a god play such a vile trick? I do not wish to be the saviour when I can barely even save myself
